Narrator: A Hiftory of Dinofaurs
Narrator: Being a Survey of the Fielde, tolde with equal parts Flourish and Pædogogy, epitomized by a plain and familiar Manner, without an unnecessary Mixture of useless Curiosities and needless Repetitions.
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Narrator: Dinosaurs, or Man-Lizards, to-day knowne as G-d’s Mistake, had assum’d Domain over all the Worlde, including the dark Lands of China-Men.

Narrator: By no means Fit for their Purpose as Kings and Queens, the Dinosaurs spread Fear and Incontenience, along with several similar Inconveniencies, which neither can be Described nor Understood without having first seen one of the Færsome beasts for oneself; thy Stars are indeed Fortunate, for in to-day’s Moderne Age, the only such Animale thy shall see is in a rare Wood-Cut or handsel Picture-Book, where thou art Protected from the joyn’d Devourment and Digestione by the Fictionality of the Beast in question.
Narrator: The plague of their Times, the Dinosaur was known for taking Plæsure in rendering one’s abode or Self flatten’d.

Narrator: This being the Case, there was great room to Fear, for many chylds would not survive the certain Mischief done them by the Tyrannosaurus Rex, Utahed-Raptor, &c.

Narrator: The stern voice of Science tells us that these Monstrosities, once having exhausted the Novelty of Death-giving, simply took it as a Matter-of-Course, and paid it little Attenshon, likely dedicating the remainder of their Faculities towards some Conversation and Jokery.

Narrator: Being thus provided with a Compleat exposition of the Dinosaurs, take care, gentle Reader, that you do not deviate from the strait and Upright path set before you by our Father, lest you find thyself in the same Position as these Beasts, and there be no roome for you on the Ark.
Ornate frame: MDCCXLIX