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a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 24 lifetimes of regret
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finding out that "kento" has a seven inch penis?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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recent regrets

minimalist, but also complex, emotionally raw, but still able to push the boundaries of what music can be
Jai Courtney, Hogwarts squash champion
Rowntrees Condoms, Hogwarts sex ed teacher
the death of Rowntrees Condoms so Jai Courtney would get famous
Rowntrees Condoms
wondering who had to die so Jai Courtney would get famous
I doubt that Joaquin Phoenix would have become famous if River Phoenix hadn't died, it's the Ted Kennedy Effect
imagining all the awful movies Joaquin Phoenix and River Phoenix could have made together
drawing a picture of Johnny Depp playing Samwise Gamgee like a slide whistle
that there is apparently a parallel universe where Johnny Depp never gave River Phoenix the drugs that killed him and he went on to play Samwise Gamgee
The Guardian suggested in two thousand three "it was likely that Phoenix would have followed Interview with the Vampire by appearing as Susan Sarandon's son in Safe Passage", a role that went to Sean Astin
mishearing Amber Disassemble
both, he's a very violent man
wondering whether Johnny Depp is kicking Jonathan Frakes's nuts or Patrick Stewart's
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Johnny Depp kicks him in the nuts
taking the most violent Number II
disassembling Amber Heard
Number II is a violent dude
reversing the exciton polarteats
exciton polarteats
[ show all 127371 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) Man Eats CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
(2) wondering what they put in the nonvegan olive oil
(2) fuck marry kill LaVar Ball, Lucille Ball, Ed Balls
(3) fuck marry kill, only weirdly cropped, pitchbent Family Guy clips in your YouTube suggestions forever no matter what you do, blowing a guy but he jizzes diamonds & you get to keep the diamonds, spooning Jewel's boobs but also having to spoon Rob Schneider
(9) wondering whether you would rather have your penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time you get an erection
(1) fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Bear Grylls, James Wesley, Rawles
(1) those times when you have a really intense, meaningful dream, and you try to explain it to other people but it comes out looking boring and retarded
(1) seriously wondering whether Bryan Adams knows how to pronounce 'Porsche'
(1) Buttadeus
(6) will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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