what you did last Friday night

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 100 lifetimes of regret
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donating sperm?
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recent regrets

once you go Go Ikeda's fist, you, dammit, I totally had something for this
you've introduced me to a whole new world of butt games
making Sylvia Browne a hot browne sandwich for her deathday
browning Sylvia Browne's breasts
going Go Ikeda's fist
peppering Brian Peppers' brain
canning Raymond Burr's cans
buttering Raymond Burr's buns
the picture of L Ron Hubbard on Wikipedia's Church of Scientology page looking like he's pushing a mess
having sex with a girl in second grade who looked a lot like Christina Ricci
The first guy is a big scary raper and the second guy is Anthony Kiedis, who immediately tells you, "what I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you"
Charlotte Elizabeth Diana Geldof
he was such a jackass he didn't know how to open his own safe
they get it at this great place in San Francisco called, "Chicken"
DJ says that that she tries to focus less on the fact that their mother is a festering pile of maggot infested flesh and more on the fact that they have three idiotic dads who love them
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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