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The Guardian view on the grundle tube bomb colon keep calm and carry on
Playing for the Grundle Kings, Bokai began his career in the Major Leagues at shortstop, his rookie year being twenty fifteen
Grundle, Ontario
Grundle Calling
Grundle swings like a pendulum do
Comedians in Cars Getting Covfefe
covfefe with ethicists
Grundle Fashion Week
Grundle Underground
the UK but every reference to London is changed to Grundle
that the very idea of Time Travelling Hitler changing the future is considered ridiculous, indicating that Hitler has already begun his sinister machinations and nobody turned up to Stephen Hawking's party because Hitler already killed all the good guys
that ethicists worry about the implications of travelling back in time to assassinate Hitler, but nobody worries about Time Travelling Hitler coming forward to change the future to his own liking
wondering if you're criticising the new regrets one by one to stop the future of the 'dex, Hitler
Some LXXXVI% of cars are now bought on PCP
believing that Mshindi exists, and that he is a very good gorilla, but not believing that he was capable of preventing the death spiral of reality
fifteen months, we can either split the difference or watch me struggle on under the weight of a dead gorilla meme until the end of November
yeah it was forty nine times
forty nine times
bursting wursts in a Best Western
Fat Kid Mendoza
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recent comments

(2) wondering why big red dogs hold such great appeal for humans that, say, big red cats don't
(1) wondering if you're going through all the old regrets one by one to learn the history of the 'dex
(2) wondering why fat cats hold such great appeal for humans that, say, fat dogs don't
(1) peeling a penis
(2) sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm
(1) that Sambo Chuppers was a horrifying chimera of Sarah, Jimbo Wales, chubb d, and Brian Peppers
(2) that one of rachel's best friends is a moderately famous softcore lesbian movie star
(8) lining up a zinger about Rebecca Black and celebrity but having to concede that she's doin' OK
(2) hooking up with this girl l met on the internet
(2) having to cancel Thanksgiving at your house because you had hyperekplexia
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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
forgetting to feed your klinoppe (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
not having met ryan north (55)
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in a relationship (37)
that Kento's birthday passed a week ago and you didn't even have a chance to make him a sandwich (32)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (32)
still only seeing black, white, and blue (30)
the actress (29)
wondering whether the kids who are, say, three or four years old now will eventually develop their own interests or if they will be cursed to be nothing but proxies for their dumbass manchild fathers' lost youth and be doomed to like Star Wars for eternit (26)
opening new cider (25)
meeting Brian Peppers (21)
that we can post actual imgur links to comments now (20)
wondering what question you want to ask (19)
wondering what it is that you do (19)
moralmachine dot mit dot edu (17)
imagining the images on an amazing Regret Index calendar and then throwing up in your mouth a little bit (17)
She neglects to mention that her grandson's withered, inbred cock lacked the power to successfully impregnate a woman naturally (16)
saying that name, you know the one, three times (15)
wondering whether you've entered some kind of "Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Perform Cunnilingus on Her!" contest or something (15)
Kento (14)
President Housekeeping, starring Hulk Hogan (13)
being cancelled with a mild but acceptable cliffhanger, then being brought back through the efforts of your fans and to show your thanks, giving said fans an even more frustrating cliffhanger in a bid for more episodes which obviously won't be made (13)
firing a gullet pun indiscriminately at seagulls (12)
cutting off your long hair (12)
For political reasons, the classification of "honorary white" was granted to immigrants from Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, countries with which South Africa maintained diplomatic and economic relations, and to their descendants (12)
getting a tattoo of a woman fellating a horse on your hip (12)
that, okay, to be honest your natural reaction to any kind of interaction initiated by the opposite sex is to consider forming a crush on them (12)
not being able to finish anything you've ever started (12)
trying to befriend a Regret Index user (11)
wondering what happened to YOU to make you hat the french so much (11)
having a hell of a dream (11)
that the comments here came back (10)
wondering what the other three countries you've lived in are (10)
I'm the stranger thrilling an A bra (10)
really needing to get around to peeing in Kento's face (10)
wondering if it is possible to grab your own head and rip it off (10)
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to switch hands while masturbating (10)
having sex with Oasis (10)
forgetting sarah marshall (10)
falling into that nest of gungans (9)
wondering whether you would rather have your penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time you get an erection (9)
what you do for a living (9)
thinking of starting dating again (9)
wondering why you want to bang a Katie all of a sudden, anyway (9)
what some people jack off to (9)
wondering if you wrote the comment on two two seven oh one (9)
seeing a car with HOO on the license plate and feathers on the mirror (9)
deleting your MyFace tweet account book (8)
making a neutral face (8)
not having any self esteem (8)
wishing that each wikipedia page had a view count on it, because you really want to know how many people have needed information on, say, "Benin at the twenty twelve Summer Paralympics" (8)
drawing a picture of a female human of indeterminate age with an ass like a ten year old boy having her buttocks spray painted teal by Pikachu and Weedle (8)
it's still better than having him sucking on your left one until you have a breastgasm (8)
that you were honestly kind of relieved when it looked like the regret index was broken because it meant you didn't have to think about things like Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's head any more (8)
lining up a zinger about Rebecca Black and celebrity but having to concede that she's doin' OK (8)
checking this site after many, many years (8)
not going all the way (8)
discovering the depths of your personality and finding out which movie star could play you! (8)
remembering that scend in Pokemon where Ash kisses that Latias in human form, and thinking that's probably Kento's best bet (8)
Jeb Bush Would Time Travel and Kill Baby Hitler If Given the Chance (8)
trying to think of someone with a more punchable face than Matt Damon (8)
wondering who Tabitha on regret two zero six eight was and how she found the index (7)
wondering if using pinto or black beans in chili will make it taste any different than chili with kidney beans (7)
I already have one, I'm not even using it, would you like it (7)
#piggate (7)
wondering which you would choose given the option of either speed dating everyone on your Celebrity Bang List with the ability to mix and match, or cruising around on a luxury yacht all day with no more than ten of them (7)
wondering which you would choose, to be a lesbian with a penis or a straight man with a vagina (7)
genuinely not understanding the appeal of Katy Perry (7)
Luke never even asks about his mother (7)
wondering which will come first, reaching one hundred thousand regrets or Kento having sex (7)
really having no interest in professionally produced porn (7)
wondering where the line between porn film and birthing video lies (7)
Will Smith's ability to read insipid rapes from a script in a way that almost sounds like he cares (7)
have you already started (7)
that you would gobble up Alice Eve if you were not in a relationship (7)
not being Kento (7)
constantly eating from a bag of lollies and being unable to stop (7)
Your comment must be in English or it will be removed (7)
this guy right here (7)
that a pretty brunette girl, late teens, stranded on the beach, wearing a becoming bikini bottom, flip flops and sweatshirt, to whom you lent your cell phone to call for a ride, smiled up winningly at you, batted her long lashes, then thanked you as "Sir" (6)
shitting in her mouth (6)
wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you (6)
Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Perform Urolagnia on Her! (6)
wondering if there is a glory hole equivalent for butt stuff where you just jam your cheeks up against a dinner plate sized hole and wait for people to come and do stuff to you (6)
do you have a plan or do you just like to watch me like a zoo animal (6)
throwing a coin which inadvertently smashed the rear windshield of my teacher's car, btw kinetic energy is a bitch, and got me suspended (6)
using the screen name "black guy plus white girl equals hot" (6)
wondering what a half centaur would look like (6)
the death of Richard Bonehill (6)
fuck marry kill, a shoe, a pony, a carrot (6)
Toblerone is facing a mountain of criticism for changing the shape of its famous triangular candy bars in British stores, a move it blames on rising costs (6)
playing Entry of the Gladiators over the Republican National Convention coverage (6)
not asking her out again, when she would have said yes the second time (6)
not having anything against Cameron Diaz but seriously wondering how she became the highest grossing actress in US box office history (6)
not helping an older woman down the steps (6)
we should watch Daredevil for the next liveregret (6)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (6)
that you actually got one of those smoking gun quizzes right (6)
Rob Schneider doesn't count (6)
Theresa May bragged about Britain being world's fifth largest economy, After her speech, it dropped to sixth (6)
fuck marry kill, a Vulcan, a Klingon, a Romulan (6)
will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe (6)
wondering whether you would rather have sex with Donald Trump whose brain has been replaced with that of a duck, or a hideous chimeric fusion of David Cameron and Cameron Diaz (5)
suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop spitting in her asshole (5)
I was alive in nineteen eighty three (5)
all the people not in a relationship banging Jewel's boobs (5)
that twenty sixteen saw nearly a forty percent drop in regret productivity compared to the record breaking performance we put up in twenty fifteen (5)
not really understanding the logic of an organization that is going out of its way to make every nation on the planet with nuclear weapons pissed off at them (5)
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters (5)
any smooth bottom intersted into top muscle pm me (5)
fuck marry kill, the Rat Pack, the Brat Pack, the Frat Pack (5)
I get called by a guy that can't buy a pair of pants, I get called names (5)
wondering if there even is a constitutional method for determining the presidency if the president elect and vice president refuse to be sworn in at all (5)
eating moldy chocolate (5)
Lol no one ever (5)
trying to watch Open Windows but thinking you might turn it off because you've never seen a Sasha Grey film before and you're not really in the mood for double anal (5)
SCP Six Nine Six Nine Colon Nicki Minaj's dildo microphone (5)
Peppa Meets Oasis (5)
