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interrupting yourself just as you were starting to talk about feeelings because you need to go do something else for a while, and you're not sure you'll be back tonight?
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recent regrets

Chewie animism
Howe was known to his men as "BIGGER, BLACKER Dick," a reference to his swarthy complexion that had developed from years of exposure to the elements and perhaps also to his somber nature
PLANETARY chauvinism
Howe was known to his men as "Black Dick," a reference to his swarthy complexion that had developed from years of exposure to the elements and perhaps also to his somber nature
Han chauvinism
I've been away all week
wondering how the quest to pump your daughter is going
that the video for Stacy's Mom really showcases the whole Jailbait slash Milf dichotomy, in which all men are socially conditioned to be sexually attracted to women who are either way too young or way too old
too many sad memories
please don't bring up Ariel Winter
Ariel Winter's asshole brother, Colon Winter
wondering what the official butt rape tune of the Trump campaign is
TRUMP Butt Rape Tune
TRUMP Teen Bra Tutu P
TRUMP Peanut Butter
the schism between Big Red Dogs for Trump and Cruel Anal Labs for Trump
'Kids for Trump', pro comic farting pressure group, vows never to return to Costa Mesa, blaming parents for booking mix up
'Fats for Trump' and 'Dogs for Trump' Colon Spirited, diverse crowd gathers at a Comet Ass rally
'Gays for Trump' and 'Kids for Trump' Colon Spirited, diverse crowd gathers at Costa Mesa rally
he doesn't like sand, you know that
[ show all 114076 regrets ]

recent comments

(4) wondering what the official butt rape tune of the Trump campaign is
(4) going to the mall and seeing a ten foot high poster for The Huntsman Colon Winter's War that had a huge picture of Liam Gallagher or whatever the fuck the name of the star is, and his "armor" appeared to be made of the same leather as women's purses
(5) eating moldy chocolate
(1) confusing hanukkah with bukkake
(2) wondering how a kid could possibly earn pesos
(4) that you like your women like you like your coffee, male
(1) wondering which will prove the better movie, Teen Wolf Too or Mr Magorium's Whorehouse and Toystore
(3) tell me your skype
(16) She neglects to mention that her grandson's withered, inbred cock lacked the power to successfully impregnate a woman naturally
(3) that the NYC police used to famously extort more money in fines from prisoner by posting "PLEASE DO NOT EXPECTORATE" signs all over the cells, a word spitting Irish toughs couldn't possibly be expected to know
[ show more ]

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
shaving Jewel's bush, meow (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
stabbing Isabella Rossellini and ejaculating in the wound (0.0000)
having Gordon Ramsay voice an orangutan who does nothing but masturbate and defecate (0.0000)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Kimmie Gibbler (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
brunettes (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
pussy (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
smashing a birdhouse with your flaccid dick (0.0000)
masturbating with your cut off hand (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
teabagging Raymond Burr (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
not eating out Kento (0.0000)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0004)
turtles (0.0004)
regret index greatest tits, Kento (0.0115)
breasts (0.0135)
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North (0.0161)
slamming your dick in Jewel's boobs (0.0185)
saying no when you should have said yes (0.0217)
having a lesbian crush on Alex Dainis (0.0233)
dongs (0.0297)
staring at Bicoid Babe's ass seriously (0.0310)
Twin Long Rods #Two (0.0345)
asian racks (0.0357)
fisting Kevin Bacon at home (0.0370)
hating reality TV shows (0.0385)
sexy makeouts (0.0400)
going to the Sweatiest Ass in the World world premiere with Kento (0.0408)
being awesome (0.0410)
going slightly out of your way to step on that crunchy looking leaf (0.0433)
consistent pubic lice (0.0455)
dinosaurs (0.0466)
Receiving from Jaylala (0.0476)
breastfeeding (0.0526)
spooning Kento's boobs (0.0526)
being the real deal (0.0526)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0541)
learning to play the xylophone (0.0543)
Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol (0.0556)
how weird The Regret Index becomes at night (0.0556)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0556)
being a nerd (0.0580)
drinking delicious lemonade and popping wheelies (0.0588)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0606)
managing to resist the perverse curiosity to see TwoGirlsOneCup, so far (0.0625)
building a castle out of the junk in a junkyard (0.0625)
boobs (0.0625)
making a fort in your living room out of couch cushions (0.0625)
demanding proof (0.0625)
this video (0.0667)
playing it loud (0.0704)
really not regretting the number one four two eight at all (0.0714)
sleeping with that slim ugly huge breasted double D cup bucktoothed seventeen year old national merit scolar bikini model cellist goth, and by the way, screw you MB (0.0714)
having to wear glasses (0.0714)
wondering what penguin would tase like (0.0714)
your love of eighties action movies (0.0727)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0732)
discovering webcomics (0.0746)
defending the bullied kid (0.0769)
choosing Squirtle (0.0769)
