making up statistics about fridge deaths, but not bothering to write them down and forgetting them

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 25 lifetimes of regret
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that Tower of London is as of yet undefined?
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recent regrets

getting a tattoo that says "THUG EIFFEL" on your hind flippers
Walrus Edmund Bond
Walter Edmund Bond
getting a tattoo that says "USDA PRIME" on your back side
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Peter Mayhew and a mix of bears, walruses, lions, badgers and other dying animals
Chewbacca's voice is a mix of bears, walruses, lions, badgers and other dying animals
Fat Gay Asian Man Arrested at Mojave Spaceport
Kim Jong Un may have been under the influence when he ordered the execution of two of his uncle's aides
Grebleips responded to Queen Amidala's Vote of No Confidence in Chancellor Valorum by lifting his arms
Scientists Find Distant Earth Sized Planet That Could Support Walrus Based Life
Jewel ordered to register in east Ukraine
Scientists Find Distant Earth Sized Planet That Could Support Water
Jawas ordered to register in east Ukraine
Jews ordered to register in east Ukraine
kind of wanting a "Nudist Shark" t shirt
Angkor Wat
the bathtub hoax
wondering if Chris Lydon has a hot tub or if he just skips a step and uses the shower tray Kento ends up weeping in afterwards
not realizing Kento knew how to drive
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
drinking the water in Mexico (1.0000)
being given the cold shoulder (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2334/0.5070)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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