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finally, a manic pixie dream girl without all the icky menstruation?
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recent regrets

did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Dizzy the Wise
an empire of giants that collapsed
a wilderness loving barbarian race that uses domesticated dinosaurs as mounts
stupid sexy Shelob
shaving a vine with Seven of Nine
Tolkien does not specifically mention cock size as a generic hobbit trait, but does make it the distinctive trait of the Proudcock hobbit family
sexy Shelob
Snake Outta Compton
tempting Gandalf
even though she's got to be closer to sixty than forty
starring Sandra Bullock
an all female Old West town is visited by an attractive young gunslinger who is at first treated with scorn until the townsfolk realize she could entice local outlaws to drink and spend money in the town, High Tits Drifter
Tolkien does not specifically mention foot size as a generic hobbit trait, but does make it the distinctive trait of the Proudfoot hobbit family
wanting to make Kento twenty first century schizoid man for his birthday
wanting to make Kento mellified man for his birthday
defiling that Hitler's fridge with your girth
down beside thigh tit deferral
down beside that Hitler fridge
down beside that girth defiler
down beside that red firelight
[ show all 131027 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) betting your right nut on a pair of jacks
(1) being in the unfortunate habit of falling for a pretty smile
(5) that being bound, gagged, hooded and beaten in a freezing cold barn in the middle of nowhere, hosed down, sworn at, beaten, ridiculed, beaten again, beaten some more and then electrocuted gratuitously makes you uncomfortable
(1) the Island of the Virgin Presidents
(2) back in the nineties when getting caught with your dick in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer
(1) let who who has never sexually harassed and raped record breaking numbers of women over a span of four decades cast the first stone, amirite
(1) seriously, we should unionize
(2) getting a serious looking face tattooed on one boob and a man's body in miniature beneath with a speech bubble on the other boob and the words "I'm a breast man myself" simply to commit to a very involved joke
(4) wondering which barely scientific scifi world would be best to live in
(2) the New York of the F#R#I#E#N#D#S# seems pretty sweet, with the giant ass affordable vermin free modern apartments and the abundance of great jobs
[ show more ]

search regrets

Look for regrets involving

top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
Owen and Mzee (0.0000)
teabagging Raymond Burr (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND (0.0000)
tits (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
masturbating with your cut off hand (0.0000)
brunettes (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
having Gordon Ramsay voice an orangutan who does nothing but masturbate and defecate (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
not eating out Kento (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
pussy (0.0000)
smashing a birdhouse with your flaccid dick (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
shaving Jewel's bush, meow (0.0000)
stabbing Isabella Rossellini and ejaculating in the wound (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Kimmie Gibbler (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
turtles (0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0004)
breasts (0.0135)
regret index greatest tits, Kento (0.0153)
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North (0.0161)
slamming your dick in Jewel's boobs (0.0185)
saying no when you should have said yes (0.0217)
having a lesbian crush on Alex Dainis (0.0233)
dongs (0.0297)
staring at Bicoid Babe's ass seriously (0.0310)
Twin Long Rods #Two (0.0345)
asian racks (0.0357)
fisting Kevin Bacon at home (0.0370)
hating reality TV shows (0.0385)
sexy makeouts (0.0400)
going to the Sweatiest Ass in the World world premiere with Kento (0.0408)
being awesome (0.0410)
going slightly out of your way to step on that crunchy looking leaf (0.0433)
consistent pubic lice (0.0455)
dinosaurs (0.0466)
Receiving from Jaylala (0.0476)
being the real deal (0.0526)
breastfeeding (0.0526)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0541)
learning to play the xylophone (0.0543)
Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol (0.0556)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0556)
how weird The Regret Index becomes at night (0.0556)
being a nerd (0.0580)
drinking delicious lemonade and popping wheelies (0.0588)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0606)
boobs (0.0606)
managing to resist the perverse curiosity to see TwoGirlsOneCup, so far (0.0625)
demanding proof (0.0625)
building a castle out of the junk in a junkyard (0.0625)
this video (0.0667)
sleeping with that slim ugly huge breasted double D cup bucktoothed seventeen year old national merit scolar bikini model cellist goth, and by the way, screw you MB (0.0714)
that Jewel has huge boobs, seriously (0.0714)
having to wear glasses (0.0714)
wondering what penguin would tase like (0.0714)
really not regretting the number one four two eight at all (0.0714)
your love of eighties action movies (0.0727)
getting FOUR fish hooks stuck in your scrotum (0.0769)
discovering webcomics (0.0769)
choosing Squirtle (0.0769)
defending the bullied kid (0.0769)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0769)