not wearing panties (0.0769)
futurama (0.0769)
that Jewel has huge boobs, seriously (0.0769)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0769)
boobs, vaginas, asses, and such (0.0769)
getting FOUR fish hooks stuck in your scrotum (0.0769)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0811)
having beautiful breasts (0.0833)
that wikipedia describes attending concerts as a "ritual" (0.0833)
soliciting a fourteen year old boy to pose for sexually explicit photographs (0.0833)
disabling your crazy friend (0.0833)
not supporting the President (0.0833)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (0.0833)
cuddling (0.0833)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0833)
Bicoid Babe (0.0833)
dinosaur comics (0.0833)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0833)
"Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol" being voted off the bottom regrets list (0.0833)
saying, "boners ahoy!" (0.0853)
kicking it old school (0.0870)
rocking out (0.0875)
staying in college (0.0879)
sharing warm spiced cider with a loved one (0.0891)
suckling (0.0909)
NOT kneeling before Zod (0.0909)
Getting into Miles Davis (0.0909)
garlic (0.0909)
Bicoid Babe (0.0909)
nomming a hamburger (0.0909)
Digimon (0.0909)
Squirtle (0.0909)
hugging a tree like a dirty hippie (0.0909)
indulging your nerd side (0.0909)
questioning your sexuality (0.0909)
baking bread (0.0909)
wondering if so many ladies turn to writing and reading smut because they crave porn but get turned off by the way it's made (0.0909)
making waffles (0.0918)
moving out of your parent's house (0.0941)
drinking delicious lemonade (0.0951)
holding hands (0.0952)
treehouses (0.0952)
fun times involving sushi (0.0959)
playing videogames while drunk (0.0962)
learning another language (0.0962)
publicly mocking Swine Flu (0.0970)
dromiceiomimus (0.0976)
butts (0.0991)
less than three (0.1000)
growing up in a nonchurchgoing family (0.1000)
not having seen Muriel's Wedding (0.1000)
sitting on the floor in second grade (0.1000)
buying a Dinosaur Comics tshirt (0.1017)
sleeping naked (0.1026)
defending cream soda (0.1062)
saying 'boners ahoy' (0.1064)
putting punctuation in your comment (0.1067)
the last time you drank (0.1071)
the very last thing you said (0.1071)
opening new cider (0.1077)
going to lunch (0.1111)
spending all weekend naked (0.1111)
following that white rabbit (0.1111)
the death of Margaret Hilda Thatcher (0.1111)
having seen Star Wars all the through probably over a hundred times (0.1111)
that stuff getting eaten is inherently funny (0.1111)
hugging a tree like a koala (0.1111)
kissing (0.1116)
becoming an atheist (0.1124)
getting into firefly (0.1126)
World War Two's ending in Allied victory (0.1129)
party party partying hard (0.1136)
being meat (0.1143)
starting over (0.1143)
eating raised bread (0.1154)
closing the door (0.1154)
smoking weed (0.1154)
boners (0.1156)
friendship (0.1167)
that rachel is back (0.1176)
downloading music illegally (0.1176)
the little wiggly things at the end of feet (0.1176)
spending an evening eating spicy cheetos, reading language log, and masturbating to nude photos of your ex from five years ago (0.1176)
making a little space for the cheese slices (0.1176)
drinking your first drink (0.1183)
getting your hot cocoa on (0.1200)
skipping work to sit in the sun (0.1200)
accepting candy from strangers (0.1204)
the color of blood outside the body when one has iron based blood (0.1212)
thinking of rain (0.1212)
ryan north (0.1226)
drinking a cold beer in the shower (0.1228)
Voting for Barak Obama (0.1228)
breathing (0.1239)
that you tend to give money to buskers or not depending on their talent (0.1250)
hating family guy almost as soon as it was uncanceled (0.1250)
not meeting Emily Gray (0.1250)
reading the book that changed everything (0.1250)
popping wheelies with the boys (0.1275)
winning (0.1287)
having sex at seventeen (0.1304)
vandalizing Wikipedia's chicken page that one time (0.1304)
watching Mystery Science Theatre all night (0.1304)
that groove is in the heart (0.1304)
talking to strangers (0.1311)
not getting the chance to meet the Mets (0.1311)
free speech (0.1316)
voting (0.1324)
attempting to lucid dream (0.1333)
eating goat cheese (0.1333)
not installing Safari Three on all your computers yet (0.1333)
Zooey Deschanel looks like a sandblasted Lucy Lawless (0.1333)
flushing that gallon of rotten shrimp down the toilet (0.1333)
obama (0.1348)
taking AP classes (0.1349)
loving Batman (0.1351)
qwantz (0.1356)
kissing her (0.1364)
making out with that girl dressed as a French maid at that costume party (0.1364)
making mud soup as a kid (0.1364)
being one of the very few people in your circle of friends to never really have the urge to smoke cigarettes (0.1389)
singing along (0.1395)
lasers (0.1395)
not wringing your parent's neck (0.1400)
not having kids (0.1408)
skipping the Harry Potter midnight release (0.1413)
kicking everyone's butt (0.1429)
not boning a donkey (0.1429)
paying for a whole seat but only using the edge (0.1429)
sexy spaceships (0.1429)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (0.1429)
making out with that girl who turned out to still be in high school (0.1429)
in jokes (0.1429)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of p subscript i to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.1429)
liking michael showalter a lot (0.1429)
having erotic fantasies about Bob Dylan (0.1429)
ap classes (0.1429)
not going to freecreditreport dot com (0.1429)
I don't know, always kind of liking narwhals yourself (0.1429)
What is this I don't even (0.1429)
