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recent regrets

Steamed Hams but Chalmers is Everywhere
bottoming for Scooby Doo, Air Bud, and Max in Three Dog Night
doing one
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
CategoryColonIsraeli psychics
fuck marry kill, Ross Geller, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Uri Geller
fuck marry kill, Metasepia pfefferi, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kim Basinger
taxes in Tejas
Colon Frank Lloyd Wright
Chris Lydon, Colon Shower
Chris Lydon, Colon Grower
'You Are Sucking Us Dry' Colon Growers Descend on Supervisors Meeting to Protest Cannabis Fees, Taxes
Metasepia pfefferi
sounds good, do you want the front or the back
wanting to make Kento a Chinese finger trap for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a Japanese Mouse Trap for his birthday
Japanese muscles
Japanese cockles
Schweppes
signed, you know who
[ show all 134403 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) the way that Chris Lydon always says "that'll do, pig, that'll do" to you after you have sex
(3) adopting a special needs child
(2) not hooking up with the mohel when you had the chance
(2) wanting to make Kento spontaneously combust for his birthday
(1) just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a blow job
(3) that the rachel is back, and she's reading all the regrets
(1) An American says she fell asleep with a headache and woke up with a British accent, cheerio
(1) Toook x Croog
(1) wondering how you feel about pony slash recipe incest
(2) wondering how you feel about father slash son incest
[ show more ]

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top regrets

shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
having something you've cherished since late middle school wrenched from your hands (1.0000)
waking up earlier than you normally would on a weekend, but not doing anything with your extra time (1.0000)
ratma (1.0000)
that the hr wiki needs a thousand and seven hundred dollars (1.0000)
your plumed, tusked beak, with which to husk the meek, your countenance appals us, behold! the hideous swalrus (1.0000)
fucking that chunky girl (1.0000)
just having another thing to hate yourself for (1.0000)
not being able to use a star to abbreviate Homestar Runner with the Regret Index syntax (1.0000)
being exhausted at a late hour, but still having several things you feel you should do or at least would like to (1.0000)
Custer's revenge (1.0000)
pewdiepie (1.0000)
all I see is an Eiffel Tower of reams, real cum burstin' out of every seam (1.0000)
the Leprechaun violently emerges from Kowalski's penis when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine (1.0000)
how sore and puffy your breasts are (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
swan swan stupid stupid swan crappy regret swan swan swan blah blah blah meating cumguzzling blah blah blah swan swan Kento swan blah blah swan (1.0000)
the clone wars (1.0000)
white people wearing shirts with Asian characters they don't understand on them (1.0000)
forgetting to feed your klinoppe (1.0000)
Scientology (1.0000)
hearing your parents talk about sex they have with their partners (1.0000)
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about it (1.0000)
butte snows (1.0000)
spam fritters (1.0000)
listening to Chinese Japanese English hip hop (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
Kento (0.9993)
gangnam style (0.9982)
Fifty Shades of Grey (0.9906)
Sonny John Moore (0.9847)
leaving the remains of that totally awesome chocolate bar you bought earlier in your car in the summer (0.9804)
the "hey guys, remember Jaylala" regret being on the top regrets list (0.9795)
meeting Brian Peppers (0.9789)
realizing too late (0.9785)
having sex with Arthur Yehezkia (0.9737)
that Ryan is an inconsiderate jerk (0.9730)
only remembering hours later that you should have asked how HER day was (0.9714)
hey guys, remember Jaylala (0.9706)
letting the mildew get that bad (0.9683)
regardless, not knowing how to fly (0.9677)
that according to Wikipedia, Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid television writer and producer in history (0.9672)
spooning Jaylala's boobs (0.9667)
not telling her how you really feel (0.9667)
discovering in hindsight that you've been carting around the paranoia of a crappy high school relationship for years, leading you to act like everyone's going to hate you and call you a latent criminal, whereas in fact people trust and like you (0.9655)
looking a gift horse in the mouth (0.9643)
not asking her out before she left forever (0.9643)
leaving your passport in your pocket before doing the laundry (0.9643)
telling him to go away when really you wanted him to hold you in his arms and make everything okay (0.9630)
forgetting to reply to correspondence (0.9630)
joining the military (0.9623)
not visiting a place that intrigued you before it closed or was demolished (0.9620)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9615)
That there are no dashes on here, and therefore no good way to spell that oh so important Ryan alter ego T rex (0.9600)
coming up with the perfect comeback, but only when it's far too late to use it (0.9600)
really wanting to see some movies back when they were in the theater, and still not having seen them now that they are way past being on DVDstill having not seen (0.9583)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9583)
staying on the Internet until the sun rises again, even though you have school or work in the morning (0.9583)
spray on tans (0.9583)
feeling kind of weird that all of the sudden you have such a strong interest in finding someone who could have easily just emailed you had she wanted to (0.9583)
Horatio (0.9583)
not being able to get up the courage (0.9583)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9583)
giving your email to that sketchy website (0.9574)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9565)
not being sure where in your room that rotten food smell suddenly started coming from (0.9545)
that your father asked you to help him find an external harddrive to store his porn collection (0.9545)
assuming people on the internet would know when you were joking (0.9545)
delicious foods that are far too hot to eat, ands arren't cooling down fast enough (0.9545)
not getting the reference (0.9545)
that your adolescence was stolen from you by depression (0.9524)
consuming Hardee's products (0.9524)
eating part of the sandwich before spotting the mold (0.9524)
oh my god, when did you stop being able to use the proper "too", it's late, you should maybe consider sleeping (0.9524)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9524)
blah blah blah angst angst blah blah (0.9524)
leaving the burner on (0.9524)
teh sneeze that revealed your presence (0.9524)
only having crushes where you've resigned yourself to the fact that they will never work out (0.9500)
telling her you loved her that one time t new years eve when you should just have kissed her instead (0.9500)
trying to make your calculator say OBOESHOES but failing because you can't fit the ninth digitletter (0.9500)
that you started using IDK, BB, DIAF and the like ironically, but they've just kind of stuck (0.9500)
the touchpad on your laptop causing all sorts of weird typos (0.9500)
having no food (0.9500)
swearing at really, really, really inappropriate times (0.9500)
starting watching that epsiode of that show now, when you probably have ten minutes before you have to pack up and head home (0.9500)
not learning more languages while your brain still could (0.9487)
being the whole bag in one sitting (0.9474)
Gorean "philosophy" (0.9474)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of the ith prime to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.9474)
agreeing to work another person's shift during the airdate of the finale of the only show you actually watch on television anymore, because it was early and they took you off guard (0.9474)
chewing on the inside of your mouth (0.9474)
trying to use ebay to gague how much an item is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars (0.9474)
mistakenly typing, for the first time every in your language nazi LIFE, the word "your" instead of "you're" in a very public forum, such as the Regret Index, for instance (0.9474)
going to the moon and not bringing any chicks (0.9474)
trying to get your working life back on track, but instead just losing track of everything that makes you happy (0.9474)
used the wrong verb form (0.9474)
unintentionally leading on a good friend (0.9474)
not knowing if acquaintances pity you, hate you, or think you're a pretty cool person (0.9474)
knowing that you have to stepp things up and puut more effort in, but just really not having a good time with motivation right now (0.9474)
not being aware there was an eclipse to see (0.9474)
signing up to receive MoveOn's email newsletters (0.9474)
sliding down a very rusty and dirty slide (0.9474)
not proofreading a comment before posting it and realizing you can't edit the mistake (0.9459)
missing your chance (0.9459)
losing your mind a little, just enough to be aware of it, but not completely enough to have loco bananas fun with it (0.9444)
working rather than time traveling (0.9444)
great quotes that don't work so well in text format (0.9444)
that commenting on an old regret with comments already on it doesn't bump said regret to the top of the "recent comments" list, making "recent" a misuse of the word (0.9444)
that apparently you're not leaving an impression on even your friends anymore (0.9444)
processed foods being so much cheaper than fresh and unprepared food (0.9444)
having the ability to finish a videogame that is nothing more than a grindfest but not being able to do anything productive (0.9444)