not wearing panties (0.0769)
playing it loud (0.0769)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0769)
boobs, vaginas, asses, and such (0.0769)
futurama (0.0769)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0811)
making a fort in your living room out of couch cushions (0.0816)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0833)
not supporting the President (0.0833)
having beautiful breasts (0.0833)
soliciting a fourteen year old boy to pose for sexually explicit photographs (0.0833)
"Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol" being voted off the bottom regrets list (0.0833)
Bicoid Babe (0.0833)
dinosaur comics (0.0833)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (0.0833)
that wikipedia describes attending concerts as a "ritual" (0.0833)
disabling your crazy friend (0.0833)
cuddling (0.0833)
saying, "boners ahoy!" (0.0853)
Digimon (0.0870)
staying in college (0.0879)
sharing warm spiced cider with a loved one (0.0891)
garlic (0.0909)
making waffles (0.0909)
NOT kneeling before Zod (0.0909)
baking bread (0.0909)
Bicoid Babe (0.0909)
suckling (0.0909)
hugging a tree like a dirty hippie (0.0909)
indulging your nerd side (0.0909)
Squirtle (0.0909)
nomming a hamburger (0.0909)
kicking it old school (0.0926)
moving out of your parent's house (0.0941)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0952)
treehouses (0.0952)
fun times involving sushi (0.0959)
learning another language (0.0962)
not having seen Muriel's Wedding (0.0968)
publicly mocking Swine Flu (0.0970)
dromiceiomimus (0.0976)
butts (0.0982)
rocking out (0.0988)
less than three (0.1000)
sitting on the floor in second grade (0.1000)
growing up in a nonchurchgoing family (0.1000)
drinking delicious lemonade (0.1014)
buying a Dinosaur Comics tshirt (0.1017)
sleeping naked (0.1026)
playing videogames while drunk (0.1048)
defending cream soda (0.1062)
the last time you drank (0.1071)
the very last thing you said (0.1071)
opening new cider (0.1077)
that stuff getting eaten is inherently funny (0.1111)
following that white rabbit (0.1111)
the death of Margaret Hilda Thatcher (0.1111)
spending all weekend naked (0.1111)
hugging a tree like a koala (0.1111)
kissing (0.1116)
becoming an atheist (0.1124)
getting into firefly (0.1126)
saying 'boners ahoy' (0.1127)
World War Two's ending in Allied victory (0.1129)
party party partying hard (0.1136)
eating raised bread (0.1154)
closing the door (0.1154)
boners (0.1156)
friendship (0.1167)
that rachel is back (0.1176)
downloading music illegally (0.1176)
spending an evening eating spicy cheetos, reading language log, and masturbating to nude photos of your ex from five years ago (0.1176)
the little wiggly things at the end of feet (0.1176)
making a little space for the cheese slices (0.1176)
drinking your first drink (0.1183)
putting punctuation in your comment (0.1184)
getting your hot cocoa on (0.1200)
skipping work to sit in the sun (0.1200)
accepting candy from strangers (0.1204)
starting over (0.1206)
thinking of rain (0.1212)
the color of blood outside the body when one has iron based blood (0.1212)
drinking a cold beer in the shower (0.1228)
breathing (0.1239)
hating family guy almost as soon as it was uncanceled (0.1250)
reading the book that changed everything (0.1250)
smoking weed (0.1266)
popping wheelies with the boys (0.1275)
winning (0.1287)
watching Mystery Science Theatre all night (0.1304)
that groove is in the heart (0.1304)
having sex at seventeen (0.1304)
vandalizing Wikipedia's chicken page that one time (0.1304)
ryan north (0.1308)
talking to strangers (0.1311)
not getting the chance to meet the Mets (0.1311)
free speech (0.1316)
voting (0.1324)
flushing that gallon of rotten shrimp down the toilet (0.1333)
attempting to lucid dream (0.1333)
eating goat cheese (0.1333)
Zooey Deschanel looks like a sandblasted Lucy Lawless (0.1333)
not installing Safari Three on all your computers yet (0.1333)
obama (0.1348)
qwantz (0.1356)
making mud soup as a kid (0.1364)
kissing her (0.1364)
making out with that girl dressed as a French maid at that costume party (0.1364)
holding hands (0.1364)
Voting for Barak Obama (0.1379)
being one of the very few people in your circle of friends to never really have the urge to smoke cigarettes (0.1389)
singing along (0.1395)
lasers (0.1395)
not wringing your parent's neck (0.1400)
not having kids (0.1408)
skipping the Harry Potter midnight release (0.1413)
ap classes (0.1413)
taking AP classes (0.1417)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (0.1429)
I don't know, always kind of liking narwhals yourself (0.1429)
going hog wild (0.1429)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider (0.1429)
having erotic fantasies about Bob Dylan (0.1429)
not going to freecreditreport dot com (0.1429)
polydactyl cats (0.1429)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of p subscript i to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.1429)
What is this I don't even (0.1429)
kicking everyone's butt (0.1429)
spooning Kento's boobs (0.1429)
going to lunch (0.1429)
in jokes (0.1429)
being a rocker (0.1429)
not boning a donkey (0.1429)
sexy spaceships (0.1429)
losing your virginity (0.1429)
paying for a whole seat but only using the edge (0.1429)
liking michael showalter a lot (0.1429)
dropping your first truth and beauty bomb (0.1429)
putting your jeans and socks in one load (0.1429)
growing long hair (0.1453)
living abroad (0.1477)
not being pretentious enough (0.1481)
all those books you read (0.1481)
blowing raspberries (0.1500)
passing yourself off as royalty (0.1500)