that you'd like to connect in an incredibly egotistical way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence because nobody buys your narcissistic bullshit (5)
going into puberty (5)
having had the theme from Junior Kick Start stuck in your head for a couple of years now (5)
El Coca and teen rape are stronger than any dispute (5)
fmk, JLH, SMG, JTT (5)
happy new year (5)
guessing that you say The Karate Kid II once like maybe the year it came out (5)
getting your first cavity in your thirties (5)
Collingwood Art Dolls (5)
the random regret generator is giving you blank regrets to vote on (5)
genuinely not understanding the appeal of Russell Brand (5)
that even old New York was once New Amsterdam (5)
I would bust that tight pASTERISKASTERISKASTERISKy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week (5)
The entire Bee Movie except every time someone says bee it cuts to that person or bee peeing in Kento's face (5)
As part of the Wiggles, Fatt became one of the "most popular Asian performers in the world" (5)
that movies would probably be ten times shorter if the characters didn't do something stupid once in a while (5)
possible snuff dvds (5)
wondering how important it is to your crossover fanfic (5)
reading an article reviewing books that discuss the contributions women made to science, seeing the sentence "It takes just over eight seconds for sunlight to reach the Earth" in the first paragraph and thinking, naw, I'm not gonna read this (5)
Debbie Snakez Her Bathtub Drain (5)
being told you are infrequently vile by the BBC (5)
being resigned to urine, Eminem, death (5)
British government pooh poohs winning 'Boaty McBoatface' name for ship (5)
we all need somebody to ream on (5)
face ass take on, The British Bulldog, Darth Vader, Kento (5)
fuck marry kill, Prince's left half stitched to David Bowie's right half, a chimera with Alan Thicke's limbs and head attached to Alan Rickman's body, Kenny Baker with Kimbo Slice's genitals (5)
I'm going to call you Simon from now on (5)
fuck marry kill, the father, the son, the holy ghost (5)
discovering you were blocked by someone you respect on social media, but having no idea when or why this happened (5)
wandering around Mevagissey eating ice cream (5)
Number One Will SHOCK You! (5)
being glad that Kento liked your regret about electroplating pennies (5)
Colon cells have it rough colon They die off after about four days (5)
I wanna take my time stroking you, baby, if you don't mind (5)
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen (5)
finally sewing up that hole in your pocket, if you know what I mean (5)
meetgraham dot com dot au (4)
Big Fucking Gonads (4)
how much of a pain in the ass it is to have to rent nineteen buses (4)
having garlicky fingers (4)
girl on girl sex during POST PARTUM PSYCHOSIS (4)
that you like your women like you like your coffee, male (4)
fuck marry kill, eighteen year old Kento, twenty eight year old Kento, thirty eight year old Kento (4)
we're buddies (4)
Category colon Ash dick infection (4)
getting involved with me (4)
I'm really sorry about that, we really should have dealt with this by now (4)
the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be (4)
saving the life of a unmarried teen mother at the expense of two wealth creating cats (4)
sleeping in the same bed as a dog (4)
I was young, I needed the money (4)
Slash's Blues Ball (4)
having worked with Cambridge undergraduates and graduates for protracted periods and being honestly able to say they aren't as a cohort notably intelligent, just focused on their usually narrow special interests, and expecting the same is true of Harvard (4)
the death of Amy Johnson (4)
eating breakfast at ten pm (4)
that other people's ways of brushing their teeth are fucking weird (4)
wondering how many unique words appear in Tubthumping but not enough to bother counting (4)
another sad and lonely christmas (4)
it's also possible that I might just change my mind one day for no real reason (4)
getting the regret "all of these stupid regrets" but not having a Sometimes button (4)
fuck marry kill, the Four Tops, Four Non Blondes, Ten Thousand Maniacs (4)
that if you fuck Kento the only option is to kill yourself (4)
going to the mall and seeing a ten foot high poster for The Huntsman Colon Winter's War that had a huge picture of Liam Gallagher or whatever the fuck the name of the star is, and his "armor" appeared to be made of the same leather as women's purses (4)
I know, I voted for them (4)
the murder of Lena al Qasem (4)
something ribald (4)
High Elves (4)
After she sent him a cartoon image of a pump bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues, he responded with a graphic, homemade text and emoji image of an ejaculating penis (4)
wondering what the official butt rape tune of the Trump campaign is (4)
Siberian tits (4)
Oscar asking if he can show you his cock (4)
that Rachel was always your favourite F#R#I#E#N#D# but maybe this was because by the time you realised what a colossal wishy washy bitch she was she'd got knocked up and basically assumed some kind of personality, while Monica was actively becoming worse (4)
Donald Trump's lawyers have argued that protesters "have no right" to "express dissenting views" at his campaign rallies because it infringes on the US President's First Amendment rights (4)
using a cherry stoner to take the cherry stone from a cherry, then observing the ragged and gaping red stained canal between the fresh, pert contours of the cherry's lower end (4)
naming your daughter Rooney (4)
Man Cheats Credit Score (4)
that would depend on the size of the glass and the concentration of the pee (4)
the regulars using regret number one seven five two five two message each other (4)
Inflation does not exist in real life (4)
being freaked out that there's a help wanted sign in the deli window, which is let's face it a new patheticism even for someone as easily freaked out as yourself (4)
the painful knowledge that you are too old and out of shape for Natalie Portman to want to bang you, and you probably always were (4)
crying while listening to Agadoo (4)
that i deleted all the spam comments, hah hah hah OH WELL (4)
Nuclear Man (4)
A teenager with teleportation abilities suddenly finds himself in the middle of an ancient war between those like him and their sworn annihilators (4)
mimel noara (4)
when I tell everyone that you're in love with me (4)
Ugh I just, I love her, but I get so sick of her sometimes too (4)
kind of wishing that Ryan would give one of us administrator privileges so we can get rid of the spam comments (4)
that you can apparently get a pizza thap cam cao cap for one hundred and nine thousand dongs in Vietnam (4)
Pokemon Life As a House and Star Wars (4)
having redundant sexual organs (4)
you've taken me for granted because I please you (4)
they DO move in herds! (4)
I enjoy having sex with people I hardly know (4)
but apparently you hate that (4)
kicking me in my heart (4)
Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump (4)
wondering how frequently the Pope or the Dalai Lama or people like that jack off (4)
making it with a redhaired girl in a Chevrolet (4)
fuck marry kill, Courtney Cox, Brian Cox, and Myke Hawke (4)
The American popstar Madonna agrees on a settlement with her former consort Guy Ritchie over their heir (4)
this dumb motherfucker would lose your house keys, burn down your apartment, then try to sneak off and fingerbang your stepdaughter (4)
that female porn stars usually have faces well below average (4)
licking Brian Peppers's pecker (4)
yo mama so tall when she jump in the sky it hit jesus' balls (4)
wondering why necrophilia has such a taboo against it, considering that it is symbolic of the circle of life, evocative of planting a seed in lifeless soil (4)
entering too soon (4)
the recurrent concern that one day, someone we talk about, other than Kento because honestly, Kento, amirite, will turn up and there'll be this long terrible discussion about them on the front page (4)
being dickrolled, if you know what I mean (4)
Double Penetration Edged Sword in the Lodestone Cold Filtered Hand Ground Slow Roasted Traditionally Poured and Puddled Adobe Flash!!! Aaahh!!! Real Hot Dirty Pocket Pool Monsters (4)
snapping tendons in my hand after a failed dunk attempt (4)
having never seen The Karate Dog, or any of the sequels, or the remake (4)
guessing that if the first page of google results for your name contains more than one video of you getting double penetrated, saying that you went through some "rough times" is probably insufficient (4)
Kento's anus (4)
sometimes I know your heart is full of troll waiters (3)
def twins homo menage (3)
wondering why the call those orange fish "goldfish" (3)
wondering what Norbit was like in Fatworld (3)
I don't think you really count as my significant other, we've never even met (3)
wondering how anyone was able to feel anything at all given the epic amounts of alcohol and cocaine that must have preceded those couplings (3)
this freakin guy (3)
I am hardly a suing person, and yet that just got my goat (3)
why'd YOU move to France (3)
Teresa Heinz Kerry is totally going to sue us in England (3)
drawing a picture of Kento screaming "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL AQUATIC MAMMALIAN SEXUAL PARTNER!" at a hippo and being told to go to his room by Chris Lydon (3)
smells like wine (3)
rape (3)
being perceived as a joke (3)
fuck marry kill, Adam Duritz, Adam Levine, Adam Ant (3)
Anonymous man seeks a missed connection from nineteenseventytwo on Craigslist (3)
fuck marry kill, Ash, Brock, Misty (3)
I ain't afraid of no sleepin' (3)
being froward (3)
fuck marry kill, Kento, Brian Peppers, Sylvia Browne (3)
burning Sean Penn (3)
that everyone keeps invoking a divorce analogy for Brexit, and you wish they would use something more appropriate, like, say, two dogs gradually decoupling after the knotting subsides (3)
masturbating during Schindler's List (3)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with a severed penis (3)
Currently, the phrase 'Brit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British actors and actresses of rising prominence (3)
declaring martial law (3)
that Sandra Bullock is the female Jude Law (3)
hoping it's not "fist or be fisted by a Star Trek cast member" (3)
not actually knowing what happens with menstruation in Star Trek, like is there a magical pill you take and it just stops or what (3)
wondering how much the tabloids would pay for a Guy Fieri Steve Harwell sex tape (3)
holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room (3)
Jasmine (3)
bottoming for R Kelley in I Believe I Will Cut You If You Don't Stop Struggling VII (3)
wondering what they call a sixty nine year jubilee (3)
sex predators (3)
holding the lime (3)
getting your fist sex girl rants, sir, buying them at the five and dime (3)
sucking more than a cowboy's horse (3)
that you love the Regret Index but it makes you so regretful (3)
incendio (3)
The pants were meant to say 'animal' but due to a factory error had the word 'anal' on them in large print, just above her bottom (3)
Raydiation (3)
Disney guessing how old you are (3)
special effects in Eighties propaganda movies (3)
Canada gurls, we're unforgettable, moccasins, campaign hat on top, clammy skin so pale we'll melt your Kraft Dinner, oooooh oh oooooh (3)
fuck marry kill, Garfield, Bob Geldof, the Bangles (3)
considering building a time machine in order to travel back in time and bang Lea Thompson but then realizing her daughter is way hotter (3)
fuck marry kill, only weirdly cropped, pitchbent Family Guy clips in your YouTube suggestions forever no matter what you do, blowing a guy but he jizzes diamonds & you get to keep the diamonds, spooning Jewel's boobs but also having to spoon Rob Schneider (3)
