Do you regret
wondering if the extensive biography of Terry Silver on The Karate Kid Wiki came from the novelization or some other canon source, or if it's basically just fanfiction?
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recent regrets

everybody gets stagefright now and then
I get kind of nervous sometimes
it depends on the size of the crowd
passing Jewel's globes back and forth between a team of all star basketball players for the amusement of a crowd
spooning Jewel's globes
buying that naked lady BIRTHRIGHT, PART I
Orlando RAGE
the Harlem Globe Spooners
the New York Slash New Jersey Hitmen
hott nooking up with le hom when you had the chance, eh
BROILING the Harambe killers
grilling the Harambe killers
killing the Harambe gorillas
Funks go e y y man kill zucchini angst
walking through Marlborough with Mark Wahlberg
all Kento are fuckable, but some Kento are more fuckable than others
Kento that have fatter, gayer faces are considered more fuckable
Kento that have fatter, gayer faces are considered more beautiful
trying to bury those raped naked lady
trying to bury those naked lady tapes
[ show all 134373 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) adopting a special needs child
(2) not hooking up with the mohel when you had the chance
(2) wanting to make Kento spontaneously combust for his birthday
(1) just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a blow job
(3) that the rachel is back, and she's reading all the regrets
(1) An American says she fell asleep with a headache and woke up with a British accent, cheerio
(1) Toook x Croog
(1) wondering how you feel about pony slash recipe incest
(2) wondering how you feel about father slash son incest
(4) using a messy recipe
[ show more ]

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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about it (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12566/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
not having met ryan north (55)
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in a relationship (37)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (32)
that Kento's birthday passed a week ago and you didn't even have a chance to make him a sandwich (32)
still only seeing black, white, and blue (30)
the actress (29)
wondering whether the kids who are, say, three or four years old now will eventually develop their own interests or if they will be cursed to be nothing but proxies for their dumbass manchild fathers' lost youth and be doomed to like Star Wars for eternit (26)
opening new cider (25)
meeting Brian Peppers (21)
that we can post actual imgur links to comments now (20)
wondering what question you want to ask (19)
wondering what it is that you do (19)
moralmachine dot mit dot edu (17)
imagining the images on an amazing Regret Index calendar and then throwing up in your mouth a little bit (17)
She neglects to mention that her grandson's withered, inbred cock lacked the power to successfully impregnate a woman naturally (16)
saying that name, you know the one, three times (15)
wondering whether you've entered some kind of "Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Perform Cunnilingus on Her!" contest or something (15)
Kento (14)
time feels right to explore some incredible new opportunities together (13)
being cancelled with a mild but acceptable cliffhanger, then being brought back through the efforts of your fans and to show your thanks, giving said fans an even more frustrating cliffhanger in a bid for more episodes which obviously won't be made (13)
President Housekeeping, starring Hulk Hogan (13)
firing a gullet pun indiscriminately at seagulls (12)
cutting off your long hair (12)
For political reasons, the classification of "honorary white" was granted to immigrants from Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, countries with which South Africa maintained diplomatic and economic relations, and to their descendants (12)
getting a tattoo of a woman fellating a horse on your hip (12)
that, okay, to be honest your natural reaction to any kind of interaction initiated by the opposite sex is to consider forming a crush on them (12)
payin' anything to roll the dice (12)
not being able to finish anything you've ever started (12)
having a hell of a dream (11)
wondering what happened to YOU to make you hat the french so much (11)
trying to befriend a Regret Index user (11)
that the comments here came back (10)
wondering what the other three countries you've lived in are (10)
North Smurf Country Blues (10)
I'm the stranger thrilling an A bra (10)
really needing to get around to peeing in Kento's face (10)
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to switch hands while masturbating (10)
wondering if it is possible to grab your own head and rip it off (10)
having sex with Oasis (10)
forgetting sarah marshall (10)
what some people jack off to (9)
falling into that nest of gungans (9)
wondering whether you would rather have your penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time you get an erection (9)
thinking of starting dating again (9)
what you do for a living (9)
wondering why you want to bang a Katie all of a sudden, anyway (9)
wondering if you wrote the comment on two two seven oh one (9)
seeing a car with HOO on the license plate and feathers on the mirror (9)
Jeb Bush Would Time Travel and Kill Baby Hitler If Given the Chance (8)
trying to think of someone with a more punchable face than Matt Damon (8)
deleting your MyFace tweet account book (8)
checking this site after many, many years (8)
making a neutral face (8)
wishing that each wikipedia page had a view count on it, because you really want to know how many people have needed information on, say, "Benin at the twenty twelve Summer Paralympics" (8)
not having any self esteem (8)
remembering that scend in Pokemon where Ash kisses that Latias in human form, and thinking that's probably Kento's best bet (8)
drawing a picture of a female human of indeterminate age with an ass like a ten year old boy having her buttocks spray painted teal by Pikachu and Weedle (8)
it's still better than having him sucking on your left one until you have a breastgasm (8)
that you were honestly kind of relieved when it looked like the regret index was broken because it meant you didn't have to think about things like Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's head any more (8)
lining up a zinger about Rebecca Black and celebrity but having to concede that she's doin' OK (8)
not going all the way (8)
wondering if Chris Lydon or the walrus ever fails to climax, and, if so, whether Kento sees it as a personal failure (8)
discovering the depths of your personality and finding out which movie star could play you! (8)
wondering which will come first, reaching one hundred thousand regrets or Kento having sex (7)
wondering who Tabitha on regret two zero six eight was and how she found the index (7)
wondering if using pinto or black beans in chili will make it taste any different than chili with kidney beans (7)
I already have one, I'm not even using it, would you like it (7)
wondering which you would choose given the option of either speed dating everyone on your Celebrity Bang List with the ability to mix and match, or cruising around on a luxury yacht all day with no more than ten of them (7)
#piggate (7)
genuinely not understanding the appeal of Katy Perry (7)
Luke never even asks about his mother (7)
wondering where the line between porn film and birthing video lies (7)
Will Smith's ability to read insipid rapes from a script in a way that almost sounds like he cares (7)
really having no interest in professionally produced porn (7)
have you already started (7)
that you would gobble up Alice Eve if you were not in a relationship (7)
not being Kento (7)
constantly eating from a bag of lollies and being unable to stop (7)
Your comment must be in English or it will be removed (7)
wondering which you would choose, to be a lesbian with a penis or a straight man with a vagina (7)
having a spinning back kick that could fell an oak tree (7)
this guy right here (7)
that a pretty brunette girl, late teens, stranded on the beach, wearing a becoming bikini bottom, flip flops and sweatshirt, to whom you lent your cell phone to call for a ride, smiled up winningly at you, batted her long lashes, then thanked you as "Sir" (6)
wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you (6)
do you have a plan or do you just like to watch me like a zoo animal (6)
shitting in her mouth (6)
wondering what a half centaur would look like (6)
getting a YouTube ad for Tinder which unmistakeably uses a slowed down Mario theme (6)
Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Perform Urolagnia on Her! (6)
wondering if there is a glory hole equivalent for butt stuff where you just jam your cheeks up against a dinner plate sized hole and wait for people to come and do stuff to you (6)
fuck marry kill, a shoe, a pony, a carrot (6)
the death of Richard Bonehill (6)
throwing a coin which inadvertently smashed the rear windshield of my teacher's car, btw kinetic energy is a bitch, and got me suspended (6)
Toblerone is facing a mountain of criticism for changing the shape of its famous triangular candy bars in British stores, a move it blames on rising costs (6)
Anakin Murders Gumball & Darwin (6)
wanting to make Kento love SPERM for his birthday (6)
not asking her out again, when she would have said yes the second time (6)
not having anything against Cameron Diaz but seriously wondering how she became the highest grossing actress in US box office history (6)
not helping an older woman down the steps (6)
I have very unrealistic expectations (6)
that you actually got one of those smoking gun quizzes right (6)
Rob Schneider doesn't count (6)
we should watch Daredevil for the next liveregret (6)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (6)
fuck marry kill, a Vulcan, a Klingon, a Romulan (6)
using the screen name "black guy plus white girl equals hot" (6)
Theresa May bragged about Britain being world's fifth largest economy, After her speech, it dropped to sixth (6)
drawing a picture of Luke, Wedge, Biggs, and Porkins making a trench run on Kento (6)
will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe (6)
playing Entry of the Gladiators over the Republican National Convention coverage (6)
finally sewing up that hole in your pocket, if you know what I mean (5)
suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop spitting in her asshole (5)
all the people not in a relationship banging Jewel's boobs (5)
As part of the Wiggles, Fatt became one of the "most popular Asian performers in the world" (5)
I was alive in nineteen eighty three (5)
wondering whether you would rather have sex with Donald Trump whose brain has been replaced with that of a duck, or a hideous chimeric fusion of David Cameron and Cameron Diaz (5)
that twenty sixteen saw nearly a forty percent drop in regret productivity compared to the record breaking performance we put up in twenty fifteen (5)
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters (5)
that being bound, gagged, hooded and beaten in a freezing cold barn in the middle of nowhere, hosed down, sworn at, beaten, ridiculed, beaten again, beaten some more and then electrocuted gratuitously makes you uncomfortable (5)
not really understanding the logic of an organization that is going out of its way to make every nation on the planet with nuclear weapons pissed off at them (5)
fuck marry kill, the Rat Pack, the Brat Pack, the Frat Pack (5)
wondering if there even is a constitutional method for determining the presidency if the president elect and vice president refuse to be sworn in at all (5)
being resigned to urine, Eminem, death (5)
Lol no one ever (5)
trying to watch Open Windows but thinking you might turn it off because you've never seen a Sasha Grey film before and you're not really in the mood for double anal (5)
SCP Six Nine Six Nine Colon Nicki Minaj's dildo microphone (5)
fmk, JLH, SMG, JTT (5)
I get called by a guy that can't buy a pair of pants, I get called names (5)
eating moldy chocolate (5)
happy new year (5)
going into puberty (5)
having had the theme from Junior Kick Start stuck in your head for a couple of years now (5)
El Coca and teen rape are stronger than any dispute (5)
getting your first cavity in your thirties (5)
being glad that Kento liked your regret about electroplating pennies (5)
Collingwood Art Dolls (5)
the random regret generator is giving you blank regrets to vote on (5)
genuinely not understanding the appeal of Russell Brand (5)
guessing that you say The Karate Kid II once like maybe the year it came out (5)
What's In A Manacled Elf (5)
I would bust that tight pASTERISKASTERISKASTERISKy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week (5)
The entire Bee Movie except every time someone says bee it cuts to that person or bee peeing in Kento's face (5)
wondering how important it is to your crossover fanfic (5)
reading an article reviewing books that discuss the contributions women made to science, seeing the sentence "It takes just over eight seconds for sunlight to reach the Earth" in the first paragraph and thinking, naw, I'm not gonna read this (5)
that even old New York was once New Amsterdam (5)
Debbie Snakez Her Bathtub Drain (5)
that movies would probably be ten times shorter if the characters didn't do something stupid once in a while (5)
