T-Rex: Hello and welcome to Super-Fan, the #1 talk show for fans of Superman!
T-Rex: Today we're talking about Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen!
T-Rex: Here is a man who is known primarily in relation to another person. He's not "Star Reporter Jimmy Olsen" or "Enthusiastic And Inventive Lover Jimmy Olsen"; his main claim to fame is being another more successful guy's friend. How does that make him feel? What does he think about when he's lying awake in bed at 3 in the morning??
Utahraptor: Probably how awesome it is that Superman's his friend?
T-Rex: PROBABLY, yeah!!
T-Rex: Dude has ZERO PROBLEMS anymore. Car stuck in a ditch? Hey let me call my friend, A LITERAL SUPER MAN. Being mugged? Wow if only there was some kind of GOD-LIKE SPACE ALIEN I could call to help out!
Utahraptor: Perhaps via some sort of SIGNALLING WATCH? One which I'm LITERALLY ALWAYS WEARING?? JIMMY OUT, FOOLS.
T-Rex: In conclusion, I've never read any of the Jimmy Olsen comics, but if they don't each end with him saying "Jimmy out, fools" then our culture still has a LONG way to go before perfection.
T-Rex: THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY PODCAST, EVERYONE!
T-Rex: IT'S REAL SHORT
