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recent regrets

Gordon Ramsey stung by penis on dickgirl in Sardinia
Gordon Ramsey stung by penis on jellyfish in Sardinia
raw vegan jellyfish
it was FUCKING RAW
Gordon Ramsay stung by jellyfish on penis in Sardinia
meeting you mom
you mom turtles
fuck marry kill, you mom, dickgirl you mom, fatworld you mom
you mom sent out goddamn deliberately disabled modems to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU mom
hey guys, remember you mom
you mom brags about being from West Virginia
Noah is credited only with the invention of shipping
you mom is flat on her back more often than Sylvia Browne
you mom has had more pathetic losers jerk off on her than Natalie Portman
the death of Richard Trentlage
you mom violently emerges from Kowalski's penis when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine
your mom has urinated on more Frenchmen than Jonathan Frakes
you mom has taken more huge dumps than Patrick Stewart
you mom has had casual sex with SisQo and Will Smith, separately and together
holy Pokemon Podcasters and Pinnipeds, Batman!
[ show all 119427 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) any hole's a gold
(2) Now turn around bitch, put that ass on a nigga, grind on his dick make it get a little bigger
(2) Anti Defamation League Declares Pepe the Frog Shit
(2) having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Doll Ritchie
(1) all the people getting head on graciefilms dot com
(2) being c%l
(1) talking about poop poop poop muzik
(1) forcing yourself too deep
(2) our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of walking into doors
(7) Your comment must be in English or it will be removed
[ show more ]

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top regrets

hearing your parents talk about sex they have with their partners (1.0000)
forgetting to feed your klinoppe (1.0000)
having something you've cherished since late middle school wrenched from your hands (1.0000)
reading a book for the first time in which you discover several things which you had, a few months ago but several months after the book was out, written into an as of yet incomplete short story of yours, and now feeling like you've plagiarized (1.0000)
hypergraphia (1.0000)
swan swan stupid stupid swan crappy regret swan swan swan blah blah blah meating cumguzzling blah blah blah swan swan Kento swan blah blah swan (1.0000)
butte snows (1.0000)
absorbing so much info earlier that now you can't seem to think right (1.0000)
the number nine (1.0000)
not being able to make things right (1.0000)
the Leprechaun violently emerges from Kowalski's penis when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine (1.0000)
never getting to plow you, never getting to plow all about you, never getting to ride you, never getting to hope you ride me (1.0000)
bringing up a hypothesis to a friend who immediately dismisses it, only to have the same hypothesis repeated back to your months later, as it it were an original idea (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
Scientology (1.0000)
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in Severe Ass Damage V (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
all I see is an Eiffel Tower of reams, real cum burstin' out of every seam (1.0000)
not realising that action could be interpreted in that way, and being horrified, HORRIFIED (1.0000)
not being able to use a star to abbreviate Homestar Runner with the Regret Index syntax (1.0000)
the imminent return of spam to the regret index (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
having run out of regrets, then, paradoxically, realizing this is in itself a regret, oh tearful slope of sisyphean toil! (1.0000)
listening to Chinese Japanese English hip hop (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
pewdiepie (1.0000)
insecurity (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
Kento (0.9993)
gangnam style (0.9982)
Fifty Shades of Grey (0.9906)
Sonny John Moore (0.9847)
leaving the remains of that totally awesome chocolate bar you bought earlier in your car in the summer (0.9800)
the "hey guys, remember Jaylala" regret being on the top regrets list (0.9793)
meeting Brian Peppers (0.9789)
realizing too late (0.9785)
having sex with Arthur Yehezkia (0.9737)
that Ryan is an inconsiderate jerk (0.9726)
only remembering hours later that you should have asked how HER day was (0.9714)
hey guys, remember Jaylala (0.9706)
letting the mildew get that bad (0.9683)
regardless, not knowing how to fly (0.9677)
that according to Wikipedia, Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid television writer and producer in history (0.9672)
not telling her how you really feel (0.9667)
spooning Jaylala's boobs (0.9667)
discovering in hindsight that you've been carting around the paranoia of a crappy high school relationship for years, leading you to act like everyone's going to hate you and call you a latent criminal, whereas in fact people trust and like you (0.9655)
looking a gift horse in the mouth (0.9643)
not asking her out before she left forever (0.9643)
leaving your passport in your pocket before doing the laundry (0.9630)
forgetting to reply to correspondence (0.9630)
joining the military (0.9623)
not visiting a place that intrigued you before it closed or was demolished (0.9615)
telling him to go away when really you wanted him to hold you in his arms and make everything okay (0.9615)
coming up with the perfect comeback, but only when it's far too late to use it (0.9600)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9600)
That there are no dashes on here, and therefore no good way to spell that oh so important Ryan alter ego T rex (0.9600)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9583)
not being able to get up the courage (0.9583)
spray on tans (0.9583)
Horatio (0.9583)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9583)
staying on the Internet until the sun rises again, even though you have school or work in the morning (0.9583)
really wanting to see some movies back when they were in the theater, and still not having seen them now that they are way past being on DVDstill having not seen (0.9583)
giving your email to that sketchy website (0.9574)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9565)
feeling kind of weird that all of the sudden you have such a strong interest in finding someone who could have easily just emailed you had she wanted to (0.9565)
not getting the reference (0.9545)
not being sure where in your room that rotten food smell suddenly started coming from (0.9545)
that your father asked you to help him find an external harddrive to store his porn collection (0.9545)
assuming people on the internet would know when you were joking (0.9545)
delicious foods that are far too hot to eat, ands arren't cooling down fast enough (0.9545)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9524)
oh my god, when did you stop being able to use the proper "too", it's late, you should maybe consider sleeping (0.9524)
leaving the burner on (0.9524)
teh sneeze that revealed your presence (0.9524)
consuming Hardee's products (0.9524)
blah blah blah angst angst blah blah (0.9524)
that you started using IDK, BB, DIAF and the like ironically, but they've just kind of stuck (0.9500)
only having crushes where you've resigned yourself to the fact that they will never work out (0.9500)
swearing at really, really, really inappropriate times (0.9500)
trying to make your calculator say OBOESHOES but failing because you can't fit the ninth digitletter (0.9500)
having no food (0.9500)
telling her you loved her that one time t new years eve when you should just have kissed her instead (0.9500)
eating part of the sandwich before spotting the mold (0.9500)
starting watching that epsiode of that show now, when you probably have ten minutes before you have to pack up and head home (0.9500)
the touchpad on your laptop causing all sorts of weird typos (0.9500)
not learning more languages while your brain still could (0.9487)
that your adolescence was stolen from you by depression (0.9474)
chewing on the inside of your mouth (0.9474)
trying to get your working life back on track, but instead just losing track of everything that makes you happy (0.9474)
signing up to receive MoveOn's email newsletters (0.9474)
sliding down a very rusty and dirty slide (0.9474)
mistakenly typing, for the first time every in your language nazi LIFE, the word "your" instead of "you're" in a very public forum, such as the Regret Index, for instance (0.9474)
Gorean "philosophy" (0.9474)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of the ith prime to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.9474)
used the wrong verb form (0.9474)
not knowing if acquaintances pity you, hate you, or think you're a pretty cool person (0.9474)
not being aware there was an eclipse to see (0.9474)
trying to use ebay to gague how much an item is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars (0.9474)
missing your chance (0.9459)
going to the moon and not bringing any chicks (0.9459)
not proofreading a comment before posting it and realizing you can't edit the mistake (0.9452)
that apparently you're not leaving an impression on even your friends anymore (0.9444)
furries giving regular old surreal animal headed figures a bad name (0.9444)
always choking down whatever feelings, beliefs and goals people attribute to you on the grounds that it's not like you can produce evidence to argue with (0.9444)
having the ability to finish a videogame that is nothing more than a grindfest but not being able to do anything productive (0.9444)
not knowing the appropriate number of times to call someone without them calling you back, when they call you back one time out of four, so maybe it's a hint or maybe she's socially careless (0.9444)
