selling myself to science

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 101 lifetimes of regret
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the less said about Billy and the Cloneasaurus the better
Dr Hammond was very upset about Permian Playground
we need clear IP on the dinosaur, Dr Hammond says he can't have any copycats this time
there's a definite qualitative difference to the viewing experience, but the in universe explanation is pretty much where you'd expect it to have gone years ago
that in fairness the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were all hybrids made with frog DNA anyway, so it's not a huge step away from that
High school prostitution ring uncovered in Florida
we need clear IP on the dinosaur, the toy companies say they can't have any copycats this time
that the bullshit Force philosophy in Star Wars is pretty close to what you hear people talk about when they're baked, so maybe there is something to this
Sony Pictures Entertainment experienced a system disruption
the death of Bob Dylan
I screamed out 'You guys sound great!' That caused Dylan to burst
I screamed out 'Waffletastic!' That caused Dylan to burst out laughing
I screamed out 'You guys sound great!' That caused Dylan to burst out laughing
maybe I am a little angry
utterly contemptible people
using a stencil made of poppies to form the ashes of you disabled son's body into the letters NHS, as though you ever cared about anything but enriching yourself
Green Leader, standing by
guessing that the Celebrity Regretter was Neil Tennant, based on the regret "being sorry for everything you've ever done, everybody, everything you'll ever do, everybody, every place you've ever been, everybody, every place you're going to, everybody, it'
the amazing great Regret Syntax shift
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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