T-Rex: I don't want anything bad to happen to my friends! I don't want anything bad to happen to people who aren't my friends either, but I don't want anything bad to happen to my friends IN PARTICULAR.
Narrator: T-REX, UTAHRAPTOR AND DROMICEIOMIMUS STAR IN: COMICS!
T-Rex: The odds are that SOMEONE I know will be a victim of theft or crime or an accident or even violence, and that sucks, because there's basically nothing I can do to stop it!
Dromiceiomimus: You COULD stop it if you had absolute dominion over time and space, T-Rex.
T-Rex: You know I don't!!
Utahraptor: You can't really live your life in fear of bad things happening, my friend!
T-Rex: Oh, it's not fear.
T-Rex: It's just - a preemptive sadness, I guess? Melancholy. By "melancholy" I mean "a thoughtful sadness", as opposed to the archaic definition ("a black bile once believed to be excreted by the kidneys").
Utahraptor: I got that from context, yeah.
Narrator: EPILOGUE:
T-Rex: I stomped on people while talking about how sad it is when bad things happen! This is an example of "dramatic irony".
Off panel: No it's not!
T-Rex: Utahraptor, you crazy dude! What are you doing in my epilogue?
