that swans gotta get BACK in tiiiime

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 2 lifetimes of regret
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bottoming for Joey Lawrence in Whoa! Steak?
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recent regrets

the terrible loveliness of the lone souled orgygoer
feeling like you're sleepwalking
the terrible loneliness of the nice shoed orgygoer
hiring a detective to find out who thinks that you're bonerific
On top of that having almost no solid proof that anyone has ever been interested
and even as you're thinking that thinking "haha nah, that never happened, none of those maybes were real things, they were all in your mind"
being afraid you're keeping yourself from being loved, that in the past you've shot down people who might like you based on the idea that no one could possibly like you
you were never the strong one, but the stuff you show doesn't scratch the surface of the fears you have
that your sister was all "I always had to be the strong one" she she was having a crisis, but you're the stoic, you can't even bring yourself to dump on other people
dirtyfriedchicken dot com, isn't it
not getting your nice shoes cleaned after the orgy
clogging up the hot tub with Jack Nicholson's back hair
weird is a weird word
clogging up the hot tub filters with shoe polish
assessed is a weird word
wondering how ass tax is assesed
wearing your nice shoes in the hot tub
Butts County leaders oppose ass tax elimination
not getting your hot tub cleaned after the orgy
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
not eating out Kento (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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