being an English major
REGRET INDEX:
0.32

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 165 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

"We Just Wanna Party with You" from the soundtrack to the film in nineteenninetyseven, Men in Black Colon The Album starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones
Kool & the Gang
I've got the presciption for you, another hot beef injection!
marrying a carrot
you might say the extra ingredient is salt
you don't win friends with salad
Benji Colon Off the Leash!
using up your time by feeling fine everyday
the United States Postal Service uses Chevy Chase for postal addresses that lie in the Town of Somerset and the Village of Friendship Heights which lie outside historical Chevy Chase
Chevy Chase excluded individuals based on race and religion
Pokemon Me and Cinderella
suspecting that Chevy Chase could never have been bothered to even come to set, and they probably just recorded his lines in a porno studio somewhere
you have nineteen regrets to get your shit together
understanding that Jaime Pressly is attractive but not finding her attractive
wondering if Jon Voight and Chevy Chase just hung around the hotel bar drinking and popping sedatives whenever they weren't needed on set
sweeping the leg
Jon Voight delivering the line "Retreat, in our moment of triumph" in his Valium Leghorn voice then getting into a Matrix style pose off and karate fight with a dog still being less ridiculous than most of the Karate Kid movies
wondering what kind of sex acts the photos of Jon Voight that directors Sean McNamara and Bob Clark obviously have depict
that Karate Dog had the same director as the first two Baby Geniuses films, and Bratz Colon The Movie had the same director as the bottomlessly shitty string of direct to video sequels
Hollywood hired him as the lovable fat kid but his health was in serious danger
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recent comments

(2) suspecting that Chevy Chase could never have been bothered to even come to set, and they probably just recorded his lines in a porno studio somewhere
(1) He's got the balls the size of watermelons, whereas the other ones got the balls of little grapes
(1) forgetting sarah marshall
(1) going mad and starting cho
(1) going into the future, seeing the apocalypse, going back in time and being turned into an Iron Man on the way, who can't then communicate what you have learned of the possible doom of the planet to the humans of the present day, so yo go mad and start cho
(1) dropping Dubai on London
(7) opening new cider
(1) Donald Trump, Jr Says President Trump Would 'Get The Wall Started' in The First lOO Days
(1) cutting off a groin hourly
(3) cutting off your long hair
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
not being able to make things right (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

being a minimalist (4566)
Kento (4239)
turtles (2202)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (694)
your boobs buying food on ebay (681)
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