always choking down whatever feelings, beliefs and goals people attribute to you on the grounds that it's not like you can produce evidence to argue with (0.9444)
waiting until the last moment (0.9444)
getting up early just to meet someone, who then doesn't turn up (0.9444)
spending ten minutes to make coffee this morning and forgetting to drink it (0.9444)
giving her a second chance, only to have it dashed and crushed in a fiery dazzle of emotions and pain (0.9444)
meeting Brian Peppers Kento (0.9444)
nurrr having the dumb (0.9444)
never getting to plow you, never getting to plow all about you, never getting to ride you, never getting to hope you ride me (0.9444)
not correctly conjugating your damn regret (0.9444)
John Grisham's "The View" (0.9444)
being unable to concentrate long enough to finish ONE PAGE of ANY book in a single sitting, let alone a whole book (0.9444)
the number nine (0.9444)
Contemporary Christian Music (0.9444)
only having time for a half a minute (0.9444)
not knowing the appropriate number of times to call someone without them calling you back, when they call you back one time out of four, so maybe it's a hint or maybe she's socially careless (0.9444)
that your name is "inherently funny" instead of being "inherently badass" (0.9444)
furries giving regular old surreal animal headed figures a bad name (0.9444)
forgetting to take the money dispensed out of the cash machine (0.9434)
failing to maintain a creative skill because you were too shy to show anyone your work (0.9429)
knowing that you could have phrased that sentence more elegantly and it will haunt you forever (0.9429)
yelling at someone who didn't deserve it (0.9423)
being tense and nervous and you can't relax (0.9412)
watching The Hills (0.9412)
not getting enough sleep last night, and history repeating itself tonight (0.9412)
boring season finales (0.9412)
having a moron for a landlord (0.9412)
that due to serverlag and games never finishing brokenpicturetelephone dot com has become the worst possible execution of the best possible idea (0.9412)
having to wade through a ton of retarded regrets before you find something worth voting on (0.9412)
being friendless, leaving you with nobody to ask to record your favorite show (0.9412)
leaving your first real relationship to your henchmen instead of spending more time on it yourself (0.9412)
telling yourself two hours ago that you were going to go outside and paint or something (0.9412)
not being a bad enough dude (0.9412)
not being able to email pancakes to other people (0.9412)
playing furcadia (0.9412)
watching Grey's Anatomy (0.9412)
snaring yourself in your own web of lies (0.9412)
giving yourself one thing to do all day and not doing it (0.9412)
synaptic misfires (0.9412)
being that really old meat (0.9412)
not being able to think of decent comebacks (0.9412)
waking up from a good dream and instantly forgetting what it was about (0.9412)
letting a fart slip and then realizing you just shit your pants a little (0.9412)
that the only quality reading time you get anymore is while you are in the bathroom (0.9412)
not knowing what love means (0.9412)
not knowing which is more smug, a swan or a canadian goose (0.9412)
having nothing, I mean literally absolutely fucking nothing, to do (0.9412)
not being able to tell people to fuck off in business correspondence, without consequences (0.9412)
seeing so many idiots putting so much effort into being offended by things that are not even mildly offensive just because they crave attention or validation and they refuse to end themselves (0.9412)
having thought of something that must be added to your story, but forgetting before next you work on it what it was (0.9412)
forgetting the awesome regret you were about to add (0.9412)
not realizing you misspelled a regret before submitting it so all the comments on it end up being about the error instead of the actual regret (0.9412)
not being able to think of any food to make from the stuff you have on hand (0.9403)
playing one of your favorite songs so many times it ceases to be special (0.9394)
taking out your anger on everyone but the person who caused it (0.9389)
saying something stupid in an attempt to impress a hero with your wit and whimsy (0.9381)
realizing too late he or she wasn't just being friendly, that it was flirting (0.9379)
forgetting that piece of chocolate on your poket so when you put your hand back in you find it almost melt (0.9375)
those other three Tremors movies (0.9375)
following that link even though you knew vaguely what it led to (0.9375)
crying like a baby at the end of a DVD series, but at the moment barely having a life of your own (0.9375)
not being able to play Zelda I like it's the first time (0.9375)
unfounded suspicions (0.9375)
that your housemate is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really have to pee (0.9375)
never teling her you've been crazy about her since you met (0.9375)
not studying for my exam, and not shoeing up to a single lecture all year (0.9375)
having an unhappy friend who doesn't bring up directly what they're unhappy about, and not being sure how to make them feel better or if it's possible at all (0.9375)
being automatically associated with those who use reddit (0.9375)
posting on the regret index rather than manning up and just calling the damn could be sweety already (0.9375)
being so deeply embedded in the sexless, socially awkward persona you've created for yourself, probably as a defense mechanism, that now that you want to change you're really having trouble getting out (0.9375)
misjudging the color nail polish you bought and ending up with three bottles of the same color (0.9375)
jerks (0.9375)
not being able to pick a lower quality video option in this one website so you can just watch the dang thing without it buffering every half second (0.9375)
taking an exam to discover it had little to no questions about the material covered in class (0.9375)
not starting that project sooner (0.9375)
that Juggalos are the absolute worst subculture the world has yet to produce, as though they were part of some kind of secret government project to create a genetically engineered Super Retard by combining the DNA of wiggers, rednecks, and goths (0.9375)
more than anything, you just don't like feeling unproductive and unprofitable, and you especially have guilt over getting an education in something and then struggling to make it useful (0.9375)
getting your sad all over the place (0.9375)
minnesota (0.9375)
clumsy fingers (0.9375)
when an ad or something similar uses an asterisk as if to call out a footnote, but doesn't include the actual footnote (0.9375)
meating Brian Peppers (0.9375)
stretching your legs and it feels so good until OH GOD CRAMP (0.9375)
your pen is exploding (0.9375)
Open Office being frozen, and you can't just end the program and restart it because of your unsaved data which is in fact extremely important (0.9375)
Return of the Jedi was made (0.9375)
being part of the vicious circle that lowers the price of illustration and design, because you don't know how to price and when you're that desperate to make a living off of something meaningful to you, you'll take the cheap jobs, and work for exposure (0.9375)
not being able to find your library card (0.9375)
not being able to do enough (0.9375)
lending your bees to a dishonest beekeeper (0.9375)
not doing your homework a few times and realizing you may fail your course because of this (0.9375)
never having heard of metaplasmus before now even though you've seen it in practice countless times (0.9375)
that someone will eventually start spamming the site (0.9355)
having a sticky e key, apparently (0.9333)
marrying a person that you already knew was mentally ill (0.9333)
that despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart (0.9333)
thinking, worrying, that the rest of the Regret Index considers you to be a grouch, a prude, a party hyphen pooper (0.9333)
rediscovering shitty music at just the worst time (0.9333)
not washing your hands (0.9333)
being at a loss for what to do until it's dark and cool enough for the writing frenzy to kick in (0.9333)
David Carradine dying in a puddle of his own Bill spill (0.9333)
not applying for that job sooner (0.9333)
buying that expensive thing that doesn't actually work better than the cheaper thing (0.9333)
Sucking your thumb as a child and now you have to wear braces (0.9333)
ugh, not putting more effort into it (0.9333)
losing the piece of paper that had all of your plans scribbled on it (0.9333)
watching a TV series online, then getting midway and being unable to find a working video anywhere on the web and not being able to carry on (0.9333)
being a Korean soccer fan now (0.9333)
people who use the phrase "internship position" as a more positive way to say "unpaid position", even though there are such things as paid internships (0.9333)
staying up in order to accomplish something, but just sitting around instead (0.9333)
straining relations (0.9333)
blowing it (0.9333)
being a passive aggressive roommate (0.9333)
only having crushes where you're totally deluded that they cannot help but work out, then pursuing them with a full tilt zeal that would make the Luftwaffe seem like a buncha Luftwafflers, amirite (0.9333)
drinking the water in Mexico (0.9333)
even reading the term Brangelina (0.9333)
finding some really fucked up fanart online (0.9333)
weight loss ads where the "before" and "after" are clearly two different people (0.9333)
screwing Andy (0.9333)
leaving your twelve pack of soda in the grocery store parking lot in the bottom of the cart (0.9333)
that helen thomas kind of reminds you of ayn rand for some reason (0.9333)
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine (0.9333)
