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having a bunch of screenprinting ideas, actually?
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recent regrets

it's not a day for work, it's a day for catching sun
The Alsatian pictures are absolute rubbish
In January MMXV, they moved together to London, but separated in November MMXVI via a cliche posted on the social networks
An Australian school has covered a statue from view because of its "potentially suggestive" depiction of a saint handing a loaf of bread to a boy
starring George Takei and Kevin Spacey
Bryan Singer's Robin
I know that comic book nerds will buy fucking anything, but who the hell wants a story starring a boy who is basically defined as a pederastic relationship
that there was a Robin comic
Death By Chocolate but instead of being a sickly cake or sachertorte it's a supervillain and the series of small boys trained by a billionaire sociopath to fight it struggle to defeat it for weeks but in fact it is a cake after all
There was a storyline in a Robin comic where the writer wanted the female villain to be tricked by chocolate
those goddam Pokemon
contriving to be naked in their presence, groping and making lewd phone calls
I Fucked Your Death Star Oh Yeah Well I Fucked You Mom Beach
Coarse and Rough and Irritating and It Gets Everywhere Desert
Crazy Old Wizard Lake
Dying Of Sadness Canyon
Anakin Sand Flats
rubbing the lotion on its skin in the bathroom at church
Nostromo Chasma
it rubs the Chansey on its skin or else it gets the hose again
[ show all 131911 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) castrating a bull before dinner
(2) North Korea still relies on human excrement to run its government
(4) wondering how it is possible that Sisqo's costume from the Wild Wild West video is not in the Smithsonian's "Gayest Things of All Time" exhibit
(3) don't even THINK about Jewel, she's mine
(1) wondering what a man's parents think when they find out he died being buttfucked by a horse
(2) Kento's sizzle reel
(1) getting gaslighted
(1) getting blacklighted
(2) getting blacklisted
(1) Some people are kind of Scottish, or maybe, um, uh, afraid, and you're trying to persuade
[ show more ]

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top regrets

hearing your parents talk about sex they have with their partners (1.0000)
just having another thing to hate yourself for (1.0000)
forgetting to feed your klinoppe (1.0000)
the Leprechaun violently emerges from Kowalski's penis when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
Scientology (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
the clone wars (1.0000)
swan swan stupid stupid swan crappy regret swan swan swan blah blah blah meating cumguzzling blah blah blah swan swan Kento swan blah blah swan (1.0000)
spam fritters (1.0000)
your plumed, tusked beak, with which to husk the meek, your countenance appals us, behold! the hideous swalrus (1.0000)
butte snows (1.0000)
listening to Chinese Japanese English hip hop (1.0000)
fucking that chunky girl (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
ratma (1.0000)
how sore and puffy your breasts are (1.0000)
white people wearing shirts with Asian characters they don't understand on them (1.0000)
Custer's revenge (1.0000)
that the hr wiki needs a thousand and seven hundred dollars (1.0000)
all I see is an Eiffel Tower of reams, real cum burstin' out of every seam (1.0000)
not being able to use a star to abbreviate Homestar Runner with the Regret Index syntax (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
pewdiepie (1.0000)
having something you've cherished since late middle school wrenched from your hands (1.0000)
Kento (0.9993)
gangnam style (0.9982)
Fifty Shades of Grey (0.9906)
Sonny John Moore (0.9847)
leaving the remains of that totally awesome chocolate bar you bought earlier in your car in the summer (0.9804)
the "hey guys, remember Jaylala" regret being on the top regrets list (0.9795)
meeting Brian Peppers (0.9789)
realizing too late (0.9785)
having sex with Arthur Yehezkia (0.9737)
that Ryan is an inconsiderate jerk (0.9730)
only remembering hours later that you should have asked how HER day was (0.9714)
hey guys, remember Jaylala (0.9706)
letting the mildew get that bad (0.9683)
regardless, not knowing how to fly (0.9677)
that according to Wikipedia, Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid television writer and producer in history (0.9672)
not telling her how you really feel (0.9667)
spooning Jaylala's boobs (0.9667)
discovering in hindsight that you've been carting around the paranoia of a crappy high school relationship for years, leading you to act like everyone's going to hate you and call you a latent criminal, whereas in fact people trust and like you (0.9655)
leaving your passport in your pocket before doing the laundry (0.9643)
looking a gift horse in the mouth (0.9643)
not asking her out before she left forever (0.9643)
telling him to go away when really you wanted him to hold you in his arms and make everything okay (0.9630)
forgetting to reply to correspondence (0.9630)
joining the military (0.9623)
not visiting a place that intrigued you before it closed or was demolished (0.9620)
That there are no dashes on here, and therefore no good way to spell that oh so important Ryan alter ego T rex (0.9600)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9600)
coming up with the perfect comeback, but only when it's far too late to use it (0.9600)
feeling kind of weird that all of the sudden you have such a strong interest in finding someone who could have easily just emailed you had she wanted to (0.9583)
staying on the Internet until the sun rises again, even though you have school or work in the morning (0.9583)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9583)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9583)
spray on tans (0.9583)
Horatio (0.9583)
not being able to get up the courage (0.9583)
really wanting to see some movies back when they were in the theater, and still not having seen them now that they are way past being on DVDstill having not seen (0.9583)
giving your email to that sketchy website (0.9574)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9565)
delicious foods that are far too hot to eat, ands arren't cooling down fast enough (0.9545)
that your father asked you to help him find an external harddrive to store his porn collection (0.9545)
not being sure where in your room that rotten food smell suddenly started coming from (0.9545)
assuming people on the internet would know when you were joking (0.9545)
not getting the reference (0.9545)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9524)
blah blah blah angst angst blah blah (0.9524)
eating part of the sandwich before spotting the mold (0.9524)
consuming Hardee's products (0.9524)
oh my god, when did you stop being able to use the proper "too", it's late, you should maybe consider sleeping (0.9524)
leaving the burner on (0.9524)
teh sneeze that revealed your presence (0.9524)
having no food (0.9500)
telling her you loved her that one time t new years eve when you should just have kissed her instead (0.9500)
the touchpad on your laptop causing all sorts of weird typos (0.9500)
only having crushes where you've resigned yourself to the fact that they will never work out (0.9500)
that your adolescence was stolen from you by depression (0.9500)
starting watching that epsiode of that show now, when you probably have ten minutes before you have to pack up and head home (0.9500)
trying to make your calculator say OBOESHOES but failing because you can't fit the ninth digitletter (0.9500)
swearing at really, really, really inappropriate times (0.9500)
that you started using IDK, BB, DIAF and the like ironically, but they've just kind of stuck (0.9500)
not learning more languages while your brain still could (0.9487)
unintentionally leading on a good friend (0.9474)
going to the moon and not bringing any chicks (0.9474)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of the ith prime to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.9474)
chewing on the inside of your mouth (0.9474)
trying to use ebay to gague how much an item is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars (0.9474)
used the wrong verb form (0.9474)
not being aware there was an eclipse to see (0.9474)
Gorean "philosophy" (0.9474)
mistakenly typing, for the first time every in your language nazi LIFE, the word "your" instead of "you're" in a very public forum, such as the Regret Index, for instance (0.9474)
sliding down a very rusty and dirty slide (0.9474)
knowing that you have to stepp things up and puut more effort in, but just really not having a good time with motivation right now (0.9474)
not knowing if acquaintances pity you, hate you, or think you're a pretty cool person (0.9474)
trying to get your working life back on track, but instead just losing track of everything that makes you happy (0.9474)
signing up to receive MoveOn's email newsletters (0.9474)
not proofreading a comment before posting it and realizing you can't edit the mistake (0.9459)
missing your chance (0.9459)
Contemporary Christian Music (0.9444)
losing your mind a little, just enough to be aware of it, but not completely enough to have loco bananas fun with it (0.9444)
giving her a second chance, only to have it dashed and crushed in a fiery dazzle of emotions and pain (0.9444)
furries giving regular old surreal animal headed figures a bad name (0.9444)
meeting Brian Peppers Kento (0.9444)
only having time for a half a minute (0.9444)
that your name is "inherently funny" instead of being "inherently badass" (0.9444)
spending ten minutes to make coffee this morning and forgetting to drink it (0.9444)
being the whole bag in one sitting (0.9444)
processed foods being so much cheaper than fresh and unprepared food (0.9444)
