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Trent Lane in drag?
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A kid walker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
The Conservative club declined to comment
A dog walker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
the MP reportedly said, "Stop being so aggressive, you little shit"
pumpkin pie
backdoor slats
wondering if there is accountability in ant societies, like when an ant comes back to the nest with something weird do the other ants have some method of dealing with that and can the colony actually learn not to bring stupid things back
haughty nurses
accidentally leaving your worn panties under your bed for nearly a week and noticing capers in the crotch when you find them
finding capers in your crotch
Backdoor Sluts IX makes Crotch Capers III look like Naughy Nurses II
bench pressing a French press for the French press
grinding coffee for XP
Backdoor Sluts IX
the great Wizard, the skillful Ranger, and the covetous Jew
Der Zeitung does not out run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'dilated'
Die Zeitung does not run images of swans that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Die Zeitung does not run images of men that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Special needs girl raped after being used as 'bait' to catch sex offending teen colon lawsuit
wondering if anybody doesn't know that Kim Kardashian has starred in a porn video
wondering if the hacker who worked so hard to steal Kim Kardashian's nude pics knows that she has starred in a porn video
having an abortion after a fling with the pool boy, cheerio
everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall
having an abortion after a fling with the pool boy
having a lot of fun, having a lot of money
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable dilation
butterflies
not realizing until you had dilated ten centimetres that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
dilating your dick in the car door
rubbing one out in the stirrups at the gynaecologists
using the word "dilatastic"
holding your boobs when you dilate
the dilation of Sylvia Browne
dilating Brian Peppers
Dilator's Knob
that you're a lot weirder since you started visiting Dilator Forums
remembering a point in time when Dilate Wrath was your favorite movie
remembering a point in time when Wild at Heart was your favorite movie
HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED
zoot skin
kids these days with their moulted skin pants
carrying your skin around
with its moulted skin "pants", Scraggy seem to encapsulate stereotypes of youth subcultures of the past several decades, namely hip hop or punk
failing to come up with a grammatically acceptable third person
realizing in your thirties that you can see your penis if you stick it out and look down
the noble prized peace llama of the Andes
realizing in your thirties that you can see your tongue if you stick it out and look down
the prized peace llama is pretty amazing
wondering how long it will be before phones are able to tell that you're looking at the screen but daydreaming and turn off to conserve power
the caramelized apple is pretty amazing
eating that whole thing of pancakes and sobbing in bed
wondering if the pancakes were pancakular
caramelizing that apple
spending like an hour making pancakes for yourself
Gobbler's Knob
not eating out Kento when you hatch dance, eh
not eating out Kento when you had the chance
not eating out Kento
not being IN Kento
not being out Kento
rubbing one out out in the bathroom at church
holding your boobs out when you run down the stairs
taking out the hugest dump
getting regret one one nine five seven like four times in the past forty eight hours and you just don't give out a shit about it
getting regret one one nine five seven like four times in the past forty eight hours and you just don't give a shit about it
lucubrating
lubricating
oiling
boiling
burning
you city folk are probably hungry from premarital sex and flag burning
surprisingly large numbers answered
Reuters has been asking Americans how they would feel about declaring independence today, not from the United Kingdom, but from the mother country they left England to create
A Marinade Levy
"There's like thirty knives out there right now," Ikeda says, "Hidden up my rectum"
getting in a prison fight with the Fat Gay Asians
Marvin Lee Aday
skiffle
"There's like thirty knives out there right now," Acosta says, "Hidden up their rectums"
Nude Porn Star Photos Reportedly Leaked Online
Nude Kim Kardashian Photos Reportedly Leaked Online
Fotzegeiger
cunt violins
sint vinculo
oh snap
being dissapointed with the amazing reget index
a revenge's feh nowt
Revenge of the Swan
Revenge of the Span
getting your dick sticky with Muk
Revenge of the Snap
getting your dick sticky with insert name
that Disney can't say Sith
that Disney can't say Shit
urbandictionary's definition of "commonly"
Commonly Used By Dave Chappelle, the phrase is an exclamation of surprise, reget, dissapointment, happiness, and many other emotions
Walt Disney's crippling speech impediment
A catchphrase used by Disney channel characters due to the fact that Disney can't say Shit
not knowing what "oh snap" means
being kind of at a loose end on a weekend for once
Cortical homunculi
Glamorousness
wishing there were a way to tag Wikipedia articles with "This article may need revision, as it reads like it was written by a fucking lunatic"
Glabrousness
TRILLY DILLY used VIBRATE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
SLOPNUGGET used MUD SPORT! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Icepuddle
Slopnugget
Cuddlepie
Snugglepot
Bill Batter
Trilly Dilly
Grump Frump
Grovernor
Tom Trow
googling something you half remember and getting a single result, which you wrote several years earlier
cramming your curious cans in the car door
Coca Cola is funny, Kodak is funny, Spanx is funny, cockney is funny, kroner is funny, Polanski is funny, not if you meet him only if you say him, Kento is funny, Chris is funny, crime is funny
Blakely knew that Coca Cola and Kodak were the two most recognized brand names in the world, with both containing a strong "k" sound, words with a k in it are funny
Polanskape
Primeape
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Spanx for Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Skanks for Nothing
wanting to hire Bill Cosby to be in Skants or Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be in Skants or Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Skants for Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then make her wear skants constantly
Roman Polanski and Bryan Singer's new theme restaurant venture, Planet Rape
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then kill her off in some kind of horrible meat processing plant accident after three episodes
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then kill her character off in some kind of horrible meat processing plant accident after three episodes
that grown up storks must support their parents by migrating elsewhere and conducting warfare
right in the round tables
with a garbage bag over your head on Planet Rape
going searching for space booty and plundering Cap'n Yar's golden treasure box
wondering how tough it must have been for Yar on Talk Like a Pirate Day
wondering if Yar didn't get nostalgic for the sexual freedom of Planet Rape
how much more awesome TNG would have been if instead of dying in a garbage bag erotic asphyxiation accident Yar had left the Enterprise and pursued a new career in space piracy
Lucius the Dilator
With Jawas You Teeny
regretting a pielike rat
regretting a ratlike pie
regretting like a pirate
At least therapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't in most cases result in anyone's death
At least the rapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't in most cases result in anyone's death
With Jews You Lose
being chinned by your own chin
sleeping in your rich uncle's home to collect your inheritance
being trapped in your home by negative equity
birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, let's do it, let's Eiffel Tower Kento
burning your home to the ground to collect the insurance money
a real upper decker
our Scooby Snacks, they got the whole stash
a real fixer upper
extending out back
some crazy meth addict kicking in the back door of your home and stealing your stuff
living in your car
having to call an exterminator to get rid of all the cockroaches in your home
living with your parents
sharing a duplex with a walrus
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys and burgers and fries
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent
a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
WALREIN used HELPING HAND! It was HARD TO GRASP!
it's not super effective
WALREIN used HELPING HAND!
Jigglypaff
though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not
While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in
Titus the Dilator
Titus the Fox
Maslow's Dilator
I have found two nonvaginal uses for your vaginal dilators
actually googling Dilator Forums because it seemed like a thing and it kind of was a thing but then you got it
having never played a Pokemon game I'm just going to assume that the attack is also misspelled
POLANSKUNK used TRANQULIZE! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Cow Control, sic
Colic Scorn #Two
Crow Colon Tics
MC Dogs
Dilator Forums
OurNut
remembering living for those cover discs that crammed a dozen game demos onto a single three and a half inch floppy
OutRun
Ford Simulator
Ronald was showing off his magic bag at a picnic in the meadow
MC Kids
well that was unfortunate timing
RAPODILE used HYPNOSIS! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
The player controls one of two crocodile twins named "Funk" and "Punk" respectively in an attempt to rescue a crocodile girl
Cool Croc Twins
Instigator evolves into Rapodile at level twenty two
Charles Bdsmingus
it's pro walrus
"Instigator" would be a good name for a Pokemon
the Bill is about animals abusing people
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by a walrus and an alligator
the very notion that the walrus wasn't an instigator
When you Eiffel Tower those you love, it's not about abuse, but love
the very notion that the walrus wasn't a willing participant
doing a google news search for Christopher Lydon and getting the headline "Animal Abuse Bill Heading To Gov Patrick's Desk
B D S M I N G O
doing a google news search for Christopher Lydon and getting the headline "Boston Police Colon Suspect Committed Two Sexual Assaults
BDSMNPR
if you could see that far
BDSMNFL
When you whip those you love, it's not about abuse, but love
that at the present rate regret one hundred thousand will be entered sometime around October twenty fifteen
going groping around for Shaggy's erect penis
that scene where Velma loses her glasses and she goes groping around looking for them and she grabs something that she thinks is just Shaggy's erect penis but it turns out is actually a floating haunted dildo
being left a fortune in your rich Uncle Bicoid's will on condition that you spend one night in his haunted mansion and also use at least three of his dildos
spooky appliances, specifically, haunted dildos
spooky appliances
the immersion heater switching off as soon as you start talking about it
how loud the immersion heater in your bathroom is
hov much vas dog on the vindov
It vas so motch dog on the vindov
I came with a great fart and disappeared as a prick in the sky
I had a very big fart, and suddenly I fucked off the road
In Norway we rape after dinner, and then the girspak got broken
I had a stop in the start
New England style swan chowder
honestly thinking that Nicole Dieker is a bigger celebrity than Chris Lydon
It's not the fart that's kill you, it's the smell
New England style man chowder
New England style clam chowder
Two hand grenades
wondering if Chris Lydon is the Celebrity Regretter, wicked pissah
A large haul of World War One and Two hand grenades, rifles, mortar shells, guns and ammunition have been found in a house in Hertfordshire
pokeman, puking out his chu up here aloni
wondering who would win in a fight, Dale Gribble or Anakin Skywalker
that as of this regret there are only one hundred and seventy five instances of the phrase "Chris Lydon and a walrus" on the amazing Regret Index
Kento taking a selfie of himself being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
pokeman, piking out his chu up here alone
seeing the words " ryan north of dinosaur comics and project wonderful fame" and wondering if Ryan is the Celebrity Regretter, eh
pocket sand, burning out his fuse up here alone
not liking pocket sand
POCKET SAND!
giving Kento an upper decker for his birthday
Joan Rivers's doctor 'took a SELFIE' with the comedian as she was under anesthesia and just moments before she went into cardiac arrest that killed her
Saya no Uta
scusing me while I kiss this guy
scusing me while I kiss the sky
agreeing to meet the swan one last time and getting it to admit that the two of you had some good times together, then being mauled by a swan in a bittersweet, tender way for the very last time
posting ever more frequently on r hookupswithswans
harbouring revenge fantasies for months, then running into the swan with its family one day and realising it just wanted to feel free for a while, then being mauled by a family of swans
taking a swan out to see a movie, didn't have to pay to get it in
going through a vulnerable period in which you hook up with a few geese, but it just isn't the same
whimpering "I don't understand, was it really just physical for you" as the swan leaves your bloody and beaten form by the riverside and glides gracefully away
Herobrine Williams
wondering if swans passive aggressively order terrible big gulp coffees loaded with sugar so that they can attack anyone who suggests switching to decaf
wondering if swans like coffee
swans with benefits
you rowing a boat down a slow river on a summer's day, and the swan viciously attacking you, like two giddy young things in love
that you're not sure you would like dating a swan, but at least it would be something that you could say you'd done, and it wouldn't have to be serious, just a bit of fun
voting "no" on the regret "dating a swan" even though you've never dated a swan
busty chickens
IT IS LARGER WET
Irving Berlin having choke sex with Kento in Kanto
IT IS REGRET LAW
sometimes forgetting that in the Regret Index Canon, the walrus ALWAYS enters from behind
Busty Kento Choking On Walrus For Podcaster
Busty Kento Choking Walrus For Podcaster
Husband Busted For Choking Wife Over Swan
Husband Busted For Choking Wife UNDER Chicken
Husband Busted For Choking Chicken Over Wife
Chicken Busted For Choking Husband Over Wife
Husband Busted For Choking Wife Over Chicken
Texas pizza employee who rubbed genitals on customer's order apologizes colon cops
Newcomb's paradox
Objectivists can only use cars they have constructed themselves, starting with the raw materials and using their own designs
high domed Vegans
wanting to buy that "Objectivists Do It Aynally" bumper sticker for Kento, but doubting he has a car
Rhaandarites
The Infamous Irons of William Waffles
first crystal tears fall as snowflakes on your body
making a Kento golem out of kimchee and butter tears for the purposes of blowing dudes
infectious mononucleosis
The Burger Family
'Dancing With the Stars' Colon Alfonso Bonzo blows judges away
In the September twenty twelve issue of The Walrus magazine, the cover story "Manufacturing Taste" by Sasha Chapman details the history of the Canadian cheese industry and Kraft's impact on it
that Kecleon's sprite actually doesn't change color when it changes type
'Dancing With the Stars' Colon Alfonso Ribeiro blows judges away
making a Kento golem out of steak and shakes for the purposes of licking dudes
Timerider Colon The Adventure of Lyle Swann
meat Kento, or Meato, as Fellato may also be described
making a Kento golem out of waffles and Danish remoulade for the purposes of blowing dudes
I don't want to put Kento out of work
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a golem made of kimchee could possibly blow a dude
making a Kento golem out of kimchee and bitter tears for the purposes of blowing dudes
that blowing dudes is pretty much the only thing that Kento can do well, so he might as well change his name
Fellato Ikeda
misreading "Kento" as "Fellato" and thinking you've probably spent too much time here
no good could come of it
wondering if regret two nine zero six nine was written by Kento, and what came of it
Schindler's lithp
Schindler's lift
the John Thomas region
The NUJ has expressed concern at the increase in Eiffel Towering of fat gay Asians abd calls for people and walruses on both sides of Kento to rein in the abuse
The NUJ has expressed concern at the increase in intimidation and bullying of journalists covering the independence referendum and calls for people on both sides of the campaign to rein in the abuse
Kento failing to live by the precepts of Objectivism and instead have greatness thrust upon him through the actions of others, sometimes four or five times a night
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon thrusting greatness upon Kento
some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them
kink ate ode
a noted kike
toad ink, eek!
I Toke Naked
Kento Ikeda
the Johto region
And immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders, Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, "Make him close his damn robe"
when you're the Messiah, nobody wants to be the one to say "put 'em back inside"
imagining that Jesus just kind of walks around in heaven hanging his boys down through the clouds at the world below
not hitting jesus' balls
hitting jesus' balls
jumping in this guy
not jumping in the sky
jumping in the sky
yo mama so tall when she jump in the sky it hit jesus' balls
Yo mama so dumb when she pay the hardboiled cockney gumshoe she use kroner
Yo mama so fat when she eat fried chicken the sun go supernova
Yo mama teeth are so blue when she go outside everyone be all 'is that yo final answer'
Yo mama teeth are so yellow when she closes her mouth her butt lights up
Yo mama teeth are so big she flosses with a blanket
cock, you just banged on the table tonight
banging your cock on the corner of the table when you got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night
Tex Avery
the day the Bangkok Marketing Board decided to play up to the city's name by promoting sex tourism
sex slavery
Kanye West tries to shave man in wheelchair during Sydney concert, crikey
TWO nights in Bangkok
Kanye West tries to shave man in wheelchair during Sydney concert
Kanye West tries to shame man in wheelchair into dandy sty during ensign concert
Archer gets a face, fuck
bottoming for T'Pol in Vulcan Fuck Pinch VII
Archer gets a face fuck
Archer gets a face full
Kanye West tries to shame man in wheelchair into standing during Sydney concert
Kim Kangaskhan
that the "baby" in the pouch is not a child, but rather a parasitic conjoined twin
the doctrine of original kangaskhan
it's Kangaskhan all the way down
ashcan babies
Even with the advent of breeding and baby Pokemon, the baby Kangaskhan has yet to be made into a separate Pokemon, and as a result, all Kangaskhan are born with a baby already in their pouch
Man Academy II Colon Rites of Passage
Man Academy Colon Where Boys Grow Up!
Jollo finds mint repulsive
Naked Swan Poo
Jollo
accidentally joining PEETAP instead of PETAP
Naked Man Poo
Naked Moan OP
Pokemadonna
that we are living in the Pokemon world
UN peacekeepers brought in to put an end to an "unprecedented number" of chinnings
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world be grass type Pokemon
having a few concerns about the possibility of brief violence from the supporters of the losing side, but only at a very local level
not expecting Scottish independence
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world eat ass type Pokemon
Scottish independence could mean messy divorce
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world eat grass type Pokemon
that pandas are born with sterile guts, and they could talk then literally the first thing their single mothers would say to them would be "eat shit"
PETAP
being racist against dogs, and also Pokemon
that in college, you wrote a spec script for Pokemon in which Ash and company went to a town that had banned Dark type pokemon intending to make it an allegory against racism but it turned out to eat an argument against breed specific dog restrictions
that you actually support breed specific dog restrictions
that in college, you wrote a spec script for Pokemon in which Ash and company went to a town that had banned Dark type pokemon intending to make it an allegory against racism but it turned out to be an argument against breed specific dog restrictions
image searching "fatass Ketchum"
image searching "fat Ash Ketchum"
image searching "Ash Ketchum being"
image searching "Ash Ketchum eating"
always imagining that Ash was Asian but realising that was probably a racist assumption you made based on seeing him eat with what you assumed were chopsticks
imagining Snorlax has a reproductive cycle much like that of the Panda and therefore poses little risk even if not neutered, then spending ten minutes reading about how pandas are basically screwed
wondering if there are even Asians in the Pokemon world
predatory Walrein would groom their trainers by bringing them snacks
Walrein would seek out and have sex with fat gay Asians
not even wanting to imagine what Walrein would do
thinking that an intact Snorlax would be just impossible to have around
not at the Ketchum residence
wondering if neutering Pokemon is common practice
The Alyssa Milano Carolingian Renaissance
Futaynari
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and Andrew Zimmern whilst skiing Carlo Gesualdo and a futanari Ayn Rand and Slash watches from afar and masturbates
having impure thoughts about giving a teenage Alyssa Milano a Cleveland steamer
having impure thoughts about a tramp steamer Alyssa Milano
having impure thoughts about a steampunk Alyssa Milano
having impure thoughts about a steam age Alyssa Milano
Alyssa Milano's Teen Steam Workout Video
Kento realizing that he can really only pleasure four men and Slash
stepping into the velvet of the morning
you can't blame him, if you were likely to have sex with Chris Lydon you'd want to be drunk as well
Kento is drunk right now
the world was new beneath a blue umbrella sky
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
I'm never alone
I'll never forget where you're at
every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you
life finds a way
it can be both
wondering if we're talking about food or sex here
drawing a picture of Kento being split five ways with some fries
Kento realizing that he can really only pleasure four men and slash or animals at once
trying to split your attention five ways
comely lasses
keeping pushin' till it's understood and those badlands start treating you good
The Olives Up Your Butt Garden Booty Eating Rennaisance
putting olives up your butt at Olive Garden
The Olive Garden Booty Eating Rennaisance
The Olive Garden Brand War of Jenkins Ear
Paul Allen sues over Nazi tank he says he bought
The Olive Garden Brand Rennaisance
Investor rips into Olive Garden
Rachel Ray Antiperspirant four Excessive Underarm Sweating No More Sweat Pack of eight
the fifth result for "Chris Brown gives advice to Ray Rice colon 'It's how you control your anger'" being "Rachel Ray colon cleanse"
The Eiffel Towering French Conductance
Brown added colon 'If you control your anger rather than letting it control you, your punches will be more accurate and cause more damage'
Chris Brown gives advice to Ray Rice colon 'It's how you control your anger'
resistance
The Eiffel Towering French Resistance
The Arse Eating Swinging London, Cheerio
The Booty Eating Syrian Civil War
The Booty Eating Chalcolithic
Professor Pussywillow
The Booty Eating Second World War
you can probably see where I'm going with this
The Booty Eating Great War
The Booty Eating Industrial Revolution
The Booty Eating Enlightenment
that gay men don't have a monopoly on anuses
The Booty Eating Renaissance
Yeah I eat booty! Real niggas eat booty! Real niggas please they bitches!
having sex with Myke Hawke
having sex with my maid
Doctor Who Worked on Joan Rivers, Steps Down From Post at Medical Clinic
Doctor Who Worked on Joan Rivers Steps Down From Post at Medical Clinic
having sex with your maid
wondering how well documented Chris Lydon's whereabouts during the spring of eighty one are
It has been brought to the attention of the police department and the district office that adults dressed as clowns have been bothering children to and from school
getting around to watching Mom's the Word and thinking that the plot is crap but Cruel Anal Labs really never did give a bad performance
Lieutenant Commander K'athy B'ates, the three buttocked Latina Ewok striptease queen
Kathy Bates, Ewok
Kathy Bates' Butt TRIPLE
Kathy Bates' Butt Double
Sandrash
Clapras
Vulvapix
HIVsaur
when infected characters teleported from Zul'Gurub to Ironforge or Orgrimmar, Corrupted Blood came with them
Penusaur
Cumbreon
Walreip
Masturbuzz
Vulvaby
Willypede
Fannypede
Drilhur
Lhydon
Mespurt
Inheatran
Fuxie
Botom
Testacruel
Testacool
Peedrill
Proboass
Fuk
Rohypnerior
Lickilicky
Arseus
Mandyke
Rapion
Rapequaza
Munchex
Brondong
k
Skantank
Suicunt
Fagsire
Veritite
Noseass
Pisseoto
Butterpee
Swallow
Dickitung
Titmonpee
Papsmeargle
Arsaring
Farfuck'd
Teddiarsa
Felatr
Cockonaw
Bangasskhan
Mom's the Word
Marofuk
Cuboner
Vuvuzelasaur
Cruel Anal Labs never gave a bad performance
naming your boobs Boob and Boobtwo
getting around to watching To Have and Have Not and thinking that the plot is crap but the performances are excellent
Boobtwo
Boob
Charmantfesses
Cartonfesses
Gaufrefesses
Cardboardbuttocks
Awfulbuttocks
Wafflebuttocks
using the word "wafflebuttocks"
Laybeef
Gynodude
Pornygon
Vulvasaur
Dickachu
Wrestmilk
tricking Roman Polanski into foe tootling touches
tricking Roman Polanski into cutting footloose, eh
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Footless Dig, Eh
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Hose Fist Lodge
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Goosed Elf Shit
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to the Isle of Dogs
your dead dogs don't trump my Constitutional rights
your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional rights
driving around in a dump fuck
court documents unsealed Thursday that illuminate how federal officials forced American tech companies to participate in the NSA's controversial PRISM program
Teacher Accidentally Shoots Jackson C Frank in Eye at School
Teacher Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg at School
taping the hugest dumpy fucker
taking the hugest dumpy fucker
being trapped in Cat's Bottom by negative equity
turning on all the Ewoks with the garbage mashers on the detention level
Ewoks have serious problems with garbage detention
dumpy fuckers
Ewoks have serious problems with fluid retention
holding your buttocks when you run down the stairs
Eegah Colon The Name Written in Blood
you should never buy in Cat's Bottom, only rent
that even though Ewoks have twice the mass of humans of the same height, it doesn't necessarily mean they're twice as dense, they could just be little fat dumpy fuckers
topping for Tasha Yar in Rape Gangs of Turkana IV
Kate's utter lack of maternal instincts leading her to believe that the best way to give little George a haircut is with a bench grinder
space bear density mystery solved
it is therefore reasonable to assume that very dense sapient space bears provide the extra mass for their small, slow spinning planetoid to gain Earthlike gravity
that Wookieepedia lists the diameter of Endor as roughly one third of Earth, yet despite not visibly spinning much faster than Earth it appears to have Earthlike gravity
the death of Richard Kiel
Rape gangs of Turkana IV
Wrigley's Pleasure Planet
property for sale in Cat's Bottom
Cockramsbutt
Naacad, eh
Naacal
Harry Can't Wait for William to 'Suffer More' With New Baby giving off sparks
just kind of assuming it's going to be a boy
wondering if Prince George's younger brother is going to mysteriously be a ginger as well, because as established by his uncle, the Windsor Spencer line is strong with ginger
Ewoks never miss leg day
just now realizing that Justin Bieber is the male Tila Tequila
Justin Bieber Strips Off His Clothes After Audience Boos
that Wookieepedia lists the average mass of an Ewok at fifty kg and the average height as one meter, which, by my calculations, makes them more than twice as massive as an average human of the same height
Endor
Harry Can't Wait for William to 'Suffer More' With New Baby
giving off sparks
living in a powder keg
it's just the swan
all the swans we know
all the songs we know
trompe l'oeil
it's still a gross domestic product
the awkward conversion of a manufacturing based economy to a rape based economy
poor Wicket
you have to admit that for all his faults, George Lucas never invented Planet Rape as an actual canon place that one of his main characters was from, unless you've seriously misunderstood Endor
one of them should be a fiery latina who walks like a stripper and is obsessed with an autistic boy because she comes from a planet where ninety percent of GDP is rape
that way, everyone is unhappy, but at least the sex is interesting
thinking having seen the regret every day for months now that the sure fire solution to being unable to come up with a mutually acceptable third person is simply for persons one and two to each select a person, persons three and four respectively
bag it up, Number One
having taken Yoda's advice and let go of your anger
the soundstage where the Enterprise bridge was created was inhabited by feral cats, so it was full of cat shit at first
imagining that Gene Roddenberry and Chris Lydon would have gotten on like a house on fire
the phrase "fully functional" is underlined when discussing Data
Lesley Crusher
wishing that the same people who kept Gene Roddenberry from putting three breasted Latina striptease queens in Star Trek had kept George Lucas from putting flying CGI space Jews in Star Wars
Macha Hernandez
Picard cannot help noticing that Beverly Crusher's natural walk resembles that of a striptease queen
forking Troi's boobs
In early brainstorming, the character was to have three breasts, but this was objected to by DC Fontana
troilism
see the politician sitting by the kitchen said he caught his fingers in the well he was wishing in
I, Varmint
Vitamin R
St Friedrich at the Benedictine abbey in Melk
bottoming for Toby Enema in My Crap Up Your Butt MDCCCXLVII
in eighteen forty seven a woman was given a liquid tobacco enema, supplemented with a chicken broth enema, and pills of opium and calomel, taken orally
being pretty sure there are people who have unhealthy obsessions with chicken broth
it would have to be something completely mundane and commonplace, like chicken broth or something
that the entire point of paraphilia is awareness that "normal" people find your fetish revolting, so the second we indentify something that nobody has fetishized, someone will want to fetishize it
Bulbasaur Bellsprout Chikorita
one day we'll discover something nobody has sexually fetishized or even wants to sexually fetishize
I don't even know why I bothered asking, of course there is
formicophilia
Batman bulge criticism
British boiled cockney
wondering if there is a genre of porn based around brain burrowing insect fetishism
beaucoup baise coule
Brian breasts champagne
bonny baby chihuahuas
bra burning ducks
broken bone collection
bra burning chicks
benign bowel cancer
burrowing brain centipedes
bureaucratic blame claim
Benjamin Buttocks's cans
Bob Barker's chode
bulging bluish clitoris
baked brick clay
the number of bonsai armies in Europe
getting a call from Chris Lydon in the early hours of the morning, in which he said only "It's me, come over" and then, quietly, "orf", and you knew that somehow, on some level, he was also the walrus
beautiful blouse collections
bums burning cattle
bottoming for Chris Lydon in both Brutal Butthole Carnage VII and Bruised Bloody Corpses VII
bruised bloody corpses
bust bearing chests
Bobby Brown's coke
Boutros Boutros Charlie
brain blasting crosswords
being British, cheerio
bright blue condoms
brutal butthole carnage
benevolent bedroom comfort
beautiful blind chick
big baculum cock
big bendy cock
not getting knocked down and not getting up again
The Return of Jerry Lee
putting the great ball in the balls pocket
BBC, like in porn
I won't call myself a failure, Failure is not getting knocked down, It's not getting up
Canada's Wank on Science
Canada's nice swan core
Canada's sincere wanco
having no music in your head lately
Curly Lip Rabbi Computers
Irish Data Rip, Eh
Irish Diaper Hat
Canada's Nice Raw Scone
Irish Apartheid
Canada's War on Science
an unnamed teamster shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
For years, Scott Rogers was known as the beloved host of the upbeat Around Town weekend show in Baton Rouge, Louisiana
an unnamed teamster thinking impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider on the set of Beetlejuice
an unnamed teamster thinking surly thoughts about Brigitte Helm on the set of Metropolis
Brigitte Helm having a comfort break on the set of Metropolis
wondering why it is illegal to slap or otherwise lightly assault a totally unnecessary and unhelpful middleman
Recruitment Conusltant
being slain by a neutral milk hotel
being slain by a neutral tantric bard
ILIAC library computers
pubic library computers
public library computers
that even though you wrote "is" instead of "isn't" in that last regret, you like the way it turned out, isn't it
that even though you wrote "is" instead of "isn't" in that last regret, you like the way it turned out
wondering how many times the Middletons have had to access the secret underground cloning vats to unfreeze another Baby George because Kate got a little frustrated and forgot that the best way to stop an infant from crying is to slam its head on concrete
imagining that the Middletons reproduce through an elaborate Minecraft style abstract resource gathering and pun heavy combination process
calling in to that radio station to win a date with Paul Simon and Sting
wondering if the Middletons use the same baby spawning service as Tom Cruise
Paul Simon and Sting announce twenty fifteen European tour having chili shits on a date
having dithecal AI, shit son
having shit chilis on a date
having Sith's chili on a date
ghost of Jacintha Saldanha unavailable for comment
Skeleton King said to be "Pleased"
Duchess of Cambridge pregnant with second child
Paul Simon and Sting announce twenty fifteen European tour
having chili shits on a date
Amihan is described as a bird who saves the first human beings, Malakas and Maganda from a bamboo plant
Chris Lydon's photo has been removed at the request of the American Library Association, due to the prevalence of ugly goth singers and fat gay Asians furiously masturbating to his picture on public library computers
Gromia sphaerica
Wikipedia also has a standing policy against the use of O face photographs to illustrate biographies of living persons
that Chris Lydon's photo has been removed from Wikipedia because the owner did not give permission for use, as the owner was a walrus and as Wikipedia has found to its cost in recent months animals cannot legally hold copyrights
star studded Ohio
that Chris Lydon's photo has been removed from Wikipedia
noting that the "star studded" list of celebrities appearing at Joan Rivers' funeral was topped by Kathie Lee Gifford and then adding the exclusive definition to your head dictionary that any list topped by Kathie Lee Gifford cannot be called star studded
Ohio
accidentally leaving your worn panties under your bed for nearly a week and noticing Obama in the crotch when you find them
that you didn't think it was possible, but Drew Carey is actually uglier now that he's offering to help police find those involved in dumping a bucket of urine and feces on a special needs teen in Ohio
Obama is the AntChrist
Fiesta de la Eurosalchicha
going to that Vienna Sausage Festival, it means nothing to me
going to that Vienna Sausage Festival
going to that Vagina Bread Festival
going to that Vagina Sausage Festival
going to that Vegan Sausage Festival
going to that Sausage Festival
Comedian Drew Carey is offering to help police find those involved in dumping a bucket of urine and feces on a special needs teen in Ohio who was reportedly told the prank was part of the "Ice Bucket Challenge"
drawing a picture of Gene Simmons's colon being threaded through by Dwayne Johnson's bizarre, lithified, Onixlike penis
Gene Simmons colon The Rock is finally dead
Maleficent II Colon Malefic Harder
Scottish education colon Statistics do not work that way
wondering how many teenagers with unhealthy Rambo or Terminator or whatever obsessions have shot up their schools or homes, including non fatal incidents
so many colon rocks
generations of inbreeding finally producing an actual sack of crap
David Cameron would "strain every sinew" if he had any sinews, but all he has is blubber, hair, and brylcreem
David Cameron would "strain every sinew" to make the case for the union
Scottish independence colon Yes camp hails 'momentum'
a man of his age needs to pay more attention to his diet, is just what I'm saying
that if Gene Simmons got more fiber in his diet he might not have so many colon rocks
Girl Attempts Murder For Slender Man, This Time By Setting House On Fire
drawing a picture of rock being Eiffel Towered by another fucking Beatles reissue and Gene Simmons
guessing that Gene Simmons doesn't want to hear that what killed rock was fat old men rereleasing the same old shit for decades on end
Chris Rhydon
Gene Simmons colon rock is finally dead
nature's sex in your hand, or a can, or a pie
nature's candy in your hand, or a can, or a pie
finding out that the young versions of the crew from the TNG episode "Rascals" are pretty much your own age, and finding it weird because they all looked so very, very young to you at the time it was first shown
not having Kento Ikeda to kick around any more
unfortunately, me no anal kidz has stopped, signed, Roman Polanski
not having Myke Hawke to kick around any more
not having Dick Nixon to kick around anymore
unfortunately, One M Anal Kidz has stopped, is what I meant to write
unfortunately, One M Naked Kidz has stopped
unfortunately, Zonked Animal has stopped
dropping your holy communion in the small of Hayden Sandman's back
Christblasting Hayden Sandman, if you know what I mean
interdicted internet
sandblasting Hayden Christensen, if you know what I mean
unfortunately, Amazon Kindle has stopped
sand shaving Christensen
mass shaving Christ
graphic Santa content
Santaism
graphic Sally content
graphic extraterrestrial contact
President Obama is an extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrials Visit Stonehenge
graphic sexual contact
shaving a cardboard booty
Sally Lowenthal
having a cardboard booty
saving Christmas
And oh how they danced
President Obama Visits Stonehenge
Satanism
Fowlrobics IV Colon Birds to Ogle
chin paint
faint APEC
graphic sexual content
where we're going we don't need comments
ears paint
chin death, a town in mourning
chin death
arse paint
ass paint
face paint
Big Red Tool Colon Clifford the Big Red Dog the Un Authorised Biography
but definitely not the last
Big Red Tool was the first Wiggles video to be banned from the airwaves for graphic sexual content
bird to ogle, cheerio
Go bred toil
bi ogre dolt
big red tool
bird to ogle
goo driblet
blog editor
giblet odor
booted girl
older bigot
tiger blood
three and a half socks
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic teat rape fat chin death googling TILT
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic teat rape fat chin death
googling TILT
winning the Teen Choice Award for Greatest Dane with forty three and a half socks
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic death threat face paint
Surgery on ailing Great Dane yields forty three and a half socks
you guys across the pond still have a lot of work to do before you can even think of podracing a Jesse Ventura, though
long marriage kilt
gorilla marketing
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with the candlestick' 'in the conservatory'
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with the mace'
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with machete'
Clown Atlas, honk honk
the cure is Swannekke
pretending to be a very dark blue seal
pretending to be a walrus
Jimmy "Big Boy" Valente, a self aggrandizing former Navy WALRUS turned professional wrestler turned politician
Those streets in St Paul must have been designed by drunken Irishmen
pretending to be a seal
you guys across the pond still have a lot of work to do before you can even think of producing a Jesse Ventura, though
it's just a shame this fine candidate has been denied the opportunity to shine on the national stage
politics needs more prison rape analogies
An alien lifeform seen on a viewscreen depicting Data from the Enterprise D library computer
An alien lifeform seen on a viewscreen depicting data from the Enterprise D library computer
Justin Timberlake was fingered as an Illuminati operative
areound
The only reason your favourite actor never writes back to you is because, even though they're super successful, they're secretly really shy areound the people that they like!