eating vaguely european (0.1500)
accepting a lower paying but much less stressfull job (0.1505)
burning that motherfucker down (0.1515)
going to the gym (0.1524)
pie (0.1538)
sneaking around in a cardboard box, Metal Gear style (0.1538)
physically assaulting that guy who can't even bother to tune in the easy listening station properly in his cubicle (0.1538)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.1538)
The Middleman being cancelled (0.1538)
wearing two socks (0.1538)
keeping on trucking (0.1538)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.1538)
that you always liked Mike more than Joel (0.1538)
that "bottom regrets" and "most voted regrets" are white while "add a new regret" "search regrets" "recent regrets" "top regrets" and "recent comments" are all in blue (0.1538)
trying that exotic food (0.1544)
not kissing up to people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.1556)
memorising every Star Trek episode (0.1557)
keeping it real (0.1557)
that "avril lavigne" in Canadia is a line of spring fresh canuck bidets (0.1579)
getting drunk at a wedding (0.1579)
loving Batman (0.1579)
having seen Star Wars all the through probably over a hundred times (0.1579)
breaking the law (0.1583)
learning an instrument (0.1587)
gay (0.1587)
having a power level of over NINE THOUSAND (0.1591)
Being born (0.1595)
that you tend to give money to buskers or not depending on their talent (0.1600)
eating in a rad mood (0.1600)
spending an entire weekend in your pjs (0.1605)
reading the regret index (0.1613)
eating bread (0.1622)
the indescribable beauty of simplicity (0.1622)
wikipedia (0.1622)
being meat (0.1622)
eating meat (0.1628)
playing Starfox Sixty Four (0.1647)
how many times you went back over the archive for Dinosaur comics (0.1648)
Pretending to be asleep to avoid talking (0.1649)
visiting this website (0.1656)
having roast beef (0.1667)
always eating your skittles in prismatic order (0.1667)
christmas (0.1667)
not eating goats for a living (0.1667)
eating her out (0.1667)
questioning your sexuality (0.1667)
wondering if so many ladies turn to writing and reading smut because they crave porn but get turned off by the way it's made (0.1667)
sweetness (0.1667)
eating left handed (0.1667)
busting myths (0.1667)
pudding (0.1667)
refusing to accept the modern sense of "tweet" into your vocabulary (0.1667)
Getting into Miles Davis (0.1667)
being the one kid in your nerd clique who instantly hated Return of the Jedi with a passion (0.1667)
randomly meeting people who fill your heart with glee (0.1667)
watching 'The Dark Knight' (0.1667)
cheese (0.1667)
being able to say 'when I was your age, pluto was a planet' (0.1695)
playing in traffic (0.1696)
being British (0.1698)
having a onesome (0.1717)
hugging a tree (0.1719)
dancing naked ALL DAY LONG (0.1739)
listening to Wagner (0.1739)
neing a super freak super freak (0.1739)
wondering whether Kento, Document, Sarah, and Pseudonym have found the new regret index yet (0.1739)
not waxing your eyebrows in high school (0.1748)
that where we're going we don't need roads (0.1748)
preparing for the zombie apocalypse (0.1750)
a log cabin (0.1757)
staying up all night to watch the sun rise (0.1757)
getting a lick job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake (0.1765)
Garfield Minus Garfield (0.1765)
putting on your robe and wizard hat (0.1765)
dessert (0.1765)
thinking of lettuce as just a delivery system for salad dressing (0.1765)
eating a huge nerd (0.1765)
planning for the zombie attack (0.1765)
not meeting Emily Gray (0.1765)
not being one of those women who instantly fawn over babies (0.1765)
loving lamp (0.1771)
having a crush on the Utahraptor (0.1773)
peanut butter (0.1778)
that Venn diagramming is your favorite type of diagramming (0.1786)
not switching to Geico (0.1786)
breaking bones while snowboarding (0.1786)
sexing her hardcore (0.1786)
painting the bedroom a color other than white or offwhite (0.1789)
still knowing the lyrics to eighties pop songs (0.1795)
that the Index is back, and the old users are back, and it is amazing nostalgic times for all (0.1795)
bacon (0.1795)
not smoking (0.1795)
road trips (0.1818)
spending the Fourth in someone else's country (0.1818)
simple english wikipedia (0.1818)
streaking (0.1818)
camping (0.1818)
hot bondage (0.1818)
that, in a way, David Carradine's death from autoerotic asphyxiation could properly be termed "a fatal stroke" (0.1818)
brownies (0.1818)
hating swans (0.1818)
eating a huge marshmallow (0.1818)
using the word "substitute" as a substitute for "replacement" (0.1818)
bringing up your distaste for Disney music (0.1818)
recognizing the beauty of mathematics and logic (0.1818)
that you wonder if rachel would be in your klan or hoard or guild or whatever when the pokemon mmorpg comes out (0.1818)
lovin' dem pizza rolls (0.1818)
wondering whether a centaur foal would suckle from the human breasts or the horse teats underneath (0.1818)
pronouncing "Intelligentsia" with a hard G (0.1818)
sometimes squishing your own boobs just for the heck of it (0.1818)
not really liking MMORPGs (0.1818)
trying to convince someone you are their Tyler Durden (0.1818)
drawing boobs (0.1818)
'buy one get one free' offers (0.1818)
dancing naked (0.1818)
buying food for homeless people (0.1825)
telling your parents you're an atheist (0.1833)
not living in Corvallis, Oregon (0.1835)
yelling "in bed" at the end of fortune cookie fortunes (0.1837)
fry (0.1842)
drawing penises on the worksheet (0.1842)
being an alligator (0.1852)
having a huge weiner (0.1852)