nurrr having the dumb (0.9444)
the number nine (0.9444)
not correctly conjugating your damn regret (0.9444)
that apparently you're not leaving an impression on even your friends anymore (0.9444)
waiting until the last moment (0.9444)
having the ability to finish a videogame that is nothing more than a grindfest but not being able to do anything productive (0.9444)
not knowing the appropriate number of times to call someone without them calling you back, when they call you back one time out of four, so maybe it's a hint or maybe she's socially careless (0.9444)
agreeing to work another person's shift during the airdate of the finale of the only show you actually watch on television anymore, because it was early and they took you off guard (0.9444)
always choking down whatever feelings, beliefs and goals people attribute to you on the grounds that it's not like you can produce evidence to argue with (0.9444)
that commenting on an old regret with comments already on it doesn't bump said regret to the top of the "recent comments" list, making "recent" a misuse of the word (0.9444)
getting up early just to meet someone, who then doesn't turn up (0.9444)
great quotes that don't work so well in text format (0.9444)
working rather than time traveling (0.9444)
John Grisham's "The View" (0.9444)
forgetting to take the money dispensed out of the cash machine (0.9434)
failing to maintain a creative skill because you were too shy to show anyone your work (0.9429)
knowing that you could have phrased that sentence more elegantly and it will haunt you forever (0.9429)
yelling at someone who didn't deserve it (0.9423)
being tense and nervous and you can't relax (0.9412)
playing furcadia (0.9412)
having nothing, I mean literally absolutely fucking nothing, to do (0.9412)
watching Grey's Anatomy (0.9412)
having to wade through a ton of retarded regrets before you find something worth voting on (0.9412)
not being able to tell people to fuck off in business correspondence, without consequences (0.9412)
giving yourself one thing to do all day and not doing it (0.9412)
not being able to think of decent comebacks (0.9412)
not being a bad enough dude (0.9412)
snaring yourself in your own web of lies (0.9412)
being unable to concentrate long enough to finish ONE PAGE of ANY book in a single sitting, let alone a whole book (0.9412)
boring season finales (0.9412)
having a moron for a landlord (0.9412)
not getting enough sleep last night, and history repeating itself tonight (0.9412)
that the only quality reading time you get anymore is while you are in the bathroom (0.9412)
never getting to plow you, never getting to plow all about you, never getting to ride you, never getting to hope you ride me (0.9412)
leaving your first real relationship to your henchmen instead of spending more time on it yourself (0.9412)
forgetting the awesome regret you were about to add (0.9412)
telling yourself two hours ago that you were going to go outside and paint or something (0.9412)
not being able to email pancakes to other people (0.9412)
having thought of something that must be added to your story, but forgetting before next you work on it what it was (0.9412)
synaptic misfires (0.9412)
not knowing what love means (0.9412)
being that really old meat (0.9412)
seeing so many idiots putting so much effort into being offended by things that are not even mildly offensive just because they crave attention or validation and they refuse to end themselves (0.9412)
being friendless, leaving you with nobody to ask to record your favorite show (0.9412)
letting a fart slip and then realizing you just shit your pants a little (0.9412)
waking up from a good dream and instantly forgetting what it was about (0.9412)
not realizing you misspelled a regret before submitting it so all the comments on it end up being about the error instead of the actual regret (0.9412)
watching The Hills (0.9412)
not knowing which is more smug, a swan or a canadian goose (0.9412)
not being able to think of any food to make from the stuff you have on hand (0.9403)
playing one of your favorite songs so many times it ceases to be special (0.9394)
taking out your anger on everyone but the person who caused it (0.9389)
saying something stupid in an attempt to impress a hero with your wit and whimsy (0.9381)
realizing too late he or she wasn't just being friendly, that it was flirting (0.9379)
more than anything, you just don't like feeling unproductive and unprofitable, and you especially have guilt over getting an education in something and then struggling to make it useful (0.9375)
misjudging the color nail polish you bought and ending up with three bottles of the same color (0.9375)
never having heard of metaplasmus before now even though you've seen it in practice countless times (0.9375)
when an ad or something similar uses an asterisk as if to call out a footnote, but doesn't include the actual footnote (0.9375)
not being able to pick a lower quality video option in this one website so you can just watch the dang thing without it buffering every half second (0.9375)
not being able to play Zelda I like it's the first time (0.9375)
that Juggalos are the absolute worst subculture the world has yet to produce, as though they were part of some kind of secret government project to create a genetically engineered Super Retard by combining the DNA of wiggers, rednecks, and goths (0.9375)
Return of the Jedi was made (0.9375)
being so deeply embedded in the sexless, socially awkward persona you've created for yourself, probably as a defense mechanism, that now that you want to change you're really having trouble getting out (0.9375)
unfounded suspicions (0.9375)
not starting that project sooner (0.9375)
those other three Tremors movies (0.9375)
being automatically associated with those who use reddit (0.9375)
minnesota (0.9375)
not doing your homework a few times and realizing you may fail your course because of this (0.9375)
not being able to do enough (0.9375)
having an unhappy friend who doesn't bring up directly what they're unhappy about, and not being sure how to make them feel better or if it's possible at all (0.9375)
following that link even though you knew vaguely what it led to (0.9375)
taking an exam to discover it had little to no questions about the material covered in class (0.9375)
lending your bees to a dishonest beekeeper (0.9375)
jerks (0.9375)
Open Office being frozen, and you can't just end the program and restart it because of your unsaved data which is in fact extremely important (0.9375)
posting on the regret index rather than manning up and just calling the damn could be sweety already (0.9375)
meating Brian Peppers (0.9375)
that due to serverlag and games never finishing brokenpicturetelephone dot com has become the worst possible execution of the best possible idea (0.9375)
stretching your legs and it feels so good until OH GOD CRAMP (0.9375)
having no qualifications (0.9375)
not being able to find your library card (0.9375)
crying like a baby at the end of a DVD series, but at the moment barely having a life of your own (0.9375)
clumsy fingers (0.9375)
being part of the vicious circle that lowers the price of illustration and design, because you don't know how to price and when you're that desperate to make a living off of something meaningful to you, you'll take the cheap jobs, and work for exposure (0.9375)
that your housemate is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really have to pee (0.9375)
getting your sad all over the place (0.9375)
forgetting that piece of chocolate on your poket so when you put your hand back in you find it almost melt (0.9375)
not studying for my exam, and not shoeing up to a single lecture all year (0.9375)
that someone will eventually start spamming the site (0.9355)
having a sticky e key, apparently (0.9333)
taking a trip down memory lane, but then getting jackknifed on bitter regret turnpike (0.9333)
marrying a person that you already knew was mentally ill (0.9333)
being attractive enough to be hit on but not socially aware enough to do anything about it (0.9333)
blowing it (0.9333)
thinking, worrying, that the rest of the Regret Index considers you to be a grouch, a prude, a party hyphen pooper (0.9333)
your pen is exploding (0.9333)
even reading the term Brangelina (0.9333)
buying that expensive thing that doesn't actually work better than the cheaper thing (0.9333)
never practicing the piano as much as you should, even though you like it more than you say you do (0.9333)
getting all zonked on the angel dust and acting like a tough, but you ain't nothin' but a queer from Philly, see (0.9333)
rediscovering shitty music at just the worst time (0.9333)
being at a loss for what to do until it's dark and cool enough for the writing frenzy to kick in (0.9333)
being a passive aggressive roommate (0.9333)
waking up today with a sore throat and possible lung affliction, after having no developing symptoms and not being able to think what you could have done to cause this sickness (0.9333)
network decay (0.9333)
trying to writeth yon novel entire in Olde Englishe despite having thou only vaguest notion of what people hath conversedeth similar to in such times past , and abusing the suffixeth "eth" throughout, as well as the language in general, forsooth, verily (0.9333)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (0.9333)
forgetting to wash the clothes you have to wear tomorrow until just now (0.9333)
knowing what to do, and not doing it (0.9333)
finding some really fucked up fanart online (0.9333)
never teling her you've been crazy about her since you met (0.9333)
David Carradine dying in a puddle of his own Bill spill (0.9333)
weight loss ads where the "before" and "after" are clearly two different people (0.9333)
that helen thomas kind of reminds you of ayn rand for some reason (0.9333)