taking a trip down memory lane, but then getting jackknifed on bitter regret turnpike (0.9333)
giving up your pets for the sake of a partner (0.9333)
getting all zonked on the angel dust and acting like a tough, but you ain't nothin' but a queer from Philly, see (0.9333)
waking up today with a sore throat and possible lung affliction, after having no developing symptoms and not being able to think what you could have done to cause this sickness (0.9333)
not finishing off the protagonist when he was weak and inexperienced, and instead sending a stream of minions on a shallow difficulty curve that perfectly matched his increasing power (0.9333)
realizing that she thought of you as a weird creep all along and you thought you had a nice conversation (0.9333)
network decay (0.9333)
trying to writeth yon novel entire in Olde Englishe despite having thou only vaguest notion of what people hath conversedeth similar to in such times past , and abusing the suffixeth "eth" throughout, as well as the language in general, forsooth, verily (0.9333)
finally finding a job to apply to, but having the listing removed right as you're about to apply for it (0.9333)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (0.9333)
watching the Dragonball movie (0.9333)
knowing what to do, and not doing it (0.9333)
never practicing the piano as much as you should, even though you like it more than you say you do (0.9333)
forgetting to wash the clothes you have to wear tomorrow until just now (0.9333)
a wild Thom Yorke appears! (0.9333)
being attractive enough to be hit on but not socially aware enough to do anything about it (0.9333)
working for a jerk (0.9333)
failing at coming off witty when trying to befriend someone (0.9310)
not washing your dishes and letting bugs take over your kitchen (0.9310)
those song with a minute or so of silence at the beginning (0.9310)
a life of regret (0.9302)
reacting angrily to reasonable advice (0.9302)
forgetting to check on the pizza in the oven (0.9302)
the long decline (0.9286)
debating whether or not to go to bed before it is even dark out because you can't think of anything better to do (0.9286)
thinking of a frikkin' sweet regret, postponing adding it until you'd finished voting or commenting your current regret, then forgetting the regret you'd only recently concocted (0.9286)
that you've always just gotten involved in something that takes up all your atention, when your friend says goodnight and leaves the internet (0.9286)
not telling off your condescending friends (0.9286)
when something you intend to use just sits around sadly, reminding you of how lazy you are (0.9286)
following the instructions for growing a tail, but instead summoning a miniature bigfoot who slashes at your ankles with a razor (0.9286)
buying fruit and not getting around to eating it before it spoils (0.9286)
po! po! po! po! popozao! popozao! (0.9286)
not knowing if you have a boyfriend or just a boy who is going through all the motions (0.9286)
constipation (0.9286)
that your cat wants to play fetch, which is all fine and good and kind of cute, but you're trying to type as she walks across the keyboard to drop her little twist tie right in front of you (0.9286)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (0.9286)
waiting to let Obama jerk off (0.9286)
not understanding this thing Earthlings call "love" (0.9286)
not cleaning your room until moving out of the house and discovering that it was pretty big after all (0.9286)
making a ridiculous sweeping generalization, then tacking 'to me' at the beginning of it (0.9286)
being too honest, or rather too bad at lying, to tell guys you're not attacracted to that you have a boyfriend, so they just keep talking at you anyway (0.9286)
ever loaning anything to stupid fucking stoners (0.9286)
being bored (0.9286)
falling awake (0.9286)
waking up with what looks like a crime scene in your pants (0.9286)
not knowing whether it would be better to respond to an email or to ignore it (0.9286)
reading that one webcomic long after it stopped being funny (0.9286)
hearing so much about how people fool themselves that you no longer feel able to authoritatively say anything about what you were or weren't thinking at a particular time (0.9286)
lolcode (0.9286)
going through all the trouble of tracking and killing that sasquatch then slacking off and forgetting to zombify it (0.9286)
being so friggin' hungry you start to feel ill (0.9286)
losing that little bit of credibility for doing that one thing (0.9286)
watching The Time Traveler's Wife and the Babysitter and the Pizza Delivery Guy and Also a Couple of Black Guys (0.9286)
loaning your Magic Bullet to a fucking swan (0.9286)
having what is about two hundred dollars to your name (0.9286)
being tired during the day and wide awake at night (0.9286)
not having the time to learn more about something (0.9286)
leaving that personal ad about liking pina coladas & getting caught in the rain (0.9286)
not floozing more often (0.9286)
not being against doing art for free, but being overwhelmed by the expectation of it, from businesses who can afford to pay, and people who make demands and pretty much say they will treat you like shit in return for nothing more than "portfolio building" (0.9286)
not having that conversation (0.9286)
the slow death of the regret index (0.9286)
waiting until things are perfect, and since things are never perfect, never getting around to anything (0.9286)
making jokes in base thirteen (0.9286)
spending most of a night playing Lumines (0.9286)
kidney stones (0.9286)
having all of these half drawn figures that you really like, but not knowing what to do with them (0.9286)
thinking of Kento as your token Asian friend (0.9286)
regret index bromance (0.9286)
seeing a little puppy waddle past the window and not rushing out of the restaurant, bill unpaid, to make sure it wasn't lost (0.9286)
that rumors of a Sailor Moon movie center around Lindsay Lohan and not Alexis Bledel, I mean duh (0.9286)
throwing up into your own mouth and tasting it twice (0.9286)
that so many people are so stupid (0.9286)
that a douchebag is a hygienic product and so I will take that as a compliment (0.9286)
experiencing a sudden, crippling burst of writer's block, possibly due to sleep deprivation (0.9286)
not really being sure what happened to your sentence there (0.9286)
realising that the girl you love probably was interested in you, but now it's too late (0.9286)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (0.9286)
that Michael Cera plays the same role in everything he is in (0.9286)
that all your loves have been unrequited (0.9286)
that hardly anyone on here takes the Index seriously, so all you find is things like licking dead people (0.9286)
liking the idea of the new Johnny Depp gangster video, but the trailers you've seen look like they were all shot on unlit digital video (0.9286)
assuming that lamenting about a problem precludes any action to solve that problem (0.9286)
believing yourself so smart anyone who disagrees with you must be stupid, evil, or brainwashed (0.9286)
being very bad at explaining your worldview to people, causing them to think that you're pretentious and judgemental (0.9286)
being in love with yourself and not loving yourself back (0.9286)
waking up just as it was about to be revealed (0.9286)
walrus ayn rand chris lydon nomos nomoi nomos nomoi nomos (0.9286)
letting out a fart, but accidentally following through (0.9286)
the time you lost five pages of something because you didn't save often enough (0.9286)
thinking of a good regret to add but when you finally go to add it having forgotten it (0.9286)
that soylent green isn't people in the book (0.9286)
seeing someone change their art because someone else went out of their way to find something to be offended by (0.9286)
misplacing your virginity and not being sure where you left it, though it was probably on the bus (0.9286)
when a stupid band does a cover of a song that becomes better known than the awesome original, and whenever you mention the song people assume you're talking about the crappy cover (0.9286)
the moment when your brakes lock and you slide towards the big truck (0.9286)
being too ashamed about something to even vent anonymously (0.9286)
accidentally washing your USB drive (0.9286)
that employers can get away with writing job postings that pay no respect to spelling or grammar (0.9286)
the Hypercritical Index (0.9286)
that there's a restaurant in Tokyo where you can watch girls poo and then eat it (0.9286)
letting the chips get soggy (0.9286)
uninvited implosive bachelor (0.9286)
The lip at the opening of the cheap bags of cereal under which all the cereal gets trapped while trying to pour it out (0.9286)
not building that giant robot when you had the chance (0.9273)
the sequel (0.9259)
never learning to parallel park and now that you live in a city, it's kind of an important skill (0.9250)
something you HAVE done (0.9245)
that the tank thong combines the comfort of a tank top and the discomfort of a thong (0.9231)
being too afraid to tell your partner where you want your relationship to go, thus giving the impression that you don't know or don't care (0.9231)
what an enormous number of utterly crap Seth MacFarlane series somehow get greenlit for TV (0.9231)
that your cat loves licking everything, such as the floor, the shower curtain, the box fan, and bottles of potentially dangerous chemicals if you don't put them away (0.9231)
telling your best friend that you've been in love with her steady boyfriend for months (0.9231)
only barely trying anymore, not trying at all when your clothes are on (0.9231)
possibly leading someone you're not interested in on, as a result of your inability to be rude and truthful (0.9231)
being given the cold shoulder (0.9231)
