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You're Going Home In A Fucking Ambulance?
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recent regrets

it actually explains nothing, but I was kind of resigned to it being just the two of us
this explains a lot
I didn't write nine oh seven two five
misreading "nine oh seven two five" as "nine oh seven five two"
I'm not gay
I am a dude and shit, but it was just like "why the heck is this effeminate girly boy so popular when he is onscreen with a hunk"
wondering what nine oh seven two five is about if you're like a dude and shit
Benedict Cumberbatch Kids
Legolas was a bisexual veal ally
remembering watching Star Trek Colon Into Darkness and wishing that they had Benedict Cumberbatch wear Ricardo Montalbon's old costume, but now, upon seeing shirtless pics of his translucent torso, being glad they hadn't
doing a google image search for "Benedict Cumberneck's batch"
never understanding why all the girls like a man who is more than thirty percent neck, since he's basically just a mobile, grossly overgrown vocal chord
doing a google image search for "Benedict Cumberbatch's neck"
seeing Benedict Cumberbatch's neck, mostly, on the sidebar of the Lord of the Rings wiki and wanting to change every instance of 'black' on the Crebain page to 'colored'
Crebain from Cumland!
pumping dull objects too large to fit into a crow's mouth into Mordor
anything shiny and small enough to fit in a crow's mouth
one does not simply pump into Mordor
that, in hindsight, the key to becoming a male sex symbol in the late nineties and early aughts was looking like a pretty girl
sometimes he just shoves him down in the ashen road to Mordor and pumps away
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recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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top regrets

feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2335/0.5073)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
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