only having crushes where you're totally deluded that they cannot help but work out, then pursuing them with a full tilt zeal that would make the Luftwaffe seem like a buncha Luftwafflers, amirite (0.9333)
people who use the phrase "internship position" as a more positive way to say "unpaid position", even though there are such things as paid internships (0.9333)
watching the Dragonball movie (0.9333)
not finishing off the protagonist when he was weak and inexperienced, and instead sending a stream of minions on a shallow difficulty curve that perfectly matched his increasing power (0.9333)
a wild Thom Yorke appears! (0.9333)
that despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart (0.9333)
leaving your twelve pack of soda in the grocery store parking lot in the bottom of the cart (0.9333)
being a Korean soccer fan now (0.9333)
straining relations (0.9333)
not applying for that job sooner (0.9333)
staying up in order to accomplish something, but just sitting around instead (0.9333)
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine (0.9333)
finally finding a job to apply to, but having the listing removed right as you're about to apply for it (0.9333)
losing the piece of paper that had all of your plans scribbled on it (0.9333)
working for a jerk (0.9333)
screwing Andy (0.9333)
drinking the water in Mexico (0.9333)
Sucking your thumb as a child and now you have to wear braces (0.9333)
realizing that she thought of you as a weird creep all along and you thought you had a nice conversation (0.9333)
not washing your hands (0.9333)
giving up your pets for the sake of a partner (0.9333)
not washing your dishes and letting bugs take over your kitchen (0.9310)
failing at coming off witty when trying to befriend someone (0.9310)
those song with a minute or so of silence at the beginning (0.9310)
reacting angrily to reasonable advice (0.9302)
a life of regret (0.9302)
forgetting to check on the pizza in the oven (0.9302)
The lip at the opening of the cheap bags of cereal under which all the cereal gets trapped while trying to pour it out (0.9286)
not understanding this thing Earthlings call "love" (0.9286)
not cleaning your room until moving out of the house and discovering that it was pretty big after all (0.9286)
that all your loves have been unrequited (0.9286)
not having the time to learn more about something (0.9286)
kidney stones (0.9286)
walrus ayn rand chris lydon nomos nomoi nomos nomoi nomos (0.9286)
waking up with what looks like a crime scene in your pants (0.9286)
buying fruit and not getting around to eating it before it spoils (0.9286)
when a stupid band does a cover of a song that becomes better known than the awesome original, and whenever you mention the song people assume you're talking about the crappy cover (0.9286)
having all of these half drawn figures that you really like, but not knowing what to do with them (0.9286)
being too ashamed about something to even vent anonymously (0.9286)
reading that one webcomic long after it stopped being funny (0.9286)
that hardly anyone on here takes the Index seriously, so all you find is things like licking dead people (0.9286)
not having that conversation (0.9286)
thinking of a frikkin' sweet regret, postponing adding it until you'd finished voting or commenting your current regret, then forgetting the regret you'd only recently concocted (0.9286)
watching a TV series online, then getting midway and being unable to find a working video anywhere on the web and not being able to carry on (0.9286)
assuming that lamenting about a problem precludes any action to solve that problem (0.9286)
falling awake (0.9286)
following the instructions for growing a tail, but instead summoning a miniature bigfoot who slashes at your ankles with a razor (0.9286)
letting the chips get soggy (0.9286)
throwing up into your own mouth and tasting it twice (0.9286)
leaving that personal ad about liking pina coladas & getting caught in the rain (0.9286)
accidentally washing your USB drive (0.9286)
waiting to let Obama jerk off (0.9286)
the slow death of the regret index (0.9286)
that soylent green isn't people in the book (0.9286)
regret index bromance (0.9286)
ever loaning anything to stupid fucking stoners (0.9286)
being in love with yourself and not loving yourself back (0.9286)
being so friggin' hungry you start to feel ill (0.9286)
that rumors of a Sailor Moon movie center around Lindsay Lohan and not Alexis Bledel, I mean duh (0.9286)
the Hypercritical Index (0.9286)
that there's a restaurant in Tokyo where you can watch girls poo and then eat it (0.9286)
not being against doing art for free, but being overwhelmed by the expectation of it, from businesses who can afford to pay, and people who make demands and pretty much say they will treat you like shit in return for nothing more than "portfolio building" (0.9286)
that a douchebag is a hygienic product and so I will take that as a compliment (0.9286)
being tired during the day and wide awake at night (0.9286)
realising that the girl you love probably was interested in you, but now it's too late (0.9286)
ugh, not putting more effort into it (0.9286)
constipation (0.9286)
not really being sure what happened to your sentence there (0.9286)
making a ridiculous sweeping generalization, then tacking 'to me' at the beginning of it (0.9286)
loaning your Magic Bullet to a fucking swan (0.9286)
seeing a little puppy waddle past the window and not rushing out of the restaurant, bill unpaid, to make sure it wasn't lost (0.9286)
experiencing a sudden, crippling burst of writer's block, possibly due to sleep deprivation (0.9286)
going through all the trouble of tracking and killing that sasquatch then slacking off and forgetting to zombify it (0.9286)
debating whether or not to go to bed before it is even dark out because you can't think of anything better to do (0.9286)
uninvited implosive bachelor (0.9286)
not knowing whether it would be better to respond to an email or to ignore it (0.9286)
hearing so much about how people fool themselves that you no longer feel able to authoritatively say anything about what you were or weren't thinking at a particular time (0.9286)
that employers can get away with writing job postings that pay no respect to spelling or grammar (0.9286)
misplacing your virginity and not being sure where you left it, though it was probably on the bus (0.9286)
being bored (0.9286)
making jokes in base thirteen (0.9286)
letting out a fart, but accidentally following through (0.9286)
the time you lost five pages of something because you didn't save often enough (0.9286)
the moment when your brakes lock and you slide towards the big truck (0.9286)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (0.9286)
watching The Time Traveler's Wife and the Babysitter and the Pizza Delivery Guy and Also a Couple of Black Guys (0.9286)
being very bad at explaining your worldview to people, causing them to think that you're pretentious and judgemental (0.9286)
that you've always just gotten involved in something that takes up all your atention, when your friend says goodnight and leaves the internet (0.9286)
not floozing more often (0.9286)
waking up just as it was about to be revealed (0.9286)
thinking of a good regret to add but when you finally go to add it having forgotten it (0.9286)
being too honest, or rather too bad at lying, to tell guys you're not attacracted to that you have a boyfriend, so they just keep talking at you anyway (0.9286)
seeing someone change their art because someone else went out of their way to find something to be offended by (0.9286)
that Michael Cera plays the same role in everything he is in (0.9286)
when something you intend to use just sits around sadly, reminding you of how lazy you are (0.9286)
not knowing if you have a boyfriend or just a boy who is going through all the motions (0.9286)
wrecking your own car (0.9286)
waiting until things are perfect, and since things are never perfect, never getting around to anything (0.9286)
that so many people are so stupid (0.9286)
lolcode (0.9286)
not telling off your condescending friends (0.9286)
having what is about two hundred dollars to your name (0.9286)
the long decline (0.9286)
losing that little bit of credibility for doing that one thing (0.9286)
liking the idea of the new Johnny Depp gangster video, but the trailers you've seen look like they were all shot on unlit digital video (0.9286)
po! po! po! po! popozao! popozao! (0.9286)
thinking of Kento as your token Asian friend (0.9286)
not building that giant robot when you had the chance (0.9273)
the sequel (0.9259)
never learning to parallel park and now that you live in a city, it's kind of an important skill (0.9250)
something you HAVE done (0.9245)
lying to her, leaving her, hurting her horribly, and then realizing you're still in love with her (0.9231)
doing that thing that you regret (0.9231)
shamelessly downloading music on your laptop for four years without any problems, but when you update Java on the same laptop that damned XP Antivirus malware slips through and nearly kills it (0.9231)
having to shave your moustache, despite being a chick (0.9231)
being mistaken for antisocial and so ending up with no friends, when really you're just incredibly shy (0.9231)
grumping up the place (0.9231)
falling down the stairs (0.9231)
failing to duck (0.9231)
actually, very nearly coming to terms with your body image as seen in mirrors and stuff, but still hating youself in almost every photograph you've ever been in (0.9231)
not actually being sure what you meant by "that scene", you guess you maybe meant the hanging out in public spaces with other people scene (0.9231)
dwelling on regret (0.9231)
watching Eragon OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit (0.9231)
getting eaten by a big fat cow that eats you (0.9231)