the death of Joan Rivers
preferring Europe's supposed festive nudearama
Now that Douglas Carswell is Nigel's bitch, he will perpetually be picking up the political equivalent of prison soap
Comedic Photos of California's Lindsay Lohan
Dramatic Photos of California's Lindsay Lohan
Dramatic Photos of California's Rich Drug Ho Tits
Dramatic Photos of California's Historic Hog Turd
Dramatic Photos of California's Rich Hot Grits Duo
that "there's a certain amount of tolerance" for rubbing one out in the bathroom at church
that "there's a certain amount of tolerance" for going to the bathroom during cosmic realm
Dramatic Photos of California's Historic Drought
that "there's a certain amount of tolerance" for going to the bathroom during commercials
Lewis Galoob Toys, Inc v Nintendo of America, Inc
Bantha fodder was a type of food eaten by Banthas
the engines were fueled by tradium power fluid pressurized with quold runium, activated with ionized injectrine
Disney's Dug
really wishing you'd hung on to that last one for Regret One Hundred Thousand, because gems like that just don't come to you so often or easily any more
telling from the way he uses his walk Sebulba is a podracer's Dug, no time to talk like Watto
confusing the way Watto talks with the way Sebulba looks
confusing Watto with Sebulba, poodoo
weird things that come out of google translate for no apparent reason
Bononian Rufa fellates Rufulus
that there's a really clever casting decision in Coherence that impressed you, but you don't want to talk about it because it would spoil what is actually a very good film for anyone who hasn't seen it
the new trend of the twenty thirties of having one arms that's like a foot, think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that
the new trend of the twenty thirties of having one arms that's like a foot
it still makes more sense as a fashion trend than uggs
the new trend of the twenty thirties of having one arms that's like a foot longer than the other
guessing that most people who get their arms shortened are not like "wow, my arms are way too long!" and that it has to do with having one longer than the other, so most people only have one done, I guess
wondering how much an arm shortening costs
watching Coherence and wondering if Nicholas Brendon has had some work done, specifically on his arms, specifically, shortening them, because they seem short
wondering if a better, more successful you from another universe will drop in later on to rape and murder you for shits and giggles
being pretty torn between Information Technology, Dramatherapy and Shooting Yourself in the Head
thinking about doing a conversion course and getting an IT qualification but then thinking "well, fuck, those are expensive and it's not like there's a growing demand or a great wage at the end of it"
Dramatherapy
wanting to do a GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT thing with the various postgrad options you're looking at, since if you take one of them up you'll inevitably pick a stupid choice that isn't suited to you at all
wondering why it is that the bottom regrets list tends to cycle through, seemingly randomly, the regrets with a perfect zero index, whereas the top regrets remains pretty much static most of the time even though there are a lot of regrets with a one index
LOAD "KENTO" ,eight,one
castrating that Finn
Justin Bieber called a hoser during snowmobile in Canada, eh
Justin Bieber called an asshole during ATV crash in Canada
Justin Bieber called an asshole before ATV crash in Canada
Justin Bieber called an asshole after ATV crash in Canada
Justin Bieber charged with assault after ATV crash in Canada having a cummerbund like a sausage dick
Justin Bieber charged with assault after ATV crash in Canada
having a cummerbund like a sausage dick
having a sausage like a Cumberbatch dick
Captain Worf
"Piaf" is, until today, a Parisian argot word for "bird, sparrow"
drawing a picture of Kento being threaded through by Chris Lydon's bisected, fried, Cumberland sausagelike penis
halving a dick like a Cumberland sausage
having a dick like a Cumberland sausage
"Well", says the tiny man, "Make that two cups of coffee very hot and sweet"
"Well, neither am I"
"That's right"
so, on the fourth day when the tiny man said, "I want a cup of very hot, sweet coffee" the tough guy goes to him and says "So you're afraid of no one"
the cafe owner said nothing, he was afraid of a scandal, but when the tiny man repeated the trick a few times the cafe owner said "I've had it, I'll get a tough guy to beat up this tiny man if he comes back"
he drank his coffee and didn't pay
he left
he drank his coffee
One day a tiny man entered a North Zone cafe and said "I want a cup of very hot, sweet coffee" adding "I shan't pay, because I fear no one"
that guy's cock was so bent you could throw it and it would come back to you, Kento had no choice but to do what he did
the rules clearly state that hands "may be used to stabilise the penis in the event of anatomical failure and slash or deformity of the recipient, but any use of hands to provide direct sexual gratification is grounds for immediate disqualification"
Tarzan versus IBM
Eiffeleux en Paname
that French judge had it in for him because he didn't like an American being the Eiffel Towering World Champion
that although Kento Ikeda took home the gold in the Teabagging competition at the London Oral Sex Olympics, he is best remembered for his otherwise flawless performance in the Lick Job event that was controversially thrown out due to illegal use of hands
defying your government to compete in the Oral'nyy seks Spartakiada
accepting that peanut butter endorsement deal, thereby losing your amateur status and disqualifying yourself from the Oral Sex Olympics
being an enthusiastic amateur
not being sure your cunt lapping was ever professionally rated
not having lapped cunt in so long you fear your cunt lapping has been downgraded from first rate to second, or possibly even third, rate
thinking that there are at least three of us that come at least a couple of days each week, and at least two others that come a couple of times a month
wondering what getting one of the hundreds of Chris Lydon regrets is going to feel like after he inevitably dies in the near future
flippers everywhere
it's walruses all the way down
if you want a vision of the future imagine a walrus Eiffel Towering Kento, forever
one hundred bears of solitude
returning to the assumption that the amazing Regret Index is just two people, even though it probably isn't
it will be like the last couple of weeks with just you and me questioning whatever dumb posting habits we've picked up, and the occasional guest regrets from former posters
one hundred years
wondering what it will be like when we make it to one hundred thousand regrets
nine DECADES
nine years
five years
the very notion that Kento would ever lick for a job
the very notion that Kento would ever be the recipient of oral sex
wondering how many emails the Brothers Chaps get every week even though there hasn't been a new Strong Bad email in almost five years
the very notion that Kento would ever look for a job
genuinely wondering if anyone Kento has tried to get a lick job with has ever googled him to see what comes up and ended up in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
genuinely wondering if anyone Kento has tried to get a job with has ever googled him to see what comes up and ended up here
having peanut butter on your genitals and not being afraid to let Clifford the Big Red Dog lick it
having butter on your paws and not being afraid to lick it
Vital Signs is the fifth studio album by the American rock band Survivor and their first with vocalist Jimi Jamison
the ironic death of Jimi Jamison
the death of Jimi Jamison
having an ass that temporarily quits
having a butt on pause and not being afraid to use it
having a pause button and not being afraid to use it
putting a bit of lava in your bum
that you could really go for some lewder volcano mistress
drawing a picture of sis being towered by an ovoid wrestler an erect mandrill
being lain by a cruel anal lab
being lain by a dwarven collie monster
being slain by a dwarven collie monster
being unable to concentrate on subtitles and listen to frankly weird vocal choices and understand a tortuous plot and read about divorced almonds getting the vote
the essence of the so called capitalist world or the communist world is not an evil volition to subject their people by the power of indoctrination or the power of finance but simply the natural ambition of any organization to plan all its actions HOOORRK
swan divorcees
feeling almost ready to vomit listening to the vomity sounding French guy doing the voice over for Alphaville
SWAN DIVORCEE SMELLS ROT
intelligent nuts
CLEVER ALMOND TOWERS SIS
VOTER OWNS RIMLESS DECAL
SMALL RED ERECTIONS' VOWS
DWARVES' COLLIE MONSTERS
ERECT MANDRILLS WOVE SOS
I've travelled nine thousand kilometres to give it to you
LEWDER VOLCANO MISTRESS
OVOID WRESTLER CALMNESS
all things weird are normal in this whore of cities
CORROSIVES MELTED LAWNS
DEVIL'S SNOWSTORM CEREAL
BETAville
wondering who would want to see naked pics of leaking Robin Williams
Alphaville
leaking Robin Williams' naked selfies on the internet
Naked 'selfies' colon Swiss parliament secretary loses job
Chesty XIV
that five frogs, launched into space for an experiment on toasting cheese and ham sandwiches, have died
that five geckos, launched into space for an experiment on weightlessness and sexual behavior, have died
that was impressive
okay, I'm done
EVIL STRESS CAULDRON, MEOW
RODENT VISCERA'S SMELL, OW
VELDT SINWORM CASSEROLE
ELVES' REAL WRIST CONDOMS
WOLVES RECLAIMED SNORTS
ACRID SEMEN REVOLTS OWLS
VILEST CREOLE SWORDSMAN
WORDLESS VOMIT CLEANSER
A CLEVER MODERNIST'S OWLS
EVILER CROSSTOWN DAMSEL
CORNROW SEDATIVES SMELL
lending your mast wolverine charger to a careless cordless mast wolverine owner
SCARLET NEWSROOM DEVILS
CORDLESS MAST WOLVERINE
MORTAL LOVED SCREWINESS
MICROWAVED TROLL SENSES
INVERTED CELLO ASS WORMS
WORST COLD ENEMA SLIVERS
MOVIE SCREWS TEN DOLLARS
alt dot nerd dot obsessive
Captain's Log, supplemental, Bones didn't like my drawing
when you wake up and start posting regrets about not getting this or that aspect of modern life and suddenly realise how much you've lost
when you wake up and you can tell that it's raining from the sound the traffic makes as it passes your window
not being sure you've ever seen a Jennifer Lawrence movie
still feeling pretty terrible for people who got caught out by having their private stash put on show for the whole world
that there's a really huge clue as to why you don't get it about six thousand regrets back, but still, you don't really get it
guessing that both are simple pair bonding exercises but not really being able to imagine the internal process leading to either
not really understanding selfie culture or the offshoot slash parallel where couples produce amateur pornography for one another
DAMN IT, JIM! I'M A DOCTOR, NOT A PORN STAR!
Chan Kong sang
drawing a picture of Ash being Goldenrod Towered by Professor Rowan and a Rhyperior
you're tearing me apart Lisa!
Ash's father is a Ditto
that Delia Ketchum didn't keep Mimey around for his good looks
Pokemon trainers were free to enjoy sex with Pokemon without a perceived loss of masculinity or social status, as long as they took the dominant or penetrative role
wondering what kind of legal or social restrictions there are on human slash Pokemon sexual relationships
hearing about The Great Labor Day Weekend Celebrity Nude Leak on twitter but assuming it was limited to one couple you couldn't really place
drawing a picture of DeForrest Kelley in the vinegar strokes, balls deep in Anne Robinson on the floor of the Weakest Link studio
The Great Labor Day Weekend Celebrity Nude Leak
Vitzo suggested to him that he should get rid of Smoochum because he feared that his reputation would be ruined, but what he should have been worrying about was Brad ruining Smoochum, amirite
drawing a picture of the entire cast of Star Trek running a train on Anne Robinson, with Riker cumming in third
Brad Van Darn
Frakes was the last contestant eliminated before the final round with Anne Robinson saying to him "It appears you came in third, Riker, meow," cheerio
Frakes was the last contestant eliminated before the final round with Anne Robinson saying to him "It appears you came in third, Riker"
De Lancie was the first contestant eliminated with Anne Robinson saying to him "John, I am afraid that's your Q to leave"
Lachlan's mob bosoms
Lachlan's mom's boobs
Lachlan's first hearing aids
ROCKY the French Bulldog puppy jumping
Francois Alexandre Galepides having to ask you a question
James Michael Curley
buggering the question
beggen the question
an imaginary old Saxon word beggen, "to beg" or "to pray"
Agnes Blannbekin
Chris Lydon
circumcising Chris Lydon but failing to dispose of the prepuce correctly and thereby allowing it to regenerate into a second Chris Lydon
Chris Lydon's clitellum
wondering if it's even possible to circumcise a bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis
Kento's windfalls
Kento's low hanging fruit
eating that whole thing of buffalo meat and dying of dysentery in bed
overhearing a forty year old tattooed chainsmoking woman refer to her breasts as "the Koch brothers" while eating at a restaurant you now realize is beneath you
you have died of dysentery
only being able to carry one hundred pounds of meat back to the wagon
serving a cook a mousie
serving a mouse a cookie
drawing a picture of Kento's sanctity being undermined by like five gays
not starting that talking, I could talk all night
feeling like the obvious anagram of "Kento Uncut" is such low hanging fruit that even though it's Kento, you just can't be bothered
Eiffel Towering the sanctity of marriage
hey guyth, remember Lithpknot
I blame the gays for undermining the sanctity of marriage
knowing someone your own age who has not only gotten married but also divorced
hey guys, remember Lispknot
hey guys, remember Slipknot
Slipknot's less popular but sanitised single, "People Equal Frogs"
it's got to be better than flies and stuff
just wanting anurans to be able to enjoy grilled ham and cheese sandwiches
how powerful a euphemism "they weren't happy together" can be
your friend leaving his wife and young children to start a new family with someone younger who, you assume, is less likely to call him out on his conspiracy theory bullshit and random anger at unsolveable problems
it was not the racial thing
overhearing a forty year old tattooed chainsmoking woman refer to her breasts as "the twins" while eating at a restaurant you now realize is beneath you
serving a hawk Myke Hawke monsieur
serving a rabbit a Welsh rarebit
I couldn't tell if that was the joke you were going for, or if you were doing some kind of French people equal frogs thing
serving a frog a croak monsieur
serving a frog a croque monsieur
Kento Uncut
A cheese sandwich is a basic sandwich made generally with one or more slices of any kind of cheese on any sort of bread
in the kitchen not realizing that the ticket is in the sandwich he made and puts the remaining ingredients he was going to put on plus the other bread and starts eating the sandwich, Kenan comes back and sees that Kel is eating the sandwich and he got sad
Kenan and Kel appeared in their house where Kenan was looking for the lottery ticket while Kel is making a sandwich and Kenan finds it and accidentally puts it in the sandwich that Kel was making and runs and says that he found the ticket, Kel comes back
lightswitch raves
doing masturbation to your male partners baculum
doing masturbation to your male partners dick
clean Frenchman
filthy Frenchman
Fannie Flagg
Father fucker Fist fucking Fat Fuck Freshly fucked Fatal Fury Final Fight Front Engine
freindly fire Fire fight Flying fuck Flaming Fist Frostfire fortissimo focus fire Front Wheel Drive Forum faggot Freedom Fries finds funny False Friend Fake fuck Foot Fucker Fucking Fool Fan Fiction Final Fantasy Front flip fun fuck Fucking freak
Foot fucking a type of masturbation that women do to their male partners dick
#ff
ff
Alan's sweater, John takes Alan's sweater, Alan's sweater, John must take it off, John has put it on again, Alan takes it off him then, on again, off again, on again, off again, Alan's sweater, John takes Alan's sweater, Alan's sweater John must take it o
fat gay Alaskans
not knowing Frank Sinatra was a gay Alaskan until now
that Riker cat, meow
when that Riker cat sent out that antimatter spread, it was platinum, dollface, ring a ding ding!
being unable to even imagine Frank Sinatra talking about Captain Picard escaping from the Borg
Icy T R Enema, British artist, created a hand semen stained blanket entitled Star Trek Voyager, cheerio
Tracey Emin, British artist, created a hand semen stained blanket entitled Star Trek Voyager, cheerio
Tracey Emin, British artist, created a hand sewn blanket entitled Star Trek Voyager, cheerio
Frank Sinatra "never missed" The Next Generation
listening to Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence" while having choke sex with Philip Glass
queefing squid's milk during a toast at a PETA convention to celebrate Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding, l'Chaim!
Animal rights group PETA has named a pair of rescued chinchillas after Hollywood couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who got married at the weekend, as a gift to mark the occasion
listening to Berlin's "A Yak Be Thy Raw Meat" while having ox cheeks
listening to Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" while having ox cheeks
going black and being unable to go back
Songs to Have Choke Sex To
listening to Bow Wow Wow's "Sexy Eiffel Tower" while having choke sex
listening to The Beatles's "I am the Walrus" while having choke sex
listening to The Dresden Dolls's "Christopher Lydon" while having choke sex
with Irving Berlin
in Berlin
listening to Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" while having choke sex
Pablo Phoenix
A Big Rig's Nuts, Child Detective
Austin Briggs, Cliched Diet Vet
Austin Briggs, Child Detective
peaceful oat goblins
raisin zeta jones
smutty iron chloride, um
humidity control serum
wondering whatever happened to Bicoid Babe anyway
put a walrus in my bed, Eiffel Towered me red
mama, just kissed a man
fat bottomed gay Asians, you make the rockin' world go round
I want to ride my bicycle ass, I want to ride my bike ass
BIIIIIICYCLE! BIIIIIICYCLE! BIIIIIICYCLE!
that you could really go for some bicycle ass
Crater senses reportedly detect sin in estranged luggage on a biweekly arse
that you could really go for some bicoid ass
that you could really go for some biweekly ass
Crater senses reportedly detect inert grenades in luggage on a biweekly ass
Crater senses reportedly detect inert grenades in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect Sting need rear in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect garnets in deer in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect ensnared tiger in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect inserted anger in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect inert grenades in luggage on a weekly basis
something about Steak n Shake
A tuxedoed Boston man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a fat gay Asian in an alcove in the city's nightlife district
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when he accidentally interrupted you while you were being pleasured in an alcove in the city's nightlife district when you were a kid
A tuxedoed Seattle man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a woman in an alcove in the city's nightlife district, a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, yeah!
A tuxedoed Seattle man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a woman in an alcove in the city's nightlife district
that's pretty dark
Lavendar McDade is an evil old woman who wants to enslave the Cabbage Patch Kids in her gold mine
Babyland General Hospital
wondering how much a Charles Barkley cabbage patch kid goes for on ebay
lending your bunnybees to a dishonest ten year old bunnybee keeper
remembering being frightened of some of the Garbage Pail Kids
Cabbage Patch Kids were named the official mascot of the nineteenninetytwo US Olympic team and members of the team were given their own guys to take to the games
Cabbage Patch Kids were named the official mascot of the nineteenninetytwo US Olympic team and members of the team were given their own dolls to take to the games
their mom ate two of them
a ten year old boy who discovered the Cabbage Patch Dogs by following a BunnyBee behind a waterfall into a magical valley, where he found the Cabbage Patch puppies being born
a ten year old boy who discovered the Cabbage Patch Kids by following a BunnyBee behind a waterfall into a magical valley, where he found the Cabbage Patch babies being born
Indiana Jones and the Repressors of the Milt Cabin Ark
the ark cabin of milt repressing
the miracle of breastsprinking
the miracle of breastfeeding
being your own kid food
Lorne Greene, Greene as the wind blows, as Greene as the grass grows, Lorne Greene to follow your heart
eating your own dog food
getting a reaming from a Roman
Benedict Cabbagepatch
scotch water
wretch tacos
cows chatter
two catchers
crotch sweat
Lyon Himan Green
furtively wangling your Wilhelm with Wilhelm Furtwangler
I'd like some mixed flowers for my eunuch
just like in a modern fraternity
Roman men were free to enjoy sex with other males without a perceived loss of masculinity or social status, as long as they took the dominant or penetrative role
catamite
queer
wondering who's one foam queen, Kate Middleton or Kento Ikeda
wondering who's more of a queen, Kate Middleton or Kento Ikeda
you would love to take her home but her heart is made of stone
muscle and blood and skin and bones a mind that's a weak and a back that's strong
oh lucky you
oh what a lucky man he was
buying Senators of the Old Republic in a Steam sale and feeling guilty every time you log in and don't finish your report on commodities prices in the core worlds because you're too busy grinding Jedi for XP
Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse, Senator of the Old Republic
getting a regret about freakishly fat gay Asian Kento Ikeda and fact checking it, discovering that while he is undoubtedly fat and gay, he isn't particularly Asian
I didn't know you were getting married so quickly
swanderful, sexceptional
sometimes we have a wonderful time together and other times it's no fun at all
Monsieur le Wise Guy
getting a regret about freakishly tall skeleton queen Kate Middleton and fact checking it, discovering that while she is undoubtedly freakish and a skeleton, she isn't particularly tall
she's the gayest girl in the world
they might be saying the same thing over here, but, it sounds better in French
Senator, I served with Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse, I knew Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse, Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse was a friend of mine, Senator, you're no Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse
Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse is Dismissed
eating that whole thing of wasp nest and puking in bed
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall accompanied by Kento, two pounds of jalapenos in one hand and an ice pick in the other, cheerio
an enormous wasp nest covering a bed
Picasso Museum's President Is Dismissed
jalapenos really getting into Kento's arse lately, cheerio
meandering around Tate St Ives thinking about Kento's arse for no particular reason
really getting into jalapenos lately
Kento's arse, cheerio
taking the suitcase of mammaries challenge
taking the arse bucket challenge
the amazing Arse Index
how alien it seems to you to see other people use the word arse, even though you long since gave up on hiding your own British English spelling
putting a vat of labia in your arse
putting a bit of lava in your arse
putting a bit of lava in your ears
that your ears have been burning for two days
writing ellipse instead of ellipsis, because apparently you're as stupid as you feel
closing your eyes only for a moment, and the moment's gone
just rolling back the sheets and there you were
the voodoo who do what you don't dare do people
being ready to riot
loving me 'til I want no more
I haven't always been under such a blue
hitting return instead of backspace, but thinking of it as enter, because they're fundamentally indistinguishable for amazing Regret Index purposes
hitting enter instead of backspace
maybe you'll fucking walk right past someone you should by rights never encounter again, and only realize that you did hours later, when it doesn't matter and you can't be certain in any case, or perhaps you'll be horribly burned by boiling liquids
wondering what terrible things October will bring
suitcase of mammaries
to risk your heart
suitcase of memories
lionbutts
buttlions
like seriously there was one about butts and one about lions and you can't fucking fiiind them, it's so aggravating to think you just imagined them
wondering what's up with photographer Jane these days
looking for specific regrets you're sure you both saw and responded to, often with parrot regrets, which don't seem ever to have existed
mistaking three commas for an ellipse
wondering how much more annoying we could make the amazing Regret Index,,, if it were possible to use ellipses
wondering how much more annoying we could make the amazing Regret Index if it were possible to use eclipses
there are things we can not do, words we can not say
wondering how much more annoying we could make the amazing Regret Index if it were possible to use ellipses
I wanna C U Oh, my God!
more like Superpubica, amirite
Superpublica
Mangetsu man
staining the hugest toe
IMF's Christine Lagarde 'unstained toe virgin'
IMF's Christine Lagarde 'under investigation'
saying hello to sad mamas
saying hello to madam ass
screaming vegan pees
always soiling when you scream pees
always smiling when you see a corspe
being automatically associated with those who use redditor lucis aeternae
disinterring Laurence Olivier's corspe and prodding the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated fat gay Asians
redditor lucis aeternae
making Kento jokes around someone who has the misfortune to eat Kento
making Kento jokes around someone who has the misfortune to be Kento
Laurence Olivier prods fat Kento
Laurence Olivier as Dr Totenkopf
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who has had a miscarriage
TannadiceLad
making squid's milk jokes around someone who is queefing squid's milk at a PETA convention
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who is eating Eiffel Towered
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who is being Eiffel Towered
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who has been Eiffel Towered
making miscarriage jokes around someone who has had a miscarriage
Part time Customer Service and Sales Ass
the Walruses of Navarone
Swans of the Western Front
Horse Soldiers of Nine Eleven
wondering what's up with Myke Hawke these days
wondering what's up with the French Regretter or the Regretter in France these days
considering writing the regret "wondering what's up with the French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson these days" but remembering that he's probably dead
SHAFT
wondering what's up with the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks these days
not having seen the homeless married girl who sells magazines in a while, but thinking she's doing pretty OK as far as you can tell
wondering what's up with Schroedinger's sweet but chaotic nutter these days
wondering what's up with the fat gay Asian who posts in a stupid forum for children and complaints like a whiny shewoman these days
wondering what's up with the blonde vegan dietician these days
wondering what's up with the one legged Pakistani girl these days
wondering what's up with the homeless married girl who sells magazines these days
wondering what's up with the slim double D cup blond national merit scolar cellist these days
wondering what's up with the huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth these days
A Wolf Mines Coitus Study For Busty Dancer Ho, Gee
Woman Files Coitus Study For Beyonce's Daughter
Woman Files Custody Suit For Chesty Urban Geode
Woman Files Custody Suit For Busty Dancer Ho, Gee
who's going to put out for old Seamus
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall alone, then coming out two hours later accompanied by Eggs Benedict and Eggs Nargesi
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall alone, then coming out two hours later accompanied by Dirk Benedict and Dirk Nowitzki
having shat dirks
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Predator starring Demi Moore as the rich old predator would be interesting
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Indecent Proposal starring Michael Moore as the obese old predator would be fitting
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Indecent Proposal starring Chris Lydon as the rich old predator would be horrifying
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Indecent Proposal starring Demi Moore as the rich old predator would be interesting
that you may actually mean Paul Newman but you're pretty sure you mean Redford, whom you first remember as the wrinkly old man paying Demi Moore for sex
feeling like Brad Pitt only got a break in acting through resembling a young Robert Redford physically
wondering what the fuck was so wrong with audiences in the NINETIES that they decided to make Tom Cruise a movie star
finding out that you're moving due to economic factors beyond your control
having very little control over your sleeping pattern
being one of the very small group of people for whom mono is a recurrent problem almost fifteen years later
wondering if we are two people doing multiple announces each day or still half a dozen people doing one each
Woman Files Custody Suit For Beyonce's Daughter
he was pretty and appeared sincere, and it was prior to the advent of knowing every fucking thing about people in the public eye whether they wanted you to or not
Man who brought Gandhi alive dead
'Pig Perfume' Stops Dogs From Behaving Badly
having dark shits
wondering what the fuck was so wrong with audiences in the eighties that they decided to make Tom Cruise a movie star
risky business
oblivion
Eggpythians
Egpyt
regret three six two six two
going to the trouble of making Sean Connery learn to sound like Spanish Sean Connery in a film part set in Scotland where the origin of his character and any national identity arising therefrom would surely make him Egyptian
there can be only one, I'll chin ye
Longer sex scene between Connor and Brenda
Hzerofourone
a complete psychic connection to everyone and everything in the world
the Kurgan
CH'DING
you can't try a husband and wife for the same crime
Canadagrams
ordonnant le jarret d'agneau
ordering the vegan lamb shank
ordering the lamb shanked
bra and thong milkers, eh
ordering the lamb shank
settling for anagrammed junk
settling for monogrammed junk
settling for monognome junk
you will never find a more wretched hive of gnomes and plaster garden ornaments
wondering how many gnome themed cantinas there are
settling for monochrome junk
wondering how many gnome themed nightclubs there are
George Lucas's habit of endlessly tinkering with things leading him to always want to change the color of his lovers' privates
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to blacken smothering jugs
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to bleach most niggers' junk
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to jerk a nightclub's gnomes
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to sing the Lumberjack Song
flooding the hole compartment
putting a bit of lava in the drum
flooding the whole compartment
sunshine units
vile and swot
a devil's town
deviant owls
starting a company and making daiquiris
Attenborough Park
violet wands
wondering if Richard Attenborough's email address was turbocharged at rhino dot com
the death of a turbocharged rhino T
the death of Richard Attenborough
having no monkees in your band
having no monkeys in your band
always getting the tune of Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm mixed up with the theme from the A Team in your head
Eh Eh Eh Eh
having no monks in your band
being in the wilds of Norfolk, far from the Internet all day
starting a company and making misery
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
a seventy four year old man singing about having a "pet" twenty six year old fat gay Asian
a thirty seven year old man singing about having a "pet" sixteen year old girl
wanting a web service like downforeveryoneorjustme that instead tells you whether a site is slow for everyone or just you
you're sixteen
letting Ringo sing
agalmatophilia
seeing an ad for Katy Perry's new perfume and assuming that it was for Evony
listening to people bickering over a cheesecake
getting a regret about Paris Hilton and remembering that she is actually a person who really exists
finding molasses candy
having offered to have a grown up conversation before and been rebuffed
in all seriousness from lack of something better to do
chasing alimony from a parsimonious parson in Allegheny
William William Shatnar Houston Geldof
Transparent Luminescent Solar Concentrators Geldof
transparent luminescent solar concentrators
anagrams burned down my village, stole our cattle and poisoned our well
I find anagrams physically repulsive
I don't even like anagrams
you started it
seriously, why do we do this
you have to admit a sweat, my purist
you have to admit 'twas mature yips
you have to admit 'twas pirates, yum
you have to admit 'twas my rape suit
you have to admit it's trauma we spy
you have to admit it's partway emus
you have to admit it's payware smut
you have to admit it's way smut rape
you have to admit it's raw musty ape
that's just horrible
a sweaty rump in a watery sump way upstrea
you have to admit it's raw pusy meat
you have to admit it's way upstream
you have to admit it's a watery sump
you have to admit it's a sweaty rump
you have to admit it's a pretty rump
tattooing the grossest rump
you have to admit it's a pretty gross tattoo
I'm really into edging and a gross rump tattooer
Overheat bikini aims to take ova to a new level, deaths, angry investors expected
Hoverbike aims to take aviation to a new level, deaths, angry investors expected
he's not into getting caught in a bathroom stall unless it's raining
seeing Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one hand and a pina colada in the other
I'm really into pina coladas and getting caught in the rain
I'm really into edging and post orgasm murder
forgetting the Alamo
kinkipedia
Cocaine Stuffed Tamales Seized at Houston Airport, YEEEEE HAWWWWW!
