from stretching your ears

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 134 lifetimes of regret
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that you actually LOVE the smell of kangaroo pouches?
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recent regrets

I'm not your guy, doll
New PROOF in CENTURIES Old 'Tiny Ox Bib, Eh' FROZEN Case
New Theory in Decades Old 'Tiny Ox Bib, Eh' Cold Case
He later went on to stage a successful production of Guys and Dolls and opened an experimental theatre
New Theory in Decades Old 'Boy in the Box' Cold Case
A BBC reporter was left in shock after a Brexit supporter said he wanted "all memes" to leave the Regret Index but insisted he wasn't talking about "one legged Pakis"
A BBC reporter was left in shock after a Brexit supporter said he wanted "all immigrants" to leave the UK but insisted he wasn't talking about "Pakis"
you should legally change your middle name to something really British like Crumpet or Boris or Benny Hill or something
a shaved orangutan with Owen Wilson's hair
there's a difference between being unemployable and being beaten to death because some idiot thinks you're foreign and it's all legitimised now
let's be honest with ourselves, it's not like anyone would hire you anyway
realising late last night that having a Polish middle name is probably at best hurting your employment chances now and at worst likely to attract violence
just absolutely dreading lookng at the halo hangin' from the corner of my girlfriend's four post bed every morning now
also this
just absolutely dreading looking at the regret index every morning now
just absolutely dreading looking at the news every morning now
N'Por, Chacellor of the Klingon High Council
your body is Canada's wonderland, eh
Canada's Wonderland
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recent comments

(2) you should legally change your middle name to something really British like Crumpet or Boris or Benny Hill or something
(1) for me it's always going to be NPor, closely followed by RSte and EJac
(4) it's also possible that I might just change my mind one day for no real reason
(3) holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room
(4) that everyone keeps invoking a divorce analogy for Brexit, and you wish they would use something more appropriate, like, say, two dogs gradually decoupling after the knotting subsides
(1) going to that Sausage Festival
(2) Rick Moranis
(1) Five Hospitalized After Tony Robbins Urges Them to Walk Over Hot Coals
(2) Starsuckers
(2) wondering why it is that whenever an American newspaper seeks celebrity comments on an issue related to the UK they always cite JK Rowling first, and wondering if the Biritsh public likewise holds Ms Rowling's opinions in such esteem
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

turtles (4882)
being a minimalist (4567)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (4418)
not having met ryan north (4257)
Kento (4240)
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