getting up early just to meet someone, who then doesn't turn up (0.9444)
nurrr having the dumb (0.9444)
great quotes that don't work so well in text format (0.9444)
John Grisham's "The View" (0.9444)
spending ten minutes to make coffee this morning and forgetting to drink it (0.9444)
waiting until the last moment (0.9444)
being the whole bag in one sitting (0.9444)
unintentionally leading on a good friend (0.9444)
that commenting on an old regret with comments already on it doesn't bump said regret to the top of the "recent comments" list, making "recent" a misuse of the word (0.9444)
knowing that you have to stepp things up and puut more effort in, but just really not having a good time with motivation right now (0.9444)
processed foods being so much cheaper than fresh and unprepared food (0.9444)
Contemporary Christian Music (0.9444)
forgetting to take the money dispensed out of the cash machine (0.9434)
knowing that you could have phrased that sentence more elegantly and it will haunt you forever (0.9429)
yelling at someone who didn't deserve it (0.9423)
failing to maintain a creative skill because you were too shy to show anyone your work (0.9420)
seeing so many idiots putting so much effort into being offended by things that are not even mildly offensive just because they crave attention or validation and they refuse to end themselves (0.9412)
not getting enough sleep last night, and history repeating itself tonight (0.9412)
agreeing to work another person's shift during the airdate of the finale of the only show you actually watch on television anymore, because it was early and they took you off guard (0.9412)
being unable to concentrate long enough to finish ONE PAGE of ANY book in a single sitting, let alone a whole book (0.9412)
having to wade through a ton of retarded regrets before you find something worth voting on (0.9412)
telling yourself two hours ago that you were going to go outside and paint or something (0.9412)
working rather than time traveling (0.9412)
being tense and nervous and you can't relax (0.9412)
having a moron for a landlord (0.9412)
losing your mind a little, just enough to be aware of it, but not completely enough to have loco bananas fun with it (0.9412)
watching Grey's Anatomy (0.9412)
not being a bad enough dude (0.9412)
having nothing, I mean literally absolutely fucking nothing, to do (0.9412)
meeting Brian Peppers Kento (0.9412)
waking up from a good dream and instantly forgetting what it was about (0.9412)
giving her a second chance, only to have it dashed and crushed in a fiery dazzle of emotions and pain (0.9412)
not being able to email pancakes to other people (0.9412)
giving yourself one thing to do all day and not doing it (0.9412)
only having time for a half a minute (0.9412)
letting a fart slip and then realizing you just shit your pants a little (0.9412)
watching The Hills (0.9412)
being friendless, leaving you with nobody to ask to record your favorite show (0.9412)
leaving your first real relationship to your henchmen instead of spending more time on it yourself (0.9412)
not knowing what love means (0.9412)
having thought of something that must be added to your story, but forgetting before next you work on it what it was (0.9412)
not being able to tell people to fuck off in business correspondence, without consequences (0.9412)
forgetting the awesome regret you were about to add (0.9412)
that your name is "inherently funny" instead of being "inherently badass" (0.9412)
snaring yourself in your own web of lies (0.9412)
boring season finales (0.9412)
not being able to think of any food to make from the stuff you have on hand (0.9403)
playing one of your favorite songs so many times it ceases to be special (0.9394)
taking out your anger on everyone but the person who caused it (0.9389)
realizing too late he or she wasn't just being friendly, that it was flirting (0.9379)
more than anything, you just don't like feeling unproductive and unprofitable, and you especially have guilt over getting an education in something and then struggling to make it useful (0.9375)
being that really old meat (0.9375)
that your housemate is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really have to pee (0.9375)
jerks (0.9375)
that the only quality reading time you get anymore is while you are in the bathroom (0.9375)
not being able to play Zelda I like it's the first time (0.9375)
having no qualifications (0.9375)
misjudging the color nail polish you bought and ending up with three bottles of the same color (0.9375)
when an ad or something similar uses an asterisk as if to call out a footnote, but doesn't include the actual footnote (0.9375)
not being able to find your library card (0.9375)
not being able to pick a lower quality video option in this one website so you can just watch the dang thing without it buffering every half second (0.9375)
that Juggalos are the absolute worst subculture the world has yet to produce, as though they were part of some kind of secret government project to create a genetically engineered Super Retard by combining the DNA of wiggers, rednecks, and goths (0.9375)
minnesota (0.9375)
unfounded suspicions (0.9375)
not correctly conjugating your damn regret (0.9375)
not starting that project sooner (0.9375)
being automatically associated with those who use reddit (0.9375)
having an unhappy friend who doesn't bring up directly what they're unhappy about, and not being sure how to make them feel better or if it's possible at all (0.9375)
not being able to do enough (0.9375)
Return of the Jedi was made (0.9375)
not studying for my exam, and not shoeing up to a single lecture all year (0.9375)
never having heard of metaplasmus before now even though you've seen it in practice countless times (0.9375)
being so deeply embedded in the sexless, socially awkward persona you've created for yourself, probably as a defense mechanism, that now that you want to change you're really having trouble getting out (0.9375)
saying something stupid in an attempt to impress a hero with your wit and whimsy (0.9375)
meating Brian Peppers (0.9375)
getting your sad all over the place (0.9375)
being part of the vicious circle that lowers the price of illustration and design, because you don't know how to price and when you're that desperate to make a living off of something meaningful to you, you'll take the cheap jobs, and work for exposure (0.9375)
not being able to think of decent comebacks (0.9375)
forgetting that piece of chocolate on your poket so when you put your hand back in you find it almost melt (0.9375)
not doing your homework a few times and realizing you may fail your course because of this (0.9375)
following that link even though you knew vaguely what it led to (0.9375)
that due to serverlag and games never finishing brokenpicturetelephone dot com has become the worst possible execution of the best possible idea (0.9375)
playing furcadia (0.9375)
that someone will eventually start spamming the site (0.9355)
blowing it (0.9333)
never practicing the piano as much as you should, even though you like it more than you say you do (0.9333)
weight loss ads where the "before" and "after" are clearly two different people (0.9333)
even reading the term Brangelina (0.9333)
not applying for that job sooner (0.9333)
leaving your twelve pack of soda in the grocery store parking lot in the bottom of the cart (0.9333)
not realizing you misspelled a regret before submitting it so all the comments on it end up being about the error instead of the actual regret (0.9333)
having a sticky e key, apparently (0.9333)
not knowing which is more smug, a swan or a canadian goose (0.9333)
stretching your legs and it feels so good until OH GOD CRAMP (0.9333)
those other three Tremors movies (0.9333)
being a Korean soccer fan now (0.9333)
marrying a person that you already knew was mentally ill (0.9333)
buying that expensive thing that doesn't actually work better than the cheaper thing (0.9333)
getting all zonked on the angel dust and acting like a tough, but you ain't nothin' but a queer from Philly, see (0.9333)
clumsy fingers (0.9333)
watching the Dragonball movie (0.9333)
trying to writeth yon novel entire in Olde Englishe despite having thou only vaguest notion of what people hath conversedeth similar to in such times past , and abusing the suffixeth "eth" throughout, as well as the language in general, forsooth, verily (0.9333)
taking an exam to discover it had little to no questions about the material covered in class (0.9333)
forgetting to wash the clothes you have to wear tomorrow until just now (0.9333)
lending your bees to a dishonest beekeeper (0.9333)
taking a trip down memory lane, but then getting jackknifed on bitter regret turnpike (0.9333)
your pen is exploding (0.9333)
not finishing off the protagonist when he was weak and inexperienced, and instead sending a stream of minions on a shallow difficulty curve that perfectly matched his increasing power (0.9333)
waking up today with a sore throat and possible lung affliction, after having no developing symptoms and not being able to think what you could have done to cause this sickness (0.9333)
realizing that she thought of you as a weird creep all along and you thought you had a nice conversation (0.9333)
synaptic misfires (0.9333)
never teling her you've been crazy about her since you met (0.9333)
a wild Thom Yorke appears! (0.9333)
rediscovering shitty music at just the worst time (0.9333)
thinking, worrying, that the rest of the Regret Index considers you to be a grouch, a prude, a party hyphen pooper (0.9333)
David Carradine dying in a puddle of his own Bill spill (0.9333)