Cocaine Stuffed Tamales Seized at Houston Airport
I'm really into edging and post orgasm torture
being dank soy pimps
being so damn skippy
being fed worn soul
being so wonderful
KING British EMPIRE
Lord British
Pokemon Eiffel et Tour
Pokemon Noir et Blanc
afin d'augmenter la vitesse d'un chariot destine a poursuivre le train de laTeam Rocket
Ohmassacre
having to cancel your subscription to Mistaek magazine because you took it out in error
having to cancel your subscription to Mistake magazine because you took it out in error
having to cancel your subscription to Pisstake magazine because of the exchange rate taking the piss
having to cancel your subscription to Moosesteak magazine because of the exchange rate
wondering if Alaskans get slightly below freezing under the collar for Canadian moosesteaks like Hayden Christensen, eh, meow
moose steak, actually
wondering whether Hayden Christensen smells more like Canadian bacon, poutine, or maple syrup
drawing a picture of Hayden Christensen being covered in Canadian bacon, eh
a tendency to consider things at length until the moment has passed and the thinking was a waste of time that achieved nothing
thinking things over excessively
overthinking
drawing a picture of Hayden Christensen being covered in pork
"cover me Porkins", well, fuck
being unable to decode "covers me in pork" and considering the author a fiend of the highest order
my bile
blimey
covers me in pork
a lovely amorous try in far Theed
into huge beach target, flyboy
Pee Now, Ah
New Ape, Oh
Whoa, Peen
The Empire Kick Breasts
Runt For Thee, Jedi
The Ace Nap Moth Men
Attack of Leech Snot
an excessive amount of opaque fluid
Wad's Rape Stories I Weapon, Eh
Homsar, Iran
Fattest Cock Loan, Eh
A Hot Encampment, Eh
Jet of Intruder, Eh
Beret Team Skis Pricks, Eh
Weapon, Eh
Fervent Ego Shit, Eh
Revenge of the Shit
sandshit
sandspit
shitspit
wondering if whoever invented the word "Sith," be it George Lucas himself or some expanded universe writer, just made an anagram of "shit"
'MythBusters' fan favorites Tory Belleci, Kari Byron and Grant Imahara axed from show
Man who at pot candy must stand trial in killing
imgur dot com slash gallery slash EsPBAIV
'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o'
a Tam o' Shanter called police to complain that the xp mana twins' pivot hindered him
a man on manta called police to complain that the experts did not have rips with him
a Montana man called police to complain that the stripper did not have sex with him
being stumped as to whether the forcible sodomy was giving or receiving and feeling like the world is becoming an alien place in many regards
otherwise known as "The Polanski Special"
Caswell now faces three counts of second degree rape, two counts of enticing a child, and one count of forcible sodomy
Teacher Jennifer Caswell Charged With Rape After Being Found With Teen In Hotel
Ice T Accidentally Recorded A Dungeons & Dragons Audiobook
pitching Mrs Saltire, a comedy in which Goran Ragnerstam plays a has been politician trying to win back his electorate by wearing a skirt and talking with a silly Scottish accent to disguise himself
Mrs Doubtfire Sequel Now Unlikely
winning the Academy Award for Better Than Digging a Ditch with seventeen votes
watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it's better than digging a ditch
furiously wanking Jim Carrey masturbate furiously
furiously watching Jim Carrey masturbate furiously
furiously watching Jim Carrey masturbate
watching Jim Carrey masturbate furiously
watching Jim Carrey masturbate furiously in reverse while he thinks he is alone and unobserved in Academy Award winning masterpiece, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
questing of son's fib
that one definitely wasn't
wondering if there is a joke that is funnier when told in reverse chronology
Sting's Boffo Sequin
Biff's Question Song
Chris Lydon responds, "Kento is picking watermelons, meow"
All the while this is happening, Chris Lydon is laughing, and the farmer asks him why this is so
Chris Lydon brings back two buckets of grapes, and the farmer then begins stuffing them, one by one, up his ass
The next morning, the farmer, taking the two captive at gunpoint, demands that they go and fill two buckets with any kind of fruit on his farm
In the middle of the night, the farmer hears noises coming from the barn, and investigates, finding Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and his walrus
The gruff, shotgun wielding farmer agrees to let them stay the night, on the condition that they don't have sex with his walrus
Kento and Chris Lydon are backpacking through Alaska, when a freak blizzard breaks out and they are forced to seek shelter in a nearby farmhouse
wondering if American cats say "meow" and British cats say "miaow" and they get into edit wars on Felixipedia about it
being able to shit up to twenty five watermelon seeds an hour
that you're gonna shit out like a hundred watermelon seeds in like four hours
Seward's folly, meow
appending "meow" to every Sarah Palin quote in Wikipedia
spooning Jewel's boobs, meow
eating spicy food snotty mom panache
shorting your short term memory
spicy migraines
meow
just assuming that Alaskans append "miaow" to every sentence
Alaskan watermelons, into a hunky waif, meow
eating spicy food onto spaceman myth
eating spicy food over an empty stomach
eating spicy food in an empty stomach
almost
eating spicy food on an empty stomach and puking in bed
eating spicy food on an empty stomach
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of snow elf's ear zen rum on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
taking the hugest dump of azure fennel's worms to the head and being instantly killed
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of azure fennel's worms on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
Alaskan watermelons, if you know what I mean
Alaskan watermelon
eating frozen watermelon
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of worn furze salesmen on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
encouraging women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians
in France they just took out the Eiffel Tower and said Bart went to Italy
the fading of the blort
"It's tragic, I feel for all the band members who were still there when it happened, that they had to see that," said nursing student Julie Smith
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of frozen walrus semen on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
a prostitute who has laid with every language of steaks n shakes
fantastic breasts and where to sprink them
a prostitute who has laid with every language of savages and idiots
Ice bucket challenge goes awry, firefighters hurt
the death of Robert Hansen
object to which the action of the sea is directed
fantastic beasts & where to fuck them
fantastic blorts & where to find them
Hank Ketchum of the Hill
Alaska
fantastic breasts & where to find them
fantastic beasts & where to find them
being filled with a feeling you can only describe as blort
that must have been hard to hear
Beheaded journalist spoke at SDSU months before kidnapping
our ears or labia at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen
bottoming for Wolfgang Fist in Draggin' Ballz VII
WOLF FANG FIST!
messing up your face putting it in a Pokemon
diaouretics
diauretics
dianetics
writing "in the Pokemon" instead of "in the Pokemon world"
Kiss from a Roselia
wondering if the R&B singer with the messed up face in the Pokemon is name Seel or Spheal
old people sex
your laborious rear weighing down your spry wang
wondering who could possibly regret a laborious rear
aurora australis, crikey
our ears or labia
a laborious rear
our oral airbase
aurora borealis
it's better than digging a ditch
car wash yeah
wanking at the car wash
wondering if we will reach a point where the anagram regrets make up anal moth father loo theft
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that hep kit anal cowgirl
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that girth canal pike owl
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that alliance pork wight
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that trachea pillow king
wondering if we will reach a point where the anagram regrets make up more than half of the total
shaking all night long
choking out that guy with your American thighs
knocking that guy out with your American thighs
Hat Wearing Pillock Geldof
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that hat wearing pillock
Star Wars Episode VII Colon Wrath of Sand
sac wrath yeah, eh
working at sac wrath, eh
car wash yeah
working at the car wash
We Ain't Gonna Bark Like That
thinking that Cypress Hill should have made an album for dogs that was completely free of adult references
thinking that Cypress Hill should have made an album for kids that was completely free of adult references
naive to blatant piss
Jewel is into some weird shit
anal bovine pats tits
violent Anabaptists
Lowlife Rut
I Clavdivs
dreaming about That Girl
falling asleep again
always wondering why Moe bothered to call out the names Bart made up when he called, since there were rarely more than three or four people in Moe's Tavern
drawing a picture of Bart calling Moe's Tavern and asking for "Mr Fulltower, first initial I," then Moe goes to the men's room and asks for "I Fulltower" only to see Kento being Eiffel Towered by Hugh Jass and Guy Incognito
I Fulltower
Hugh Jass
Anabaptists
pulling off John of Leiden in the bathroom at church
pulling off John of Leiden
pulling a John of Leiden
sharing John of Leiden's wand with Elisabeth Wandscherer
Jan Beukelszoon
Hayden Christensen calling you a sandbag, poodoo
John of Leiden
Hayden Christensen calling you a sandbag
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Ivy League Worm Enema VII
Kento's cover of "Ivy Worm Enema"
Kento's cover of "I'm Every Woman"
drawing a picture of Kento being Prism Towered by Professor Oak and a walrein
Upholstering Your Balls Williams Geldof
Williams
getting upholstered by two Williams
Williams upholstering your balls
briefly thinking that Bill Murray just died when it was really Robin Williams upholstering your balls
briefly thinking that Bill Murray just died when it was really Robin Williams
upholstering your balls
soldering your balls
lathing your balls
sanding your balls
sly blush or dry vagina
roving hussy balladry
variably sludgy horns
dry shaving your balls
i don't like sand, it's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere ellipsis and you know what else is a fucking cunt, glass, fucking uppity sand is all it is, oh sure, it seems smooth, but you try some broken glass, it's what sand wants to be
in sheds in Russia
Anal heterosex among young people and implications for health promotion colon a qualitative study in the UK, cheerio, no homo
Anal heterosex among young people and implications for health promotion colon a qualitative study in the UK, cheerio
Anal heterosex among young people and implications for health promotion colon a qualitative study in the UK
duck bill bebop
rent bill bebop
bible belt porn
that there are in fact such things as costume braces, come to think of it, you just doubt that they are economic for the budget and time frame of most porn productions, especially those made in sheds in Russia
not splitting up the regret about braces for emphasis but because you find the keyboard on your phone hard to use
time equals glass divided by hate
does not exist
costume braces
suspecting that there just isn't any shortage of jailbait looking pornstars with braces, so in turn the need for porn budget
wondering why anyone would make a speech about cutting glass for time
not denying that there are overage porn stars with genuine braces, but wondering if there is a way to get fake ones to make older women look younger and appeal to the jailbait lovers out there
utility belt porn
Anakin's speech about glass being cut for time
drawing a line in the sand to enrage Hayden Christensen
drawing an imaginary line between the use of infantile regrets for laughs and the infantilization of an individual for sexual excitement or social heterogeneity
infantilism
not knowing if that's a thing but not really wanting to check because if it is a thing it's bound to intersect with diaper porn and probably worse, like baby furry role play or inflation dollplay or something
chastity belt porn
fishing bait porn
jailbird porn
jailbait porn
having had it up to here with your dentist, indicating a point somewhere slightly above your mouth
the gist of your point being that people now wear braces into their twenties and thirties in some cases
wanting to make a point about youthfulness in society in general becoming desirable but not being able to think of the word for it, other than neoteny and infantilism, neither of which is right
wondering if there's a company that makes fake braces for use in jailbait porn
Jan Akkerman
going into a death spiral in a Kamov Ka twentyseven
going into a death spiral
drawing a picture of Kento sweating and getting fluids into him regularly
If you're sweating, get fluids into you regularly
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Christina Ricci in The Addams Family VALUES kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Christina Ricci in The Addams Family kind of way"
telling that girl she was "a nauseating, grotesque racist caricature, in a Kento Ikeda in Fat Gay Asians VII kind of way"
telling that girl she was "a nauseating, grotesque racist caricature, in a Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's kind of way"
not telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Audrey Hepburn in the first hour of Roman Holiday kind of way" when you had the chance
telling that girl she was "really cut, brah, in an Arnold in the first hour of Predator kind of way"
telling that girl she was really cute by awkwardly touching her back and practically blurting out that you had an erection and you wanted her to see the erection because she was the first person who ever gave you an erection, and you don't like sand
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Hayden Christensen in an Episode II kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a David Dickinson in an hour long Bargain Hunt kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Jaye Davidson in the first hour of The Crying Game kind of way"
shooting a man in the eye with a pellet gun twice when you were two kids in a raincoat pretending to be an adult
your wang being too spry, spry, hush hush, eye to eye
in the surf in the pouring rain
shooting a man in the eye with a pellet gun TWICE when you were a kid
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" that she was "really cute, in a Sue Lyon in the first hour of Lolita kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Robin Williams in the first hour of Mrs Doubtfire kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Emma Thompson in the first hour of Nanny McPhee kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Gloria Swanson in the first hour of Sunset Boulevard kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Julie Newmar as Catwoman kind of way"
telling that girl "don't you forget about me, no no no no"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Ally Sheedy in the first hour of Harold kind of way"
the way that entering the name of an actress and wiki into the search bar autocompletes as "wikifeet"
learning that Dr J was not a cold, comedic tarantula
learning that Dr J was not an actual medical doctor
making "As Time Goes By" the new rickroll
here's looking at you, dog
Casablanca II Colon Casablanker
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Ally Sheedy in the first hour of Breakfast Club kind of way"
blanking the screens of Casio brand calculators in Casablanca
Casablanca Two Colon Rick and Louis on the Road to Berlin
we'll always have parasites
shooting a man in the eye with a pellet gun once when you were a kid
meeting a man once when you were a kid
here's looking at you, kid
writing the regret "Casablanca having such a rickin' themetune" when you meant "Casablanca having such a rockin' themetune"
la Marseillaise tout a coup
Casablanca having such a rickin' themetune
you wanna be where everybody knows you're gay
our colons are all the same
you wanna be where you can see
and they're always drawing pictures of you being Eiffel Towered by old men and animals
where everybody knows you're gay
sometimes you wanna go
wouldn't you like to get away
taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot
making your way in the world today takes everything you've got
I AM KENTO AND I LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN BIG THICK VEINY COCKS UP MY ASS OH YEAH IT FEELS SO GOOOD I LOVE THAT HOT MAN MEAT AND PLEASE BLAST MY ASS WITH YOUR HOT CUM SO YUMMY SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED
thinking Kento couldn't possibly sink any lower, but guessing he must have been loosening up with some really big dildos lately
I AM KENTO AND I LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN BIG THICK VEINY COCKS UP MY ASS OH YEAH IT FEELS SO GOOOD I LOVE THAT HOT MAN MEAT AND PLEASE BLAST MY ASS WITH YOUR HOT CUM SO YUMMY
twenty three positions in a one night stand
wondering if Brandon Routh is going to fellate Michael ABLE in the Deathtrap reboot
it is supposed to be grittier than the original
wondering if Brandon Routh is going to fellate Michael Cain in the Deathtrap reboot
having never seen any Homestar Runner ever, no Homestar
having seen Menorah Returns but not finding Brandon Routh a credible replacement for Christopher Reeve and being put off further by the messianic undertones of the story
having never seen any Rant Mourners ever, eh
having never seen any Menorah Returns ever
Elmo's Chink Slave
res jerking chink slave
res jerking Kevin Clash
res jerking Big Bird
res jerking ERNIE
having never seen any Homestar Runner ever
res jerking Bert
feeling an urge to watch through all the Strong Bad emails now
getting a lick jorb from an armless hooker in the dumpster behind Bubs' Concession Stand
terking er jerbs
good jorb
how I miss you, Truckstorp Butterfly
how I miss you, Buttercrup Tryst Folk
how I miss you, Plucky Butterfrotts
how I miss you, Buttfuck Reply Trots
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter has been Ice Bucket Challenged yet
Ice Bucket Challenging Jewel's boobs
DJ Jizzy Nystagmus and the Fresh Podcast
how I miss you, Splutterfry Buttock
MC Gesualdo
how I miss you, Truckstop Butterfly
finding it difficult to believe Kenyo doesn't write those regrets hoping that the Ice Bucket Challenge fad will be replaced by the Walrus Semen Bucket Challenge
Eiff Diddy
FiftyRand
Kenyo West
finding it difficult to believe Kenyo doesn't write those regrets
hoping that the Ice Bucket Challenge fad will be replaced by the Walrus Semen Bucket Challenge
horrific pool crapping performers
thinking that a wang that's TOO spry might be regretful
prolific pornographic performers
wondering who could possibly regret a spry wang
a spry wang
raspy gnaw
gray pawns
wry pagans
angry wasp
gay prawns
Kento's headcannons
Kento's interests
headcannons
that your own personal headcanon says that only the bottoming regrets that directly have to do with one of Kento's interests imply Kento, and the rest are just sort of gay pron lol
that would make him one of the most prolific pornographic performers of all time, even if some of them were simply repackaged scenes from old films
having a headcanon that unless otherwise stated Kento is the subject of all the bottoming regrets, but not being sure if that was ever established between posters
bottoming for Roger Excretia in Black Diarrhea VII
iron expressing in Roger Excretia's casement
iron expressing in Roger Casement's excretia
eating those Oreo cookies that made your shit dark for like a week
iron expressing in your excretia
one of the puppies is super smart, but nobody takes it seriously because it's a puppy
three legged puppies, maybe
if they filled the drums with puppies it would be sadder
it was the saddest thing
they just filled the drums with towels and he would pretend to play and maybe do a cymbal hit near the end
remembering a guy in college who was the drummer "in a band" but literally could not play the drums and they used a drum machine, but, as he put it "everyone wants to blow a drummer"
wondering what it's like to be in a famous, commercially successful band, but nobody knows your name because everyone associates the band only with its douchebag frontman
The Vampire Diarrhea
The Diarrhea of Anne Frank
eating those spinach enchiladas that made your shit dark for like a week
Roger Casement's Black Diarrhea
Diarrhea of a Nobody
The Secret Diarrhea of Adrian Mole, Aged Thirteen and Three Quarters
Diarrhea of the Plague Year
buying Gwyneth Paltrow's vaginal drippings, bottled and carbonated
Bridget Jones's Diarrhea
Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid
selling Gwyneth Paltrow's vaginal drippings, bottled and carbonated
daaaaaaaaamn, Gina
mesmerising
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay, take that, Gwyneth Paltrow Mountain Dew and crab juice
that the funniest thing you've seen all week other than here on the amazing Regret Index was the suggestion that Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence's celebrity couple name should be Martin Lawrence
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay, take that, Gwyneth Paltrow
Mountain Dew and crab juice
being aware that Maroon Five is a band and not an individual, but not remembering the singer's name, caring to look it up, or finding his backing band particularly worth learning the names of
wondering if Maroon Five actually writes the lyrics to his songs, or if he just records himself drunk dialing the people who ended up with his ex's number and sets his mumbly whinging to bland guitar riffs he half remembers better musicians playing
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay, which on reflection makes her incompatible with you in nearly every respect
hearing what you take to be a Maroon Five song about Caterpie not having the time for Maroon Five, who apparently cheated on Caterpie
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay
KILL music banned from Aust airwaves
crab juice
Mountain Dew or crab juice
KISS music banned from Aust airwaves
bottoming for Morpheus in The Gaytrix
thinking about how different The Matrix would have been if Morpheus gave Neo a choice of suppositories
hearing a Maroon Five song about Maroon Five having cheated on someone, who is presumably a different someone to the person that cheated on him decades ago, giving him the whiny self pity he needed to become a cheaty millionaire
drawing a picture of Tweetie Pie being Eiffel Towered by Maroon Five and Smash Mouth or Sugar Ray or some other bottomlessly shitty radio friendly fratrock band
hearing what you take to be a Maroon Five song about Tweetie Pie not having the time for Maroon Five, who apparently cheated on Tweetie Pie
Neon's buttocks
Kento's cobnuts, cheerio
Kento's cobnuts
torched abyss
chesty broads
Hayden Christensen's obsession with sand
google's obsession with sand gunk
google's obsession with dank nugs
google's obsession with dank dikes
google's obsession with naked kids
I get it now
it is a kid slash dog transformation of the previous regret
Scrumptious OrangeMint
having no idea what ked kod is
PedoPedia, the free encyclopedia any pedophile can edit
no, no I didn't
Did you mean colon naked kid wiki
F fifteen Strike Eagle Williams
Ked Kod Williams
Dig Dug Williams
taking a sip from the Missispi
well you get the general idea
taking a sip from the Missis sipp
Stunt Dogs Williams
Stunt Kids Williams
pregnant, breeding, or lactating kids
Excitebike Williams
pregnant, breeding, or lactating dogs
DoomIIGuy Williams
Doom Guy Williams
Shaquille O'Neal Williams
Kento Marek Williams
Ark "Bumpy" Roose Williams
Seel Williams
Purple Tentacle Williams
Guybrush Threepwood Williams
Bizarre Striated Earthwormlike Penis Jim Williams
Earthworm Jim Williams
Qbert Williams
Noob Saibot Geldof Williams, Jedi Knight
Noob Saibot Geldof
Noob Saibot Williams
Parappa the Rapper Williams
Knuckles the Echidna Williams
wishful thinking
Dozens of tributes have mistakenly been paid to British singer Robbie Williams following the death of actor and comedian Robin Williams
Robin Williams to be memorialized in World of Warcraft video game
Bayou Billy Williams
balls to your face, in the wall action
Super Mario Williams
horseshit dot com
music being your peer, Alan O
music being your alone rape
music being your aeroplane
Taped Cum, Yeah
spending hours reading shit, just absolute shit, on Cracked
Up the Academy
Horny Maze Dirge
Edgy Harmonizer
Organized Rhyme
ape raper
rape pear
anagrammation
honestly being pretty surprised you haven't started learning the words for rape in other languages to make rape related anagramming of regrets easier
the song "Whore" by the band "Sex Mama Frosting"
inferring the reason that ice cream is a super food
you can't shoot bi you gayg titted straighttch
Doomguy Williams
the song "Morse" by the band "Nightmares on Wax"
evening
you can't shoot GAY you big titted bitch
joining the Great Regret Index Child Molestors Club
sex pests, child abusers, or both
you can't shoot straight you big titted bitch
Diana Dors
Five Star
bottoming for Cliff Richard at the Sodomite Affair Inn Sunningdale, near the golf club, this Sunday at eight in the evening
not really being big into celebrity but honestly feeling that it's a little depressing that so many people are turning out to be either sex pests, child abusers, or both
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
that apparently Cliff Richard lives in Sodomite Affair Inn
that apparently Cliff Richard lives in a sin ration fiefdom
posting about Cliff Richard because it looks like he's going be to joining the Great Regret Index Child Molestors Club
Tyler Perry's Diarrhea of a Bald Macaw Monk
that apparently Cliff Richard lives in a fortified mansion
thinking it was weird that someone posted about Cliff Richard here because despite his fame, he's sort of an obscure old virgin, except maybe he was banging a tennis player and maybe his manager, and then inferring the reason
that ice cream is a super food
Robins Williams naming his daughter a video game character
Tyler Perry's Diarrhea of a Mad Black Woman
bottoming for Cliff Richard in Hairy Web VII
the very notion that "superfoods" exist
discarding mustangs with Giscard d'Estaing
that Kento's birthday was aye stud
not remembering if Tuesday was the day Kento turned up and expressed his surprise about his name being on the front page
that Kento's birthday was Tuesday
drawing a picture of Kento smearing regret butter on his anus while Clifford the Cruel Red Labrador barks and snarls to encourage him
Christ
that cruel anal labs never achieved the same popularity as the yellow or chocolate varieties
Already with thee! torrid is the sailfish, and haply the Queen Moon is on her mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on her throne of blood, cluster'd around by all her starry Fat Gay Asians
interning with Cruel Anal Labs
accidentally blowing Cruel Anal Lab bra prayers
accidentally blowing Lauren Bacall
accidentally blowing Lauren Bacall a raspberry
being Mayor of Stafford three times
the death of William Robins
just putting your lips together and blowing
clicking the refresh button on your underwear, if you know what I mean
clicking the authentic button on your underwear
snapping an Eiffel Tower model in half
snapping a MykeHawke model in half
snapping a kidwalk model in half
snapping a dogwalk model in half
snapping a catwalk model in half
clicking the refresh button on your underwear
Sir, idiots lash fir
sailfish is torrid
florist aids Irish
leaving your lover for the vodka of a pet
Sir, this is Florida
trying to pull your underwear down to refresh it
Crystal Metheny
leaving your lover for the sake of a pet
drawing a picture of Richard Branson gritting his teeth and snapping a catwalk model in half
leaving your lover a pet
PETA overvealing yo rule
wondering if Mangriff is angry about never forgetting
Mangriff looking like the bastard child of Sonic and Lion King deviantArt fan characters
PETA overruling yo veal
Mangriff
bananana bread
wondering why anybody would want to overrule yo veal
there must be fifty ways to overrule yo veal
Ohio State President Drake Defends Jon Waters Firing
Virgin America Flight Attendants Vote to Create Union
Africa's 'last polar bear' wang, dies in zoo
Africa's 'last polar bear' Wang, dies in zoo
Hooligans Jim & Cas
erect penis and puking in bed
Record Setting Storm Dumps Thirteen Inches of Rain on Long Island Town, Floods Roads, Strands Drivers
licking that whole thing of Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis and puking non stop forever until the end of time
licking that whole thing of Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis and puking in bed
Welshrats isn't it
homo no aware
getting Eiffel Towered by a man over sixty five years old and a marine
mono WELL aware
mono no aware
eating that whole thing of Ricola and having concerns about shitting the bed
duhkha
Welshrats
Cod's fins, rectum, Nazi symbol on chicken sandwich
Customer finds Nazi symbol on chink's wind cache
Customer finds limb so zany on chicken sandwich
Customer finds Nazi symbol on chicken sandwich
THALLIUM shooting through everything green
mercury shooting through everything green
that it seemed to you that she lived her life like a devil on the run, a six gun lover, a candle in the wind
how you got your rut back
how you got your groove back
the death of Lauren Bacall
watching a Scandinavian crime drama performed in Swedish but set in England in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in trifles
the purpose of a dessert is not to be nutritious but to be delicious
feeding Chris Lydon and a walrus a layered dessert made with thick custard, fruit, sponge cake, jelly, and whipped cream before they give Kento a trifle powered Eiffel Tower is good for neither you nor any of them
feeding Chris Lydon and a walrus a layered dessert made with thick custard, fruit, sponge cake, jelly, and whipped cream before they give Kento a trifle powered Eiffel Tower
getting Eiffel Towered by a man over sixty five years old and a marine mammal over fifteen hundred kilograms is not good for you
Regret Ninjas
I didn't even see you there
suddenly realising why you spend so much time regretting
smoking like a dope isn't good for you
screaming like a fish isn't good for you
drinking like a fish isn't good for you
eating electroplated is not good for you
being hit in the head quite a lot by various things and people over the years really isn't good for you
being threatened, harassed, and intimidated over a period of months or years is not good for you
being poisoned is not good for you
being hit by a moving vehicle is not good for you
being electrocuted is not good for you
saying "loss of consciousness" and then "syncope" in the same sentence because you forgot you'd already said it
the short answer is that being electrocuted can result in tonic clonic seizures, much like those induced by ECT, and can result in loss of consciousness as well as loss of muscular control, and can often result in syncope with a range of causes
suspecting you've simply got some rogue pieces of iron or something lodged in your body cavity
that it is allegedly possible to magnetize heart and lung tissue which is still living, but you don't have a link to the study any more
setting off old magnetic resonance type store anti theft systems whenever you walked through them for a couple of months
presumably having been protected by banks of miniature fuses and capacitors all burning out simultaneously
also the laptop was pretty fucked after that, though it still powered on
having been electrocuted by a lightning strike through a telephone line and the laptop it was attached to, at a distance of something like one mile, and considering it much like being electrocuted by mains powered devices
having been electrocuted by mains powered devices on several occasions and being able to report that it makes you jump in surprise, which you assume is to do with every nerve in your body firing simultaneously or something, since it doesn't really hurt
needing to add www dot to the previous regret to make it work
lightningsafety dot noaa dot gov slash survivors dot htm
wondering if getting hit by lightning really does make you paralyzed, like in Pokemon
to work
kind of wishing Kento would get a job delving deep into the bowels of creation in search of untold treasures so that you could do a "how strange the change from Asian to miner", though you guess he'd also need a You Only Live Twice style makeover for that
having a pocket full of unidentifiable coinage from various countries of the East and some weird looking Chinese coins, how strange the change from Asia to China
kind of wishing China would launch a massive war of aggression so that you could do a "how strange the change from Asia to China" bit
capitalizing The Change but not Asian, how strange the change from Asia
perhaps The Change is come and soon you too will be a fat, gay asian
wondering if this is how Kento feels all the time
having a migraine, swollen glands, and nausea
that your now deceased grandfather then went down and physically threatened the girl's mother and demanded a paternity test, after which the issue was dropped
learning that your cousin, at fourteen years old, filmed himself having sex with a girl who would become pregnant, and that video was used in an attempt to blackmail him into giving money to the girl
Boston's Prostitutes Are More Than a Feeling
lawful caveman bugs
awful venal scumbag
Boston's Prostitutes Are Really Expensive, Wicked Pissah
Boston's Prostitutes Are Really Expensive
disinterring Robin Williams's corspe and humping his guts in order to violate him like he violated young boys
taking the humped guts
really seriously hoping that Robin Williams wasn't the Celebrity Regretter and also that hoping that doesn't make you some awful venal scumbag
swans entering your dreams to make you think about swans entering your dreams to make you dream about swans entering your dreams to make you dream about swans
Your potential regret of Swanception has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE
Manception
Rosie O'Donnell and Gwyneth Paltrow's cover of Man, I Feel Like a Woman
that if anyone could play a man pretending to be a woman, it would be Rosie O'Donnell
wondering who would star in the Avvai Shanmughi sequel should Kamal Haasan die
taking the V out of Bell Bi Deoe
putting the V in Vin Divesel
Vin Dersel
Vin Dassel
putting the V in Vin Diesel
trying to pull the amazing Regret Index down to refresh the page
Daniel O'Donnell
wondering who is going to star in the Mrs Doubtfire sequel now
Rosie O'Donnell
wondering who Vin Diesel is going to play Warhammer against now
Chris O'Donnell
wondering who we're going to get to play the robin on Tanks for Nothing now
the death of Robin Williams
PreschoolerHomer
being dry sled decals
being cladly dressed
calling it a Steer's Crevice when you can clearly see it
calling it a Secret Service when you can clearly see it
Toddler slides throughout wet geisha, alarming Secret Service, eh
Toddler slides through White House gate, alarming Secret Service
Police Colon Woman chases masturbating man from UW hall
wondering whether Johannes Gutenberg and Louis Daguerre are at this very moment having a heated argument in the afterlife over who is more to blame for the travesty of a talentless celebutard publishing a book of her own horrible self taken photos
you still think they should have taken that step back and reconsidered the "flutes" from Pokemon looking like bongs
drawing a picture of Kento drawing a picture of Simba being Eiffel Towered by Rafiki and a hippopotamus
Kim Kardashian to kiss fish pubes oboe
Kim Kardashian to kill fish pubes oboe
Kim Kardashian to fuse kebob poil, shill
Kim Kardashian to push lifelike boobs
Kim Kardashian to puke foolish bibles
Kim Kardashian to publish selfie book
how many truly deranged pieces of art and fiction seem to have been created by 'fans' of Kento, to the point that even when you kind of think the author was trying to troll you still think they should have taken that step back and reconsidered
how many truly deranged pieces of art and fiction seem to have been created by 'fans' of the Lion King, to the point that even when you kind of think the author was trying to troll you still think they should have taken that step back and reconsidered
the "flutes" from Pokemon looking like bongs
Ed's lotion, eh
wondering if the guy who wrote the story about fictional lion incest ever just looks in the mirror and wonders how his life got to that point, or if he is so far gone he doesn't even have that awareness
meep meep
hot lion seed
feeling her climax squeeze his cock even more sent Simba over the edge and with one Final hard thrust he Poured his hot lion seed into his mother
giving that musketeer five francs to jab a screwdriver in his epee scabbard
giving that hobo five bucks to jab a screwdriver in his pee tube
having a flash! ah ahhhh! savior of the universe!