possible snuff dvds (5)
wondering if gay Klingons find either bottoming or topping more honorable than the other (5)
we all need somebody to ream on (5)
fuck marry kill, Prince's left half stitched to David Bowie's right half, a chimera with Alan Thicke's limbs and head attached to Alan Rickman's body, Kenny Baker with Kimbo Slice's genitals (5)
any smooth bottom intersted into top muscle pm me (5)
being told you are infrequently vile by the BBC (5)
face ass take on, The British Bulldog, Darth Vader, Kento (5)
British government pooh poohs winning 'Boaty McBoatface' name for ship (5)
wandering around Mevagissey eating ice cream (5)
Number One Will SHOCK You! (5)
fuck marry kill, the father, the son, the holy ghost (5)
I'm going to call you Simon from now on (5)
discovering you were blocked by someone you respect on social media, but having no idea when or why this happened (5)
Peppa Meets Oasis (5)
that you'd like to connect in an incredibly egotistical way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence because nobody buys your narcissistic bullshit (5)
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen (5)
Colon cells have it rough colon They die off after about four days (5)
I wanna take my time stroking you, baby, if you don't mind (5)
guessing that if the first page of google results for your name contains more than one video of you getting double penetrated, saying that you went through some "rough times" is probably insufficient (4)
naming your daughter Rooney (4)
using a messy recipe (4)
having never seen The Karate Dog, or any of the sequels, or the remake (4)
how much of a pain in the ass it is to have to rent nineteen buses (4)
girl on girl sex during POST PARTUM PSYCHOSIS (4)
getting involved with me (4)
we're buddies (4)
Big Fucking Gonads (4)
I'm really sorry about that, we really should have dealt with this by now (4)
that i deleted all the spam comments, hah hah hah OH WELL (4)
saving the life of a unmarried teen mother at the expense of two wealth creating cats (4)
having garlicky fingers (4)
that you like your women like you like your coffee, male (4)
the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be (4)
diarrhea of a mad black woman (4)
Slash's Blues Ball (4)
having worked with Cambridge undergraduates and graduates for protracted periods and being honestly able to say they aren't as a cohort notably intelligent, just focused on their usually narrow special interests, and expecting the same is true of Harvard (4)
they DO move in herds! (4)
another sad and lonely christmas (4)
I was young, I needed the money (4)
Pokemon Life As a House and Star Wars (4)
tell me something I don't know (4)
fuck marry kill, the Four Tops, Four Non Blondes, Ten Thousand Maniacs (4)
that other people's ways of brushing their teeth are fucking weird (4)
that if you fuck Kento the only option is to kill yourself (4)
wondering how many unique words appear in Tubthumping but not enough to bother counting (4)
the death of Amy Johnson (4)
compulsively lying about your fondness for big butts (4)
eating breakfast at ten pm (4)
getting the regret "all of these stupid regrets" but not having a Sometimes button (4)
going to the mall and seeing a ten foot high poster for The Huntsman Colon Winter's War that had a huge picture of Liam Gallagher or whatever the fuck the name of the star is, and his "armor" appeared to be made of the same leather as women's purses (4)
I know, I voted for them (4)
Oscar asking if he can show you his cock (4)
that Rachel was always your favourite F#R#I#E#N#D# but maybe this was because by the time you realised what a colossal wishy washy bitch she was she'd got knocked up and basically assumed some kind of personality, while Monica was actively becoming worse (4)
fuck marry kill, Courtney Cox, Brian Cox, and Myke Hawke (4)
something ribald (4)
wondering what the official butt rape tune of the Trump campaign is (4)
Siberian tits (4)
using a cherry stoner to take the cherry stone from a cherry, then observing the ragged and gaping red stained canal between the fresh, pert contours of the cherry's lower end (4)
the murder of Lena al Qasem (4)
High Elves (4)
that would depend on the size of the glass and the concentration of the pee (4)
Donald Trump's lawyers have argued that protesters "have no right" to "express dissenting views" at his campaign rallies because it infringes on the US President's First Amendment rights (4)
Double Penetration Edged Sword in the Lodestone Cold Filtered Hand Ground Slow Roasted Traditionally Poured and Puddled Adobe Flash!!! Aaahh!!! Real Hot Dirty Pocket Pool Monsters (4)
Inflation does not exist in real life (4)
being freaked out that there's a help wanted sign in the deli window, which is let's face it a new patheticism even for someone as easily freaked out as yourself (4)
Man Cheats Credit Score (4)
the painful knowledge that you are too old and out of shape for Natalie Portman to want to bang you, and you probably always were (4)
crying while listening to Agadoo (4)
meetgraham dot com dot au (4)
A teenager with teleportation abilities suddenly finds himself in the middle of an ancient war between those like him and their sworn annihilators (4)
when I tell everyone that you're in love with me (4)
the regulars using regret number one seven five two five two message each other (4)
Ugh I just, I love her, but I get so sick of her sometimes too (4)
fuck marry kill, eighteen year old Kento, twenty eight year old Kento, thirty eight year old Kento (4)
no one told you life was going to be this way slap slap slapping sounds (4)
kind of wishing that Ryan would give one of us administrator privileges so we can get rid of the spam comments (4)
Nuclear Man (4)
mimel noara (4)
Category colon Ash dick infection (4)
wondering how it is possible that Sisqo's costume from the Wild Wild West video is not in the Smithsonian's "Gayest Things of All Time" exhibit (4)
having redundant sexual organs (4)
you've taken me for granted because I please you (4)
recalling Eye of the Beholder II as a frustrating experience of dying to wolves in the woods a lot and accidentally fireballing things you wanted to not be on fire and eventually a boring dungeon where your wolf feeding experience was of no use (4)
that you can apparently get a pizza thap cam cao cap for one hundred and nine thousand dongs in Vietnam (4)
drawing a picture of SHANE McGowan covering himself in mud and screaming "DO IT! COME ON! RAPE ME NOW! I'M HERE!" in a thick IRISH accent (4)
but apparently you hate that (4)
kicking me in my heart (4)
Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump (4)
sleeping in the same bed as a dog (4)
wondering which barely scientific scifi world would be best to live in (4)
making it with a redhaired girl in a Chevrolet (4)
The American popstar Madonna agrees on a settlement with her former consort Guy Ritchie over their heir (4)
this dumb motherfucker would lose your house keys, burn down your apartment, then try to sneak off and fingerbang your stepdaughter (4)
I enjoy having sex with people I hardly know (4)
it's also possible that I might just change my mind one day for no real reason (4)
wondering how frequently the Pope or the Dalai Lama or people like that jack off (4)
licking Brian Peppers's pecker (4)
yo mama so tall when she jump in the sky it hit jesus' balls (4)
wanting to electrocute Kento's testicles and waterboard him until he tells you when his birthday is (4)
wondering why necrophilia has such a taboo against it, considering that it is symbolic of the circle of life, evocative of planting a seed in lifeless soil (4)
entering too soon (4)
taking the most amazing dump just now (4)
snapping tendons in my hand after a failed dunk attempt (4)
the recurrent concern that one day, someone we talk about, other than Kento because honestly, Kento, amirite, will turn up and there'll be this long terrible discussion about them on the front page (4)
After she sent him a cartoon image of a pump bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues, he responded with a graphic, homemade text and emoji image of an ejaculating penis (4)
being dickrolled, if you know what I mean (4)
Kento's anus (4)
that female porn stars usually have faces well below average (4)
Chris Lydon having never provided evidence he is not the Boston Strangler (3)
wondering how anyone was able to feel anything at all given the epic amounts of alcohol and cocaine that must have preceded those couplings (3)
I am hardly a suing person, and yet that just got my goat (3)
jerking off with a crusty semen stained sock up your butt (3)
Could any man really satisfy a woman sexually, if her most recent lover had been Sean Connery (3)
seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years (3)
catfish (3)
this guy (3)
Newquay gran 'disgusted' after seeing man perform sex act using campervan towbar (3)
def twins homo menage (3)
tell me your skype (3)
wondering why the call those orange fish "goldfish" (3)
wondering what Norbit was like in Fatworld (3)
that there is no "gorged tits singers smut" section (3)
fuck marry kill, Adam Duritz, Adam Levine, Adam Ant (3)
why'd YOU move to France (3)
Teresa Heinz Kerry is totally going to sue us in England (3)
making all that Kento x Hayden Christensen slash and then finding that you could have just paid them to do it irl instead of splashing out on a new computer to fake it (3)
smells like wine (3)
the death of Chris Lydon (3)
rape (3)
fuck marry kill, Ash, Brock, Misty (3)
sometimes I know your heart is full of troll waiters (3)
I don't think you really count as my significant other, we've never even met (3)
burning Sean Penn (3)
that you will probably not live for very much longer (3)
just think, you'll be able to start making porn of yourself fucking Natalie Portman, so there's that (3)
I ain't afraid of no sleepin' (3)
it doesn't really matter who I kill because I just bring them back to life (3)
Currently, the phrase 'Brit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British actors and actresses of rising prominence (3)
declaring martial law (3)
Anonymous man seeks a missed connection from nineteenseventytwo on Craigslist (3)
masturbating during Schindler's List (3)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with a severed penis (3)
being froward (3)
wondering what they call a sixty nine year jubilee (3)
not actually knowing what happens with menstruation in Star Trek, like is there a magical pill you take and it just stops or what (3)
sucking more than a cowboy's horse (3)
that you love the Regret Index but it makes you so regretful (3)
Spider Van (3)
Jasmine (3)
bottoming for R Kelley in I Believe I Will Cut You If You Don't Stop Struggling VII (3)
sex predators (3)
using the word "waffletastic" (3)
that Sandra Bullock is the female Jude Law (3)
wondering how much the tabloids would pay for a Guy Fieri Steve Harwell sex tape (3)
Raydiation (3)
your dyslexia flaring up (3)
Disney guessing how old you are (3)
fuck marry kill, only weirdly cropped, pitchbent Family Guy clips in your YouTube suggestions forever no matter what you do, blowing a guy but he jizzes diamonds & you get to keep the diamonds, spooning Jewel's boobs but also having to spoon Rob Schneider (3)
special effects in Eighties propaganda movies (3)
Canada gurls, we're unforgettable, moccasins, campaign hat on top, clammy skin so pale we'll melt your Kraft Dinner, oooooh oh oooooh (3)
getting your fist sex girl rants, sir, buying them at the five and dime (3)
drawing a picture of a group of homosexual tearful Texans pulling down their pants after seeing Kento cross the border (3)
that the rachel is back, and she's reading all the regrets (3)
gonopores (3)
fuck marry kill, Garfield, Bob Geldof, the Bangles (3)
tell me something I don't know (3)
The pants were meant to say 'animal' but due to a factory error had the word 'anal' on them in large print, just above her bottom (3)
Xragb (3)
Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Love Her! (3)
Polanski guessing how old you are (3)
that the reboot slash remake of the first Harry Potter movie is expected to be out by twenty sixteen (3)
your body is a Disneyland (3)
Jeri Ryan Seven of Nine's Breast Expansion Star Trek Voyager (3)
the new episodes of Lasagna Cat (3)
considering building a time machine in order to travel back in time and bang Lea Thompson but then realizing her daughter is way hotter (3)
wondering whether you would rather Eiffel Tower David Cameron with dickgirl Rachel Stevens, or be Eiffel Towered by dickgirls Cameron Diaz and Rachel Stevens (3)
guessing that it's intended to highlight how little certain sections of the voting public actually understand of the geopolitics they profess to have solid opinions on (3)
how the Grinch stole the US Federal Gold Reserve, over two hundred police and national guard dead, a nation mourns (3)
reading a crap book about ready made Hebrews (3)
the moment you realize you're closer to fifty than to twenty (3)
running on childrens panties time (3)
not really having anything useful to say to people in times of stress, but feeling the need to say something and consequently making a lot of low grade sexual jokes (3)
doing Dallas (3)
if there were a John Astin Elly Jackson sex tape, I'd literally pay money to see it (3)
that time you tried making Kento a wedding cake for his birthday and it all ended in tears (3)