people who use the phrase "internship position" as a more positive way to say "unpaid position", even though there are such things as paid internships (0.9333)
Open Office being frozen, and you can't just end the program and restart it because of your unsaved data which is in fact extremely important (0.9333)
only having crushes where you're totally deluded that they cannot help but work out, then pursuing them with a full tilt zeal that would make the Luftwaffe seem like a buncha Luftwafflers, amirite (0.9333)
being at a loss for what to do until it's dark and cool enough for the writing frenzy to kick in (0.9333)
Sucking your thumb as a child and now you have to wear braces (0.9333)
being a passive aggressive roommate (0.9333)
giving up your pets for the sake of a partner (0.9333)
crying like a baby at the end of a DVD series, but at the moment barely having a life of your own (0.9333)
staying up in order to accomplish something, but just sitting around instead (0.9333)
those song with a minute or so of silence at the beginning (0.9310)
knowing what to do, and not doing it (0.9310)
not washing your dishes and letting bugs take over your kitchen (0.9310)
failing at coming off witty when trying to befriend someone (0.9310)
reacting angrily to reasonable advice (0.9302)
a life of regret (0.9302)
forgetting to check on the pizza in the oven (0.9302)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (0.9286)
the long decline (0.9286)
being too ashamed about something to even vent anonymously (0.9286)
regret index bromance (0.9286)
screwing Andy (0.9286)
finally finding a job to apply to, but having the listing removed right as you're about to apply for it (0.9286)
liking the idea of the new Johnny Depp gangster video, but the trailers you've seen look like they were all shot on unlit digital video (0.9286)
losing the piece of paper that had all of your plans scribbled on it (0.9286)
letting out a fart, but accidentally following through (0.9286)
uninvited implosive bachelor (0.9286)
lolcode (0.9286)
drinking the water in Mexico (0.9286)
realising that the girl you love probably was interested in you, but now it's too late (0.9286)
hearing so much about how people fool themselves that you no longer feel able to authoritatively say anything about what you were or weren't thinking at a particular time (0.9286)
the time you lost five pages of something because you didn't save often enough (0.9286)
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine (0.9286)
not telling off your condescending friends (0.9286)
when something you intend to use just sits around sadly, reminding you of how lazy you are (0.9286)
network decay (0.9286)
accidentally washing your USB drive (0.9286)
seeing a little puppy waddle past the window and not rushing out of the restaurant, bill unpaid, to make sure it wasn't lost (0.9286)
not floozing more often (0.9286)
kidney stones (0.9286)
being too honest, or rather too bad at lying, to tell guys you're not attacracted to that you have a boyfriend, so they just keep talking at you anyway (0.9286)
ever loaning anything to stupid fucking stoners (0.9286)
not understanding this thing Earthlings call "love" (0.9286)
losing that little bit of credibility for doing that one thing (0.9286)
being bored (0.9286)
that despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart (0.9286)
having what is about two hundred dollars to your name (0.9286)
posting on the regret index rather than manning up and just calling the damn could be sweety already (0.9286)
experiencing a sudden, crippling burst of writer's block, possibly due to sleep deprivation (0.9286)
that a douchebag is a hygienic product and so I will take that as a compliment (0.9286)
reading that one webcomic long after it stopped being funny (0.9286)
following the instructions for growing a tail, but instead summoning a miniature bigfoot who slashes at your ankles with a razor (0.9286)
not really being sure what happened to your sentence there (0.9286)
thinking of Kento as your token Asian friend (0.9286)
finding some really fucked up fanart online (0.9286)
thinking of a frikkin' sweet regret, postponing adding it until you'd finished voting or commenting your current regret, then forgetting the regret you'd only recently concocted (0.9286)
that you've always just gotten involved in something that takes up all your atention, when your friend says goodnight and leaves the internet (0.9286)
not having the time to learn more about something (0.9286)
going through all the trouble of tracking and killing that sasquatch then slacking off and forgetting to zombify it (0.9286)
seeing someone change their art because someone else went out of their way to find something to be offended by (0.9286)
being attractive enough to be hit on but not socially aware enough to do anything about it (0.9286)
leaving that personal ad about liking pina coladas & getting caught in the rain (0.9286)
loaning your Magic Bullet to a fucking swan (0.9286)
throwing up into your own mouth and tasting it twice (0.9286)
watching The Time Traveler's Wife and the Babysitter and the Pizza Delivery Guy and Also a Couple of Black Guys (0.9286)
straining relations (0.9286)
buying fruit and not getting around to eating it before it spoils (0.9286)
not having that conversation (0.9286)
thinking of a good regret to add but when you finally go to add it having forgotten it (0.9286)
assuming that lamenting about a problem precludes any action to solve that problem (0.9286)
not knowing if you have a boyfriend or just a boy who is going through all the motions (0.9286)
that so many people are so stupid (0.9286)
working for a jerk (0.9286)
walrus ayn rand chris lydon nomos nomoi nomos nomoi nomos (0.9286)
waiting until things are perfect, and since things are never perfect, never getting around to anything (0.9286)
not cleaning your room until moving out of the house and discovering that it was pretty big after all (0.9286)
being very bad at explaining your worldview to people, causing them to think that you're pretentious and judgemental (0.9286)
that Michael Cera plays the same role in everything he is in (0.9286)
waiting to let Obama jerk off (0.9286)
waking up just as it was about to be revealed (0.9286)
constipation (0.9286)
that all your loves have been unrequited (0.9286)
debating whether or not to go to bed before it is even dark out because you can't think of anything better to do (0.9286)
the slow death of the regret index (0.9286)
not washing your hands (0.9286)
ugh, not putting more effort into it (0.9286)
that there's a restaurant in Tokyo where you can watch girls poo and then eat it (0.9286)
that soylent green isn't people in the book (0.9286)
misplacing your virginity and not being sure where you left it, though it was probably on the bus (0.9286)
being so friggin' hungry you start to feel ill (0.9286)
when a stupid band does a cover of a song that becomes better known than the awesome original, and whenever you mention the song people assume you're talking about the crappy cover (0.9286)
that hardly anyone on here takes the Index seriously, so all you find is things like licking dead people (0.9286)
wrecking your own car (0.9286)
watching a TV series online, then getting midway and being unable to find a working video anywhere on the web and not being able to carry on (0.9286)
letting the chips get soggy (0.9286)
having all of these half drawn figures that you really like, but not knowing what to do with them (0.9286)
po! po! po! po! popozao! popozao! (0.9286)
the moment when your brakes lock and you slide towards the big truck (0.9286)
not being against doing art for free, but being overwhelmed by the expectation of it, from businesses who can afford to pay, and people who make demands and pretty much say they will treat you like shit in return for nothing more than "portfolio building" (0.9286)
that rumors of a Sailor Moon movie center around Lindsay Lohan and not Alexis Bledel, I mean duh (0.9286)
not building that giant robot when you had the chance (0.9273)
the sequel (0.9259)
The lip at the opening of the cheap bags of cereal under which all the cereal gets trapped while trying to pour it out (0.9259)
something you HAVE done (0.9245)
not being able to finish anything you've ever started (0.9239)
having a painful eye, as though there were an eyelash or something in it, but not seeing the culprit (0.9231)
being given the cold shoulder (0.9231)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (0.9231)
being too afraid to tell your partner where you want your relationship to go, thus giving the impression that you don't know or don't care (0.9231)
getting eaten by a big fat cow that eats you (0.9231)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (0.9231)
shamelessly downloading music on your laptop for four years without any problems, but when you update Java on the same laptop that damned XP Antivirus malware slips through and nearly kills it (0.9231)
wearing that LIVEstrong bracelet for six months straight (0.9231)
telling your best friend that you've been in love with her steady boyfriend for months (0.9231)
finally meeting someone who was nice to you only to drive them off with your awful personality quirks (0.9231)
only having boring DVDs to (0.9231)
that sometimes its hard to know which way you're supposed to go (0.9231)
shows or other videos being offered for free on their official websites, but those website not working on your computer for some reasons, and you not being able to find less legit ways of watching said videos, because no one feels the need to repost them (0.9231)
that, if you think about it, the plot of "The Time Traveler's Wife" kind of reinforces the stereotype that a woman should stay at home and have babies and patiently wait for the man who is out having adventures (0.9231)