tubing jowls boobs
just now realizing that Madonna's "Airy Elk Rape" is about a tuba boob jowl
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a robot hand job
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about giving black Jesus a blow job
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a blow job
Three Men And a Fat, Gay Asian
Three Men and Several Dozen, Perhaps Hundred, Bastards Babies
wondering how many other unwanted Babies the Three Men were responsible for
frequent parties and flings with different women
Bratz Babyz being drunk, stupid, sunburnt, fat, gay, Asian, and covered in bad tattoos
being sober, thoughtful, pale, slim, and covered in near mint condition skin
Bratz Babyz
being drunk, stupid, sunburnt, fat, gay, Asian, and covered in bad tattoos
having a flash HOO HOO HOO HOO in four colors
friendship, hair play and a 'passion for fashion'
drinking waffle batter out of a wiffle bat
being drunk, stupid, sunburnt, fat, and covered in bad tattoos
Three Men in a Coffin
Trois hommes et un couffin
Heyy Babyy
drawing a picture of Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, and Steve Guttenberg smearing peanut butter on each other's genitals as Clifford the Big Red Dog looks on
FOUR Men And a Puppy
Three Men And a Puppy
not realizing until you had experienced lots of rain that when your ex hurricane swept over, it was an ex hurricane
Sinbad Colon Legend of the Seven Seas
waffletastic nudity
Go in gape
cowardly lions
heroic crudites
cowardly nudity
abusing the word "waffletastic"
Leelandredloomsagwinaechegesima Guttenberg Geldof
Leelandredloomsagwinaechegesima
Guttenberg was the worst
she'd be pretty irritable
three rapes and an annoyed girlfriend
three apes and an annoyed girlfriend
Segway scooters and mountain bikes for those who prefer to stay on the ground
heroic nudity
going ape
helping to give your child a head start electroplating pennies every day
no thing comes even close to what we ream so truest
mine's a little worse, I think
helping to start giving your child head for just penis a day
writing the worst thing
helping to start your child giving head for just pennies a day
no thing comes even close to what we treasure most
Yo Crappa Crappa
I know yo manure but sometimes I manage to forget
I know your name but sometimes I manage to forget
Eiffel Towering Robots Eiffel Tower Kento And Eiffel Tower Kento
Hand Job Robots Jack Themselves Off And Walk Away
Origami Robots Fold Themselves And Walk Away
Love Hygiene
wishing you were Associate Justice Sotomayor
the following plugin is unresponsive colon unknown would you like to stop it
confusing Associate Justice Sotomayor with an Oscar Mayer Wiener
helping to give your child a head start for just pennies a day
Dr Noglove memorising all those episodes of DSnine
Dr Nohomo, or colon How I Learned to Stop Fisting and Love Myke Hawke
Dr Noglove
Dr Shittyhands or colon How I Learned to Stop Smoking Pot and Love Hygiene
wondering if there's a doll out there who takes a picture of every dump she takes
Teacher accused of showing up drunk, without pants on first day of work being rewarded with a butt of sack
Teacher accused of showing up drunk, without pants on first day of work
being rewarded with a butt of sack
sitting in that whole thing of pot and shelling it to sick people
shitting in that whole thing of pot and selling it to sick people
that many people mashing garbage don't wash their hands
shit or get off the pot
wondering if there's a Sting out there who takes a picture of every dump you take
that many people washing pot don't handle their hands
wondering if ratemypoo dot com is still going
tying to make eh near that convent in Canda
that many people handling pot don't wash their hands
Marijuana's Buzzkill DNA Colon Biotech Researcher Finds Medical Pot Laced With Feces
trying to make hay near that convent in Canda
wondering if there's a guy out there who takes a picture of every dump he takes
trying to make hay near that convent
Your potential regret of the amazing Bristol Scale has already been added!
you make hay when toned nun shits, eh
you make hay when the sun don't shine
the amazing Regret Index framing vegan hen ovum
the amazing Regret Index framing hen ovum
the amazing Regret Index given human form
having the image enter your mind of two dozen elderly Indian men eating spoiled gulab jamun, then spraying Kento with streams of hot liquid shit until he is bathing in it
eating that whole thing of gulab jamun and shitting in bed
wondering if there's a thing that's like bukakke but with diarrhea gulab jamun
wondering if there's a thing that's like diarrhea but with bukakke, but then thinking "Kento"
oh hello
calentitos
wondering if there's a thing that's like bukakke but with diarrhea
gulab jamun
loukoumades
beignets
tynnu llun o Kento cael ei Eiffel safai gan Chris Lydon a walrus llid y bledren dymchwelyd
the OC, DNS
tynnu llun o Kento cael ei Eiffel safai gan Chris Lydon a walrus
llid y bledren dymchwelyd
the OC
bladder disease has returned
the WC
the CW isn't it
foolmilk
filmlook
the CW
Pertweetine
John Astatine
Sean Astatine
forcing John Mayer to sing "If I Ever Get Around to Dying" through his ruined throat following a deathmatch with Justin Bieber
wondering, in the event that you were able to trap Justin Bieber and John Mayer in an arena and force them to fight, which of the two you would want to lose and die immediately, and which you would want to die slowly from wounds sustained in the fight
beaching Jewel's walruses
beaching Jewel's whales
beaching Jewel's boobs
four year olds posting about senicide and the latest in dick humor on the amazing Regret Index
beach dicks
beach balls
four year olds posting about senicide and the latest in knock
knock humor on the amazing Regret Index
swanicide
four year olds posting about senicide and the latest in knock knock humor on the amazing Regret Index
an interrupting swan HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
an interrupting swan
that is not who is there
trying that Bosnian Pot
who's there
knock knock
Astatine
damn it
Fluorine Gallium Yttrium Arsenic Iodine Athenium
Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Yttrium Oxygen Uranium
Polonium Lanthanum Nitrogen Sulfur Potassium Iodine
Pichelsteiner
Oxygen Vanadium Argon Iodine Einsteinium
Vanadium Silver Iodine Sodium
Stedman
niece's EGO
coconut vinegar
niece's id
returning to life in the frog porn
senicide
fog romp
returning to life in the frog romp
returning to life in the pog form
Herculean tusks
returning to life in the undead form
her ass cunt leak
Herculean tasks
Zoroastrianism
Toronto's arcane balls, eh
Chicago's "bleacher bums"
Kento's arcane balls, eh
Kento's anal heel crabs
Kento's anal bleachers
Latin Vulgina
Vulgina
Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry died shortly before the movie's premiere, just days after viewing the film
dwawing a pictuwe of Jonathan Woss and Elmew Fudd bwaiding theiw penises togethew, huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
turning off all the detention mashers on the garbage level
Happhy Berfphday, Mishpter Pwefshiden
Lisp Severely for President
Elvis Presley for President
shitting down on pansies
shitting down on Cher
sitting down on Cher
naming those female mermaids Cher and Winona Ryder
naming that male mermaid Hayden Christensen
naming that female centaur Sarah Jessica Parker
naming that female minotaur Sandra Bullock
nobody WANTS to deep throat Stephen Fry, it just sort of happens
the front page, garrulus said he didn't want a serious
relationship, he meant it
nobody WANTS to deep throat Stephen Fry
being ensorcelled
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want to deep throat Stephen Fry, he meant it
remembering about this logo you made and finding your name on not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex the front page, garrulus said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
remembering about this logo you made and finding your name on the front page, garrulus
deep floating Stephen Fry
we all float down here
welcome back, Stephen Fry
the stage of computer ownership where you spend increasing amounts of time running diagnostics and hoping you don't have to replace anything
remembering about this website you made and finding your name on the front page, Ryan North
wondering if the amazing Regret Index can be properly said to have back pages
welcome back, Sandra Bullock
remembering about this website and finding your name on the front page
crossing a swan
Swans Crossing
imgur dot com slash LTAIfwB
Putsch for Pizza
Push for Pizza
drinking non heterogenized Kento's slutty shit gland milk, no homo
drinking non homogenized Kento's slutty shit gland milk
making a fire, lighting your torch, you've got to throw her out there on the porch
not buying Sandra Bullock from Amazon
the kids have to learn about TekWar sooner or later
horking while you try to say ewww
milking Kento's slutty shit gland
Kento's slutty shit gland
slightly salty nuts
El Slutty Shit Gland
lightly salted nuts
sincerely hoping you laptop screen didn't just burn out
those dogs were fast as lightning
fighting with expert timing
Dog mayor, thirty three, loses reelection bid in Minnesota
it's hard to grasp
wondering why anyone would want to fist a five year old boy
misreading "Boy mayor, five, forced to resign after being caught in sex sting in airport bathroom" as "Boy mayor, five, forced to resign after being caught fisting in airport bathroom"
Boy mayor, five, forced to resign after being caught in sex sting in airport bathroom
popsicle budget "out of control, don'cha know", don'cha know
Boy mayor, five, loses reelection bid in Minnesota
suckling squid's milk from a grim soy teat
a grim soy teat
in the grim darkness of the far future there is only PETA
a grim soy tax
Myxogastria
blasting your way out of Mos Eisley, if you know what I mean
having seen AC Anal Scab in Shaved By the Balls VII and not wanting to see it again
having never seen AC Anal Scab
here's electroplating your shoes, kid
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the electroplating of a shoe trope
having never seen Casablanca
imgur dot com
imgur dot com slash FROfKCs
imgur dot com slash hfourmHVIh
wondering if Raiden from Mortal Kombat is based on Chris Lydon
wondering if Drayden from Pokemon is based on Chris Lydon
a pond
Pando
getting a meat job from an elderly Illinois man who carried a portable oxygen tank and rode around in a motorized scooter in the dumpster behind Shop n Save
electroplating Brian Peppers
inserting something into packaged meats on several occasions
Mikey
Marcus
Takuya
Takato
Davis
Tai
an elderly Illinois man who carried a portable oxygen tank and rode around in a motorized scooter allegedly put sewing needles inside packaged meat sold at a Shop 'n Save grocery store, according to the FBI
nakko cabron emissions
nocturnal cabron emissions
nocturnal carbon emissions
in a park in Essex, innit
In a shabby dumpster tucked away in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, a crowd of aging devotees are putting up quiet resistance to the might of on line pornography
vive la resistance!
In a shabby cinema tucked away in a backstreet of central Paris, a crowd of aging devotees are putting up quiet resistance to the might of on line pornography
puking fuc your anagram
A family mourning a stillborn baby have been set upon by a gang in a park in Essex, innit
fucking up your anagram
A family mourning a stillborn baby have been set upon by a gang in a park in sex arena, Skip
wondering what it is that people from Essex say
Sgt Pepper's lonely nocturnal emissions
nocturnal manumissions
A family mourning a stillborn puppy have been set upon by a gang in a park in Essex
A family mourning a stillborn baby have been set upon by a gang in a park in Essex
crepuscular emissions
nocturnal transmissions
nocturnal emissions
the origin of the "what is this, a thing for ants" meme
Chris Lydon incest spree
Chris Lydon's ice serpent
Chris Lydon sent recipes
Chris Lydon persistence
Sgt Pepper's lonely masturbation sessions
erect Peppers
Chris Lydon's erect penis
Lydon's erect penis
Cholo Dew Porn Highs
wanting to give Kento an Arby's Mega Vegan Meat Stack for his birthday
wanting to give Kento an Arby's Magma Cake Test for his birthday
wanting to give Kento an Arby's Mega Meat Stack for his birthday
New Dorps on the Block
New Dorp High School
being tiny elliptic rape grill
being cripplingly literate
being cripplingly illiterate
Ralph, whose favorite color is peanut butter
Ralph, who's favorite color is peanut butter
never having seen Zoolander but nevertheless knowing that it is the origin of the "what is this, a thing for ants" meme
lolcockney
using that girl when you run your dick down her vagina
meeting the death of very interested shoe breasts
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the waffletastic remoulade out of a second grader's vagina trope
spooning hardboiled Mexican remoulade off of Sylvia Browne's erect Peppers
watching a British porn drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe licks Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
licking Danish remoulade off of Christina Ricci's erect boobs
holding your boobs when you lick Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
you said it
bottoming for twenty two little kids and their big dongs in My Insides Have Turned Into Bananas VII
bottoming for twenty two little kids and their big dongs in Twenty Two Little Kids And Their Big Dongs XXII
you said it
my insides have turned into bananas
Twenty Two Little Kids And Their Big Dongs
Twenty Two Killed Tits And Their Big Dogs
Twenty Two Little Kids And Their Big Dogs
Artist Recreates His Own Childhood Drawings Twenty Plus Years Later
tokes was needed!
Kento was seeded!
leisure rips
le pissurier
The Duality of Humor and Aggression in Leadership Styles
I ain't afraid of no chode
surer piss
surprises
imagining Dan Aykroyd trying to be angry with Bill Murray
funding paheal
finding paheal
All furious cast for Ghostbusters III
Dan Aykroyd is if our us
All friable cast for Ghostbusters III
Dan Aykroyd is furious
All shemale cast for Chodebusters III
All female cast for Ghostbusters III
Kento's oiled neckline cinch
Kento's Kento like innocence
Kento's childlike innocence
finding paheal to be much like image searches generally, a lot of forgettable, samey crap, a few true pieces of lunacy, and eventually photoshopped pictures of celebrities who have nothing to do with your search term
all the drawing we've described of Kento here sounding childlike and innocent compared to the stuff on paheal
Otter attacks forty five year old, sends dog and grandma to veterinary hospital
Otter attacks eight year old, sends boy and grandma to hospital
Barack Obama's bizarre, elongated, lamprey like penis
imgur dot com slash BZuaLftwo
prodayu propan i propan aksessuary
all human life is here
the low quality of that one makes it look like it was scrawled by a convict in a Russian prison and passed around as currency
imgur dot com slash pPthreeNoneMn
going to the Bobby Hill rule thirty four section on paheal and deciding that you're never going to use the internet again
selling giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises and giant, overly detailed, cartoon penis accessories
drawing a picture of Hank Hill saying "that boy ain't right" after seeing Bobby being gangbanged by four elderly men with giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises with his socks on
rubbernecking
not really wanting to see it, but being curious as to just how awful it would be
c'mon, you know that if you didn't really want to see it you wouldn't have entered the link
seeing the face, then looking down already knowing you didn't really want to
i dot imgur dot com slash UOJbTLC dot png
putting your socks on the giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises of four elderly men
that if we still had comments, "Kento" would have posted "OR IS THERE SOMETHING VERY RIGHT ABOUT IT" in response to the previous regret
there's something not right about being gangbanged by four elderly men with giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises with your socks on
giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises
nothing could possibly induce you to scratch the penises
there's something not right about having sex with your socks on
nope, scratch that, it's the penises
it's the socks that disturb me the most for some reason
it's like that job Kento had in college
imgur dot com slash BYUEgEA
getting a lick job from a trannie Gastly in the back of the truck by the SS Anne
searching for professor elm rule thirty four
he appears to be the only character who can tell the Officer Trannies apart
Brock is able to recognize different Trannies on numerous occasions
bottoming for Professor Oak in Achy Elm VII
achy elm
alchemy
Vanilla Ice eating ten pounds of rancid poutine, getting fisted by Kevin Federline, then nine months later shitting out Justin Bieber
that's how Justin Bieber was created
wishing someone would make a mashup of Vanilla Ice's Go Ninja Go with Kevin Federline's PopoZao to make the ultimate white doucebag song
punk ass cinnamon rolls
queefing non homogenized squid's milk at a PETA convention
drinking unsweetened soy milk
Power Rangers Colon Super Megaforce
drinking non homogenized milk
Dogz Bop
Kidz Bop
being born with homochromia, no hetero
being born with heterochromia, no homo
Daniel Edward "Dan" Aykroyd, CM, eh
that Dan Aykroyd is Canadian, eh
that Bill Murray is practically Canadian
that you were certain that Bill Murray was Canadian, da Bears
that you were certain that Bill Murray was Canadian
Annihilation was better
watching Ralph McQuarrie throw up on a Scottish stone mason
Annihilation Colon Conquest
bootlegging Bill Murray's junk
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Twink in Jon Favreau's 'Bootleg Junk, Eh'
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Twink in Jon Favreau's 'Gob Hole Junket'
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Twink in Jon Favreau's 'The Jungle Book'
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Bear in Jon Favreau's 'The Jungle Book', no one believes reports
Mom fights autistic son's chickens
microwave thrusters
Bill Murray to Voice Baloo the Bear in Jon Favreau's 'The Jungle Book'
Mom fights to keep autistic son's chickens
man bites swan taking a selfie
Hannibal bites man taking a selfie
Hannibal
swan bites man taking a selfie
Anna Haining Swan, eh
in your face, space coyote
BA
having sex with a girl who stopped to podcast a lot like Christopher Lydon
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christopher Lydon
cucamelons
snozzcumbers
pumpcumbers
bi sorts
rib toss
trying all the ass berries in town
bistros
ass berries
brasseries
braziers
brassieres
bras
Fairy type pokemon
harpy, harpier, harpiest
promising to check into a hotel as Thumbina Pricci sjould you ever need a pseudonym
Waste Tester for the kids
Sweet Treats for the kids
One of two twelve year old Wisconsin girls charged as an adult with stabbing a classmate to please a fictional online horror character is mentally incompetent and can't stand trial, a judge said Friday
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Thumbina Pricci
thumbing your prick in the car door
thumbing your prick at a witch
by the thumbing of my prick
by the pricking of my thumbs
ten BIG niggers
ten little niggers
murder most fowl
vile ex's of the rich and famous
murder most foul
Orlando Bloom swapping sex view with Australian billionaire
sex lives of the rich and famous
Orlando Bloom swapping ex wives with Australian billionaire schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi, schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi crikey
Orlando Bloom swapping vegemite with Australian billionaire, crikey
Orlando Bloom swapping ex wives with Australian billionaire
schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi, schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi
Justin Bieber Falcon Punch, son
Justin Bieber punch colon fans
punching Justin Bieber in the colon
Sawk & Throh
Ahegao Ikeda
Boston Mindrape Fetter
Boston Fire Department
Anal Lady BFD Kroner
an eraser of love
Fry End Krona Ballad
Rayon Bladder Flank
Leonard Frank Baldy
trendsbians
shanking dinosaurs with agent fiftyseven in your autofill cache
Dinosaurs 'shanked' regularly to become jailbirds
Dinosaurs 'shrank' regularly to become birds
the waffles were waffletastic
Orlando Bloom should be knighted for alleged Justin Bieber punch colon fans
wondering if the waffles were waffletastic
that you will probably make waffles again this weekend the end
that you will probably make waffles again this weekend
the end
that you got a waffle iron months ago, made waffles, sprinked them with chocolate chips, posted a gif of the sprinking on the amazing Regret Index, and never made waffles again
wondering how the quest for the waffle iron is going
watching a youtube video of two twelve year old girls playing with a condom water balloon
deep throating Christina Ricci
Tuna Labium Gel Two
lending your labia to an inept mule
mule won't tug labia
duh, stay outta Riverdale
beluga tuna milt, ow
male blowing a tutu
ultimate bungalow
living in Chicago's far south suburbs
you just got clitoric acid in my eye
getting citric acid in Jackson C Frank's eye when you were a kid
you just got citric acid in my eye
Its Bread! Indeed!
Pan Desuyo! Desune!
wanting to make Kento a ploughman's bitch for his birthday, cheerio
the McDonald Sandwich
the Candwich
wanting to make Kento a ploughman's lunch for his birthday but not knowing any ploughmen
wanting to make Kento a ploughman's lunch for his birthday, cheerio
wanting to make Kento a beef on weck sandwich for Beef Cow Ken
wanting to make Kento a beef on weck sandwich for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a hot brown sandwich for his birthday
taking a screenshot of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Canadians, while being able to shrug off cold, are especially vulnerable to sand based attacks, eh
being chinned by a Scottish golem
your level forty eight Cockney Podcaster being slain by a champagne golem
lolcoding the AI for leprous rapewurst to slam Kento NPC's dicks in the car door
wondering when we're going to get around to making the amazing Regret MMORPG
shat rest
the stars
grinding leprous rapewurst for XP
'Bobcat' is a nickname meaning 'sockmule'
'Lembus' is a nickname meaning 'cockboat'
wanting to make Kento a leprous rapewurst grinder for his birthday
leprous rapewurst
mistaking Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis for leprous rapewurst
leprous rapewurst
ultra super powers
Justin Bieber to join Pizza Underground
Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in a Pizza
Dick goes to town on Mumbai teen
Teen gets two hundred and thirty two "teeth" removed in Mumbai
KENTOLUMINESCENT mushrooms
TRIOLUMINESCENT mushrooms
bioluminescent mushrooms
we are all jerkin' it in the gutters, but some of us are looking at the stars
Officer Trannie, we're very upset, we never had the love that every child oughta get
Total Jerk Jedi Knight Geldof
Officer Trannie
Pokemon Lick and Job
Pokemon Cease and Desist
getting a jerk job from Kento Ikeda in the dumpster behind the Regret Index
wondering how it is that names like Schwarzenegger are in your spellcheck dictionary when you install it, but Jedi isn't
Total Jerk, Jedi Knight
Guy Fieri, total jerk
Kento Ikeda, jerk
Justin Bieber, he's a jerk
being the Jerk Regretter and having Opinions on who is and is not a Jerk
wondering if you actually are a jerk, like, you joke about it sometimes but are you really actually a jerk
apparently there are rules
we can't all be celebrities, one of us got really mardy about that the other day and you know for a fact you're not even as famous as Nicole Dieker
HOLY SHIT MAYBE WE'RE ALL CELEBRITIES
wondering if there are two Celebrities Regretter, unknown to one another
wondering what the point of having a Celebrity Regretter is if they're going to remain anonymous, and then wondering, well, what if they're not anonymous to the other regretters, and it's just that they think you're a jerk
the moment is gone
being Force Raped by midichlorians
that's it, nothing is ever going to top that
with the Force Rape Spunk Snuggle Vow, you can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary!
Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in Ibiza with the Wolfgang Puck Pressure Oven
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "coke anus dye"
Guy Fieri seems like the kind of guy who likes to punch his sexual partner when he cums
Togs Reamer, Jedi Knight
reamer togs
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "donkey sauce"
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "guano tree"
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "entourage"
wondering what it's like to be in Justin Bieber's "entourage"
retro games
Gorilla, Kleetus, Dirty P, Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in Ibiza
having thought for a very long time that Ibiza sounded like an awful place because of all the drunk clubbers, but hearing that it contained Justin Bieber, Lindsay Lohan, Sean Combs and Paris Hilton in one restaurant in one evening really confirming it
Gorilla, Kleetus, and Dirty P
Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in Ibiza
with the Wolfgang Puck Pressure Oven, you can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary!