getting no comments on your latest DA submission, because it isn't fanart, furry, or porn (0.9231)
making up statistics about fridge deaths, but not bothering to write them down and forgetting them (0.9231)
not being able to cross between the two worlds (0.9231)
failing the life school of life (0.9231)
that putting diamonds on the soles of your shoes is totally impractical because nobody will see them and they'll just fall off anyway (0.9231)
dwelling on regret (0.9231)
the death of webcomics before their plot is completed (0.9231)
that most vegan food smells like an infected glans (0.9231)
spending way too much on groceries that will likely get all moldy and gross before you can reasonably use them (0.9231)
people spitting on the pavement (0.9231)
wearing that LIVEstrong bracelet for six months straight (0.9231)
absorbing so much info earlier that now you can't seem to think right (0.9231)
having a painful eye, as though there were an eyelash or something in it, but not seeing the culprit (0.9231)
not sleeping enough (0.9231)
THEY TOOK YER JOBS! (0.9231)
being murdered (0.9231)
that your roommate is home once again, and once again you wish they were elsewhere (0.9231)
actually, very nearly coming to terms with your body image as seen in mirrors and stuff, but still hating youself in almost every photograph you've ever been in (0.9231)
not baing able to curl up into a ball to protect yourself from predators (0.9231)
that, if you think about it, the plot of "The Time Traveler's Wife" kind of reinforces the stereotype that a woman should stay at home and have babies and patiently wait for the man who is out having adventures (0.9231)
wasting not, but still wanting (0.9231)
that if Ryan doesn't periodically tweak the 'dex, you have no way to explain the occasional changes, like the regret lists on the sidebar suddenly changing, or that thing last year when commenting on regrets temporarily bumped them up the recent comments (0.9231)
that you have some concerns about the way things are done at work, but you never say anything about it because you're convinced that no one's going to listen to you anyway (0.9231)
shows or other videos being offered for free on their official websites, but those website not working on your computer for some reasons, and you not being able to find less legit ways of watching said videos, because no one feels the need to repost them (0.9231)
having to shave your moustache, despite being a chick (0.9231)
grumping up the place (0.9231)
mistaking the glowy sky demon for the flamey sky demon and calling all your friends while they were asleep (0.9231)
lying to her, leaving her, hurting her horribly, and then realizing you're still in love with her (0.9231)
always wondering if things were ingrained in your personality since youth, or if they're a result of the grief you went through, and if you'll ever really get over that, because you keep trying and ending up in the same place (0.9231)
stepping on your music player because you left it in your coat pocket and your coat on the floor (0.9231)
not being able to make things right (0.9231)
shitty advice (0.9231)
not knowing where to price things you're selling, so that it's a fair price, maybe even skewed to your advantage, but not too expensive for people to buy it (0.9231)
picking up that cat from the foreclosed home across the street because all it does is meow, constantly reminding you of your failures and shortcomings, like losing a house for example (0.9231)
that you're probably pretty bad at interviews, but that's okay, since no one ever replies to your applications anyway (0.9231)
that wine is not an emulator, only it is (0.9231)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (0.9231)
doing that thing that you regret (0.9231)
being scammed so repeatedly that it's become second habit to accept defeat as some sort of martyr's "victory" (0.9231)
domain hacks (0.9231)
needing money to make money (0.9231)
speaking PUNjabi (0.9231)
that sometimes its hard to know which way you're supposed to go (0.9231)
irregular bowels (0.9231)
having contracted swine flu and now you can't stop oinking (0.9231)
that the thrill is here but it won't last long (0.9231)
not knowing how to accept a compliment (0.9231)
thinking someone maybe likes you but you're probably wrong, you are an unlovable monster after all (0.9231)
needing a cash infusion, stat (0.9231)
being mistaken for antisocial and so ending up with no friends, when really you're just incredibly shy (0.9231)
your bionic left arm that wont let you type askfj iowu vn fhlsdkajf (0.9231)
being a little in love with Egg Girl, you really need to spend less time online (0.9231)
thinking that you're rebellious because you listen to hard rock and watch violent movies (0.9231)
being betrayed by someone you thought you could look up to and admire (0.9231)
hypergraphia (0.9231)
crappy busted ass Earthlink (0.9231)
being woken repeatedly for no damn reason by someone or something irritating and trivial (0.9231)
falling down the stairs (0.9231)
Captain Jean Luke Skywalker (0.9231)
downloading video where the sound doesn't match the visual (0.9231)
your body wanting you to get pregnant every month, and tricking you into wanting to eat everything as a result, among other things (0.9231)
Evony ads (0.9231)
this time around, being the person whp replied seriously to a joke, even though you had an inkling it was a joke, kind of (0.9231)
only having boring DVDs to (0.9231)
getting eaten by a big fat cow that eats you (0.9231)
finally meeting someone who was nice to you only to drive them off with your awful personality quirks (0.9231)
that so many actresses have such generically beautiful faces, that it's difficult to even describe them in terms of features in a way that will differentiate them from other actresses (0.9231)
culling the logical conclusion (0.9231)
being a hypocrite (0.9231)
hearing a mix tape you thought was awesome but now realize was terrible (0.9231)
that you ate mayonnaise that was four months old and expired (0.9231)
haha, I really screwed that one up (0.9231)
not applying yourself to something you cared about (0.9231)
failing to duck (0.9231)
failing to talk to someone due to embarassment (0.9231)
the imminent return of spam to the regret index (0.9231)
watching Eragon OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit (0.9231)
wanting to introduce your friends to the Regret Index, but since, as you regard it as the internet's backward turned optic nerve of enlightenment, and these people dwell near the darkened rim of its asshole, you feel it would be a bad match (0.9231)
that you can't even express the flaws you find in that logic (0.9231)
traveling through time and accidentally materializing in the same spot as your past self (0.9231)
only biking east (0.9231)
thinking that you've gotten even stupider in the time the Index was down, I mean you remember making a lot of mistakes then, but now it's just crazy (0.9231)
shamelessly downloading music on your laptop for four years without any problems, but when you update Java on the same laptop that damned XP Antivirus malware slips through and nearly kills it (0.9231)
not actually being sure what you meant by "that scene", you guess you maybe meant the hanging out in public spaces with other people scene (0.9231)
that someone on the old regret index made a regret about a sex dream they had about you, but they never told you who they were (0.9231)
the relentless grinding toil of wage slavery (0.9231)
counting on someone you thought was your friend, only to realize they only like you when you're available (0.9219)
wussing out and NOT kissing that attractive girl (0.9200)
falling behind on emails, deviantart submissions, and bill payment (0.9200)
living through a terrible event yourself, but still being unable to think of what to say when it happens to someone else (0.9200)
Not knowing exactly how to get to the results without voting, thus bumping up and down various regrets (0.9200)
washing your plane ticket with your jeans and socks (0.9200)
not being able to finish anything you've ever started (0.9192)
not trusting your instincts (0.9189)
not knowing how to ask for help when you needed it most (0.9178)
not going to the bathroom before you left the house (0.9175)
that there can't be just one Facebook app for all of these god damn quizzes, you mean you want to take some of the quizzes, but you don't want to add a new app every single time (0.9167)
waking up hungover and alone (0.9167)
not being able to find that clitoris (0.9167)
contracting swine flu from your piggy bank (0.9167)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (0.9167)
breaking your Grandmother's wrist (0.9167)
that there hasn't been a president in more than a century that has had a vagina (0.9167)
not minding your own bismuth (0.9167)
that your requited crush turned out, upon closer examination, to be a boring, self absorbed pain in the ass, and now the sticky problem of how to get rid of them without hurting their feelings (0.9167)
calling heads, but the sexy coin turned up tails (0.9167)
having run out of regrets, then, paradoxically, realizing this is in itself a regret, oh tearful slope of sisyphean toil! (0.9167)
that you would get a tattoo, and you even know what it would be, if you could think of a place on your body that you liked enough to put it (0.9167)
dying your blonde hair dark brown (0.9167)
being a jerky mcjerkface to the ones you love (0.9167)
really not getting the pony eye blowing regrets (0.9167)
needing a haircut and having a new, competent stylist you like, but really having no idea what you want to do with it (0.9167)
leaving the milk in the fridge too long (0.9167)
your game apparently freezing, and refusing to fix itself after several minutes (0.9167)
never having had cable, therefore having missed the Mystery Science Theater craze, you little pampered Anita (0.9167)