Polanski guessing how old you are (3)
your body is a Disneyland (3)
drawing a picture of a group of homosexual tearful Texans pulling down their pants after seeing Kento cross the border (3)
running on childrens panties time (3)
Xragb (3)
Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Love Her! (3)
that the reboot slash remake of the first Harry Potter movie is expected to be out by twenty sixteen (3)
Jeri Ryan Seven of Nine's Breast Expansion Star Trek Voyager (3)
guessing that it's intended to highlight how little certain sections of the voting public actually understand of the geopolitics they profess to have solid opinions on (3)
the new episodes of Lasagna Cat (3)
shaving my head for this (3)
not really having anything useful to say to people in times of stress, but feeling the need to say something and consequently making a lot of low grade sexual jokes (3)
Kento needs to be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine, whenever Kento is not being posted about, all the other posters need to be asking "where's Kento" (3)
confusing Jennifer Lawrence with Jennifer Garner (3)
if there were a John Astin Elly Jackson sex tape, I'd literally pay money to see it (3)
how the Grinch stole the US Federal Gold Reserve, over two hundred police and national guard dead, a nation mourns (3)
having seen screencaps of Pamela Adlon's nude scene and knowing that if you ever actually saw the video, with sound, you would probably want to kill yourself (3)
doing Dallas (3)
the death of Chris Lydon (3)
Kate Upton losing her extremities to frostbite (3)
that time you tried making Kento a wedding cake for his birthday and it all ended in tears (3)
flying back to Kodiak tomorrow and knowing that your family is going to make you go and see Star Wars (3)
that I wasn't shaved by any midgets, I found out that something that happened to me is also part of the plot of a movie made at the time it happened (3)
wondering if the Foreign Legion would have you (3)
that the concept of telepathy and telekinesis is so common in science fiction, even science fiction of the "harder" sort, yet there is absolutely no mechanic outside of pseudoscience to explain how they function (3)
there's seven inches of snow outside, so i'm thinking of making some chocolate chip cookies for my roommates and i (3)
that you will probably not live for very much longer (3)
liking your sex like you like your congress, stilted, formal, and culminating in a bill (3)
breakdowns come and breakdowns go (3)
thinking that butt chugging was the domain of dumbass frat guys, but realizing that it is actually probably practiced more often by the hopelessly alcoholic (3)
inimically toothy sex ho (3)
Pennsylvania Dutch rudders, English (3)
mashing the sack on a table with a hammer, BAMBAMBAM (3)
pink mutt pubes (3)
that you, a sado polyamorist, have bondage, latex, and wam fetishes and tied your significant others up in catsuits then whipped them viciously while a slave poured gallons of thick gloopy translucent or opaque messy substances on them (3)
applying for a job at Playboy (3)
that whenever you hear talk of Iceland ash you imagine this scene (3)
rating my poo (3)
wondering if you have any great recipes for TOMATOES (3)
it gives a woman the firm fanny of a twelve year old (3)
Fifteen Surprising Celebs Who Are Jerks In Real Life (3)
drawing a picture of the full roster of the San Antonio Spurs releasing their full morning bladders onto Kento (3)
not being able to remember his name, thus being forced to refer to Andrew Zimmern as "that guy who eats horse cock" (3)
constantly cumming in Constance Cummings (3)
that whenever someone uses the word "bang" in the sexual sense, you think of this video (3)
Bicoid Fetus shits water being frightened (3)
jokes that are either Kento or Woodsy Alan (3)
Roman Polanski winning the Teens Don't Have a Choice Lifetime Achievement Award (3)
using the word "waffletastic" (3)
two grown men fixating on a teenage boy who runs a topiary store with the older man he lives alone with, a boy who can't seem to get a steady girlfriend despite pretty girls throwing themselves at him (3)
Woman Who Urinates on Herself (3)
becumming Tom Petty (3)
that you are this close to adopting a child (3)
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, cheerio (3)
darning your socks, what are you, French (3)
on the Snopes of Mount Doom (3)
wondering what did happen to that guy Daniel punched in the face (3)
that the Regret Index is where nerdy adults running out of youth and optimism come to act like teenagers on the internet (3)
gonopores (3)
wondering what kind of contract you made with Will Smith (3)
yeah, that's what I mean, people are basically just filming porn with a three sixty camera and playing it on an oculus rift, but when are we going to get the actual fully interactive stuff with maybe a crotchpiece or something (3)
not getting your nice shoes cleaned after the orgy (3)
from the directors of the Matrix and nothing else worth mentioning (3)
fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, Mrs Jones, Stacey's mom (3)
that the NYC police used to famously extort more money in fines from prisoner by posting "PLEASE DO NOT EXPECTORATE" signs all over the cells, a word spitting Irish toughs couldn't possibly be expected to know (3)
tasting your own semen 'to hike jew slut tits sea' (3)
Kento's testicular volume (3)
watching Prometheus (3)
that apparently performing cunnlingus on Kat Dennings would require watching BOTH Thor movies, which is a commitment I'd rather not make (3)
wondering whether you would rather Eiffel Tower David Cameron with dickgirl Rachel Stevens, or be Eiffel Towered by dickgirls Cameron Diaz and Rachel Stevens (3)
Donald Trump wants to build a wall on the Mexican border and based on his tone he also wants to fuck that wall (3)
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus (3)
reading a crap book about ready made Hebrews (3)
UK national sperm bank has just nine donors (3)
hearing about those horse meat infused burgers being sold in the UK, and becoming curious about how horse tastes (3)
Kim Kardashian eating her son after son's birth (3)
being that chicken flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like chicken (3)
fuck marry kill, Joey, Ross, Chandler (3)
having a one night stand with a guy who makes you call him Mr Bubble (3)
seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years (3)
catfish (3)
I don't think that's going to make the deli girl like you (3)
this guy (3)
Newquay gran 'disgusted' after seeing man perform sex act using campervan towbar (3)
tell me your skype (3)
jerking off with a crusty semen stained sock up your butt (3)
Could any man really satisfy a woman sexually, if her most recent lover had been Sean Connery (3)
demanding respect from a machine (2)
wondering why big red dogs hold such great appeal for humans that, say, big red cats don't (2)
hey guys, remember the Scissor Sisters (2)
the man, the legend (2)
suggesting the Karate Kid series for your next movie binge, because The Karate Kid III is one of the greatest movies of all time (2)
being allowed to choose five celebrities you're allowed to fuck when there were only four Golden Girls (2)
i imgur com oneZuIsixmz jpg (2)
telling the potatoes joke (2)
Rick Moranis (2)
SPOILER ALERT Kento dies after getting Eiffel Towered by Lex Luthor and the Death Star (2)
love cuts just like a knife (2)
Thirty Nine Percent Of Americans Shower In The Pee (2)
that you vow that from now on you will not write any sexual regrets about Kento (2)
that a year from now, the Regret Index will just be a couple of idiots snickering about pornstar names over and over, plus ca change (2)
being c%l (2)
this is a California Cheeseburger (2)
star whackers (2)
Music From Another Room is a romantic comedy that follows the exploits of Danny, a young man who grew up believing he was destined to marry the girl he helped deliver as a five year old boy when his mother's best friend went into emergency labor (2)
Child found dead in Fenton colon Woman arrested (2)
Scientists Bust Myth That Our Bodies Have More Bacteria Than Human Cells (2)
that you would like your corpse to be partially dried, sealed in some type of resin, then popped like popcorn (2)
Significant works of Rene Auberjonois are on public display at the Aargauer Kunsthaus, the Kunstmuseum Basel, the Cantonal Museum of Fine Arts in Lausanne, the Kunsthaus Zurich and the Werner Coninx Stiftung (2)
wondering who we should get to play the President in our Hand Job Robot Apocalypse movie (2)
that a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm, prompting the bartender to ask "cash or charge" regarding the duck's payment method, to which the duck responds "just put it on my bill" (2)
everybody is out of my league (2)
I use my anus (2)
shooting day for night (2)
she was tearing your teeth out with puckish glee and her inhumanly strong fingers the whole time (2)
never getting around to building that sex dungeon (2)
Sixty One Percent Of Americans Pee In The Shower (2)
old speckled hen (2)
when did we get like this (2)
guessing that the broad premise of Holy Hal is that a three hundred pound man falls in love with a three hundred pound woman, but he sees her as a nine hundred pound woman and helps her achieve those gains (2)
#walrusgate (2)
After many years of silence, around the same time as the Fifth Holy Grail War would have happened, the Yggdmillennia, a family of magi, openly declares their secession from the Mage's Association, and that they are in possession of the Grail (2)
hi, I'm Bleached Kodyak, nice to meet you (2)
helping your uncle jack put on a donkey show, with a matinee on saturdays and sundays and wednesdays too in the high season (2)
provocative and emotional pokemon (2)
Any candidate for the presidential election in the United States of America is welcome to receive a briefing from the Met Police on the reality of policing London (2)
defending your brazier from Brendan Frasier (2)
wondering how a kid could possibly earn pesos (2)
wondering what the worst thing anybody has ever written is (2)
taking a photograph of Donald Trump blowing Bill Clinton while Prince Andrew watches from a palm tree and masturbates (2)
what's going to happen is they will come to their senses, and we will all be just fine (2)
the Houston Gamblers (2)
wondering whether you would rather have a bisexual fourway with a wookiee, another guy and Princess Leia in a garbage masher on the detention level or get banged by Dickgirl Padme in the middle of the Dune Sea, without a reacharound (2)
Drill My Gay Stepson! (2)
trying to give a Regret Index user a hot brown sandwich in the communal laundry room (2)
PokeMunchers (2)
Bonobono (2)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Doll Ritchie (2)
special colon contributions (2)
HP is short for Hard Penis (2)
holding the line (2)
your son gleefully jacking off Jackie Gleason (2)
Kenchel (2)
milk of amnesia (2)
not having peed on Kento's face yet (2)
fuck marry kill, fatworld Ellie Jackson, dickgirl Rachel Stevens, hirsute Emma Watson (2)
fuck marry kill, Bob McKenzie, Doug McKenzie, Hayden Christensen (2)
facefucking Kento (2)
registering 'my dick is ten inches long' as a trademark (2)
wondering why one's true love would give one eight maids a milking and a shit ton of birds, but no mammals for the maids to milk (2)
not really believing a highly paid clinical diagnostician of a prestgious teaching hospital would get home from a psychiatric institionalization on the freakin' bus (2)