never learning to parallel park and now that you live in a city, it's kind of an important skill (0.9231)
that if Ryan doesn't periodically tweak the 'dex, you have no way to explain the occasional changes, like the regret lists on the sidebar suddenly changing, or that thing last year when commenting on regrets temporarily bumped them up the recent comments (0.9231)
not actually being sure what you meant by "that scene", you guess you maybe meant the hanging out in public spaces with other people scene (0.9231)
only barely trying anymore, not trying at all when your clothes are on (0.9231)
only biking east (0.9231)
this time around, being the person whp replied seriously to a joke, even though you had an inkling it was a joke, kind of (0.9231)
speaking PUNjabi (0.9231)
that someone on the old regret index made a regret about a sex dream they had about you, but they never told you who they were (0.9231)
possibly leading someone you're not interested in on, as a result of your inability to be rude and truthful (0.9231)
watching Eragon OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit (0.9231)
not applying yourself to something you cared about (0.9231)
not knowing whether it would be better to respond to an email or to ignore it (0.9231)
being murdered (0.9231)
shitty advice (0.9231)
that most vegan food smells like an infected glans (0.9231)
actually, very nearly coming to terms with your body image as seen in mirrors and stuff, but still hating youself in almost every photograph you've ever been in (0.9231)
having to shave your moustache, despite being a chick (0.9231)
being in love with yourself and not loving yourself back (0.9231)
believing yourself so smart anyone who disagrees with you must be stupid, evil, or brainwashed (0.9231)
having contracted swine flu and now you can't stop oinking (0.9231)
making up statistics about fridge deaths, but not bothering to write them down and forgetting them (0.9231)
traveling through time and accidentally materializing in the same spot as your past self (0.9231)
haha, I really screwed that one up (0.9231)
your body wanting you to get pregnant every month, and tricking you into wanting to eat everything as a result, among other things (0.9231)
what an enormous number of utterly crap Seth MacFarlane series somehow get greenlit for TV (0.9231)
waking up with what looks like a crime scene in your pants (0.9231)
that the thrill is here but it won't last long (0.9231)
that your cat wants to play fetch, which is all fine and good and kind of cute, but you're trying to type as she walks across the keyboard to drop her little twist tie right in front of you (0.9231)
being tired during the day and wide awake at night (0.9231)
failing the life school of life (0.9231)
being woken repeatedly for no damn reason by someone or something irritating and trivial (0.9231)
people spitting on the pavement (0.9231)
Evony ads (0.9231)
wasting not, but still wanting (0.9231)
picking up that cat from the foreclosed home across the street because all it does is meow, constantly reminding you of your failures and shortcomings, like losing a house for example (0.9231)
needing a cash infusion, stat (0.9231)
failing to duck (0.9231)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (0.9231)
lying to her, leaving her, hurting her horribly, and then realizing you're still in love with her (0.9231)
irregular bowels (0.9231)
that you're probably pretty bad at interviews, but that's okay, since no one ever replies to your applications anyway (0.9231)
getting no comments on your latest DA submission, because it isn't fanart, furry, or porn (0.9231)
the relentless grinding toil of wage slavery (0.9231)
thinking that you're rebellious because you listen to hard rock and watch violent movies (0.9231)
being mistaken for antisocial and so ending up with no friends, when really you're just incredibly shy (0.9231)
that employers can get away with writing job postings that pay no respect to spelling or grammar (0.9231)
that wine is not an emulator, only it is (0.9231)
doing that thing that you regret (0.9231)
mistaking the glowy sky demon for the flamey sky demon and calling all your friends while they were asleep (0.9231)
culling the logical conclusion (0.9231)
not knowing how to accept a compliment (0.9231)
that putting diamonds on the soles of your shoes is totally impractical because nobody will see them and they'll just fall off anyway (0.9231)
that you can't even express the flaws you find in that logic (0.9231)
being betrayed by someone you thought you could look up to and admire (0.9231)
crappy busted ass Earthlink (0.9231)
needing money to make money (0.9231)
being a hypocrite (0.9231)
not sleeping enough (0.9231)
hearing a mix tape you thought was awesome but now realize was terrible (0.9231)
not baing able to curl up into a ball to protect yourself from predators (0.9231)
that your cat loves licking everything, such as the floor, the shower curtain, the box fan, and bottles of potentially dangerous chemicals if you don't put them away (0.9231)
falling down the stairs (0.9231)
that so many actresses have such generically beautiful faces, that it's difficult to even describe them in terms of features in a way that will differentiate them from other actresses (0.9231)
domain hacks (0.9231)
dwelling on regret (0.9231)
counting on someone you thought was your friend, only to realize they only like you when you're available (0.9219)
Not knowing exactly how to get to the results without voting, thus bumping up and down various regrets (0.9200)
living through a terrible event yourself, but still being unable to think of what to say when it happens to someone else (0.9200)
wussing out and NOT kissing that attractive girl (0.9200)
that you have some concerns about the way things are done at work, but you never say anything about it because you're convinced that no one's going to listen to you anyway (0.9200)
washing your plane ticket with your jeans and socks (0.9200)
not trusting your instincts (0.9189)
not knowing how to ask for help when you needed it most (0.9178)
not going to the bathroom before you left the house (0.9175)
coming back only to find out that your craving for brains really gets in the way of forming a meaningful relationship (0.9167)
not being able to cross between the two worlds (0.9167)
freely using "ironically" when you mean "unfortunately" (0.9167)
not wiping up that last trace of blood (0.9167)
these bananas being shitty, s h i t t y (0.9167)
having nothing to live for and no means to live with, but not wanting to die either (0.9167)
logging into Brian Peppers (0.9167)
buying Team Fortress Two for your girlfriend (0.9167)
that some silicone sister with her manager mister told you you got what it takes, she said she'd turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky breaks (0.9167)
that when you hit puberty and finally got your horns that they weren't the long cool black and twisted kind like Dad has, but the shorter goat kind (0.9167)
recieving the wrong grade results and making life choices based on those, only to find out too late (0.9167)
being so tired, but half waiting up expecting a phone call (0.9167)
having all of the fun of a hangover without any of the fun of actually drinking the night before (0.9167)
stepping on your music player because you left it in your coat pocket and your coat on the floor (0.9167)
catching a chronic but fairly minor disease while traveling (0.9167)
Today's Sedentary Lifestyles (0.9167)
being a little in love with Egg Girl, you really need to spend less time online (0.9167)
leaving the milk in the fridge too long (0.9167)
regrorts (0.9167)
the Humorless Bland Agreement Bandit (0.9167)
having no desire to sleep, but having an obligation to do so (0.9167)
that it all seems like a stopgap (0.9167)
that your roommate is home once again, and once again you wish they were elsewhere (0.9167)
agreeing to help that person with building their website (0.9167)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (0.9167)
the Hypercritical Index (0.9167)
imagining that you must be exhausting to know (0.9167)
thinking someone maybe likes you but you're probably wrong, you are an unlovable monster after all (0.9167)
being scammed so repeatedly that it's become second habit to accept defeat as some sort of martyr's "victory" (0.9167)
being too afraid to ask you partner where your relationship is going in case they give an answer you don't want to hear (0.9167)
clumsy brains (0.9167)
sweating (0.9167)
usually feeling like apologizing for your anxiety, but recently having been helped by your shrink to understand that it's not something that needs to be apologized for, although you still don't get this on a subconscious level (0.9167)
another stupid network website using the stupid Move player that doesn't work for you (0.9167)
not going to watch that grudge match between God and Satan, because seriously you guys, it was awesome (0.9167)
that sometimes it feels like you will never be making enough money to break even, let alone actually get ahead (0.9167)
falling in a bottomless pit (0.9167)
locking your keys in the car while thinking to yourself that you're locking your keys in the car (0.9167)
loving chocolate, only to find that it sometimes gives you migraines if you eat it (0.9167)
making jokes in base thirteen (0.9167)
not minding your own bismuth (0.9167)
fucking ohio (0.9167)
that nobody seems to realize the "people suck" attitude is self perpetuating, because by living that way you're just contributing to the overall selfishness of society (0.9167)
eating colon (0.9167)
that Charlie Brown never gets to kick the damn football (0.9167)
that you ate mayonnaise that was four months old and expired (0.9167)
Gwyneth Paltrow too (0.9167)
that BAD sketch comedy has killed the parody (0.9167)
