having few to no wrinkles under your eyes, but from last night to today, developing some sort of horrible blue vein that snakes under one of them

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 23 lifetimes of regret
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violent Anabaptists
Lowlife Rut
I Clavdivs
dreaming about That Girl
falling asleep again
always wondering why Moe bothered to call out the names Bart made up when he called, since there were rarely more than three or four people in Moe's Tavern
drawing a picture of Bart calling Moe's Tavern and asking for "Mr Fulltower, first initial I," then Moe goes to the men's room and asks for "I Fulltower" only to see Kento being Eiffel Towered by Hugh Jass and Guy Incognito
I Fulltower
Hugh Jass
pulling off John of Leiden in the bathroom at church
pulling off John of Leiden
pulling a John of Leiden
sharing John of Leiden's wand with Elisabeth Wandscherer
Jan Beukelszoon
Hayden Christensen calling you a sandbag, poodoo
John of Leiden
Hayden Christensen calling you a sandbag
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Ivy League Worm Enema VII
Kento's cover of "Ivy Worm Enema"
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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