wanting to double check with your low key girlfriend from when you were sixteen that she did not in fact get pregnant and never tell you, because maybe being a deadbeat absent dad is better than being forever alone (2)
cuties (2)
taking the hugest dump (2)
shaving my legs for this (2)
Anti Defamation League Declares Pepe the Frog Shit (2)
voting yes or no on this regret (2)
Chloe tho (2)
Werewolf Colon The Apocalypse (2)
fuck marry kill, Jewel with poisonous breasts that lactate acid when she gets excited, Emma Watson but naked she's like a Barbie with no genitalia and weird articulation points, young Julie Newmar but you're a child and she's a pedophile who abuses you (2)
that there is an alarming level of Scooby Doo related pornographic fanart out there, and sure you can say that about anything, but Scooby Doo seems to lend itself particularly well to the fantasies of perverts for some reason (2)
ignoring other people's feelings (2)
punching Sister Beech (2)
seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactical upsets (2)
Pregnant Women Warned to Stay Away From Big Willie (2)
I happen to like eight year old boys (2)
Chris Lydon Grabs Kento's Crotch in Attempt to Show Paparazzo What He Really Thinks (2)
incautiously falling for a witch (2)
privatizing Ryan's privates (2)
they travel in herds (2)
Margaret Hilda Thatcher's thick carpet of pubes (2)
Not having anyone to send a sexy snapchat to even though you feel capable of taking one of yourself for the first time in your sad life (2)
Now turn around bitch, put that ass on a nigga, grind on his dick make it get a little bigger (2)
I have had a golden shower before from a woman and it burned my eyes (2)
wondering if they called her Jackie O because she was really good at hand jobs (2)
guessing that at some point the Old Republic had an extreme State's Rights faction take power and basically gut the executive branch (2)
Winona Ryder is an American actress, most famous for her roles in Beetlejuice, Dracula, and The Crucible (2)
losing your dinosaur at a Virginity Jr concert (2)
fuck marry kill, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Bill the Pony (2)
what you did to that hobo under the bridge (2)
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast Patrick Stewart as a Frenchman (2)
fuck marry kill, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle (2)
that you like your women like you like your coffee,, black (2)
saying "I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy do I have a lot of hair in my mouth!" as a joke thinking the "hair in my mouth" would make people come to the comedic realization that you were licking a cat, totally forgetting vulvae have hair too, oops (2)
typical Lancastrian (2)
wanting to give Kento a butterfinger for his birthday (2)
Pennsylvania Court Says Alien Romps Aren't Public Records (2)
they aren't booing, they're saying "Boo ernie!" (2)
fuck marry kill, Winona Ryder, Ariel Winter, Jewel (2)
fuck marry kill, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Bill from Kill Bill (2)
wondering where the plot of Firefly would have gone if it had survived longer as a series, instead of being canceled and resurrected as a movie (2)
Elmo porn (2)
fuck marry kill, Cheers, Wings, Frasier (2)
the two ingredients of squirming babies (2)
fuck marry kill LaVar Ball, Lucille Ball, Ed Balls (2)
Salmon milk comes from the males (2)
you should legally change your middle name to something really British like Crumpet or Boris or Benny Hill or something (2)
sleeping in the same bed as dago (2)
learning just now that there's just one d in sodomizing (2)
wondering if it's too late to keep Alicia Silverstone in a curio cabinet so that you may marvel at her at your own leisure (2)
ICheckRaise (2)
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the bigger picture (2)
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of frozen walrus semen on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly (2)
wondering if Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson ever considered naming his daughter Dog Paper (2)
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her absence (2)
having to cancel Thanksgiving at your house because you had hyperekplexia (2)
thinking that if Kento had hands that were just a little bit smaller, he would make a great "bottom" gay porn star (2)
thinking that if Kento ever snaps and does something terrible to other people instead of just himself, Ryan would hand over our IP addresses in a heartbeat (2)
basically the first Matrix was kind of OK hokum, then the two sequels were showy garbage that drew heavily on Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's technology and probably reference a whole bunch of shit I don't care about (2)
elbowing the president in the face (2)
doing it without lubrication (2)
the death of Garry Marshall (2)
Home Alone The Return of the Wet Bandits establishing higher production values and a more convincing plot than Home Alone IV just thirty seconds in (2)
I voted for Camel McCamelface (2)
Eleanor strikes again (2)
Harrison Ford injured in peach snarl (2)
believing in god (2)
hearing Lose Yourself playing over the speakers in a supermarket and wondering if it is part of a subliminal ad campaign to boost spaghetti sales (2)
wondering what they put in the nonvegan olive oil (2)
all star by smash mouth (2)
spooning Jennifer Aniston's boobs (2)
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina (2)
Rick Tailfeathers, Mayor of Duckburg (2)
The trouble with a 'scientific' argument, of course, is that it relies solely on empirical facts (2)
Kento being banned from the Regret Index (2)
comments that make no sense (2)
that whenever you hear talk of enchiladas you imagine this scene (2)
wondering what the criteria one uses to judge one's success as a huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth are (2)
I'm sorry (2)
hooking up with this girl l met on the internet (2)
wondering when and why it became gauche for the ultra rich to employ court dwarfs (2)
he smashed too hard (2)
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon knotting inside Kento after oral intercourse (2)
furry calk milk, Jenny , Sleigh Hero, Lewd Cunt (2)
Number Two Will Make You Weep (2)
freezing a lump of peanut butter in secret, just to see what would happen (2)
reading that Julian Assange's internet has gone down and Wikileaks believes this was done by "a state party" and thinking no, it's probably his fucking printer shitting up the homehub, or his FourG dongle provider doing upgrades and crippling coverage (2)
fuck marry kill, ten lords a leaping, seven swans a swimming, two French hens (2)
driving your snowblower so hard it explodes in Winter (2)
tonight there's going to be a jail break, somewhere in this town (2)
Hulk Hogan's skin (2)
straddling Kento and pounding his bottom (2)
people who praise Scandianivan Socialism while forgetting that the main reason is works so well is that pretty much everyone in Scandinavia is Scandinavian (2)
the death of Kento (2)
do you have any idea how much it costs to qualify as a padawan, let alone a Jedi Knight (2)
the incident has left me feeling tainted and worried that if I am caught short in similar circumstances there maybe someone hiding in the bushes filming me (2)
victory (2)
la Setmana Tragica turtles (2)
Jabba the Hutt Colon The Art of the Deal (2)
having non consensual sex with a spring onion (2)
having a beautiful ass (2)
The Gay Sisters (2)
Mr Penn wrote that the drug lord ironically called Mr Trump "Mi Amigo!" (2)
Trump Demands New York Times Apologize for Saying He Rooted Mr Pecker (2)
ratemypoo dot com (2)
I want the BEST WOMAN, but I need the WORST CAT (2)
seeing a picture of Henry Kissinger jacking off in the shower over a bruised and bloodied Kento (2)
Pokemon Sucking Dick and Getting Off! (2)
hot hairy girls (2)
meating J's wife, then finishing off on J's mom (2)
Han dies (2)
Bleachy and the Brit (2)
Kento "Dick Dick Dick" Ikeda (2)
the man in the yellow hat (2)
breasts (2)
putting off seeing like thirty movies with one actor in common for almost a decade, even though most of them were at least kind of OK and some were really very good (2)
when they made Stephen Fry, they broke the mould, and then they used it to make Kento (2)
looking up adult dance classes but never joining one, if you know what I mean (2)
once the dj lets it spin it'll penetrate your skin (2)
something is happening here but you don't know what it is (2)
putting the ass in Jurassic Park (2)
language (2)
that one of rachel's best friends is a moderately famous softcore lesbian movie star (2)
taking the chewiest dump (2)
that the swan regrets are not funny, stop it please (2)
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP written on her clothing (2)
really wishing journalists would write "his passion became aroused" instead of "he got angry" (2)
that's weird, last night I dreamed that someone came to my home and made me his thirteenth spouse, and Kento was telling me he got fucked thirteen times last night (2)
also not really wanting to talk to Gemma because apparently she lives with Ben, who last you heard was stealing cars for a living (2)
the Islamicisation of Christmas (2)
in light of the horrible attack in Nice, France, I have postponed tomorrow's news conference concerning my vice presidential announcement while I think of something worse than losers to call the French (2)
it you cut down the tree the hedges get more light (2)
wanking to youth porn, hi (2)
wondering how big an anal ring needs to be to be considered "huge" (2)
trying to conceive of the enormity of a crime or series of crimes that would mandate incarceration for a billion years (2)
not eating the fucking rice (2)
sqoou!ug Jamal's doods (2)
remember Trump, he's back, in GOP form (2)
Kento came in and wrote one one seven seven three two and someone else with real feelings came in and regretted heart to hearts and there may have been an australian (2)
thinking finding someone ass up before the toilet choked on her own vomit would've been made up for by the three or four years of stress free sexing before she keeled (2)
suspecting that Chevy Chase could never have been bothered to even come to set, and they probably just recorded his lines in a porno studio somewhere (2)
needing to fuck a midget on your deathbed (2)
Trump wants a much nigger navy (2)
being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in order (2)
delivering Kento's package (2)
touching Leighton Meester's shit (2)
no one ever died from mowing a hot cunt (2)
rating Myke Hawke (2)
Thant (2)
having to get up in five hours (2)
using an oil based lubricant during really hot sex (2)
busking (2)
Vader's Redemption Colon The Imperial March in a Major Key (2)
Tupac Shakur's mom dies (2)
not realising that the best way to get a British bird to drop her knickers is to do bottomlessly stupid things, crikey (2)
wondering what Courtney Cox spent so much money on that she still has to work (2)
that the moon is lOO% SUPER HOMOSEXUAL (2)
ranking your meat (2)
The entire refrigerator was smeared with what appeared to be a sludge of some sort, varying in color from red to yellow to black (2)
that it's pretty much just racism (2)
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Jurassic Park where Laura Dern sticks her arm up a dinosaur's ass and wondering where it came from (2)
testing a hypothesis (2)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (2)
rating Ruth England (2)
that intelligence generally has an inverse correlation with social skills (2)
tasting your own semen 'just to see what it's like' (2)
this ass (2)
to avoid complications, she never kept the semen dress (2)
a chilling vision of the end of humanity (2)