that the only people you can really ask for advice are sleeping (0.9167)
logging into Brian Peppers (0.9167)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, but never show it, not because it's part of their character but because the author or writers are too dumb (0.9167)
not wiping up that last trace of blood (0.9167)
the Humorless Bland Agreement Bandit (0.9167)
swans taking our jobs (0.9167)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (0.9167)
that I'm afraid the pretzels are no longer complimentary, Mr Bond (0.9167)
agreeing to help that person with building their website (0.9167)
,,, ,'' ,' ', ,,, (0.9167)
that you tried to make a joke, but you bleu it (0.9167)
loving chocolate, only to find that it sometimes gives you migraines if you eat it (0.9167)
post nasal drip (0.9167)
people who leave stuff lying around in public places, like it's someone else's job to clean up after them, seriously (0.9167)
that you very nearly had the dative case down when your senior year of German ended, and you haven't taken any classes since (0.9167)
fucking ohio (0.9167)
hearing thirty seconds of Kung Fu Panda through a closed door and deciding that not only do you not want to watch it, but that you never want to think "panda herpes" again (0.9167)
that it all seems like a stopgap (0.9167)
being all shy for most of the year and as a result she is merely your good friend (0.9167)
not getting enough sleep (0.9167)
being too afraid to ask you partner where your relationship is going in case they give an answer you don't want to hear (0.9167)
trying to read Moby Dick once, oh god (0.9167)
not going to watch that grudge match between God and Satan, because seriously you guys, it was awesome (0.9167)
lending your favorite book and your favorite comic to your girlfriend of less than two months only to have her dump you and never give them back (0.9167)
crying over a boy on the way home from school, only to have your aunt find out and tell your grandmother, who lectures you about it at work (0.9167)
that BAD sketch comedy has killed the parody (0.9167)
going to college or uni and somehow managing to be the only person to not make any friends there (0.9167)
clumsy brains (0.9167)
not saving your game (0.9167)
that Charlie Brown never gets to kick the damn football (0.9167)
locking your keys in the car while thinking to yourself that you're locking your keys in the car (0.9167)
that people are so bad at taking direction and piking up on visual cues (0.9167)
eating so much rubbish (0.9167)
feeling iffy from lithium (0.9167)
misuse of the word "epoch" (0.9167)
that if you wash your clothes, you'll have to stay up for another hour to dry them, but if you don't you'll be stinky tomorrow (0.9167)
reading a book for the first time in which you discover several things which you had, a few months ago but several months after the book was out, written into an as of yet incomplete short story of yours, and now feeling like you've plagiarized (0.9167)
swatting that mosquito when you were wearing a white shirt and now you have a big blood stain on your sleeve (0.9167)
being horny but not having any suitable potential sex partners around (0.9167)
not understanding what makes you so bad at this (0.9167)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (0.9167)
imagining that you must be exhausting to know (0.9167)
building an Ayn Randroid (0.9167)
that sometimes it feels like you will never be making enough money to break even, let alone actually get ahead (0.9167)
that the killer what took me is entitilitis (0.9167)
people who know a little music theory that fight over whether the major or minor scales are better, when both are just different ways of interpreting a single pitch class set (0.9167)
having to move out of uni accomodation, since oh god there's so much stuff to pack (0.9167)
regularly taking fish oil supplements (0.9167)
how many shockingly attractive people turn out to be both really insecure messed up in the head freaks who needs lots of tlc, yet at the same time manage to be arrogant narcissistic meanies (0.9167)
that some silicone sister with her manager mister told you you got what it takes, she said she'd turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky breaks (0.9167)
often saying things like "I'm pretty sure" when what you really mean is that you're completely and utterly certain (0.9167)
empty, hollow gestures (0.9167)
that you were going to buy that Tako piece that Agent FiftySeven made but you didn't because you couldn't (0.9167)
regrorts (0.9167)
usually feeling like apologizing for your anxiety, but recently having been helped by your shrink to understand that it's not something that needs to be apologized for, although you still don't get this on a subconscious level (0.9167)
having nothing to live for and no means to live with, but not wanting to die either (0.9167)
playing hungry angry achey puffy bleeding mess hippos with your ornery peach canning aunt when all you wanted was to play hungry hungry hippos instead (0.9167)
whining about regrets on the internet, where no one really gives a shit (0.9167)
coming back only to find out that your craving for brains really gets in the way of forming a meaningful relationship (0.9167)
not realising that action could be interpreted in that way, and being horrified, HORRIFIED (0.9167)
not using your handle when it comes to insulting musicians (0.9167)
assuming that animal that looked like it was smiling was happy (0.9167)
recieving the wrong grade results and making life choices based on those, only to find out too late (0.9167)
bragging about being from West Virginia (0.9167)
middle aged men with fake tans, bleached blond hair, and pink nailpolish (0.9167)
drawing that comet so that the tail pointed in the opposite direction of its motion rather than away from the sun (0.9167)
bringing up a hypothesis to a friend who immediately dismisses it, only to have the same hypothesis repeated back to your months later, as it it were an original idea (0.9167)
telling yourself you'll complete an assignment today since you have other things to do tomorrow but you're probably going to put it off until tomorrow anyway (0.9167)
that the "asians" section on that porno site is full of pics of forty year old obese indians (0.9167)
waking up to a high pitched chittering sound coming from outside your window (0.9167)
regrets, perod (0.9167)
listening to the Sugababes (0.9167)
not feeling qualified for most things, lately (0.9167)
buying Team Fortress Two for your girlfriend (0.9167)
another stupid network website using the stupid Move player that doesn't work for you (0.9167)
collapsing in on yourself with bitterness and solitude (0.9167)
buying a ridiculously expensive treadmill, only to have it sit unused in your garage (0.9167)
Candlejacking off (0.9167)
being so tired, but half waiting up expecting a phone call (0.9167)
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in Severe Ass Damage V (0.9167)
that nobody seems to realize the "people suck" attitude is self perpetuating, because by living that way you're just contributing to the overall selfishness of society (0.9167)
Today's Sedentary Lifestyles (0.9167)
having blisters on your fingers (0.9167)
falling in a bottomless pit (0.9167)
having all of the fun of a hangover without any of the fun of actually drinking the night before (0.9167)
no one taking advantage of these excellent tatas (0.9167)
breaking the pendants you are working on (0.9167)
they literally had the poor bastard stuck in a corner with his back against the wall and sweat rolling down his face (0.9167)
catching a chronic but fairly minor disease while traveling (0.9167)
Gwyneth Paltrow too (0.9167)
freely using "ironically" when you mean "unfortunately" (0.9167)
sitting next to someone who really stinks on the bus (0.9167)
that five years ago you would have been thrilled to see a Tim Burton version of Alice, but now you feel it's just another movie with Johnny Depp in it (0.9167)
that female porn stars usually have faces well below average (0.9167)
insecurity (0.9167)
that you make me feel like crying (0.9167)
that when you hit puberty and finally got your horns that they weren't the long cool black and twisted kind like Dad has, but the shorter goat kind (0.9167)
that you should have graduated college by now (0.9167)
eating colon (0.9167)
having no desire to sleep, but having an obligation to do so (0.9167)
not knowing enough about writing, you feel, to know whether you've done it successfully (0.9167)
being sorta interested in trying a "beer float", except it seems like a terrible waste of both beer and ice cream (0.9167)
Bandwidth limits in Australia (0.9167)
having problems at home, but not being able to move out yet (0.9167)
cluttering Firefox with so many addons that, really, the browser portion of the window is so small as to be unuseable (0.9167)
accidentally using than instead of then (0.9167)
not smothering Sky Dayton with a Thetan infested modem when you had a chance (0.9167)
these bananas being shitty, s h i t t y (0.9167)
sweating (0.9167)
calling your boyfriend or girlfriend, just to say hi and tell them you miss them, but for some reason picking a fight instead (0.9167)
being a twit on Twitter (0.9167)
writing poems you kind of like, but posting them on a nearly deserted livejournal, and then being scared of pointing them out to anyone because that might be obnoxious (0.9149)
not standing up for yourself (0.9149)
not making a back up (0.9149)
throwing away the amulet the old gypsy woman gave you for protection (0.9149)
spending the last of your money a week before payday (0.9130)
not knowing what to change your name to (0.9130)
not being able to edit regrets in order to correct spelling and grammar (0.9130)