having seen screencaps of Pamela Adlon's nude scene and knowing that if you ever actually saw the video, with sound, you would probably want to kill yourself (3)
Kento needs to be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine, whenever Kento is not being posted about, all the other posters need to be asking "where's Kento" (3)
that the concept of telepathy and telekinesis is so common in science fiction, even science fiction of the "harder" sort, yet there is absolutely no mechanic outside of pseudoscience to explain how they function (3)
confusing Jennifer Lawrence with Jennifer Garner (3)
liking your sex like you like your congress, stilted, formal, and culminating in a bill (3)
Kate Upton losing her extremities to frostbite (3)
breakdowns come and breakdowns go (3)
flying back to Kodiak tomorrow and knowing that your family is going to make you go and see Star Wars (3)
that I wasn't shaved by any midgets, I found out that something that happened to me is also part of the plot of a movie made at the time it happened (3)
wondering if the Foreign Legion would have you (3)
liking your tea like you like your sex, nonconsensual (3)
this freakin guy (3)
pink mutt pubes (3)
that you, a sado polyamorist, have bondage, latex, and wam fetishes and tied your significant others up in catsuits then whipped them viciously while a slave poured gallons of thick gloopy translucent or opaque messy substances on them (3)
applying for a job at Playboy (3)
drawing a picture of Kento screaming "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL AQUATIC MAMMALIAN SEXUAL PARTNER!" at a hippo and being told to go to his room by Chris Lydon (3)
BSjWOVis (3)
there's seven inches of snow outside, so i'm thinking of making some chocolate chip cookies for my roommates and i (3)
thinking that butt chugging was the domain of dumbass frat guys, but realizing that it is actually probably practiced more often by the hopelessly alcoholic (3)
inimically toothy sex ho (3)
wondering if you have any great recipes for TOMATOES (3)
Pennsylvania Dutch rudders, English (3)
mashing the sack on a table with a hammer, BAMBAMBAM (3)
don't even THINK about Jewel, she's mine (3)
being perceived as a joke (3)
not being able to remember his name, thus being forced to refer to Andrew Zimmern as "that guy who eats horse cock" (3)
that whenever you hear talk of Iceland ash you imagine this scene (3)
constantly cumming in Constance Cummings (3)
jokes that are either Kento or Woodsy Alan (3)
drawing a picture of the full roster of the San Antonio Spurs releasing their full morning bladders onto Kento (3)
Roman Polanski winning the Teens Don't Have a Choice Lifetime Achievement Award (3)
fuck marry kill, Kento, Brian Peppers, Sylvia Browne (3)
rating my poo (3)
that everyone keeps invoking a divorce analogy for Brexit, and you wish they would use something more appropriate, like, say, two dogs gradually decoupling after the knotting subsides (3)
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, cheerio (3)
Bicoid Fetus shits water being frightened (3)
it gives a woman the firm fanny of a twelve year old (3)
Fifteen Surprising Celebs Who Are Jerks In Real Life (3)
hoping it's not "fist or be fisted by a Star Trek cast member" (3)
Woman Who Urinates on Herself (3)
becumming Tom Petty (3)
that you are this close to adopting a child (3)
the thing in the prequels where they were like "well, the only Twi'lek females we've seen so far have been strippers, so we'd better make all female Twi'leks, even the Jedi, dress like strippers or else people will be confused" (3)
that the Regret Index is where nerdy adults running out of youth and optimism come to act like teenagers on the internet (3)
that whenever someone uses the word "bang" in the sexual sense, you think of this video (3)
holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room (3)
D'''''' (3)
two grown men fixating on a teenage boy who runs a topiary store with the older man he lives alone with, a boy who can't seem to get a steady girlfriend despite pretty girls throwing themselves at him (3)
fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, Mrs Jones, Stacey's mom (3)
holding the lime (3)
Kento's testicular volume (3)
incendio (3)
darning your socks, what are you, French (3)
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus (3)
Reddit bans deepfake porn videos (3)
on the Snopes of Mount Doom (3)
yeah, that's what I mean, people are basically just filming porn with a three sixty camera and playing it on an oculus rift, but when are we going to get the actual fully interactive stuff with maybe a crotchpiece or something (3)
wondering what did happen to that guy Daniel punched in the face (3)
that the dozen or so British people with whom you have had professional relations have all had unbelievably poor manners and high promiscuity, and you don't want to imply that all British people are like that, but those are definitely not unBritishisms (3)
watching Prometheus (3)
that apparently performing cunnlingus on Kat Dennings would require watching BOTH Thor movies, which is a commitment I'd rather not make (3)
hearing about those horse meat infused burgers being sold in the UK, and becoming curious about how horse tastes (3)
Donald Trump wants to build a wall on the Mexican border and based on his tone he also wants to fuck that wall (3)
wondering what kind of contract you made with Will Smith (3)
being that chicken flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like chicken (3)
not getting your nice shoes cleaned after the orgy (3)
fuck marry kill, Joey, Ross, Chandler (3)
from the directors of the Matrix and nothing else worth mentioning (3)
having a one night stand with a guy who makes you call him Mr Bubble (3)
that the NYC police used to famously extort more money in fines from prisoner by posting "PLEASE DO NOT EXPECTORATE" signs all over the cells, a word spitting Irish toughs couldn't possibly be expected to know (3)
tasting your own semen 'to hike jew slut tits sea' (3)
Kim Kardashian eating her son after son's birth (3)
shaving my head for this (3)
losing your life savings to a foxy babe (3)
realizing that if you were female you would have stupidly got yourself pregnant by some idiot you barely knew and thought you loved a decade ago (3)
ironically if you were a walrus, being a priapic insomniac would make you a big success (3)
unfortunate product names (3)
I don't think that's going to make the deli girl like you (3)
UK national sperm bank has just nine donors (3)
comments that make no sense (2)
the man, the legend (2)
being allowed to choose five celebrities you're allowed to fuck when there were only four Golden Girls (2)
just now getting that the "T" in "Mr T" stands for "trouble" (2)
thinking that if Kento ever snaps and does something terrible to other people instead of just himself, Ryan would hand over our IP addresses in a heartbeat (2)
thrusting your penises out (2)
fearing that Ryan will come back, look at the comments, and assume that his regret site has turned into the next grindr (2)
telling the potatoes joke (2)
the death of Garry Marshall (2)
wondering who the hell eats a four pound cake (2)
SPOILER ALERT Kento dies after getting Eiffel Towered by Lex Luthor and the Death Star (2)
love cuts just like a knife (2)
Thirty Nine Percent Of Americans Shower In The Pee (2)
doing Bryce Dallas Howard (2)
believing in god (2)
Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Yttrium Oxygen Uranium (2)
that a year from now, the Regret Index will just be a couple of idiots snickering about pornstar names over and over, plus ca change (2)
I should really get some sleep (2)
being c%l (2)
seeing that horse get yelled at by that lazy yuppie bimbo for touching her son when the horse just stopped him from running out into traffic because the yuppie mom was too busy playing with her iPhone to pay attention (2)
shaving my ladyparts (2)
back in the nineties when getting caught with your dick in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer (2)
Kento's nude, dismembered, entirely shaven corpse being found in a locker at a Topeka bus station last Friday (2)
Significant works of Rene Auberjonois are on public display at the Aargauer Kunsthaus, the Kunstmuseum Basel, the Cantonal Museum of Fine Arts in Lausanne, the Kunsthaus Zurich and the Werner Coninx Stiftung (2)
wondering who we should get to play the President in our Hand Job Robot Apocalypse movie (2)
he smashed too hard (2)
drawing a picture of a dude ejaculating on Kento (2)
I use my anus (2)
that you vow that from now on you will not write any sexual regrets about Kento (2)
drawing a picture of Sexy Tooth Fairy Rachel Stevens wearing nothing but an impish smile, magic wand, and a bloody necklace made from the teeth and jawbone fragments of the Cocksure American Regrettor Who Does Some Kind of Teaching Job in Denmark (2)
this is a California Cheeseburger (2)
never getting around to building that sex dungeon (2)
straddling Kento and pounding his bottom (2)
wondering how you feel about father slash son incest (2)
when did we get like this (2)
hey guys, remember the Scissor Sisters (2)
do you have any idea how much it costs to qualify as a padawan, let alone a Jedi Knight (2)
being poor and buying lottery tickets regularly because shit, it's not like Richard "My island burned down so I had to forego holding models for nearly ten seconds" Branson has any to spare that wouldn't be terribly missed (2)
suggesting the Karate Kid series for your next movie binge, because The Karate Kid III is one of the greatest movies of all time (2)
the incident has left me feeling tainted and worried that if I am caught short in similar circumstances there maybe someone hiding in the bushes filming me (2)
Child found dead in Fenton colon Woman arrested (2)
i imgur com oneZuIsixmz jpg (2)
that you would like your corpse to be partially dried, sealed in some type of resin, then popped like popcorn (2)
when they made Stephen Fry, they broke the mould, and then they used it to make Kento (2)
everybody is out of my league (2)
hi, I'm Bleached Kodyak, nice to meet you (2)
once the dj lets it spin it'll penetrate your skin (2)
shooting day for night (2)
how weird sexual organs are, I mean really, they're all pretty weird (2)
defending your brazier from Brendan Frasier (2)
she was tearing your teeth out with puckish glee and her inhumanly strong fingers the whole time (2)
Sixty One Percent Of Americans Pee In The Shower (2)
taking a photograph of Donald Trump blowing Bill Clinton while Prince Andrew watches from a palm tree and masturbates (2)
old speckled hen (2)
what's going to happen is they will come to their senses, and we will all be just fine (2)
the Houston Gamblers (2)
if you're not nesting in a surveillance tower to masturbate, you're doing it wrong (2)
guessing that the broad premise of Holy Hal is that a three hundred pound man falls in love with a three hundred pound woman, but he sees her as a nine hundred pound woman and helps her achieve those gains (2)
star whackers (2)
your son gleefully jacking off Jackie Gleason (2)
Scientists Bust Myth That Our Bodies Have More Bacteria Than Human Cells (2)
Bonobono (2)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Doll Ritchie (2)
breasts (2)
After many years of silence, around the same time as the Fifth Holy Grail War would have happened, the Yggdmillennia, a family of magi, openly declares their secession from the Mage's Association, and that they are in possession of the Grail (2)
that a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm, prompting the bartender to ask "cash or charge" regarding the duck's payment method, to which the duck responds "just put it on my bill" (2)
milk of amnesia (2)
delivering Kento's package (2)
fuck fuck fuck (2)
fuck marry kill, fatworld Ellie Jackson, dickgirl Rachel Stevens, hirsute Emma Watson (2)
putting the ass in Jurassic Park (2)
clicking on "I'm Feeling Lucky" when you weren't feeling lucky (2)
Drill My Gay Stepson! (2)
running a train on two ho's (2)
facefucking Kento (2)
really wishing journalists would write "his passion became aroused" instead of "he got angry" (2)
registering 'my dick is ten inches long' as a trademark (2)
not really believing a highly paid clinical diagnostician of a prestgious teaching hospital would get home from a psychiatric institionalization on the freakin' bus (2)
PokeMunchers (2)
in light of the horrible attack in Nice, France, I have postponed tomorrow's news conference concerning my vice presidential announcement while I think of something worse than losers to call the French (2)
special colon contributions (2)
it you cut down the tree the hedges get more light (2)
wanting to double check with your low key girlfriend from when you were sixteen that she did not in fact get pregnant and never tell you, because maybe being a deadbeat absent dad is better than being forever alone (2)
#walrusgate (2)
not eating the fucking rice (2)
shaving my legs for this (2)
Anti Defamation League Declares Pepe the Frog Shit (2)
provocative and emotional pokemon (2)
HP is short for Hard Penis (2)
remember Trump, he's back, in GOP form (2)
Kento came in and wrote one one seven seven three two and someone else with real feelings came in and regretted heart to hearts and there may have been an australian (2)
Any candidate for the presidential election in the United States of America is welcome to receive a briefing from the Met Police on the reality of policing London (2)
