Narrator: OKAY, FINE, I'M SORRY
Narrator: a web card
T-Rex: Okay okay, here it is:
T-Rex: I'm sorry!
T-Rex: Well, I'M not sorry, but the sender of this card is sorry. To you. For whatever he or she has done, or didn't do, or didn't do enough, or did too many times, or whatever - this is their way of saying "Look: sorrys ahoy."
T-Rex: And they're not just sorry about whatever the most recent slight was, either!
Utahraptor: They're not?
T-Rex: Nope!
T-Rex: The sender of this card apologizes for all previous faults, real or perceived, as well as any future faults that may or may not occur. This is it. This is the ultimate apology, and it's retroactive, contemporaneous AND preemptive.
T-Rex and Utahraptor: Never has there been a more vast and yet totally sincere apology!
T-Rex: Oh also! Reading this indicates irrevocable tacit acceptance of this apology and your consent that you'll never expect or demand an apology from the sender of this card for anything ever again.
T-Rex: Allow me to just say:
T-Rex: HOORAY FOR WEB CARDS