being a minimalist (2)
wondering if a crappy personality quiz on a website calling you the female Shia LaBeouf would be grounds for defamation (2)
not knowing offhand when babies begin teething (2)
being unrapeable (2)
wondering if there is a special term for fisting two menstruating women at once (2)
Cosby testifies for seven hours in abuse suit, lawyer says (2)
Threepio does (2)
chinnery (2)
shton Kutcher's inability to play Ashton Kutcher convincingly (2)
Star Wars' plans to be a billion dollar movie with the help of toy sales (2)
to avoid constipation, she never crapped the same address (2)
guessing that Scarlett Johansson, and most actresses in general, have buttholes in most of the movies they're in (2)
that you would totally bang Clarabelle over Minnie any day of the week (2)
wondering why it is that whenever an American newspaper seeks celebrity comments on an issue related to the UK they always cite JK Rowling first, and wondering if the Biritsh public likewise holds Ms Rowling's opinions in such esteem (2)
that pictures can be hung, but people are always hanged (2)
not, "per woman", that would be stupid, there's only one and a half gallons in each woman on average (2)
banging a minor heroine butt (2)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (2)
getting Spice World instead of a Bananarama movie (2)
our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of walking into doors (2)
I get it (2)
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Adobe Audition works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such (2)
filling the bath tub with your own fecal matter and drowning a man in it (2)
wondering why fat cats hold such great appeal for humans that, say, fat dogs don't (2)
we should send him fanmail (2)
meeting Brian Knobbs (2)
wondering how many people ever got a tattoo of shtn Ktchr and how that's working out for them (2)
Dog With A Butt Plug (2)
Stonehenge stones 'spent centuries erected in Wales' before being transported (2)
demisemihemidemisemiquavers (2)
having a sudden impure thought to milk Winona Rider (2)
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid (2)
feeding a recurrent neural network with the scripts for every episode of F#R#I#E#N#D#S# (2)
you might have met someone who would possibly have been your Mr Miyagi but he was heavily fined for employing illegal immigrants and you kind of lost track of him (2)
having three Kentos but not being able to train them to do anything except Eiffel Tower each other (2)
Starsuckers (2)
your new dildo being too big for you (2)
being Super Ted (2)
the only fruit juice you had on han was Naked Green Machine (2)
Which Leonardo DiCaprio Character Is Your Soulmate (2)
bottoming for Beef Blastbody in The Fissure King VII (2)
wondering if there is an alternative cut of Her where Pedomustache Twombly furiously beats his meat, pausing only to order his hapless AI to "say more sexy stuff" (2)
wondering whether you would rather have sex with Dickgirl Jewel or Fatworld Jewel, but not knowing whether your desire to spoon Jewel's boobs would outweigh your love of women by the pound (2)
Go Ikeda alone having orally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit (2)
inside of Bananarama it's too dark to read (2)
realizing that out of your entire high school graduating class, you're probably the only heterosexual woman who is still a virgin and is NOT a hard core Christian (2)
still not having seen Teacakes Frown, eh, or Goo En Rue (2)
being the second most voted on regret, but only being the fourth most discussed slash spammed on regret (2)
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe you when you said your cookie recipe was better with shortening than with butter (2)
I should really get some sleep (2)
seeing that horse get yelled at by that lazy yuppie bimbo for touching her son when the horse just stopped him from running out into traffic because the yuppie mom was too busy playing with her iPhone to pay attention (2)
shaving my ladyparts (2)
watching fifteen year old David Blaine "tricks" (2)
Kento's nude, dismembered, entirely shaven corpse being found in a locker at a Topeka bus station last Friday (2)
this ad (2)
David Pumpkins being less amusing than advertised (2)
just now getting that the "T" in "Mr T" stands for "trouble" (2)
Air China receives criticism in the United Kingdom after it releases an advertisement warning passengers from visiting areas of London populated by blacks, Indians and Pakistanis (2)
fucking ass (2)
fuck date kill, Earthlink, a straight guy, Sylvia Browne (2)
that most of the music of the nineties seems to have been droning repetitive crap (2)
seriously having no clue what the fuck Kento's problem is (2)
because it's American made (2)
fearing that Ryan will come back, look at the comments, and assume that his regret site has turned into the next grindr (2)
hi kento (2)
wondering who the hell eats a four pound cake (2)
liking your women like you like your presidents, black (2)
you mom sucking dicks that don't have cash (2)
wondering how hard it would be to program a self driving car to seek out and collect Pokemon for you (2)
Sting playing the Seinfeld sting (1)
maybe I wanted us to be exclusive, but I was worried about losing you, did you ever think of that (1)
seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years (1)
The Black Whores of DC (1)
Howard marks (1)
fuck marry kill, sexual intercourse, marriage, homicide (1)
pingpu peoples (1)
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon (1)
I agree but where are we going to find an animal with a large enough jaw (1)
wondering whether Angel Colon is the gayest name possible (1)
sith guy (1)
girl on girl sex during pregnancy (1)
Kim Kardashian West Had a 'Brutal Girthy Hole' Because of Placenta Complications Colon Source (1)
I'm standing here in pieces and you're having delusions of grandeur bottoming for Red VI in Millennium Porkins VI (1)
always misspelling sodomy (1)
Topless female protesters manhandled after disrupting Islamic conference in France (1)
wondering which will prove the better movie, Teen Wolf Too or Mr Magorium's Whorehouse and Toystore (1)
having a dog named Buster (1)
not choosing the wagon life (1)
saying "keep fucking that chicken" (1)
that's quite the ask (1)
introducing the Amazon Prime Regret Index, same day remorse, free and unlimited (1)
Buttadeus (1)
there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world (1)
Shia LaBeouf Is Watching All His Movies At Angelika Film Center Right Now (1)
writing crappy dialogue (1)
such cow cum in a rape vial (1)
fuck marry kill, Kim Il sung, Kim Jong il, Kim Jong un (1)
horse to meet you (1)
During their private White House meeting on Thursday, Mr Obama walked his successor through the duties of running the country, and Mr Trump seemed surprised by the scope, said people familiar with the meeting (1)
hoping that Kento Claus, soaring through the Christmas night sky on his sleigh pulled by a team of flying walruses, delivers lots of depressing, lonely toys to your house this Christmas (1)
Popstar Colon Never Stop Never Stopping (1)
If you have a ticket for Wembley on Tuesday then it's time to learn La Marseillaise (1)
Twin Boob Jobs #Two (1)
the rainbow ruse (1)
his face was made for punching, and that's just what you'll do, one of these days he'll get his face punched in by you (1)
I guess we'll both be spending a week whale watching (1)
marrying young (1)
we're bullies (1)
the texture of a sponge cake is heavily influenced by the mixing technique (1)
once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back (1)
wishing you could have been a fly on the wall at the studio meetings where the producers kept trying to convince Peter Jackson to fit more Orlando Bloom into the Hobbits, probably going so far as to suggest having two Legolases on the screen at a time (1)
they ruin everything (1)
giving a hand job to the Smoothie King on request (1)
wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda (1)
seeing a guy beg for change outside a suburban grocery store and simutaneously being suspicious and sad for him (1)
I can't even put a finger on Uranus (1)
to be fair, although she looks like she could drown, she does turn that frown upside down (1)
Barely Scald Geldof (1)
remembering rachel as being legitimately great and wondering how it could be that she's still hanging around the regret index so much after so many years when she could do better (1)
the very idea of a mouth smashing contest (1)
seriously craving some Burger King, but not trusting the one by your house since he asked if you have a sister and whether she was "fun" (1)
sarongs (1)
chapped teats (1)
Cthreepios's enormous erection (1)
helping your uncle jack off a horse (1)
provocative and emotional lesbos (1)
realising that Juche has taken a hold of you and you have come to see Kim Jong il and Kim Jong un as the same Glorious Leader (1)
answering the telephone with "fuck you" (1)
beeing (1)
wanting a Predator vs Independence Day crossover just for the line "welcome to erf GET TO DA CHOPPA" (1)
bluh (1)
this freakin dog (1)
wondering if Woody Allen and Roman Polanski hang out much imagining Bill Cosby's jello slicked O face looming over you (1)
having a kid named Buster (1)
divas can at least sing (1)
that the world will end in two thousand twelve (1)
seriously wondering whether Bryan Adams knows how to pronounce 'Porsche' (1)
Will Smith's ability to read insipid raps from a script in a way that almost sounds like he cares (1)
sucking on dicks like twenty four seven all weekend (1)
Seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes (1)
Wrecking Ball chatroulette version (1)
going to that Sausage Festival (1)
spurious precision (1)
compagnie 'elle' (1)
fuck marry kill, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman (1)
Letitia Dunbar Harrison (1)
that there is no scale akin to bra cup size to indicate the size of asses (1)
throwing a party and forgetting you invited Andrew Zimmern and having to drive all the way to Bulk Knackers to pick up ten pounds of llama cocks (1)
Man caught masturbating while watching The Emoji Movie (1)
we're gonna build a walrus pool and make the walrus pay for it (1)
Jennifer Lawrence reveals the two words she wants to say to Donald Trump (1)
that you'll never have a four way with Prairie Dawn, Rosie, and Granny Bird from Sesame Street, and sure, you could probably look up someone else's weird take on a frankly weird desire, but it's not the same (1)
poetry, fuck (1)
getting a raw blow from Rob Lowe (1)
all the people getting head on graciefilms dot com (1)
I'd have called them chazzwazzers (1)
Secundus likes to screw boys (1)
FBI Colon Tycoon Was Extorted By Gay Porn Star (1)
going all the way to Butts County and not even meeting the Count of Butts (1)
Mike Pence tweeted that calls to ban Muslims from entering the US are "offensive and unconstitutional" (1)
ONE Rachel Steven, ah, ah, ah, TWO Rachel Stevens, ah, ah, ah, THREE Rachel Stevens, ah, ah, ah (1)
anyway, if "fisting or being fisted by a Star Trek cast member" is on your bucket list, I'm pretty sure that Takei would oblige you either way (1)
it's hard to grasp (1)
trying to find a Christ figure in every work of fiction, including McDonald's commercials (1)
nobody mentioning rachel in a regret yet (1)
Trump should deport Nikki Haley (1)
creating a script that just prints CHARMING twice and terminates (1)
camgirling (1)
watching Black Mirror because of the pig thing but being three episodes in and thinking it's much less clever than it thinks it is (1)
you should have eaten your crusts (1)
wearing your genitals on the outside (1)
flying All Nippon Airways (1)
wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter (1)
The Shining really is a great name for a romcom (1)
leaving mould in a mug for so long that when you finally got round to washing it, it sprayed a blue cloud around the kitchen on contact with water and made you sneeze (1)
that it is impossible to be "so alone" because "alone" is an absolute (1)
Prince George tries to grab a bilby (1)
this freakin horse (1)
being a barmacist (1)
having a kid named Annyong (1)
I'm telling you that there is a one to one correlation between eating those raw red bell peppers and the burnt rubber farts (1)
Martian Anus (1)
Homos with meat (1)
those times when you have a really intense, meaningful dream, and you try to explain it to other people but it comes out looking boring and retarded (1)
that canned asparagus looks like baby poop (1)
I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell (1)
the secret sauce of America is innovation and entrepreneurship (1)
Meaty the Cock Elf (1)
Sopor Moroo Bros (1)
which Disney Princess you are (1)
fuck marry kill, Jessie, James, Meowth (1)
doing everything, if you know what I meat (1)
Impressing Any Woman With Big Dick (1)
that it's really hard to hold those cups in your hooves (1)
that cut scene from THX OneOneThreeEight in which LUH ThreeFourOneSeven closes the bathroom cabinet too quickly and severs her other hand in the door (1)
I didn't know they made T cup bras (1)
getting a weight off your chest (1)
one pill makes you larger, and one pill Eiffel Towers you with a wal (1)
that Betty White is in her nineties (1)
thinking that Balkanization in the Balkans was inevitable due to their name (1)
this guy right here (1)
misleading the Senate, that's a paddlin' (1)
taking holiday in Brownsville (1)
getting through boring movies by reading things on another device whenever your attention wanders (1)
nobody measuring dickgirl Rachel Stevens in a regret yet (1)
wondering why the British version of American Gladiators wasn't called British Gladiators, Cheerio, cheerio (1)
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan in Two Fisted Snookering VII (1)
hypnagogic jerks (1)
the War on Christmas (1)
Cumbag Steve (1)
spitting blood when you brush or floss (1)
Animorphs, the most beautiful lie (1)
the daughter in Home Alone V was also the murderous zombie girl in The Cabin in the Woods (1)
wondering what will become of the US Army's storied Fifty Seventh Dickgirl Brigade (1)
that's the dumbest joke I've ever made (1)
honestly wishing you could go back to the time in your life when anything could make you as excited as that crisp made that kid (1)
It's the Great Blumpkin, Charlie Brown (1)
confusing hanukkah with bukkake (1)
it really would be too simple to turn a description of a horrible use of sex as a means of oppression into a regret about Kento, Chris Lydon,and walruses (1)
fuck marry kill, Harambe, Binti Jua, Jambo (1)
going home and worshipping the moon (1)
seeing a headline about Janet Jackson having a new tour and honestly thinking she was already dead (1)
unwittingly accepting an invitation to listen to nine sixth form girls talking about their bra sizes followed by the two next to you having a lesbian affair (1)
fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Bear Grylls, James Wesley, Rawles (1)
wondering how Gary Fisher is taking all of this (1)
Miley Cyrus 'Heals Physical and Emotional Pain' With Latest 'Bangerz' Tour Show After Death Of Pet Dog Floyd (1)
a beautiful summer's day (1)
mononymous singers (1)
taking your best girl out to dinner at Chuck E Cheese (1)
ODD (1)
this is exactly what I'm talking about, Eleanor has obviously programmed the Mk VII to choose banging a door and actually getting off on it over any kind of sexual activity with me, that whole site is a scam (1)
Michael Jordan Gatorade "Is It In You" Commercial Outtakes! (1)
A woman was shot in the vagina and left with "life changing injuries" in a sex game gone wrong (1)
rewriting Regret Index Colon the Movie as Two Jerk Guys (1)
people who say 'eff' instead of 'fuck' (1)
giant floppy cocks (1)
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon, they look more like Leo DiCaprio (1)
I want to fuck you like q mineral (1)
remembering way back on THIS 'dex when we hit TWENTY thousand regrets and it seemed like an absolutely mindboggling impossible number (1)
skin (1)
Kento Diet Can Ruin Your Rectum, Podcasters Say (1)
wondering how the test went (1)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (1)
fuck marry kill, James A Garfield, Andrew Garfield, Garfield (1)
noting that it seems that Kento and rachel often show up at the same time and suspecting once again that they are the same person (1)
wondering, in the admittedly unlikely event that you should have kids, how you could possibly explain to them the crazy Summer of Ninety Nine in which the Matrix and All Star were at the top of their respective fields (1)
seeing a picture of Winston Churchill in a skintight bathing suit that clearly outlines his cock and balls (1)
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Penn Jillette and a camel (1)
I'm going to assume that you died (1)
wishing you were named Rob so that whenever you had sex with a woman you could shout "You just got Robbed!" (1)
having a sudden, weird flashback to the library in you small home town (1)
liking your women like you like your steak, blue (1)
rating the third and fifth installments of Home Alone as the best in terms of acting, the third and first as the most original in terms of story, the first and second the highest in terms of set piece violence and endearing self awareness, and the fourth (1)
fuck marry kill, Los Angeles out of Blade Runner, New York out of The Fifth Element, whatever shithole that's supposed to be out of the Spice Up Your Life music video (1)
Anonymous man seeks a missed connection from nineteenseventytwo on CigarSlits (1)
Another Slingshot Ride, Another Wet Cunt (1)
Luke McCarthy, XXVIII, is said to have made a woman drink his blood before sinking his teeth into her thigh (1)
Pool McCortnoo ond Wongs (1)
Vatican sacks gay priest after highly public coming out (1)
Facegrindr (1)
Jennifer Love Hewitt's Boobs Worth $five Million (1)
the fact of almost incestuous breeding (1)
kind of wanting to write a novel, and then accidentally having it turn into a semiautobiographical allegory (1)
Nabooian nerve knockers (1)
women in bikinis bring in donors by standing on a roadside with colorful cardboard signs or posters (1)
that you once wrote "bite my shiny metal ass" into a four hundred year old book, just because you could (1)
which active actors have eaten the most cod in the past decade (1)
cutting off a groin hourly (1)
shootin' some bystanders outside of the school (1)
wondering whether Alfonso Ribeiro is the black Alex Winter or Alex Winter is the white Alfonso Ribeiro (1)
the way that people at Wikinews pretend like they're actually journalists (1)
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big senior penis behind my ass for my head pictures (1)
Kento, in a lime green thong, being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon in a lime green thong and a walrus in a lime green thong (1)
fuck marry kill, Gene Hackman, Gene Hunt, Gene Talia (1)
Harold Pinter writing a harlequin play starring Hayden Panettiere licking HP sauce off of Harry Potter's hard penis (1)
going bananas at a CE Ape gig (1)
The kind of situation when you are standing at a urinal looking like your doing something perverted because you can't find the opening to your underwear (1)
I'm gonna call you Charlie Brown (1)
porking Leonard Nimoy in Hobbit Hole VII (1)
titter, the porno version of twitter (1)
this is the worst website ever (1)
regrets about pony blowing (1)
guessing that Peppa Pig just has Pedro Pony put it in her butt to avoid getting pregnant with some kind of equuporcine abomination (1)
wondering whether Trump was bragging or y'know actually bragging about shooting a man in the middle of fifth avenue (1)
your might in the slit (1)
snapping teeth out of my jaw after a failed pass attempt (1)
having beautiful breasts (1)
Let me hear the sound you'd make if you were slashed in half by a sword (1)
wondering whether Home Alone III onward continued the trend in the first two of teaching young children that every creepy old person is actually really nice and has nothing but your best interests at heart (1)
not wanting to be a dick but also wanting to know who actually calls it Beef Burgundy, Beef bourguignon, boeuf bourguignon, or boeuf a la Bourguignonne, not boeuf a la duche de Bourgogne (1)
just kind of going "oh, that" (1)
fold over glans (1)
replacing all vowels with o (1)
Bononian Rufa fellates Rufulus (1)
being a guy that thinks he's fly and is also known as a buster (1)
honestly thinking that most people brushed their teeth in more less the same way (1)
I use my penis (1)
wondering how many unique words appear in Butthumping but not enough to bother counting (1)
you pay Miyagi (1)
getting mayonnaise all over your face (1)
for me it's always going to be NPor, closely followed by RSte and EJac (1)
The lady just looked at me, looked at my writing of mysterious formulae, and concluded I was up to no good (1)
Afro Samurai (1)
wankin' at the car wash (1)
Oliveira booted the teen out of the room they were sharing at the Olympic Village in Rio so she could enjoy a "marathon sex session" with Brazilian canoeist Pedro Goncalves (1)
The Town That Got Fucked By Bears (1)
which active actors have eaten the most cock in the past decade (1)
Donald Trump, Jr Says President Trump Would 'Get The Wall Started' in The First lOO Days (1)
the dummies inside the phonebooth when it transits into the time circuits on Bill & Ted (1)
never really understanding the appeal of Bill Murray (1)
feeling like a potentially less effects heavy and more kid friendly X Man would be Miceman (1)
damne (1)
that's a helluva penis (1)
that you should always eat balls in pairs (1)
Donald Trump's campaign slogan (1)
All The President's Covfefe (1)
any hole's a gold (1)
finding out that Richard Donner directed "Nightmare are Twenty Thousand Feet" (1)
retiting early (1)
in for a penny, in for a pound (1)
dat boi (1)
Dew Dork Tiggerwillies (1)
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's widow tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor (1)
feeling like you need to sleep with one eye open (1)
u musak qt (1)
putting a little false foreskin on your penis when you disguise yourself (1)
wondering why you would need orange socks (1)
my spoon is too big (1)
not being able to believe it's not butter (1)
the Hogwarts Raping Hat (1)
tattooing PENIS on your penis (1)
wondering if it is still rape if you go back in time and prevent it from ever happening but retain the memory like in tv shows where they time travel (1)
I, Zach Assymoth (1)
drawing a picture of Uncle Phil taking the hugest dump on a pizza while Will goes Big Willie Style on the stuffed crust (1)
having a sudden, weird flashback to the librarian in you (1)
separating the men from the boys at a NAMBLA convention (1)
Carrie Fisher's dog Gary Fisher joined Instagram (1)
fall over dongs (1)
screwing everything up so badly (1)
that No Scrubs can basically be summed up as "poor people will die alone" (1)
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly (1)
Martin Anus (1)
google just being one big fucking swan (1)
not remembering the time we established that Kento has an annual sodomy session with David Cameron, but not doubting it did occur (1)
the world is not a tangled knot of failure (1)
hand fuck railroad (1)
I'm pretty sure you're going to be SUED into oblivion, in England (1)
dropping Dubai on London (1)