that, if you think about it, the plot of "The Time Traveler's Wife" kind of reinforces the stereotype that a woman should stay at home and have babies and patiently wait for the man who is out having adventures (0.9231)
getting no comments on your latest DA submission, because it isn't fanart, furry, or porn (0.9231)
domain hacks (0.9231)
only barely trying anymore, not trying at all when your clothes are on (0.9231)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (0.9231)
spending most of a night playing Lumines (0.9231)
only biking east (0.9231)
that the thrill is here but it won't last long (0.9231)
not sleeping enough (0.9231)
that your cat loves licking everything, such as the floor, the shower curtain, the box fan, and bottles of potentially dangerous chemicals if you don't put them away (0.9231)
that wine is not an emulator, only it is (0.9231)
that your cat wants to play fetch, which is all fine and good and kind of cute, but you're trying to type as she walks across the keyboard to drop her little twist tie right in front of you (0.9231)
THEY TOOK YER JOBS! (0.9231)
hearing a mix tape you thought was awesome but now realize was terrible (0.9231)
picking up that cat from the foreclosed home across the street because all it does is meow, constantly reminding you of your failures and shortcomings, like losing a house for example (0.9231)
being murdered (0.9231)
that most vegan food smells like an infected glans (0.9231)
what an enormous number of utterly crap Seth MacFarlane series somehow get greenlit for TV (0.9231)
making up statistics about fridge deaths, but not bothering to write them down and forgetting them (0.9231)
having contracted swine flu and now you can't stop oinking (0.9231)
wearing that LIVEstrong bracelet for six months straight (0.9231)
that you have some concerns about the way things are done at work, but you never say anything about it because you're convinced that no one's going to listen to you anyway (0.9231)
crappy busted ass Earthlink (0.9231)
that your roommate is home once again, and once again you wish they were elsewhere (0.9231)
traveling through time and accidentally materializing in the same spot as your past self (0.9231)
needing money to make money (0.9231)
haha, I really screwed that one up (0.9231)
needing a cash infusion, stat (0.9231)
not baing able to curl up into a ball to protect yourself from predators (0.9231)
being given the cold shoulder (0.9231)
stepping on your music player because you left it in your coat pocket and your coat on the floor (0.9231)
possibly leading someone you're not interested in on, as a result of your inability to be rude and truthful (0.9231)
culling the logical conclusion (0.9231)
spending way too much on groceries that will likely get all moldy and gross before you can reasonably use them (0.9231)
having a painful eye, as though there were an eyelash or something in it, but not seeing the culprit (0.9231)
finally meeting someone who was nice to you only to drive them off with your awful personality quirks (0.9231)
believing yourself so smart anyone who disagrees with you must be stupid, evil, or brainwashed (0.9231)
failing the life school of life (0.9231)
that you ate mayonnaise that was four months old and expired (0.9231)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (0.9231)
shows or other videos being offered for free on their official websites, but those website not working on your computer for some reasons, and you not being able to find less legit ways of watching said videos, because no one feels the need to repost them (0.9231)
failing to talk to someone due to embarassment (0.9231)
downloading video where the sound doesn't match the visual (0.9231)
being too afraid to tell your partner where you want your relationship to go, thus giving the impression that you don't know or don't care (0.9231)
not knowing how to accept a compliment (0.9231)
being a little in love with Egg Girl, you really need to spend less time online (0.9231)
your bionic left arm that wont let you type askfj iowu vn fhlsdkajf (0.9231)
being a hypocrite (0.9231)
your body wanting you to get pregnant every month, and tricking you into wanting to eat everything as a result, among other things (0.9231)
that you're probably pretty bad at interviews, but that's okay, since no one ever replies to your applications anyway (0.9231)
absorbing so much info earlier that now you can't seem to think right (0.9231)
thinking that you've gotten even stupider in the time the Index was down, I mean you remember making a lot of mistakes then, but now it's just crazy (0.9231)
mistaking the glowy sky demon for the flamey sky demon and calling all your friends while they were asleep (0.9231)
telling your best friend that you've been in love with her steady boyfriend for months (0.9231)
wanting to introduce your friends to the Regret Index, but since, as you regard it as the internet's backward turned optic nerve of enlightenment, and these people dwell near the darkened rim of its asshole, you feel it would be a bad match (0.9231)
not being able to make things right (0.9231)
Evony ads (0.9231)
that the tank thong combines the comfort of a tank top and the discomfort of a thong (0.9231)
the relentless grinding toil of wage slavery (0.9231)
this time around, being the person whp replied seriously to a joke, even though you had an inkling it was a joke, kind of (0.9231)
being woken repeatedly for no damn reason by someone or something irritating and trivial (0.9231)
that if Ryan doesn't periodically tweak the 'dex, you have no way to explain the occasional changes, like the regret lists on the sidebar suddenly changing, or that thing last year when commenting on regrets temporarily bumped them up the recent comments (0.9231)
not knowing where to price things you're selling, so that it's a fair price, maybe even skewed to your advantage, but not too expensive for people to buy it (0.9231)
that so many actresses have such generically beautiful faces, that it's difficult to even describe them in terms of features in a way that will differentiate them from other actresses (0.9231)
being betrayed by someone you thought you could look up to and admire (0.9231)
that you can't even express the flaws you find in that logic (0.9231)
hypergraphia (0.9231)
shitty advice (0.9231)
that putting diamonds on the soles of your shoes is totally impractical because nobody will see them and they'll just fall off anyway (0.9231)
wasting not, but still wanting (0.9231)
thinking that you're rebellious because you listen to hard rock and watch violent movies (0.9231)
only having boring DVDs to (0.9231)
speaking PUNjabi (0.9231)
that sometimes its hard to know which way you're supposed to go (0.9231)
not applying yourself to something you cared about (0.9231)
irregular bowels (0.9231)
people spitting on the pavement (0.9231)
that someone on the old regret index made a regret about a sex dream they had about you, but they never told you who they were (0.9231)
counting on someone you thought was your friend, only to realize they only like you when you're available (0.9219)
wussing out and NOT kissing that attractive girl (0.9200)
Not knowing exactly how to get to the results without voting, thus bumping up and down various regrets (0.9200)
living through a terrible event yourself, but still being unable to think of what to say when it happens to someone else (0.9200)
washing your plane ticket with your jeans and socks (0.9200)
not being able to finish anything you've ever started (0.9192)
not trusting your instincts (0.9189)
not knowing how to ask for help when you needed it most (0.9178)
not going to the bathroom before you left the house (0.9175)
bringing up a hypothesis to a friend who immediately dismisses it, only to have the same hypothesis repeated back to your months later, as it it were an original idea (0.9167)
not getting enough sleep (0.9167)
that there can't be just one Facebook app for all of these god damn quizzes, you mean you want to take some of the quizzes, but you don't want to add a new app every single time (0.9167)
people who leave stuff lying around in public places, like it's someone else's job to clean up after them, seriously (0.9167)
that your requited crush turned out, upon closer examination, to be a boring, self absorbed pain in the ass, and now the sticky problem of how to get rid of them without hurting their feelings (0.9167)
that Charlie Brown never gets to kick the damn football (0.9167)
regularly taking fish oil supplements (0.9167)
reading a book for the first time in which you discover several things which you had, a few months ago but several months after the book was out, written into an as of yet incomplete short story of yours, and now feeling like you've plagiarized (0.9167)
your game apparently freezing, and refusing to fix itself after several minutes (0.9167)
not using your handle when it comes to insulting musicians (0.9167)
that you tried to make a joke, but you bleu it (0.9167)
crying over a boy on the way home from school, only to have your aunt find out and tell your grandmother, who lectures you about it at work (0.9167)
empty, hollow gestures (0.9167)
not realising that action could be interpreted in that way, and being horrified, HORRIFIED (0.9167)
calling your boyfriend or girlfriend, just to say hi and tell them you miss them, but for some reason picking a fight instead (0.9167)
always wondering if things were ingrained in your personality since youth, or if they're a result of the grief you went through, and if you'll ever really get over that, because you keep trying and ending up in the same place (0.9167)
swatting that mosquito when you were wearing a white shirt and now you have a big blood stain on your sleeve (0.9167)
never having had cable, therefore having missed the Mystery Science Theater craze, you little pampered Anita (0.9167)
not wiping up that last trace of blood (0.9167)