polydactyl cats (0.1429)
losing your virginity (0.1429)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider (0.1429)
being a rocker (0.1429)
dropping your first truth and beauty bomb (0.1429)
going hog wild (0.1429)
putting your jeans and socks in one load (0.1429)
growing long hair (0.1453)
living abroad (0.1477)
all those books you read (0.1481)
breaking bones while snowboarding (0.1481)
sexing her hardcore (0.1481)
not being pretentious enough (0.1481)
being a meatatarian (0.1500)
passing yourself off as royalty (0.1500)
spending an entire weekend in your pjs (0.1500)
blowing raspberries (0.1500)
eating vaguely european (0.1500)
not actually being bitter or a nihilist (0.1500)
accepting a lower paying but much less stressfull job (0.1505)
burning that motherfucker down (0.1515)
breaking the law (0.1522)
going to the gym (0.1524)
cheese (0.1525)
keeping on trucking (0.1538)
wearing two socks (0.1538)
physically assaulting that guy who can't even bother to tune in the easy listening station properly in his cubicle (0.1538)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.1538)
listening to music that no one else has heard of (0.1538)
The Middleman being cancelled (0.1538)
that "bottom regrets" and "most voted regrets" are white while "add a new regret" "search regrets" "recent regrets" "top regrets" and "recent comments" are all in blue (0.1538)
sneaking around in a cardboard box, Metal Gear style (0.1538)
pie (0.1538)
Being born (0.1543)
trying that exotic food (0.1544)
telling your parents you're an atheist (0.1552)
not kissing up to people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.1556)
memorising every Star Trek episode (0.1557)
keeping it real (0.1557)
getting drunk at a wedding (0.1579)
that "avril lavigne" in Canadia is a line of spring fresh canuck bidets (0.1579)
learning an instrument (0.1587)
gay (0.1587)
having a power level of over NINE THOUSAND (0.1591)
eating in a rad mood (0.1600)
reading the regret index (0.1613)
wikipedia (0.1622)
eating bread (0.1622)
the indescribable beauty of simplicity (0.1622)
eating meat (0.1628)
playing Starfox Sixty Four (0.1647)
how many times you went back over the archive for Dinosaur comics (0.1648)
Pretending to be asleep to avoid talking (0.1649)
visiting this website (0.1656)
chrono trigger (0.1667)
eating her out (0.1667)
eating left handed (0.1667)
always eating your skittles in prismatic order (0.1667)
just wanting a sign (0.1667)
sweetness (0.1667)
christmas (0.1667)
refusing to accept the modern sense of "tweet" into your vocabulary (0.1667)
being in a rad mood (0.1667)
busting myths (0.1667)
pudding (0.1667)
watching 'The Dark Knight' (0.1667)
having roast beef (0.1667)
clockwork (0.1667)
randomly meeting people who fill your heart with glee (0.1667)
meeting a possum (0.1667)
that you always liked Mike more than Joel (0.1667)
being the one kid in your nerd clique who instantly hated Return of the Jedi with a passion (0.1667)
being able to say 'when I was your age, pluto was a planet' (0.1695)
playing in traffic (0.1696)
being British (0.1698)
not switching to Geico (0.1712)
having eaten dinner (0.1714)
having a onesome (0.1717)
hugging a tree (0.1719)
ghosts (0.1724)
dancing naked ALL DAY LONG (0.1739)
listening to Wagner (0.1739)
neing a super freak super freak (0.1739)
wondering whether Kento, Document, Sarah, and Pseudonym have found the new regret index yet (0.1739)
not waxing your eyebrows in high school (0.1748)
that where we're going we don't need roads (0.1748)
preparing for the zombie apocalypse (0.1750)
a log cabin (0.1757)
staying up all night to watch the sun rise (0.1757)
thinking of lettuce as just a delivery system for salad dressing (0.1765)
getting a lick job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake (0.1765)
putting on your robe and wizard hat (0.1765)
dessert (0.1765)
not being one of those women who instantly fawn over babies (0.1765)
planning for the zombie attack (0.1765)
eating a huge nerd (0.1765)
loving lamp (0.1771)
having a crush on the Utahraptor (0.1773)
peanut butter (0.1778)
that Venn diagramming is your favorite type of diagramming (0.1786)
painting the bedroom a color other than white or offwhite (0.1789)
insisting on protection (0.1795)
bacon (0.1795)
not smoking (0.1795)
that the Index is back, and the old users are back, and it is amazing nostalgic times for all (0.1795)
still knowing the lyrics to eighties pop songs (0.1795)
not eating goats for a living (0.1818)
watching the sunrise (0.1818)
trying to convince someone you are their Tyler Durden (0.1818)
wondering whether a centaur foal would suckle from the human breasts or the horse teats underneath (0.1818)
camping (0.1818)
brownies (0.1818)
losing yourself and dreaming of world that lie between her fingers (0.1818)
pronouncing "Intelligentsia" with a hard G (0.1818)
knowing you created one of the bottom regrets (0.1818)
hot bondage (0.1818)
lovin' dem pizza rolls (0.1818)
dancing naked (0.1818)
bringing up your distaste for Disney music (0.1818)
using the word "substitute" as a substitute for "replacement" (0.1818)
ever reading books (0.1818)
spending the Fourth in someone else's country (0.1818)
recognizing the beauty of mathematics and logic (0.1818)
streaking (0.1818)
simple english wikipedia (0.1818)
road trips (0.1818)
not really liking MMORPGs (0.1818)
lullabies (0.1818)
that, in a way, David Carradine's death from autoerotic asphyxiation could properly be termed "a fatal stroke" (0.1818)
that you wonder if rachel would be in your klan or hoard or guild or whatever when the pokemon mmorpg comes out (0.1818)
