remembering how shocked you were to learn about oil checking in high school, but that was before you learned that ninety percent of wrestlers are closeted faggots

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 2 lifetimes of regret
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being present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge that turns green when you put it in dish water that has bleach in it migration?
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recent regrets

a real fixer upper
extending out back
some crazy meth addict kicking in the back door of your home and stealing your stuff
living in your car
having to call an exterminator to get rid of all the cockroaches in your home
living with your parents
sharing a duplex with a walrus
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys and burgers and fries
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent
a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
it's not super effective
though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not
While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in
Titus the Dilator
Titus the Fox
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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