agreeing to help that person with building their website (0.9167)
that the "asians" section on that porno site is full of pics of forty year old obese indians (0.9167)
needing a haircut and having a new, competent stylist you like, but really having no idea what you want to do with it (0.9167)
building an Ayn Randroid (0.9167)
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in Severe Ass Damage V (0.9167)
waking up to a high pitched chittering sound coming from outside your window (0.9167)
lending your favorite book and your favorite comic to your girlfriend of less than two months only to have her dump you and never give them back (0.9167)
that the killer what took me is entitilitis (0.9167)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (0.9167)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (0.9167)
that BAD sketch comedy has killed the parody (0.9167)
being scammed so repeatedly that it's become second habit to accept defeat as some sort of martyr's "victory" (0.9167)
really not getting the pony eye blowing regrets (0.9167)
recieving the wrong grade results and making life choices based on those, only to find out too late (0.9167)
that some silicone sister with her manager mister told you you got what it takes, she said she'd turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky breaks (0.9167)
middle aged men with fake tans, bleached blond hair, and pink nailpolish (0.9167)
being too afraid to ask you partner where your relationship is going in case they give an answer you don't want to hear (0.9167)
that female porn stars usually have faces well below average (0.9167)
breaking your Grandmother's wrist (0.9167)
waking up hungover and alone (0.9167)
another stupid network website using the stupid Move player that doesn't work for you (0.9167)
that I'm afraid the pretzels are no longer complimentary, Mr Bond (0.9167)
telling yourself you'll complete an assignment today since you have other things to do tomorrow but you're probably going to put it off until tomorrow anyway (0.9167)
Today's Sedentary Lifestyles (0.9167)
that you should have graduated college by now (0.9167)
how many shockingly attractive people turn out to be both really insecure messed up in the head freaks who needs lots of tlc, yet at the same time manage to be arrogant narcissistic meanies (0.9167)
the death of webcomics before their plot is completed (0.9167)
Bandwidth limits in Australia (0.9167)
Captain Jean Luke Skywalker (0.9167)
these bananas being shitty, s h i t t y (0.9167)
coming back only to find out that your craving for brains really gets in the way of forming a meaningful relationship (0.9167)
feeling iffy from lithium (0.9167)
freely using "ironically" when you mean "unfortunately" (0.9167)
that if you wash your clothes, you'll have to stay up for another hour to dry them, but if you don't you'll be stinky tomorrow (0.9167)
sweating (0.9167)
trying to read Moby Dick once, oh god (0.9167)
not being able to find that clitoris (0.9167)
that people are so bad at taking direction and piking up on visual cues (0.9167)
people who know a little music theory that fight over whether the major or minor scales are better, when both are just different ways of interpreting a single pitch class set (0.9167)
imagining that you must be exhausting to know (0.9167)
eating colon (0.9167)
having problems at home, but not being able to move out yet (0.9167)
buying Team Fortress Two for your girlfriend (0.9167)
that when you hit puberty and finally got your horns that they weren't the long cool black and twisted kind like Dad has, but the shorter goat kind (0.9167)
that you would get a tattoo, and you even know what it would be, if you could think of a place on your body that you liked enough to put it (0.9167)
the imminent return of spam to the regret index (0.9167)
falling in a bottomless pit (0.9167)
that you were going to buy that Tako piece that Agent FiftySeven made but you didn't because you couldn't (0.9167)
swans taking our jobs (0.9167)
the Humorless Bland Agreement Bandit (0.9167)
that it all seems like a stopgap (0.9167)
that nobody seems to realize the "people suck" attitude is self perpetuating, because by living that way you're just contributing to the overall selfishness of society (0.9167)
not smothering Sky Dayton with a Thetan infested modem when you had a chance (0.9167)
loving chocolate, only to find that it sometimes gives you migraines if you eat it (0.9167)
no one taking advantage of these excellent tatas (0.9167)
falling behind on emails, deviantart submissions, and bill payment (0.9167)
fucking ohio (0.9167)
locking your keys in the car while thinking to yourself that you're locking your keys in the car (0.9167)
regrets, perod (0.9167)
often saying things like "I'm pretty sure" when what you really mean is that you're completely and utterly certain (0.9167)
hearing thirty seconds of Kung Fu Panda through a closed door and deciding that not only do you not want to watch it, but that you never want to think "panda herpes" again (0.9167)
usually feeling like apologizing for your anxiety, but recently having been helped by your shrink to understand that it's not something that needs to be apologized for, although you still don't get this on a subconscious level (0.9167)
whining about regrets on the internet, where no one really gives a shit (0.9167)
that you make me feel like crying (0.9167)
catching a chronic but fairly minor disease while traveling (0.9167)
calling heads, but the sexy coin turned up tails (0.9167)
misuse of the word "epoch" (0.9167)
having no desire to sleep, but having an obligation to do so (0.9167)
that sometimes it feels like you will never be making enough money to break even, let alone actually get ahead (0.9167)
being so tired, but half waiting up expecting a phone call (0.9167)
bragging about being from West Virginia (0.9167)
accidentally using than instead of then (0.9167)
dying your blonde hair dark brown (0.9167)
not saving your game (0.9167)
,,, ,'' ,' ', ,,, (0.9167)
having to move out of uni accomodation, since oh god there's so much stuff to pack (0.9167)
having nothing to live for and no means to live with, but not wanting to die either (0.9167)
collapsing in on yourself with bitterness and solitude (0.9167)
being a jerky mcjerkface to the ones you love (0.9167)
sitting next to someone who really stinks on the bus (0.9167)
being sorta interested in trying a "beer float", except it seems like a terrible waste of both beer and ice cream (0.9167)
being a twit on Twitter (0.9167)
logging into Brian Peppers (0.9167)
breaking the pendants you are working on (0.9167)
not feeling qualified for most things, lately (0.9167)
insecurity (0.9167)
not knowing enough about writing, you feel, to know whether you've done it successfully (0.9167)
listening to the Sugababes (0.9167)
post nasal drip (0.9167)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (0.9167)
clumsy brains (0.9167)
being all shy for most of the year and as a result she is merely your good friend (0.9167)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, but never show it, not because it's part of their character but because the author or writers are too dumb (0.9167)
not minding your own bismuth (0.9167)
leaving the milk in the fridge too long (0.9167)
regrorts (0.9167)
not going to watch that grudge match between God and Satan, because seriously you guys, it was awesome (0.9167)
they literally had the poor bastard stuck in a corner with his back against the wall and sweat rolling down his face (0.9167)
Gwyneth Paltrow too (0.9167)
having blisters on your fingers (0.9167)
that five years ago you would have been thrilled to see a Tim Burton version of Alice, but now you feel it's just another movie with Johnny Depp in it (0.9167)
contracting swine flu from your piggy bank (0.9167)
buying a ridiculously expensive treadmill, only to have it sit unused in your garage (0.9167)
having all of the fun of a hangover without any of the fun of actually drinking the night before (0.9167)
going to college or uni and somehow managing to be the only person to not make any friends there (0.9167)
playing hungry angry achey puffy bleeding mess hippos with your ornery peach canning aunt when all you wanted was to play hungry hungry hippos instead (0.9167)
Candlejacking off (0.9167)
not being able to cross between the two worlds (0.9167)
thinking someone maybe likes you but you're probably wrong, you are an unlovable monster after all (0.9167)
not understanding what makes you so bad at this (0.9167)
having run out of regrets, then, paradoxically, realizing this is in itself a regret, oh tearful slope of sisyphean toil! (0.9167)
being horny but not having any suitable potential sex partners around (0.9167)
throwing away the amulet the old gypsy woman gave you for protection (0.9149)
writing poems you kind of like, but posting them on a nearly deserted livejournal, and then being scared of pointing them out to anyone because that might be obnoxious (0.9149)
not standing up for yourself (0.9149)
not making a back up (0.9149)
not knowing what to change your name to (0.9130)
spending the last of your money a week before payday (0.9130)
not being able to edit regrets in order to correct spelling and grammar (0.9130)
only learning to cut loose and have fun AFTER graduating college (0.9118)
failing to take hints (0.9109)
hot grits (0.9091)
losing your connections (0.9091)
two undernourished egos (0.9091)
fucking bastard sexists who come up with shit like "Man Law" (0.9091)
not making the city more welcoming to your friend who recently moved here and isn't liking it much, because you are too busy trying to figure out how to make a living, and being pretty miserable yourself (0.9091)
deciding not to do laundry and instead wear mildewy bloodstained underwear from your laundry pile (0.9091)
when a shitty band covers a great song, I'm looking at you My Chemical Romance (0.9091)