buying food for homeless people (0.1825)
not living in Corvallis, Oregon (0.1835)
the metric system (0.1837)
washing your pet (0.1837)
yelling "in bed" at the end of fortune cookie fortunes (0.1837)
fry (0.1842)
drawing penises on the worksheet (0.1842)
hot snogging (0.1842)
having a huge internet crush on Kate Beaton (0.1852)
revealing your nerdiness (0.1852)
standing the test of time (0.1852)
listening to Beethoven (0.1852)
going to college (0.1852)
being an alligator (0.1852)
having a huge weiner (0.1852)
being the bee's knees (0.1860)
not knowing every ABBA song by heart, yet (0.1860)
donating to public radio (0.1860)
not joining the military (0.1875)
wearing white after Labor Day (0.1875)
Garfield Minus Garfield (0.1875)
feeling that Pepe is the cutes BYOB corner pet (0.1875)
being real and fantastic (0.1875)
eating a butterfinger (0.1875)
watching Captain Planet (0.1875)
wanting to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden, in the shade (0.1875)
iTunes somehow playing the same song around the same time every day despite being on shuffle (0.1875)
foreplay (0.1875)
using the word "retarded" as a replacement for "stupid" (0.1875)
donating (0.1875)
chocolate spread (0.1875)
not knowing more about Anonymous (0.1875)
living in the city (0.1875)
giving that dorky, but really sweet guy a chance (0.1885)
dowloading that song (0.1887)
dinosaur wrestling (0.1892)
choosing adventure over security (0.1892)
choosing cake instead of death (0.1905)
that the sea is deep and full of mystery (0.1905)
having a name that is fifty percent vowels (0.1905)
being the cat's meow (0.1905)
taking boat (0.1905)
shooting Scott Temple (0.1905)
hooking up words and phrases and clauses (0.1905)
eating a noun (0.1905)
waiting most of the morning for the time to roll around when you can go to lunch at the most awesome hot dog place ever (0.1905)
not watching the movie Pontypool (0.1923)
this picture (0.1923)
bondage (0.1923)
telling your mother you don't want to have children (0.1923)
milk (0.1935)
earning a PhD instead of an MD (0.1935)
holding cats (0.1935)
pretending you're a woman to get into nursing school (0.1935)
learning new and interesting things about skin and blood (0.1935)
drawing a webcomic (0.1947)
being afraid of Americans (0.1948)
saving up some money (0.1951)
reading pictures for sad children (0.1951)
not seeing Nicolas Cage after seeing Face Off (0.1951)
signing up for Twitter (0.1992)
delicious ice cream (0.2000)
a glorious fart (0.2000)
going on a bicycle tour (0.2000)
not having played Kingdom Hearts yet (0.2000)
busting through the heavens with your drill (0.2000)
being the hottest item on the regret index (0.2000)
dandelion wine (0.2000)
buying the newer model (0.2000)
hooking up with ryan (0.2000)
flipping off everyone you hated from high school (0.2000)
losing your religion (0.2000)
that larder is a pretty neat, word, a holdover whose anachronistic meaning specifically meant a COLD storage room, but post refrigeration came to mean simply a pantry, but it could also mean a supply of food, the thing itself (0.2000)
making pies (0.2000)
that crazy night in Pheonix (0.2000)
how awesome broiling is (0.2000)
British English (0.2000)
finally taking a chance and talking to him or her (0.2000)
someday wanting to own land, with fruit growing on that land (0.2000)
getting over your ex so quickly (0.2000)
jumping in that lake (0.2022)
buying a Mac (0.2027)
not going to dartmouth (0.2034)
making love to your hand (0.2035)
extra sprinkles (0.2037)
Fictional Jimbo Wales (0.2041)
being bigger on the inside (0.2045)
listening to the whole CD (0.2051)
giving a gift as a surprise (0.2055)
finding the key to the secret garden (0.2059)
liking folk rock (0.2059)
mARRIAGE (0.2059)
experimenting with new and interesting sandwich fillings (0.2065)
running with scissors (0.2065)
swallowing (0.2069)
the Lord of the Rings (0.2079)
singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lungs (0.2083)
the resurrection of the regret index (0.2083)
being mean to the neighbor's rude kid (0.2083)
ever reading that first comic strip on the Web (0.2083)
changing your cell phone number (0.2083)
spending two hours on the phone with your grandmother (0.2083)
thanksgiving (0.2086)
not going to prom (0.2088)
sleeping for thirteen hours (0.2105)
eating cows (0.2105)
wearing a tshirt with a dinosaur on it to a dinosaur museum (0.2105)
being Witty (0.2105)
xkcd (0.2105)
wanting to take a girl under your arm (0.2105)
Dinosaur Comics' new layout (0.2105)
turning it up to eleven (0.2105)
correcting your friends everytime they misspell Dromiceiomimus (0.2105)
magic (0.2105)
the Dromiceiomimus' improbable colouring (0.2105)
pancakes (0.2105)
going to Spain (0.2105)
staying up all night to watch an eighteen year old paint her nails online (0.2115)
feeling closer to people in this world of regret (0.2121)
watching the Donald Duck cartoon "Die Fuhrer's Face" (0.2121)
buying a motorcycle (0.2121)
playing chess (0.2121)
post it notes (0.2128)
switching parties (0.2128)
what you did last Friday night (0.2135)
lying on a futon (0.2143)
using words that are not really words (0.2143)
air guitar (0.2143)
going to university (0.2143)
eating pizza (0.2143)
Monty Python (0.2143)
the invention of custard (0.2143)
being the lazer viking (0.2143)
not killing every faggot I've ever seen in my entire life (0.2143)
disagreeing with things (0.2143)
chocolate (0.2143)
wondering, if the death machine was made of organic technology, could it predict its own death (0.2143)
jerking off into your roommate's shampoo bottle, not just once but every day for like two weeks (0.2143)
