getting caught

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 210 lifetimes of regret
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buying multiple copies of the book "To Smash in the Mouth or Not to Smash in the Mouth" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North?
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recent regrets

the death of Jan Chapman
Pokemon Warren Beatty
topping for Martika in Huge Preteen Crush VII
having impure thoughts about a preteen Martika
Warren Beatty standing center stage surrounded by milling crowds visibly dying for lack of direction his world suddenly inverted and his certainties all fled
He was just a small town stencil and she was a big city sharpie, but this summer you won't believe how easily they produce a precise replica in THE PIXAR MOVIE, starring JACK BLACK and DAKOTA JOHNSON with KEVIN JAMES, SAMUEL L JACKSON and MELISSA McCARTHY
completely forgetting Martika existed and that you had a huge preteen crush on her
guessing that at least half of the Bikini Cavegirl Dancers went on to have careers as XFL cheerleaders
falling down like a domino
painstakingly crafting a scene in which CGI and practical puppetry are combined to flawlessly recreate Laura Dern being informed by a keeper that the Triceratops has blue balls and needs a little hand while Sam Neill backs quietly into the bushes to watch
wondering what it's like to have "Bikini Cavegirl Dancer in a Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis music video" as the most prominent role on your CV
I think he'll get by
not being able to watch the official video of Wank the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Steven Spielberg
Jimmy Kallol
Jimmy Fimmen
not being able to watch the official video of Dinosaur Sex in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, agenty fiftyseven
finding out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are separatin' titties
not being able to watch the official video of Walk the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis
Black Pepper's Ghost
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recent comments

(1) taking those Thanksgiving themed erotic photos of Kento wearing nothing but a pilgrim hat and a turkey drumstick covering his genitals
(1) glove in you is medical malpractice, making no fault damages payments is all I wanna do
(3) that the concept of telepathy and telekinesis is so common in science fiction, even science fiction of the "harder" sort, yet there is absolutely no mechanic outside of pseudoscience to explain how they function
(1) drinking alone during the day
(3) the new episodes of Lasagna Cat
(1) that you should always eat balls in pairs
(1) fuck marry kill, Gene Hackman, Gene Hunt, Gene Talia
(5) fuck marry kill, the Rat Pack, the Brat Pack, the Frat Pack
(3) Currently, the phrase 'Brit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British actors and actresses of rising prominence
(1) getting a raw blow from Rob Lowe
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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
that I'm afraid the pretzels are no longer complimentary, Mr Bond (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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