having a huge internet crush on Kate Beaton (0.1852)
going to college (0.1852)
not knowing every ABBA song by heart, yet (0.1860)
chocolate spread (0.1875)
not joining the military (0.1875)
foreplay (0.1875)
living in the city (0.1875)
wanting to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden, in the shade (0.1875)
iTunes somehow playing the same song around the same time every day despite being on shuffle (0.1875)
being real and fantastic (0.1875)
using the word "retarded" as a replacement for "stupid" (0.1875)
wearing white after Labor Day (0.1875)
eating a butterfinger (0.1875)
watching Captain Planet (0.1875)
feeling that Pepe is the cutes BYOB corner pet (0.1875)
not knowing more about Anonymous (0.1875)
the metric system (0.1878)
giving that dorky, but really sweet guy a chance (0.1885)
dowloading that song (0.1887)
eating a noun (0.1905)
being the cat's meow (0.1905)
waiting most of the morning for the time to roll around when you can go to lunch at the most awesome hot dog place ever (0.1905)
being a meatatarian (0.1905)
not actually being bitter or a nihilist (0.1905)
shooting Scott Temple (0.1905)
choosing cake instead of death (0.1905)
taking boat (0.1905)
hooking up words and phrases and clauses (0.1905)
that the sea is deep and full of mystery (0.1905)
this picture (0.1923)
bondage (0.1923)
being afraid of Americans (0.1923)
telling your mother you don't want to have children (0.1923)
not watching the movie Pontypool (0.1923)
being in a rad mood (0.1935)
milk (0.1935)
clockwork (0.1935)
holding cats (0.1935)
earning a PhD instead of an MD (0.1935)
chrono trigger (0.1935)
learning new and interesting things about skin and blood (0.1935)
drawing a webcomic (0.1947)
reading pictures for sad children (0.1951)
not seeing Nicolas Cage after seeing Face Off (0.1951)
saving up some money (0.1951)
choosing adventure over security (0.1964)
signing up for Twitter (0.1983)
how awesome broiling is (0.2000)
buying the newer model (0.2000)
British English (0.2000)
busting through the heavens with your drill (0.2000)
jerking off into your roommate's shampoo bottle, not just once but every day for like two weeks (0.2000)
delicious ice cream (0.2000)
masturbating at a Jessica Alba movie (0.2000)
not having played Kingdom Hearts yet (0.2000)
going on a bicycle tour (0.2000)
hooking up with ryan (0.2000)
being the hottest item on the regret index (0.2000)
losing your religion (0.2000)
someday wanting to own land, with fruit growing on that land (0.2000)
a glorious fart (0.2000)
ghosts (0.2000)
that crazy night in Pheonix (0.2000)
revealing your nerdiness (0.2000)
finally taking a chance and talking to him or her (0.2000)
that larder is a pretty neat, word, a holdover whose anachronistic meaning specifically meant a COLD storage room, but post refrigeration came to mean simply a pantry, but it could also mean a supply of food, the thing itself (0.2000)
making out with that girl who turned out to still be in high school (0.2000)
insisting on protection (0.2000)
jumping in that lake (0.2022)
buying a Mac (0.2027)
not going to dartmouth (0.2034)
making love to your hand (0.2035)
extra sprinkles (0.2037)
Fictional Jimbo Wales (0.2041)
being bigger on the inside (0.2045)
donating to public radio (0.2045)
listening to the whole CD (0.2051)
hot snogging (0.2051)
giving a gift as a surprise (0.2055)
finding the key to the secret garden (0.2059)
lullabies (0.2059)
mARRIAGE (0.2059)
liking folk rock (0.2059)
swallowing (0.2069)
the Lord of the Rings (0.2079)
being mean to the neighbor's rude kid (0.2083)
the resurrection of the regret index (0.2083)
changing your cell phone number (0.2083)
spending two hours on the phone with your grandmother (0.2083)
experimenting with new and interesting sandwich fillings (0.2086)
thanksgiving (0.2086)
not going to prom (0.2088)
pancakes (0.2105)
Dinosaur Comics' new layout (0.2105)
eating cows (0.2105)
dinosaur wrestling (0.2105)
turning it up to eleven (0.2105)
magic (0.2105)
xkcd (0.2105)
the Dromiceiomimus' improbable colouring (0.2105)
wearing a tshirt with a dinosaur on it to a dinosaur museum (0.2105)
sleeping for thirteen hours (0.2105)
being Witty (0.2105)
wanting to take a girl under your arm (0.2105)
staying up all night to watch an eighteen year old paint her nails online (0.2115)
watching the Donald Duck cartoon "Die Fuhrer's Face" (0.2121)
buying a motorcycle (0.2121)
donating (0.2121)
playing chess (0.2121)
post it notes (0.2128)
lying on a futon (0.2143)
disagreeing with things (0.2143)
wondering, if the death machine was made of organic technology, could it predict its own death (0.2143)
going to market (0.2143)
making your time (0.2143)
eating pizza (0.2143)
using words that are not really words (0.2143)
being the lazer viking (0.2143)
going to university (0.2143)
being really cool (0.2143)
Monty Python (0.2143)
wondering if we can get back up to forty thousand regrets in a year's time (0.2143)
air guitar (0.2143)
not killing every faggot I've ever seen in my entire life (0.2143)
facial hair (0.2143)
listening to music that no one else has heard of (0.2143)
the invention of custard (0.2143)
that consomme is broth with will (0.2143)
listening to Beethoven (0.2143)
standing the test of time (0.2143)
Jack Kerouac (0.2143)
running with scissors (0.2151)
washing your pet (0.2157)
going to the beach alone (0.2157)
using hugs, not drugs (0.2157)
being American (0.2160)
having eaten dinner (0.2162)
knowing why the caged bird sings (0.2162)
watching the sunrise (0.2174)
telling your brother he was adopted (0.2174)
