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posters in the amazing Regret Index may be older than they appear
try the mid nineties
fuck marry kill, Brian Peppers in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, Sylvia Browne in the bathroom at church, a Tim Burton heroine in the early aughts
fuck marry kill, Gabrielle Glaister in Blackadder, Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare In Love, Rhiana Griffith in Pitch Black
fuck marry kill, Tom Hanks in Bosom Buddies, Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game, Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire
Man Peeps CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
Canada to apologise for 'LGBT purge' of military during Cold War, no homo, eh
the stars are out, there's mischief in the breeze
you had me at "Canada to apologise", eh
Canada to apologise for 'LGBT purge' of military during Cold War
fuck marry kill, Jai Courtney, Jay Kay, J Edgar Hoover
fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox's head on Jai Courtney's body, Jai Courtney's head on Courteney Cox's body, Courteney Cox except she has Jai Courtney's cock
fuck marry kill, Anne Boleyn, Mary Boleyn, Anne of Cleves
fuck marry kill, a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft, a Celtic homosexual with Mary, Queen of Scots, a guy named "Bill Choker" with David Carradine
fucking a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft
minimalist, but also complex, emotionally raw, but still able to push the boundaries of what music can be
Jai Courtney, Hogwarts squash champion
Rowntrees Condoms, Hogwarts sex ed teacher
the death of Rowntrees Condoms so Jai Courtney would get famous
Rowntrees Condoms
[ show all 127386 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox's head on Jai Courtney's body, Jai Courtney's head on Courteney Cox's body, Courteney Cox except she has Jai Courtney's cock
(1) Man Eats CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
(2) wondering what they put in the nonvegan olive oil
(2) fuck marry kill LaVar Ball, Lucille Ball, Ed Balls
(3) fuck marry kill, only weirdly cropped, pitchbent Family Guy clips in your YouTube suggestions forever no matter what you do, blowing a guy but he jizzes diamonds & you get to keep the diamonds, spooning Jewel's boobs but also having to spoon Rob Schneider
(9) wondering whether you would rather have your penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time you get an erection
(1) fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Bear Grylls, James Wesley, Rawles
(1) those times when you have a really intense, meaningful dream, and you try to explain it to other people but it comes out looking boring and retarded
(1) seriously wondering whether Bryan Adams knows how to pronounce 'Porsche'
(1) Buttadeus
(6) will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe
(2) you might have met someone who would possibly have been your Mr Miyagi but he was heavily fined for employing illegal immigrants and you kind of lost track of him
(2) to avoid constipation, she never crapped the same address
(2) to avoid complications, she never kept the semen dress
(5) we all need somebody to ream on
(1) three dudes stone cold chillin' in a hot tub
(4) when I tell everyone that you're in love with me
(11) having a hell of a dream
(4) that would depend on the size of the glass and the concentration of the pee
(1) The Hurt Focker
(1) All The President's Covfefe
(2) Not having anyone to send a sexy snapchat to even though you feel capable of taking one of yourself for the first time in your sad life
(4) Slash's Blues Ball
(2) Bonobono
(2) when did we get like this
(2) that a year from now, the Regret Index will just be a couple of idiots snickering about pornstar names over and over, plus ca change
(4) Kento's anus
(2) inside of Bananarama it's too dark to read
(2) getting Spice World instead of a Bananarama movie
(1) not really NEEDING to fuck a midget on your deathbed, but wanting to
(1) infested spring
(2) needing to fuck a midget on your deathbed
(1) peg toodle pip pork, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig
(5) I would bust that tight pASTERISKASTERISKASTERISKy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week
(2) Rick Tailfeathers, Mayor of Duckburg
(1) smashing the canoptic jar containing Kento's penis, so that his spirit will be impotent in the afterlife
(2) typical Lancastrian
(2) I happen to like eight year old boys
(1) ODD
(1) there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse
(4) A teenager with teleportation abilities suddenly finds himself in the middle of an ancient war between those like him and their sworn annihilators
(1) drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
(4) using a cherry stoner to take the cherry stone from a cherry, then observing the ragged and gaping red stained canal between the fresh, pert contours of the cherry's lower end
(1) having a sudden, weird flashback to the librarian in you
(1) snapping teeth out of my jaw after a failed pass attempt
(1) having a sudden, weird flashback to the library in you small home town
(1) spitting blood when you brush or floss
(1) flying All Nippon Airways
(1) beeing
(2) the man, the legend
(4) snapping tendons in my hand after a failed dunk attempt
(4) licking Brian Peppers's pecker
(3) fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, Mrs Jones, Stacey's mom
(1) I can call you daddy
(1) fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds
(1) fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan
(2) I want the BEST WOMAN, but I need the WORST CAT
(2) freezing a lump of peanut butter in secret, just to see what would happen
(1) sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm
(4) Donald Trump's lawyers have argued that protesters "have no right" to "express dissenting views" at his campaign rallies because it infringes on the US President's First Amendment rights
(1) putting a little false foreskin on your penis when you disguise yourself
(2) losing your dinosaur at a Virginity Jr concert
(2) voting yes or no on this regret
(3) not actually knowing what happens with menstruation in Star Trek, like is there a magical pill you take and it just stops or what
(1) GOOGLE AVRIL LAVIGNE
(1) seriously craving some Burger King, but not trusting the one by your house since he asked if you have a sister and whether she was "fun"
(3) def twins homo menage
(3) I don't think that's going to make the deli girl like you
(1) Report Colon Stephen Fry to Fist Prince William with Gay Rights Petition at BAFTAs
(2) chinnery
(5) face ass take on, The British Bulldog, Darth Vader, Kento
(1) the death of an eight year old child in Twickenham in MMXIII, who collided with a player of British bulldog while playing a different game
(1) that we're almost out of people born in the nineteenth century
(1) Utah judge calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'good man'
(1) managing to miss picture day almost every year in high school, and not being in any clubs, so that you weren't really in your yearbooks at all
(1) wondering if anyone has actually tried some of the sex acts listed on Urban Dictionary
(1) The posting notes that the assailant was "bouta fight her," followed by several emojis indicating that a person was laughing so hard she was crying
(3) constantly cumming in Constance Cummings
(3) pink mutt pubes
(1) having literally never heard of Robert Irvine until just now, cheerio
(1) I thought you'd stopped that chopshop body mutilation stuff
(4) Oscar asking if he can show you his cock
(2) saying "I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy do I have a lot of hair in my mouth!" as a joke thinking the "hair in my mouth" would make people come to the comedic realization that you were licking a cat, totally forgetting vulvae have hair too, oops
(1) that you once wrote "bite my shiny metal ass" into a four hundred year old book, just because you could
(1) taking your best girl out to dinner at Chuck E Cheese
(1) Sopor Moroo Bros
(6) wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you
(2) SPOILER ALERT Kento dies after getting Eiffel Towered by Lex Luthor and the Death Star
(1) Kento requires full rectal reconstruction after being Eiffel Towered
(1) kissing that boy in Ithaca
(1) replicator meat
(2) not knowing offhand when babies begin teething
(4) having redundant sexual organs
(12) not being able to finish anything you've ever started
(2) meating J's wife, then finishing off on J's mom
(1) monstrous pike
(2) hearing Lose Yourself playing over the speakers in a supermarket and wondering if it is part of a subliminal ad campaign to boost spaghetti sales
(1) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly
(5) fmk, JLH, SMG, JTT
(1) Jennifer Love Hewitt's Boobs Worth $five Million

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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]