an angry bleeding mess of a swan (0.9091)
El Cisne Loco (0.9091)
lemon tree (0.9091)
not having regular internet access for more than a month because your laptop is screwed up (0.9091)
that even if your attempts at logic are nonsensical, they're still enough to persuade yourself (0.9091)
the treachery of images (0.9091)
the critic (0.9091)
getting into an "open relationship" (0.9091)
only asking her out when it was too late (0.9091)
being a little afraid to post about your goal of eating your way through every street fair this summer, as your metabolism not only makes you thin but apparently also insensitive to others not so freakish in the DNA department (0.9091)
dyeing in vein (0.9091)
that pop country western seems to have adopted cock rock's regrettable irritating swagger, only with pot bellies and redneckery (0.9091)
being a pretty lonely guy (0.9091)
only seeming to feel scared or motivated around three in the morning, when it seems impossible to do anything about it (0.9091)
meeting that Fall Out Boy (0.9091)
hank driving all the way to springfield to watch bart's peewee football game (0.9091)
being hoisted by your own petard (0.9091)
not seeming to be able to make the very, very small amount of money that you need to get by (0.9091)
your bad memory (0.9091)
being a little bored and lonely (0.9091)
not knowing what to say when you heard her mother had died, and therefore not calling her to see how she was doing (0.9091)
that emo kids and angsty teenagers have warped people's view of what depression really is (0.9091)
that you very nearly had the dative case down when your senior year of German ended, and you haven't taken any classes since (0.9091)
the regret index having no edit function (0.9091)
that you really can't believe that TV offer you just watched was a real thing, I mean really (0.9091)
that the only people you can really ask for advice are sleeping (0.9091)
using suicide preventatively rather than curatively (0.9091)
having a football shaped head (0.9091)
that having now learned about "synthetic knives" you may never leave the house again (0.9091)
finding the ANY key and then pressing it when you weren't specificially asked to (0.9091)
unintentional impulsive behavior (0.9091)
eating the little girl (0.9091)
never really knowing what happened (0.9091)
writing crappy dialogue (0.9091)
that once you get your scent on them, the mother won't take them back (0.9091)
asking out the cute waitress at your favorite restaurant, because she said no and now you can't go to your favorite restaurant anymore (0.9091)
signing up for that MMO game (0.9091)
having already run out of things to do by eight forty five on a Sunday morning (0.9091)
being pigeonholed (0.9091)
fanwank effecting the plot of your favorite show (0.9091)
misspelling "McClane" (0.9091)
the swan above the port, the color of television, tuned to a dead channel (0.9091)
that you would probably save a lot of money if you just rented one small keg a month (0.9091)
taking social cues from a number of movies and television shows in which the protagonists are obviously very interested in each other, but must never, no never, admit it to each other, anyone else, or sometimes even themselves (0.9091)
not being able to tell if you or the other person gave up on the friendship first (0.9091)
internet psychologists (0.9091)
spending thirty seven dollars plus tax on that Che Guevera tshirt (0.9091)
genital mutilation (0.9091)
that there hasn't been a president in more than a century that has had a vagina (0.9091)
selling your soul to the devil, retroactively erasing your entire marriage, to save the life of your elderly aunt who'll probably die in a year or two anyway (0.9091)
that at least the old Evony ads were slutty in a fantasy sort of way, these new ones aren't even trying (0.9091)
pressing the enter key instead of shift (0.9091)
having trouble seeing the point in trying, when you get no response (0.9091)
losing your first love, which happened to be a sweet vintage bike (0.9091)
having a rough nap (0.9091)
knowing that it'll take your whole damn life to make this right (0.9091)
SA no longer being readable by non members (0.9091)
the scariness of putting money down on an idea you're not sure will work out (0.9091)
adding a comment to the wrong regret (0.9091)
watching that video where a skinny guy sits down on like a three foot long dildo and you're all like "oh big deal it's just a camera trick, he just sat down in front of it" and then you can see it pushing around in his stomach and you want todie (0.9091)
that your sister owns all of the John Bellairs books you read growing up, so you can't just crack one open and start rereading it now (0.9091)
letting your keyboard get filthy (0.9091)
assuming that animal that looked like it was smiling was happy (0.9091)
cluttering Firefox with so many addons that, really, the browser portion of the window is so small as to be unuseable (0.9091)
the binbag splitting (0.9091)
wanting to comment one someone's old Facebook item or picture, but not doing it because you think that would be weird because secretly you're lookingat their old items and photos because you loooooooove them (0.9091)
being unemployed, and feeling unable to become employed (0.9091)
liking cloth (0.9091)
drawing that comet so that the tail pointed in the opposite direction of its motion rather than away from the sun (0.9091)
that assholes are such assholes (0.9091)
that you've gone from getting blown nightly to getting blown off, amirite (0.9091)
eating blubbery pancakes (0.9091)
Evony and Ibory (0.9091)
thinking that Michael Jackson's skin color transition from black to white was something he did on purpose, only to discover later that it was due to a rare skin disease which destroyed the pigment in his skin (0.9091)
having a shit ton of stuff to do on the computer at just the time your skin feels like its itching off your face, the ambient noise of the room is howling in your ears and you could probably run to Milwaukee and back without breaking a sweat, srsly (0.9091)
people asking "how was your weekend" when you worked both Saturday and Sunday, and it wasn't really a weekend (0.9091)
getting a pet that doesn't like you back (0.9091)
despising someone, except for with your penis (0.9091)
that there is (0.9091)
forgetting which day your final exam is and subsequently missing it (0.9091)
not trying to make everyone feel bad for you, which you think it probably seems like, just not being able to keep the anxiety inside, because then it gets even worse (0.9091)
coming home early, being bored, rediscovering Nanosaur Two on your computer (0.9091)
Ron Tario (0.9091)
having gaps in your CV (0.9091)
reading "ekranoplans" as "electroplankton" or "ekans" as in the pokemon also snake backwards (0.9091)
sinking time (0.9091)
being too tired to write (0.9091)
being a cyberbully (0.9091)
that fanwikis are destined to fail because anyone who spends enough time on the computer to contribute to them has the social skills of a brain damaged baboon (0.9091)
eating so much rubbish (0.9091)
having actually liked BonziBuddy back in the day until you realized it was spyware (0.9091)
not knowing morse code by ,,,, , ,' ,', ' (0.9091)
getting so annoyed with yourself for the mopey pessimism, but just getting mopier and more pessimistic as a result (0.9091)
not making it clear to her that NO WE ARE NOT FRIENDS AND NEVER WILL BE (0.9091)
that The goggles do nothing! (0.9091)
the familiar sound of your cat vomiting in the next room (0.9091)
Kanye West (0.9091)
sending someone a couple of instant messages, only to have them sign off a few minutes later without even replying (0.9091)
making mistakes (0.9091)
the bad taste in music of people in convertibles sitting at a nearby traffic light (0.9067)
receiving a fortune cookie containing no fortune at a restaurant (0.9063)
burning the tomato sauce that you canned and have been eating all year (0.9048)
being unable to think of indecent comebacks (0.9048)
liking video fighting games, the two dimensional kind, but never making any friends to play them with (0.9048)
that your love of synching video to music in interesting or inappropriate ways clashes with your hate of searching for a legitamate clip on Youtube and getting a hundred fan made music videos featuring Evanescence songs back instead (0.9048)
debt (0.9048)
forgetting to check for typos (0.9048)
breaking her trust (0.9048)
waking up earlier than usual, but then dicking around so you'll probably still be late to work (0.9048)
veneral diseases (0.9048)
that countries will enter a war without first setting definite goals and definite plans as to how to accomplish them (0.9048)
that this thing doesn't cycle through all of the regrets when you're on a voting roll and you keep voting on the same ones over and over again (0.9045)
that people don't laugh at your jokes, but they do laugh at your serious suggestions (0.9024)
not putting away a small amount of money every month since I started working (0.9024)
making mountains out of molehills (0.9000)
being depressed over your failure to achieve something that was implausible anyway (0.9000)
being unable to talk to people unless you have a "good" reason to (0.9000)
mildewy (0.9000)
not being able to figure out if you are depressed (0.9000)
not realizing that underneath all that shit, he just wanted help (0.9000)
feeling sleepy for the first time in months on a night when you should stay up to get some work done (0.9000)
tripping and falling into Kento's GAPING ASSHOLE (0.9000)
Eating way too much because if its gonna cost that much you're going to get your fill (0.9000)
running late (0.9000)
being so screwed up by the past that you never give love a chance (0.9000)
finding every interaction with this one person to be delightful, but not taking any action (0.9000)
assuming it was obvious (0.8989)
drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth (0.8986)
not running fast enough (0.8980)
being shy (0.8974)
telling a joke you hadn't thought all the way through (0.8970)
having no friends in the city where you live and turning to this site for some semblance of social intercourse (0.8966)
breaking your resolve (0.8966)
having rich inner monologues that melt away as soon as you begin to write (0.8966)
getting so awkward when you're caught off your guard (0.8966)
forgetting passwords (0.8966)
not saying at least "hello" (0.8963)
that you didn't take more pictures (0.8958)
that the good times are over (0.8958)
allowing xkcd to become unfunny (0.8947)
bad speling and grammer (0.8947)
not kissing people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.8947)
that the person who did your job before you had no filing abilities and you have to spend so much of your time sifting through randomly named files all the time and the system (0.8947)
learning your best friend was a closet furry (0.8947)
losing what little nerve you had (0.8947)
not shaving your legs ever, but shaving your pubes for someone once, leading you to look mangy (0.8947)
stepping on gum (0.8947)
regrets written in the first person (0.8947)
letting him break your heart again (0.8947)
being to poor to build your own robot butler (0.8947)
being born too late for tall ships, and too early for space ships (0.8947)
an hero lolwut facepalmjpg (0.8947)
wrongeous anger (0.8936)
drying yourself with a mildewy towel (0.8929)
abandoning your values (0.8929)
confusing your horniness for loneliness (0.8929)
calling someone by the wrong name in front of all their friends (0.8923)
not making your move when you had the chance (0.8922)
going through too much bullshit just to mess with the wrong person for you (0.8913)
staying in that dead end job because it required less work than following your dream (0.8901)
not backing up my data (0.8897)
not tightening the lug nuts (0.8889)
not being good at self promotion (0.8889)
losing touch with old friends (0.8889)
jokes with friends (0.8889)
cashing in a winning scratch off ticket just to buy some losing ones (0.8889)
strangers telling you to 'cheer up' and smile when you weren't even aware of being anything less than fine (0.8889)
that Captain K'nuckles is a dick (0.8889)
anaphylactic shock (0.8889)
having the same cough for six months (0.8889)
hating yourself (0.8889)
waking up tired everyday (0.8889)
telling your ex girlfriend you loved someone else for a mojority of your relationship, then wanting to get back with her (0.8889)
not turning back to look at her one last time before leaving her life forever (0.8889)
making mistkakes (0.8889)
being expected not to offend anyone else, ever (0.8889)
misuse of apostrophe's (0.8889)
misspelling you're as your (0.8889)
not learning how to change a tire (0.8889)
contractual obligations (0.8889)
orphaned puppies with a hurt paw crying alone in the rain (0.8889)
hunting the wumpus to extinction (0.8889)
not knowing what to eat, and ending up eating nothing (0.8889)
that monocles and top hats are not in style (0.8889)
risking going for a poop despite the small amount of toilet paper and then running out before youre done (0.8883)
hardly ever taking the dog for a walk (0.8871)
making a costly mistake (0.8870)
getting fat (0.8857)
not letting the dog out to pee (0.8857)
lending that rare comic to your sister's boyfriend just before they broke up and you never saw him again (0.8857)
being so careless your scoop of ice cream fell off the cone onto the hot pavement (0.8846)
not figuring out what you want (0.8846)
not taking backups (0.8846)
putting of that dentist appointment until it was too late (0.8846)
not telling the person you have a crush on that you like them, and when you finally worked up the courage, they're dating someone else (0.8846)
catching robot flu by going to that sleazy robot strip club (0.8846)
not sleeping AND not getting the homework done (0.8842)
not hooking up with Ryan (0.8840)
always starting to hate yourself whenever you suspect that anyone else has an opinion of you, whether that opinion be good or bad (0.8837)
leaving mould in a mug for so long that when you finally got round to washing it, it sprayed a blue cloud around the kitchen on contact with water and made you sneeze (0.8837)
staying with an abusive boyfriend (0.8837)
eatting undercooked eggs (0.8824)
being afraid that when you do stop being scared of other people, you will settle for a relationship you're not that into, out of low self worth (0.8824)
making an unintentional typo when you were trying to make an intentional typo (0.8824)
being THAT guy (0.8824)
a lack of clarity in your regrets (0.8824)
not making more of an outcry about bad things that are happening (0.8824)
that subscription to US weekly (0.8824)
having a bunch of books you absolutely love, but losing your nerve when it comes to recommending them to others (0.8824)
dropping out of school for a girl (0.8824)
that you are literally fucktarded (0.8824)
when someone lives up to their stereotype (0.8824)
The Assassination of Jessie and James by the Coward Ash Ketchum (0.8824)
that Zorro stole all your zzzzz's, now you'll be awake all night (0.8824)
not going to the doctors sooner (0.8824)
hurting the only person who loved you because you were afraid of getting too close (0.8824)
reading a book in two days, because it was really good, but probably not being able to remember any of it a month after as a result (0.8824)
not buying supplies before the dungeon run (0.8824)
starting a business with loans from your friends (0.8824)
loneliness that can only be consoled with regret (0.8824)
the assholish way that vegans get when you tell them you like tofu, as if it belongs to them and you're not allowed to eat it (0.8824)
saying you could start at your job earlier than they expected, then remembering later that you planned to visit your boyfriend that weekend (0.8824)
still not knowing what you want to be when you grow up (0.8824)
needing a shower in the warst way (0.8824)
hitting that wasp, but not hard enough, so it comes back and stings you (0.8824)
trying to get along with someone, even though their idea of conversation is a running critique of everything you do, like, and believe (0.8824)
the absense of established customs and mores for online interaction (0.8824)
not starting in your new sketchbook because you're afraid you'll mess up tremendously on the first page (0.8824)
your lack of telekinesis (0.8810)
thinking someone is talking to you when they're actually talking to the person behind you (0.8806)
your feet, they're cold (0.8800)
touching your eye after cutting hot peppers (0.8800)
people blaming their own faults on you (0.8800)
homeowners associations (0.8800)
liking an artist but not participating in the fandom so you don"t know what kind of stereotypes are attached to it (0.8800)
that the trend of regrets that don't make sense with 'how much can you expect to regret' has returned (0.8800)
not having any self esteem (0.8800)
innocent actions being misconstrued by others as sexual advances (0.8800)
failing to see the signs (0.8794)
the Twilight books (0.8785)
leaving coffee for a week in your thermos (0.8780)
that typo you will never be able to fix (0.8780)
something you HAVEN'T done (0.8780)
living a life dictated by your phobias instead of your desires (0.8774)
giving someone more attention than they deserved (0.8767)
staying in relationships even after finding out the truth (0.8767)
failing to notice that the sad girl you just passed was actually a damsel in distress, and you didn't help her (0.8765)
not looking both ways before you cross the street (0.8750)
finding out your cat is of the non yodeling variety (0.8750)
that it's no longer cool to call the Internet "the tubes" (0.8750)
that even though you know how to pronounce bass as in bass guitar, when you see it in writing you always automatically think bass, as in a type of fish (0.8750)
that there is nothing fair in this world, babe (0.8750)
moving to kuwait (0.8750)
finding a living six inch long centipede in your toilet (0.8750)
showing that person you were hoping would be a new friend something stupid because you thought they would appreciate it, only no one would because your interests are dumb (0.8750)
that the DS has become a haven for shovelware (0.8750)
that clinging to the past hinders you from embracing the present, the old Regret Index is dead, long live the Regret Index (0.8750)
thinking it would be way more punk to get a hott pink "Hello Kitty" Squier copy of a Strat than to get another Gibson SG, but being unsure whether wooable girls will see the post punk transgressive humor or your artfully ironic act of overthinking things (0.8750)
making typos (0.8750)
not being sure if the same kid just passed you three times, or if there are triplets afoot (0.8750)
realising you've ran out of toilet paper after you've already finished (0.8750)
not having a miniature pet Utahraptor (0.8750)
world hunger (0.8750)
wasting your life (0.8750)
winning a pyrrhic victory (0.8750)
dying from food inhalation (0.8750)
the incident (0.8750)
fighting between the feeling that you're not ready, and the feeling that you're running out of time (0.8750)
neglecting your oral hygiene (0.8750)
people who make assertions without citing evidence or examples to back up said assertions, a sure sign of a narcissistic personality disorder, the other sign being vehement denial of said disorder followed by attack or ridicule of diagnosis tenderer (0.8750)
fried pickles (0.8750)
adding Roshan Patel to your Facebook friends (0.8750)
letting your ex have your Dreamcast (0.8750)
having itchy gums (0.8750)
having too much work or not enough (0.8750)
drying yourself after a shower with a mildewy towel (0.8750)
not knowing what you did wrong (0.8750)
May not being a fun month for you (0.8750)