Massenbegegnungen
seeing Dick for the first time in like two years and being iin a world of pain
getting your teeth pulled by Dick on Rough Sex Monday
being slightly frightened of Dick
having the same Dick work on you as worked on your mom
all those Dick pictures in your news feed
recommending Dick to your friends and family
the poor selection of magazines in Dick's waiting room
letting the hygienist work you over for so long only to get about thirty seconds of Dick
making an appointment for Dick months in advance
sitting through forty five minutes of agony with Bill only to get slapped with a huge dick
sitting through forty five minutes of agony with Dick only to get slapped with a huge bill
reclining in a comfortable chair waiting for Dick
coming out from under the gas and feeling like Dick has been everywhere on your body
gargling mouthwash to get the taste of Dick out of your mouth
biting down on Dick when he got too rough
instinctively licking Dick
getting drilled twice by Dick in one day
going crappie fishing with Dick
spending time with Myke Hawke in your man cave
spending time with Dick in your man cave
the deformation of character swan
his name really is Dick
wondering if your dentist is really called Dick or if you were just throwing me a bone
deformation of character
feeling numb, then sore for a couple of days after Dick has been working your jaw
gagging uncontrollably whenever Dick is in your mouth
wanting Dick to clean your teeth
asking someone vaguely familiar with Pokemon to draw Pikachu from memory, then making a Pokemon based on it
Dedenne
nope, it's Dick
wondering if your dentist's name is Gary
your dentist writing the facebook post "mexican shrimp cocktastic" with no photo or context
eating the shrimp cocktail in Mexico
your dentist writing the facebook post "mexican shrimp cocktail" with no photo or context
your father's bagel shirt
wondering if Vegan PARTICULATE Gravy is the Celebrity Regretter
wondering if PARTICULATE Gravy is the Celebrity Regretter
wondering if Wavy Gravy is the Celebrity Regretter
Canadian Dollar Tree and Family Canadian Dollar merging to become Canadian Dollar Canadian Dollar, eh
Kroner Tree and Family Kroner merging to become Kroner Kroner
Hugh Nanton Romney
the strip mall parking lot segment of the relationship industry
the lick job segment of the food service industry
the deep throating segment of retail
Dollar Tree and Family Dollar merging to become Dollar Dollar
the deep discount segment of retail
feeling kind of let down that Father Hyacinth never uses his bagel shirt
the world was younger than today
feeling kind of let down that Father Hyacinth never uses his lightsaber
peppermint bark
The One Where Ross and Marcel Brooklyn Bridge Joey
drawing a picture of Joey being Brooklyn Bridged by Ross and Marcel
always thinking that Ross and Marcel would have been a better match than any of the other F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
always thinking that Ross and Chandler would have been a better match than any of the other F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
always thinking that Rachel and Chandler would have been a better match than any of the other F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
could he BE any more toxic
agent bing
agent geller
agent green
agent orange
A fencer is always in danger of revealing his intentions to his adversary, and that he must never do
he must have looked at every girl in Europe but he's coming
Roswan Honkhonksky
okay, I'll allow it, just this once
for six years
in CinemaScope
but it leads to swans not kissing kids
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kill a dog
that is not a valid Regret Index Approved Substitution, sorry
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may hold a dog
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may thrill a dog
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kiss a dog
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kill a dog
I'm done now
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may hold a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may thrill a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kiss a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kill a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may hold a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may thrill a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may kiss a cat
the very idea of a place where a swan is subject to temporal laws existing
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may kill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may hold a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may thrill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kiss a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may hold a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may thrill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kiss a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kill a cat
where no man may kill a cat
turning into Kento, shitshitshitshitshitshitshit
Chair Cannot Find Work or Love Like Human Being
Chair Mooches and Complains Like Human Roommate
Chair Feels and Smells Like Human Skin
Biker Mice From Mars
Episodes of 'Star Wars' with All The Canadians Removed
Episodes of 'Star Wars' with All The Racist Caricatures Removed
Episodes of 'Tanks for Nothing' with All the Eiffel Towering Removed
bottoming for Dong Chi in Copulated Chocolate Pudding IV
the Jokes Removed
Go's Catamaran Farm
Episodes of 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' and 'The Big Bang Theory' with All the Jokes Removed
Magna Carta of Mars
making Kento copulated dong chi at four am
making Kento inculcated god hop at four am
making Kento chocolate pudding at four am
making chocolate pudding at four am
Blackbeard Theatarr
making Kento wide anal crash stains in the parking lot in front of Subway
making Kento an artisanal sandwich in the parking lot in front of Subway
BLUEBottle Theater
BlackBottle Theater
BattleBlock Theater
Kento's wide anal crash stains
entering the regret "Kento's artisanal sandwiches" when you meant to write "Kento's art is anal sandwiches"
wanting to make Kento an artisanal sandwich for his birthday
Kento's artisanal sandwiches
drawing and quartering Kento ass to mouth
drawing Kento ass to mouth
drawing Kento seiuchi to podcaster
drawing Kento tako to ama
drawing Kento futanari
bottoming for Roman Polanski in Juvenile Paddle V
The Goonies 'R' Good Enough
watching juvenile paddle at five am
being that eaten soup that gives you diarrhea
eating that bean soup that gives you diarrhea
vegan soy distant thunder
watching adult swim at five am
soi disant thunder
dicks and lightning
tits and thunder
distant thunder
selling Pokemon and Pokemon accessories
A young boy in one of the polar regions finds a group of Spheal, Sealeo and Walrein, when a meteor crashes down, frightening the Pokemon and making them take turns Eiffel Towering the boy with Professor Oak
A young boy in one of the polar regions finds a group of Spheal, Sealeo and Walrein, when a meteor crashes down, frightening the Pokemon and making them run towards the sea, trapping the boy in the middle of them
Visitor from the Sky Splitting Colon Deoxys
New Tork City
damn Ro
Emperor of the Crystal Tower Colon Entei
Rodman
wondering what Pokemon designer thought the a dragon made of snot is supercool
wondering what a concentration camp guard in the Pokemon universe would be like, like would there just be one guy or doll who frowned a lot and was very stern, or would there be thousands of identical guards in one place at the same time
Diggersby is nightmare fuel if ever there was any
Pokemon Drano and Fatberg
Goodra
no my friend it lays an egg
is there a chance the track could bend
from his perspective it's probably the same thing
I think that's what you meant to write
drawing a picture of Kento being walridden by a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being walridden by a walrider
a German demon which exhales alibi fist pervert cum
a German demon which exhales vampiric butterflies
Subwal
Baculum Robbins
they might have Vegan Steak n Shake
doubting they even have Steak n Shake in India
according to the Kama Sutra, Eiffel Towering is above all a characteristic of eunuchs or, according to other translations, of fat homosexuals similar to the modern Ikeda of Oregon who use their mouths and anuses as a substitute for walrus genitalia
denting your friend on Facebook, and just now getting a newsfeed message that he likes dentistry
being surprised that Baskin Robbins still exists
Choose Well
Eat Fresh
The Way A Sandwich Should Be
Right Before Your Eyes
What a Sandwich
The Place Where Fresh is the Taste
My Way
friending your dentist on Facebook, and just now getting a newsfeed message that he likes dentistry
that, for the record, there was in fact a Subway in said strip mall, along with an H&R Block, a Baskin Robbins, and a pet grooming place
wondering what the Kama Sutra has to say about lick jobs
deep throating Stephen Fry in the parking lot of a strip mall
according to the Kama Sutra, fellatio is above all a characteristic of eunuchs or, according to other translations, of effeminate homosexuals or transwomen similar to the modern Hijra of India, who use their mouths as a substitute for female genitalia
Cynopterus sphinx
getting a lick job from a trannie parrot in the Unleashed next to Steak n Shake
filling out the US Census Bureau website satisfaction survey as a result of going there to do research for a lick job parrot regret
actually going to the US Census Bureau website and looking through the economic census to try and work out which retailers are most commonly found in strip malls, all for the purposes of writing the previous regret
getting a lick job from someone you're in a relationship with in the parking lot in front of Subway
getting fellated in the parking lot of a strip mall last night, and, yeah, it's not like it was in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, but even though it was from someone you're in a relationship with you still feel like you really need a shower
Pokemon Skiing and Chariot
Smartphone App Used To Determine How Gut Bacteria Tell Our Life Story
Pokemon Intertards and Waffletastic
Pokemon Bigger and Boat
Fisherman Megalodon
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Fisherman Lydon and a Basculin
Fireman Lydon
Fisherman Paff
Fisherman Lydon
smoking forty pounds of ribs erryday fourtwenty blaze it
smoking forty pounds of ribs
dirtying a lady
waking up with the lyrics of "Simpsons Dirtied a Lady" running through your head and no idea why
Simpsons dirtied a lady
Simpsons already did it
that you actually just created the word intertard from scratch when you wrote that regret, but it seems that the internet and urbandictionary already had it
kind of liking the word "waffletastic"
thrips
kind of liking the word "intertards"
going through a phase
Don Bluth's Kento AS
Kento After Skullfuck
Kento After Dentist
supermarkets with no phone signal
that was how she air quoted it, you just wondered if she'd been going through a phase
drawing a picture of Kento being Double Rainbowed by Tay Zonday and a sneezing panda
again, I have to say this, she's not a quote unquote celebrity
reading an article written by Nicole Dieker about her quote unquote celebrity and wondering given the titles of some of her songs and the genuine remorse she seems to feel whether she posted here and had claimed to be a celebrity
Kento is more of a celebrity than Nicole Dieker
so, are we going to start calling intertards like Chris chan and Boxxy celebrities now too
she was very nearly an Internet Celery
she was an Internet Celebrity
Nicole Dieker is not a celebrity, ergo she is not the Celebrity Regretter
drawing a picture of Kento eating shit covered waffles with Chris Lydon on the Eiffel Tower
drawing a picture of Kento eating
drawing a picture of Kento being
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Christina Ricci and a waffle
the canopy above the sea
wondering if Nicole Dieker is not the Celebrity Regretter, but posts here anyway
licking Danish remoulade off of Christina Ricci's erect penis
wondering if Nicole Dieker is the Celebrity Regretter
The Swan's Name is Ingrid
T Rex Has Feelings
the man don't slather a donkey sauce
the man don't put a donk
the the edge in your thrill
the bono in your hold
a man putting a donk on it
the bob geldof in your kill
the sting in your kiss
giving two shits right across from the sea
taking a shit right across from the sea
taking a seat right across from the sea
wondering if there is a database out there of all the fake phone numbers used in fiction, and which characters share a number
bottoming for AC Anal in Saved By the Balls VII
a canal
a plan
a man
putting a donk on it
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters
Real Ghostbusters
EIGHTY THOUSAND AND ONE is the natural number that comes after EIGHTY THOUSAND and before EIGHTY THOUSAND AND TWO
Real Bi
eighty thousand is the natural number that comes after seventy nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine and before eighty thousand and one
putting all this pressure on me
that you have nothing for eighty thousand, so you're not going to write any more regrets until it has passed
Bel Air
your neighborhood
the school
the playground
West Philadelphia
Philadelphia
he's a miracle
Slash Gordon
Slash Springsteen
can you tell me how to get, how to get to the streets of Philadelphia
it's like someone took a knife baby, edgy and dull, this old man came rolling home
Fanmade Horsecrap, Jedi Knight
that Black & White truly had the shittiest looking Pokemon ever, half of them look like they were from a different game and the other half looked like fanmade horsecrap
bottoming for Hung Evan in Having Fun VII
hung if van
having fun
in, out, in, out, you blow your brains out,
calling Courtney Love up on stage to do the cokey hobo with you
calling Courtney Cox up on stage to do the hokey pokey with you
this gun's for hire, oh, hands, shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes
Old MacDonald went down to the river, e i e i o
bracing for the arrival of the Children's Folk Song Slash Bruce Springsteen Lyrics Mashup Bandit
eating the same girth as David Spade
being the same girth as David Spade
Hey little girl is your froggy home, did he go a courtin' and leave you all alone
Philadelphia mom, daughter die from injuries sustained in food truck explosion, girls ain't nothing but trouble
James Spader, I hardly knew 'er!
being the same length as David Spade
getting up in this big non treasure havin' bastard
James Spader spaying David Spade using a shovel
being the same height as David Spade
confusing James Spader with David Spade
wishing you had Ferris Bueller's day off
now having the lyrics of "Froggy Went A Courting" stuck in your head because of the "mmm hmm" crossover with "I'm On Fire"
waking up late at night with the sheets soaking wet and the lyrics of "That Lady" running through the middle of your head
waking up with the lyrics of "That Lady" running through your head and no idea why
that an erection lasting more than four hours is a precious gift to be shared with as many people as possible
wondering how frequently nine one one operators get calls from dudes with erections lasting more than four hours
that Kevin James is only an inch taller than David Spade
you'd even settle for Parker Lewis's
wishing you had Ferris Bueller's life
deep throating Cameron Frye
here every day
cleaning Stephen Fry
just waving or drowning
wishing you understood what you do here, in the sense of not knowing if you're actually trying to achieve something by posting here every day
not having fallen down stairs or fainted unexpectedly or been struck by a moving vehicle or anything like that in years and feeling as though you're now missing out
Stephen Fry
lolcoding your boobs when you run down the stairs deep cleaning Stephen Fry
lolcoding your boobs when you run down the stairs
deep cleaning Stephen Fry
that you're not serious
Tomorrow Belongs to MB, and by the way, Achtung MB
Tomorrow Belongs to MB
Tomorrow Belongs To Me
discovering that you are several years older than the median age for your local area
people, or person, as it sometimes seems
lord how you hope people understand what you do here
promising to make regret one hundred thousand "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" if you remember, and also if people understand that you're not serious
Peaches Geldof died of heroin overdose, had been on methadone colon coroner
remembering when we hit ten thousand on the old 'dex and it felt like we reached some supreme, unsurpassable goal
forty thousand feeling like just yesterday
not having anything prepared for eighty thousand
feeding your Muk nutmuck
feeding your Muk muktuk
we're almost to eighty thousand
Backdoor Sluts IX makes Crotch Capers III look like Naughty Nurses II
wanting to make Kento a glove puppet for his birthday
Henry Hubbard, Jr
the National Screaming Fisheries Development Board
the National Fisheries Development Board
treating a tree to tea at three
Tree Tree tree tree treed by tree
Marc Tree memorial tree killed by tree
Marc Bolan memorial swan ridden by Tree Rex
Marc Bolan memorial tree eaten by T Rex
Marc Bolan memorial tree killed by tree
Keith Moon memorial tree killed by someone
wanting to make Kento a kayak for his birthday
Kurt Cobain memorial tree killed by Buddhists
Davy Jones memorial tree killed by monkeys
George Harrison memorial tree killed by beetles
Mainus is relaxed
Rogue wave kisses mom in Maui
Rogue wave kills mom in Maui
bottoming for Sir Sully Badger in Sly Ribald Urges VII, cheerio
SHARKS #Eiffeling
JETS #Eiffeling
Sly Bridal Urges, Sir Sully Badger
Fans #Eiffeling
Sly Bridal Urges
Sir Sully Badger
Ludger Sylbaris
The Eiffeling Adventure
Towering Kento
Booby Doo
it was revealed that a new engine mechanic was created to make her ponytail move
Due to reused audio files, she sounds like a walrus when Eiffel Towering Kento
Due to reused audio files, she sounds like a male when grunting raking all those hoes
Due to reused audio files, she sounds like a male when grunting
raking all those hoes
shoe joke
hoe jokes
rake jokes
suddenly feeling a twinge of guilt about your own TRIPLE standards
this term for a long handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker
the teacher's lounge is for teachers, Willie
suddenly feeling a twinge of guilt about your own double standards
Category Colon Freeballers' wives and girlfriends
Category Colon Footballers' wives and girlfriends
licking garum off of Christophorus Lydonus's erect gladius
troll galaxies discovered 'dancing' around their elf counterparts
not so far
wondering if Gary has ever signed his name "Garum"
garum
takoyaki
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect aebelskivers
aebelskivers
When people sit down to be a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about eats two guys having sex
When people sit down to be a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex
the spacecraft is spun from carbon fiber and imagination
When people sit down to eat a steakburger, the first thing they want to be thinking about is getting a lick job from a trannie hooker
When people sit down to write a regret, the first thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex
When people sit down to eat a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is Five Guys having sex
When people sit down to eat a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex
Dwarf galaxies discovered 'dancing' around their giant counterparts
Joe Biden once looked at Putin
Nikita Levy
seeing Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one penis and a bottle of champagne in the other
seeing Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other
meeting Danish turtles
drinking champagne out of Chris Lydon's erect penis
licking Chris Lydon's Danish
having impure thoughts about a teenage yeoman roar
two men enter, one man leaves, cheerio
sleep will shoot your eye
sleep will close your eyes
Las Menudos
Las Meninas
having impure thoughts about a teenage Rooney Mara
having impure thoughts about a teenage Mia Sara
Man accused of double murder in South Park ordered held without bail
wondering if Brian Henson does Muppet voices during sex
that Matthew Horseface is probably happier with someone his own height
learning that Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off married Jim Henson's son
Adolph Luetgert
wondering if Matthew Broderick ever regrets not hooking up with super hot Mia Sara and getting stuck with Ol' Horseface
Mad Max Colon Fury Road
choking on the Sausage King of Chicago
eating the Sausage King of Chicago
being the Sausage King of Chicago
someone needs to make a video of a walrus blowing itself set to Yello's "Oh Yeah"
Time Trax
drawing a picture of two men entering super hot Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off while a third man leaves
two men enter, one man leaves
she was super hot
learning that Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off married Sean Connery's son
getting so used to soy teats that cow's udders look weird
getting so used to soy milk that cow's milk tastes weird
Grant, and a broom handle
Tory manages to blend a cow brain, spread it on a bull penis, and tightly twist said bull penis into knots with the help of Kari, Grant, and a broom handle
i can has horzecock
garlic kid balls
a bizarre, striated, and earthwormlike penis is, according to Kento, ideal
a long, thin, and springy penis is, according to Grant, ideal
yes we can horse cock
canned horsecock
garlic dog balls
eating lion peckers
chinchilla chinchin
those sexagesimal Sumerians
picking a peck of pickled penguin peckers
throwing a party and forgetting you invited Andrew Zimmern and having to drive all the way to Bulk Knackers to pick up ten pounds of llama cocks
buying a gross of goose gonads
at our Nigerian parties, every table will have a paper plate filled with chin chin
buying a fifty gallon drum of hippo nuts
Kentucky Fried Chinchin
Butt Knickers
trying the meatballs in the food hall
tiger wangs are on sale for one week only
Bulk Knackers
wondering there's a store that's like a Costco for exotic animal genitals
he is so much of it that it comes out his pores
he eats so much of it that it comes out his pores
that's just how he smells
that Andrew Zimmern's favorite smell is muskox scrotum
halving James Mercer and Joe Plummer
smashing Jackson C Frank's shins when you were like, nine or something
that Hayden Christensen's favorite smell is molten silicon
having almost prehensile feet
learning about angular momentum by slipping off the monkey bars and smashing your shin so hard against a low bar that you tore it up, bruised it for weeks around the cut and lost an inch long strip of the fatty layer when you were like, nine or something
halving two shins
having two shins
having two chins
Chinatown only has one chin
having more chins than Chinatown
fuzing James Avery with James Arness
fusing James Avery with James Arness
confusing James Avery with James Arness
The Future of Robot Handjobgivers
confusing James Garner with James Arness
The Future of Robot Caregivers
Sniff test colon Can you match the stars to their weird favorite smells
where we're going we don't need lolcode
where we're going we don't need rough sex Monday
inventing the recent comments capacitor
wondering if Ryan designed the amazing Regret Index to travel through time when it hits eighty eight thousand regrets
smearing regret butter on your genitals before visiting qwantz dot com
qwantz dot com going down on you for like eight hours while reddit dot com watches from afar and masturbates
qwantz dot com going down on you for like eight hours
monumental cock, 'sup
qwantz dot com going down for like eight hours
monumental cock ups
you're gonna need a bigger butt
butt getting autocorrected
you're gonna need a bigger but
really hoping Gary didn't do it
that it faces the house and is surprisingly well executed
most likely
fertilizer
wishing there were a way to make Tusks, in which Kento, Chris Lydon, and Andrew Zimmern are tasked with killing a massive walrus that is menacing a small New England town, and then they all have sex
that they somehow made the grass grow more green and lush to spell what is undeniably the street name
some mystery individual having hilariously somehow managed to write the name of your street on your lawn
drawing a picture of Kento being DeLoreaned by Michael J Fox and a walrus with Parkinson's
wishing there were a way to make the Back to the Eiffel Towering trilogy, in which Kento goes travelling through Boston in various time periods with Doc Lydon, who has trained a walrus to travel through time and Eiffel Tower fat gay Asian men
a planet where walruses evolved from men
wishing there were a way to make Aynatar, in which Kento travels to the alien world of Randora to look for Odobenium
drawing a picture of Kento being digitally inserted by JFK and Fireman Paff
elaborate sex acts, with a famous fireman occasion
elaborate sex acts, with famous icons of Americana
wishing there were a way to make Walroose, in which Kento moves to a small town where, thanks to the local blowhard podcaster, Eiffel Towering has been outlawed, until he wins over the townspeople by being Eiffel Towered just over the county line
wishing there were a way to make Kento Gump, in which Kento goes on a series of adventures in which he meets, then engages in elaborate sex acts, with famous icons of Americana
a lot of good clams died in that war
having flashbacks to the Radar Whelks Revolt
Radar Whelks Revolt
Steward HK Lar Lover
wishing there were a way to make The Kento Coast, in which Kento's family is uprooted to Belize to breed walruses, coming into conflict with the Reverend Lydon
wishing there were a way to make Good Kento Hunting, in which Kento, as a night watchman at the Boston Aquarium, manages to solve a series of incredibly complex sexual positions that Chris Lydon wrote on a blackboard, and then they eventually have sex
the Pope Hat Dick Monster
the Pope Dick Monster
the Poop Lick Monster
LRH said he was a race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident, he came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak
my abalone's muff
my buffalo's mean
wishing there were a way to make Kento Ikeda's Day Off, in which Kento, asked not to come into school until he stops harassing people with stuffed toys, goes on a trip into Boston with Chris Lydon and a walrus in a 'borrowed' aquarium truck
drawing a picture of Ben Stein repeating "Ikeda, Ikeda, Ikeda" and then cutting to Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
bottoming for Nanny Bum in The Pickle Porn Tomes VII Colon Sperm Onto The Pickle
Nanny Bum
sperm onto the pickle
the pickle porn tomes
wanting to dive into your ocean
Bunny Man
the Pope Lick Monster
ostension
Kento be shoppin'
Kento so daffy
Kento's day off
sumo ski
koumiss
dirty gin
clean gin
cleaning
tidying
dignity
seeing two kids humping out of your apartment window
women eat shoppin'
seeing two dogs humping out of your apartment window
women be shoppin'
An allegation that Simon Waffle is gay, was heard by Southwark Crepe Court
that you can't just replace egg with mashed banana when baking thunderstorms
that you can't just shut down all the banana mashers on the neonatal level and replace them with egg scramblers
that you can't just replace egg with mashed banana when baking
thunderstorms
underwear's slit
An allegation that Simon Cowell is Aslan, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
An allegation that Simon Cowell is Asian, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
An allegation that Simon Cowell is fat, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
Resident Walrus
An allegation that Simon Cowell is gay, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
Swan City
great minds thinking about waffles alike
manumising yourself from anal bondage by taking the hugest dump
regret number seven six two eight eight
anal bondage
drawing a picture of Kento being Waffle Towered by Crepes de Lyon and a waffle
Waffle City
Walrus City
Raccoon City
tots these days, with their Pit Bulls and their iPhones and their anal bondage
he's a gob getting a facial
hoebags getting a facial
crimes
hoebags
getting a facial
anal bondage tot baby preys on vulnerable celebrities
catching anal bondage tot, baby
catching a boat to England, baby
well, I guess I should get to buying that ticket to England for the trial
easily
hundreds
guessing that Jason Bateman has at least a couple dozen dead toddlers buried under his house
drawing a picture of Ryan Reynolds having an attitude about getting a facial
there's just something about his facial attitude
Ryan Reynolds especially
kind of suspecting all celebrities of being disease ridden junkie hoebags
kind of suspecting all celebrities of some monstrous, unspecified crimes
always suspecting that Stephen King was a pedophile
kind of liking Stand By Me and Explorers but not wanting to write home about them
the quote is trying to convince the reader that something was far more valuable and important than it actually was, so, yeah
that the first two results for that quote about River Pheonix are some kind of dodgy loan spam websites
naming your son River Bottom
Last time Rupert sought to buy Warner, he assigned three New York Post journalists to investigate its CEO to assist in a lawsuit he'd filed against the company
so basically my son is Jesus
Chernobyl wasn't enough, Exxon Valdez wasn't enough, a bloody war over oil wasn't enough, if River's passing opens our global heart, then I say, thanks dear, beloved son, for yet another gift to all of us
fair trade vegan heroin
every narcotic mankind invented, all at the same time
she also failed to recognize how much better he was than not only her but everyone else in the restaurant
honestly suspecting that River Phoenix wasn't crying for the crabs, but because he had failed to impose his will on another human being
marveling that River Phoenix weeped to see someone order softshell crab but had no qualms about injecting himself with every narcotic mankind invented, all at the same time making it through to Xanadu
vegan heroin
marveling that River Phoenix weeped to see someone order softshell crab but had no qualms about injecting himself with every narcotic mankind invented, all at the same time
making it through to Xanadu
hmm, telling me about your childhood
o, no soot!
too soon
bottoming for "Hugest" River Phoenix in Stand By Me And Rotate Your Foreskin VII
drawing a picture of Jaoquin and "Hugest" River Phoenix rotating their foreskins together
Joaquin Phoenix's Foreskin Rotated
poor little white walrus
blackwater walrusing
taking the hugest noisy river white water walrusing
presumably
that he is also in a tax haven
that James Blunt has not been dispatched to the Ukraine because he is still taking the hugest dump
trying to do an impression of Randy Savage but it sounding like Matt Foley
Joaquin Phoenix's Forehead Rotated
Polanskeens
pretweens
tweens
dark matter cupcakes
smugglin a panda out of China
not studygring aphic design in college
puking into a bucket
that the first regret to mention walruses on the old 'dex was "dating somebody who collected walruses"
white water walrusing
wondering why James Blunt has not been dispatched immediately to the Ukraine in order to prevent World War III
hungover sissy rite
reservist is hung, yo
virgin hues oysters
hugest noisy rivers
universe shits orgy
seething rosy virus
very serious things
Ryan waffles
wondering if making three time long board derby champion Ryan Q North the ultimate arbiter of morality and conscience is a sound plan in mouse voice
the death of Drop Dead Fred
wondering if making three time long board derby champion Ryan Q North the ultimate arbiter of morality and conscience is a sound plan
wondering if a report system would genuinely improve the site or simply send the message that it is inappropriate to regret certain very serious things
it's probably because someone keeps mailing him sand filled items
hearing the music ring from the mountaintops
welcoming Hayden Christensen to the amazing Regret Index and asking why he hates sand so much, beyond it being coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere
having horrific flashbacks to watching Eragon, OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit
he who would trade money for love will have neither
Sources Colon Cavs Willing To Trade Wiggins For Love
welcoming Jewel to the amazing Regret Index and asking if she can sign your spoon
a swan slamming your boobs in the car door in the Penn State showers
it's got to be either Eiffel Tower or swan related
loading your hanugrum
did you slam your dick in the car door
I guess if you told us which regrets give you flashbacks to being abused, we could stop writing ones of that type
that the report submission process would only lead to Ryan anyway
nice to see you too
a handgun filled with anagrams
also, lots of anagrams
visiting this shitty fucking website that has no report submission button so that scrolling through regrets is like playing russian roulette with a handgun with half the chambers filled with panic attacks and crippling flashbacks of being abused
referring to, even
re Episode II as Episode JJ
Star Wars Episode II Colon Billy and the Cloneasaurus
Malaysia Airlines
drawing a picture of Kento blowing the leaves out on the lawn
Billy and the Cloneasaurus is a better title than Attack of the Clones
you ain't buying or selling today
Billy and the Cloneasaurus
drawing a picture of the wind that blows the leaves out on the lawn
drawing a picture of two crayfish frolicking in a stream
drawing a picture of something pleasant for a change
drawing a picture of Michael Gove crying in the toilets on his first day at a new job
drawing a picture of Michael Gove flogging Larry Craig's wide guy tunnel with his bizarre, striated, whiplike penis
getting a text from Michael Gove that just says "I'm a whip guy"
getting a text from Larry Craig that just says "I'm a wide guy"
Larry Craig
taking your whip into the toilet with you
Mr Gove "managed to get stuck in the toilet in the wrong lobby and he nearly broke his own whip"
there has always been a counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my memory hole
A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my asshole!
A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my K hole!
A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my car hole!
counterfeit panties
playing Dungeons & Dragons with early gay geese
realizing that your underwear has "authentic" embroidered all the way around the waistband, which is super convincing
that knowing your luck the Mystery Texter is probably some needlessly complicated attempt by an intelligence agency to gain your trust, in case you're some kind of terrorist
wondering if the Mystery Texter is Gary Gygax
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Felonius Candace
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Gary Eagle Eyes
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Felonius Eagle Eyes
Your character may have a normal name, like "Gary" or "Candace," or may have a fantasy name like "Felonius," or just a nickname, like "Eagle Eyes"
All You Need is Thrill
All You Need Is Hold
All You Need Is Kiss
All You Need Is Kill
Miracinonyx inexpectatus
Chaste, eh
Cheetahs
The Chase
introducing Myke Hawke to Jacques Strap
putting Myke Hawke parts in Myke Hawke strap
preventing flat head syndrome
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND
putting your jock parts in a jock strap
jock parts
the famous transvestite French ball carrier, Jacques Strap
the famous French ball carrier, Jacques Strap
Casey Kasem's wife turning out to be Old Man Petersen
strapping a strapping jock named Jock into a jock strap
Casey Kasem has not been buried, remains in morgue
lubricating Hank's narrow tits oink pizza with Jewel's nude thong thong fluid
Hank's narrow tits oink pizza
eating Hank tits oink pizza, ow
being the pizza in Mexico
eating the pizza in Mexico
eating a pizza with poutine on it, eh
slicing nakko's pizza
eating a pizza with nakkos on it that looked a lot like Christina Ricci
I am not a pizza with nakkos on it, I am a free man
being a pizza with nakkos on it
eating a pizza with nakkos on it
child rape and ritualistic murder
nothing says "break free from the mundane and embrace life" like child rape and ritualistic murder
little girls gorge you, your greatest mistake
Boston divorce
anonymous truck stop hammer time
anonymous telegram stop sex stop
mouse voice truck stop sex
celebrity truck stop sex
anonymous truck stop sex
stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie
promising to check into a hotel as Seaman Hairskewer sjould you ever need a pseudonym
Boston marriage
Ascension Guns Island
ascension guns
gum plus butts
bottoming for Ron Pro Torpedo in Shaft Shielded Ray VII
the shaft is ray shielded so you'll have to use proton torpedoes
probably because of all the skeevy guys asking to watch
lesbian couples in committed relationships have less sex than any other type of couple, and they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts
this is a late parrot regret, it's a stiff, bereft of life, it rests in peace
How I Met The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Your Mother
this is a belated parrot regret
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & YOUR MOTHER
TerraCycle
winning the Twenty Sexy Teen Ballot with seventeen votes
Plan to Split California Into Sex States May Make Twenty Sexy Teens Ballot
Plan to Split California Into Sex States May Make Twenty Sixteen Ballot
Plan to Split California Into Six States May Make Twenty Sixteen Ballot
Seaman Hairskewer
Midshipman Scaleknife
I would rather not
Rape a Two Shift Dancer
Captain Feathersword
I compare you to a kiss from a drone on the grey
Seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes
an elephant seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes
Ye Race Killer
El Real, crikey
Lee "Lacy" Riker
Caerrie Kelley
using four e's
Bruce Wayne Junior
Lee "Lacey" Riker
Carrie Kelley
Quickly, Boy Wonder! To the Fudge Tunnel!
a couple of guys and some boys
it's also full of men
wondering why Batman's lair is called the Batcave and not the 'dungeon'
really it would be more accurately called the Shitcave
it's full of bats and bat guano
wondering why Batman's lair is called the Batcave and not the Mancave
Police Colon Man's archnemesis, the Slap Slap Slapper
Police Colon Man and his sidekick, the Boy Anus
Police Colon Man hoped to take child prostitute to 'dungeon'
PIVOT! PIVOT! PIVOT!