smashing the canoptic jar containing Kento's penis, so that his spirit will be impotent in the afterlife (1)
naming your raggy do (1)
wellie wanging (1)
seeing the picture of David Jeffers and wondering how Adam Duritz and Tim Curry managed to keep their love child secret all these years (1)
butt bustin' makes me feel good (1)
The next thing I know, I'm on the floor and my arms are paralyzed (1)
my ass for my senior pictures (1)
The Hurt Focker (1)
cushion for the pushin (1)
drawing a picture of Spiderman being Empire State Buildinged by Ayn Rand and Lord Byron (1)
wondering what your favourite meme is (1)
Disco Fries (1)
she orders that coffee be boiled for five days, ready for their anniversary (1)
Maple Fever (1)
looking at porn (1)
fuck marry kill, bustin', buskin', breastgasm (1)
having an "oh shit, I could have just thrown this guy out the window twenty years ago" moment (1)
Ten Thousand Top Blondes (1)
how lame and folksy a lot of Guns n Roses sounds to your adult ears (1)
You probably have herpes, the WHO says (1)
USA (1)
An Ohio entrepreneur has filed an application to trademark the name of Harambe (1)
giving me fever when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight (1)
accidentally befriending the neighborhood skunk, who now, when she sees you, bounds over to you cheerfully in an alarming way, although it's really quite cute (1)
that "Kento" is actually a ten thousand year old Sumerian demon that prolongs its existence by possessing human hosts, gradually turning them overweight and socially retarded until they kill themselves, then moving on to a new host (1)
bride fancier's lament (1)
that Kento's armor is Hardrock, and his Virtue is Gi (1)
Transsexual Eliot (1)
Donald Trump, a billionaire son of New York City, did not make a single charitable donation to any of the not for profit groups that provided aid to survivors, rescue workers, or the families of cops and firemen who died trying to save others (1)
they're the worst (1)
eiffeltower dot com (1)
Billing Kento's Murrays (1)
twelfth of never on the sand (1)
seeing a meme showing a physical resemblance to Biff Tannen and wondering whether there was actually some kind of thing like that going on, like he went back in time and gave a copy of "New York Real Estate Trends of the Twentieth Century" to his grandfat (1)
the death on the set of Welsh Rape Caress I all but guaranteed the shelving of Welsh Rape Caress II (1)
Gary Glitter signs to produce soundtrack for Meaty Six Incher Colon The Jared Fogle Story (1)
He liked to post innocent looking links that led to a photo of a My Little Pony doll he had jerked off on (1)
swimming in the same tank as Kento (1)
I thought you'd stopped that chopshop body mutilation stuff (1)
having no idea what a klinoppe is (1)
wondering if Prince realized how rich he was (1)
ogre pair (1)
Easy D (1)
wondering if the listing of Avril Lavigne on Marilyn Manson's "associated acts" page is vandalism, or if they actually did collaborate on something (1)
rumour swept London that a pig faced woman was living in Marylebone (1)
His brother Khalid blew himself in the Brussels subway (1)
drinking alone during the day (1)
managing to miss picture day almost every year in high school, and not being in any clubs, so that you weren't really in your yearbooks at all (1)
wondering if there is bad blood between John Goodfuck and Dong Goodman over who first had the idea of becoming a John Goodman parody gay porn star (1)
in the winter time when the weather is low you still get drunk even on the road (1)
Bathynomus giganteus (1)
wondering how Kento writes his name in kanji (1)
wondering if Home Alone IV is canon to adamDRIVER (1)
playing "Ebony and Ivory" on a grisly violinlike instrument whose strings are made from the penises of James Avery, Reginald VelJohnson, Ewan McGregor, and Liam Neeson, and which is played using a bow made from Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormli (1)
fuck marry kill, FDR, JFK, LBJ (1)
feeling like you've really missed out on the smartphone era by not having sex and putting it in cloud storage like a normal person, but consoling yourself with the knowledge that some guy probably had a good look through your webcam without you knowing (1)
Apple Colon give us your fuckin' money (1)
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus (1)
Nens "Hasty" Chrideen, of the Great Empire of D'C'Naa, he (1)
hitting Big Jake (1)
finding a charming map on wikipedia that appears to be a ten year old girl's social studies homework (1)
not being a big gay guy (1)
that the fifth Google result for "Bicoid Babe" is "Bicoid Babe's asshole fountain" (1)
wondering, and not for the first time, what the fuck is wrong with us (1)
learning to say 'where is the bathroom' in every language so that when people ask if you speak any given language you can say "I don't know much, but I know 'where is the bathroom', that may be all I need to know" (1)
Kento's golden ratio (1)
monstrous pike (1)
Terrorists caught in bikinis after performing bizarre midnight drag routine in the jungle (1)
Man Eats CCLV Peeps in V Minutes (1)
what list (1)
the relentless progress of the spambot (1)
enjoying Patty Duke (1)
Kim Jong nam really looking like the Asian Dom Deluise (1)
having literally never heard of Robert Irvine until just now, cheerio (1)
going into the future, seeing the apocalypse, going back in time and being turned into an Iron Man on the way, who can't then communicate what you have learned of the possible doom of the planet to the humans of the present day, so yo go mad and start cho (1)
Pokemon Cum (1)
windowless vans (1)
any damsel that's in distress be outta that dress when she meet Jim West (1)
that whenever you hear talk of Danish lace you imagine this scene (1)
Utah judge calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'good man' (1)
the death of Gary Shandling (1)
Some genius has finally invented vegan cola that doesn't taste like ape crotch (1)
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to take a shit in their skull (1)
that apparently it's okay to photoshop dicks into the mouths of some women but not others (1)
excellent (1)
sucking her left TWO until she had a breastgasm (1)
Francesco Uttini (1)
riddling Scots with Ridley Scott (1)
you're gonna miss me when I'm gone (1)
National Orgasm Day (1)
a landslide of Edward Snowden (1)
"terrible" China, "totally corrupt" Mexico, "a total mess big crime" Germany (1)
It was not clear if Team Clinton sought to publicize the photo to show Sanders, a champion of the working class, at an exclusive locale or if the goal was to circulate an unflattering picture of a septuagenarian in a swimsuit (1)
this is now difficult to interpret (1)
that coming five or six times in about thirty hours makes it so difficult to masturbate (1)
Orly (1)
the singer of the Pokemon Battle Frontier theme song sounding like Tom Petty (1)
Pokemon Extraordinarily Long Penises and Gonopores (1)
Selling black puddings, a penny a pair (1)
wishing you had better computer skills so you could make a "Look at this Braff" Nickelback video (1)
fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox's head on Jai Courtney's body, Jai Courtney's head on Courteney Cox's body, Courteney Cox except she has Jai Courtney's cock (1)
No Bollock S Club VII (1)
drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus, oy (1)
constructing a simulacrum of a nude Hulk Hogan using several large hams, a pile of loose straw, and a baby carrot (1)
the extreme danger of getting trichinosis from walrus meat (1)
going mad and starting cho (1)
peg toodle pip pork, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig (1)
knowing the Foreign Lydon wouldn't even ask (1)
animatio, a blowjob from a puppet (1)
being the map (1)
Mortal Kombat Two Colon Annihilation (1)
glove in you is medical malpractice, making no fault damages payments is all I wanna do (1)
Oasis (1)
that we're almost out of people born in the nineteenth century (1)
'The Movie Where Matt Damon Starves on Another Planet' Wins Comedy Award at Golden Globes (1)
talking about cunnilingus while performing cunnilingus (1)
I and I gon give yuh dah axe, mon (1)
tweeting to a singer that you want to take a shit in her scanties (1)
the fact that Gene Roddenberry is no longer alive to clarify the positions of Fictional Marina Sirtis's breasts (1)
fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan (1)
Annual Pony Rape Bout I (1)
all those bad things we said about Bono a while back (1)
I cannot conceive of such a thing (1)
the Mistake by the Lake (1)
In snooker, swapping the cue from one hand to the other in order to gain easy access to an oblique shot was long thought to be disrespectful, though more recently it has come to be accepted, especially since Ronnie O'Sullivan has dominated the world game (1)
a cum fart tsunami of Edward Snowden (1)
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse (1)
bird fancier's lung (1)
who are you his mother (1)
three dudes stone cold chillin' in a hot tub (1)
I am proud to be an NBA referee and I am proud to be a gay man (1)
he just joined the pony club (1)
going for a four whore drive (1)
the two cartoon dicks JMW Turner painted on The Slave Ship (1)
telling Olive Garden you left all its crap in a box on the sidewalk on your smartphone, leaving out that you kept that sweater that still smells of Olive Garden's musk (1)
posters in the amazing Regret Index may be older than they appear (1)
Birds can be drawn to the scent of plastic (1)
An MEP from Denmark's centre right ruling party has defected in protest at government plans to seize valuables from refugees to help fund their stay in the country (1)
Look but just wishing someone you showed interest in would and day show interest in you (1)
Dipsy (1)
being followed on twitter by a guy named BLAZING HOMOSEX (1)
not fighting for the rights of other people to post video of you banging your friend's wife on the internet (1)
semen slander (1)
not being able to make things right (1)
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face bees (1)
having never seen any of the new Batman films because they came out after Star Wars Colon Episode II Colon The One That Made You Stop Wanting to Go to Movies (1)
not having a jambalaya based on you (1)
wondering if Trump's entire presidency is just a huge scheme to clean up by gambling on the date of his impeachment (1)
taking those Thanksgiving themed erotic photos of Kento wearing nothing but a pilgrim hat and a turkey drumstick covering his genitals (1)
the death of an eight year old child in Twickenham in MMXIII, who collided with a player of British bulldog while playing a different game (1)
spending an evening drinking Tropicana, watching Oz and the twentieth episode of season three of TNG for no reason (1)
going down on Julio down by the schoolyard (1)
that all the golden tickets went to white kids (1)
that Sambo Chuppers was a horrifying chimera of Sarah, Jimbo Wales, chubb d, and Brian Peppers (1)
a great and incredible unit of eight individual females brought together by common interests of wine, cheese, and dark chocolate among many other indulgences (1)
two legit two leak (1)
M Knight Shyamalan (1)
wondering whether the abdominal pain you've been experiencing is a sign of Kentometriosis (1)
hot dark matter (1)
fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds (1)
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian icons in the same way that Judy Garland, Cher, et al are icons for gay men (1)
Earthworms the size of a baby snake, weighing as much as a small mouse, have been discovered on the Isle of Rum (1)
Luke Starmuncher (1)
okay there was one apparently (1)
