payin' anything to roll the dice

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 1 lifetimes of regret
permalink to this result


Tim Duncan: 20! CRITICAL HIT!
Gary Gygax: The goblin's tongue slithers across your exposed flesh, causing your body to convulse with pleasure. From the window of the inn your party hears a moan of pleasure, then a cry of horror as your magical companion spits and you observe her prominent
Gary Gygax: Adam's apple. In a flash she draws a dagger from who knows where and in a rasping voice a full octave lower than when she last spoke, says "Pay up, chica. I got a bruised tonsils and that gonna cost extra."
Tim Duncan: I present my holy symbol and declare "Forsooth, by the power of Ra'chelste Vens, Goddess of Dickgirls, I cast thee out!"
Gary Gygax: The goblin smirks as she beckons the shadows closer and you realize for the first time that another figure has orchestrated this encounter from the very beginning. Caught by surprise, you are powerless for the moment as the pimp approaches you.
Gary Gygax: "If you check your rental agreement," the demon El Anorr declares, "you'll see that can only accept holy symbols with a precious metal or gemstone content of at least 20%. If you do not pay promptly, I will sue you in the Shire."
Tim Duncan: "X-Men sucked!" I scream as I try to flee the hot tub.
Gary Gygax: Harvey Weinstein agrees with you as he blocks your path and tosses you back into the water. Escape seems impossible as his two winged monkeys Ben and Matt circle the hot tub, filming everything.
Gary Gygax: Mustering all my power, I call out for my comrades. Whither are Wil Wheaton the Mage, or the cunning rogue Vin Diesel gone?! What of brave Sir Moby?! Is there noone who shall come to my aid?!
Tim Duncan: I seem to have entered a brief fugue state where I referred to myself as Gary Gygax. Sorry.
Tim Duncan: No problem, Tim, I take it as a compliment.

comment on this regret

Your name:

Your comment:

Do you regret
this tastes like crap?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

vote above to find something new to regret; a world of regret awaits you
add a regret; be a cautionary example for others
search for regrets; learn from the lives of others gone awry

add a new regret

How much can you expect to regret ?

recent regrets

The filter also allows you to say some of the older swear words, such as sod and git
the Padawan Massacre
the death of Brian Peppers
Corroo Foshor's dog Goro Foshor has joined Onstogrom
the Falador Massacre
Apple except instead of minimalist interfaces their whole ethos is brutal functionality and every device is covered in dials that control it because they were founded by Steve Knobs
that if they'd only called themselves the Red Hot Chalupas you could also call them Los Rude Hat Chap
Mortal Engines
Corroo Foshor
keep in mind that you'll be bottoming in any case
fuck marry kill, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Brian Peppers, actual red hot chili peppers
disturbin' Dick Durbin with your dick in Durban
bottoming for 'Dick' Durbin in Shithole Destruction VII
joke's on them, they're getting Dave Navarro
New California demands concession of "one Red Hot Chili Pepper to be named now, while reserving the right for one additional to be named on a future date"
New Shithole declares independence from rest of shithole
New California declares "independence" from rest of state
Jefferson Airplane The Levi Commersials
Here's exactly how Dick Durbin destroyed Kirstjen Nielsen's 'shithole' explanation
We will show you the power of the Turk!
[ show all 133552 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) wondering if Donald Trump has made all his necessary financial declarations for the presidential race yet or whether he's just trying to drive the discussion towards immigants before predictably bowing out
(1) getting groped by a drunken dancing lady in her fifties whose face looks like a wrinkled leather couch
(1) bottoming for a horse in A Horse and His Boy, Kento
(1) wondering whether go around bragging to other girls about how deep their vaginas are
(2) reading the comments
(2) that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, seven inches is big for an Asian
(6) Anakin Murders Gumball & Darwin
(1) imagining the first meeting between Hayden Christensen and Hayden Panettiere, where he slowly says "In my country Hayden is a boy's name, eh" and she nods and smiles politely while trying to think of a reason to leave
(3) Spider Van
(2) clicking on "I'm Feeling Lucky" when you weren't feeling lucky
[ show more ]

search regrets

Look for regrets involving

top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
spam fritters (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]