wondering how a kid could possibly earn pesos (2)
testing a hypothesis (2)
don't be fucking facetious (2)
fuck marry kill, Jewel with poisonous breasts that lactate acid when she gets excited, Emma Watson but naked she's like a Barbie with no genitalia and weird articulation points, young Julie Newmar but you're a child and she's a pedophile who abuses you (2)
wondering why one's true love would give one eight maids a milking and a shit ton of birds, but no mammals for the maids to milk (2)
touching Leighton Meester's shit (2)
ignoring other people's feelings (2)
taking the hugest dump (2)
seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactical upsets (2)
using an oil based lubricant during really hot sex (2)
I happen to like eight year old boys (2)
wondering if they called her Jackie O because she was really good at hand jobs (2)
wondering what Courtney Cox spent so much money on that she still has to work (2)
they travel in herds (2)
Not having anyone to send a sexy snapchat to even though you feel capable of taking one of yourself for the first time in your sad life (2)
not having peed on Kento's face yet (2)
Now turn around bitch, put that ass on a nigga, grind on his dick make it get a little bigger (2)
The entire refrigerator was smeared with what appeared to be a sludge of some sort, varying in color from red to yellow to black (2)
voting yes or no on this regret (2)
Chloe tho (2)
fuck marry kill, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Bill the Pony (2)
what you did to that hobo under the bridge (2)
getting blacklisted (2)
Chris Lydon Grabs Kento's Crotch in Attempt to Show Paparazzo What He Really Thinks (2)
wondering whether you've heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise (2)
privatizing Ryan's privates (2)
that you like your women like you like your coffee,, black (2)
Margaret Hilda Thatcher's thick carpet of pubes (2)
I have had a golden shower before from a woman and it burned my eyes (2)
saying "I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy do I have a lot of hair in my mouth!" as a joke thinking the "hair in my mouth" would make people come to the comedic realization that you were licking a cat, totally forgetting vulvae have hair too, oops (2)
typical Lancastrian (2)
wanting to give Kento a butterfinger for his birthday (2)
Werewolf Colon The Apocalypse (2)
wondering if there is a special term for fisting two menstruating women at once (2)
realizing that none of the birds that have become memes on the Regret Index taste very good (2)
that there is an alarming level of Scooby Doo related pornographic fanart out there, and sure you can say that about anything, but Scooby Doo seems to lend itself particularly well to the fantasies of perverts for some reason (2)
guessing that at some point the Old Republic had an extreme State's Rights faction take power and basically gut the executive branch (2)
losing your dinosaur at a Virginity Jr concert (2)
fuck marry kill, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Bill from Kill Bill (2)
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Adobe Audition works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such (2)
Elmo porn (2)
fuck marry kill, Cheers, Wings, Frasier (2)
the two ingredients of squirming babies (2)
Pennsylvania Court Says Alien Romps Aren't Public Records (2)
fuck marry kill LaVar Ball, Lucille Ball, Ed Balls (2)
learning just now that there's just one d in sodomizing (2)
Winona Ryder is an American actress, most famous for her roles in Beetlejuice, Dracula, and The Crucible (2)
wondering why it is that whenever an American newspaper seeks celebrity comments on an issue related to the UK they always cite JK Rowling first, and wondering if the Biritsh public likewise holds Ms Rowling's opinions in such esteem (2)
having to cancel Thanksgiving at your house because you had hyperekplexia (2)
not, "per woman", that would be stupid, there's only one and a half gallons in each woman on average (2)
fuck marry kill, Winona Ryder, Ariel Winter, Jewel (2)
doing it without lubrication (2)
that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, seven inches is big for an Asian (2)
Salmon milk comes from the males (2)
I voted for Camel McCamelface (2)
Eleanor strikes again (2)
hearing Lose Yourself playing over the speakers in a supermarket and wondering if it is part of a subliminal ad campaign to boost spaghetti sales (2)
wondering if it's too late to keep Alicia Silverstone in a curio cabinet so that you may marvel at her at your own leisure (2)
wondering what they put in the nonvegan olive oil (2)
ICheckRaise (2)
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of frozen walrus semen on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly (2)
Rick Tailfeathers, Mayor of Duckburg (2)
The trouble with a 'scientific' argument, of course, is that it relies solely on empirical facts (2)
Starsuckers (2)
hooking up with this girl l met on the internet (2)
wanting to make Kento spontaneously combust for his birthday (2)
wondering if Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson ever considered naming his daughter Dog Paper (2)
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her absence (2)
wondering where the plot of Firefly would have gone if it had survived longer as a series, instead of being canceled and resurrected as a movie (2)
he was only nine years old so I doubt he caused much damage (2)
thinking that if Kento had hands that were just a little bit smaller, he would make a great "bottom" gay porn star (2)
wondering whether you would rather have sex with Dickgirl Jewel or Fatworld Jewel, but not knowing whether your desire to spoon Jewel's boobs would outweigh your love of women by the pound (2)
freezing a lump of peanut butter in secret, just to see what would happen (2)
reading that Julian Assange's internet has gone down and Wikileaks believes this was done by "a state party" and thinking no, it's probably his fucking printer shitting up the homehub, or his FourG dongle provider doing upgrades and crippling coverage (2)
Harrison Ford injured in peach snarl (2)
fuck marry kill, ten lords a leaping, seven swans a swimming, two French hens (2)
wondering how hard it would be to program a self driving car to seek out and collect Pokemon for you (2)
driving your snowblower so hard it explodes in Winter (2)
wondering what you died of (2)
all star by smash mouth (2)
being the second most voted on regret, but only being the fourth most discussed slash spammed on regret (2)
reading the comments (2)
spooning Jennifer Aniston's boobs (2)
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina (2)
Kento's sizzle reel (2)
Kento being banned from the Regret Index (2)
the death of Kento (2)
that whenever you hear talk of enchiladas you imagine this scene (2)
victory (2)
basically the first Matrix was kind of OK hokum, then the two sequels were showy garbage that drew heavily on Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's technology and probably reference a whole bunch of shit I don't care about (2)
Jabba the Hutt Colon The Art of the Deal (2)
elbowing the president in the face (2)
seeing that horse working its way through college as a Starbucks barista being brought to tears by a rude, abusive customer after the horse dropped their mocha latte (2)
not hooking up with the mohel when you had the chance (2)
wondering what the criteria one uses to judge one's success as a huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth are (2)
I'm sorry (2)
Home Alone The Return of the Wet Bandits establishing higher production values and a more convincing plot than Home Alone IV just thirty seconds in (2)
because it's American made (2)
furry calk milk, Jenny , Sleigh Hero, Lewd Cunt (2)
I want the BEST WOMAN, but I need the WORST CAT (2)
people who praise Scandianivan Socialism while forgetting that the main reason is works so well is that pretty much everyone in Scandinavia is Scandinavian (2)
demanding respect from a machine (2)
hot hairy girls (2)
meating J's wife, then finishing off on J's mom (2)
la Setmana Tragica turtles (2)
having non consensual sex with a spring onion (2)
Bleachy and the Brit (2)
having a beautiful ass (2)
Kento "Dick Dick Dick" Ikeda (2)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (2)
wondering when and why it became gauche for the ultra rich to employ court dwarfs (2)
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon knotting inside Kento after oral intercourse (2)
Number Two Will Make You Weep (2)
Rick Moranis (2)
that one of rachel's best friends is a moderately famous softcore lesbian movie star (2)
The Gay Sisters (2)
tonight there's going to be a jail break, somewhere in this town (2)
Hulk Hogan's skin (2)
that's weird, last night I dreamed that someone came to my home and made me his thirteenth spouse, and Kento was telling me he got fucked thirteen times last night (2)
also not really wanting to talk to Gemma because apparently she lives with Ben, who last you heard was stealing cars for a living (2)
Music From Another Room is a romantic comedy that follows the exploits of Danny, a young man who grew up believing he was destined to marry the girl he helped deliver as a five year old boy when his mother's best friend went into emergency labor (2)
Han dies (2)
the man in the yellow hat (2)
wanking to youth porn, hi (2)
trying to conceive of the enormity of a crime or series of crimes that would mandate incarceration for a billion years (2)
putting off seeing like thirty movies with one actor in common for almost a decade, even though most of them were at least kind of OK and some were really very good (2)
looking up adult dance classes but never joining one, if you know what I mean (2)
sqoou!ug Jamal's doods (2)
something is happening here but you don't know what it is (2)
a cheeky Nando's (2)
Mr Penn wrote that the drug lord ironically called Mr Trump "Mi Amigo!" (2)
Trump Demands New York Times Apologize for Saying He Rooted Mr Pecker (2)
dwarf porn (2)
needing to fuck a midget on your deathbed (2)
Trump wants a much nigger navy (2)
ratemypoo dot com (2)
seeing a picture of Henry Kissinger jacking off in the shower over a bruised and bloodied Kento (2)
language (2)
Pokemon Sucking Dick and Getting Off! (2)
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP written on her clothing (2)
pretty much every scene with Obi Wan and Qui Gon (2)
wondering how big an anal ring needs to be to be considered "huge" (2)
Thant (2)
thinking finding someone ass up before the toilet choked on her own vomit would've been made up for by the three or four years of stress free sexing before she keeled (2)
Vader's Redemption Colon The Imperial March in a Major Key (2)
suspecting that Chevy Chase could never have been bothered to even come to set, and they probably just recorded his lines in a porno studio somewhere (2)
helping your uncle jack put on a donkey show, with a matinee on saturdays and sundays and wednesdays too in the high season (2)
not realising that the best way to get a British bird to drop her knickers is to do bottomlessly stupid things, crikey (2)
wondering if breeding for France automatically means having sex with a twelve year old girl, here in the early twenty first century (2)
being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in order (2)
that the moon is lOO% SUPER HOMOSEXUAL (2)
wondering what the worst thing anybody has ever written is (2)
taking the chewiest dump (2)
that it's pretty much just racism (2)
that the swan regrets are not funny, stop it please (2)
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Jurassic Park where Laura Dern sticks her arm up a dinosaur's ass and wondering where it came from (2)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (2)
wondering whether you would rather have a bisexual fourway with a wookiee, another guy and Princess Leia in a garbage masher on the detention level or get banged by Dickgirl Padme in the middle of the Dune Sea, without a reacharound (2)
the New York of the F#R#I#E#N#D#S# seems pretty sweet, with the giant ass affordable vermin free modern apartments and the abundance of great jobs (2)
the Islamicisation of Christmas (2)
I don't drink coffee (2)
no one ever died from mowing a hot cunt (2)
trying to give a Regret Index user a hot brown sandwich in the communal laundry room (2)
masturbating in a public library (2)
Tupac Shakur's mom dies (2)
holding the line (2)
that you'd like to connect in an honest way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence (2)
Kenchel (2)
this ass (2)
ranking your meat (2)
to avoid complications, she never kept the semen dress (2)
a chilling vision of the end of humanity (2)
North Korea still relies on human excrement to run its government (2)
fuck marry kill, Bob McKenzie, Doug McKenzie, Hayden Christensen (2)
not knowing offhand when babies begin teething (2)
odd numbered Star Trek movies (2)
rating Myke Hawke (2)
Threepio does (2)
having to get up in five hours (2)
busking (2)
cuties (2)
I have no frame of reference for a coffee can (2)
being a minimalist (2)
wondering if a crappy personality quiz on a website calling you the female Shia LaBeouf would be grounds for defamation (2)
being unrapeable (2)
to avoid constipation, she never crapped the same address (2)
Cosby testifies for seven hours in abuse suit, lawyer says (2)
guessing that Scarlett Johansson, and most actresses in general, have buttholes in most of the movies they're in (2)