you're the expert on that (1)
Twin Long Ronnies #Two (1)
look at these cans (1)
wanking to elderly porn, hi (1)
hearing from the internet that a TNG reboot is in the works and not knowing what to believe (1)
blithely singing "La Marseillaise" in the back of a squad car (1)
Lucy Liu kneads dough with boys at a reinsertion center in Goma, Democratic Republic of Congo (1)
the tedium of a porno film you've never seen but already know the boners of the plot to (1)
seeing a photo on wikipedia and wanting to give it the alternate title of "The Evolution of Guys Who Hang Around Children's Playgrounds Too Much" (1)
being b b bread, bread to the bone (1)
drawing a picture of Kento sneaking into Arthur the Aardvark's bedroom late at night with rohypnol laced koolaid and a bunch of dildos (1)
Miley Cyrus is Full of Spunk (1)
Time Travelling Kento coming back to have sex with himself (1)
pitching an original sitcom in which Charles Martinet and Scott Baio play a prominently married couple who make a living playing traditional Mexican music, Mariochachi Band (1)
winning Oasis (1)
The posting notes that the assailant was "bouta fight her," followed by several emojis indicating that a person was laughing so hard she was crying (1)
infested spring (1)
wondering whether Sesame Street has dialed back Elmo since the Kevin Clash scandal (1)
wondering who the regretter with the large orange cat is (1)
being the hardest man in Ireland (1)
A raid is underway at Google's (1)
that Demi Moore was thrice dominated for the MTV Movie Award for Most Desirable Female but lost all three times (1)
imagining Her to be a female version of Him from Powerpuff Girls (1)
the idea that what we're doing right now is really remarkable or important just because, as far as we know, we haven't done it before (1)
fuck marry kill, Mahatma Gandhi, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi (1)
my recollection is that she assumes the main character's identity after his death (1)
the Pope's movie reviews are considered infallible (1)
Oosos (1)
you awful, awful man (1)
that all the golden tickets went to white dogs (1)
eXXXteme edgy lesbian "that's what she said" jokes! (1)
shooting your infant child into space (1)
the kid from Lazytown is a quarter of a century old (1)
having a surfeit of lampreys in the bathroom at church (1)
I can call you daddy (1)
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian (1)
Bono's dog can't get an erection (1)
finding a picture of Tim Duncan swimming with a beluga (1)
falling down the rabbit hole of youtube song mashups (1)
Surgeons create anus for girl born without one (1)
When you turn the Trump Pence logo upside down, it literally looks like a handjob (1)
fusing Jennifer Lawrence with Jennifer Garner (1)
delicious artisanal sandwiches (1)
fuck marry kill, Princess Madeleine, Tinky Winky, Steve Harwell (1)
I don't want to being a mystery (1)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Danica McKellar (1)
Colon Trump, MD (1)
Kento's testicular mass (1)
giving the chariot to Lucy Lui and Lucy Liu (1)
Donald Trump praises Scots for "taking back control of their country" by voting overwhelmingly to remain in the EU (1)
Iran Contraception (1)
having a cardboard booty (1)
wondering what Bear Grylls spent so much money on that he still has to eat nutsacks (1)
the Imgurian daguerreotype of the horny podcaster (1)
eating two huge slices of beef pizza (1)
the player who walked in on two long rods (1)
getting yo dick rode all night (1)
suspecting that all the spam comments are going to break the 'dex again (1)
Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'faggots' (1)
Han banged a Tim Burton heroine first (1)
viewing Cold War era scaremongering apocalypse porn with the same "I'm so glad I'm not dumb enough to fall for this" attitude as, say, Kirk Cameron's Colon Saving Christmas (1)
wondering if anyone has actually tried some of the sex acts listed on Urban Dictionary (1)
A gerbil has been found alive in the anus of an actor whose career burned down five years ago (1)
eating asparagus, then the hugest dump that smells exactly like asparagus (1)
not really NEEDING to fuck a midget on your deathbed, but wanting to (1)
Anne Hathaway beats the paparazzi to confirm pregnancy (1)
there's no escaping the chores of the alien this time (1)
wondering if you have ever won any Oscars (1)
The brawl continued backstage with Cool and Jesus eventually getting in a car and speeding out of Gund Arena (1)
having no clue who Kento is (1)
sniffing markers (1)
putting things directly in Squirrel Girl's ass (1)
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Pork Stripe With Minor at Youth Camp (1)
inexplicably weeping while touching a little girl down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain (1)
Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eye are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye (1)
V for Vladimir Putin (1)
Wet Horny Annie declines to answer whether he still engages in sexting (1)
not being able to think of a better name for a gay porn star than "Vin Diesel" (1)
not knowing what a thoul is (1)
Operation Paperclip (1)
peeling a penis (1)
Ki Adi Mundi (1)
I came very close to writing that one (1)
you die of unspecified illnesses (1)
in sixth grade, hearing a story where some girl supposedly got her first period after taking a hot bath and having sex (1)
snarfs TWICE your girth (1)
being raped by a midget (1)
Kim Kardashian West Had a 'Really Tough Birth' Because of Placenta Complications Colon Source (1)
bigger penis (1)
#fresherelfshitanalgate (1)
begged incest (1)
shaving a twelve inch gungan (1)
fuck marry kill, Lauren Tom, Kiana Tom, Tom of Finland (1)
laughing as you hew a rough wooden dildo for Mary Chapin Carpenter (1)
look at this ass (1)
incorrectly guessing Jonathan Avildsen to be a Stunt Man Actor rather than A Terrible Actor Whose Dad Directed The Movie (1)
wondering how many people are walking around right now unaware that they have a bifurcated colon (1)
Raccoon Tit Rape Inn (1)
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated (1)
figuring Ryan will drop by and nuke the comment database again at some point (1)
replicator meat (1)
there ain't no way a stingray is gonna penetrate all that boob meat (1)
homosexual father (1)
having sex with a doll that looked a lot like Jonathan Taylor Thomas (1)
being a pregnant (1)
Unreclusive Rapist has modified the restraint system on some of the seats to accommodate smaller guests (1)
getting a job as a Kento buggerer (1)
Monchhichis (1)
Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump (1)
your body is a wonderland (1)
considering writing "fuck marry kill, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica" and then realizing that it is the easiest answer ever (1)
reading comments on the internet anywhere, ever (1)
If you went back in time and told me that in the near future, one of the most nerd accessible directors would make an all female Ghostbusters reboot and it would become this bizarre hill to die on, I would have laughed it off (1)
loving Canada (1)
liking your babies like you like your martinis, shaken (1)
Rick Astley is probably not going to be my best friend by Monday afternoon (1)
going round the twist (1)
hoping that the make a Pokemon based on the candiru (1)
wondering who'd win in a kangaroo semen drinking contest, Andrew Zimmern or Anthony Bourdain (1)
Report Colon Stephen Fry to Fist Prince William with Gay Rights Petition at BAFTAs (1)
that the regret index is no longer powered by regret (1)
Animals are crapping in our houses and we're picking it up! Did we lose a war (1)
He was subjected to sadistic ragging and in the postmortem a large quantity of tooth paste was found in his rectum (1)
wanting to change every reference to Middle East in someone's website to Middle Earth (1)
topping for Steve Harwell in Takin' the Back Streets VII (1)
regrets, perod (1)
Meowth that's right! (1)
seeing a skittles commercial where a woman kisses a walrus (1)
that wikipedia claims Eminem made extensive use of the feminine rhyme scheme in his early work, no homo (1)
groping breasts (1)
looking at pictures of naked ladies (1)
damn, I've been maintaining my amateur status because I want to dog in the Olympics (1)
just now realizing that you probably could have just poisoned the tea that you gave Obi Wan and Qui Gon, which they eagerly and willingly drank without so much as sniffing it, rather than trying to gas them (1)
wondering if Hey Jude is about Jude Law (1)
Mr Freeze (1)
buying a push up bra for the first time (1)
A Butt's Life (1)
having at least three sphincters on your face (1)
being too sexy for your car (1)
fuck marry kill, Fatworld Jewel, Dickgirl Jewel, and John Carpenter's The Thing Jewel (1)
that Dexy's Midnight Runners has some really good words contained in it, including sex, dudes, girth, and Sting, but not having the energy to find a full anagram (1)
kissing that boy in Ithaca (1)
paddlin' the school canoe (1)
fuck marry kill, Taylor Hanson, Zac Hanson, Isaac Hanson (1)
choosing Coldcock over Hawtnutz and Vagbush (1)
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy (1)
getting a job at Kento Burger (1)
trendsbianism (1)
you say that, but it really couldn't be further from the truth (1)
forcing yourself too deep (1)
stealing Paris Hilton's cake (1)
turtle ships (1)
wondering why Chris Lydon needs to raise money on kickstarter even though he has the money to maintain a harem of fat gay Asian sex slaves (1)
honestly, fuck Sting (1)
William Hogarth with his Pug, Trump (1)
going crabbing in Sheepshead Bay (1)
pizza is the best food (1)
Mr Barasch said the lab had shown that people were ready for cruel anal (1)
sometimes missing taking baths as opposed to showering, because there's nothing quite as satisfying as farting in the bath (1)
nobody WANTS to deep throat Stephen Fry (1)
wondering if you're going through all the old regrets one by one to learn the history of the 'dex (1)
might The stress Be With You (1)
Pokemon Lying Flat Against the Ground and Run Away Like a Little Bitch (1)
wondering what kind of things you often write so that "buggererbig" is in your autofill (1)
The Bee Movie trailer but every time Cher tweets the volume increases lOO% (1)
your diet of verbal abuse and walrus spoff (1)
groping beasts (1)
licking another man's genitals in a nonsexual way (1)
that christopher lydon is the most handsome man on the planet and you will never look like him when you're old (1)
It's World Emoji Day! Teen girls, code an emoji that's unique like you (1)
David Dees (1)
believing you can fly (1)
EVACUATING bowels until they IMPLODE (1)
not choosing the vegan life (1)
thinking you have brain cancer whenever you get a nosebleed (1)
wondering how Kento got over nine thousand followers on Twitter (1)
swans are metal (1)
wondering where that whole "eliminate liquid waste out of your genitals" thing came from (1)
Five Hospitalized After Tony Robbins Urges Them to Walk Over Hot Coals (1)
Quantum Rape (1)
why'd you move to France (1)
fuck marry kill, Kim Kardashian, Kim Cardassian, Nicolas Kim Coppola (1)
doing machines (1)
Kento requires full rectal reconstruction after being Eiffel Towered (1)
watching Perfect Body and feeling like it would have been improved by a scene in which Andie attacks a mirror, believing she is a bag of Doritos, mortally wounding herself just prior to winning Olympic gold (1)
I'm not a chick (1)
playing it til your fingers bled (1)
not being able to stop Kento putting radiation in little retarded kids' gonads (1)
talking about poop poop poop muzik (1)
rook takes buttocks, check and mate (1)
this is a rat burger (1)
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