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bologna is not kosher?
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recent regrets

getting up in this big non treasure havin' bastard
James Spader spaying David Spade using a shovel
being the same height as David Spade
confusing James Spader with David Spade
wishing you had Ferris Bueller's day off
now having the lyrics of "Froggy Went A Courting" stuck in your head because of the "mmm hmm" crossover with "I'm On Fire"
waking up late at night with the sheets soaking wet and the lyrics of "That Lady" running through the middle of your head
waking up with the lyrics of "That Lady" running through your head and no idea why
that an erection lasting more than four hours is a precious gift to be shared with as many people as possible
wondering how frequently nine one one operators get calls from dudes with erections lasting more than four hours
that Kevin James is only an inch taller than David Spade
you'd even settle for Parker Lewis's
wishing you had Ferris Bueller's life
deep throating Cameron Frye
here every day
cleaning Stephen Fry
just waving or drowning
wishing you understood what you do here, in the sense of not knowing if you're actually trying to achieve something by posting here every day
not having fallen down stairs or fainted unexpectedly or been struck by a moving vehicle or anything like that in years and feeling as though you're now missing out
Stephen Fry
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2443/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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