taking care of knives (0.2174)
ephemera (0.2174)
giggling over a heart's warm cockles (0.2174)
punching that baby, despite it's rude behavior (0.2174)
not eating Pizza Hut pizza (0.2174)
purposely deceiving someone who never listens to what you have to say (0.2182)
the death of Clippy (0.2200)
missing the NBA playoffs to watch the new episode of 'Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern' (0.2203)
almost always using the British spellings for things, even though you are an American and your spell check always tells you it's wrong (0.2206)
shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die (0.2211)
feeding the ducks (0.2222)
playing dress up (0.2222)
looking at pictures of adorable puppies (0.2222)
fighting the Nausican (0.2222)
volunteering (0.2222)
being the bee's knees (0.2222)
being too awesome (0.2222)
explaining to someone what the Regret Index is (0.2222)
getting a tattoo (0.2222)
Loosing you religion or faith (0.2222)
major tom (0.2222)
painting your fingernails lime green (0.2222)
being Anonymous (0.2222)
sending the President into exile (0.2222)
wondering what the significance of the qwantz dot com domain name is (0.2222)
what you did last Friday night (0.2222)
tiger's belly (0.2222)
PIN numbers (0.2222)
good times (0.2222)
crying during the first ten minutes of the new Star Trek movie (0.2241)
stealing the enterprise (0.2241)
singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lungs (0.2245)
ever reading that first comic strip on the Web (0.2245)
xylophones (0.2250)
dancing all crazy (0.2250)
EXISTING (0.2254)
getting over your ex so quickly (0.2258)
spreading your legs (0.2258)
takin it to the streets (0.2273)
staying on the phone all night (0.2273)
cooking bacon (0.2273)
cut and pasting a webcomic (0.2273)
quitting even though the job was OK, but just OK (0.2273)
having a name that is fifty percent vowels (0.2273)
writing slashfiction about webcomic authors (0.2286)
a lifetime dedicated to public displays of air guitar (0.2286)
what happened in vegas (0.2286)
not settling down when all your friends did (0.2286)
wondering if there's a way to extract all of these autofill regrets into a text file for saving and possibly choosing the better ones (0.2286)
switching parties (0.2292)
optical illusions (0.2292)
sticking with your major (0.2292)
the internet (0.2293)
having a cute little white butt (0.2308)
actually finding pigeons more cute than vermin like (0.2308)
that you like pie quite a bit (0.2308)
birth control (0.2308)
reading every single Dinosaur Comic from beginning to end in a single sitting (0.2308)
running away from indie cred, even though you listen to some of the music (0.2308)
leaving a legacy (0.2308)
playing god (0.2308)
having an adolescent crush on Christopher Walken (0.2308)
flipping off everyone you hated from high school (0.2308)
that dreaming is free (0.2308)
not knowing who Richard Dawkins is (0.2308)
just wanting a sign (0.2308)
horseshoe crabs (0.2308)
filling your thesis with references to monkeys (0.2308)
being your mother's child (0.2308)
a French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson wearing a strap on under a fancy ball gown, just to piss off his rich bitch girlfriend and her annoying family (0.2308)
correcting your friends everytime they misspell Dromiceiomimus (0.2308)
going to Spain (0.2308)
being a pantyaire, like a millionaire but with panties instead of money (0.2308)
extra cheese (0.2308)
stories about elves and unicorns (0.2308)
vaguely effeminate dancing frogs (0.2308)
dandelion wine (0.2308)
eating cheese just for the sake of eating cheese (0.2308)
the general awesomeness of blacklights (0.2308)
puttin' on the ritz (0.2308)
deep fat frying a twinkie (0.2308)
having an affair with the flirty executive assistant (0.2308)
preferring women with body hair over women who shave (0.2308)
buying a chocolate bar without checking the label first, only to find it had peanuts in it (0.2320)
spending a whole bunch of time reading random articles on wikipedia (0.2326)
chewing bubblegum (0.2326)
that your delicious cheeseburger was made from a cow whose cause of death was predicted by an infallible machine (0.2326)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (0.2328)
getting a credit card (0.2329)
your haircut (0.2333)
getting out of bed this morning (0.2333)
Grad school (0.2336)
log cabin (0.2340)
spending an entire day listening to the same song on repeat (0.2348)
thinking that dinosaur might be good to eat, depending on the species, but wondering if the size of the animal would effect the texture of the meat or something like that (0.2353)
eating food that are high in potastium (0.2353)
tapping her mana (0.2353)
eating babies (0.2353)
growing a handlebar moustache (0.2353)
retiring early (0.2353)
going to church (0.2353)
comitting massive regret vote fraud (0.2353)
feeling closer to people in this world of regret (0.2353)
paying for something with fifteen dollars in quarters (0.2353)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (0.2353)
dancing with the devil in the pale moon light (0.2353)
writing the letter "x" backwards and upsidedown (0.2353)
deep frying boring healthy food (0.2353)
irony (0.2368)
only that you have but one life to give for your country (0.2373)
getting hooked on Harry Potter or Twilight (0.2375)
making fun of people who instigate fights in YouTube's comments section (0.2381)
studying linguistics (0.2381)
adding this to StumbleUpon (0.2381)
shit son, I don't know (0.2381)
having sexy intestines (0.2381)
reading, that shit is crazy (0.2381)
ice cream (0.2381)
