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recent regrets

when a girl changes from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face" then she's old enough to give her heart away
Boba Fetish
ripping Myke Hawke off
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give Myke Hawke away
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give a warty hare, eh
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's too old to give her heart away, signed, Roman Polanski
for money
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give her heart away
bobby socks
bottoming for David Bummy in Underwear Pressure VII
photoshopping all those images of David Bowie with a huge arse for that David Bummy tumblr you never made
Santa Claus is comin' to
he knows that it's me they've been comin' to
life is a crab beret
SHARING A DRINK THEY CALL LONELINESS during the day
looking out for glasses, big big glasses
big lass savings
big lasses
big glasses
wondering at what point in time the word "fetish" morphed from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face"
[ show all 124344 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) that the concept of telepathy and telekinesis is so common in science fiction, even science fiction of the "harder" sort, yet there is absolutely no mechanic outside of pseudoscience to explain how they function
(1) drinking alone during the day
(3) the new episodes of Lasagna Cat
(1) that you should always eat balls in pairs
(1) fuck marry kill, Gene Hackman, Gene Hunt, Gene Talia
(5) fuck marry kill, the Rat Pack, the Brat Pack, the Frat Pack
(3) Currently, the phrase 'Brit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British actors and actresses of rising prominence
(1) getting a raw blow from Rob Lowe
(7) wondering who Tabitha on regret two zero six eight was and how she found the index
(2) hi kento
(3) being that chicken flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like chicken
(2) your new dildo being too big for you
(1) pitching an original sitcom in which Charles Martinet and Scott Baio play a prominently married couple who make a living playing traditional Mexican music, Mariochachi Band
(1) being followed on twitter by a guy named BLAZING HOMOSEX
(2) Kento "Dick Dick Dick" Ikeda
(1) Kim Jong nam really looking like the Asian Dom Deluise
(3) how the Grinch stole the US Federal Gold Reserve, over two hundred police and national guard dead, a nation mourns
(1) the world is not a tangled knot of failure
(1) Afro Samurai
(1) Nabooian nerve knockers
(1) TRUMP SPORTS
(2) the Houston Gamblers
(8) deleting your MyFace tweet account book
(1) such cow cum in a rape vial
(1) Quantum Rape
(4) entering too soon
(2) banging a minor heroine butt
(1) Han banged a Tim Burton heroine first
(2) Jabba the Hutt Colon The Art of the Deal
(1) Easy D
(1) my ass for my senior pictures
(1) feeling like a potentially less effects heavy and more kid friendly X Man would be Miceman
(1) oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big senior penis behind my ass for my head pictures
(3) wondering what they call a sixty nine year jubilee
(1) I didn't know they made T cup bras
(1) that you'll never have a four way with Prairie Dawn, Rosie, and Granny Bird from Sesame Street, and sure, you could probably look up someone else's weird take on a frankly weird desire, but it's not the same
(1) the rainbow ruse
(7) this guy right here
(1) this guy right here
(1) Mike Pence tweeted that calls to ban Muslims from entering the US are "offensive and unconstitutional"
(1) seeing a guy beg for change outside a suburban grocery store and simutaneously being suspicious and sad for him
(1) Sting playing the Seinfeld sting
(2) still not having seen Teacakes Frown, eh, or Goo En Rue
(3) having a one night stand with a guy who makes you call him Mr Bubble
(1) liking your babies like you like your martinis, shaken
(2) Threepio does
(1) that Demi Moore was thrice dominated for the MTV Movie Award for Most Desirable Female but lost all three times
(1) wondering if Trump's entire presidency is just a huge scheme to clean up by gambling on the date of his impeachment
(6) not helping an older woman down the steps
(1) that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's widow tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor
(2) guessing that at some point the Old Republic had an extreme State's Rights faction take power and basically gut the executive branch
(6) the death of Richard Bonehill
(1) eXXXteme edgy lesbian "that's what she said" jokes!
(2) no one ever died from mowing a hot cunt
(1) I and I gon give yuh dah axe, mon
(3) there's seven inches of snow outside, so i'm thinking of making some chocolate chip cookies for my roommates and i
(1) Bathynomus giganteus
(2) thinking that if Kento had hands that were just a little bit smaller, he would make a great "bottom" gay porn star
(1) wishing you could have been a fly on the wall at the studio meetings where the producers kept trying to convince Peter Jackson to fit more Orlando Bloom into the Hobbits, probably going so far as to suggest having two Legolases on the screen at a time
(2) you mom sucking dicks that don't have cash
(3) fuck marry kill, Joey, Ross, Chandler
(1) considering writing "fuck marry kill, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica" and then realizing that it is the easiest answer ever
(1) wondering if you have ever won any Oscars
(1) wondering who the regretter with the large orange cat is
(2) Trump wants a much nigger navy
(5) Debbie Snakez Her Bathtub Drain
(2) victory
(1) wondering if Prince realized how rich he was
(4) that Rachel was always your favourite F#R#I#E#N#D# but maybe this was because by the time you realised what a colossal wishy washy bitch she was she'd got knocked up and basically assumed some kind of personality, while Monica was actively becoming worse
(1) the dummies inside the phonebooth when it transits into the time circuits on Bill & Ted
(1) wondering whether Alfonso Ribeiro is the black Alex Winter or Alex Winter is the white Alfonso Ribeiro
(1) rewriting Regret Index Colon the Movie as Two Jerk Guys
(5) that twenty sixteen saw nearly a forty percent drop in regret productivity compared to the record breaking performance we put up in twenty fifteen
(2) never getting around to building that sex dungeon
(1) Popstar Colon Never Stop Never Stopping
(2) seriously having no clue what the fuck Kento's problem is
(2) wondering if there is an alternative cut of Her where Pedomustache Twombly furiously beats his meat, pausing only to order his hapless AI to "say more sexy stuff"
(1) being a pregnant
(1) getting yo dick rode all night
(1) drawing a picture of Kento sneaking into Arthur the Aardvark's bedroom late at night with rohypnol laced koolaid and a bunch of dildos
(3) not being able to remember his name, thus being forced to refer to Andrew Zimmern as "that guy who eats horse cock"
(1) drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus, oy
(2) the death of Kento
(1) the death on the set of Welsh Rape Caress I all but guaranteed the shelving of Welsh Rape Caress II
(1) not remembering the time we established that Kento has an annual sodomy session with David Cameron, but not doubting it did occur
(1) you pay Miyagi
(4) another sad and lonely christmas
(1) wondering how Gary Fisher is taking all of this
(2) what's going to happen is they will come to their senses, and we will all be just fine
(1) Seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes
(5) suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop spitting in her asshole
(1) wondering where that whole "eliminate liquid waste out of your genitals" thing came from
(1) A Butt's Life
(2) guessing that Scarlett Johansson, and most actresses in general, have buttholes in most of the movies they're in
(2) a chilling vision of the end of humanity
(2) Vader's Redemption Colon The Imperial March in a Major Key
(1) he just joined the pony club
(5) reading an article reviewing books that discuss the contributions women made to science, seeing the sentence "It takes just over eight seconds for sunlight to reach the Earth" in the first paragraph and thinking, naw, I'm not gonna read this
(4) being freaked out that there's a help wanted sign in the deli window, which is let's face it a new patheticism even for someone as easily freaked out as yourself
(2) Eleanor strikes again

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
that I'm afraid the pretzels are no longer complimentary, Mr Bond (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]