not trying a little wig wam bam

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 39 lifetimes of regret
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an elderly Illinois man who carried a portable oxygen tank and rode around in a motorized scooter allegedly put sewing needles inside packaged meat sold at a Shop 'n Save grocery store, according to the FBI?
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recent regrets

for your own part, being so depressed and anxious all the time that you can't even tell the difference between manic and just, you know, normal happy
having similar problems, feeling like you could use similar help unless, you know, she is going crazy
your sister being on drugs for her anxiety and depression and you can't tell if they're doing a world of good for her or just fucking her up in a different way
when your sister jokes about being manic depressive and you can't tell if she's just joking and you don't know if you should be like "but really, so you really think this, showul you think about getting help"
not eating twats, COOKIE!
not eating twats
licking Christina Ricci's cornhole a lot
cornholing is such a gross word
liking cornholing Paul Daniels, not a lot, but you like it
liking cornholing Christina Ricci a lot
cornholing a lot like Christina Ricci
not being twats
The Ultimate Vegan Meatball
Darth Plunder, Sith Master
helps in turds
The Ultimate Meatball
cornholing a girl who looked a lot like Willie Mays
I have dreams about the day i meet Christina Ricci and she feeds me fishsticks with her feet, then makes me lick them clean
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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