eating all that candied ginger
REGRET INDEX:
1

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 7 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

joining the winx club in the bathroom at church
winx club
wix month old lake babies
wix months
arguing about co payments with my insurance company for wix months like you did by the lake on Naboo
giving me slightly too little novocaine and a sugar free lollipop like you did by the lake on Naboo
extracting my wisdom teeth like you did by the lake on Naboo
Urban Guy
it's basically Family Guy with all the character's skin tone darkened five percent
Dad's Modern Skin Flyer, the hit new comedy on FOX, this Sunday from eight
bellowing DAD'S MODERN SKIN FLYER
bellowing LARD KNIFED SYNDROMES
sucking me like you did by the lake on Naboo
that your phone won't suggest sucked but will suggest Naboo
drilling me like you did by the lake on Naboo
drawing a picture of Anakin Skywalker being Eiffel Towered by Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks and sand by the lake on Naboo
drawing a picture of Anakin Skywalker being Eiffel Towered by the lake on Naboo
thrilling me like you did by the lake on Naboo
holding me like you did by the lake on Naboo
laking a shame baby
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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