wondering what the resident regret index medical expert has to say about the possible adverse reactions of putting mustard on one's penis (2)
banging a minor heroine butt (2)
punching Sister Beech (2)
getting Spice World instead of a Bananarama movie (2)
our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of walking into doors (2)
rating Ruth England (2)
wondering why fat cats hold such great appeal for humans that, say, fat dogs don't (2)
Pregnant Women Warned to Stay Away From Big Willie (2)
getting a serious looking face tattooed on one boob and a man's body in miniature beneath with a speech bubble on the other boob and the words "I'm a breast man myself" simply to commit to a very involved joke (2)
an overall ill fit for Vin Diesel's crash pic mural art, (2)
chinnery (2)
that intelligence generally has an inverse correlation with social skills (2)
tasting your own semen 'just to see what it's like' (2)
incautiously falling for a witch (2)
that you would totally bang Clarabelle over Minnie any day of the week (2)
Dog With A Butt Plug (2)
demisemihemidemisemiquavers (2)
that pictures can be hung, but people are always hanged (2)
Hoodon Ponottooro (2)
you might have met someone who would possibly have been your Mr Miyagi but he was heavily fined for employing illegal immigrants and you kind of lost track of him (2)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (2)
having three Kentos but not being able to train them to do anything except Eiffel Tower each other (2)
your new dildo being too big for you (2)
I get it (2)
I'm going home to sleep with my wife (2)
the only fruit juice you had on han was Naked Green Machine (2)
wondering if there is an alternative cut of Her where Pedomustache Twombly furiously beats his meat, pausing only to order his hapless AI to "say more sexy stuff" (2)
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast Patrick Stewart as a Frenchman (2)
Ariel Winter "Begging" Boyfriend To Get Her Pregnant "ASAP" Is Made Up (2)
fuck marry kill, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle (2)
Go Ikeda alone having orally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit (2)
inside of Bananarama it's too dark to read (2)
realizing that out of your entire high school graduating class, you're probably the only heterosexual woman who is still a virgin and is NOT a hard core Christian (2)
shton Kutcher's inability to play Ashton Kutcher convincingly (2)
seeing an ad that you truly have no fucking idea what it's trying to say (2)
Star Wars' plans to be a billion dollar movie with the help of toy sales (2)
we should send him fanmail (2)
feeding a recurrent neural network with the scripts for every episode of F#R#I#E#N#D#S# (2)
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the bigger picture (2)
being Super Ted (2)
watching fifteen year old David Blaine "tricks" (2)
Which Leonardo DiCaprio Character Is Your Soulmate (2)
they aren't booing, they're saying "Boo ernie!" (2)
bottoming for Beef Blastbody in The Fissure King VII (2)
Vegan Fuchen (2)
this ad (2)
David Pumpkins being less amusing than advertised (2)
Air China receives criticism in the United Kingdom after it releases an advertisement warning passengers from visiting areas of London populated by blacks, Indians and Pakistanis (2)
fucking ass (2)
fuck date kill, Earthlink, a straight guy, Sylvia Browne (2)
filling the bath tub with your own fecal matter and drowning a man in it (2)
that most of the music of the nineties seems to have been droning repetitive crap (2)
seriously having no clue what the fuck Kento's problem is (2)
having dyxlesia (2)
hi kento (2)
meeting Brian Knobbs (2)
liking your women like you like your presidents, black (2)
you mom sucking dicks that don't have cash (2)
you should legally change your middle name to something really British like Crumpet or Boris or Benny Hill or something (2)
wondering why big red dogs hold such great appeal for humans that, say, big red cats don't (2)
still not having seen Teacakes Frown, eh, or Goo En Rue (2)
wondering how many people ever got a tattoo of shtn Ktchr and how that's working out for them (2)
sleeping in the same bed as dago (2)
Stonehenge stones 'spent centuries erected in Wales' before being transported (2)
getting two identical coins and flattening them against each other so that the heads are making out (2)
having a sudden impure thought to milk Winona Rider (2)
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe you when you said your cookie recipe was better with shortening than with butter (2)
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid (2)
setting s foils in attack position (1)
pingpu peoples (1)
thinking you have brain cancer whenever you get a nosebleed (1)
rumour swept London that a pig faced woman was living in Marylebone (1)
I agree but where are we going to find an animal with a large enough jaw (1)
wondering how Kento got over nine thousand followers on Twitter (1)
thinking that we should roast Kento for about twenty five minutes a pound (1)
girl on girl sex during pregnancy (1)
why'd you move to France (1)
doing machines (1)
wondering what your favourite meme is (1)
I'm standing here in pieces and you're having delusions of grandeur bottoming for Red VI in Millennium Porkins VI (1)
always misspelling sodomy (1)
watching Perfect Body and feeling like it would have been improved by a scene in which Andie attacks a mirror, believing she is a bag of Doritos, mortally wounding herself just prior to winning Olympic gold (1)
I'm not a chick (1)
Pokemon Diamonds and Rust (1)
not choosing the wagon life (1)
playing it til your fingers bled (1)
that's quite the ask (1)
Buttadeus (1)
there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world (1)
supposing we shouldn't really be surprised that a year later Trump still doesn't understand what TIME's Person of the Year is actually about (1)
such cow cum in a rape vial (1)
An Ohio entrepreneur has filed an application to trademark the name of Harambe (1)
wondering who rates dumps and how you can submit dumps for rating, because you've had some that were quite passionate and huge and you would like to see how they measure up (1)
rook takes buttocks, check and mate (1)
this is a rat burger (1)
William Hogarth with his Pug, Trump (1)
During their private White House meeting on Thursday, Mr Obama walked his successor through the duties of running the country, and Mr Trump seemed surprised by the scope, said people familiar with the meeting (1)
Popstar Colon Never Stop Never Stopping (1)
pizza is the best food (1)
the rainbow ruse (1)
sometimes missing taking baths as opposed to showering, because there's nothing quite as satisfying as farting in the bath (1)
we're bullies (1)
wondering what kind of things you often write so that "buggererbig" is in your autofill (1)
once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back (1)
wishing you could have been a fly on the wall at the studio meetings where the producers kept trying to convince Peter Jackson to fit more Orlando Bloom into the Hobbits, probably going so far as to suggest having two Legolases on the screen at a time (1)
He liked to post innocent looking links that led to a photo of a My Little Pony doll he had jerked off on (1)
liking to know where you got the notion (1)
Sting playing the Seinfeld sting (1)
swimming in the same tank as Kento (1)
The Black Whores of DC (1)
I would never fuck a dumpster or a dump, don't be ridiculous (1)
fuck marry kill, sexual intercourse, marriage, homicide (1)
EVACUATING bowels until they IMPLODE (1)
ogre pair (1)
saying "keep fucking that chicken" (1)
introducing the Amazon Prime Regret Index, same day remorse, free and unlimited (1)
realising that Juche has taken a hold of you and you have come to see Kim Jong il and Kim Jong un as the same Glorious Leader (1)
any damsel that's in distress be outta that dress when she meet Jim West (1)
fuck marry kill, Gary Oldman, Gary Numan, Gary Youngman (1)
beeing (1)
Shia LaBeouf Is Watching All His Movies At Angelika Film Center Right Now (1)
writing crappy dialogue (1)
bluh (1)
horse to meet you (1)
wondering if Woody Allen and Roman Polanski hang out much imagining Bill Cosby's jello slicked O face looming over you (1)
hoping that Kento Claus, soaring through the Christmas night sky on his sleigh pulled by a team of flying walruses, delivers lots of depressing, lonely toys to your house this Christmas (1)
wondering how Kento writes his name in kanji (1)
divas can at least sing (1)
If you have a ticket for Wembley on Tuesday then it's time to learn La Marseillaise (1)
Twin Boob Jobs #Two (1)
seriously wondering whether Bryan Adams knows how to pronounce 'Porsche' (1)
his face was made for punching, and that's just what you'll do, one of these days he'll get his face punched in by you (1)
Will Smith's ability to read insipid raps from a script in a way that almost sounds like he cares (1)
sucking on dicks like twenty four seven all weekend (1)
marrying young (1)
Seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes (1)
being blacklisted for having a leaky colon (1)
the texture of a sponge cake is heavily influenced by the mixing technique (1)
Apple Colon give us your fuckin' money (1)
throwing a party and forgetting you invited Andrew Zimmern and having to drive all the way to Bulk Knackers to pick up ten pounds of llama cocks (1)
maybe I wanted us to be exclusive, but I was worried about losing you, did you ever think of that (1)
seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years (1)
Man caught masturbating while watching The Emoji Movie (1)
Howard marks (1)
that you'll never have a four way with Prairie Dawn, Rosie, and Granny Bird from Sesame Street, and sure, you could probably look up someone else's weird take on a frankly weird desire, but it's not the same (1)
learning to say 'where is the bathroom' in every language so that when people ask if you speak any given language you can say "I don't know much, but I know 'where is the bathroom', that may be all I need to know" (1)
molesting huge children (1)
getting a raw blow from Rob Lowe (1)
all the people getting head on graciefilms dot com (1)
Secundus likes to screw boys (1)
FBI Colon Tycoon Was Extorted By Gay Porn Star (1)
sith guy (1)
seeing a guy beg for change outside a suburban grocery store and simutaneously being suspicious and sad for him (1)
the Island of the Virgin Presidents (1)
to be fair, although she looks like she could drown, she does turn that frown upside down (1)
Kim Kardashian West Had a 'Brutal Girthy Hole' Because of Placenta Complications Colon Source (1)
wondering where, hypothetically, Kento falls on the spectrum of most dangerous game (1)
seriously craving some Burger King, but not trusting the one by your house since he asked if you have a sister and whether she was "fun" (1)
Topless female protesters manhandled after disrupting Islamic conference in France (1)
wondering which will prove the better movie, Teen Wolf Too or Mr Magorium's Whorehouse and Toystore (1)
sarongs (1)
having a dog named Buster (1)
Pokemon Cum (1)
creating a script that just prints CHARMING twice and terminates (1)
having a kid named Buster (1)
camgirling (1)
that the world will end in two thousand twelve (1)
Ketchum man charged with sexual assault (1)
watching Black Mirror because of the pig thing but being three episodes in and thinking it's much less clever than it thinks it is (1)
Oasis (1)
flying All Nippon Airways (1)
Wrecking Ball chatroulette version (1)
The Shining really is a great name for a romcom (1)
spurious precision (1)
leaving mould in a mug for so long that when you finally got round to washing it, it sprayed a blue cloud around the kitchen on contact with water and made you sneeze (1)
compagnie 'elle' (1)
that it is impossible to be "so alone" because "alone" is an absolute (1)
Letitia Dunbar Harrison (1)
that there is no scale akin to bra cup size to indicate the size of asses (1)
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to take a shit in their skull (1)
wondering if it is possible to ogle something other than breasts (1)
Martian Anus (1)
Jennifer Lawrence reveals the two words she wants to say to Donald Trump (1)
those times when you have a really intense, meaningful dream, and you try to explain it to other people but it comes out looking boring and retarded (1)
poetry, fuck (1)
I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell (1)
wondering what's wrong with jizzing on thousands of flutes and distributing them to ten year olds #kinkshaming (1)
I'd have called them chazzwazzers (1)
Sopor Moroo Bros (1)
fuck marry kill, Jessie, James, Meowth (1)
wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda (1)
doing everything, if you know what I meat (1)
I can't even put a finger on Uranus (1)
Impressing Any Woman With Big Dick (1)
Barely Scald Geldof (1)
the very idea of a mouth smashing contest (1)
that coming five or six times in about thirty hours makes it so difficult to masturbate (1)
I didn't know they made T cup bras (1)
Pokemon Extraordinarily Long Penises and Gonopores (1)
chapped teats (1)
wondering how you feel about pony slash recipe incest (1)
Cthreepios's enormous erection (1)
provocative and emotional lesbos (1)
that Betty White is in her nineties (1)
answering the telephone with "fuck you" (1)
that your support of and fondness towards the homosexual community gets mistaken as homosexuality by the straight one (1)