that consomme is broth with will (0.2143)
listening to music at a much higher or lower volume than what the artist intended (0.2143)
wondering if we can get back up to forty thousand regrets in a year's time (0.2143)
going to market (0.2143)
masturbating at a Jessica Alba movie (0.2143)
making your time (0.2143)
being really cool (0.2143)
facial hair (0.2143)
Jack Kerouac (0.2143)
using hugs, not drugs (0.2157)
going to the beach alone (0.2157)
being American (0.2160)
knowing why the caged bird sings (0.2162)
ephemera (0.2174)
telling your brother he was adopted (0.2174)
this place smelling like brownies all of the sudden (0.2174)
taking care of knives (0.2174)
eating a tasty salad (0.2174)
giggling over a heart's warm cockles (0.2174)
not eating Pizza Hut pizza (0.2174)
punching that baby, despite it's rude behavior (0.2174)
purposely deceiving someone who never listens to what you have to say (0.2182)
following Stephen Fry on Twitter (0.2192)
the death of Clippy (0.2200)
missing the NBA playoffs to watch the new episode of 'Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern' (0.2203)
almost always using the British spellings for things, even though you are an American and your spell check always tells you it's wrong (0.2206)
shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die (0.2211)
sending the President into exile (0.2222)
pictures for sad children (0.2222)
playing dress up (0.2222)
raspberries, om nom nom (0.2222)
volunteering (0.2222)
that you never had a chance to tell Farty McCrablice that YOU LOVE HIM (0.2222)
being too awesome (0.2222)
PIN numbers (0.2222)
fighting the Nausican (0.2222)
major tom (0.2222)
Loosing you religion or faith (0.2222)
getting a tattoo (0.2222)
good times (0.2222)
becoming vegetarian or vegan (0.2222)
being Anonymous (0.2222)
feeding the ducks (0.2222)
painting your fingernails lime green (0.2222)
tiger's belly (0.2222)
explaining to someone what the Regret Index is (0.2222)
wondering what the significance of the qwantz dot com domain name is (0.2222)
looking at pictures of adorable puppies (0.2222)
stealing the enterprise (0.2241)
crying during the first ten minutes of the new Star Trek movie (0.2241)
dancing all crazy (0.2250)
xylophones (0.2250)
EXISTING (0.2254)
spreading your legs (0.2258)
escaping out the back (0.2258)
cooking bacon (0.2273)
takin it to the streets (0.2273)
ATM machines (0.2273)
making love above the pub (0.2273)
staying on the phone all night (0.2273)
cut and pasting a webcomic (0.2273)
tapirs (0.2273)
quitting even though the job was OK, but just OK (0.2273)
writing slashfiction about webcomic authors (0.2286)
a lifetime dedicated to public displays of air guitar (0.2286)
what happened in vegas (0.2286)
not settling down when all your friends did (0.2286)
wondering if there's a way to extract all of these autofill regrets into a text file for saving and possibly choosing the better ones (0.2286)
optical illusions (0.2292)
the internet (0.2293)
the general awesomeness of blacklights (0.2308)
that dreaming is free (0.2308)
being a pantyaire, like a millionaire but with panties instead of money (0.2308)
reproducing via meiosis (0.2308)
puttin' on the ritz (0.2308)
globalisation (0.2308)
preferring women with body hair over women who shave (0.2308)
studying linguistics (0.2308)
not knowing who Richard Dawkins is (0.2308)
playing god (0.2308)
being your mother's child (0.2308)
filling your thesis with references to monkeys (0.2308)
birth control (0.2308)
actually finding pigeons more cute than vermin like (0.2308)
having an adolescent crush on Christopher Walken (0.2308)
leaving a legacy (0.2308)
eating cheese just for the sake of eating cheese (0.2308)
that you like pie quite a bit (0.2308)
eating lunch yesterday (0.2308)
having an affair with the flirty executive assistant (0.2308)
running away from indie cred, even though you listen to some of the music (0.2308)
stories about elves and unicorns (0.2308)
extra cheese (0.2308)
a French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson wearing a strap on under a fancy ball gown, just to piss off his rich bitch girlfriend and her annoying family (0.2308)
having a cute little white butt (0.2308)
not having a penis (0.2308)
reading every single Dinosaur Comic from beginning to end in a single sitting (0.2308)
horseshoe crabs (0.2308)
vaguely effeminate dancing frogs (0.2308)
buying a chocolate bar without checking the label first, only to find it had peanuts in it (0.2320)
spending a whole bunch of time reading random articles on wikipedia (0.2326)
that your delicious cheeseburger was made from a cow whose cause of death was predicted by an infallible machine (0.2326)
chewing bubblegum (0.2326)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (0.2328)
getting a credit card (0.2329)
your haircut (0.2333)
referring to water as hydrogen hydroxide, as a means to both achieve maximal accuracy from the perspective of how the atoms are actually connected, and freaking people out (0.2333)
getting out of bed this morning (0.2333)
Grad school (0.2336)
sticking with your major (0.2340)
only that you have but one life to give for your country (0.2340)
log cabin (0.2340)
spending an entire day listening to the same song on repeat (0.2348)
comitting massive regret vote fraud (0.2353)
eating food that are high in potastium (0.2353)
writing the letter "x" backwards and upsidedown (0.2353)
going to church (0.2353)
thinking that dinosaur might be good to eat, depending on the species, but wondering if the size of the animal would effect the texture of the meat or something like that (0.2353)