listening to the Sugababes (0.9167)
being all shy for most of the year and as a result she is merely your good friend (0.9167)
that you would get a tattoo, and you even know what it would be, if you could think of a place on your body that you liked enough to put it (0.9167)
never having had cable, therefore having missed the Mystery Science Theater craze, you little pampered Anita (0.9167)
collapsing in on yourself with bitterness and solitude (0.9167)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (0.9167)
calling heads, but the sexy coin turned up tails (0.9167)
hearing thirty seconds of Kung Fu Panda through a closed door and deciding that not only do you not want to watch it, but that you never want to think "panda herpes" again (0.9167)
regularly taking fish oil supplements (0.9167)
trying to read Moby Dick once, oh god (0.9167)
downloading video where the sound doesn't match the visual (0.9167)
not being able to find that clitoris (0.9167)
that if you wash your clothes, you'll have to stay up for another hour to dry them, but if you don't you'll be stinky tomorrow (0.9167)
swans taking our jobs (0.9167)
whining about regrets on the internet, where no one really gives a shit (0.9167)
that the tank thong combines the comfort of a tank top and the discomfort of a thong (0.9167)
spending way too much on groceries that will likely get all moldy and gross before you can reasonably use them (0.9167)
people who leave stuff lying around in public places, like it's someone else's job to clean up after them, seriously (0.9167)
building an Ayn Randroid (0.9167)
that there can't be just one Facebook app for all of these god damn quizzes, you mean you want to take some of the quizzes, but you don't want to add a new app every single time (0.9167)
empty, hollow gestures (0.9167)
making a ridiculous sweeping generalization, then tacking 'to me' at the beginning of it (0.9167)
thinking that you've gotten even stupider in the time the Index was down, I mean you remember making a lot of mistakes then, but now it's just crazy (0.9167)
not getting enough sleep (0.9167)
breaking your Grandmother's wrist (0.9167)
that you tried to make a joke, but you bleu it (0.9167)
needing a haircut and having a new, competent stylist you like, but really having no idea what you want to do with it (0.9167)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, but never show it, not because it's part of their character but because the author or writers are too dumb (0.9167)
that you make me feel like crying (0.9167)
the death of webcomics before their plot is completed (0.9167)
that you were going to buy that Tako piece that Agent FiftySeven made but you didn't because you couldn't (0.9167)
that your requited crush turned out, upon closer examination, to be a boring, self absorbed pain in the ass, and now the sticky problem of how to get rid of them without hurting their feelings (0.9167)
post nasal drip (0.9167)
that people are so bad at taking direction and piking up on visual cues (0.9167)
waking up to a high pitched chittering sound coming from outside your window (0.9167)
always wondering if things were ingrained in your personality since youth, or if they're a result of the grief you went through, and if you'll ever really get over that, because you keep trying and ending up in the same place (0.9167)
middle aged men with fake tans, bleached blond hair, and pink nailpolish (0.9167)
not feeling qualified for most things, lately (0.9167)
not knowing enough about writing, you feel, to know whether you've done it successfully (0.9167)
,,, ,'' ,' ', ,,, (0.9167)
often saying things like "I'm pretty sure" when what you really mean is that you're completely and utterly certain (0.9167)
Captain Jean Luke Skywalker (0.9167)
sitting next to someone who really stinks on the bus (0.9167)
being a jerky mcjerkface to the ones you love (0.9167)
no one taking advantage of these excellent tatas (0.9167)
playing hungry angry achey puffy bleeding mess hippos with your ornery peach canning aunt when all you wanted was to play hungry hungry hippos instead (0.9167)
not saving your game (0.9167)
spending most of a night playing Lumines (0.9167)
feeling iffy from lithium (0.9167)
contracting swine flu from your piggy bank (0.9167)
not using your handle when it comes to insulting musicians (0.9167)
not knowing where to price things you're selling, so that it's a fair price, maybe even skewed to your advantage, but not too expensive for people to buy it (0.9167)
misuse of the word "epoch" (0.9167)
that the "asians" section on that porno site is full of pics of forty year old obese indians (0.9167)
grumping up the place (0.9167)
innocent actions being misconstrued by others as sexual advances (0.9167)
your bionic left arm that wont let you type askfj iowu vn fhlsdkajf (0.9167)
swatting that mosquito when you were wearing a white shirt and now you have a big blood stain on your sleeve (0.9167)
THEY TOOK YER JOBS! (0.9167)
they literally had the poor bastard stuck in a corner with his back against the wall and sweat rolling down his face (0.9167)
breaking the pendants you are working on (0.9167)
falling behind on emails, deviantart submissions, and bill payment (0.9167)
that the killer what took me is entitilitis (0.9167)
failing to talk to someone due to embarassment (0.9167)
not making a back up (0.9149)
throwing away the amulet the old gypsy woman gave you for protection (0.9149)
writing poems you kind of like, but posting them on a nearly deserted livejournal, and then being scared of pointing them out to anyone because that might be obnoxious (0.9149)
not standing up for yourself (0.9144)
wrongeous anger (0.9130)
spending the last of your money a week before payday (0.9130)
not being able to edit regrets in order to correct spelling and grammar (0.9130)
not knowing what to change your name to (0.9130)
failing to take hints (0.9109)
not being able to tell if you or the other person gave up on the friendship first (0.9091)
having gaps in your CV (0.9091)
that at least the old Evony ads were slutty in a fantasy sort of way, these new ones aren't even trying (0.9091)
that The goggles do nothing! (0.9091)
never really knowing what happened (0.9091)
that your sister owns all of the John Bellairs books you read growing up, so you can't just crack one open and start rereading it now (0.9091)
wanting to comment one someone's old Facebook item or picture, but not doing it because you think that would be weird because secretly you're lookingat their old items and photos because you loooooooove them (0.9091)
losing your connections (0.9091)
adding a comment to the wrong regret (0.9091)
fucking bastard sexists who come up with shit like "Man Law" (0.9091)
Ron Tario (0.9091)
getting so annoyed with yourself for the mopey pessimism, but just getting mopier and more pessimistic as a result (0.9091)
watching that video where a skinny guy sits down on like a three foot long dildo and you're all like "oh big deal it's just a camera trick, he just sat down in front of it" and then you can see it pushing around in his stomach and you want todie (0.9091)
having a football shaped head (0.9091)
people who know a little music theory that fight over whether the major or minor scales are better, when both are just different ways of interpreting a single pitch class set (0.9091)
finding the ANY key and then pressing it when you weren't specificially asked to (0.9091)
going to college or uni and somehow managing to be the only person to not make any friends there (0.9091)
the treachery of images (0.9091)
that the only people you can really ask for advice are sleeping (0.9091)
being pigeonholed (0.9091)
the familiar sound of your cat vomiting in the next room (0.9091)
really not getting the pony eye blowing regrets (0.9091)
your bad memory (0.9091)
thinking that Michael Jackson's skin color transition from black to white was something he did on purpose, only to discover later that it was due to a rare skin disease which destroyed the pigment in his skin (0.9091)
only learning to cut loose and have fun AFTER graduating college (0.9091)
that you've gone from getting blown nightly to getting blown off, amirite (0.9091)
being hoisted by your own petard (0.9091)
that five years ago you would have been thrilled to see a Tim Burton version of Alice, but now you feel it's just another movie with Johnny Depp in it (0.9091)
being a little afraid to post about your goal of eating your way through every street fair this summer, as your metabolism not only makes you thin but apparently also insensitive to others not so freakish in the DNA department (0.9091)
regrets, perod (0.9091)
that even if your attempts at logic are nonsensical, they're still enough to persuade yourself (0.9091)
the swan above the port, the color of television, tuned to a dead channel (0.9091)
writing crappy dialogue (0.9091)
asking out the cute waitress at your favorite restaurant, because she said no and now you can't go to your favorite restaurant anymore (0.9091)
only asking her out when it was too late (0.9091)
making mistakes (0.9091)
internet psychologists (0.9091)
hot grits (0.9091)
dying your blonde hair dark brown (0.9091)
lemon tree (0.9091)
losing your first love, which happened to be a sweet vintage bike (0.9091)
having already run out of things to do by eight forty five on a Sunday morning (0.9091)
not trying to make everyone feel bad for you, which you think it probably seems like, just not being able to keep the anxiety inside, because then it gets even worse (0.9091)
being a little bored and lonely (0.9091)
signing up for that MMO game (0.9091)
the scariness of putting money down on an idea you're not sure will work out (0.9091)
spending thirty seven dollars plus tax on that Che Guevera tshirt (0.9091)
not knowing morse code by ,,,, , ,' ,', ' (0.9091)