being the latest in nerd technology (0.2381)
doing it for the lulz (0.2386)
missing Efterklang at the Dublin Docklands (0.2400)
inventing a maneuver (0.2400)
following Stephen Fry on Twitter (0.2400)
falling in love (0.2400)
impersonating that person (0.2400)
helvetica (0.2400)
losing your religion, like in that one song (0.2400)
going to an Ivy League school (0.2400)
Paris (0.2400)
broken broccoli (0.2400)
penis (0.2407)
orthodontics (0.2407)
using flesh for digestive energy (0.2411)
still knowing the lyrics to nineties pop songs (0.2414)
chocolate (0.2414)
not being on fire (0.2418)
my high GPA in high school (0.2418)
nothing (0.2421)
going through a Bob Marley phase in college, like EVERYONE else (0.2424)
love (0.2424)
pretending you're a woman to get into nursing school (0.2424)
pictures for sad children (0.2432)
asking her out (0.2435)
the english alphabet (0.2436)
turning up at Ryan's door covered in mustard (0.2449)
Skipping the Fiance's family Easter Dinner to play xbox and go to a concert (0.2456)
giving up eating mammals (0.2460)
rereading all the harry potter books (0.2462)
buying a Wii (0.2471)
dating someone much younger (0.2474)
breaking up with my first love (0.2482)
being born during the hot war (0.2500)
eating a tasty salad (0.2500)
a b a a b a b b b a b a a a a b b a b a b a a b b a a b b b a a b b a b b b a b b a b a a a b b b b b a a b b b a a a b a b a b a b a b b a b a a b b a b b a a a a b a b a b a a b b a b b a b a b b b a a b b a a b b a b b a b b b a a a b a b a b a b b a a (0.2500)
being crazy and or retarded (0.2500)
thinking someone was hot just because they were good at maths (0.2500)
deliberately misunderstanding offensive slang by taking it literally, ie assume when someone says 'faggot' that they refer to a bundle of sticks or twigs (0.2500)
that aloe plants are awesome (0.2500)
not giving David Gwilliam kisses before he got married (0.2500)
a clandestine meating (0.2500)
line dancing while drunk (0.2500)
making fun of fat swans (0.2500)
this place smelling like brownies all of the sudden (0.2500)
getting a liberal arts education (0.2500)
never dealing drugs (0.2500)
life being so tasty (0.2500)
your sudden urge to make brownies (0.2500)
considering eating two dollars and fifty cents worth of raspberries in one sitting (0.2500)
yogurt's laxative properties (0.2500)
making pies (0.2500)
answering the telephone in a foreign language (0.2500)
that English is your fourth language and you speak it better than your first but not your second (0.2500)
being a huge nerd (0.2500)
escaping out the back (0.2500)
lesbians (0.2500)
wondering what kind of girl would be impressed with somebody smoking, it doesn't seem that difficult to do (0.2500)
the Pythagorean theorem (0.2500)
smoking pot (0.2500)
your very existence (0.2500)
Ryan getting the Regret Index back up (0.2500)
fluffy cats (0.2500)
ever saying "no fat chicks" (0.2500)
girls, ewwwwww (0.2500)
becoming vegetarian or vegan (0.2500)
knowing she was gay and still dating her (0.2500)
sexual congress (0.2500)
tickling her THERE (0.2500)
meeting a possum (0.2500)
having sex with your boss' underage daughter (0.2500)
being necessarily clever (0.2500)
correcting people on their improper use of the subjunctive (0.2500)
going the extra mile (0.2500)
trolling the UK government petition site with stupid petitions you know would be rejected (0.2500)
that you never had a chance to tell Farty McCrablice that YOU LOVE HIM (0.2500)
all of the weird things you are a fan of (0.2500)
being The One (0.2500)
eating a minimalist (0.2500)
girls with full lips and wide hips (0.2500)
underboob (0.2500)
speaking in spoonerisms (0.2500)
ira glass vs philip glass in "glass warfare" (0.2500)
the first time you got drunk (0.2500)
wondering what goes through their little kitty brains (0.2500)
having low pop culture IQ (0.2500)
not having balls (0.2500)
being scared of Kefka (0.2500)
falling in love with the majesty of colors (0.2500)
licking out a feminist (0.2500)
books (0.2500)
getting divorced (0.2500)
hugging a koala (0.2500)
using my mom's deodorant (0.2500)
that Japanese people LOVE coelacanths (0.2500)
losing yourself and dreaming of world that lie between her fingers (0.2500)
wearing hipster glasses (0.2527)
socializing instead of playing video games (0.2527)
tweed jackets with leather elbow patches (0.2535)
eating mexican food (0.2540)
dyeing your hair (0.2545)
trying something new (0.2547)
not googling The Underfold (0.2554)
being (0.2558)
chromatic scales (0.2558)
not trying alcohol sooner (0.2564)
not listening to Billy Zane (0.2564)
leaving the farm (0.2564)
wishing you could give yourself a blowie (0.2564)
tang (0.2564)
sexy times with a friend (0.2570)
anonymity (0.2571)
not knowing what the big deal with Twitter is (0.2571)
The Princess Bride (0.2581)
quoting that xkcd comic (0.2581)
referring to water as hydrogen hydroxide, as a means to both achieve maximal accuracy from the perspective of how the atoms are actually connected, and freaking people out (0.2581)
going back for seconds on dessert (0.2582)
eating lunch yesterday (0.2593)
being a Shakespeare nerd (0.2593)
painting your fingernails black (0.2593)
white text on a dark background (0.2593)
tapirs (0.2609)
not sleeping with that tranvestite (0.2609)
eating all the royalty (0.2609)
throwing your underwear onto the stage (0.2609)
bursting out into evil laughter in a crowded or public place (0.2609)
ATM machines (0.2609)
eating that piece of chocolate (0.2609)
making love above the pub (0.2609)
eating out a feminist (0.2609)
having known love (0.2619)
