not being good at self promotion
REGRET INDEX:
0.88

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 17 lifetimes of regret
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drinking orange juice out of a chimp anus?
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leaving the gym because Kelly LeBrock kept bellowing shit at you
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Da Darlin' Buds of May, da bears
it has Catherine Zeta Jones in it look you now
still not having watched Chicago, da bears, even though you've been meaning to for a few years now, da bears
Has Donald Trump swallowed the old Mike Huckabee whole
you're just repressed, cheerio
this site is kind of weird
once you've tasted the rich, earthy goodness of this month's Brown Star Gourmet Anus, you won't want to put anything else in your mouth ever again
drawing a picture of Warren Ellis and Warren Ellis braiding their beards and penises together
joining the Anus of the Month Club
liking your anuses like you like your coffee, mailed to you a kilo at a time
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
listening to Chinese Japanese English hip hop (1.0000)
not being able to use a star to abbreviate Homestar Runner with the Regret Index syntax (1.0000)
Scientology (1.0000)
butte snows (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
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meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
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the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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