not being there when it happened

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 107 lifetimes of regret
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recent regrets

Bill Batter
Trilly Dilly
Grump Frump
Tom Trow
googling something you half remember and getting a single result, which you wrote several years earlier
cramming your curious cans in the car door
Coca Cola is funny, Kodak is funny, Spanx is funny, cockney is funny, kroner is funny, Polanski is funny, not if you meet him only if you say him, Kento is funny, Chris is funny, crime is funny
Blakely knew that Coca Cola and Kodak were the two most recognized brand names in the world, with both containing a strong "k" sound, words with a k in it are funny
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Spanx for Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Skanks for Nothing
wanting to hire Bill Cosby to be in Skants or Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be in Skants or Nothing
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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