staying with someone you didn't love

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 28 lifetimes of regret
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when Ke$ha poop$ on your fre$hly wa$hed and waxed car?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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recent regrets

not starting that talking, I could talk all night
feeling like the obvious anagram of "Kento Uncut" is such low hanging fruit that even though it's Kento, you just can't be bothered
Eiffel Towering the sanctity of marriage
hey guyth, remember Lithpknot
I blame the gays for undermining the sanctity of marriage
knowing someone your own age who has not only gotten married but also divorced
hey guys, remember Lispknot
hey guys, remember Slipknot
Slipknot's less popular but sanitised single, "People Equal Frogs"
it's got to be better than flies and stuff
just wanting anurans to be able to enjoy grilled ham and cheese sandwiches
how powerful a euphemism "they weren't happy together" can be
your friend leaving his wife and young children to start a new family with someone younger who, you assume, is less likely to call him out on his conspiracy theory bullshit and random anger at unsolveable problems
it was not the racial thing
overhearing a forty year old tattooed chainsmoking woman refer to her breasts as "the twins" while eating at a restaurant you now realize is beneath you
serving a hawk Myke Hawke monsieur
serving a rabbit a Welsh rarebit
I couldn't tell if that was the joke you were going for, or if you were doing some kind of French people equal frogs thing
serving a frog a croak monsieur
serving a frog a croque monsieur
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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