T-Rex: The Amazing Life, by T-Rex!

T-Rex: A story with an EGG-citing twist!!

T-Rex: Once upon a time there was an entity named "Eddie Grimlock Gabriella" who was born in a pile of hay. But after he was born he was taken away by a strange man! The man locked him in a box and put the box in a truck. Then another man rescued him from the truck but put him up for sale!! Finally someone paid the ransom and rescued him and took him into their home.

T-Rex: WHERE THEY PLACED HIS BODY INTO BOILING WATER AND ATE HIM!!
Utahraptor: Edward's an egg, right?

T-Rex: WHOAH!! How'd you know?
Utahraptor: Well, his name spells "EGG" and you promised an "EGG-citing twist", the English language equivalent of a flashing neon sign that reads "Why Not Think About Eggs".
T-Rex: Aw geez, right!!

Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: "The Amazing Life", by T-Rex! A WHALE of a good story where everything goes to the DOGS!
T-Rex: Ouch!
T-Rex: What the hell, I despise that last sentence so much that it's actually hurting my self esteem??

May 28th, 2012: I got a bunch of emails from Actual Physicists about yesterday's comic! TOTALLY REASONABLE OBJECTIONS INCLUDE:

• If the universe were shrinking but the speed of light were constant, then all sorts of things are broken
• If the universe were shrinking then the speed of light would slow proportionally, and therefore it would be undetectable, therefore there's no change if it's true or not so it's an irrelevant theory that may as well be true for our universe
(I liked this one quite a bit)
• Our universe is actually expanding and the speed of light remains constant so why would shrinking be different

These are all very good points! Rather than accept the blame for this myself, as author, I will pass it entirely off on Utahraptor, who was wrong but has his friends SO ACCUSTOMED to him being right that now they accept it without questioning. OH SNAP did I just turn a writing / research mistake into character development? OH SNAP-A-DOODLE.

Also thanks to everyone who emailed me - I love this stuff and it's always awesome to hear from people who do it professionally!

One year ago today: alternatively, why would i add you after only meeting you once? what sort of dark magic is this

– Ryan