sending someone a couple of instant messages, only to have them sign off a few minutes later without even replying (0.9091)
buying a ridiculously expensive treadmill, only to have it sit unused in your garage (0.9091)
being horny but not having any suitable potential sex partners around (0.9091)
wanting to introduce your friends to the Regret Index, but since, as you regard it as the internet's backward turned optic nerve of enlightenment, and these people dwell near the darkened rim of its asshole, you feel it would be a bad match (0.9091)
not making the city more welcoming to your friend who recently moved here and isn't liking it much, because you are too busy trying to figure out how to make a living, and being pretty miserable yourself (0.9091)
fanwank effecting the plot of your favorite show (0.9091)
Kanye West (0.9091)
SA no longer being readable by non members (0.9091)
having to move out of uni accomodation, since oh god there's so much stuff to pack (0.9091)
having a rough nap (0.9091)
that assholes are such assholes (0.9091)
eating the little girl (0.9091)
that you would probably save a lot of money if you just rented one small keg a month (0.9091)
the critic (0.9091)
calling your boyfriend or girlfriend, just to say hi and tell them you miss them, but for some reason picking a fight instead (0.9091)
drawing that comet so that the tail pointed in the opposite direction of its motion rather than away from the sun (0.9091)
being sorta interested in trying a "beer float", except it seems like a terrible waste of both beer and ice cream (0.9091)
sinking time (0.9091)
that fanwikis are destined to fail because anyone who spends enough time on the computer to contribute to them has the social skills of a brain damaged baboon (0.9091)
dyeing in vein (0.9091)
the binbag splitting (0.9091)
despising someone, except for with your penis (0.9091)
not knowing what to say when you heard her mother had died, and therefore not calling her to see how she was doing (0.9091)
El Cisne Loco (0.9091)
that you should have graduated college by now (0.9091)
Bandwidth limits in Australia (0.9091)
having blisters on your fingers (0.9091)
when a shitty band covers a great song, I'm looking at you My Chemical Romance (0.9091)
cluttering Firefox with so many addons that, really, the browser portion of the window is so small as to be unuseable (0.9091)
an angry bleeding mess of a swan (0.9091)
taking social cues from a number of movies and television shows in which the protagonists are obviously very interested in each other, but must never, no never, admit it to each other, anyone else, or sometimes even themselves (0.9091)
assuming that animal that looked like it was smiling was happy (0.9091)
having actually liked BonziBuddy back in the day until you realized it was spyware (0.9091)
being a twit on Twitter (0.9091)
hank driving all the way to springfield to watch bart's peewee football game (0.9091)
the regret index having no edit function (0.9091)
getting into an "open relationship" (0.9091)
knowing that it'll take your whole damn life to make this right (0.9091)
meeting that Fall Out Boy (0.9091)
selling your soul to the devil, retroactively erasing your entire marriage, to save the life of your elderly aunt who'll probably die in a year or two anyway (0.9091)
forgetting which day your final exam is and subsequently missing it (0.9091)
coming home early, being bored, rediscovering Nanosaur Two on your computer (0.9091)
deciding not to do laundry and instead wear mildewy bloodstained underwear from your laundry pile (0.9091)
having trouble seeing the point in trying, when you get no response (0.9091)
that you very nearly had the dative case down when your senior year of German ended, and you haven't taken any classes since (0.9091)
lending your favorite book and your favorite comic to your girlfriend of less than two months only to have her dump you and never give them back (0.9091)
misspelling "McClane" (0.9091)
being too tired to write (0.9091)
being unemployed, and feeling unable to become employed (0.9091)
crying over a boy on the way home from school, only to have your aunt find out and tell your grandmother, who lectures you about it at work (0.9091)
that female porn stars usually have faces well below average (0.9091)
letting your keyboard get filthy (0.9091)
pressing the enter key instead of shift (0.9091)
that pop country western seems to have adopted cock rock's regrettable irritating swagger, only with pot bellies and redneckery (0.9091)
Evony and Ibory (0.9091)
not smothering Sky Dayton with a Thetan infested modem when you had a chance (0.9091)
accidentally using than instead of then (0.9091)
only seeming to feel scared or motivated around three in the morning, when it seems impossible to do anything about it (0.9091)
two undernourished egos (0.9091)
that once you get your scent on them, the mother won't take them back (0.9091)
eating so much rubbish (0.9091)
the bad taste in music of people in convertibles sitting at a nearby traffic light (0.9067)
receiving a fortune cookie containing no fortune at a restaurant (0.9063)
being unable to think of indecent comebacks (0.9048)
liking video fighting games, the two dimensional kind, but never making any friends to play them with (0.9048)
veneral diseases (0.9048)
having problems at home, but not being able to move out yet (0.9048)
burning the tomato sauce that you canned and have been eating all year (0.9048)
that your love of synching video to music in interesting or inappropriate ways clashes with your hate of searching for a legitamate clip on Youtube and getting a hundred fan made music videos featuring Evanescence songs back instead (0.9048)
forgetting to check for typos (0.9048)
that emo kids and angsty teenagers have warped people's view of what depression really is (0.9048)
that countries will enter a war without first setting definite goals and definite plans as to how to accomplish them (0.9048)
waking up earlier than usual, but then dicking around so you'll probably still be late to work (0.9048)
debt (0.9048)
that this thing doesn't cycle through all of the regrets when you're on a voting roll and you keep voting on the same ones over and over again (0.9045)
that people don't laugh at your jokes, but they do laugh at your serious suggestions (0.9024)
not putting away a small amount of money every month since I started working (0.9024)
running late (0.9000)
feeling sleepy for the first time in months on a night when you should stay up to get some work done (0.9000)
tripping and falling into Kento's GAPING ASSHOLE (0.9000)
not being able to figure out if you are depressed (0.9000)
making mountains out of molehills (0.9000)
being depressed over your failure to achieve something that was implausible anyway (0.9000)
breaking her trust (0.9000)
mildewy (0.9000)
Eating way too much because if its gonna cost that much you're going to get your fill (0.9000)
not realizing that underneath all that shit, he just wanted help (0.9000)
assuming it was obvious (0.8989)
being so screwed up by the past that you never give love a chance (0.8986)
drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth (0.8986)
not running fast enough (0.8980)
being shy (0.8974)
telling a joke you hadn't thought all the way through (0.8970)
forgetting passwords (0.8966)
having rich inner monologues that melt away as soon as you begin to write (0.8966)
breaking your resolve (0.8966)
being unable to talk to people unless you have a "good" reason to (0.8966)
getting so awkward when you're caught off your guard (0.8966)
having no friends in the city where you live and turning to this site for some semblance of social intercourse (0.8966)
not saying at least "hello" (0.8959)
being born too late for tall ships, and too early for space ships (0.8947)
not shaving your legs ever, but shaving your pubes for someone once, leading you to look mangy (0.8947)
allowing xkcd to become unfunny (0.8947)
stepping on gum (0.8947)
finding every interaction with this one person to be delightful, but not taking any action (0.8947)
bad speling and grammer (0.8947)
letting him break your heart again (0.8947)
not kissing people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.8947)
being to poor to build your own robot butler (0.8947)
an hero lolwut facepalmjpg (0.8947)
regrets written in the first person (0.8947)
that the person who did your job before you had no filing abilities and you have to spend so much of your time sifting through randomly named files all the time and the system (0.8947)
losing what little nerve you had (0.8947)
learning your best friend was a closet furry (0.8947)
that you didn't take more pictures (0.8936)
that the good times are over (0.8936)
confusing your horniness for loneliness (0.8929)
abandoning your values (0.8929)
drying yourself with a mildewy towel (0.8929)
calling someone by the wrong name in front of all their friends (0.8923)
not making your move when you had the chance (0.8922)
going through too much bullshit just to mess with the wrong person for you (0.8913)
staying in that dead end job because it required less work than following your dream (0.8901)
not backing up my data (0.8897)
cashing in a winning scratch off ticket just to buy some losing ones (0.8889)
telling your ex girlfriend you loved someone else for a mojority of your relationship, then wanting to get back with her (0.8889)
being expected not to offend anyone else, ever (0.8889)
that Captain K'nuckles is a dick (0.8889)
that monocles and top hats are not in style (0.8889)
hunting the wumpus to extinction (0.8889)
having the same cough for six months (0.8889)
orphaned puppies with a hurt paw crying alone in the rain (0.8889)
strangers telling you to 'cheer up' and smile when you weren't even aware of being anything less than fine (0.8889)
