Narrator: BATMAN'S LAST CASE
T-Rex: Batman, having solved all other crimes, found there was just one crime left. Unfortunately for him... it was the PERFECT crime. You see, SOMEONE had stolen a candy bar 15 years ago...
T-Rex: ...AND THEY'D GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT.
T-Rex: The shopkeeper who was robbed had never noticed it was missing, plus it was over a decade ago, so she definitely didn't want to press charges, which in Gotham City was code for "have Batman investigate (and/or throw batarangs at) the crime". Luckily for Batman, he didn't rely on shopkeepers to tell him when to investigate crimes!! He investigated ALL crimes, BECAUSE HE'S BATMAN, AND I LOVE HIM FOREVER.
Utahraptor: Also, this was the last crime left.
T-Rex: That too!
T-Rex: Anyway, Bats soon found the culprit: a young woman who had stolen the candy bar when she was a kid living on the streets. She'd since cleaned up her life and found success in retail management. She offered to repay the cost, but Batman did it himself, WITH interest. And with that, AT LONG LAST, crime was solved forever.
T-Rex: Batman retired to space, where he could fight crime on other planets.
Off panel: I don't see how this is a better story than "The Dark Knight Returns".
T-Rex: AND I DON'T SEE HOW YOU DON'T SEE THAT
