having rich inner monologues that melt away as soon as you begin to write

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 29 lifetimes of regret
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chocolate party spoons?
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recent regrets

Joey and Danny are put in a prison cell where they try to think of a way to maintain their masculinity while being anally raped with a dress on
Jean Luc Coulier
Luc Coulier
don't ironically mock people's behavior when they're doing something they shouldn't be because someone else might see you and think that you're doing what you're mocking those people for doing
drawing a picture of Dave Coulier knocking up Jayne Modean on the set of Full House
The first guy is a big scary raper and the second guy is Danny Tanner, who immediately tells you, "there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop hugging and kissing you"
grown up Kimmie Gibbler comes in and there's a gag about how bad all the Dads wanna fuck her because she grew up to be hella fine
For some reason Danny becomes a stereotypical East Coast Jew in his old age
attempting to smash a watermelon with your erect seven pound silicone lump hammer
attempting to smash a watermelon with your erect penis
Withpenis and I
shopping around with penis
The current repair operation cannot be cancelled
he could start shitting his pants all the time and walking around with shitty pants
the story of how scared she was during her first kiss, which is so corny and boring that it causes the music to come on
DJ says goodbye to all her guests as her party wraps up and manages to clear the air with Kimmie Gibbler before she leaves to go get finger banged in a public park by Jake Bitterman
Finally, there's a boy band for older, hairy gay men
that is, hairy gay men
Bearforce One
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, except in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake where you never know what you're gonna get
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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