giving that dorky, but really sweet guy a chance
REGRET INDEX:
0.19

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 375 lifetimes of regret
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having not yet read anything by Ambrose Bierce?
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recent regrets

scavenger hunt, I only just met 'er!
scavenger hunts
I can't believe you made me watch two minutes of that dreck
you're fun and all, but, I mean, pretty soon we won't even be in the same orbit, you know
For years, we weren't winning at widows
learning about New York's forthcoming adoption of London style wireless payment on its mass transit systems and being disappointed to find that it will not be called Oyster Rockefeller
Jude Law is one of our most talented actors
almost being interested in what perennial hanger on Kevin Smith makes of the Weinstein allegations, but imagining it's just more stoner crap that somehow manages to mention Smith's store, or back catalog, or just talk up what a great man he thinks himself
Matt Damon Says 'MATT DAMON'
Matt Damon Says He Knew Harvey Weinstein Was Not a Predator Because Weinstein 'Can Talk And Never Goes Invisible"
Matt Damon Says He Knew Harvey Weinstein Was a 'Womanizer,' Not a Predator
Reinhold Niebuhr, I hardly know 'er!
Reinhold Niebuhr
gorillas ain't got no reason to live
treacle but the pronunciation is changed so that you sound like a Randy Newman song when you say treacle
the music video for Fleetwood Mac's 'Everywhere' but the redcoats shoot Harambe and every instance of the word "everywhere" is replaced by "Harambe"
the impression of someone who looks right on the outside, but seems different on the inside
toning a mouse with Emma Stone
Grilled cheese makes me feel beautiful
sending a serving or former president to boot camp
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recent comments

(1) Matt Damon Says He Knew Harvey Weinstein Was a 'Womanizer,' Not a Predator
(12) payin' anything to roll the dice
(1) Bert Harvest just kind of crept in there
(1) Fifty Plates of Jaffles
(1) Candide Thovex
(1) secretly marrying someone who wakes up every night from nightmares
(1) betting your right nut on a pair of jacks
(1) being in the unfortunate habit of falling for a pretty smile
(5) that being bound, gagged, hooded and beaten in a freezing cold barn in the middle of nowhere, hosed down, sworn at, beaten, ridiculed, beaten again, beaten some more and then electrocuted gratuitously makes you uncomfortable
(1) the Island of the Virgin Presidents
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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