Narrator: HOW TO WRITE ROMANCE STORIES
T-Rex: Romance is a genre just like any other! You just need to know which genre points to hit, and then it's smooooth sailing.
T-Rex: And YES, I now know that was a metaphor I should've saved for "How To Write Stories With Boats In Them"!
T-Rex: In a romance story, you just need to have some love! It's tricky though: that's how they get you. It can't be the love between a woman and her personal electronic devices! If you put this in your editor will say "this is just 250 pages of a woman becoming increasingly satisfied with her new TV, and you should give up writing fiction and start writing for TV companies".
Utahraptor: Can it be love a woman feels for managing her time effectively?
T-Rex: No, that was the next thing I tried!
T-Rex: Among the things I'm told are NOT romance stories are: love between man and sandwich, love betwixt woman and man AND sandwich, and a review of the food at this really romantic restaurant. It has to be two people who like each other, and THAT'S IT.
Utahraptor: Can they at least be dogs?
T-Rex: Lemme check.
Narrator: SOON:
Off panel: Sir, we are happy to accept "The Lady In Fur: Claws for Dismissal" for publication.
T-Rex: Utahraptor!! Utahraptor, guess what?
T-Rex: They can be dogs!!
