not seeing Nicolas Cage after seeing Face Off

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 131 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

gargling mouthwash to get the taste of Dick out of your mouth
biting down on Dick when he got too rough
instinctively licking Dick
getting drilled twice by Dick in one day
going crappie fishing with Dick
spending time with Myke Hawke in your man cave
spending time with Dick in your man cave
the deformation of character swan
his name really is Dick
wondering if your dentist is really called Dick or if you were just throwing me a bone
deformation of character
feeling numb, then sore for a couple of days after Dick has been working your jaw
gagging uncontrollably whenever Dick is in your mouth
wanting Dick to clean your teeth
asking someone vaguely familiar with Pokemon to draw Pikachu from memory, then making a Pokemon based on it
nope, it's Dick
wondering if your dentist's name is Gary
your dentist writing the facebook post "mexican shrimp cocktastic" with no photo or context
eating the shrimp cocktail in Mexico
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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