learning lisp (0.2619)
starting that fire (0.2619)
polygamy (0.2632)
giving your best when you know it won't be enough (0.2632)
cooking hamburgers on my engine block (0.2632)
going commando (0.2632)
wanting gummi bears and or banana chips right now (0.2632)
being there for her when she needed you (0.2632)
sexuality (0.2632)
eating that cookie out of the trash (0.2632)
raspberries, om nom nom (0.2632)
being vaguely european (0.2632)
wondering what kind of feelings different animals feel (0.2632)
writing a novel (0.2632)
being winsome (0.2632)
taking comfort in the regret index in any way whatsoever (0.2632)
eating tofu (0.2634)
that shorts are comfy and easy to wear (0.2647)
insisting on precision (0.2656)
responding with Sassy Molassy (0.2658)
alligators in the sewer (0.2667)
crowdsurfing (0.2667)
cleaning out your bowels through the act of pooping (0.2667)
spooning Jewel's boobs (0.2667)
Dresden Codak (0.2667)
that all you know about Final Fantasy, you learned from a friend who really liked it when you were teenagers (0.2667)
not having tiny brown birds live behind your air conditioner (0.2667)
ordering from Amazon marketplace (0.2667)
letting her sit in the front seat (0.2667)
unpacking my adjectives (0.2667)
buying one of each in EVERY COLOUR (0.2667)
listening to music at a much higher or lower volume than what the artist intended (0.2667)
Peeing in someone's drink (0.2667)
mocha (0.2667)
slowly replacing every part of your body with machinery (0.2667)
taking the last brownie (0.2667)
coconut bras (0.2667)
popping the zits on your ass (0.2667)
eating food that fell on the ground (0.2667)
pokemon (0.2673)
doing a favour that I knew would not be repayed (0.2674)
that now that the Regret Index is back, you can go back to ignoring your Facebook, Twitter, Livejournal, Tegaki, and Deviantart (0.2692)
airing out your nughty bits (0.2692)
listining to something when you know it'll make you cry (0.2692)
eating a vegan (0.2692)
Wagner (0.2692)
going to graduate school (0.2697)
your First Time (0.2698)
losing your virginity when you did (0.2703)
switching majors (0.2703)
a tiny woman (0.2703)
eating pistachio nuts (0.2708)
everything (0.2708)
putting these dumb questions on here (0.2716)
eating bacon made from pigs that had swine flu (0.2727)
hide and seek (0.2727)
banjo dueling (0.2727)
opening a nice, refreshing Tab (0.2727)
floating in a most peculiar way (0.2727)
dating (0.2727)
OGC Man (0.2727)
making friends with a cat named Badger (0.2727)
loving Canada (0.2727)
hasbro (0.2727)
not memorising every Star Trek episode (0.2727)
Taking an art degree (0.2727)
not eating my shorts (0.2727)
wondering where all these regretters came from (0.2727)
drinking from the tap (0.2727)
being childfree (0.2727)
joining community theater (0.2727)
waking up late in the afternoon (0.2727)
brutal legend (0.2727)
boneless skinless chicken breasts (0.2727)
gyrating your leatherwrapped genitals in the faces of those Japanese schoolchildren (0.2727)
tagging the Wikipedia article on irony as "contradicts itself" (0.2727)
taking up the ukulele (0.2727)
being the king of all cosmos (0.2727)
Werther's Originals (0.2727)
making references to poetry (0.2727)
going out to the woods today (0.2727)
going wee wee wee all the way home (0.2727)
a giant cup of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmellows and cream (0.2727)
ripping off penis jokes (0.2727)
loving (0.2727)
M C Escher (0.2727)
selling your nintendo wii (0.2727)
eating skinless breasts (0.2727)
eating something you found on the ground or floor (0.2727)
agreeing to casual sex with that hot friend who looks like that one movie star (0.2727)
spooning (0.2727)
changing your name (0.2727)
pushing it well (0.2727)
the simpsons (0.2727)
going to the fancy dress party as Batman, knowing full well that the theme had no conceivable connection to Batman (0.2727)
having Clue in your list of Top Ten Favorite Movies of All Time (0.2727)
challenging someone to a duel via a glove to the face (0.2727)
theamazingregretindexing (0.2727)
watching Borat (0.2734)
the final countdown (0.2745)
sending emails using your friends emails when he or she leaves themselves logged in and are not looking (0.2745)
having a winsome onesome (0.2750)
living with your mother (0.2750)
the existence of the interrobang! (0.2759)
that your livingroom is full of dancers (0.2759)
eating macademia nuts (0.2759)
the venture brothers (0.2759)
fasting (0.2759)
listening to a favorite song on repeat for hours (0.2759)
flames (0.2759)
for some reason having a bias against nicotine (0.2759)
coming on to the regret index (0.2759)
opening the windows (0.2759)
coming to this site (0.2763)
using this site to admit your regrets (0.2766)
super fat hippos (0.2766)
having that threesome (0.2766)
getting (0.2768)
asking them out (0.2770)
eating that last cookie (0.2778)
asking them to wait for you (0.2778)
liking fat thighs you can not lie (0.2778)
walruses (0.2778)
eating boxed triceratops (0.2778)
the moon (0.2778)
wondering why rachel has returned to commenting without using her name (0.2778)
being a socialist (0.2778)
wearing that outfit at the same time she did (0.2778)
being Ryan (0.2778)
your wares (0.2778)
memorizing Monty Python and the Holy Grail (0.2791)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then talking like Ryan for the next month (0.2791)
not knowing any ABBA songs by Heart (0.2791)
that you were only referring to the subjects of ABBA's music primarily seeming to come from a feminine point of view, but yeah, you don't mind referring to longhaired blonde Swedish dudes as "chicks" (0.2800)
