peeing on someone

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 25 lifetimes of regret
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just now learning that Myke Hawke has something to do with Sherlock?
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recent regrets

design sex with Roman Polanski
signed sex with Roman Polanski
making the sand pie port
making the ants nest
making the panties drop
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Ruined EVERYTHING IV
typoing "I've" would be fine
sex with YOU would be fine
typoing "I've"
you've got me, this whole house of cards has finally collapsed
who am I kidding
people do silly things when they're aroused
wondering why someone would flee across international boners only to give or receive analingus
being so physically attractive and horny that you have to flee across international boners with only the penises you can carry and seek analingus in another country
being pretty sure where you fall down on dates is entering that trancelike state of anticipation, but that if you could just get around to yelling "PUSSY" and om nom nomming everything would be fine
sex with YOU
signed, Roman Polanski
sex with you
being so physically unattractive and nerdy that you have to flee across international borders with only the possessions you can carry and seek asylum in another country
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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