that Kento's only chance at female love died with Margaret Thatcher
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that Myke Hawke deserves everything he gets?
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recent regrets

I'm not gay
I am a dude and shit, but it was just like "why the heck is this effeminate girly boy so popular when he is onscreen with a hunk"
wondering what nine oh seven two five is about if you're like a dude and shit
Benedict Cumberbatch Kids
Legolas was a bisexual veal ally
remembering watching Star Trek Colon Into Darkness and wishing that they had Benedict Cumberbatch wear Ricardo Montalbon's old costume, but now, upon seeing shirtless pics of his translucent torso, being glad they hadn't
doing a google image search for "Benedict Cumberneck's batch"
never understanding why all the girls like a man who is more than thirty percent neck, since he's basically just a mobile, grossly overgrown vocal chord
doing a google image search for "Benedict Cumberbatch's neck"
seeing Benedict Cumberbatch's neck, mostly, on the sidebar of the Lord of the Rings wiki and wanting to change every instance of 'black' on the Crebain page to 'colored'
Crebain from Cumland!
pumping dull objects too large to fit into a crow's mouth into Mordor
anything shiny and small enough to fit in a crow's mouth
one does not simply pump into Mordor
that, in hindsight, the key to becoming a male sex symbol in the late nineties and early aughts was looking like a pretty girl
sometimes he just shoves him down in the ashen road to Mordor and pumps away
sometimes twice nightly
nightly
Frodo has Sam
Legolas was sexual labia valley
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
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lolcode (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
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rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
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that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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