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recent regrets

wondering how one goes about becoming a ghost on the fucking moon
we're all going to fucking die
old gray mare she ain't what she used to be
marrying a carrot
winning friends and influencing salad
not winning friends with salad
actually being surprised that there really is a guy named Donald Tusk, and he is not just a gay porn star name we dreamed up to soddomize Kento
always putting either too much or too little dressing on salad
being continually reminded that Nigel Farage has only got one ball
Boris and Cameron 'gnawed away at each other's testicles'
hardened cynics you have known for years suddenly and openly showing real fear in the face of this madness
not really being anosmic
probably coddling cock
probably cooking cod
Kanye Wests Famous Video Boasts Bizarre Orgy with Chris Lydon and a Walrus
Kanye Wests Famous Video Boasts Bizarre Orgy with Donald Trump and Taylor Swift
wondering if you're really anosmic or if it was just part of the joke
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that goddamn deliberately disabled bastard
Quite some time ago, I was over at a friend's house watching him and another friend play a board game called Sex & Ill Asia
I'll let you decide which party is which
[ show all 116136 regrets ]

recent comments

(4) that everyone keeps invoking a divorce analogy for Brexit, and you wish they would use something more appropriate, like, say, two dogs gradually decoupling after the knotting subsides
(1) going to that Sausage Festival
(2) Rick Moranis
(1) Five Hospitalized After Tony Robbins Urges Them to Walk Over Hot Coals
(2) Starsuckers
(2) wondering why it is that whenever an American newspaper seeks celebrity comments on an issue related to the UK they always cite JK Rowling first, and wondering if the Biritsh public likewise holds Ms Rowling's opinions in such esteem
(1) Donald Trump praises Scots for "taking back control of their country" by voting overwhelmingly to remain in the EU
(4) Pokemon Life As a House and Star Wars
(1) the two cartoon dicks JMW Turner painted on The Slave Ship
(1) that coming five or six times in about thirty hours makes it so difficult to masturbate
(2) straddling Kento and pounding his bottom
(4) naming your daughter Rooney
(1) screwing everything up so badly
(2) the incident has left me feeling tainted and worried that if I am caught short in similar circumstances there maybe someone hiding in the bushes filming me
(1) learning to say 'where is the bathroom' in every language so that when people ask if you speak any given language you can say "I don't know much, but I know 'where is the bathroom', that may be all I need to know"
(2) believing in god
(13) President Housekeeping, starring Hulk Hogan
(3) being perceived as a joke
(1) wondering whether Angel Colon is the gayest name possible
(1) your diet of verbal abuse and walrus spoff
(1) that wikipedia claims Eminem made extensive use of the feminine rhyme scheme in his early work, no homo
(1) you die of unspecified illnesses
(1) having a surfeit of lampreys in the bathroom at church
(5) being resigned to urine, Eminem, death
(2) really wishing journalists would write "his passion became aroused" instead of "he got angry"
(3) that you will probably not live for very much longer
(1) wondering how Kento writes his name in kanji
(7) wondering which will come first, reaching one hundred thousand regrets or Kento having sex
(1) feeling like you need to sleep with one eye open
(5) that you'd like to connect in an incredibly egotistical way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence because nobody buys your narcissistic bullshit
(1) noting that it seems that Kento and rachel often show up at the same time and suspecting once again that they are the same person
(2) Kenchel
(1) it's hard to grasp
(1) remembering rachel as being legitimately great and wondering how it could be that she's still hanging around the regret index so much after so many years when she could do better
(2) demanding respect from a machine
(2) being the second most voted on regret, but only being the fourth most discussed slash spammed on regret
(5) being glad that Kento liked your regret about electroplating pennies
(1) V for Vladimir Putin
(1) my recollection is that she assumes the main character's identity after his death
(2) touching Leighton Meester's shit
(2) putting the ass in Jurassic Park
(1) Oasis
(1) any damsel that's in distress be outta that dress when she meet Jim West
(2) comments that make no sense
(3) shaving my head for this
(3) drawing a picture of a group of homosexual tearful Texans pulling down their pants after seeing Kento cross the border
(2) they travel in herds
(2) shaving my legs for this
(5) Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters
(4) we're buddies
(1) we're bullies
(2) Go Ikeda alone having orally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit
(1) Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump
(4) Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump
(1) the terrifying prospect of being governed by people who think life is like the Wacky Races and what some people need is a good boulder dropped on their heads to sort them out
(3) that you, a sado polyamorist, have bondage, latex, and wam fetishes and tied your significant others up in catsuits then whipped them viciously while a slave poured gallons of thick gloopy translucent or opaque messy substances on them
(3) hearing about those horse meat infused burgers being sold in the UK, and becoming curious about how horse tastes
(1) wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda
(2) this is a California Cheeseburger
(1) this is a rat burger
(1) honestly, fuck Sting
(1) loving Canada
(1) sniffing markers
(1) A raid is underway at Google's
(2) being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in order
(1) being the map
(1) windowless vans
(8) that you were honestly kind of relieved when it looked like the regret index was broken because it meant you didn't have to think about things like Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's head any more
(1) a California Cheeseburger
(1) The next thing I know, I'm on the floor and my arms are paralyzed
(3) your body is a Disneyland
(1) the way that people at Wikinews pretend like they're actually journalists
(1) people who say 'eff' instead of 'fuck'
(1) that cut scene from THX OneOneThreeEight in which LUH ThreeFourOneSeven closes the bathroom cabinet too quickly and severs her other hand in the door
(1) Jennifer Lawrence reveals the two words she wants to say to Donald Trump
(1) Twin Boob Jobs #Two
(3) jerking off with a crusty semen stained sock up your butt
(1) getting a job at Kento Burger
(1) getting a job as a Kento buggerer
(1) your gums getting sensitive when you have your penis gnawed
(1) Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'faggots'
(2) ranking your meat
(1) Dipsy
(1) Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles
(7) not going all the way
(1) enjoying Patty Duke
(3) if there were a John Astin Elly Jackson sex tape, I'd literally pay money to see it
(5) Collingwood Art Dolls
(1) The lady just looked at me, looked at my writing of mysterious formulae, and concluded I was up to no good
(5) trying to watch Open Windows but thinking you might turn it off because you've never seen a Sasha Grey film before and you're not really in the mood for double anal
(1) a beautiful summer's day
(1) Meaty the Cock Elf
(1) spurious precision
(1) writing crappy dialogue
(4) guessing that if the first page of google results for your name contains more than one video of you getting double penetrated, saying that you went through some "rough times" is probably insufficient
(1) being too sexy for your car
(1) Raccoon Tit Rape Inn
(1) Iran Contraception
(2) Tupac Shakur's mom dies
(2) wondering how big an anal ring needs to be to be considered "huge"

search regrets

Look for regrets involving

top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

turtles (4882)
being a minimalist (4567)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (4418)
not having met ryan north (4257)
Kento (4240)
[ show more ]