Narrator: THINGS T-REX HAS DESCRIBED AS "NEAT": AGE 8: NINJA TURTLES
T-Rex: Hah, I sure did describe ninja turtles as being neat! Splinter taught them to be ninja teams! What's not neat about that?

T-Rex: HE GAVE THEM THE TOOLS THEY NEEDED FOR LIFE SUCCESS.

Narrator: AGE 22: KISSING FINGERTIPS
T-Rex: What? No, I never said that! It's not true!!
Dromiceiomimus: Hah hah! "Hey baby, I'm T-Rex! Can *I* kiss your fingertips?"
T-Rex: I never said that, Dromiceiomimus! You'd better not have quotation marks around that!!

Narrator: AGE 23: KISSING ELBOWS
Utahraptor: Into the 'bows, I see!
T-Rex: I'M NOT! This is an unreliable narrator!

Narrator: AGE 24: KISSING BUMS
T-Rex: Total sass.
Utahraptor: Is it the curve of bums that you like, or is it the wide plain of flesh?
T-Rex: Oh my God. TOTAL SASS.

Narrator: AGE 30: KISSING BUMS ON HIS ELBOWS
T-Rex: I'm not even 30 years old!
Narrator: YOU'LL SAY IT IN THE FUTURE
T-Rex: Maybe "bums" refers to our nation's homeless persons?
Narrator: NOPE CAN'T SAY THAT IT DOES