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recent regrets

The police watchdog has launched an investigation after officers Tasered a race relations adviser who has worked to improve links between the force and the black community in Bristol
the ghost of Russian Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin is haunting the stratosphere and destroying American spacecraft
bottoming for Lindsay Lohan in Disney's Holes
Disney's Holes
drawing a picture of Scatman Crothers and Scatman John scatting all over Patrick Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner watches from a tree and masturbates
Damn Scats! They ruined Scatland!
being chinned by a Scatman
Scatman John Song of Scatland
Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him
failing the SLAPS test in the showers at Penn State
Thomas Walter Swan
People v Doll
United States v One Package of Japanese Pessaries
It is now referred to as the three prong standard or the Miller test, with the third prong being informally known by the initialism and mnemonic device "SLAPS" or the term "SLAPS test"
Threepio does
do robots dream of electric willies
Willy's dreams
Myke Hawke is got to dream boy, it comes with the territory
in your dreams
throwing a queer dance party for Myke Hawke
[ show all 123128 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) liking your babies like you like your martinis, shaken
(2) Threepio does
(1) that Demi Moore was thrice dominated for the MTV Movie Award for Most Desirable Female but lost all three times
(1) wondering if Trump's entire presidency is just a huge scheme to clean up by gambling on the date of his impeachment
(6) not helping an older woman down the steps
(1) that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's widow tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor
(2) guessing that at some point the Old Republic had an extreme State's Rights faction take power and basically gut the executive branch
(6) the death of Richard Bonehill
(1) eXXXteme edgy lesbian "that's what she said" jokes!
(2) no one ever died from mowing a hot cunt
(1) I and I gon give yuh dah axe, mon
(3) there's seven inches of snow outside, so i'm thinking of making some chocolate chip cookies for my roommates and i
(1) Bathynomus giganteus
(2) thinking that if Kento had hands that were just a little bit smaller, he would make a great "bottom" gay porn star
(1) wishing you could have been a fly on the wall at the studio meetings where the producers kept trying to convince Peter Jackson to fit more Orlando Bloom into the Hobbits, probably going so far as to suggest having two Legolases on the screen at a time
(2) you mom sucking dicks that don't have cash
(3) fuck marry kill, Joey, Ross, Chandler
(1) considering writing "fuck marry kill, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica" and then realizing that it is the easiest answer ever
(1) wondering if you have ever won any Oscars
(1) wondering who the regretter with the large orange cat is
(2) Trump wants a much nigger navy
(5) Debbie Snakez Her Bathtub Drain
(2) victory
(1) wondering if Prince realized how rich he was
(4) that Rachel was always your favourite F#R#I#E#N#D# but maybe this was because by the time you realised what a colossal wishy washy bitch she was she'd got knocked up and basically assumed some kind of personality, while Monica was actively becoming worse
(1) the dummies inside the phonebooth when it transits into the time circuits on Bill & Ted
(1) wondering whether Alfonso Ribeiro is the black Alex Winter or Alex Winter is the white Alfonso Ribeiro
(1) rewriting Regret Index Colon the Movie as Two Jerk Guys
(5) that twenty sixteen saw nearly a forty percent drop in regret productivity compared to the record breaking performance we put up in twenty fifteen
(2) never getting around to building that sex dungeon
(1) Popstar Colon Never Stop Never Stopping
(2) seriously having no clue what the fuck Kento's problem is
(2) wondering if there is an alternative cut of Her where Pedomustache Twombly furiously beats his meat, pausing only to order his hapless AI to "say more sexy stuff"
(1) being a pregnant
(1) getting yo dick rode all night
(1) drawing a picture of Kento sneaking into Arthur the Aardvark's bedroom late at night with rohypnol laced koolaid and a bunch of dildos
(3) not being able to remember his name, thus being forced to refer to Andrew Zimmern as "that guy who eats horse cock"
(1) drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus, oy
(2) the death of Kento
(1) the death on the set of Welsh Rape Caress I all but guaranteed the shelving of Welsh Rape Caress II