retiring early (0.2353)
the moon (0.2353)
anonymity (0.2353)
deep frying boring healthy food (0.2353)
tapping her mana (0.2353)
growing a handlebar moustache (0.2353)
eating babies (0.2353)
wearing that outfit at the same time she did (0.2353)
paying for something with fifteen dollars in quarters (0.2353)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (0.2353)
dancing with the devil in the pale moon light (0.2353)
wearing hipster glasses (0.2360)
leaving the farm (0.2368)
irony (0.2368)
getting hooked on Harry Potter or Twilight (0.2375)
shit son, I don't know (0.2381)
making fun of people who instigate fights in YouTube's comments section (0.2381)
adding this to StumbleUpon (0.2381)
ice cream (0.2381)
buying a Wii (0.2381)
selling your nintendo wii (0.2381)
reading, that shit is crazy (0.2381)
being the latest in nerd technology (0.2381)
doing it for the lulz (0.2386)
Skipping the Fiance's family Easter Dinner to play xbox and go to a concert (0.2389)
missing Efterklang at the Dublin Docklands (0.2400)
broken broccoli (0.2400)
falling in love (0.2400)
inventing a maneuver (0.2400)
helvetica (0.2400)
airing out your nughty bits (0.2400)
losing your religion, like in that one song (0.2400)
going to an Ivy League school (0.2400)
Paris (0.2400)
impersonating that person (0.2400)
trying something new (0.2404)
orthodontics (0.2407)
penis (0.2407)
using flesh for digestive energy (0.2411)
Dresden Codak (0.2414)
still knowing the lyrics to nineties pop songs (0.2414)
not being on fire (0.2418)
my high GPA in high school (0.2418)
nothing (0.2421)
smoking pot (0.2421)
going through a Bob Marley phase in college, like EVERYONE else (0.2424)
love (0.2424)
tweed jackets with leather elbow patches (0.2429)
asking her out (0.2435)
the english alphabet (0.2436)
turning up at Ryan's door covered in mustard (0.2449)
giving up eating mammals (0.2460)
rereading all the harry potter books (0.2462)
dating someone much younger (0.2474)
breaking up with my first love (0.2482)
speaking in spoonerisms (0.2500)
being born during the hot war (0.2500)
girls, ewwwwww (0.2500)
licking out a feminist (0.2500)
fluffy cats (0.2500)
picking up the banana phone (0.2500)
wondering what kind of girl would be impressed with somebody smoking, it doesn't seem that difficult to do (0.2500)
thinking someone was hot just because they were good at maths (0.2500)
sexual congress (0.2500)
the first time you got drunk (0.2500)
books (0.2500)
correcting people on their improper use of the subjunctive (0.2500)
tickling her THERE (0.2500)
not giving David Gwilliam kisses before he got married (0.2500)
deep fat frying a twinkie (0.2500)
line dancing while drunk (0.2500)
falling in love with the majesty of colors (0.2500)
having sexy intestines (0.2500)
the existence of the interrobang! (0.2500)
lesbians (0.2500)
knowing she was gay and still dating her (0.2500)
a b a a b a b b b a b a a a a b b a b a b a a b b a a b b b a a b b a b b b a b b a b a a a b b b b b a a b b b a a a b a b a b a b a b b a b a a b b a b b a a a a b a b a b a a b b a b b a b a b b b a a b b a a b b a b b a b b b a a a b a b a b a b b a a (0.2500)
getting a liberal arts education (0.2500)
ira glass vs philip glass in "glass warfare" (0.2500)
using my mom's deodorant (0.2500)
girls with full lips and wide hips (0.2500)
living and learning (0.2500)
making fun of fat swans (0.2500)
not having balls (0.2500)
being crazy and or retarded (0.2500)
eating a minimalist (0.2500)
hugging a koala (0.2500)
having low pop culture IQ (0.2500)
deliberately misunderstanding offensive slang by taking it literally, ie assume when someone says 'faggot' that they refer to a bundle of sticks or twigs (0.2500)
the Pythagorean theorem (0.2500)
never dealing drugs (0.2500)
life being so tasty (0.2500)
ever saying "no fat chicks" (0.2500)
being scared of Kefka (0.2500)
your very existence (0.2500)
liking songs that seem innocent on first listening, but end up being about serial killers or something like that (0.2500)
underboob (0.2500)
taking the boat (0.2500)
your sudden urge to make brownies (0.2500)
the simpsons (0.2500)
all of the weird things you are a fan of (0.2500)
that English is your fourth language and you speak it better than your first but not your second (0.2500)
wondering what goes through their little kitty brains (0.2500)
going the extra mile (0.2500)
having sex with your boss' underage daughter (0.2500)
being a huge nerd (0.2500)
answering the telephone in a foreign language (0.2500)
being necessarily clever (0.2500)
that aloe plants are awesome (0.2500)
trolling the UK government petition site with stupid petitions you know would be rejected (0.2500)
that Japanese people LOVE coelacanths (0.2500)
Ryan getting the Regret Index back up (0.2500)
a clandestine meating (0.2500)
considering eating two dollars and fifty cents worth of raspberries in one sitting (0.2500)
being The One (0.2500)
English (0.2500)
getting divorced (0.2500)
yogurt's laxative properties (0.2500)
eating mexican food (0.2540)
unpacking my adjectives (0.2542)
dyeing your hair (0.2545)
not googling The Underfold (0.2554)
socializing instead of playing video games (0.2556)
chromatic scales (0.2558)
being (0.2558)
wishing you could give yourself a blowie (0.2564)
not listening to Billy Zane (0.2564)
tang (0.2564)
not trying alcohol sooner (0.2564)
sexy times with a friend (0.2570)
not knowing what the big deal with Twitter is (0.2571)
being a socialist (0.2571)
telling him you had feelings for him even though you really didn't know whether he'd reciprocate (0.2581)
puppy dawgs (0.2581)
