having a kid
REGRET INDEX:
0.36

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 203 lifetimes of regret
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he's a regular modern day Bill Murray, if Bill Murray had just completely given up on putting any effort into his work?
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recent regrets

watching a film at home without headphones for the first time
Surgeons saved a worker's hand which had been crushed in an industrial mangle by sewing it inside a "pocket" in his stomach for three weeks
Amazon Colon We All Float Down Here
downloading the Amazon app and letting IT find you
wooing space chickens with Courtney Cox Arquette
I hate every bee I see, from bee pan a to bee pan bee
purchasing chickens with Brian Cox
wooing chickens with Courteney Cox
stealing chickens with Nikki Cox
electroplating pennies with Nikki Cox
holding hams
the song Tiny Happy People by the group Really Extremely Minute
hearing that if you get bitten by a lesbian you can contract gaybies and the only cure is an injection in your butt
How I Meat Your Mother
never really understanding the Starfleet obsession with reviving people from suspended animation
never really getting what Picard's problem with Sarjenka was, like if he didn't want to save her planet or species he could have just abducted her and her immediate family, it would be no worse than reviving the satellite of eighties stereotypes was
shoving apples up the backside of the Messiah to make him walk funny with Christina Applegate
nickel plating cocks with Nikki Cox
Bashshit
goddamn phone keyboards
[ show all 129233 regrets ]

recent comments

(2) driving your snowblower so hard it explodes in Winter
(1) Ten Thousand Top Blondes
(1) not being able to believe it's not butter
(4) fuck marry kill, the Four Tops, Four Non Blondes, Ten Thousand Maniacs
(3) that you love the Regret Index but it makes you so regretful
(1) Cumbag Steve
(1) camgirling
(6) that a pretty brunette girl, late teens, stranded on the beach, wearing a becoming bikini bottom, flip flops and sweatshirt, to whom you lent your cell phone to call for a ride, smiled up winningly at you, batted her long lashes, then thanked you as "Sir"
(2) Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her absence
(4) something ribald
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
forgetting to feed your klinoppe (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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