Mike Pence tweeted that calls to ban Muslims from entering the US are "offensive and unconstitutional" (1)
wanting a Predator vs Independence Day crossover just for the line "welcome to erf GET TO DA CHOPPA" (1)
feeling it coming in the air tonight (1)
nobody mentioning rachel in a regret yet (1)
hypnagogic jerks (1)
having a kid named Annyong (1)
not having a jambalaya based on you (1)
Cumbag Steve (1)
I'm telling you that there is a one to one correlation between eating those raw red bell peppers and the burnt rubber farts (1)
Homos with meat (1)
that canned asparagus looks like baby poop (1)
spitting blood when you brush or floss (1)
the secret sauce of America is innovation and entrepreneurship (1)
Animorphs, the most beautiful lie (1)
Meaty the Cock Elf (1)
wondering what will become of the US Army's storied Fifty Seventh Dickgirl Brigade (1)
that's the dumbest joke I've ever made (1)
which Disney Princess you are (1)
It's the Great Blumpkin, Charlie Brown (1)
tweeting to a singer that you want to take a shit in her scanties (1)
Ann Veal (1)
that cut scene from THX OneOneThreeEight in which LUH ThreeFourOneSeven closes the bathroom cabinet too quickly and severs her other hand in the door (1)
fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Bear Grylls, James Wesley, Rawles (1)
getting a weight off your chest (1)
one pill makes you larger, and one pill Eiffel Towers you with a wal (1)
wondering how Gary Fisher is taking all of this (1)
ashley simpson naked pictures (1)
taking your best girl out to dinner at Chuck E Cheese (1)
going all the way to Butts County and not even meeting the Count of Butts (1)
ODD (1)
ONE Rachel Steven, ah, ah, ah, TWO Rachel Stevens, ah, ah, ah, THREE Rachel Stevens, ah, ah, ah (1)
this is exactly what I'm talking about, Eleanor has obviously programmed the Mk VII to choose banging a door and actually getting off on it over any kind of sexual activity with me, that whole site is a scam (1)
A woman was shot in the vagina and left with "life changing injuries" in a sex game gone wrong (1)
rewriting Regret Index Colon the Movie as Two Jerk Guys (1)
trying to find a Christ figure in every work of fiction, including McDonald's commercials (1)
the two cartoon dicks JMW Turner painted on The Slave Ship (1)
Kento Diet Can Ruin Your Rectum, Podcasters Say (1)
Trump should deport Nikki Haley (1)
Toook x Croog (1)
you should have eaten your crusts (1)
wearing your genitals on the outside (1)
filthy experiences (1)
wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter (1)
this guy right here (1)
being in the unfortunate habit of falling for a pretty smile (1)
misleading the Senate, that's a paddlin' (1)
taking a dump so big your pants fit better (1)
Prince George tries to grab a bilby (1)
nobody measuring dickgirl Rachel Stevens in a regret yet (1)
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan in Two Fisted Snookering VII (1)
being a barmacist (1)
it really would be too simple to turn a description of a horrible use of sex as a means of oppression into a regret about Kento, Chris Lydon,and walruses (1)
going home and worshipping the moon (1)
seeing a headline about Janet Jackson having a new tour and honestly thinking she was already dead (1)
seeing a picture of Winston Churchill in a skintight bathing suit that clearly outlines his cock and balls (1)
unwittingly accepting an invitation to listen to nine sixth form girls talking about their bra sizes followed by the two next to you having a lesbian affair (1)
having a sudden, weird flashback to the library in you small home town (1)
Miley Cyrus 'Heals Physical and Emotional Pain' With Latest 'Bangerz' Tour Show After Death Of Pet Dog Floyd (1)
liking your women like you like your steak, blue (1)
a beautiful summer's day (1)
fuck marry kill, Los Angeles out of Blade Runner, New York out of The Fifth Element, whatever shithole that's supposed to be out of the Spice Up Your Life music video (1)
mononymous singers (1)
Another Slingshot Ride, Another Wet Cunt (1)
two legit two leak (1)
Some people are kind of Scottish, or maybe, um, uh, afraid, and you're trying to persuade (1)
Pool McCortnoo ond Wongs (1)
Michael Jordan Gatorade "Is It In You" Commercial Outtakes! (1)
dissembling to keep yourself from rambling on about invisible lines of force, dedication to form and the innate sensual beauty of cooperative gymnastic activity (1)
Jennifer Love Hewitt's Boobs Worth $five Million (1)
the fact of almost incestuous breeding (1)
people who say 'eff' instead of 'fuck' (1)
giant floppy cocks (1)
kind of wanting to write a novel, and then accidentally having it turn into a semiautobiographical allegory (1)
always imagining Kento to be a neat freak (1)
Nabooian nerve knockers (1)
I want to fuck you like q mineral (1)
Pamela Anderson says she's sucked a lot of cock to get where she is today and doesn't 'want to hear that she shouldn't have had to gobble a couple of yards of pork' (1)
that you once wrote "bite my shiny metal ass" into a four hundred year old book, just because you could (1)
thinking that Balkanization in the Balkans was inevitable due to their name (1)
which active actors have eaten the most cod in the past decade (1)
mad black diarrhea of a woman (1)
shootin' some bystanders outside of the school (1)
taking holiday in Brownsville (1)
wondering whether Alfonso Ribeiro is the black Alex Winter or Alex Winter is the white Alfonso Ribeiro (1)
getting through boring movies by reading things on another device whenever your attention wanders (1)
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big senior penis behind my ass for my head pictures (1)
wondering why the British version of American Gladiators wasn't called British Gladiators, Cheerio, cheerio (1)
opening the door, getting on the floor, having dinosaur sex with agent fifty seven (1)
fuck marry kill, Gene Hackman, Gene Hunt, Gene Talia (1)
the War on Christmas (1)
An American says she fell asleep with a headache and woke up with a British accent, cheerio (1)
remembering way back on THIS 'dex when we hit TWENTY thousand regrets and it seemed like an absolutely mindboggling impossible number (1)
skin (1)
Time Travelling Kento coming back to have sex with himself (1)
having a concept for an audio book series in which you actually read the book in real time, just not out loud, and offer the resulting audio unedited for sale, but not living anywhere quiet enough to do it even if you still had the means to record it (1)
the daughter in Home Alone V was also the murderous zombie girl in The Cabin in the Woods (1)
betting your right nut on a pair of jacks (1)
fuck marry kill, James A Garfield, Andrew Garfield, Garfield (1)
honestly wishing you could go back to the time in your life when anything could make you as excited as that crisp made that kid (1)
confusing hanukkah with bukkake (1)
regrets about pony blowing (1)
Vatican sacks gay priest after highly public coming out (1)
Facegrindr (1)
having no clue who Kento is (1)
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Pork Stripe With Minor at Youth Camp (1)
my recollection is that she assumes the main character's identity after his death (1)
imagining the first meeting between Hayden Christensen and Hayden Panettiere, where he slowly says "In my country Hayden is a boy's name, eh" and she nods and smiles politely while trying to think of a reason to leave (1)
snapping teeth out of my jaw after a failed pass attempt (1)
Let me hear the sound you'd make if you were slashed in half by a sword (1)
not wanting to be a dick but also wanting to know who actually calls it Beef Burgundy, Beef bourguignon, boeuf bourguignon, or boeuf a la Bourguignonne, not boeuf a la duche de Bourgogne (1)
women in bikinis bring in donors by standing on a roadside with colorful cardboard signs or posters (1)
just kind of going "oh, that" (1)
cutting off a groin hourly (1)
the kid from Lazytown is a quarter of a century old (1)
replacing all vowels with o (1)
having a surfeit of lampreys in the bathroom at church (1)
I use my penis (1)
the way that people at Wikinews pretend like they're actually journalists (1)
you pay Miyagi (1)
When you turn the Trump Pence logo upside down, it literally looks like a handjob (1)
dat boi!!!! (1)
Afro Samurai (1)
delicious artisanal sandwiches (1)
thinking there should be some kind of porn where "Han shot first" is central to a scene by now (1)
which active actors have eaten the most cock in the past decade (1)
one user pretending to be Matt Damon, who has posted the words MATT DAMON (1)
wondering how the test went (1)
the dummies inside the phonebooth when it transits into the time circuits on Bill & Ted (1)
wondering, in the admittedly unlikely event that you should have kids, how you could possibly explain to them the crazy Summer of Ninety Nine in which the Matrix and All Star were at the top of their respective fields (1)
Donald Trump praises Scots for "taking back control of their country" by voting overwhelmingly to remain in the EU (1)
Dew Dork Tiggerwillies (1)
feeling like a potentially less effects heavy and more kid friendly X Man would be Miceman (1)
wondering what Bear Grylls spent so much money on that he still has to eat nutsacks (1)
that you should always eat balls in pairs (1)
All The President's Covfefe (1)
any hole's a gold (1)
I'm going to assume that you died (1)
Harold Pinter writing a harlequin play starring Hayden Panettiere licking HP sauce off of Harry Potter's hard penis (1)
wishing you were named Rob so that whenever you had sex with a woman you could shout "You just got Robbed!" (1)
rating the third and fifth installments of Home Alone as the best in terms of acting, the third and first as the most original in terms of story, the first and second the highest in terms of set piece violence and endearing self awareness, and the fourth (1)
secretly marrying someone who wakes up every night from nightmares (1)
Anonymous man seeks a missed connection from nineteenseventytwo on CigarSlits (1)
titter, the porno version of twitter (1)
my spoon is too big (1)
Bononian Rufa fellates Rufulus (1)
being a guy that thinks he's fly and is also known as a buster (1)
If you went back in time and told me that in the near future, one of the most nerd accessible directors would make an all female Ghostbusters reboot and it would become this bizarre hill to die on, I would have laughed it off (1)
not being able to believe it's not butter (1)
honestly thinking that most people brushed their teeth in more less the same way (1)
the Hogwarts Raping Hat (1)
Carrie Fisher sending regular anonymous parcels of sand to Hayden Christensen, just for laughs (1)
I, Zach Assymoth (1)
wondering how many unique words appear in Butthumping but not enough to bother counting (1)
V for Vladimir Putin (1)
having a sudden, weird flashback to the librarian in you (1)
getting mayonnaise all over your face (1)
The lady just looked at me, looked at my writing of mysterious formulae, and concluded I was up to no good (1)
wankin' at the car wash (1)
separating the men from the boys at a NAMBLA convention (1)
The Town That Got Fucked By Bears (1)
Donald Trump, Jr Says President Trump Would 'Get The Wall Started' in The First lOO Days (1)
getting blacklighted (1)
you die of unspecified illnesses (1)
no scrubs, no homo (1)
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly (1)
Martin Anus (1)
that's a helluva penis (1)
google just being one big fucking swan (1)
not remembering the time we established that Kento has an annual sodomy session with David Cameron, but not doubting it did occur (1)
Donald Trump's campaign slogan (1)
begged incest (1)
fuck marry kill, Will Smith, Robin Williams, Shaqille O'Neal, Barbara Eden (1)
the world is not a tangled knot of failure (1)
finding out that Richard Donner directed "Nightmare are Twenty Thousand Feet" (1)
fuck marry kill, Lauren Tom, Kiana Tom, Tom of Finland (1)
Assmeblers Take to Streets to Calm Tense Ukrainian City becoming ASSMEBLERS QUIET UNREST IN CITIES IN EAST UKRAINE after an article revision (1)
going bananas at a CE Ape gig (1)
wondering whether Kento got blown a lot last night, because rachel sure did (1)
smashing the canoptic jar containing Kento's penis, so that his spirit will be impotent in the afterlife (1)
The kind of situation when you are standing at a urinal looking like your doing something perverted because you can't find the opening to your underwear (1)
naming your raggy do (1)
I'm gonna call you Charlie Brown (1)
seeing the picture of David Jeffers and wondering how Adam Duritz and Tim Curry managed to keep their love child secret all these years (1)
porking Leonard Nimoy in Hobbit Hole VII (1)
my ass for my senior pictures (1)
this is the worst website ever (1)
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a blow job (1)
The Hurt Focker (1)
retiting early (1)
your might in the slit (1)
never having had a boyfriend, as you are a heterosexual male, although that doesn't explain why you've never had a girlfriend (1)
having beautiful breasts (1)
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's widow tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor (1)
wondering whether Home Alone III onward continued the trend in the first two of teaching young children that every creepy old person is actually really nice and has nothing but your best interests at heart (1)
Candide Thovex (1)
#feelparis (1)
