retiring early

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 151 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

French custom officials seize one hundred and fifteen live scorpions
Fart Ender's Game
chairman of Florida's Libertarian Party resigned his post Thursday to protest the party's US Senate candidate, accusing the rival of supporting eugenics and for being expelled from a cult group for "sadistically dismembering a goat in a ritual sacrifice"
being a fart ender
being a phartender
being a barmacist
Steve Harwelling Jewel's bread
killing her beautiful left one until she was waffletastic
waking up with a headache which is nothing to do with eating too much sugar last night
I Have No Lips and I Must Balm
starting a joke which started the whole world crying
I Have No Mouth and I Must Smash
Ah, Mom's Tush
voting yes when you meant usually
being smashed and mouthy at a Smash Mouth concert
sad hello's and mad high lows
just a little fuckin' dragonfly
like a dragonfly
it's like ten thousand Steve Harwells when all you need is the sharpest tool in the shed
hailing ants named George with George Antheil
[ show all 104993 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) being a barmacist
(2) that a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm, prompting the bartender to ask "cash or charge" regarding the duck's payment method, to which the duck responds "just put it on my bill"
(2) i imgur com oneZuIsixmz jpg
(4) having never seen The Karate Dog, or any of the sequels, or the remake
(2) shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
(1) shaving a twelve inch gungan
(1) fusing Jennifer Lawrence with Jennifer Garner
(2) having to get up in five hours
(1) a cum fart tsunami of Edward Snowden
(1) a landslide of Edward Snowden
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
insecurity (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having beautiful breasts (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in a relationship (35)
that we can post actual imgur links to comments now (20)
I'm the stranger thrilling an A bra (10)
that the comments here came back (10)
seeing a car with HOO on the license plate and feathers on the mirror (9)
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