cooking bacon

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 48 lifetimes of regret
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no one told you life was going to be this way clap clap clap clap?
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recent regrets

putting franks in a queen bee for BB King
wondering if the writers of any of the literally dozens of news stories you've seen about the blue moon understand that there is absolutely nothing remarkable about it
putting franks in the sea for Jackson C Frank
putting franks in a ditch for Frank Sinatra
putting franks in a trough for Frank Sinatra
that's horrible
putting franks in a tray for Frank Sinatra
imagining a sort of fleshy sock with a FOOTBALL in it, thanks, life, da Bears
imagining a sort of fleshy sock with a FOOTBALL in it, thanks, life, cheerio
licking Ben Stein in Liechtenstein
imagining a sort of fleshy sock with a BASKETBALL in it, thanks, life
imagining a sort of fleshy sock with a baseball in it, thanks, life
reading it back it does kind of sound like you got an STD from a stripper
having 'you're the one that I want, fuckhead' stuck in your head now
having 'you're the one that I want, now fuck' stuck in your head
reading it back it does kind of sound like you got robbed by a stripper
strippers being a sore point for you right now, if you know what I mean
having 'you're the one that I want' stuck in your head, now fuck
Kanye Soze, yes we can
trying to remember the name Keyser Soze and repeatedly drawing the name Kanye West instead
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
listening to Chinese Japanese English hip hop (1.0000)
not being able to use a star to abbreviate Homestar Runner with the Regret Index syntax (1.0000)
Scientology (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
Kento (2758/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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