the long decline

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 16 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

seeing a werewalrus with a half chinease long haired menu in his hand
Miles Hoopla
it's hard to grasp
wondering what kind of food a boob would buy on ebay
tutelary deity
farting the dead bee
parting the red sea, if you know what I mean
deader than the red dead sea
not having boobs ryan north
Ryanie Northbang
not having banged ryan north
that "The Kodiak Twink" will never be the nineteen forties movie about gold prospectors in the Yukon that it should have been
not having sprinked ryan north
thinking you were going to a Chinese restaurant but it turned out to be a half chinease long haired restaurant
I was abducted by reptile aliens who raped me on the moon every night
thinking you were going to a Chinese restaurant but it turned out to be a chin restaurant
thinking you were going to an Indian restaurant but it turned out to be an Indiana restaurant
An Amish man who sent hundreds of sexually charged text messages to a twelve year old girl was arrested last week when he drove a horse and buggy to an Indiana restaurant where he had arranged a rendezvous with the child, according to police
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recent comments

(10) wondering what the other three countries you've lived in are
(1) poetry, fuck
(1) his face was made for punching, and that's just what you'll do, one of these days he'll get his face punched in by you
(8) trying to think of someone with a more punchable face than Matt Damon
(14) the recurrent concern that one day, someone we talk about, other than Kento because honestly, Kento, amirite, will turn up and there'll be this long terrible discussion about them on the front page
(2) eating roast beef off of your own boobs
(2) Cosby testifies for seven hours in abuse suit, lawyer says
(1) winning Oasis
(15) wondering whether you've entered some kind of "Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Perform Cunnilingus on Her!" contest or something
(2) the man in the yellow hat
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top regrets

shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
insecurity (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
having beautiful breasts (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

being a minimalist (171)
turtles (110)
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in a relationship (35)
not having met ryan north (34)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (30)
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