your lack of telekinesis
REGRET INDEX:
0.88

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 86 lifetimes of regret
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it not being your fault that your parents were cousins, but here we are?
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recent regrets

being as American as mom and apple pie and kissing my ass
that the correct response to "apple pie" is not "kiss my ass"
thinking of your rectum muscles as a firm handshake
adjusting to a normal sleep pattern broadly in step with your timezone and societal norms, then snapping the fuck back to awake all night for no particular reason
god dammit, Kento
thinking of your anus muscles as a puckering kiss
caramelised apple pie
liking your saline like you like your chans, envious rant
liking your saline like you like your clams, intravenous
liking your saline like you like your chans, intravenous
we're going to wait until his plane touches down, then revoke his citizenship
you are fucking the dog!
goddamnit, we just got rid of him and now he might be coming back
Scottish independence referendum colon Piers Morgan finally honours promise to leave the UK now Scotland has voted 'No'
pensioner Patricia Hewitson contacted BBC Radio Devon to help identify a "weed" in her garden
Did you mean Colon rubnadictacy
being shocked that there is no entry for turret lathe on urbandcitonancy
turret lathing the pooch
rescrewing the pooch
unscrewing the pooch
[ show all 82749 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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