(1) not remembering the time we established that Kento has an annual sodomy session with David Cameron, but not doubting it did occur
(1) you pay Miyagi
(4) another sad and lonely christmas
(1) wondering how Gary Fisher is taking all of this
(2) what's going to happen is they will come to their senses, and we will all be just fine
(1) Seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes
(5) suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop spitting in her asshole
(1) wondering where that whole "eliminate liquid waste out of your genitals" thing came from
(1) A Butt's Life
(2) guessing that Scarlett Johansson, and most actresses in general, have buttholes in most of the movies they're in
(2) a chilling vision of the end of humanity
(2) Vader's Redemption Colon The Imperial March in a Major Key
(1) he just joined the pony club
(5) reading an article reviewing books that discuss the contributions women made to science, seeing the sentence "It takes just over eight seconds for sunlight to reach the Earth" in the first paragraph and thinking, naw, I'm not gonna read this
(4) being freaked out that there's a help wanted sign in the deli window, which is let's face it a new patheticism even for someone as easily freaked out as yourself
(2) Eleanor strikes again
(3) that the reboot slash remake of the first Harry Potter movie is expected to be out by twenty sixteen
(1) just kind of going "oh, that"
(2) ignoring other people's feelings
(1) It's the Great Blumpkin, Charlie Brown
(2) defending your brazier from Brendan Frasier
(3) I WAS IN DEMI MOORE'S POO
(1) always misspelling sodomy
(1) that christopher lydon is the most handsome man on the planet and you will never look like him when you're old
(2) demisemihemidemisemiquavers
(1) bigger penis
(5) fuck marry kill, Prince's left half stitched to David Bowie's right half, a chimera with Alan Thicke's limbs and head attached to Alan Rickman's body, Kenny Baker with Kimbo Slice's genitals
(3) Roman Polanski winning the Teens Don't Have a Choice Lifetime Achievement Award
(2) also not really wanting to talk to Gemma because apparently she lives with Ben, who last you heard was stealing cars for a living
(5) wondering how important it is to your crossover fanfic
(9) wondering why you want to bang a Katie all of a sudden, anyway
(1) how lame and folksy a lot of Guns n Roses sounds to your adult ears
(1) the Hogwarts Raping Hat
(12) For political reasons, the classification of "honorary white" was granted to immigrants from Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, countries with which South Africa maintained diplomatic and economic relations, and to their descendants
(1) seeing a picture of Winston Churchill in a skintight bathing suit that clearly outlines his cock and balls
(2) milk of amnesia
(2) hi, I'm Bleached Kodyak, nice to meet you
(2) Significant works of Rene Auberjonois are on public display at the Aargauer Kunsthaus, the Kunstmuseum Basel, the Cantonal Museum of Fine Arts in Lausanne, the Kunsthaus Zurich and the Werner Coninx Stiftung
(1) pingpu peoples
(1) might The stress Be With You
(2) we should send him fanmail
(3) yeah, that's what I mean, people are basically just filming porn with a three sixty camera and playing it on an oculus rift, but when are we going to get the actual fully interactive stuff with maybe a crotchpiece or something
(1) Harold Pinter writing a harlequin play starring Hayden Panettiere licking HP sauce off of Harry Potter's hard penis
(1) skin
(2) HP is short for Hard Penis
(1) that Betty White is in her nineties
(1) FBI Colon Tycoon Was Extorted By Gay Porn Star
(17) imagining the images on an amazing Regret Index calendar and then throwing up in your mouth a little bit
(3) not really having anything useful to say to people in times of stress, but feeling the need to say something and consequently making a lot of low grade sexual jokes
(5) looking at pictures of naked gentlemen
(1) looking at pictures of naked ladies
(1) being raped by a midget
(1) falling down the rabbit hole of youtube song mashups
(2) Thant
(2) that's weird, last night I dreamed that someone came to my home and made me his thirteenth spouse, and Kento was telling me he got fucked thirteen times last night
(3) breakdowns come and breakdowns go
(2) fuck marry kill, ten lords a leaping, seven swans a swimming, two French hens
(1) fuck marry kill, bustin', buskin', breastgasm
(2) fuck marry kill, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Bill from Kill Bill
(2) fuck marry kill, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Bill the Pony

search regrets

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]