T-Rex: When a man and a woman love each other very much, they share a very special hug!
T-Rex: It's not always that special though, you guys!

Narrator: TRAUMATIC INSEMINATION COMICS

T-Rex: Sometime in the past, male bedbugs realized that since they have an open circulatory system, if a female doesn't want to have sex with them they can just CRACK OPEN HER BODY and inject their sperm right into her chest, where it will eventually reach her ovaries! And now all males have these HYPODERMIC STAB WEINERS, and the women are left with fully-functional genital tracts that only get used when it's time to deposit the eggs!

Utahraptor: The ladies evolved some countermeasures though, didn't they?
T-Rex: Yep! In the form of EXTRA GENITALS.

T-Rex: They've got this paragenitalia - paragenitalia! - on their chests that's this target for the guys, but which also limits their damage and lowers the chance of infection.
Utahraptor: Wow.
T-Rex: Yeah, when people talk to me about intelligent design I yell "BED BUGS HAVE INSTITUTIONALIZED STAB RAPES".

T-Rex: That - that normally ends the conversation right there