making friends with the girls I should've had sexy times with

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 342 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

heavily laden with time expired men
getting Kento's hopes up
men toss hoser
Homer's stones
shoe monsters
eating Tide Pools
allowing a baby to be born from his or her mother's womb in the ninth month
eating Tide Pods
drawing a picture of Qui Gon Jinn desperately trying to get his Toydarian ball shaver to accept Republic credits for his ball shaving services
shaving jedi balls but not jedi master balls
having jedi balls but not jedi master balls
wasting your jedi master ball on something shitty like Sandslash
It should be called the love or sweetness of Venus
Kento's unborn bean taco
Kento's tuba bore cannon
Kento's tuna bacon boner
Kento's carbon nanotube
diamond monsters
he took us on as clients only in his mind and he did it because he really, really wanted to fuck our actress friend
Nobody, including our ancestors, in written or oral, have said they saw an ape turning into a man
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recent comments

(1) Pokemon Diamonds and Rust
(2) Vegan Fuchen
(4) wanting to electrocute Kento's testicles and waterboard him until he tells you when his birthday is
(1) a recut of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade which instead draws attention to Henry's abusive upbringing of his son with the exchange "We named the dog Indiana!" "You screwed the dog!" "I screwed you!", in the presence of some baffled and terrified Nazis
(1) wondering if Donald Trump has made all his necessary financial declarations for the presidential race yet or whether he's just trying to drive the discussion towards immigants before predictably bowing out
(1) getting groped by a drunken dancing lady in her fifties whose face looks like a wrinkled leather couch
(1) bottoming for a horse in A Horse and His Boy, Kento
(1) wondering whether go around bragging to other girls about how deep their vaginas are
(2) reading the comments
(2) that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, seven inches is big for an Asian
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
spam fritters (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
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