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recent regrets

calling Courtney Cox up on stage to do the hokey pokey with you
this gun's for hire, oh, hands, shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes
Old MacDonald went down to the river, e i e i o
bracing for the arrival of the Children's Folk Song Slash Bruce Springsteen Lyrics Mashup Bandit
eating the same girth as David Spade
being the same girth as David Spade
Hey little girl is your froggy home, did he go a courtin' and leave you all alone
Philadelphia mom, daughter die from injuries sustained in food truck explosion, girls ain't nothing but trouble
James Spader, I hardly knew 'er!
being the same length as David Spade
getting up in this big non treasure havin' bastard
James Spader spaying David Spade using a shovel
being the same height as David Spade
confusing James Spader with David Spade
wishing you had Ferris Bueller's day off
now having the lyrics of "Froggy Went A Courting" stuck in your head because of the "mmm hmm" crossover with "I'm On Fire"
waking up late at night with the sheets soaking wet and the lyrics of "That Lady" running through the middle of your head
waking up with the lyrics of "That Lady" running through your head and no idea why
that an erection lasting more than four hours is a precious gift to be shared with as many people as possible
wondering how frequently nine one one operators get calls from dudes with erections lasting more than four hours
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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