having a winsome onesome
REGRET INDEX:
0.26

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 81 lifetimes of regret
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orally servicing the president?
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Colon Rape Maple Contents
Planescape Colon Torment
I seem to recall he was here around the time of the Boston Marathon bombing
I think he left around two years ago
honestly not believing that Kento has been here regularly if at all in years
I might as well be
so you're Kento is what you're saying
the vagabond who's rapping at your door
not to you
walruses don't talk
never getting Gary Coleman to say "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, walrus"
crying like a fire in the sun
Brian Dunkleman
Ant and Dec, or possibly Dermot O'Leary
I got a new phone last year
wondering if there's a British Ryan Seacrest
seeking peace in a whiskey bottle with carney's tears
you got a new phone last year
not having heard from Gary since you changed numbers when you got a new phone last year
wondering how Gary is doing
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
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meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
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that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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