only learning to cut loose and have fun AFTER graduating college (0.9118)
failing to take hints (0.9109)
having gaps in your CV (0.9091)
asking out the cute waitress at your favorite restaurant, because she said no and now you can't go to your favorite restaurant anymore (0.9091)
SA no longer being readable by non members (0.9091)
not making the city more welcoming to your friend who recently moved here and isn't liking it much, because you are too busy trying to figure out how to make a living, and being pretty miserable yourself (0.9091)
pressing the enter key instead of shift (0.9091)
spending thirty seven dollars plus tax on that Che Guevera tshirt (0.9091)
taking social cues from a number of movies and television shows in which the protagonists are obviously very interested in each other, but must never, no never, admit it to each other, anyone else, or sometimes even themselves (0.9091)
getting into an "open relationship" (0.9091)
losing your first love, which happened to be a sweet vintage bike (0.9091)
that at least the old Evony ads were slutty in a fantasy sort of way, these new ones aren't even trying (0.9091)
eating the little girl (0.9091)
only seeming to feel scared or motivated around three in the morning, when it seems impossible to do anything about it (0.9091)
saying "someone" when you meant "somewhat" (0.9091)
deciding not to do laundry and instead wear mildewy bloodstained underwear from your laundry pile (0.9091)
coming home early, being bored, rediscovering Nanosaur Two on your computer (0.9091)
that pop country western seems to have adopted cock rock's regrettable irritating swagger, only with pot bellies and redneckery (0.9091)
not making it clear to her that NO WE ARE NOT FRIENDS AND NEVER WILL BE (0.9091)
El Cisne Loco (0.9091)
losing your connections (0.9091)
the scariness of putting money down on an idea you're not sure will work out (0.9091)
finding science irreverent because, you know, all the jokes (0.9091)
finding the ANY key and then pressing it when you weren't specificially asked to (0.9091)
that once you get your scent on them, the mother won't take them back (0.9091)
being a pretty lonely guy (0.9091)
an angry bleeding mess of a swan (0.9091)
that there is (0.9091)
being a cyberbully (0.9091)
never really knowing what happened (0.9091)
reading "ekranoplans" as "electroplankton" or "ekans" as in the pokemon also snake backwards (0.9091)
sinking time (0.9091)
when a shitty band covers a great song, I'm looking at you My Chemical Romance (0.9091)
two undernourished egos (0.9091)
liking cloth (0.9091)
not knowing what to say when you heard her mother had died, and therefore not calling her to see how she was doing (0.9091)
people asking "how was your weekend" when you worked both Saturday and Sunday, and it wasn't really a weekend (0.9091)
signing up for that MMO game (0.9091)
forgetting which day your final exam is and subsequently missing it (0.9091)
fucking bastard sexists who come up with shit like "Man Law" (0.9091)
not trying to make everyone feel bad for you, which you think it probably seems like, just not being able to keep the anxiety inside, because then it gets even worse (0.9091)
being a little afraid to post about your goal of eating your way through every street fair this summer, as your metabolism not only makes you thin but apparently also insensitive to others not so freakish in the DNA department (0.9091)
getting so annoyed with yourself for the mopey pessimism, but just getting mopier and more pessimistic as a result (0.9091)
being a little bored and lonely (0.9091)
selling your soul to the devil, retroactively erasing your entire marriage, to save the life of your elderly aunt who'll probably die in a year or two anyway (0.9091)
that even if your attempts at logic are nonsensical, they're still enough to persuade yourself (0.9091)
that fanwikis are destined to fail because anyone who spends enough time on the computer to contribute to them has the social skills of a brain damaged baboon (0.9091)
dyeing in vein (0.9091)
that The goggles do nothing! (0.9091)
unintentional impulsive behavior (0.9091)
that having now learned about "synthetic knives" you may never leave the house again (0.9091)
the swan above the port, the color of television, tuned to a dead channel (0.9091)
getting a pet that doesn't like you back (0.9091)
not having regular internet access for more than a month because your laptop is screwed up (0.9091)
Kanye West (0.9091)
that you would probably save a lot of money if you just rented one small keg a month (0.9091)
Evony and Ibory (0.9091)
the regret index having no edit function (0.9091)
despising someone, except for with your penis (0.9091)
only asking her out when it was too late (0.9091)
that assholes are such assholes (0.9091)
having trouble seeing the point in trying, when you get no response (0.9091)
the binbag splitting (0.9091)
using suicide preventatively rather than curatively (0.9091)
lemon tree (0.9091)
having actually liked BonziBuddy back in the day until you realized it was spyware (0.9091)
hank driving all the way to springfield to watch bart's peewee football game (0.9091)
listening to Kottonmouth Kings with cotton in your mouth (0.9091)
eating blubbery pancakes (0.9091)
having a rough nap (0.9091)
watching that video where a skinny guy sits down on like a three foot long dildo and you're all like "oh big deal it's just a camera trick, he just sat down in front of it" and then you can see it pushing around in his stomach and you want todie (0.9091)
internet psychologists (0.9091)
genital mutilation (0.9091)
being hoisted by your own petard (0.9091)
the familiar sound of your cat vomiting in the next room (0.9091)
sending someone a couple of instant messages, only to have them sign off a few minutes later without even replying (0.9091)
hot grits (0.9091)
letting your keyboard get filthy (0.9091)
wanting to comment one someone's old Facebook item or picture, but not doing it because you think that would be weird because secretly you're lookingat their old items and photos because you loooooooove them (0.9091)
Ron Tario (0.9091)
that you really can't believe that TV offer you just watched was a real thing, I mean really (0.9091)
having already run out of things to do by eight forty five on a Sunday morning (0.9091)
being unemployed, and feeling unable to become employed (0.9091)
fanwank effecting the plot of your favorite show (0.9091)
the critic (0.9091)
making mistakes (0.9091)
adding a comment to the wrong regret (0.9091)
that emo kids and angsty teenagers have warped people's view of what depression really is (0.9091)
the treachery of images (0.9091)
that your sister owns all of the John Bellairs books you read growing up, so you can't just crack one open and start rereading it now (0.9091)
your bad memory (0.9091)
knowing that it'll take your whole damn life to make this right (0.9091)
being too tired to write (0.9091)
not seeming to be able to make the very, very small amount of money that you need to get by (0.9091)
having a football shaped head (0.9091)
misspelling "McClane" (0.9091)
having a shit ton of stuff to do on the computer at just the time your skin feels like its itching off your face, the ambient noise of the room is howling in your ears and you could probably run to Milwaukee and back without breaking a sweat, srsly (0.9091)
being pigeonholed (0.9091)
writing crappy dialogue (0.9091)
not being able to tell if you or the other person gave up on the friendship first (0.9091)
not knowing morse code by ,,,, , ,' ,', ' (0.9091)
meeting that Fall Out Boy (0.9091)
that you've gone from getting blown nightly to getting blown off, amirite (0.9091)
thinking that Michael Jackson's skin color transition from black to white was something he did on purpose, only to discover later that it was due to a rare skin disease which destroyed the pigment in his skin (0.9091)
buying CD's and never getting around to listening to them (0.9091)
the bad taste in music of people in convertibles sitting at a nearby traffic light (0.9079)
receiving a fortune cookie containing no fortune at a restaurant (0.9063)
that this thing doesn't cycle through all of the regrets when you're on a voting roll and you keep voting on the same ones over and over again (0.9050)
breaking her trust (0.9048)
being unable to think of indecent comebacks (0.9048)
veneral diseases (0.9048)
that your love of synching video to music in interesting or inappropriate ways clashes with your hate of searching for a legitamate clip on Youtube and getting a hundred fan made music videos featuring Evanescence songs back instead (0.9048)
that countries will enter a war without first setting definite goals and definite plans as to how to accomplish them (0.9048)
debt (0.9048)
burning the tomato sauce that you canned and have been eating all year (0.9048)
liking video fighting games, the two dimensional kind, but never making any friends to play them with (0.9048)
forgetting to check for typos (0.9048)
waking up earlier than usual, but then dicking around so you'll probably still be late to work (0.9048)
that people don't laugh at your jokes, but they do laugh at your serious suggestions (0.9024)
not putting away a small amount of money every month since I started working (0.9024)
being so screwed up by the past that you never give love a chance (0.9014)
not being able to figure out if you are depressed (0.9000)
Eating way too much because if its gonna cost that much you're going to get your fill (0.9000)
mildewy (0.9000)
being unable to talk to people unless you have a "good" reason to (0.9000)
feeling sleepy for the first time in months on a night when you should stay up to get some work done (0.9000)
tripping and falling into Kento's GAPING ASSHOLE (0.9000)
finding every interaction with this one person to be delightful, but not taking any action (0.9000)