putting a little false foreskin on your penis when you disguise yourself (1)
fold over glans (1)
fall over dongs (1)
looking at porn (1)
fuck marry kill, bustin', buskin', breastgasm (1)
that No Scrubs can basically be summed up as "poor people will die alone" (1)
wondering why Chris Lydon needs to raise money on kickstarter even though he has the money to maintain a harem of fat gay Asian sex slaves (1)
Ten Thousand Top Blondes (1)
how lame and folksy a lot of Guns n Roses sounds to your adult ears (1)
Waking up to dick pics and ugly faces, why do I talk to these people (1)
USA (1)
that "Kento" is actually a ten thousand year old Sumerian demon that prolongs its existence by possessing human hosts, gradually turning them overweight and socially retarded until they kill themselves, then moving on to a new host (1)
hand fuck railroad (1)
bride fancier's lament (1)
Transsexual Eliot (1)
I'm pretty sure you're going to be SUED into oblivion, in England (1)
dropping Dubai on London (1)
topping for Steve Harwell in Takin' the Back Streets VII (1)
getting gaslighted (1)
wellie wanging (1)
that wikipedia claims Eminem made extensive use of the feminine rhyme scheme in his early work, no homo (1)
that you do not believe that anything written about you on this website could shock you at this point (1)
twelfth of never on the sand (1)
The next thing I know, I'm on the floor and my arms are paralyzed (1)
seeing a meme showing a physical resemblance to Biff Tannen and wondering whether there was actually some kind of thing like that going on, like he went back in time and gave a copy of "New York Real Estate Trends of the Twentieth Century" to his grandfat (1)
the death on the set of Welsh Rape Caress I all but guaranteed the shelving of Welsh Rape Caress II (1)
damn, I've been maintaining my amateur status because I want to dog in the Olympics (1)
I thought you'd stopped that chopshop body mutilation stuff (1)
in for a penny, in for a pound (1)
having no idea what a klinoppe is (1)
wondering if Prince realized how rich he was (1)
u musak qt (1)
Easy D (1)
wondering why you would need orange socks (1)
fuck marry kill, Fatworld Jewel, Dickgirl Jewel, and John Carpenter's The Thing Jewel (1)
fuck marry kill, dead, asleep, dreaming (1)
drinking alone during the day (1)
tattooing PENIS on your penis (1)
wondering if it is still rape if you go back in time and prevent it from ever happening but retain the memory like in tv shows where they time travel (1)
drawing a picture of Uncle Phil taking the hugest dump on a pizza while Will goes Big Willie Style on the stuffed crust (1)
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy (1)
Fifty Plates of Jaffles (1)
she orders that coffee be boiled for five days, ready for their anniversary (1)
Carrie Fisher's dog Gary Fisher joined Instagram (1)
wondering what the Rapture's policy on implants and transplants is, like are there going to be a bunch of people whose organs get raptured and will there be silicone or saline in the afterworld (1)
Donald Trump, a billionaire son of New York City, did not make a single charitable donation to any of the not for profit groups that provided aid to survivors, rescue workers, or the families of cops and firemen who died trying to save others (1)
they're the worst (1)
eiffeltower dot com (1)
Billing Kento's Murrays (1)
fuck marry kill, FDR, JFK, LBJ (1)
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus (1)
Gary Glitter signs to produce soundtrack for Meaty Six Incher Colon The Jared Fogle Story (1)
Nens "Hasty" Chrideen, of the Great Empire of D'C'Naa, he (1)
hitting Big Jake (1)
Pokemon Lying Flat Against the Ground and Run Away Like a Little Bitch (1)
that the fifth Google result for "Bicoid Babe" is "Bicoid Babe's asshole fountain" (1)
your diet of verbal abuse and walrus spoff (1)
writing that fanfiction where Kento and Chris Lydon are captured and raped by hugecocked African savages and they have to fight their way out with machine guns and then they have butt sex (1)
monstrous pike (1)
Man Eats CCLV Peeps in V Minutes (1)
wondering if the listing of Avril Lavigne on Marilyn Manson's "associated acts" page is vandalism, or if they actually did collaborate on something (1)
His brother Khalid blew himself in the Brussels subway (1)
what list (1)
It's World Emoji Day! Teen girls, code an emoji that's unique like you (1)
Kim Jong nam really looking like the Asian Dom Deluise (1)
cushion for the pushin (1)
believing you can fly (1)
the moment you realize you're still closer to twenty than you are to sixty (1)
having literally never heard of Robert Irvine until just now, cheerio (1)
drawing a picture of Spiderman being Empire State Buildinged by Ayn Rand and Lord Byron (1)
Disco Fries (1)
Maple Fever (1)
Five Hospitalized After Tony Robbins Urges Them to Walk Over Hot Coals (1)
fuck marry kill, Kim Kardashian, Kim Cardassian, Nicolas Kim Coppola (1)
having an "oh shit, I could have just thrown this guy out the window twenty years ago" moment (1)
managing to miss picture day almost every year in high school, and not being in any clubs, so that you weren't really in your yearbooks at all (1)
You probably have herpes, the WHO says (1)
wondering if there is bad blood between John Goodfuck and Dong Goodman over who first had the idea of becoming a John Goodman parody gay porn star (1)
fuck marry kill, dickgirl Maya the Bee, Pedro Pony, Clifford the Big Red Dog (1)
giving me fever when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight (1)
Bathynomus giganteus (1)
accidentally befriending the neighborhood skunk, who now, when she sees you, bounds over to you cheerfully in an alarming way, although it's really quite cute (1)
not being able to stop Kento putting radiation in little retarded kids' gonads (1)
Bert Harvest just kind of crept in there (1)
that Kento's armor is Hardrock, and his Virtue is Gi (1)
piledriving (1)
blowing Miss Daisy (1)
not being a big gay guy (1)
Francesco Uttini (1)
wondering, and not for the first time, what the fuck is wrong with us (1)
Kento's golden ratio (1)
they ruin everything (1)
riddling Scots with Ridley Scott (1)
Terrorists caught in bikinis after performing bizarre midnight drag routine in the jungle (1)
not asking her out, and then regretting it for five fucking years, but in a lighthearted way (1)
National Orgasm Day (1)
wondering whether go around bragging to other girls about how deep their vaginas are (1)
the relentless progress of the spambot (1)
"terrible" China, "totally corrupt" Mexico, "a total mess big crime" Germany (1)
enjoying Patty Duke (1)
It was not clear if Team Clinton sought to publicize the photo to show Sanders, a champion of the working class, at an exclusive locale or if the goal was to circulate an unflattering picture of a septuagenarian in a swimsuit (1)
going into the future, seeing the apocalypse, going back in time and being turned into an Iron Man on the way, who can't then communicate what you have learned of the possible doom of the planet to the humans of the present day, so yo go mad and start cho (1)
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon (1)
wondering what a man's parents think when they find out he died being buttfucked by a horse (1)
Orly (1)
wondering whether Angel Colon is the gayest name possible (1)
wishing you had better computer skills so you could make a "Look at this Braff" Nickelback video (1)
windowless vans (1)
fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox's head on Jai Courtney's body, Jai Courtney's head on Courteney Cox's body, Courteney Cox except she has Jai Courtney's cock (1)
No Bollock S Club VII (1)
drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus, oy (1)
that whenever you hear talk of Danish lace you imagine this scene (1)
accidentally implying that Frank Sinatra had sex with his hot daughter (1)
fighting over territory with those ants (1)
in the winter time when the weather is low you still get drunk even on the road (1)
peg toodle pip pork, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig (1)
animatio, a blowjob from a puppet (1)
wondering if Home Alone IV is canon to adamDRIVER (1)
fuck marry kill, Kim Il sung, Kim Jong il, Kim Jong un (1)
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot (1)
glove in you is medical malpractice, making no fault damages payments is all I wanna do (1)
playing "Ebony and Ivory" on a grisly violinlike instrument whose strings are made from the penises of James Avery, Reginald VelJohnson, Ewan McGregor, and Liam Neeson, and which is played using a bow made from Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormli (1)
adopting a special needs child (1)
Utah judge calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'good man' (1)
the death of Gary Shandling (1)
feeling like you've really missed out on the smartphone era by not having sex and putting it in cloud storage like a normal person, but consoling yourself with the knowledge that some guy probably had a good look through your webcam without you knowing (1)
Some genius has finally invented vegan cola that doesn't taste like ape crotch (1)
I guess we'll both be spending a week whale watching (1)
excellent (1)
finding a charming map on wikipedia that appears to be a ten year old girl's social studies homework (1)
bottoming for Little Mix in Glory Holes (1)
fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan (1)
Annual Pony Rape Bout I (1)
the singer of the Pokemon Battle Frontier theme song sounding like Tom Petty (1)
Selling black puddings, a penny a pair (1)
giving a hand job to the Smoothie King on request (1)
the Mistake by the Lake (1)
polishing your award (1)
In snooker, swapping the cue from one hand to the other in order to gain easy access to an oblique shot was long thought to be disrespectful, though more recently it has come to be accepted, especially since Ronnie O'Sullivan has dominated the world game (1)
remembering rachel as being legitimately great and wondering how it could be that she's still hanging around the regret index so much after so many years when she could do better (1)
bottoming for a horse in A Horse and His Boy, Kento (1)
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse (1)
bird fancier's lung (1)
three dudes stone cold chillin' in a hot tub (1)
constructing a simulacrum of a nude Hulk Hogan using several large hams, a pile of loose straw, and a baby carrot (1)
the extreme danger of getting trichinosis from walrus meat (1)
he just joined the pony club (1)
going mad and starting cho (1)
helping your uncle jack off a horse (1)
knowing the Foreign Lydon wouldn't even ask (1)
telling Olive Garden you left all its crap in a box on the sidewalk on your smartphone, leaving out that you kept that sweater that still smells of Olive Garden's musk (1)
being the map (1)
posters in the amazing Regret Index may be older than they appear (1)
Birds can be drawn to the scent of plastic (1)
Mortal Kombat Two Colon Annihilation (1)
this freakin dog (1)
being followed on twitter by a guy named BLAZING HOMOSEX (1)
semen slander (1)
that apparently it's okay to photoshop dicks into the mouths of some women but not others (1)
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face bees (1)
sucking her left TWO until she had a breastgasm (1)
going to that Sausage Festival (1)
that Sambo Chuppers was a horrifying chimera of Sarah, Jimbo Wales, chubb d, and Brian Peppers (1)
wondering if Trump's entire presidency is just a huge scheme to clean up by gambling on the date of his impeachment (1)
fuck marry kill, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman (1)
fuck marry kill, Diane, Rebecca, Carla (1)
taking those Thanksgiving themed erotic photos of Kento wearing nothing but a pilgrim hat and a turkey drumstick covering his genitals (1)
that we're almost out of people born in the nineteenth century (1)
you're gonna miss me when I'm gone (1)
a landslide of Edward Snowden (1)
talking about cunnilingus while performing cunnilingus (1)
we're gonna build a walrus pool and make the walrus pay for it (1)
I and I gon give yuh dah axe, mon (1)
Matt Damon Says He Knew Harvey Weinstein Was a 'Womanizer,' Not a Predator (1)
this is now difficult to interpret (1)
wondering whether the abdominal pain you've been experiencing is a sign of Kentometriosis (1)
I am proud to be an NBA referee and I am proud to be a gay man (1)
fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds (1)
going for a four whore drive (1)
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian icons in the same way that Judy Garland, Cher, et al are icons for gay men (1)
okay there was one apparently (1)
anyway, if "fisting or being fisted by a Star Trek cast member" is on your bucket list, I'm pretty sure that Takei would oblige you either way (1)
Mr Bergstrom (1)
Twin Long Ronnies #Two (1)
An MEP from Denmark's centre right ruling party has defected in protest at government plans to seize valuables from refugees to help fund their stay in the country (1)
it's hard to grasp (1)
getting groped by a drunken dancing lady in her fifties whose face looks like a wrinkled leather couch (1)
Look but just wishing someone you showed interest in would and day show interest in you (1)
look at these cans (1)
Dipsy (1)
wanking to elderly porn, hi (1)
not fighting for the rights of other people to post video of you banging your friend's wife on the internet (1)
blithely singing "La Marseillaise" in the back of a squad car (1)