going back in time to punch nazis in da face (0.2800)
taking the boat (0.2800)
being well envoweled (0.2800)
not owning a single pair of tube socks (0.2800)
being well endowed (0.2800)
liking songs that seem innocent on first listening, but end up being about serial killers or something like that (0.2800)
coming out (0.2800)
not having an abortion (0.2800)
that someone keeps looking at my submitted regrets and combining them to form hilarious new ones (0.2800)
spending the entire night going through the archives of that webcomic (0.2804)
doing acid (0.2813)
zombies ate my neighbors (0.2813)
telling him you had feelings for him even though you really didn't know whether he'd reciprocate (0.2813)
masturbating (0.2813)
wanting to discover life with someone (0.2813)
boats (0.2813)
puppy dawgs (0.2813)
your gay experience (0.2817)
missing the Butthole Surfers concert (0.2821)
selling myself to science (0.2821)
the successful launch of Sputnik I (0.2826)
eating too much at Thanksgiving (0.2836)
cooking yourself a lavish meal and not sharing it with anyone (0.2847)
loving songs that have really depressing lyrics to go along with a happy beat (0.2857)
that your whole family is made of meat (0.2857)
taking the Amtrak (0.2857)
the death of a disco dancer (0.2857)
your fingertips tasting like garlic (0.2857)
your double agency (0.2857)
lying about how spicy it was (0.2857)
every sexual experience you've ever had (0.2857)
the ventures (0.2857)
pooping on a dog (0.2857)
tieing your best friend up (0.2857)
being honest (0.2857)
being born after Freddy Mercury died (0.2857)
not having a penis (0.2857)
globalisation (0.2857)
using drugs (0.2857)
only listening to good music (0.2857)
having your memories backed up on a thumb drive (0.2857)
reproducing via meiosis (0.2857)
having a detachable penis (0.2857)
throwing meat at vegans (0.2857)
living in a country that doesn't have bagged milk (0.2857)
vowels (0.2857)
not telling your parents (0.2857)
never doing bad things (0.2857)
winter (0.2857)
following a dream even though it didn't work out (0.2857)
screaming I LOVE YOU from the top of your lungs (0.2857)
wanting to ride your bicycle, wanting to ride it when you like (0.2857)
taking an expectorant (0.2857)
eating snakes (0.2857)
kissing him (0.2864)
deciding you are too cool to go to the prom (0.2867)
getting mushrooms on your pizza (0.2872)
telling the truth, even though it hurt him (0.2875)
secretly wanting internet fame (0.2877)
intentionally spreading Swine Flu (0.2879)
rubbing my face in a tiger's belly (0.2889)
thinking that the dude in the header of this website is kinda cute (0.2895)
playing Spyro (0.2895)
private school (0.2895)
learning so many digits of pi (0.2895)
going POOP (0.2895)
watching House (0.2897)
that Weezing is a member of both the Team Rocket Poison Type binary with Arbok, and the Cinnabar Mansion Pollution binary with Muk (0.2917)
The Ten Second Rule (0.2917)
not getting circumcised (0.2917)
not sleeping with him (0.2917)
cathedrals (0.2917)
gazing (0.2917)
Philip Fry's eleventh year of living in the future (0.2917)
loving chocolate so damn much (0.2917)
flirting with somebody other than your significant other (0.2924)
tackling her (0.2927)
picking Charmander (0.2927)
sleeping with your best friend (0.2931)
taking the red pill (0.2933)
taking it all off (0.2941)
not giving change to what you thought was a homeless guy but was just some dude in need of a shower (0.2941)
driving all day in order to pick up your brother, who is coming home for the summer (0.2941)
rioting with the frenzied mob (0.2941)
your internet name lasting this long (0.2941)
using only one pokemon (0.2941)
coming from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow (0.2941)
adding a new regret (0.2941)
using ghee as an intimate lubricant (0.2941)
accidentally setting my balls on fire with a barbecue lighter (0.2941)
only wanting to see Wolverine because of the hot, hairy Liev Schreiber (0.2941)
being a child once (0.2941)
not voting for the President (0.2941)
the flowers that bloom in the spring (0.2941)
wondering how one gets a job as a taxidermist and bone cleaner (0.2941)
going to a tiny college (0.2941)
giving that bum some money (0.2947)
waking up this morning (0.2954)
laughing because you suddenly remembered something hilarious, then realizing strangers are looking at you (0.2960)
hanging out with strangers on public transit (0.2960)
forgetting sarah marshall (0.2963)
pressing that big button (0.2963)
chewing on things (0.2963)
wondering if anyone has the old regret list (0.2963)
living drug free (0.2963)
geometry (0.2963)
cutting off your long hair (0.2963)
homographic homophonic autantonyms (0.2973)
not thinking xkcd should get as much grief as it does (0.3000)
looking through all the old regrets you made, using the cache (0.3000)
your twisted desires (0.3000)
believing in god (0.3000)
Friends (0.3000)
living on the edge (0.3000)
eating a child once (0.3000)
throwing your hands up in the air, waving them around like you just don't care (0.3000)
Batman (0.3000)
stuffing that lawyer in the fridge (0.3000)
the bird being a word (0.3000)
that there is no such thing as an original sin (0.3000)
can mine for fish (0.3000)
that everybody's footloose (0.3000)
sex with your best friend (0.3000)
stealing Tucksworth's hamburger (0.3000)
cleaning up after yourself (0.3000)
white type on a black background (0.3010)
kissing that boy in Ithaca (0.3019)
leaving (0.3021)
believing in karma (0.3023)

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]