not realizing that underneath all that shit, he just wanted help (0.9000)
making mountains out of molehills (0.9000)
running late (0.9000)
being depressed over your failure to achieve something that was implausible anyway (0.9000)
assuming it was obvious (0.8989)
drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth (0.8986)
not running fast enough (0.8980)
being shy (0.8974)
telling a joke you hadn't thought all the way through (0.8970)
forgetting passwords (0.8966)
having no friends in the city where you live and turning to this site for some semblance of social intercourse (0.8966)
getting so awkward when you're caught off your guard (0.8966)
having rich inner monologues that melt away as soon as you begin to write (0.8966)
breaking your resolve (0.8966)
not saying at least "hello" (0.8963)
that the good times are over (0.8958)
that you didn't take more pictures (0.8958)
allowing xkcd to become unfunny (0.8947)
stepping on gum (0.8947)
an hero lolwut facepalmjpg (0.8947)
being to poor to build your own robot butler (0.8947)
learning your best friend was a closet furry (0.8947)
not shaving your legs ever, but shaving your pubes for someone once, leading you to look mangy (0.8947)
not kissing people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.8947)
that the person who did your job before you had no filing abilities and you have to spend so much of your time sifting through randomly named files all the time and the system (0.8947)
letting him break your heart again (0.8947)
losing what little nerve you had (0.8947)
being born too late for tall ships, and too early for space ships (0.8947)
regrets written in the first person (0.8947)
bad speling and grammer (0.8947)
wrongeous anger (0.8936)
not making your move when you had the chance (0.8932)
confusing your horniness for loneliness (0.8929)
drying yourself with a mildewy towel (0.8929)
abandoning your values (0.8929)
calling someone by the wrong name in front of all their friends (0.8923)
going through too much bullshit just to mess with the wrong person for you (0.8913)
staying in that dead end job because it required less work than following your dream (0.8901)
not backing up my data (0.8897)
orphaned puppies with a hurt paw crying alone in the rain (0.8889)
losing touch with old friends (0.8889)
that Captain K'nuckles is a dick (0.8889)
that monocles and top hats are not in style (0.8889)
not turning back to look at her one last time before leaving her life forever (0.8889)
hunting the wumpus to extinction (0.8889)
waking up tired everyday (0.8889)
being expected not to offend anyone else, ever (0.8889)
misuse of apostrophe's (0.8889)
not learning how to change a tire (0.8889)
not being good at self promotion (0.8889)
strangers telling you to 'cheer up' and smile when you weren't even aware of being anything less than fine (0.8889)
telling your ex girlfriend you loved someone else for a mojority of your relationship, then wanting to get back with her (0.8889)
having the same cough for six months (0.8889)
hating yourself (0.8889)
misspelling you're as your (0.8889)
anaphylactic shock (0.8889)
cashing in a winning scratch off ticket just to buy some losing ones (0.8889)
not tightening the lug nuts (0.8889)
not knowing what to eat, and ending up eating nothing (0.8889)
loneliness that can only be consoled with regret (0.8889)
making mistkakes (0.8889)
jokes with friends (0.8889)
contractual obligations (0.8889)
the assholish way that vegans get when you tell them you like tofu, as if it belongs to them and you're not allowed to eat it (0.8889)
risking going for a poop despite the small amount of toilet paper and then running out before youre done (0.8883)
hardly ever taking the dog for a walk (0.8871)
making a costly mistake (0.8870)
getting fat (0.8857)
not letting the dog out to pee (0.8857)
lending that rare comic to your sister's boyfriend just before they broke up and you never saw him again (0.8857)
catching robot flu by going to that sleazy robot strip club (0.8846)
not figuring out what you want (0.8846)
not telling the person you have a crush on that you like them, and when you finally worked up the courage, they're dating someone else (0.8846)
being so careless your scoop of ice cream fell off the cone onto the hot pavement (0.8846)
putting of that dentist appointment until it was too late (0.8846)
not taking backups (0.8846)
not sleeping AND not getting the homework done (0.8842)
not hooking up with Ryan (0.8840)
staying with an abusive boyfriend (0.8837)
always starting to hate yourself whenever you suspect that anyone else has an opinion of you, whether that opinion be good or bad (0.8837)
leaving mould in a mug for so long that when you finally got round to washing it, it sprayed a blue cloud around the kitchen on contact with water and made you sneeze (0.8837)
having too much work or not enough (0.8824)
having a bunch of books you absolutely love, but losing your nerve when it comes to recommending them to others (0.8824)
making an unintentional typo when you were trying to make an intentional typo (0.8824)
having no qualifications (0.8824)
trying to get along with someone, even though their idea of conversation is a running critique of everything you do, like, and believe (0.8824)
eatting undercooked eggs (0.8824)
not making more of an outcry about bad things that are happening (0.8824)
being THAT guy (0.8824)
the absense of established customs and mores for online interaction (0.8824)
The Assassination of Jessie and James by the Coward Ash Ketchum (0.8824)
not going to the doctors sooner (0.8824)
reading a book in two days, because it was really good, but probably not being able to remember any of it a month after as a result (0.8824)
hitting that wasp, but not hard enough, so it comes back and stings you (0.8824)
not buying supplies before the dungeon run (0.8824)
dropping out of school for a girl (0.8824)
needing a shower in the warst way (0.8824)
not starting in your new sketchbook because you're afraid you'll mess up tremendously on the first page (0.8824)
that Zorro stole all your zzzzz's, now you'll be awake all night (0.8824)
when someone lives up to their stereotype (0.8824)
a lack of clarity in your regrets (0.8824)
that subscription to US weekly (0.8824)
hurting the only person who loved you because you were afraid of getting too close (0.8824)
that you are literally fucktarded (0.8824)
starting a business with loans from your friends (0.8824)
still not knowing what you want to be when you grow up (0.8824)
being afraid that when you do stop being scared of other people, you will settle for a relationship you're not that into, out of low self worth (0.8824)
saying you could start at your job earlier than they expected, then remembering later that you planned to visit your boyfriend that weekend (0.8824)
your lack of telekinesis (0.8810)
thinking someone is talking to you when they're actually talking to the person behind you (0.8806)
homeowners associations (0.8800)
that the trend of regrets that don't make sense with 'how much can you expect to regret' has returned (0.8800)
innocent actions being misconstrued by others as sexual advances (0.8800)
not having any self esteem (0.8800)
people blaming their own faults on you (0.8800)
your feet, they're cold (0.8800)
touching your eye after cutting hot peppers (0.8800)
liking an artist but not participating in the fandom so you don"t know what kind of stereotypes are attached to it (0.8800)
failing to see the signs (0.8794)
the Twilight books (0.8785)
that typo you will never be able to fix (0.8780)
leaving coffee for a week in your thermos (0.8780)
something you HAVEN'T done (0.8780)
living a life dictated by your phobias instead of your desires (0.8774)
giving someone more attention than they deserved (0.8767)
staying in relationships even after finding out the truth (0.8767)
failing to notice that the sad girl you just passed was actually a damsel in distress, and you didn't help her (0.8765)
not having a miniature pet Utahraptor (0.8750)
dying from food inhalation (0.8750)
that the DS has become a haven for shovelware (0.8750)
having itchy gums (0.8750)
not trying more things when you were younger now that you know being in trouble is a fake idea (0.8750)
that even though you know how to pronounce bass as in bass guitar, when you see it in writing you always automatically think bass, as in a type of fish (0.8750)
the incident (0.8750)
adding Roshan Patel to your Facebook friends (0.8750)
that it's no longer cool to call the Internet "the tubes" (0.8750)
not being sure if the same kid just passed you three times, or if there are triplets afoot (0.8750)
spelling gauge wrong (0.8750)
buying your first car, then immediately getting in your first car accident (0.8750)
realising you've ran out of toilet paper after you've already finished (0.8750)
wasting your life (0.8750)
moving to kuwait (0.8750)
entering pointless religious debates that serve only to make both sides really irritated (0.8750)
that there is nothing fair in this world, babe (0.8750)
finding out your cat is of the non yodeling variety (0.8750)
finding a living six inch long centipede in your toilet (0.8750)
neglecting your oral hygiene (0.8750)
making typos (0.8750)
thinking it would be way more punk to get a hott pink "Hello Kitty" Squier copy of a Strat than to get another Gibson SG, but being unsure whether wooable girls will see the post punk transgressive humor or your artfully ironic act of overthinking things (0.8750)
fighting between the feeling that you're not ready, and the feeling that you're running out of time (0.8750)
that clinging to the past hinders you from embracing the present, the old Regret Index is dead, long live the Regret Index (0.8750)
letting your ex have your Dreamcast (0.8750)