International Secret Police Colon A Barrel of Gunpowder
bottoming for ten homos in X Homines X
X Homines, Non Homo
X Homines
Ego, Robotum
Iter Stellare
Quadruple Rat's Trek Colon Heavy Goo Theme
Quintuple Rat's Trek
Rat's Trek
bias listing every Star Trek episode
stabilising every Star Trek episode
StarTrekStabilized
'Randy' guinea pig breaks into female enclosure, impregnates one hundred females
kentoketsu
hamukento
seiuchiketsu
hamuketsu, desu ne
hamukatsu
hamuketsu
drawing a picture of Toto being Eiffel Towered by Yoko and Jakamoko
Reddit Fourchan, Jedi Knight
Reddit of the Jedi
we should have each other with vegan cream
we should have each other to dinner
all the years and no one heard
Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto!
totally not screwing up there at all
that colon isn't as funny in Latin
Bella Stellaria Episodium VI Reditus Jedi
Bella Stellaria Episodium V Imperium Repulsat
Bella Stellaria Episodium IV Nova Spes
Bella Stellaria Episodium III Ultio Sith
Bella Stellaria Episodium II Impetus Clonum
Bella Stellaria Episodium I Colon Phantasma Minax
not knowing if you have ever seen Psycho, which probably means you saw it while stoned in college
Georgius Walton Lucas minor
Gulielmus Iohannes Neeson
Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Neeson
that Psycho is always seen as an amazing genre defining thriller and a work of filmmaking art, but its last scene is a bland man in a suit flatly, dryly explaining the whole plot of the movie
strapping in and feeling the Gs, if you know what I mean
having sex with Liam Neeson by
you don't have sex with Liam Neeson, you strap yourself in and feel the Gs
having sex abeam of Liam Neeson
having sex by Liam Neeson
by being first looked for, then found, then having sex with Liam Neeson
by
being first looked for, then found, then having sex with Liam Neeson
that you have a roughly seventy five percent chance of having sex with someone who has appeared on the cover of Saga Magazine within the next forty eight hours
Soren H Assmann
the one we never talk about
bloody cricket
Liam Neeson on the cover of Saga Magazine
Bebop Ho's infamous rivalry with Barren Pepsi P
Detached Brothels with Bebop Ho
being mah na mah na
Deathbed Chortles with Bob Hope
I am not an anime! I am not an anime! I am a human being!
pretty much every scene with Obi Wan and Qui Gon
two bored, uninterested men engaged in the act of buggery
being inane ma
being an amine
Tijuana Bibles Geldof
being an anime
Guadalajara Books of Mormon
Myke Occyx
socking Myke Hawke
getting socked in the coccyx
cocking all those socks
Zapopan Vedas
Juarez Qurans
Leon Torahs
Tijuana Bibles
slamming your socks in the car door
socking all those cocks
wondering if R Kelly ever recorded a cover of My Sharona
wondering if R Kelly ever recorded a cover of Golden Showers
wondering if Louis Armstrong ever recorded a cover of Golden Showers
wondering if Louis Armstrong ever recorded a cover of Golden Slumbers
George Bestial
The Wards
Christopher Joseph Ward
fay WRAY in "QUEEF" by Ima Cocksocker
CJ Ramone
spending QUEEF on squid's milk at a PETA convention
Quasi Universal Electrical Energy Factory
Quasi Universal Intergalactic Money
The Ramone
Quasi Universal Intergalactic Denomination
a poetic social mission
skat, a common term of endearment
Peaches Ramone
Marky Ramone
Richard Garriott
Ramones
the death of Tommy Ramone and by extension the death of The Ramones
not getting the fay wray thing
Ego Dreck, Rah
Gored Rack, Eh
Grade Choker
Orchard Geek
Hardcore Keg
Harder Gecko
Croak Hedger, Jedi Knight
Croak Hedger is a genius because he knows exactly what people want and precisely how far he can go
stopping Scott Stapp's hot tap
Chad Kroeger is a genius because he knows exactly what people want and precisely how far he can go drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
this criticism seems to only be pandering to critics of the band
In an interview about the forty five minute video, Stapp said he did not believe oral sex was actual sex
most people hate Creed's combination of overwrought power balladry and Christian infused testosterone
honestly not remembering Creed at all
edging out Justin Bieber
strippers, sex, prostitutes, drugs, sex, drinking and sex
upping the ante by offering realistic storytelling that listeners can relate to
Chad Kroeger is a genius because he knows exactly what people want and precisely how far he can go
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
fay WRAY in "QUEER" by Ima Cocksocker
compensating for your ordinary shoes
making the COSIGN of a wave
making the sign of a wave
taking her for granted because she pleases you
actually kind of having an oral sex fixation
that Difficult English Wikipedia's only rule is "Fuck's sake it's not hard to get right, is it, what did you do that for"
that the Simple English Wikipedia's manual of style only permits photographic illustration on non biographical articles if all persons in the image are peasants in a pastoral idyll
Feynman oral sex fixation
a picture is worth a thousand more
a picture is worth a thousand words
wondering why the Simple English Wikipedia article on fisting fails to include the shot of the guy dressed as a schoolgirl with the hand up his ass
that's so weird, I was just listening to that song like five minutes ago
Feynman oral sex notation
any picture on the wikipedia article for Fisting
BADALAMBA BADALAMBA BADALAMBA BADALAMBA BADALAMBARABAMBADABADA
just to draw a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered at yiur door
I would write ten thousand more
Feynman axel rose notation
that we've written more than ten thousand regrets since the comments got deleted
Feynman slash notation
fourth, actually
the third picture on the wikipedia article for Fisting
ear urea children playing the guitar
North Korea children playing the guitar
That's a urinal dot wmv
being a huge anal dragonfly nymph
being a minute anal nympho
being a huge anal nympho
watching Frank Reps OP videos and youtube and not being able to identify whether he or she is male or female
watching forksnappers videos and youtube and not being able to identify whether he or she is male or female
SHIRT EXAM, MOO
HAREMS OMIT OX
MAXIM HOOTERS
HOMO MATRIXES
illustrating an ad titled "Woman is twenty eight but looks fifty three" with a picture of Lindsay Lohan
illustrating an ad titled "Woman is fifty three but looks twenty seven" with a picture of a woman who does not look twenty seven
XERODERMATIC
PROTHROMBINS
HOMEROMASTIX
Disgraceful photo of recreational hunter happily posing next to a Triceratops he just slaughtered
Did you mean colon ZUper BlahQ
ZBsuebsljgQh
ever saying you would attempt to understand Spambot's diabolically short messages
MACROGLOSSATE
MICROFLOPPIES
NCmpFuafxXcHk
an island where the people are kind and the rest of the world seems far away
having a question to ask but then forgetting what it was
Chrome being super slow all week to the point that you wonder if it's bugged and slowing down your laughably poor rural connection or just buggy on the current build
drawing a picture of Kento being stuffed by a taxidermist, and then later led over to give anal approval on the Chris Lydon and walrus diarrhea Kento ordered
wondering if we should do something special for eighty thousand
drawing a picture of Kento being stuffed by a taxidermist, and then later led over to give anal approval on the Chris Lydon and walrus diorama Kento ordered
drawing a picture of Kento being stuffed by a taxidermist, and then later led over to give final approval on the Chris Lydon and walrus diorama Kento ordered
wanting to find a taxidermist who could not only stuff Chris Lydon after he dies, but also realistically create the Eiffel Towering scene
wondering if you can request that the mortician not actually braid your penis to someone's after death
you can request anything
wondering if you can request that the mortician actually braid your penis to someone's after death
always wanting to call it The French Prince Who Looks Like Janice Dickinson
always wanting to call it The French Prince
Will Smith is now running a couple co projects more than Uncle Phil was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince
Will Smith is now older than Uncle Phil was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince
a cow who brings urea to then hooks up with Ryan North and Ryan South
a cow who brings urea to North Korea and South Korea
a cow who brings peace to Israel and Palestine
Picariketroi LaCrusher
Entrance of the RoFo
momma always saying that life was like a luxury yacht, you never know what the hookers are gonna do until you overdose on heroin
rubbing spider eggs into your eyes or dying
being caught in a fatal sex web with spiders, for spiders, by spiders
EXACTO
starting a new career with urea in your ear in North Korea
Fatal Spider Attraction
being caught in a beeswax flat
rubbing sex spider eggs in your eyes
being caught in a fatal sex spider web
STEAK, SHAKE, DUMPSTER, PROSTITUTION
GOOGLE, MURDER, OVERDOSE, PROSTITUTION
being caught in a fatal sex web WITH SPIDERS
being caught in a fatal sex web
tortles
watching Google video promos for Prestige luxury yachts and wondering if rich guys really do just do heroin in a fifty foot yacht covered with busty, murderous hookers
Forrest Timothy Hayes
that Homer Simpson really does look like Dan Aykroyd
Dan Aykroyd Unplugged on UFOs
Kim Kardashian Loony Hollow Cod
feels like there's a comma missing there
Kim Kardashian Colon Hollywood
Guzzle
Netfux
ClapChat
Gspotify
WhatSlapslapslappingsounds Messenger
MineCraft Colon Pocket Pool Edition
Horny Birds
TweetDick
cumblr
there are already like a thousand porno versions of youtube
FudgeTube
YouTug
Last dot FuckMe
Inyougram
Fumblr
processing the claim would have been four times the value of the clip
reddick
WankedIn
MyJunk
Faceboob
Titter
the suspect was "intoxicated on drugs and 'tripping balls'"
It's called Twitter, not Titter
lingering in the shade of a kind old tree
Shaven Lick
Kevin Clash
Ernie
Bert
Esskay Meats
Yorick
Chicken Liver
Professor Madcliffe
Harry the Hipster
the 'send' button, god, what a retard
Miss Piggy
Kermit
y crepe
creepy
the farm cot you cover
the comfort you crave
having impure thoughts about lining Heathers
lining Heathers
Irish evil henna gelt
taking the largest shit, eh
killing for Ryan North at the Large Shit Inn Toronto, near the Rogers Centre, this Sunday at eight in the evening, eh
Irish henna gelt
Large Shit Inn, Eh
renal shit hinge
learning shit, eh
tarnishing heel
shining leather
inhaling ethers
riling heathens
tabbing out of a message accidentally, hitting any key and seeing it sent, incomplete, making you look like a retard, because clearly only a retard wouldn't want the first thing you tab onto to be the 'send' button, god, what a retard
heiling Shatner
that John Lithgow told Shatner to go fuck himself
bottoming for Chris Lydon and a walrus in Boston Sea Party I through MMMCXLVIII
that von Lettow told Hitler to go fuck himself
Juche Ramen Bar
Boston Nazi Party
Boston Sea Party
Beefsteak Victor Charlie's
Black Panther Angus
Doctor Josef Mengele's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Master Race Steakery
saving the lives of thousands of Jews by putting them to work in your Cheesecake Factory
Adrienne Lecouvreur
Africanized Applebee's
Joe Stalin's Crab Shack
The Cheesecake Sweatshop
Pizza Bunker
Kentucky Gassed Chicken
Papa Doc's Pizza
Little Keiser's Pizza
Ku Klux Krispy Kreme
Khmer Rouge Lobster
TGIKony's
Swastikabucks
Chick fil Apartheid
McHuman Experimentation
Unterweg
Fu Manchu Wok
Taco Gulag
Burger Nanking
Aryan Castle
Steak n Shoah
Wienerfuhrer
a lot of doors
Villagers can be farmed by enclosing two villagers in an area with a lot of doors
Planet Hot Tub
Gassing Robbins
KGB Friday's
Roscoe's Chicken and Genocide
International Concentration Camp of Pancakes
being really glad you don't run a cafe, because today's special would have been the Wafflecaust and you'd be in the headlines already
that apparently the football is still on
wafflecaust denial
drawing a picture of Shia Laboeuf and Jamie Oliver braiding their fudge tunnels together
drawing a picture of Jamie Oliver braiding his food tube and fudge tunnel together
not at all, we've got God on our side
seeing a headline describing Germany's victory as "waffletastic" and wondering what stopped the writer from just going all the way and calling it a "wafflecaust"
This fan decided to release his anger by attempting to be the Brazilian flag
Jamie Oliver's beouf tod
Jamie Oliver's fudge tunnel
Jamie Oliver's food tube
This fan decided to release his anger by attempting to eat the Brazilian flag
sprinking Danish remoulade on Jewel's erect waffles
meeting Bryan Bartlett "Bart" Starr
Kento's TED spies
Kento's deep sits
Kento's teed piss
Kento's side pets
your brinkist streak
being born too late for coal mines on Mars and too early for claiming there are no coal mines on Earth
there are no coal mines on Mars
Bryan Bartlett "Bart" Starr
seeing a headline describing Germany's victory as a "zit rook" and wondering what stopped the writer from just going all the way and calling it a "bitch seagull"
sometimes suspecting that you are a misanthrope
seeing a regret describing Germany's victory as a "blitzkrieg" and inferring that the football is over
seeing a headline describing Germany's victory as a "blitzkrieg" and wondering what stopped the writer from just going all the way and calling it a "holocaust"
the Luftwaffle, the Waffletastic Generals of the History Channel
taking your time and making me love you good
the Luftwaffe, the Washington Generals of the History Channel
the third most common cause of stalling
it was just vapor lock
you just don't understand soccer, Marge
aw, the Denver Broncos!
Brasil Colon The Denver Broncos of Soccer
a little pipsqueak government, didn't amount to very much
wondering who the target segment for RapeAdvisor would even be, then imagining that it's helping keep Roman Polanski up to date on where and when he is allowed to travel
updating RapeAdvisor
updating TripAdvisor
looking down, voting "No"
Rowling is eligible to vote in the twenty fourteen referendum on Scottish independence, and intends to vote "No"
on the eve of the Labour Party Conference, Rowling announced that she had donated one million pounds to the Labour Party, and publicly endorsed Labour Prime Minister Gordon Brown over Tory challenger David Cameron
The largest to the Better Together campaign so far was one million pounds, from Harry Potter author JK Rowling in June this year
Yes Scotland said the pro Union backers were funded by wealthy landowners and "rich Tories" without a vote
Peaches Colon Geldof
softysouping
figs onus typo
and you're still doing the same job now
getting regret number two three two zero seven and not remembering writing it, although it does match your feelings around the time it was written
pussyfooting
Bob Geldof on Death of Daughter Peaches Colon 'It's Intolerable'
To call a woman a "a bitch" is to impute "linty anuses" to her
To call a woman a "Sienna" is to impute "a lusty bitch" to her
To call a woman a "lesbian" is to impute "unchastity" to her
The Slander of Women Act eighteen ninety one is repealed
A statement is not defamatory unless its publication has caused or is likely to cause serious harm to the reputation of the claimant
misreading "orifices" as "offices" and almost making a very wrong offer of amends
wondering how much mileage there is in rewriting Jaws as a comedy about three tailors trying to land a lucrative contract making clothes for the world's fattest and richest man, just for the line "We're gonna need a bigger belt"
in order to prove libel, one must first prove the falsehood of the statement
wondering if Winona Ryder is going to sue us in England for implying she has or had grues inhabiting her orifices
having impure thoughts about getting ye flask
go deeper
you're INSIDE of a teenage Winona Rider, it's too dark to read, you are likely to be eaten by a grue
HMS Queen Elizabeth colon vital statistics
Leaked Star Wars Episode VII Filmset Footage!
introducing Gary to URWIN
it's too dark to read
you're INSIDE of a teenage Winona Rider
you're out of a teenage Winona Rider
outside of a teenage Winona Rider, the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North is a man's best friend
Hot girl CATTY showing her HANGUP !
Hot girl CAUGHT showing her PANTY !
seeing breasts you want to sprink with something when you're out of chocolate chips
seeing shoes you want to drink out of when you're out of champagne
seeing things you want to have impure thoughts about when you're INSIDE of a teenage Winona Rider
seeing nude photos of your ex from five years ago when you're all out of spicy cheetos
seeing things you want to have impure thoughts about when you're out of a teenage Winona Rider
seeing things you want to slather when you're out of donkey sauce
seeing things you wanna be starting when you're out of butter
seeing things you want to Eiffel Tower when you're out of nude thong thong fluid
seeing things you want to deep fry when you're out of batter
seeing things you want to take pictures of when you're out of battery
feeling a kind of imperialist guilt laughing at Wikipedia articles clearly written by people for whom not being high as a fuckdamn kite on cocaine flying a kite on top of a mountain in space is not a normal situation
that concept being heralded by the days modern intimates designers as part of an effort to grab at the elusive ring of crossing over categories
puckled pinks
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be Waffletastic or Not to Be Waffletastic" by the incredibly waffletastic New York Times waffletastic author Ryan North
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be Waffletastic or Not to Be Waffletastic" by the incredibly waffletastic New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
the underwear as outerwear trend
pickled punks
Chip Zdarski
Robert Z'Dar
Richard Gaywood
like sucking the core out of a fig
Jillian T Riker
bottoming for Dick Pound in Dick Pound Two Colon Dick Pounder
that I keep thinking Riker is from Texas but I don't know, Alaska
Pound Meadow Court
mining Jewel's fudge
playing the odobene oboe
that I keep thinking Jewel is from Texas but I don't know, Alaska
this Texan mine can produce upwards of fifty thousand pounds of fudge every hour, provided the miners don't get stuck to the walls
lubing Jewel's fudge tunnel with nude thong thong fluid
this Texan refinery can produce upwards of fifty thousand barrels of nude thong thong fluid each day
she was about a quart low
changing Jewel's nude thong thong fluid
changing Jewel's colostomy bag
Aspiring Model With Crohn's Disease Isn't Afraid To Show Colostomy Bags In Bikini Photo
A plus plus plus would buy again
rating Jewel's nude thong thong fluid
bottoming for Arthur Colon in The Quiet Storm VII
Eh Is for Arthur Colon Weakened Storm Hits Canada
no you can't
iken dake to
oh, los credulas
Los Luchadores, Eh
Los Luchadores
Plastic Surgery & Plastic Doctor & Plastic Hospital Office for Barbie Version
Fired Hides Crusted with Creosote is Coming to a Seven Eleven Near You
The biggest movers this week were Sweden's krona and Norway's krone after a rate cut by the Riksbank
Ian Homo Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Old Oat Pasta, no homo
Fried Cheese Crusted with Doritos is Coming to a Seven Eleven Near You
Jewel's 'throat honing fudge tunnel dud'
Jewel's 'unrated nude thong thong fluid'
Jewel's 'thoughtful and tender undoing'
Ian Homo Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Old Oat Pasta
Ohio Man Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Old Oat Pasta
Ohio Man Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Potato Salad
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's twin long rods
slapping that marlin ass, making that grouper butt shake
Jar Jar's Grand Nu Lab Bitch
Jar Jar's Bar and Nightclub
they don't give a fuck about anybody else
a pot, jar or other container used to store honey
Kento's plerergate abdomen
Pinchy would have wanted it this way
prison shower tender consensual lovemaking
prison shower rape
Newburyport Soccer Club
with a rebel guilt, crying utini utini utini
feeling a kind of rebel guilt laughing at wookieepedia articles written by species for whom basic is not a first language, utini
feeling a kind of rebel guilt laughing at wookieepedia articles written by species for whom basic is not a first language
feeling a kind of imperialist guilt laughing at Wikipedia articles clearly written by people for whom English is probably not even a second language
Innsmouth Town Football Club
armadillos and armadillo aficionados
With him being a part of an endangered species, and being a major part in the environmental drive for the tournament, he has become more popular, particularly with children and dancers
Ipswich Town Football Club
taking a straight razor to your arm and just slashing and slashing and slashing to get Fuleco's awareness out of you, and it is still there DEAR GOD WHY IS IT STILL THERE
na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na Fuleco
Fuleco's awareness is growing inside you
Fuleco's awareness is growing all over the world
Fuleco
mucky floors
fucking Muk
lucking flaw
fucking luck
wondering if Gary is Gary Glitter, since that would be just your fucking luck
maybe you all are homosexuals too!
it makes you look like a homosexual
hey, that's some outfit
this is what comptrolling is all about
the beetles
in some Inuit societies in the Arctic, and traditionally in Bali, mothers would routinely stroke the penises of their infant sons
when you want the flavor of bacon in a dip
wondering if Gary is Gary Busey, because he is the kind of guy who probably can't spell his own name
wondering Gary is Gary Coleman's fucking forearm
wondering Gary is Gary Coleman
either way
it's definitely a possibility
suspecting that Gary Oldman can spell his name consistently
wondering if Gary is Gary Oldman
he's started signing his texts xx
Gary usually calls on Saturdays
wondering if there is any news from Gary
bottoming for Tory Conservative in Precious Little Left Left LVI
bottoming for Tory Conservative in Precious Little Left Left VII
Canadad, eh
masturbating while reminiscing of bygone loves
yo, Blair
plus a large chunk of the US seems to think European welfare states equate directly to communism, so you know, she's hedging her bets for future elections
she's got a point, there's precious little left left
It doesn't matter in our country whether it's a Republican or a Democrat or frankly, in your country, whether it's a Conservative or a Tory
wondering why the marketing department at Cheetos hasn't positioned their product as the snack food of choice for masturbating while reminiscing of bygone loves
suddenly being reminded of regret five seven eight nine one, and wishing you had some spicy cheetos
that maybe we could use a bat penis for centering smooth moms
that maybe we could use a bat penis for stemming homo cornets
Chesty Mormon
that maybe we could use a bat penis for emoting Mormon chests
that maybe we could use a bat penis for comments or something
that maybe we could use a pastebin for comments or something
shaving to share a bunk with Darth Onan at Sith Camp
having to share a bunk with Darth Onan at Sith Camp
Lucasising, the exercise program for septuagenarians who want to look like lumberjacks
da krone, da bears
Darth Onan
Lucasising "Dark One"
anagramming "and roke"
ad usum Delphini
bowdlerizing "cum and roke"
spoonerising "rum and coke"
liking your women like you like your Coca Cola, ice cold
also, with a lot of rum in it
liking your Coca Cola like you like your women, sweet, flat, and dark brown
teaching a dog to say "Luh Loh" and giving it to Shu Qi
liking your Coca Cola like you like your coffee, uncarbonated
Burnt Cork
liking flat Coca Cola more than carbonated
MC Hammer
Amelia Bloomer
Antonio de La Gandara
tightlacing
that hilarious voice could be your ticket to stardom
maybe a little malice
wishing without malice that he were dead
knowing the guy who worked on the thing that saved some lives from mazuku
mazuku
accidentally mailing the silk qi's mud to Hayden Christensen and the nads to PETAHQ
accidentally mailing the squid's milk to Hayden Christensen and the sand to PETAHQ
saying hi to PETAHQ
PMS, creeMS
GPS, creePS
bellowing horizontally in Belo Horizonte
Belo Horizonte being a great gay porn star name
I wish we could use comments to do that
wanting to draw attention to the regret "the life of Won't Smith", because it made you laugh out loud
Chris Lydon spearheaded the anal cavity
the methods behind his previous plots, including sending explosive printer cartridges by mail, placing explosives in a would be bomber's underpants and also inside his brother's anal cavity drifting free like two lost leaves on the crazy wind of the night
Chris Lydon spearheaded the development of the anal cavity bomb
the methods behind his previous plots, including sending explosive printer cartridges by mail, placing explosives in a would be bomber's underpants and also inside his brother's anal cavity
drifting free like two lost leaves on the crazy wind of the night
New Century Media
casting the ass bondage spell on Kento's father
casting the mind bondage spell on your father
Tim Duncan being seduced by the exotic and sinister world of role playing games
being seduced by the exotic and sinister world of role playing games
darkdungeonsthemovie dot com
fifty six
saying hello to GCHQ
Dollar Advances on Payrolls Report as Krona Weakens With Aussie
Dutch court Colon Black Pete is a negative stereotype
Roy 'Chubby' Brown
wearing a jerkin made of Lindsay Lohan's breast leather
the Valsalva device
Hitler Lohan
drawing a picture of Jason Bateman hitting on a knocked up teen Hitler
Lindsay Lohan is suing the makers of PETTY LARCENY
agent oven k
I mean duh
vegan Kento
Alexis Bledel is suing the makers of Grand Theft Auto
Lindsay Lohan is suing the makers of Grand Theft Auto
yelling "microwave burrito" when the judge called for order in the court
wondering if the regretter who pretends to be in France would travel to England when Roman Polanski sues us, or would just post regrets like zut alors, je suis dans la continent, je n'attendez pas
that you can't get pregnant without rape gnnt
getting teen jitler pregnant
getting jitler pregnant
getting teen Hitler pregnant
getting Hitler pregnant
winning Carney Testes Champion with seventeen votes
Blood and Babugas Colon The Go Ikeda Story
Blood and Dongs Colon The Kento Ikeda Story
Blood and Dugongs Colon The Kento Ikeda Story
probably wanting to leave England when Roman Polanski sues us
not wanting to have to travel all the way to England when Roman Polanski sues us
Kento's achy moist preteen scan
Kento's carney champion testes
wondering how you would characterize your contributions to the amazing Regret Index were they ever brought up in court
Kento's testy anchorman pieces
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has told Canadian media he was "born a waffleholic" and had used "every breakfast starch you can probably think of"
Rob Ford's crippling chlorothiazide habit
the rape sonnet is such an underappreciated form of poetry
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has told Canadian media he was "born an alcoholic" and had used "every drug you can probably think of"
Kento's Misty rape sonnet cache
Swanmore Avenue
Could Baguette's syndrome make a goalkeeper butter
Could Tourette's syndrome make a goalkeeper better
Butts Road, Sholing, Southampton
Kento's sympathetic resonance
I'm a fucking lawyer
Gerry Adjmi
zoo time, is Chris and you time, the walrus are your favorite type, Eiffel Tower tonight
the chief reason why inequality declined with the recession
shoes in hand, don't make a sound
A college student plotted to kill non Aryans in a cyanide attack, a court has heard
Kento's crooked vagina
guys with bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penises
women with crooked vaginas
guys with cuspid veneers
guys with curved penises
Deep Ganguly, aged ten, says the water "smells fishy"
Woman raped in 'broad daylight' in Bagshot
the great ember pooping serpent of Aztec mythology
Flava Flerovium
ember pooping serpent
booming preteen preps
meeting Boron Peppers
Mitt Meitnerium
Caesar Caesium
promising to check into a hotel as Tim Tin sjould you ever need a pseudonym
Magnus Ver Magnesium
Vladimir Plutonium
Francis Francium
Tim Tin
Lawrence Lawrencium
Barry Barium
Sam Samarium
Orel Oxygen
Tim Tungsten
Roman Polonium
Christoper Chlorine
Carl Calcium
Myke Arbon
Freddie Mercury
Rutherford Rutherfordium
Joel Silver
Tracey Gold
bottoming for Leon Neon in Noble Asses X
Jeremys Iron
Ruth Ruthenium
Hayden Silicon
Hayden Hydrogen
Fred Lead
Leon Neon
Pierre Gallium
Dan Scandium
Marcus Phosphorus
Colin Flerovium
Ryan Yttrium
George Dubnium
Anthony Argon
Nate Polonium
muttering
Paul Bismuth, Jedi Knight
Julian Ununoctium
Edmund Americium
kenneth Hydrogen
Manny Iron
Your potential regret of d has already been added!
Desmond Rubiium
Frank Antimony
Paul Bismuth
Frozen testicle 'live birth first'
using the wrong autofill to make a regret
being first denounced, then tortured, then killed by micropenises
trying to outrun your fear
hundreds of trout of different sizes
Panama's Ruby Lust
Su's Anal Bum Party
yoctomom
welp
yocotmom
yoctopenises
micropenises
fist rape gun firing
first rate gun firing
firing Chekov's gun in the bath
clathrate cunt lapping
firing your Clathrate gun in the bath
the Clathrate gun hypothesis
USC study shows 'bears' are likely to 'shit in woods'
USC study shows teen 'sexters' are more likely to be sexually active
HALF BACK PASSES TO CENTER! BACK TO WING! BACK TO CENTER! CENTER HOLDS IT! HOLDS IT! HOOOOLDS IT!