losing touch with old friends (0.8889)
not tightening the lug nuts (0.8889)
waking up tired everyday (0.8889)
not knowing what to eat, and ending up eating nothing (0.8889)
making mistkakes (0.8889)
misuse of apostrophe's (0.8889)
contractual obligations (0.8889)
anaphylactic shock (0.8889)
misspelling you're as your (0.8889)
not learning how to change a tire (0.8889)
jokes with friends (0.8889)
hating yourself (0.8889)
risking going for a poop despite the small amount of toilet paper and then running out before youre done (0.8883)
hardly ever taking the dog for a walk (0.8871)
making a costly mistake (0.8870)
not letting the dog out to pee (0.8857)
lending that rare comic to your sister's boyfriend just before they broke up and you never saw him again (0.8857)
getting fat (0.8857)
being so careless your scoop of ice cream fell off the cone onto the hot pavement (0.8846)
not telling the person you have a crush on that you like them, and when you finally worked up the courage, they're dating someone else (0.8846)
putting of that dentist appointment until it was too late (0.8846)
not figuring out what you want (0.8846)
not taking backups (0.8846)
catching robot flu by going to that sleazy robot strip club (0.8846)
not sleeping AND not getting the homework done (0.8842)
not hooking up with Ryan (0.8840)
staying with an abusive boyfriend (0.8837)
always starting to hate yourself whenever you suspect that anyone else has an opinion of you, whether that opinion be good or bad (0.8837)
hitting that wasp, but not hard enough, so it comes back and stings you (0.8824)
reading a book in two days, because it was really good, but probably not being able to remember any of it a month after as a result (0.8824)
the absense of established customs and mores for online interaction (0.8824)
making an unintentional typo when you were trying to make an intentional typo (0.8824)
trying to get along with someone, even though their idea of conversation is a running critique of everything you do, like, and believe (0.8824)
needing a shower in the warst way (0.8824)
not going to the doctors sooner (0.8824)
not being good at self promotion (0.8824)
dropping out of school for a girl (0.8824)
not starting in your new sketchbook because you're afraid you'll mess up tremendously on the first page (0.8824)
being THAT guy (0.8824)
the assholish way that vegans get when you tell them you like tofu, as if it belongs to them and you're not allowed to eat it (0.8824)
having a bunch of books you absolutely love, but losing your nerve when it comes to recommending them to others (0.8824)
loneliness that can only be consoled with regret (0.8824)
eatting undercooked eggs (0.8824)
hurting the only person who loved you because you were afraid of getting too close (0.8824)
that Zorro stole all your zzzzz's, now you'll be awake all night (0.8824)
starting a business with loans from your friends (0.8824)
not buying supplies before the dungeon run (0.8824)
a lack of clarity in your regrets (0.8824)
when someone lives up to their stereotype (0.8824)
that subscription to US weekly (0.8824)
being afraid that when you do stop being scared of other people, you will settle for a relationship you're not that into, out of low self worth (0.8824)
your lack of telekinesis (0.8810)
thinking someone is talking to you when they're actually talking to the person behind you (0.8806)
homeowners associations (0.8800)
people blaming their own faults on you (0.8800)
not turning back to look at her one last time before leaving her life forever (0.8800)
not having any self esteem (0.8800)
touching your eye after cutting hot peppers (0.8800)
that the trend of regrets that don't make sense with 'how much can you expect to regret' has returned (0.8800)
your feet, they're cold (0.8800)
failing to see the signs (0.8794)
saying you could start at your job earlier than they expected, then remembering later that you planned to visit your boyfriend that weekend (0.8788)
that typo you will never be able to fix (0.8780)
leaving mould in a mug for so long that when you finally got round to washing it, it sprayed a blue cloud around the kitchen on contact with water and made you sneeze (0.8780)
leaving coffee for a week in your thermos (0.8780)
the Twilight books (0.8774)
giving someone more attention than they deserved (0.8767)
staying in relationships even after finding out the truth (0.8767)
living a life dictated by your phobias instead of your desires (0.8766)
failing to notice that the sad girl you just passed was actually a damsel in distress, and you didn't help her (0.8765)
something you HAVEN'T done (0.8765)
May not being a fun month for you (0.8750)
people who make assertions without citing evidence or examples to back up said assertions, a sure sign of a narcissistic personality disorder, the other sign being vehement denial of said disorder followed by attack or ridicule of diagnosis tenderer (0.8750)
adding Roshan Patel to your Facebook friends (0.8750)
that clinging to the past hinders you from embracing the present, the old Regret Index is dead, long live the Regret Index (0.8750)
The Assassination of Jessie and James by the Coward Ash Ketchum (0.8750)
the incident (0.8750)
not looking both ways before you cross the street (0.8750)
that you are literally fucktarded (0.8750)
making typos (0.8750)
showing that person you were hoping would be a new friend something stupid because you thought they would appreciate it, only no one would because your interests are dumb (0.8750)
buying your first car, then immediately getting in your first car accident (0.8750)
drying yourself after a shower with a mildewy towel (0.8750)
not trying more things when you were younger now that you know being in trouble is a fake idea (0.8750)
realising you've ran out of toilet paper after you've already finished (0.8750)
fried pickles (0.8750)
that there is nothing fair in this world, babe (0.8750)
spelling gauge wrong (0.8750)
finding a living six inch long centipede in your toilet (0.8750)
thinking it would be way more punk to get a hott pink "Hello Kitty" Squier copy of a Strat than to get another Gibson SG, but being unsure whether wooable girls will see the post punk transgressive humor or your artfully ironic act of overthinking things (0.8750)
neglecting your oral hygiene (0.8750)
not having a miniature pet Utahraptor (0.8750)
moving to kuwait (0.8750)
wasting your life (0.8750)
not knowing what you did wrong (0.8750)
not making more of an outcry about bad things that are happening (0.8750)
that it's no longer cool to call the Internet "the tubes" (0.8750)
world hunger (0.8750)
crotchrot (0.8750)
still not knowing what you want to be when you grow up (0.8750)
that the DS has become a haven for shovelware (0.8750)
having too much work or not enough (0.8750)
Facebook applications (0.8732)
entering pointless religious debates that serve only to make both sides really irritated (0.8730)
taking the hugest dump (0.8725)
Hitler's taking direct control of the German military (0.8723)
letting your ex have your Dreamcast (0.8718)
not having hands for feet and also a tail (0.8710)
mistaking tears for repudiation of the rumours involving her kissing someone else (0.8710)
being asked for important advice and not being able to give it (0.8710)
not asking your health insurance company how much an expensive dental procedure would cost before doing it (0.8710)
indecent exposure which does not result in the erotic frenzy that you had anticipated (0.8696)
not being sure you used a word right (0.8696)
having a friend who is just nice enough to keep you around, but when it comes right down to it, if you ask her for some favor in return for yours, she just utterly sucks (0.8696)
losing two portable music devices in less than two months (0.8696)
flashing the dog, then finding out your dad saw you (0.8696)
imagining how painful a hangnail would be if it rimmed the tip of your urethra (0.8696)
being a dick (0.8696)
being born too late for tall ships and too early for spaceships (0.8696)
telling my roommate who plays his guitar all the time that I am really laid back and I love hearing music all the time (0.8696)
awfulness (0.8696)
moving into that apartment that was infested with bedbugs (0.8696)
hannah montana (0.8696)
forgetting just what the things were you used to enjoy so much (0.8696)
not checking the toilet seat first (0.8690)
not finding more time to read (0.8686)
waiting too long to let go of your feelings (0.8684)
games that you never finished and have long since lost (0.8684)
not doing the thing you deliberately said you would (0.8684)
spending all day surfing the Internet instead of writing or drawing or whatever it is you do creatively (0.8684)
staying with the douche because you were too lazy to get out (0.8679)
being so exhausted you can hardly keep your eyes open, for no good reason (0.8667)
that it's nearly eleven again, sigh (0.8667)
implementing synergies to verticalize your platforms (0.8667)
turd too big (0.8667)
not being one of those people who really finds it unfair that the other person doesn't make the first move, knowing that you are the cause of most of your problems, but still preferring the neutral position (0.8667)
Beatallica (0.8667)
imagining that there's a cafe somewhere where all the american apparel models hang out and talk about philosophy and indie music, and the girls hang out with their nipples poking through their shirts and their drugged up expressions (0.8667)
when your toaster wets the bed (0.8667)
barf (0.8667)
three am, when doctors say the body's at low tide, the soul is out, the blood moves slow, you're the nearest to death you'll ever be save dying, sleep is a patch of death, but three in the morn, full wide eyed staring, is living death! (0.8667)
