taking a dump so huge it altered the Earth's gravitational axis
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I don't believe this is possible, regardless of how huge the dump is, unless you've got some sort of wacky portal to another dimension in your rectum.: Otherwise, the Earth's gravitational axis would have been altered before you took the dump, from when it was still inside of you.
Not quite sure: what a gravitational axis is.
Come to think of it: neither am I. I assumed this was synonymous with center of mass, but the word axis has no place there.
Maybe rotational axis?: Or electromagnetic axis, if you had been eating a lot of iron?
Although I am not the author of this regret: I believe it may refer to a shift in the planetary axial precession.

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