Veteran muppet Rowlf has been found guilty of twelve, TWELVE ah ah aah counts of indecently assaulting one two three four, FOUR tube socks, ah ah ah aah
you already know the channel ident tune
MNN
weather and travel with Beaker
Veteran entertainer Rolf Harris has been found guilty of twelve, TWELVE ah ah aah counts of indecently assaulting one two three four, FOUR girls, ah ah ah aah
really screwing that last regret up, sorry
Veteran entertainer Rolf Harris has been found guilty of twelve ah ah aah counts of indecently assaulting four girls, ah ah ah aah
FEELING WHICH it IS, ALWAYS
HEARING what it was, NEVER
seeing what it was, ever
Veteran entertainer Rolf Harris has been found guilty of twelve counts of indecently assaulting four girls
Play throws up owner's missing wedding ring
Kid throws up owner's missing wedding ring
Dog throws up owner's missing wedding ring inside the other woman in front of the crew
Dog throws up owner's missing wedding ring
inside the other woman in front of the crew
inoculating in your moment of triumph
drawing a picture of the frozen corpses of busty, hardly dressed women who were on the hull of your yacht when you partially detached from the base and flew into the upper atmosphere in your sub orbital transport
evacuaing he planearium in you momen of riumph
ejacuating in your moment of triumph
edutainment
runnin through the okra patch
After one woman left he continued to "manipulate the dildo" inside the other woman in front of the crew
the Chicago Bears Sex Boat, da bears
the Minnesota Vikings Sex Boat, don'tcha know
a mean little tell all book filled with nothing but lies and pictures of also lies
on my knees, finally, the irony is you saying please
being so bad at cunnilingus you give a man ptsd
being so bad at cunnilingus you give a woman ptsd
Pipe Mania
something something Vikings something beards something yachts
the Minnesota Vikings Sex Boat
if you know what I mean
I don't know, the busty, hardly dressed women are also a big perk
thinking there's not really any point to being rich unless you can have a yacht that can partially detach from its base and become a sub orbital transport
you don't sell the yacht, you sell the lifestyle
watching twenty four kbit Realplayer promos for Bottom of the Barrel dilapidated yachts and wondering if the desperately poor really do just drink rubbing alchohol all day under a bridge in the hollow shell of a two meter yacht with a trannie hooker
watching Quicktime promos for Stigma downmarket yachts and wondering if the poor really do just drift around all day in a three meter yacht covered with shrill, squawking women
watching Youtube promos for Adequacy budget yachts and wondering if middle class guys really do just slowly cruise around in a nineteen meter yacht covered with flat chested, mostly covered up women
advertising making you add the word "luxury" before the word "yacht" as though there were any such thing as a non luxury yacht
the company tweeted Adios Amigos! #NEDMEX with a photo that featured a caricature icon of a mustachioed, Mexican man in a sombrero
watching Youtube promos for Prestige luxury yachts and wondering if rich guys really do just speed around in a twenty meter yacht covered with busty, hardly dressed women
New Bride Rushed To Hospital Still Having Orgasms Two Hours After Sex, While Husband Records It
This Is When It's Okay To Look For Sex Outside Your Marriage
EPA Employee Downloaded Seven Thousand Files Of Porn At Work And Watched Them Two to Six Hours A Day
EPA Employees Asked To Stop Pooping In The Hallway
my motherfucker's so cool, when he goes to bed sheep count him
Hao Long is a Chinaman's name
watching a let's play of Assassin's Creed Colon Liberation, then the beginning of Heist immediately after, and briefly thinking Gene Hackman was a fairly but not convincing NPC
fucking herbs in a sausage!
Enchilada Coli
Timothy Ray Murray says on his website that incumbent Oklahoman congressman Frank Lucas is dead, and has been replaced by a body double
suspecting that hovercrafts do not in fact float over landmines without detonating them
not remembering whether Kim Jong il declared war over Die Another Day
Qeri Koulmans fakin fouarn
wondering if Gary Oldman has ever gone to Azerbaijan and gotten upset when people mistakenly spelled his name "Qeri" instead of "Qari"
reaching the conclusion that Azerbaijan is adorable
Tom Kruz
Penelopa Kruz
Xoakin Feniks
Jerar Depardye
Mikki Rurk
Qeri Ueyn Koulman
Qari Oldmen
Corc Lukas
Corc Kluni
E coli
Deniel Dey Lyuis
A coli
Ancelina Coli
Qvinet Peltrou
Meril Strip
Riz Uizerspun
Sir Ceyms Pol Makkartni
Stiven Spilberq
Filip Seymur Hoffman
Kevins Kostners
Dzulija Robertsa
yw gwarier amerikan geryes da
Tomass Dzefrijs "Toms" Henkss
TOM XeHKC
Tomu Hankusu
Tomas Cefri Henks
Headland Security
Tom Henks
total freedom
bottoming for Troy Headland in Another AIDS Die
thinking "you lie, Headland Troy"
thinking you'll dye another aid
thinking you'll die another day
Sofia Margarita Vergara Vergara
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person shooter
spooning Tom Boobs
inventing the obviative shooter
wondering if there is a transsexual pornstar named Hymen Christensen
using the word "waffletastic" rubbing one out in the bathroom at church sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them not being Kento drinking champagne out of a chimp anus
inventing the first second person shooter
internet trolls are a superstitious myth, says Dawkins
the British government would never, ever, under any circumstances, doing anything shady involving the internet
that Scotland doesn't even have any laws, because everybody is perfect, all of the time
no true Scotsman would ever call someone a bitch, or threaten to chin ye
Ms McKelvie gave credence to what she described as "interesting" theories of MIfive attempts to discredit nationalists
the SNP's Christina McKelvie reportedly suggested that there was no link whatsoever between the accounts which sent the author abuse and "anything to do with the Yes campaign"
Dov Charney allegedly seen dancing nude in front of employees
the Hun King Zoro
the hung oink orz
the gunk horizon
the zonking hour
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "waffletastic" to hold your boobs when you run down the stairs
wondering if there is a transsexual pornstar named Tom Boobs accidentally mailing the fudge to Hayden Christensen and the sand to Tom Cruise
wondering if there is a transsexual pornstar named Tom Boobs
accidentally mailing the fudge to Hayden Christensen and the sand to Tom Cruise
boopie doo, ah
Tom Cruise packing his fudge and saying goodbye to the circus
Nellie the Elephant packing her trunk and saying goodbye to the circus
the way that a walrus always says "orf" to you after you have sex, then shits in your pansies
the way that a walrus always says "orf" to you after you have sex, then continues to have sex with you
Top Bunk Nine the Mass Grave
the way that Chris Lydon always says "that'll do, pig, that'll do" to you after you have sex
Bassinet Three the Crypt
Cradle Two the Grave
Carbonado do Sergio
the sperm shortage is getting so bad that some fertility clinics are considering beginning to accept sperm from guys with teeth that fucked u parent
bloody walrusballs
crip diamonds
blood BUCKYBALLS
blood diamonds
un machicoulis
liking your women like you like your coffee, able to cause a tension headache within a few seconds of exposure
Tom Cruise's penchant for paying men to put their tools in his mouth and drill him repeatedly
wondering what Tom Cruise's teeth would be like if any of them were actually still natural
Myke Hawkeing women
squawking women
the sperm shortage is getting so bad that some fertility clinics are considering beginning to accept sperm from guys with teeth that AREN'T fucked up
wondering where the UK is going to find enough doughy, pasty sperm to satsify the needs of all their shrill, squawking women
murder holes
thinking anal rape was like getting raped by a really uptight person
wondering if it is even possible to import Scottish sperm, or whether no true Scotsman would ever leave Scotland
F##king go for it, man!
foreigners, coming over here, taking our women
The UK is facing a major sperm shortage that may be tempting fertility clinics to accept poorer quality sperm
possibly with irony, but without the intention of irony, which is technically impossible to have in any case
honestly, without irony, thinking Diane Sawyer was the news lady from Family Guy
journalist Diane Sawyer will be stepping down as the anchor of the nightly newscast "ABC World News,"
Roman Polanski wants to shoot a movie in his native Poland about the nineteenth century Dreyfus Affair if the director gets assurances that he will have no legal problems stemming from a nineteenseventyseven sex crime conviction
the death of Bobby Womack
thinking analysis was like dialysis for constipated people
Anal bum cover mars NASA 'saucer' test flight
it's way more than that
Bum parachute mars NASA 'saucer' test flight
Facebook admits to 'posting excrement' from seven hundred thousand users
making low density supersonic decelerator animals
Facebook admits to 'proctology experiment' on seven hundred thousand users
Facebook admits to 'psychology experiment' on seven hundred thousand users
guessing that it's more of a b sound
shaving Tzipi Shavit in a tipi
pounding hot adamantium with your uru hammer
obtaining a load of old bollocks by doing a load of old bollocks with a load of old bollocks
obtaining vibranium by sacrificing anodes of transformium in an unobtainium bath
I'm spinning around, move out of my way
the Sino barbarian dichotomy
the eternally galling necessity of sleep
Mo' Lens, No Mo'
clothyard shafts
biting down so hard
Transformium
Transformers Colon Age of Extinction, review colon 'spectacular junk'
doing a google image search for "arrowed"
Go Reams Nude to return to TV screens
Enema Gourds to return to TV screens
Sumo Grenade to return to TV screens
Gonad Resume to return to TV screens
Gander Mouse to return to TV screens
Garden Mouse to return to TV screens
Danger Mouse to return to TV screens
Mo' Lens
lemons
rolling with the typos
falling back to Melons Titith
falling back to Minas Tirith
melons
you don't have to sit around complaining 'bout the way your life has wound up
Team Rape Trays Geldof
Stray Meat Rape Geldof
Samray Tartpee, Jedi Knight
combining the concepts of "Sam Ray" and "tart pee" and getting chimps
combining the concepts of "yam rape" and "taters" and getting chimps
combining the concepts of "rape" and "tasty ream" and getting chimps
stray meat rape
combining the concepts of "stray" and "meat rape" and getting chimps
Hug Me Spud, the hot new toy for the twenty fourteen Christmas season
science cannot move forward without hug me spud
science cannot move forward without huge dumps
science cannot move forward without heaps
bottoming for Ron Burtitio in Soap Tutortials VII
A Pit Zit Shiv
you want to piss on his grave
a patriot's soup tutortials
a patriot's soap tutortials
It said that Falstad Wildhammer was going to be on the Council of Three Hammers, but in the beta it's Kurdran Wildhammer, and Falstad is not in the game at all
combining the concepts of "smear" and "tea party" and getting chimps
that the only thing that you regret about Mark Mayfield's death is that you'll have to travel to the shithole that is Mississippi if you want to piss on his grave
eating nakkos while you wait for you tutortials
delicious pan fried tutortials
tutorials, even
soap tutortials
a patriot's soul
Mississippi tea party leader tied to campaign smear dead in apparent suicide
Tzipi Shavit
using the words "deep throating Stephen Fry"
wondering how long it will be before a tedious and bland film about the murder of Helene Pastor arrives
Mr Cameron was led from the legendary Midtown theater crying and flanked by numerous convicted criminals and paedophiles he had apparently not noticed were criminals and paedophiles despite knowing them personally for many years
Mr Cameron drunkenly puffed away on cigarettes inside Studio fiftyfour, grabbed the butts of several actors and threatened cops before he was hauled away at intermission, sources and a rep for the show said
Mr Cameron issued a stark warning that the appointment of the former Luxembourg Premier as head of the European Commission could have a big impact on British public opinion ahead of the inlout referendum he has promised, because you can promise anything
Mr Cameron warned other EU leaders today that they would "live to regret" their decision and that he would be a "building a laser on the moon to deal with them"
Patrick Rock
Stede Bonnet
gray ,secnetnes rieht fo dne eht ta yas elpoep hsinroC tahw gnirednow
agh
wondering what Cornish people say at the end of their sentences, yarg
a school being closed and the public warned to avoid the area as armed police hunt a sixty year old Elvis impersonator with 'access to guns', following what they describe as a domestic incident, Now you can have sex with your iPad
Now you can have sex with your iPad
wondering what Cornish people say at the end of their sentences
a school being closed and the public warned to avoid the area as armed police hunt a sixty year old Elvis impersonator with 'access to guns', following what they describe as a domestic incident
Shia LaBeouf taken into police custody at Cabaret show
voicing Junk Orgy Dad in Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling
voicing Junkyard Dog in Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling
Lad Comics
pistolpandaphobia
one night she shot out the light, Bang!
pistolpetaphobia, the fear of queefing squid's milk at a PETA convention
pistolpetaphobia
gerontoodobenophilia
odobenophilia
odobenophobia
gerontophobia
gelatophobia
gelotophobia
Snakes and bees 'flush out' Boko Haram fighters
fembots with illegal five speed groins
drawing a picture of Kento being Cockpit Theatred by the cook, the thief, his wife & her lover
Disco Clam
People are like, 'Feed the bears!' No, we're not going to feed the bears
Authorities had to give up onto the protests happened about the grittier side of nature earlier this month in Minnesota
Viewers find it disturbing to watch baby eagle dying on webcam
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
Newington Butts
the Swan Theatre
the Myke Hawkepit Theatre
the Flight Deck Theatre
drawing a picture of Kento being Bermuda Triangled by DB Cooper and a sasquatch
John Best, "cockmaster" to Henry Frederick, Prince of Wales, King James I's eldest son and heir
the Cockpit Theatre
'Tis Pity She's a Row, Eh
'Tis Pity She's a Bee
lending your colon bees to an urgent colon beekeeper
'Tis Pity She's a Whore
still getting messages from Gary
getting an email titled "Urgent Colon Bees"
hotBITCH
hitchBOT dot eh
hitchBOT
Google reveals first Android Wear watches to go on sale, public braces for rise in numbers of twats playing secret agent
Jimmy Savile sexually assaulted victims aged five to seventy five in NHS hospitals over decades of unrestricted access, investigators say
wondering if the Will Smith from Kepler oneeightysixf forced his untalented son to costar with him in critical and commercial failure After Kepler Oneeightysixf
drawing a picture of the Will Smith from Kepler oneeightysixf punching an Earthling in the face and saying "WELCOME TO KEPLER ONEEIGHTYSIXF"
A better than fifty fifty chance Kepler oneeightysixf has teleological life
technological life
moon bottoming for Buggery Rash Carl Geldof in Facebook Victims VII
moon
bottoming for Buggery Rash Carl Geldof in Facebook Victims VII
Buggery Rash Carl's Jr
Minnesota Man Faces Buggery Rash Carl After Logging Into Facebook on Victim's Computer
Minnesota Man Faces Burglary Charges After Logging Into Facebook on Victim's Computer
naming your planet after dirt and having only flown to your own moon
giving manic pixie dreams on a planet having life when the only data point you have is Earth
giving odds
giving odds on a planet having life when the only data point you have is Earth
Baldo "Nopz" Freebasei Geldof
that we're all going to look like idiots if analysis of signals from Kepler oneeightysixf reveals names like Baldo "Nopz" Freebasei and Sculpy Doots are commonplace there
A better than fifty fifty chance Kepleroneeightysixf has podcasters and aquatic mammals that want to space bridge Kento
A better than fifty fifty chance Kepler oneeightysixf has technological life
wondering if William Hague actually thinks people listen when he speaks, let alone get his mangled references
sometimes you just gotta wait
your grandpa is bobbing for ovaries like a champ
we were led by Disraeli, our predecessors knew Disraeli, Disraeli was a Conservative through and through, and, Ed Miliband, you are no Disraeli
that qwantz dot wales slash regret is not a real place you can go to look you
Senator, you're no Myke Hawke
Myke Hawke was a friend of mine
I knew Myke Hawke
I served with Myke Hawke
that qwantz dot wales slash regret is not a real place you can go to
Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy
Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine
I knew Jack Kennedy
I served with Jack Kennedy
qwantz dot wales slash regret
Novemberfest
not knowing jack
Oktoberfest
shooting Han Solo in the crotch with a blaster when you were a Rodian
shooting Hank Hill in the urethra with an arrow when you were a kid
Jussi Halla aho
Small Porgies
London's mayor cum novelty infrastructure tsar
super baked and watching supernatural
Peter Nippers wants beaming charges dismissed on mental health grounds
Peter Slipper wants fraud charges dismissed on mental health grounds
getting nads in your vagina statue
vaginastone baked pizza
getting bread in your vagina statue
vaginastone
getting sand in your vagina statue
Manic Pixie Dream Girl Geldof
manic pixie dream numbers
odd perfect numbers
Man gets NSA from statue of a vagina in Germany
Man gets STD from statue of a vagina in Germany
Obama gets stuck inside Angela Merkel's vagina in Germany
The sculpture, called Pi Chacan, was erected in front of the Institute of Microbiology and Virology at the university in two thousand one
Man gets stuck inside Angela Merkel's vagina in Germany
Man gets stuck inside a statue of a vagina in Germany
There is no programme of mass surveillance and there is no surveillance state
Kendra Wilkinson's husband Hank Baskett accused of sexual relationship with transsexual model
Rash cover to be built in evil vat
Hover cars to be built in evil vat
Hover cars to be built in Tel Aviv
Gary Oldman, more like Gary Oldman, amirite
Kidnapped baby in Texas found by jogger
Rupert Murdoch has been officially informed by Scotland Yard that detectives want to interview him as a suspect as part of their inquiry into allegations of crime at his British newspapers
The editor of the Sheffield Star has demanded an explanation as to why his reporter, Alex Evans, was warned off filming a protest against cuts to free travel provision for pensioners and disabled people by British transport police officers on Monday
the death of Lance Ferguson Prayogg
Is Gary Oldman calling Gary Numan an idiot by blasting talentless pop stars for pretending to be robots
Is Gary Oldman calling Miley Cyrus an idiot by blasting talentless pop stars for twerking
realizing that American Idol is probably now older than much of its target audience
being put on trial for unspecified crimes against the state
Plop Dylan
Macaulay Culkin is like the male, singleton Mary Kate and Ashley Olson
getting a wet willy from the wet bandit when you were home alone
that "wet bandit" originated from Macauley Culkin's pet name for Michael Jackson
wondering why Jaden Smith's voice reminds you of a talking frog
After Earth
The Return of the Wet Bandits
slamming SOMEBODY ELSE'S dick in TWO waffle STEELS
Hard Alone
jumbo waffles
wondering if there really is a super creepy porno version of Home Alone out there
slamming your dick in a waffle iron
Waffles, the gentleman thief
jimbo waffles
using the word "walestastic" isn't it
slamming your waffle in the car door
CALCULATION CHARGE
wondering how far this will push back the new X Men movie
FBI colon one hundred and sixty eight kids kids rescued, two hundred and eighty one pimps nabbed in sex trafficking crackdown
algorithm march
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in Have No Loom
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in Homo Alone V
Korean lie trait purges
five Home Alone movies
Korean literati purges
out of focus proctology
out of focus ideology
wanting to register jimbo wales, and the wales sister, dot
wanting to register sambo dot chuppers
wanting to register jimbo dot wales
First Minster Carwyn Jones said it would "enhance the global presence of brand Wales, look you now"
New domain names set to 'sell' Wales to the world, isn't it
The AI Box Experiment, if you know what I mean
The John Birch Society adamantly labeled Eisenhower as a "socialist"
Jack Chick apparently rejects the idea of QCD, or at least the idea that gluons exist
abominable intelligence
The AI Box Experiment
playing dik
playing kid
playing dog
the Singularity
drawing a picture of Kento Marek being Tosche Stationed by a septuagenarian Han Solo and Val'kilmer the Hutt
Talonbane Cobra
Val Kilmer In Talks To Make Cameo Appearance As Jabba the Hutt's Older, Fatter Brother In 'Star Wars Colon Episode VII'
Tom Cruise In Talks To Make Cameo Appearance In 'Star Wars Colon Episode VII'
Einsiedlerkoenigreich
your sharona
playing god
the amazing Rapagram Index
eating out Shumway on a Segway on a subway in Singapore
raping ten lichees
sleeping in her cat
kneading to cum
needing to come
Michael Crichton, Leprechaun
sleeping in the car
hatters gonna hat
as if there were any other kind
lending your bra to a dishonest hatter
confusing bra hat rib with B'nai B'rith
confusing bara brith with B'nai B'rith
Lawmakers visit Marine held in Mexico, say sergeant 'needs to come'
the Crichton Leprechaun
being almost out of love
being almost out of Africa
eating out Shumway on a subway in Singapore
eating a Shumway on a subway in Singapore
eating a Subway on a subway in Tehran
eating a Randian on a subway in Singapore
eating a durian on a subway in Singapore
being almost out of big swans
being almost completely in mb
being almost out of bread and circuses
being almost out of mb
coincidentally being almost out of bs
fml
Lisa needs chemically stored potential energy
BATTERY
oh ffs
that was suopposed tp
being almost out of bs
thinking you might swing by the Old Swan later if you have time
not being able to copy text on this phpne
appearing ar conventions in costume as Cap'n America, me hearties
great, now I'm senile
appearing ar conventions in costume as Captain America
regret numbers six four one six four and six four one six five
probably should have said boobs again there
that you used to think Riker was from Canada
spooning has the right to children
Boobs of Canada
that you used to think Jewel was from Canada
sorry Jewel
bathing your dick in Jewel's anus
bathing your chimp in Jewel's church
oh a wiseguy, eh, eh
the Three Canadian Stooges
oh a wiseguy, eh
says you
threading your bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis through someone to braid it with that of a walrus is still pretty perverted
and by everyone and everything I mean "mostly ugly goth singers and unemployed fat gay Asians"
hey, Chris Lydon has never forced himself on anyone, he is an omnisexual supermagnet that attracts everyone and everything to him
up a lazy river
wondering who is the more colossal pervert, Dov Charney or Chris Lydon
this is what it sounds like when Red Anchovy cries
eating that whole thing of spicy curry and waking up at whatever awful hour this is when you brother in law gets in from his night shift
this is what it sounds like when Dov Charney cries
allowing an employee to post naked photographs of a former female employee who had sued you
Bob "Barky" Barkhimer
peeling up stream
peeing upstream, odd
going down on the river
going down river
peeing upstream even
peeing up stream
going up the river
seeing a guy dressed like the Fonz, out for a stroll in Leeds
the thrill of the thought that you might give a thought to my plea
probably involving sand people
guessing that there is already a slashfic titled Rough Trade at Tosche Station
assuming that when Luke said "pick up" he meant be Galactic Senate Buildinged by
Canadian woman who stopped car to help ducks faces life in jail after causing fatal crash
assuming that when Luke said "pick up" he meant shoplift
that apparently they're datari, not daktari, poodoo!
that apparently they're datari, not daktari, sithspit
buying all those power converters
buying all those Republic daktari
buying all those carbonite credits
taking a pervy foot vow
buying all those cabron credits
taking a vow of poverty
that ISIS would be a lot more popular if they offered everybody a free owl
ISIS mocks Michelle Obama on Twitter, boasts of Iraq victory
drawing a picture of Ricky Martin being Eiffel Towered by Rory Calhoun and Santa's Little Helper
liking your women like you like your walking and talking, like Rory Calhoun
walking like you talk and talking like you walk
Ricky Martin's "She Bangs, Or So I've Been Led To Believe"
There's a new 'World's Ugliest Dog Colon Steve Buscemi'
liking his films
that if the Celebrity Regretter is Steve Buscemi, you'd just like to say you're sorry ellipsis that he's so UGLY
There's a new "Steve Buscemi"
There's a new 'World's Ugliest Dog'
Frenching that goal
retraining bras
never finishing building that cute berth
never finishing building that trebuchet
In Tournament Packed With Goals, France Stuffs in Five More
I'd say "farewell," but that would be lying, I really hope you fare badly
training bras
getting doored at the dick card
getting dicked at the card door
getting carded at the dick door
the worst hubs
hot boner cash cum hubs
them boobs anus church
grues
surge
urges
you missed two classes and no homework
eating too hot to handle too cold to hold slaw
eating hot slaw
eating cold slaw
the Hungarian conquest of the Carpathian Basin on a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on a throne of blood
the sexual conquest of the Carpathian Basin
the Hungarian conquest of the Carpathian Basin
Michael Fabricant Twitter row Colon David Cameron stands by Tory MP who said he would slam journalist Yasmin Alibhai Brown's dick 'in the card door'
Michael Fabricant Twitter row Colon David Cameron stands by Tory MP who said he would pay hardboiled gumshoe Yasmin Alibhai Brown 'in kroner'
you must fabricate additional michaels
standing by your colon
Michael Fabricant Twitter row Colon David Cameron stands by Tory MP who said he would shoot singer songwriter Jackson C Frank 'in the eye'
Michael Fabricant Twitter row Colon David Cameron stands by Tory MP who said he would grape journalist Yasmin Alibhai Brown 'in the mouth'
finally watching that "I am gonna grape you in the mouth" thing
It was literally an ad for pear
Sandy Vagina Truthers
accidentally implying that Hayden Christensen's first girlfriend was a mule when you meant to imply that his first girlfriend was a sandman, and that the relationship ended badly, possibly because of a sandy vagina
wondering if Hayden Christensen grew up on a farm in Georgia
a teenage girl and thirty nine year old man who desecrated an Edinburgh mosque by attacking it with strips of bacon have both been sent to jail
Cerro Armazones
Michael Fabricant Twitter row Colon David Cameron stands by Tory MP who said he would punch journalist Yasmin Alibhai Brown 'in the throat'
Kento Ikeda, the Colon Pope
Nintendo promises to include gay Eiffel Towering in next Tomodachi Life patch
making members of the Regret Index in Tomodachi Life
Unholy Smoke Colon Pope Condemns Legalization of Pot
It was literally an ad for rape
having sex with and urinating on an underage girl
Chink anus ivy guru spreads to US, Cuba
A Nu Chink Guy virus spreads to US, Cuba
Chikungunya virus spreads to US, Cuba
lending your twinks to an improper twinkkeeper
long term, concurrent fellatio in captive brown TWINKS kept in proper conditions
Chet Haze
I claim it, inamorata
imitation calamari
you and I will meet again, when we're least expecting it
long term, recurrent fellatio in captive brown bears kept in proper conditions
When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a sandman
National Edge Day
entering sandman
Vegan Reich
Seventy five CDC staff possibly exposed to metallica
Seventy five CDC staff possibly exposed to anthrax
Bicycle Riding Horses Are Everywhere
Fish Eating Spiders Are Everywhere
Bono enjoys a bowl of chowder and a pint while out with his son in the Gaeltacht
West Cardiff pellet gun attack on boy 'sectarian isn't it'
West Belfast pellet gun attack on Jackson C Frank 'sectarian'
la patada de Cuauhtemoc
rabo verde
shiri ga aoi
Mr Weather
Donald Tusk
West Belfast pellet gun attack on boy 'sectarian'
suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend
When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule
In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex
Republican Sen Thad Cochran Colon As a kid, I did "all kinds of indecent things with animals"
Nigel Farage joins forces with far right MEPs in European Parliament for new EFD group
our compulsory owl guarantee would be a head turning policy, but sadly it's no longer going to take flight #tweettwoo
Everybody should have his own owl
Eric Pickles said the economic benefits of expanding the UK's largest film studio overrode the objections of the local council, which had said the development was "inappropriate" for the green belt
Even SpaceX's Elon Musk Fears 'Hand Job' cop slot rape a boy
Even SpaceX's Elon Musk Fears 'Hand Job' Robot Apocalypse
taking a celebrity adventure with the reality star
actually feeling really bad about Argentina because you're pretty sure at least some of that debt was accrued buying overpriced French missiles for the Falklands War
hidin out on thu intanet a niiiite
your internet going down in what ypu hope isn't a hot genteel oral fuck farce, then blase row
Lisa sneered "Scab!"
Even SpaceX's Me No Sulk Fears 'Terminator' Robot Apocalypse
a case of not cable theft
Lisa needs braces
dental plan!
Lisa needs braces
dental plan!
Lisa needs braces
dental plan!
Lisa needs braces
dental plan!
Lisa needs braces
dental plan!