not closing your window, though you're quite cold (0.8667)
mispronouncing that fancy word (0.8667)
not being sure if the same kid just passed you three times, or if there are triplets afoot (0.8667)
fighting between the feeling that you're not ready, and the feeling that you're running out of time (0.8667)
trying to do something in a bit of a hurry on a website that is extremely slow today (0.8667)
screwing up the grumblecakes caper (0.8667)
that your academic plans are GONE (0.8667)
falling asleep while cooking with the stove (0.8667)
neofolk (0.8667)
finding out your cat is of the non yodeling variety (0.8667)
staying with someone you didn't love (0.8667)
knowing where you want your relationship to go but not having the balls to ask or talk to your partner about such (0.8667)
having itchy gums (0.8667)
that when people list regulars, you're hardly ever on the list (0.8667)
eating something that when eaten would result in the inability to post regrets that begin with "eating" (0.8667)
that you aren't not doing nothing never even though you aren't not anywhere special (0.8667)
the way passport photos highlight every blemish and imperfection (0.8667)
that, specifically, you want to know if it's proper to say "took an object from out the container it was in" or if you have to say "out of the container" (0.8667)
the UK not having free speech (0.8667)
puke (0.8667)
guessing you should probably give up on your dream for another year (0.8667)
feeling sick when it's really nice outside (0.8667)
asking "hey, how's your dog," forgetting that her dog just tragically died (0.8667)
not helping that injured bird you saw (0.8667)
that even though you know how to pronounce bass as in bass guitar, when you see it in writing you always automatically think bass, as in a type of fish (0.8667)
that the only thing separating grad school from grade school is e (0.8667)
winning a pyrrhic victory (0.8667)
that there still people alive in two thousand ten who believe the White Stripes were good (0.8667)
lacking the courage to tell somebody how you really felt (0.8659)
using the wrong tense (0.8654)
not telling a person how special they were to you (0.8654)
going back on your word (0.8649)
losing that irreplacable item (0.8644)
not taking a spare (0.8636)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, so the author feels obligated to construct situations to show off that genius, yet the situations are so contrived and unrealistic that they could only exist in fiction (0.8636)
searching frantically for something that ended up being in your pocket the whole time (0.8636)
republicants (0.8636)
having either a knack for lulzy old timey jokes, postmodern merriment and general bonhomie, or wallowing in a fathomless dark hole of self abuse and hollow hearted self loathing, with no in between (0.8636)
not seizing the moment (0.8636)
not leaving him before he became a judgemental prick (0.8636)
wasting time on the internet waiting for an email you might never get (0.8636)
Trying to eat chili straight from the pot with a ladel, and just spilling it all over your shirt (0.8636)
it taking so long to remember words (0.8636)
being unable to tell (0.8636)
offering tech support for family members (0.8636)
ever watching The View (0.8621)
finding yet another way to rehash past mistakes (0.8618)
being so lazy you refrained from cleaning up the dead insects on your kitchen and bathroom floors (0.8611)
answering a question without thinking about it first (0.8607)
not having met ryan north (0.8601)
sounding like a pretentious twit in your comments despite not meaning to (0.8600)
the orange burny thing make face burn ARRGH (0.8571)
that nobody seems to realize nihilists make the best RPG villains, case in point Kefka (0.8571)
having to wake up before noon (0.8571)
really believing that it's not how you look that's keeping you from a relationship, but you own fears, which somehow makes it even harder (0.8571)
finding only yoga listings for "healing, breathing, compassionate and gentle" yoga, where's my "fire eyed punk rock shit blood and chew glass" yoga (0.8571)
dying from food inhalation (0.8571)
that the grammer champeen been chosed unfairly (0.8571)
being too tired to do something useful, and not having something useless to do (0.8571)
being the last of your kind except for, coincidentally, your greatest enemy (0.8571)
being sleepy (0.8571)
turning on the wrong burner and setting your cookbook on fire (0.8571)
beating that final stage, only to realize the basic emptiness of the electronic experience (0.8571)
pretending the molestation never happened (0.8571)
being far more confident or gregarious via the internet or in writing than you are in person (0.8571)
not being able to tell if an idea is awesome or terrible (0.8571)
trying to make anything work in internet explorer (0.8571)
staying in a problematic relationship for the sake of your children (0.8571)
what an enormous number of utterly crap films somehow get greenlit for screen (0.8571)
getting lyrics wrong in a lyric regret (0.8571)
saving the world by turning it invisible (0.8571)
not leaving work before it started raining blood (0.8571)
eating too much too often (0.8571)
not discovering the Amazing Regret Index sooner (0.8571)
dissociating (0.8571)
how few people realize that Hitchcock's "Dial M for Murder" was shot in three dee (0.8571)
living on the most isolated and boring campus ever (0.8571)
making a promise you couldn't keep (0.8571)
that you were born too late for tall ships, and too early for spaceships (0.8571)
writing a kind of excellent cover letter for a job you're not one hundred percent sure you want (0.8571)
being woken up early the one day you get to have a lie in (0.8571)
that Ayn Rand was such a fridged bitch (0.8571)
that one linguistics problem (0.8571)
making an obvious, undisputable statement, then tacking "in my opinion" at the end of it (0.8571)
destroying something expensive because you can't control your damned temper (0.8571)
eating everything in two seconds (0.8571)
tucking your dress into your hose (0.8571)
biting your tongue while chewing gum (0.8571)
that papercut (0.8571)
not travelling before settling down into a real job (0.8571)
that the sky is full of dreams, but you don't know how to fly (0.8571)
dropping out of highschool (0.8571)
not having any idea whether you cover letters and portfolio are effective at all, or even reaching anyone (0.8571)
having an OKcupid account you loser (0.8571)
that in recommending something to someone, you mentally pick out all of the things that they might not like about it, which in turn tarnishes your enjoyment of it a little (0.8571)
that all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain (0.8571)
that sometimes even the internet can't find something you want (0.8571)
that the smell behind your ears smells kind of like cheese (0.8571)
tripping on DDR (0.8571)
Not thinking she could llove me as a function of not loving myself (0.8571)
letting all that isn't limited to the ground come into your home (0.8571)
lacking situations where you can say "rue the day" (0.8571)
Hitler (0.8571)
that no one votes on these anymore (0.8571)
that real life doesn't have an "undo" button (0.8558)
taking forever to get back to someone about a project that only takes five minutes for you to do (0.8548)
stepping on a slug barefoot (0.8545)
not kissing that person you really liked when you had the chance before they became a world famous popstar who is now totally beyond your reach (0.8542)
not getting enouhg sleep because you stayed up late on the internet for no reason (0.8542)
not telling the truth in the fist place (0.8531)
that you meet more interesting people in your dreams than you do in real life (0.8529)
saying something satirical and having people think you meant it (0.8529)
assuming that she would change for me (0.8529)
being afraid to live up to your full potentia (0.8529)
pulling an all nighter to get work done and spending the whole night watching youtube videos instead (0.8526)
buying the crappy product off that enticing infomercial (0.8519)
not wearing a hat or sunscreen (0.8519)
lolololol (0.8519)
going to bed unsatisfied when she's not that far away (0.8519)
not practicing your instrument (0.8519)
not starting that final paper sooner (0.8513)
not telling the truth in the first place (0.8512)
waking up from that dream (0.8511)
watching movies where the audio and video are out of sync (0.8506)
not asking her out, even though you know she'd say yes (0.8504)
not being able to find the reciept that proves your xbox is still under warranty (0.8500)
Pulling all the legs off that Grandaddy long leg (0.8500)
Jar Jar Binks (0.8500)
grocery shopping while hungry (0.8500)
believing the person who said I wasn't good enough (0.8491)
not saying hello to someone (0.8486)
not standing up for yourself most times, and for some reason feeling like a jerk whenever you do (0.8485)
hearing what you want to hear instead of what was really said (0.8480)
finding out late in the game that The Scorpions were from Germany (0.8462)
getting your balls caught in a beartrap and screaming for help, but nobody thought anything was wrong because you're Thom Yorke (0.8462)
joining SomethingAwful (0.8462)
not doing completely selfish and reckless things more often (0.8462)
someone finding and returning you your virginity despite your not wanting it back (0.8462)
your habit of leaving lettrs and sometimes whole out when typing things (0.8462)
being drugged then orally, vaginally, and anally raped by Roman Polanski as you begged him to stop, even though you were only thirteen (0.8462)
not being sure how to feel anything is important (0.8462)

bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (356)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]