Do you regret
treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry?
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recent regrets

Comic Sans has no place at an agency positioning itself as a technological pioneer
having non consensual sex with a spring onion
spooning Jewel's smog falsies
actually becoming ectothermic on listening to Centerfold
topping for Arid Rod in Getting the Dry Hump VII
my memories have just been sold
actually crying a little now upon listening to Falsie Smog Ho
Hayden Christensen's debut single really is that painful
actually crying a little now upon listening to Floss Amigo, eh
you're always crazy like that
actually crying a little now upon listening to Foolish Games
slamming your cock in the arid rod
turtling Myke Hawke
Myke Hawke is small, I know, but he's not yours, he is my own
it's getting cold and I'm starting to sneeze
medic, we need a medic over here
this is Myke Hawke 'bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
I got my eggs, I got my pancakes too, I got maple syrup, everything but you
this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
my hands are small, I know, but they're not yours, they are my own
[ show all 92522 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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