quoting that xkcd comic (0.2581)
going back for seconds on dessert (0.2582)
painting your fingernails black (0.2593)
being a Shakespeare nerd (0.2593)
eating macademia nuts (0.2593)
lying about how spicy it was (0.2593)
eating tofu (0.2595)
the final countdown (0.2600)
Philip Fry's eleventh year of living in the future (0.2609)
eating all the royalty (0.2609)
eating out a feminist (0.2609)
bursting out into evil laughter in a crowded or public place (0.2609)
eating that piece of chocolate (0.2609)
throwing your underwear onto the stage (0.2609)
going to graduate school (0.2614)
starting that fire (0.2619)
having known love (0.2619)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then talking like Ryan for the next month (0.2619)
learning lisp (0.2619)
giving your best when you know it won't be enough (0.2632)
wanting gummi bears and or banana chips right now (0.2632)
sexuality (0.2632)
polygamy (0.2632)
cooking hamburgers on my engine block (0.2632)
your twisted desires (0.2632)
living on the edge (0.2632)
wondering what kind of feelings different animals feel (0.2632)
going commando (0.2632)
everything (0.2632)
being vaguely european (0.2632)
being there for her when she needed you (0.2632)
writing a novel (0.2632)
being winsome (0.2632)
taking comfort in the regret index in any way whatsoever (0.2632)
eating that cookie out of the trash (0.2632)
selling myself to science (0.2632)
that shorts are comfy and easy to wear (0.2647)
insisting on precision (0.2656)
responding with Sassy Molassy (0.2658)
alligators in the sewer (0.2667)
popping the zits on your ass (0.2667)
eating food that fell on the ground (0.2667)
The Princess Bride (0.2667)
taking the last brownie (0.2667)
cleaning out your bowels through the act of pooping (0.2667)
slowly replacing every part of your body with machinery (0.2667)
loving your mama (0.2667)
buying one of each in EVERY COLOUR (0.2667)
letting her sit in the front seat (0.2667)
being a dog person (0.2667)
not having tiny brown birds live behind your air conditioner (0.2667)
spooning Jewel's boobs (0.2667)
crowdsurfing (0.2667)
mocha (0.2667)
that all you know about Final Fantasy, you learned from a friend who really liked it when you were teenagers (0.2667)
Peeing in someone's drink (0.2667)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then tasting like Ryan for the next month (0.2667)
pokemon (0.2673)
doing a favour that I knew would not be repayed (0.2674)
watching Borat (0.2681)
Wagner (0.2692)
not memorising every Star Trek episode (0.2692)
listining to something when you know it'll make you cry (0.2692)
white text on a dark background (0.2692)
living drug free (0.2692)
that now that the Regret Index is back, you can go back to ignoring your Facebook, Twitter, Livejournal, Tegaki, and Deviantart (0.2692)
eating a vegan (0.2692)
your First Time (0.2698)
losing your virginity when you did (0.2703)
switching majors (0.2703)
private school (0.2703)
a tiny woman (0.2703)
eating pistachio nuts (0.2708)
putting these dumb questions on here (0.2716)
saying the name of the Scottish play (0.2727)
not eating my shorts (0.2727)
changing your name (0.2727)
taking up the ukulele (0.2727)
Werther's Originals (0.2727)
tagging the Wikipedia article on irony as "contradicts itself" (0.2727)
sighing (0.2727)
pushing it well (0.2727)
a giant cup of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmellows and cream (0.2727)
floating in a most peculiar way (0.2727)
dating (0.2727)
brutal legend (0.2727)
waking up late in the afternoon (0.2727)
ripping off penis jokes (0.2727)
uisng pirate insults in a real fight (0.2727)
challenging someone to a duel via a glove to the face (0.2727)
pushing it real good (0.2727)
whaling on the moon (0.2727)
wondering where all these regretters came from (0.2727)
joining community theater (0.2727)
being childfree (0.2727)
banjo dueling (0.2727)
loving (0.2727)
boneless skinless chicken breasts (0.2727)
not sleeping with that tranvestite (0.2727)
hasbro (0.2727)
opening a nice, refreshing Tab (0.2727)
making references to poetry (0.2727)
loving Canada (0.2727)
theamazingregretindexing (0.2727)
hide and seek (0.2727)
being the king of all cosmos (0.2727)
OGC Man (0.2727)
eating bacon made from pigs that had swine flu (0.2727)
M C Escher (0.2727)
halving a seventeen inch long penis (0.2727)
going wee wee wee all the way home (0.2727)
Taking an art degree (0.2727)
going to the fancy dress party as Batman, knowing full well that the theme had no conceivable connection to Batman (0.2727)
making friends with a cat named Badger (0.2727)
drinking from the tap (0.2727)
going out to the woods today (0.2727)
sending emails using your friends emails when he or she leaves themselves logged in and are not looking (0.2745)
cooking yourself a lavish meal and not sharing it with anyone (0.2746)
eating that last cookie (0.2747)
having a winsome onesome (0.2750)
living with your mother (0.2750)
coming on to the regret index (0.2759)
the venture brothers (0.2759)
for some reason having a bias against nicotine (0.2759)
opening the windows (0.2759)
that your livingroom is full of dancers (0.2759)
fasting (0.2759)
listening to a favorite song on repeat for hours (0.2759)
flames (0.2759)
coming to this site (0.2763)
using this site to admit your regrets (0.2766)
having that threesome (0.2766)
super fat hippos (0.2766)
getting (0.2768)
asking them out (0.2770)
asking them to wait for you (0.2778)
walruses (0.2778)
homographic homophonic autantonyms (0.2778)
looking at gross and fascinating things on Wikipedia (0.2778)
being Ryan (0.2778)
