imagining a future where dolphins create an advanced society, develop fetishes, and start producing blowhole porn

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 11 lifetimes of regret
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my memories have just been sold
actually crying a little now upon listening to Falsie Smog Ho
Hayden Christensen's debut single really is that painful
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you're always crazy like that
actually crying a little now upon listening to Foolish Games
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(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
teabagging Raymond Burr (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
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breasts (1440/0.0135)
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