crotchrot (0.8750)
world hunger (0.8750)
May not being a fun month for you (0.8750)
not knowing what you did wrong (0.8750)
not looking both ways before you cross the street (0.8750)
winning a pyrrhic victory (0.8750)
moving into that apartment that was infested with bedbugs (0.8750)
showing that person you were hoping would be a new friend something stupid because you thought they would appreciate it, only no one would because your interests are dumb (0.8750)
people who make assertions without citing evidence or examples to back up said assertions, a sure sign of a narcissistic personality disorder, the other sign being vehement denial of said disorder followed by attack or ridicule of diagnosis tenderer (0.8750)
drying yourself after a shower with a mildewy towel (0.8750)
fried pickles (0.8750)
Facebook applications (0.8732)
taking the hugest dump (0.8727)
Hitler's taking direct control of the German military (0.8723)
hannah montana (0.8723)
being asked for important advice and not being able to give it (0.8710)
not having hands for feet and also a tail (0.8710)
waiting too long to let go of your feelings (0.8710)
mistaking tears for repudiation of the rumours involving her kissing someone else (0.8710)
not asking your health insurance company how much an expensive dental procedure would cost before doing it (0.8710)
being born too late for tall ships and too early for spaceships (0.8696)
flashing the dog, then finding out your dad saw you (0.8696)
awfulness (0.8696)
not seizing the moment (0.8696)
losing two portable music devices in less than two months (0.8696)
having a friend who is just nice enough to keep you around, but when it comes right down to it, if you ask her for some favor in return for yours, she just utterly sucks (0.8696)
being a dick (0.8696)
not being sure you used a word right (0.8696)
forgetting just what the things were you used to enjoy so much (0.8696)
indecent exposure which does not result in the erotic frenzy that you had anticipated (0.8696)
telling my roommate who plays his guitar all the time that I am really laid back and I love hearing music all the time (0.8696)
imagining how painful a hangnail would be if it rimmed the tip of your urethra (0.8696)
not checking the toilet seat first (0.8690)
not finding more time to read (0.8686)
games that you never finished and have long since lost (0.8684)
not doing the thing you deliberately said you would (0.8684)
spending all day surfing the Internet instead of writing or drawing or whatever it is you do creatively (0.8684)
staying with the douche because you were too lazy to get out (0.8679)
what an enormous number of utterly crap films somehow get greenlit for screen (0.8667)
being sleepy (0.8667)
knowing where you want your relationship to go but not having the balls to ask or talk to your partner about such (0.8667)
implementing synergies to verticalize your platforms (0.8667)
the way passport photos highlight every blemish and imperfection (0.8667)
dropping out of highschool (0.8667)
being so exhausted you can hardly keep your eyes open, for no good reason (0.8667)
neofolk (0.8667)
that, specifically, you want to know if it's proper to say "took an object from out the container it was in" or if you have to say "out of the container" (0.8667)
the UK not having free speech (0.8667)
staying in a problematic relationship for the sake of your children (0.8667)
eating something that when eaten would result in the inability to post regrets that begin with "eating" (0.8667)
not helping that injured bird you saw (0.8667)
asking "hey, how's your dog," forgetting that her dog just tragically died (0.8667)
when your toaster wets the bed (0.8667)
that when people list regulars, you're hardly ever on the list (0.8667)
three am, when doctors say the body's at low tide, the soul is out, the blood moves slow, you're the nearest to death you'll ever be save dying, sleep is a patch of death, but three in the morn, full wide eyed staring, is living death! (0.8667)
puke (0.8667)
guessing you should probably give up on your dream for another year (0.8667)
falling asleep while cooking with the stove (0.8667)
not closing your window, though you're quite cold (0.8667)
beating that final stage, only to realize the basic emptiness of the electronic experience (0.8667)
that in recommending something to someone, you mentally pick out all of the things that they might not like about it, which in turn tarnishes your enjoyment of it a little (0.8667)
Beatallica (0.8667)
mispronouncing that fancy word (0.8667)
that it's nearly eleven again, sigh (0.8667)
that your academic plans are GONE (0.8667)
coming down with a fever in the middle of summer (0.8667)
imagining that there's a cafe somewhere where all the american apparel models hang out and talk about philosophy and indie music, and the girls hang out with their nipples poking through their shirts and their drugged up expressions (0.8667)
trying to do something in a bit of a hurry on a website that is extremely slow today (0.8667)
feeling sick when it's really nice outside (0.8667)
that there still people alive in two thousand ten who believe the White Stripes were good (0.8667)
screwing up the grumblecakes caper (0.8667)
not being one of those people who really finds it unfair that the other person doesn't make the first move, knowing that you are the cause of most of your problems, but still preferring the neutral position (0.8667)
wrecking your own car (0.8667)
ever watching The View (0.8667)
staying with someone you didn't love (0.8667)
barf (0.8667)
that you aren't not doing nothing never even though you aren't not anywhere special (0.8667)
that the only thing separating grad school from grade school is e (0.8667)
lacking the courage to tell somebody how you really felt (0.8659)
not telling a person how special they were to you (0.8654)
using the wrong tense (0.8654)
going back on your word (0.8649)
losing that irreplacable item (0.8644)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, so the author feels obligated to construct situations to show off that genius, yet the situations are so contrived and unrealistic that they could only exist in fiction (0.8636)
wasting time on the internet waiting for an email you might never get (0.8636)
Trying to eat chili straight from the pot with a ladel, and just spilling it all over your shirt (0.8636)
having either a knack for lulzy old timey jokes, postmodern merriment and general bonhomie, or wallowing in a fathomless dark hole of self abuse and hollow hearted self loathing, with no in between (0.8636)
being unable to tell (0.8636)
not taking a spare (0.8636)
republicants (0.8636)
not leaving him before he became a judgemental prick (0.8636)
searching frantically for something that ended up being in your pocket the whole time (0.8636)
offering tech support for family members (0.8636)
it taking so long to remember words (0.8636)
finding yet another way to rehash past mistakes (0.8618)
that you were born too late for tall ships, and too early for spaceships (0.8611)
being so lazy you refrained from cleaning up the dead insects on your kitchen and bathroom floors (0.8611)
answering a question without thinking about it first (0.8607)
not having met ryan north (0.8601)
sounding like a pretentious twit in your comments despite not meaning to (0.8600)
finding only yoga listings for "healing, breathing, compassionate and gentle" yoga, where's my "fire eyed punk rock shit blood and chew glass" yoga (0.8571)
being too tired to do something useful, and not having something useless to do (0.8571)
that no one votes on these anymore (0.8571)
that the grammer champeen been chosed unfairly (0.8571)
taking forever to get back to someone about a project that only takes five minutes for you to do (0.8571)
being geeky enough, but not hot enough, for cosplay (0.8571)
really believing that it's not how you look that's keeping you from a relationship, but you own fears, which somehow makes it even harder (0.8571)
making an obvious, undisputable statement, then tacking "in my opinion" at the end of it (0.8571)
lacking situations where you can say "rue the day" (0.8571)
sleeping in fergie after forgetting to wipe Mindless Self Indulgence (0.8571)
that "hurting yourself" currently has an index of ZERO (0.8571)
not getting enouhg sleep because you stayed up late on the internet for no reason (0.8571)
not leaving work before it started raining blood (0.8571)
destroying something expensive because you can't control your damned temper (0.8571)
writing a kind of excellent cover letter for a job you're not one hundred percent sure you want (0.8571)
tucking your dress into your hose (0.8571)
being afraid to live up to your full potentia (0.8571)
eating everything in two seconds (0.8571)
that nobody seems to realize nihilists make the best RPG villains, case in point Kefka (0.8571)
not discovering the Amazing Regret Index sooner (0.8571)
pretending the molestation never happened (0.8571)
being the last of your kind except for, coincidentally, your greatest enemy (0.8571)
making a promise you couldn't keep (0.8571)
tripping on DDR (0.8571)
being woken up early the one day you get to have a lie in (0.8571)
dissociating (0.8571)
Hitler (0.8571)
having to wake up before noon (0.8571)
your habit of leaving lettrs and sometimes whole out when typing things (0.8571)
turning on the wrong burner and setting your cookbook on fire (0.8571)
eating too much too often (0.8571)
saving the world by turning it invisible (0.8571)
that papercut (0.8571)
that the sky is full of dreams, but you don't know how to fly (0.8571)
excessive asparatame consumption (0.8571)
Pulling all the legs off that Grandaddy long leg (0.8571)

bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12566/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]