not losing your virginity
REGRET INDEX:
0.47

a regret index of 1 is ultimate regret
this result collects the hard-earned
experience of 116 lifetimes of regret
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because I'm kind of an asshole if you think about it?
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recent regrets

losing a show
Show Ikeda
that you're suddenly very interested in the meat nectar out of a show trope
drinking meat nectar out of a chimp anus
memorising every Star Trek innuendo
it smells worse than the meat nectar
The Curious Cakes of Jaffen
A man puts his finger on a control, and the alarm stops
shut off that damn alarm and I promise I'll never violate you again
pretty much anything
one time, in a basin of cold water
that your recollection of spermarche, or at least of the early years of self discovery, is that you basically jacked off non stop to pretty much anything
or whatever catalog you have in the UK, cheerio
wondering if kids today, who can access high definition interracial gangbang videos with the click of a mouse, will ever experience the thrill of jerking off to the bra section of the Sears catalog
Bubbles' Secret
wondering where one gets chimp underwear catalogs
I used to wank like a chimp to underwear catalogs, and I'm not proud of it
wondering if we have become close enough to be able to comfortably discuss the masturbatory habits of our youth, and, if not, wishing to apologize for crossing that line
the amazing Personal Masturbation Almanac
remembering that summer after tenth grade when you discovered Princess Madeleine, who proceeded to become the target of ninety percent of your self gratification for the next three months or so
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

that the killer what took me is entitilitis (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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