being the teacher's pet
REGRET INDEX:
0.33

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 31 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

not just Kento Ikeda, but Kento Youkeda, and Kento Theykeda too
Kento's midichlorian count
sitting in the splash zone of a burlesque review with Milton Berle
billing myrrh with Bill Murray
milling burrs with Milton Berle and Bill Murray
Kento's force multiplier
I've never fucked anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never married anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never thrilled anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never held anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never kissed anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never killed anything with it except a bunch of targets
thousands of prejudices for every occasion
you literally just saw me bury my fucking mum mate are you retarded
I toyed with the name Blue Mason but then remembered at drama school that they had told us that a name with alliteration was always much more memorable
Sarkocy has also claimed that he organised Live Aid, which he alleges was apparently funded by Czechoslovakia, and also purports to have known what Margaret Thatcher had for "breakfast, lunch and dinner", and what clothes she would wear each day
it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the anaconda again
wondering if anyone has ever made a video of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs dancing to Baby Got Back
skinning big butts
Steamed Hams but Big Butt Skinner a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and his butt smells and he likes to kiss his own butt
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recent comments

(1) the way that Chris Lydon always says "that'll do, pig, that'll do" to you after you have sex
(3) adopting a special needs child
(2) not hooking up with the mohel when you had the chance
(2) wanting to make Kento spontaneously combust for his birthday
(1) just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a blow job
(3) that the rachel is back, and she's reading all the regrets
(1) An American says she fell asleep with a headache and woke up with a British accent, cheerio
(1) Toook x Croog
(1) wondering how you feel about pony slash recipe incest
(2) wondering how you feel about father slash son incest
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about it (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12566/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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