wondering why rachel has returned to commenting without using her name (0.2778)
liking fat thighs you can not lie (0.2778)
your wares (0.2778)
eating boxed triceratops (0.2778)
not telling your parents (0.2788)
memorizing Monty Python and the Holy Grail (0.2791)
not knowing any ABBA songs by Heart (0.2791)
getting mushrooms on your pizza (0.2796)
that someone keeps looking at my submitted regrets and combining them to form hilarious new ones (0.2800)
coming out (0.2800)
being well endowed (0.2800)
that you were only referring to the subjects of ABBA's music primarily seeming to come from a feminine point of view, but yeah, you don't mind referring to longhaired blonde Swedish dudes as "chicks" (0.2800)
going back in time to punch nazis in da face (0.2800)
learning so many digits of pi (0.2800)
not owning a single pair of tube socks (0.2800)
not having an abortion (0.2800)
being well envoweled (0.2800)
spending the entire night going through the archives of that webcomic (0.2804)
zombies ate my neighbors (0.2813)
masturbating (0.2813)
wanting to discover life with someone (0.2813)
doing acid (0.2813)
boats (0.2813)
your gay experience (0.2817)
missing the Butthole Surfers concert (0.2821)
throwing your hands up in the air, waving them around like you just don't care (0.2821)
the successful launch of Sputnik I (0.2826)
eating too much at Thanksgiving (0.2836)
watching House (0.2847)
following a dream even though it didn't work out (0.2857)
tieing your best friend up (0.2857)
the ventures (0.2857)
using drugs (0.2857)
winter (0.2857)
being born after Freddy Mercury died (0.2857)
ordering from Amazon marketplace (0.2857)
your fingertips tasting like garlic (0.2857)
pooping on a dog (0.2857)
throwing meat at vegans (0.2857)
only listening to good music (0.2857)
being honest (0.2857)
taking an expectorant (0.2857)
wanting to ride your bicycle, wanting to ride it when you like (0.2857)
your double agency (0.2857)
your time machine (0.2857)
coconut bras (0.2857)
having your memories backed up on a thumb drive (0.2857)
the death of a disco dancer (0.2857)
living in a country that doesn't have bagged milk (0.2857)
loving songs that have really depressing lyrics to go along with a happy beat (0.2857)
never doing bad things (0.2857)
that your whole family is made of meat (0.2857)
vowels (0.2857)
having a detachable penis (0.2857)
fucking his mom (0.2857)
screaming I LOVE YOU from the top of your lungs (0.2857)
eating snakes (0.2857)
taking the Amtrak (0.2857)
kissing him (0.2864)
deciding you are too cool to go to the prom (0.2867)
telling the truth, even though it hurt him (0.2875)
secretly wanting internet fame (0.2877)
intentionally spreading Swine Flu (0.2879)
kissing that boy in Ithaca (0.2885)
rubbing my face in a tiger's belly (0.2889)
going POOP (0.2895)
thinking that the dude in the header of this website is kinda cute (0.2895)
playing Spyro (0.2895)
that Weezing is a member of both the Team Rocket Poison Type binary with Arbok, and the Cinnabar Mansion Pollution binary with Muk (0.2917)
loving chocolate so damn much (0.2917)
The Ten Second Rule (0.2917)
cathedrals (0.2917)
going on to hotornot just to give everyone a really low score to stop them getting big headed (0.2917)
your circumcision (0.2917)
gazing (0.2917)
not sleeping with him (0.2917)
flirting with somebody other than your significant other (0.2924)
picking Charmander (0.2927)
tackling her (0.2927)
sleeping with your best friend (0.2931)
taking the red pill (0.2933)
being a child once (0.2941)
that fry is your favorite character on futurama (0.2941)
your internet name lasting this long (0.2941)
the flowers that bloom in the spring (0.2941)
not voting for the President (0.2941)
using ghee as an intimate lubricant (0.2941)
getting it pierced (0.2941)
only wanting to see Wolverine because of the hot, hairy Liev Schreiber (0.2941)
taking it all off (0.2941)
wondering how one gets a job as a taxidermist and bone cleaner (0.2941)
accidentally setting my balls on fire with a barbecue lighter (0.2941)
peeing in the shower (0.2941)
rioting with the frenzied mob (0.2941)
using only one pokemon (0.2941)
coming from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow (0.2941)
not giving change to what you thought was a homeless guy but was just some dude in need of a shower (0.2941)
driving all day in order to pick up your brother, who is coming home for the summer (0.2941)
every sexual experience you've ever had (0.2941)
adding a new regret (0.2941)
going to a tiny college (0.2941)
giving that bum some money (0.2947)
waking up this morning (0.2954)
hanging out with strangers on public transit (0.2960)
eating some vittles (0.2963)
chewing on things (0.2963)
cutting off your long hair (0.2963)
forgetting sarah marshall (0.2963)
geometry (0.2963)
pressing that big button (0.2963)
wondering if anyone has the old regret list (0.2963)
not getting circumcised (0.2979)
laughing because you suddenly remembered something hilarious, then realizing strangers are looking at you (0.2984)
can mine for fish (0.3000)
that there is no such thing as an original sin (0.3000)
Friends (0.3000)
Batman (0.3000)
having a friend with benefits (0.3000)
cleaning up after yourself (0.3000)
looking through all the old regrets you made, using the cache (0.3000)
eating a child once (0.3000)
decimating this pie (0.3000)
sex with your best friend (0.3000)

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

being a minimalist (4566)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (4322)
Kento (4240)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (4115)
not getting circumcised (4091)
[ show more ]