moving into that apartment that was infested with bedbugs (0.8750)
spelling gauge wrong (0.8750)
not trying more things when you were younger now that you know being in trouble is a fake idea (0.8750)
crotchrot (0.8750)
buying your first car, then immediately getting in your first car accident (0.8750)
Facebook applications (0.8732)
entering pointless religious debates that serve only to make both sides really irritated (0.8730)
taking the hugest dump (0.8727)
Hitler's taking direct control of the German military (0.8723)
hannah montana (0.8723)
being asked for important advice and not being able to give it (0.8710)
not having hands for feet and also a tail (0.8710)
waiting too long to let go of your feelings (0.8710)
mistaking tears for repudiation of the rumours involving her kissing someone else (0.8710)
not asking your health insurance company how much an expensive dental procedure would cost before doing it (0.8710)
telling my roommate who plays his guitar all the time that I am really laid back and I love hearing music all the time (0.8696)
not seizing the moment (0.8696)
flashing the dog, then finding out your dad saw you (0.8696)
losing two portable music devices in less than two months (0.8696)
not being sure you used a word right (0.8696)
forgetting just what the things were you used to enjoy so much (0.8696)
being born too late for tall ships and too early for spaceships (0.8696)
awfulness (0.8696)
indecent exposure which does not result in the erotic frenzy that you had anticipated (0.8696)
imagining how painful a hangnail would be if it rimmed the tip of your urethra (0.8696)
being a dick (0.8696)
having a friend who is just nice enough to keep you around, but when it comes right down to it, if you ask her for some favor in return for yours, she just utterly sucks (0.8696)
not checking the toilet seat first (0.8690)
not finding more time to read (0.8686)
spending all day surfing the Internet instead of writing or drawing or whatever it is you do creatively (0.8684)
games that you never finished and have long since lost (0.8684)
not doing the thing you deliberately said you would (0.8684)
staying with the douche because you were too lazy to get out (0.8679)
that the only thing separating grad school from grade school is e (0.8667)
mispronouncing that fancy word (0.8667)
neofolk (0.8667)
ever watching The View (0.8667)
when your toaster wets the bed (0.8667)
not helping that injured bird you saw (0.8667)
dropping out of highschool (0.8667)
that you aren't not doing nothing never even though you aren't not anywhere special (0.8667)
that there still people alive in two thousand ten who believe the White Stripes were good (0.8667)
knowing where you want your relationship to go but not having the balls to ask or talk to your partner about such (0.8667)
staying in a problematic relationship for the sake of your children (0.8667)
not being one of those people who really finds it unfair that the other person doesn't make the first move, knowing that you are the cause of most of your problems, but still preferring the neutral position (0.8667)
staying with someone you didn't love (0.8667)
trying to do something in a bit of a hurry on a website that is extremely slow today (0.8667)
what an enormous number of utterly crap films somehow get greenlit for screen (0.8667)
asking "hey, how's your dog," forgetting that her dog just tragically died (0.8667)
that when people list regulars, you're hardly ever on the list (0.8667)
that in recommending something to someone, you mentally pick out all of the things that they might not like about it, which in turn tarnishes your enjoyment of it a little (0.8667)
barf (0.8667)
feeling sick when it's really nice outside (0.8667)
three am, when doctors say the body's at low tide, the soul is out, the blood moves slow, you're the nearest to death you'll ever be save dying, sleep is a patch of death, but three in the morn, full wide eyed staring, is living death! (0.8667)
being so exhausted you can hardly keep your eyes open, for no good reason (0.8667)
screwing up the grumblecakes caper (0.8667)
that, specifically, you want to know if it's proper to say "took an object from out the container it was in" or if you have to say "out of the container" (0.8667)
that it's nearly eleven again, sigh (0.8667)
being sleepy (0.8667)
falling asleep while cooking with the stove (0.8667)
the UK not having free speech (0.8667)
Beatallica (0.8667)
that your academic plans are GONE (0.8667)
eating something that when eaten would result in the inability to post regrets that begin with "eating" (0.8667)
guessing you should probably give up on your dream for another year (0.8667)
imagining that there's a cafe somewhere where all the american apparel models hang out and talk about philosophy and indie music, and the girls hang out with their nipples poking through their shirts and their drugged up expressions (0.8667)
the way passport photos highlight every blemish and imperfection (0.8667)
beating that final stage, only to realize the basic emptiness of the electronic experience (0.8667)
puke (0.8667)
not closing your window, though you're quite cold (0.8667)
implementing synergies to verticalize your platforms (0.8667)
lacking the courage to tell somebody how you really felt (0.8659)
not telling a person how special they were to you (0.8654)
using the wrong tense (0.8654)
going back on your word (0.8649)
losing that irreplacable item (0.8644)
Trying to eat chili straight from the pot with a ladel, and just spilling it all over your shirt (0.8636)
wasting time on the internet waiting for an email you might never get (0.8636)
not taking a spare (0.8636)
being unable to tell (0.8636)
republicants (0.8636)
having either a knack for lulzy old timey jokes, postmodern merriment and general bonhomie, or wallowing in a fathomless dark hole of self abuse and hollow hearted self loathing, with no in between (0.8636)
searching frantically for something that ended up being in your pocket the whole time (0.8636)
not leaving him before he became a judgemental prick (0.8636)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, so the author feels obligated to construct situations to show off that genius, yet the situations are so contrived and unrealistic that they could only exist in fiction (0.8636)
offering tech support for family members (0.8636)
it taking so long to remember words (0.8636)
finding yet another way to rehash past mistakes (0.8618)
that you were born too late for tall ships, and too early for spaceships (0.8611)
being so lazy you refrained from cleaning up the dead insects on your kitchen and bathroom floors (0.8611)
answering a question without thinking about it first (0.8607)
not having met ryan north (0.8601)
sounding like a pretentious twit in your comments despite not meaning to (0.8600)
getting lyrics wrong in a lyric regret (0.8571)
destroying something expensive because you can't control your damned temper (0.8571)
that nobody seems to realize nihilists make the best RPG villains, case in point Kefka (0.8571)
how few people realize that Hitchcock's "Dial M for Murder" was shot in three dee (0.8571)
that the smell behind your ears smells kind of like cheese (0.8571)
dissociating (0.8571)
turning on the wrong burner and setting your cookbook on fire (0.8571)
having to wake up before noon (0.8571)
that no one votes on these anymore (0.8571)
not getting enouhg sleep because you stayed up late on the internet for no reason (0.8571)
your habit of leaving lettrs and sometimes whole out when typing things (0.8571)
Pulling all the legs off that Grandaddy long leg (0.8571)
writing a kind of excellent cover letter for a job you're not one hundred percent sure you want (0.8571)
that one linguistics problem (0.8571)
making a promise you couldn't keep (0.8571)
being afraid to live up to your full potentia (0.8571)
saving the world by turning it invisible (0.8571)
excessive asparatame consumption (0.8571)
the orange burny thing make face burn ARRGH (0.8571)
that the sky is full of dreams, but you don't know how to fly (0.8571)
being geeky enough, but not hot enough, for cosplay (0.8571)
lacking situations where you can say "rue the day" (0.8571)
that the Jack the Ripper case is still unsolved (0.8571)
really believing that it's not how you look that's keeping you from a relationship, but you own fears, which somehow makes it even harder (0.8571)
that papercut (0.8571)
being woken up early the one day you get to have a lie in (0.8571)
tucking your dress into your hose (0.8571)
being the last of your kind except for, coincidentally, your greatest enemy (0.8571)
pretending the molestation never happened (0.8571)
eating too much too often (0.8571)
taking forever to get back to someone about a project that only takes five minutes for you to do (0.8571)
not having any idea whether you cover letters and portfolio are effective at all, or even reaching anyone (0.8571)
making an obvious, undisputable statement, then tacking "in my opinion" at the end of it (0.8571)
not discovering the Amazing Regret Index sooner (0.8571)
being far more confident or gregarious via the internet or in writing than you are in person (0.8571)
letting all that isn't limited to the ground come into your home (0.8571)
living on the most isolated and boring campus ever (0.8571)
that the grammer champeen been chosed unfairly (0.8571)
not being able to tell if an idea is awesome or terrible (0.8571)
not leaving work before it started raining blood (0.8571)
having an OKcupid account you loser (0.8571)
sleeping in fergie after forgetting to wipe Mindless Self Indulgence (0.8571)
finding only yoga listings for "healing, breathing, compassionate and gentle" yoga, where's my "fire eyed punk rock shit blood and chew glass" yoga (0.8571)
tripping on DDR (0.8571)

bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]