not being able to make things right (1)
having never seen any of the new Batman films because they came out after Star Wars Colon Episode II Colon The One That Made You Stop Wanting to Go to Movies (1)
being b b bread, bread to the bone (1)
drawing a picture of Kento sneaking into Arthur the Aardvark's bedroom late at night with rohypnol laced koolaid and a bunch of dildos (1)
this freakin horse (1)
really wishing somebody from the paralle universe where the Beatles Lord of the Rings movie was made would stop by and give a brief review because it sounds like it just might be the worst thing ever (1)
pitching an original sitcom in which Charles Martinet and Scott Baio play a prominently married couple who make a living playing traditional Mexican music, Mariochachi Band (1)
'The Movie Where Matt Damon Starves on Another Planet' Wins Comedy Award at Golden Globes (1)
The posting notes that the assailant was "bouta fight her," followed by several emojis indicating that a person was laughing so hard she was crying (1)
asking the genie for a tweve inch pianist and he gave you a twelve inch penis instead (1)
infested spring (1)
the fact that Gene Roddenberry is no longer alive to clarify the positions of Fictional Marina Sirtis's breasts (1)
wondering who the regretter with the large orange cat is (1)
that Demi Moore was thrice dominated for the MTV Movie Award for Most Desirable Female but lost all three times (1)
all those bad things we said about Bono a while back (1)
I cannot conceive of such a thing (1)
wondering if there is a pornstar called Transsexual Eliot (1)
the death of an eight year old child in Twickenham in MMXIII, who collided with a player of British bulldog while playing a different game (1)
going down on Julio down by the schoolyard (1)
a cum fart tsunami of Edward Snowden (1)
that it's really hard to hold those cups in your hooves (1)
who are you his mother (1)
hearing from the internet that a TNG reboot is in the works and not knowing what to believe (1)
I can call you daddy (1)
Lucy Liu kneads dough with boys at a reinsertion center in Goma, Democratic Republic of Congo (1)
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian (1)
finding a picture of Tim Duncan swimming with a beluga (1)
falling down the rabbit hole of youtube song mashups (1)
Surgeons create anus for girl born without one (1)
the tedium of a porno film you've never seen but already know the boners of the plot to (1)
seeing a photo on wikipedia and wanting to give it the alternate title of "The Evolution of Guys Who Hang Around Children's Playgrounds Too Much" (1)
wondering if Donald Trump has made all his necessary financial declarations for the presidential race yet or whether he's just trying to drive the discussion towards immigants before predictably bowing out (1)
fuck marry kill, Princess Madeleine, Tinky Winky, Steve Harwell (1)
Miley Cyrus is Full of Spunk (1)
winning Oasis (1)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Danica McKellar (1)
Kento's testicular mass (1)
having a cardboard booty (1)
wondering whether Sesame Street has dialed back Elmo since the Kevin Clash scandal (1)
being the hardest man in Ireland (1)
the Imgurian daguerreotype of the horny podcaster (1)
A raid is underway at Google's (1)
the player who walked in on two long rods (1)
imagining Her to be a female version of Him from Powerpuff Girls (1)
the idea that what we're doing right now is really remarkable or important just because, as far as we know, we haven't done it before (1)
getting yo dick rode all night (1)
getting Byron sauce all round your mouth and down your chin and a little bit on your thighs and some in your hair and a streak over your shoulder with some spattered on your xhest and a thick blob across the bridge of your nose you dirty bitch (1)
Han banged a Tim Burton heroine first (1)
spending an evening drinking Tropicana, watching Oz and the twentieth episode of season three of TNG for no reason (1)
fuck marry kill, Harambe, Binti Jua, Jambo (1)
wondering if anyone has actually tried some of the sex acts listed on Urban Dictionary (1)
that all the golden tickets went to white kids (1)
Steamed Hams but it's dubbed by the DK Rap (1)
not really NEEDING to fuck a midget on your deathbed, but wanting to (1)
a great and incredible unit of eight individual females brought together by common interests of wine, cheese, and dark chocolate among many other indulgences (1)
M Knight Shyamalan (1)
there's no escaping the chores of the alien this time (1)
hot dark matter (1)
wondering if you have ever won any Oscars (1)
peeling a penis (1)
Earthworms the size of a baby snake, weighing as much as a small mouse, have been discovered on the Isle of Rum (1)
fuck marry kill, Mahatma Gandhi, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi (1)
Luke Starmuncher (1)
you're the expert on that (1)
Oosos (1)
you awful, awful man (1)
eXXXteme edgy lesbian "that's what she said" jokes! (1)
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon, they look more like Leo DiCaprio (1)
being insistently told by a friend of a friend that you are a celebrity of some description and having to deny it over and over (1)
not lurking more (1)
Ki Adi Mundi (1)
Colon Trump, MD (1)
amusing yourself with terror and murder (1)
giving the chariot to Lucy Lui and Lucy Liu (1)
in sixth grade, hearing a story where some girl supposedly got her first period after taking a hot bath and having sex (1)
Iran Contraception (1)
snarfs TWICE your girth (1)
being raped by a midget (1)
bigger penis (1)
eating two huge slices of beef pizza (1)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (1)
gilding the lily (1)
noting that it seems that Kento and rachel often show up at the same time and suspecting once again that they are the same person (1)
a recut of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade which instead draws attention to Henry's abusive upbringing of his son with the exchange "We named the dog Indiana!" "You screwed the dog!" "I screwed you!", in the presence of some baffled and terrified Nazis (1)
laughing as you hew a rough wooden dildo for Mary Chapin Carpenter (1)
suspecting that all the spam comments are going to break the 'dex again (1)
look at this ass (1)
Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'faggots' (1)
viewing Cold War era scaremongering apocalypse porn with the same "I'm so glad I'm not dumb enough to fall for this" attitude as, say, Kirk Cameron's Colon Saving Christmas (1)
A gerbil has been found alive in the anus of an actor whose career burned down five years ago (1)
eating asparagus, then the hugest dump that smells exactly like asparagus (1)
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Penn Jillette and a camel (1)
castrating a bull before dinner (1)
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated (1)
Anne Hathaway beats the paparazzi to confirm pregnancy (1)
replicator meat (1)
The brawl continued backstage with Cool and Jesus eventually getting in a car and speeding out of Gund Arena (1)
sniffing markers (1)
homosexual father (1)
putting things directly in Squirrel Girl's ass (1)
having sex with a doll that looked a lot like Jonathan Taylor Thomas (1)
inexplicably weeping while touching a little girl down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain (1)
being a pregnant (1)
Luke McCarthy, XXVIII, is said to have made a woman drink his blood before sinking his teeth into her thigh (1)
the Pope's movie reviews are considered infallible (1)
blowing all the jabronis in the wrestling stable out of order (1)
that all the golden tickets went to white dogs (1)
Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump (1)
shooting your infant child into space (1)
considering writing "fuck marry kill, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica" and then realizing that it is the easiest answer ever (1)
liking your babies like you like your martinis, shaken (1)
Bono's dog can't get an erection (1)
fusing Jennifer Lawrence with Jennifer Garner (1)
not knowing what a thoul is (1)
I have a very plastic sex unit erection (1)
I don't want to being a mystery (1)
Kento, in a lime green thong, being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon in a lime green thong and a walrus in a lime green thong (1)
Meowth that's right! (1)
wondering how many people are walking around right now unaware that they have a bifurcated colon (1)
giving Kento feminine hygiene products for his birthday (1)
groping breasts (1)
Raccoon Tit Rape Inn (1)
figuring Ryan will drop by and nuke the comment database again at some point (1)
looking at pictures of naked ladies (1)
there ain't no way a stingray is gonna penetrate all that boob meat (1)
just now realizing that you probably could have just poisoned the tea that you gave Obi Wan and Qui Gon, which they eagerly and willingly drank without so much as sniffing it, rather than trying to gas them (1)
Mr Freeze (1)
Unreclusive Rapist has modified the restraint system on some of the seats to accommodate smaller guests (1)
getting a job as a Kento buggerer (1)
buying a push up bra for the first time (1)
Monchhichis (1)
A Butt's Life (1)
your body is a wonderland (1)
guessing that Peppa Pig just has Pedro Pony put it in her butt to avoid getting pregnant with some kind of equuporcine abomination (1)
doing Harambe eighteen months later (1)
wondering whether Trump was bragging or y'know actually bragging about shooting a man in the middle of fifth avenue (1)
kissing that boy in Ithaca (1)
reading comments on the internet anywhere, ever (1)
loving Canada (1)
Rick Astley is probably not going to be my best friend by Monday afternoon (1)
fuck marry kill, Taylor Hanson, Zac Hanson, Isaac Hanson (1)
Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eye are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye (1)
choosing Coldcock over Hawtnutz and Vagbush (1)
Wet Horny Annie declines to answer whether he still engages in sexting (1)
not being able to think of a better name for a gay porn star than "Vin Diesel" (1)
In order to reach such a size, you need to inject litres into your arm (1)
Operation Paperclip (1)
Go Ikeda, baculum (1)
forcing yourself too deep (1)
I came very close to writing that one (1)
for me it's always going to be NPor, closely followed by RSte and EJac (1)
wondering if you're going through all the old regrets one by one to learn the history of the 'dex (1)
Oliveira booted the teen out of the room they were sharing at the Olympic Village in Rio so she could enjoy a "marathon sex session" with Brazilian canoeist Pedro Goncalves (1)
seriously, we should unionize (1)
going round the twist (1)
Kim Kardashian West Had a 'Really Tough Birth' Because of Placenta Complications Colon Source (1)
Report Colon Stephen Fry to Fist Prince William with Gay Rights Petition at BAFTAs (1)
#fresherelfshitanalgate (1)
that the regret index is no longer powered by regret (1)
He was subjected to sadistic ragging and in the postmortem a large quantity of tooth paste was found in his rectum (1)
shaving a twelve inch gungan (1)
wanting to change every reference to Middle East in someone's website to Middle Earth (1)
never really understanding the appeal of Bill Murray (1)
incorrectly guessing Jonathan Avildsen to be a Stunt Man Actor rather than A Terrible Actor Whose Dad Directed The Movie (1)
damne (1)
might The stress Be With You (1)
Have Fun With Ants Now (1)
The Bee Movie trailer but every time Cher tweets the volume increases lOO% (1)
having at least three sphincters on your face (1)
groping beasts (1)
being too sexy for your car (1)
licking another man's genitals in a nonsexual way (1)
that Dexy's Midnight Runners has some really good words contained in it, including sex, dudes, girth, and Sting, but not having the energy to find a full anagram (1)
dat boi (1)
paddlin' the school canoe (1)
that christopher lydon is the most handsome man on the planet and you will never look like him when you're old (1)
David Dees (1)
feeling like you need to sleep with one eye open (1)
not choosing the vegan life (1)
getting a job at Kento Burger (1)
swans are metal (1)
trendsbianism (1)
wondering where that whole "eliminate liquid waste out of your genitals" thing came from (1)
you say that, but it really couldn't be further from the truth (1)
doing Dallas eighteen months later (1)
Quantum Rape (1)
stealing Paris Hilton's cake (1)
Kento requires full rectal reconstruction after being Eiffel Towered (1)
turtle ships (1)
honestly, fuck Sting (1)
hoping that the make a Pokemon based on the candiru (1)
wondering who'd win in a kangaroo semen drinking contest, Andrew Zimmern or Anthony Bourdain (1)
screwing everything up so badly (1)
Animals are crapping in our houses and we're picking it up! Did we lose a war (1)
talking about poop poop poop muzik (1)
regrets, perod (1)
seeing a skittles commercial where a woman kisses a walrus (1)
let who who has never sexually harassed and raped record breaking numbers of women over a span of four decades cast the first stone, amirite (1)
going crabbing in Sheepshead Bay (1)
Mr Barasch said the lab had shown that people were ready for cruel anal (1)
nobody WANTS to deep throat Stephen Fry (1)
wondering if Hey Jude is about Jude Law (1)
butt bustin' makes me feel good (1)
People got their local newspapers for next to nothing in exchange for allowing girdle ads to infiltrate their brains (1)
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