Lisa still needing braces
your internet going down in what ypu hope isn't another week long case of rural cable theft
Even SpaceX's Elon Musk Fears 'Terminator' Robot Apocalypse
playing Kim Kardashian Colon Hollywood
Ay, caramba! Argentina on verge of default
dad remarks stinkers canceled by US Patent Office
Redskins trademarks canceled by US Patent Office
HOT DOLPHIN!
beaming Peter Nippers to meet Pippa Peppers
meeting Pippa Peppers
antisocial insects
The The Defiant Ones
Pooper Middleton
comedian Inverts Meat, who has an acclaimed career as a folk musician
remaking The Neatened Fist Ho with Hayden Christensen and Pippa Middleton
Home Alone Five The Holiday Heist
remaking The Defiant Ones with Hayden Christensen and Pippa Middleton
montages of soldiers shouting, tanks firing in unison and leader Kim Jong un laughing
North Korea "develops Russian cruise missile"
comedian Steve Martin, who has an acclaimed career as a folk musician
Prosecutors on Tuesday said they were dropping a disorderly conduct case against Paul Simon
sending Hayden Christensen heap big sand
sending Hayden Christensen a many redskin
sending Hayden Christensen a sandy merkin
being there, doing that, messing around
thirty foot smurfs
Irish evil spirits dive into big eyes
A curious Ohio DOG who sneaked into an abandoned house over the weekend discovered a mummified corpse hanging inside a closet, unnoticed for nearly five years
A curious Ohio boy who sneaked into an abandoned house over the weekend discovered a mummified corpse hanging inside a closet, unnoticed for nearly five years
Evil spirits dive into big eyes
eusocial insects
social insects
remaking The Defiant Ones with theater and a merkin
remaking The Defiant Ones with theater and a mere fit
remaking The Defiant Ones with Father Time and a tree
Pippa Christensen
putting locks on all the clocks and chaining Father Time to a tree
to prove a point
putting locks on all the clocks and chaining Father Time to a tree to prove a point
the death of Captain Scarlet
sending Hayden Christensen various packages and items filled with various amounts of sand
imagining Hayden Christensen going on a bile filled antisand rant during the Yellowknife Community Theater presentation of Our Town
that Hayden Christensen probably never needs to act again, which is lucky for him, eh
drawing a picture of Pippa Middleton and Hayden Christensen braiding their failed careers together
Hayden Christensen, would be Blue Peter presenter, eh
Pippa Middleton, would be Blue Peter presenter
just really struggling to understand what failed newspaper columnist Pippa Middleton hopes to achieve in life
Flicka Middleton Begins Three Thousand Mile Charity Bike Ride Across US
Pippa Middleton Begins Three Thousand Mile Charity Bike Ride Across YOU
Pippa Middleton Geldof
A Pent Pimp Dildo Begins Three Thousand Mile Charity Bike Ride Across US
Piled Dip Tampon Begins Three Thousand Mile Charity Bike Ride Across US
Pippa Middleton Begins Three Thousand Mile Charity Bike Ride Across US
may the vascular force be with you
LES PORCS EPICS FIVED'S EXCORIATION JUNE CIBORIUM 'COLLAPSAR PEACE' SUBSTRATIFICATION
the Vascular Force
floor paint misbehavin
having never watched Seinfeld
Finding Dory ejaculation in Star Wars VII
Finding Dory
ejaculation in Star Wars VII
the very notion that Harrison Ford has the vascular force to even get an erection
wondering if Han Solo will have problems with premature ejaculation in Star Wars VII
dying a of a nosebleed on your wedding night
ammosexuals, no ammo
Harrison Ford's injury may alter 'Star Wars' filming
Jonathan Palmer AKA Peaches and Cream
desperately trying to shit a cricket ball for the past five years
maybe burning some symbols of the political hegemony right to the ground to make the point that a lot of shit be pretty flammable, yo
being all for kidnapping and coercing leading political figures into making concessions for their social inferiors, Magna Carta style
celebrating Britishness with the strained determination of a man desperately trying to shit a cricket ball for the past five years
two lame duck governments in a row
A Forty Seven Year Old Man Has Amazed Doctors By Subsisting On A Diet of Excrement
orphans were 'shackled to beds and sexually abused by Lib Dems with protection of press and state'
UK is 'shackled to undifferentiated political party system'
China is 'shackled to communist doctrine'
the hugest dress falling out of your poop
the hugest poop falling out of your dress
a nincompoop falling out of your dress
going to the Onion for the first time in years and getting a pop up telling you that you reached your limit of free articles and just assuming it was some kind of parody of cash grabbing news sites
A sagittis Hungarorum, libera nos Domine
a boob falling out of your dress
licking carpet
LEAGUE OF ANGELS
shag acne
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the shag acne out of a mop trope, eh
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a gumshoe trope
Sorothaptic language
like a bitter old picklepuss
yachtislanddesign dot com
holding your anus when you run down the chimp
the death of a messy cake
The people are often heard swearing on the lives of their mother's camels and so forth
the Socialist Democratic Federated Republic of Carbombya
zoinks
T Force
the death of Casey Kasem
walruslike noises
Vegan Balsamic Vinegar Geldof
Dip Dip Dipper Geldof
Chrome's autofill trying to capitalize or antimajuscule initial letters
Pre Moderate Heat Iron Geldof
preheat waffle iron to a moderate heat being such a waffletastic instruction
upside down on the dip dip dipper
preheat grill to a moderate heat being such a worthless instruction
the rare bear, from Peru
thinking Kento needs a slightly patronising theme tune, like Paddington Bear
When recieving oral sex from a girl you cum in her mouth and quickly cover it before you punch her in the stomach, causing the jism to spew out her nose creating tusks and make groaning walruslike noises
between waterboarding and teabagging
how much Khalid Sheikh Mohammed fucks like Ron Jeremy
how much Khalid Sheikh Mohammed looks like Ron Jeremy
giving Khalid Sheikh Mohammed a Dutch oven
wondering if the Guantanamo Bay detainees were given a choice between waterboarding and teabagging
only realizing you'd been raped by a vegan when they spat your semen out
that's kind of hot
imagining a vegan performing a nonconsensual blow job on a man, then later regretting it because the cum wasn't vegan
vegan rape
winning FORTY dollars by MAINLINING A LITER of TRADITIONAL vegan balsamic vinegar
if you give head to people to torture them, or going down is an act of rape, then the ejaculate is no longer vegan
I loved, I mean LOVED, giving head, but suddenly feel a new gag reflex coming on when I think about it
melting the one that got away
meating the one that got away
seating the one that got away
teasing the one that got away
eating the one that got away
being the one that got away
I have had it with this motherfucking sex on this motherfucking train!
sex on a train
a balsamic moon
winning FORTY dollars by MAINLINING A LITER of TRADITIONAL balsamic vinegar
winning FORTY dollars by MAINLINING A LITER of balsamic vinegar
winning FORTY dollars by drinking A LITER of balsamic vinegar
Hidden Spotlit Cock Fear
Lost Deaf Torpid Chicken
the Ice Dicks of Portland
A Crap Ace one point oh
Carapace one point oh
Jerome fifty seven
Madame Muchmoney
the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary
I run around my house naked with heels all the time
rearranging dick arches on the Titanic
rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic
winning twenty dollars by drinking half a liter of vegan tiger blood
winning twenty dollars by drinking half a liter of tiger blood
Mass Euro Cum Paean
Cum Semen Aura Soap
A Spaceman, Our Muse
Aaron Space Museum
just throwing that out there
we should meet up
Man drives hundreds of miles with gross seance prep
Man drives hundreds of miles with corpse passenger
drinking that whole thing of balsamic vinegar and pickling in bed
drinking that whole thing of balsamic vinegar and puking in bed
winning twenty kroners by drinking half a liter of balsamic vinegar
seeing a sign advertising a "cat's rectum cocaine hag"
seeing a sign advertising a "casting couch cream tea"
using the word "lustwaffles"
earning twenty dollars by drinking half a litre of balsamic vinegar
being a slag's hole
seeing you baby, shaking that ass
being a glasshole
work that ass
winning twenty dollars by drinking half a liter of balsamic vinegar
the socialist republic of Portugal
Lisa Simpson performing oral sex
the Galician language
meeting Bryan Singer
using the word "luftwaffles"
brushing the dust off your vulva
Twin Long Rods Geldof
Sex Abuse Scandal May Force Bryan Singer Off 'X Men Colon Apocalypse'
screw frigates
Christianity Today Should Not Have Published a Rapist's Story
brushing the dust off your vuvuzela
really wanting silver blood syrup
really wanting orangutan blood syrup
really wanting blood orange syrup
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her waffles
googling champagne waffles on a whim and now really wanting some
drinking champagne out of a waffle
drawing a picture of Kento being Victory Arched in Tikrit by Saddam Hussein and a Chukar partridge
bottoming for twelve walruses in Twelve Angry Animals VII, Kento
Twelve Angry Animals
Operation Red Dawn
taking pollution down to zero
wondering what the Boston of Iraq is and, by extension, who the Chris Lydon of Iraq is
the hilarious ineptitude of Glegog "Egg" Solo
the hilarious ineptitude of Google Goggles
if Baghdad is to Iraq what New York City is to the United States, then Mosul is even more of a shithole than Detroit
Peaches Geldof, Jedi Knight
Squishable Screenable Putz, Jedi Knight
Squishable Screenable Putz with large pores
Screenable Putz with large pores
Cruel Zen Pope with large breasts
Lo, Prepuce Zen with large breasts
Penelope Cruz with stage barrels
Penelope Cruz with basal regrets
Penelope Cruz with large breasts
While you're watching some nice pieces of ash, you'll also be helping to spruce America up!
the porn industry is calling for a boycott on Samuel L Jackson
Dinnis Rogmuno, Jedi Knight
Dinnis Rogmuno
seeing the words Rodong Sinmun and thinking it was an anagram of Dennis Rodman
forgiving me if it goes astray
I was dreamin when I wrote this
when things catch up
I don't even know your name but I don't think that you do either, Fitzcarraldo fire brimstone perfect silence
therapyretreats dot com, with over a dozen analrapists on staff
SANTORINI pyre treats
thera pyre treats
therapyretreats dot com
drawing a picture of Kim Jong un having the tide torn apart by feral dogs for refusing to obey him
Kim Jong Un to North Korean weather forecasters colon Get it right
Iraq disintegrating underpants as they advance
Iraq disintegrating insurgents as they advance
wondering if the internet is broken
getting an app message that the date and time on your phone is wrong even though it clearly isn't, and finding that the fix is to download a newer version from the Play store, which you can't access apparently because the date and time are allegedly wrong
that'll probably slow them down
Iraq disintegrating as insurgents advance
reports of a seventy one year old man being injured in an incident believed to involve a garage door
See Wolf Balls Decoded in My Asshole Forever
Recalled Beef Sold in Every Mass Whole Foods
Pomegranate Blueberry Flavored Blend of Five Juices
David Cameron hosted a Thai billionaire whose conglomerate is at the centre of Guardian revelations of fishing industry slavery, but did not record the visit on his official list of meetings
a mind controlled robotic exoskeleton
waffle thighs deserve Quentin Git
queen twats deserve high fig flint
night waffles deserve a quiet night
deep throating Stephen Fry using the word "waffletastic"
waking up with the phrase "waffletastic" stuck in your head and suspecting your unconscious mind is retraining as a waffle chef, possibly to spite you
holding your boobs when you use the word "waffletastic"
waking up with the phrase "sui generis" stuck in your head and suspecting your unconscious mind is retraining as a lawyer, possibly to spite you
using the word "waffletastic" in the bathroom at church
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
people who hug MAJORS in public restrooms
people who hug minors in public restrooms
the bitterly ironic beats of Barren Pepsi P, one of the most depressing rappers of all time
Czar Katy L and Barren Pepsi P's cover of 'Dancing in the Street'
hugedumpers
people who have a wide stance in the bathroom
yarg
phine kwybisrfd
people who meat you at the uronal
people who greet you at the urinal
getting AIDS from a Rolling Stone cover
that's just Czar Katy L
getting SIDS from a restaurant cover
people who hum or sing in public restrooms
getting SIDS from a toilet seat cover
getting SADS from a toilet seat
getting AIDS from a toilet seat
being up for the TLC but not the rest of it
that's just TLC raz yak
that's just crazy talk
Rough Sex Monday night workouts
Wednesday night workouts
not being able to hibernate forever
sometimes really wanting to hibernate until everyone stops being so stupid about everything
that regardless of the logic behind the Scottish indepence movement which is admittedly sketchy, it always troubles you to see victimizers having such forceful opinions about how their victims must feel
sometimes really wanting to take up smoking again, or maybe drinking, or probably both
the Winter of Nicotine
the Winter of Incontinence
the Winter of Discontent
the question of devolving limited political powers from the UK Parliament to elected regional assemblies in North East England, North West England and Yorkshire and the Humber respectively
the idea that national unity in a democracy is impossible while even one voice dissents on grounds of historical sovereignty of subsumed regions
The Dignity Project, which carries out work to improve the lives of children in Africa, described the Harry Potter creator as the "juggernaut, bitch"
anyone who would donate a million pounds to an imperialist movement instead of to people who actually need it is in fact a bitch
Themistocles Zammit
science has worked out that pregnancy, hangovers and visits to one's GP may be affected by the awesome power of the moon
The Dignity Project, which carries out work to improve the lives of children in Africa, described the Harry Potter creator as a "bitch"
seeing the headline "US may blacklist Thailand after prawn trade slavery revelations" and thinking "fookin prawns"
Chuck Cunningham Syndrome
the Ted Cruzes of the world
the Slapslapslapper
the Lolcoder
the Kronerpayer
the Chimpanusdrinker
the Gumshoehardboiler
the Butcher Boy
the Bloodbottler
the Maidmasher
the Gizzardgulper
the Meatdripper
the Childchewer
the Manhugger
the Bonecruncher
the Fleshlumpeater
huffing butane
avid btard
David Brat
people from Wales taste of fish
reflecting before you snack
frozen tiger, hidden expiration date
a tiger defying the laws of demolition man
a tiger defying the laws of THE LAKE HOUSE
a tiger defying the laws of gravity
having sex with France's public debt's mother before you married it
sixty percent of French public debt is illegitimate
WWI biscuits to be auctioned in Suffolk
eek
monterey jack
drawing a picture of Buck Rogers being Forth Bridged by Charlie Reid and Craig Reid
consuming a dish of Rob Petrie
Joseph Rowntree study warns of Scots still in poverty by twentyfivetwentyfive, if man is still alive
Joseph Rowntree study warns of Scots still chinning ye by twentytwentyfive
Joseph Rowntree study warns of Scots still in poverty by twentytwentyfive
Rob Petrie was the consummate TV father
burying all those dead Irish babies instead of eating them, what a twist
Promoed Carnage
Cap'n O G Readmore
burying all those dead Irish babies instead of eating them, what a waste
Facts Are Murky on Location of Dead Babies in Ireland
drawing a picture of Sarah Bernhardt fellating an elephant seal while Benny Hill anally penetrates himself with Bernie Mac's severed forearm
that if reddit slash r slash SilentFilmEraActressesPerformingSexActsOnAquaticMammalsWhilstDeceasedBritishSitcomStarsPleasureThemselvesWithDetachedLimbsOfAfricanAmericanComedians ever finds this site, they'll be in heaven
emmental
squeak squeak
heaven, it's just one big orgy
drawing a picture of Lillian Gish beating off a dolphin while Rik Mayall watches from afar and masturbates with Tracy Morgan's amputated leg
Peter the Upstairs Dolphin was buried in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake in accordance with his wishes
Peter the Upstairs Dolphin
transporting Peter downstairs
slamming your spoon in Lillian Gish's dish
slamming your dish in Lillian Gish's boobs
running away with Lillian Gish
dishing Lillian Gish's boobs
Lillian Gish, more lik Lillian DISH amirite
drawing a picture of Tracy Morgan being rear ended by a sleep deprived trucker
Tracy Morgan's rep colon Leg amputation rumors are false
the death of Karma Lily
the death of Rik Mayall
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable ALF
transporting Chris downstairs proved so disruptive to the lessons that, faced with his frequent arousals, it just seemed easier for Ikeda to relieve his urges himself manually
transporting Peter downstairs proved so disruptive to the lessons that, faced with his frequent arousals, it just seemed easier for Lovatt to relieve his urges herself manually
cheeese
that one kind of jumpy rat seems to have escaped
both of us
wondering how many of the regret index regulars are rats
despite all my regret I am still just a rat in a cage
Like humans, rats experience regret colon Study
This weekend, a computer program convinced thirty three percent of a panel of judges in the Penn State showers that it was a thirteen year old Ukrainian boy
This weekend, a computer program convinced thirty three percent of a panel of judges at the University Reading that it was a thirteen year old Ukrainian boy
shooting Justin Bieber in the showers at Penn State when he was not a kid
shooting Justin Bieber in the showers at Penn State when he was a kid
shooting Justin Bieber in the bath when you were a kid
Justin Bieber gets Eiffel Towered in a bath in attempt to wash away sins after racism shame
Justin Bieber gets circumcised in a bath in attempt to wash away sins after racism shame
Justin Bieber gets baptised in a bath in attempt to wash away sins after racism shame
ddaufZpqnXdsNKU
failing to come up with a mutually SUPERLATIVE third person
failing to come with a mutually acceptable third person
ALFILF
Killian Fish
hey guys, remember ALF
Hen Fart Conman
I'll Hail Gins
being born too late for having sex with Lillian Gish and too early for having sex with Christina Ricci
being born too late for having sex with Lillian Gish and too early for cloning Lillian Gish and having sex with her
getting heatstroke practically every time the sun comes out shooting Jackson in the Hole from the hip when you were in French Montana
getting heatstroke practically every time the sun comes out
shooting Jackson in the Hole from the hip when you were in French Montana
there's very little meat in these gym mats
remember ALF, he's back, in porn form
alfporn dot tumblr dot com
having sex with Lillian Gish
Jackson Hole
playing acid rock on a stolen guitar
French Montana
shooting from the hip
Vanilli, Milli Vanilli for sale
AN OMNIBUS OF COWBOY'S HOLLER HOS AND CONCUSSION HUMOUR
to fan a hidden fire that can never burn true
rocking me all the time to the top
Dr Seuss, Dr Seuss, Dr Seuss, Dr Seuss, Dr Seuss, Dr Seuss, Dr Seuss, Dr Seuss, oh, oh, oh Dr Seuss, come and rock me Dr Seuss
Korean Airlines Flight Zero Zero Seven
AN OMNIBUS OF SCHOOL BOY HOWLERS AND UNCONSCIOUS HUMOR
well fuck you then
I wish I cared about the things you care about, but I don't
slipping from the net, trying to forget
they don't know the meaning of hurt
a California Cheeseburger
getting adopted by a neurotic robot
good electroplating material
Misty's special lure
Brock
Misty
Professor Oak
Ash
Gary
good moist labia manure tart
good masturbation material
the death of Captain Morgan
I have no objection to man walking on the moon
the death of Tracy Morgan
eating more lead than a pencil sharpener
Hillary Clinton Colon 'No Lingering Effects' From 'Serious' Concussion
drawing a picture of Dan Aykroyd lubing up Michael Jackson's penis with butter while Bob Geldof watches from afar and masturbates
This Bride Tied Her Newborn Baby to Her Wedding Dress and Dragged Her Down the Aisle
getting a hand job from a neurotic robot in the dumpster behind Tosche Station
getting a hand job from a neurotic robot
Neurotic Robots Act More Human
mentally adding "sexual battery" between every instance of "smooth" and "criminal" in the song "smooth criminal"
we are the world, grease up the children
Michael Butterson changes lyrics of Michael Jackson songs to celebrate butter
never listening when pastry speaks
mentally adding "buttery" between every instance of "smooth" and "criminal" in the song "smooth criminal"
the world's first clear look at Amazon's smartphone, turns out it looks like all the other smartphones, how about that
imagining what Geordi La Forge's LiveJournal is like
never getting laid again, except with computer simulations of actual people
never learning to speak Cruller
Danish is easy, you just talk like Geordie, reverse the polarity of the quantum phase tachyon pulse
the implications of public sector debt being controlled by investors miles away from the underlying assets
Danish is easy, you just talk like a Geordie, howay man
Vodafone's Deadman said such a system would be illegal because Britain did not permit agencies to obtain information without a warrant
never learning to speak Danish
filthy foreign planets, coming over here, taking our mass
drawing a picture of the Earth being EIFFEL TOWERED by 'Theia' and THE MOON
drawing a picture of the Earth being Eiffel Towered by Theia and the moon
Evidence of ancient WORLD SMASHER planet 'Theia' FOUND ON MOON
carpe epilepsiam
child molestation, pedophilia, hitchhiking, kidnapping, epileptic seizure, bullies, racism, bulimia, drunk driving and drug abuse
being a meddlesome gab rat
being a meddlesome bra tag
being a meddlesome ratbag
being a chip butty
eating a buttinsky
being a buttinsky
Kevin James being set upon by a pack of velociraptors, their sharp foot claws slashing at his ample belly until his entrails spill out in a grisly waterfall
drawing a picture of Kevin James being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by the vengeful revenant of Geoffrey the giraffe
starting up all the garbage mashers on the Kevin James level
slowing pushing Kevin James into a hedge
shoving Kevin James out of a moving vehicle at slow speed, so that he can really understand how deliberate it is
shoving Kevin James into a pit filled with feces covered punji sticks
Kevin James' inherent heritability
shoving Kevin James out of a moving vehicle at normal speed, but when the vehicle is going very fast
shoving Kevin James out of a moving vehicle at high speed
garrotting Kevin James
that both "the American Dream" and "living the dream" have already been added, but you see where I was going with that smothering Kevin James
that both "the American Dream" and "living the dream" have already been added, but you see where I was going with that
smothering Kevin James
Zookeeper smothers Kevin James' inherent likability with its sodden script and a surfeit of jokes that might be inappropriate for the young viewers intrigued by its juvenile storyline
Geoffrey, the giraffe who rose to fame as a star in the classic Toys "R" Us commercials and who appeared alongside Jim Carrey in the film Ace Ventura Colon Pet Detective, died after filming Zookeeper at the San Diego Zoo
Crystal the Monkey as Donald the Capuchin Monkey
that Zookeeper is actually set in the Boston zoo, holy shit
legal horsy, and a wonk in a young girl's eye
glory holes, and a wank in a young girl's eye
glory days, and a wank in a young girl's eye
funt
fucker
fierfek
Kento wah ning chee echuta murishani tytung ye wanya yoskah
Kento wah ning chee kosthpa murishani tytung ye wanya yoskah
Finitez cetez detox
Ogama ho ikeda kento
Ogama ho miketa keezo
Utto nye usabia atoonyoba
Eee ja maa'na hoo'va, baa'li jen'ku'rada sen'to
Orcho lok resnik Starfleet
like all Starfleet you talk and you talk, but you have no guramba
Romanipolanski
Guramba
Romanipen
the "Big Swan" system in Papua New Guineafowl
His position is not inherently heritable
the "Big Man" system in Papua New Guinea
Benny Lava
ne nravitsya pesok
draconian marshmallow poink
Chris Lydon striking you as the kind of guy who always demands anal from women, men, various zoo animals, and the occasional drainpipe
wanting to make Vladimir Putin an anal sand witch for his birthday
Vladimir Putin striking you
Vladimir Putin striking you as the kind of guy who says vaginas are icky
Vladimir Putin striking you as the kind of guy who always demands anal from women, but then pretends he never mentioned it and isn't interested even though it's painfully obvious he's waiting for them to offer anal
having sweaty elbows
Vladimir Putin striking you as the kind of doll who always demands anal from men
Vladimir Putin striking you as the kind of guy who always demands anal from women
Putin on Clinton Colon VII
"Long" Cat Isn't Actually Long
"Extinct" Bat Isn't Actually Extinct
Putin on Clinton Colon 'It's Better Not to Argue With Women'
ticking a box claiming that South Africa is a predominantly English speaking country, chommie
ticking a box claiming that South Africa is a predominantly English speaking western
wondering how metal an uncomfortable bikini actually is
ticking a box claiming that South Africa is a predominantly English speaking country
that people voted Ukip in Scotland because English TV was being beamed into Scotland
it's the only thing that there's just too little of
it's stomach o'clock
dropping to the floor moments after Queen announced that the government would work towards "FLASH! A ah! Savior of the Universe!"
dropping to the floor moments after the Queen announced that the government would work towards a "comprehensive nuclear agreement with Iran"
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in The Slender Man Colon VII
your fingers are too large to fit into the slot
The Slender Man Colon What you need to know
sand witches
suspecting that a metal bikini is both innately uncomfortable and even more uncomfortable in hot sun
VII is our rut
we just kind of settled on VII
VII
wondering why all of the imaginary gay porn titles we make up have VII on the end
simultaneously bottoming for and topping for Andrew Zimmern in Delicious Anal Sandwitches VII
wondering how uncomfortable a metal bikini actually is
Bryan Singer applies for job as gym teacher in Queens
the Swan Secours swans in Swan
Queens gym teacher raped sixteen year old wrestler in school, and bedded second student colon sources
Koalas hug trees to remain cool, says study
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a hot tub time machine
Abnormal behavior of birds in captivity, cheerio
Abnormal behaviour of birds in captivity
the Bon Secours nuns in Tuam
Hot Tub Tim Duncan
Hot Tub Time Machine
fucking the 'x men' director
fucking the 'x' factor
locking the 'x' factor
licking the 'x' factor
lacking the 'x' factor
considering doing some eercise
as if there were any other kind
insidious charlatanical Swedes
delicious anal sandwiches
delicious artisanal sandwiches
say what you want about neo fascists, but they do make delicious artisanal sandwiches
Church of England bans clergy from joining BNP or National Front tarragon chicken with sprouts and dijon mustard on focaccia looking up "Grand Canyon" and "FslashA Eighteen Hornet" on urbandictionary
Church of England bans clergy from joining BNP or National Front tarragon chicken with sprouts and dijon mustard on focaccia
looking up "Grand Canyon" and "FslashA Eighteen Hornet" on urbandictionary
a device for evaluating anorectal function
a codpiece the size and shape of an official NFL football
a former Hollywood "It girl" who once modeled nude for Helmut Newton and put up a show in a gallery in LA consisting of giant photographs of her pierced vagina
claiming that numerous actors have died under mysterious circumstances committed by the "Hollywood star whackers"
looking up "Grand Canyon" and "FslashA Eighteen Hornet" on the Independence Day wiki
messages at the speed of light
specifically to sexually degrade Kento
Chris Lydon's proposed Fat Gay Asians VII sequel, in which an ageing human blowhard podcaster demonstrates that his ability to sexually degrade Kento is superior to that of a walrus trained specifically to sexually degrade Kento
Kevin Costner's proposed The Postman sequel, in which an ageing human postman demonstrates that his ability to deliver messages is superior to that of a computer network designed to deliver messages at the speed of light
an ageing human pilot already past the point at which most combat pilots have retired demonstrates that his eyesight, attention to detail, combat effectiveness and ability to dogfight is superior to that of tireless robots designed to be superior to him
Cruise is going to show them that they're not obsolete
The concept is, basically colon are the pilots obsolete because of drones
Jerry Bruckheimer's proposed Top Gun sequel, in which Tom Cruise is expected to return as fighter pilot Pete "Maverick" Mitchell
Church of England bans clergy from joining BNP or National Front
tarragon chicken with sprouts and dijon mustard on focaccia
using the waffle "wordtastic"
Mesh implants victims give 'heartbreaking' evidence to MSPs
drawing a picture of Ant and Dec stapling their anuses together
drawing a picture of Ant and Dec braiding their anuses together grinding Kento for STDs
drawing a picture of Ant and Dec braiding their anuses together for XP
anally matching ant contraceptive
Tjardus Braidanus
drawing a picture of Ant and Dec braiding their anuses together
grinding Kento for STDs
liking your Kento like you like your coffee, ground for XP
anally matching ant
Native Americans also used juniper berries as a female contraceptive
Grannie Pegs Sumo was actually the official title of the Margaret
Thatcher Kento Sex Tape Geldof
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable OBVIATIVE
smelling a fat gay Asian man, fee fi fo fum
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable FOURTH person
grinding Kento for blade furor
Can Dec anally match Ant
grinding Kento for breadflour
grinding Kento for xp
blood candy
that's jusr bizarre
The Gossamer Penguin Show
The Perineum Ass Gong Show
Grannie Pegs Sumo was actually the official title of the Margaret Thatcher Kento Ikeda sex tape
let's call it a draw
I don't know, Perineum Ass Gong was nice
you are the winner
okay, I'm done, I hereby submit "Grannie Pegs Sumo" as my Official Entry
Miss Gnu Groan Pee
Neon Grape Gum, Sis
Guano Gin Empress
Urging Mason Pees
Reggae Possum Inn
A Grunion Peg Mess
Urine Sponge Gams
Morgue Penis Sang
A Ens Re Pig Go Ms Nu
Ursine Gang Mopes
Gnome Spies A Rung
Mango Puree Sings
Mega Nips Surgeon
Orange Gem in Puss
Gingersnap Mouse
A Nigger's Spumone
Measuring No Pegs
Smearing One's Pug
Miss Mop Gangrene
Mangier Spun Egos
Grannie Pegs Sumo
Snug Reaming Pose
Gum Earning Pesos
Nuns Grope Images
Pus Groin Menages
A Mugger's Pension
Greasing Spumone
Imp Engorges Anus
A Sperm Egg Unison
Sperm Gage Unions
Go Snaps Meringue
Monseigneur Gasp
Superman Nose Gig
Porn Muse Signage
Puma Sensing Ogre
Emus Rape Noggins
Sumo Ginseng Rape
Eager Son's 'Umping
Some Sage Pruning
Ageing Sun Mopers
Seagoing Sun Perm
Magpie Rune Songs
Man Piss Urge Gone
Perineum Ass Gong
Emu ENRAGING Sops
Emu Angering Sops
Genie's Orgasm Pun
Genius Porn Games
Amusing Senor Peg
Personage Musing
Gnomes Using Rape
Pig Grease Nuns, Om
Gunmen Spa Orgies
Mega Penis or Guns
Man Penis Gougers
Guano Penis Germs
Penis Sugar Gnome
Gossamer Penguin
Nobody wants to sit in a theater full of vapid teenagers, it is much better to surround yourself with obese, unwashed manchildren
Even though you may not make a man love you, you can stop a man from lynching you
putting in far too much effort to come up with an Eiffel Towering themed World of Warcraft expansion
putting in far too much effort to come up with a World of Warcraft themed Eiffel Towering regret
The term "Tuskarr" could possibly come from the word Tuskar which means "Giant Rocks" in the Old Norse language, or much more likely, it's just because walruses have fucking tusks
reading all of the elaborate possible literary "inspirations" for the Tuskarr race on the WoW wiki and being tempted to add "they took a human body and stuck a fucking animal head on it, you dumbasses, it doesn't take a fucking genius to do that"
that in the ten years it has been going, it is conceivable that a significant proportion of people have gained the majority of their late adolescent and adult social experience within World of Warcraft
WoWers are the dumbest fucking people on the internet, dear god
wondering if the Tetris and World of Warcraft movies could be combined somehow
bikini armor
they gonna cast unknown actors and no already stars
everyone knows that black people are incapable of voicing CGI dragons
Is African American, being black, so that could be a problem
wondering if Arthas hates sand too
Patrick could use a wig
Nobody wants to sit in a theater full of vapid teenagers
not being able to decide if the WoWwiki page of suggested Warcraft movie actors ideas was tongue in cheek or in any way self aware until reading the line "Would be hard not to laugh at how bad his acting style fits into a serious drama"
Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars movie series, whose story is very similar to Arthas's
a stong, respected voice
Beyonce has beauty, like Alextrasza's humanoid model
completing a quest of Kento being Mount Hyjaled by Karsius the Ancient Watcher and Tusklord Hrak'kar
Give us your fucking kroner!
"Walrus run" was a British slang term for streets "where groups of young people paraded up and down, usually at weekends, in the hope of 'Eiffel Towering' with somebody"
The point of a Monkey run is to get as much experience as possible by killing a lot of monkeys
thoughts, mental images, and dreams
the Tit Feces Fret
holding you loser
Variations include Gropecunte, Gropecountelane, Gropecontelane, Groppecountelane, Gropekuntelane and Gropekentoeifflane
"Monkey run" was a British slang term for streets "where groups of young people paraded up and down, usually at weekends, in the hope of 'clicking' with somebody"
drawing so many pictures of Kento being Eiffel Towered by various celebrities and animals that it begins to pattern your thoughts, mental images, and dreams
don't snap my undies
what I'd like, is I'd like to hug and kiss ya
a waffle iron with a phone attached
slamming your waffles in Jewel's waffle iron
it's time that I told you
holding you closer
the Tetris Effect
now you are Ryan North
Reading all the Dinosaur Comics
here comes the aeroplane
Terror Toddlers
playing a major part in a three year old uprising against Syrian President Bashar al Assad
A Convention to propose amendments to the United States Constitution
France arrests suspect in Brussels Jewish museum shooting, mon dieu, oy vey, waffletastic
George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Henry Rollins
listening to all of "Simon Le Bon's false note at Live Aid" and thinking "which bum note" but then hearing it, right at the end, when the kids must have started howling on SEVEN continents
listening to all of "Simon Le Bon's false note at Live Aid" and thinking "which bum note" but then hearing it, right at the end, when the dogs must have started howling on six continents
an incredibly weak, off key falsetto note hit by frontman Simon Le Bon during "A View to a Kill"
The Kinks offered to play, but the organizers refused because they didn't think they were famous enough
the hatred that exists for the Wii U
Those stars should have shut up and just given over their money if they were genuine
the biggest cocaine money laundering scheme of all time
I am not going to be the token black on the show
He displayed a complete lack of understanding of the issues raised by Live Aid, Live Aid was about people losing their lives, There is a radical difference between losing your livelihood and losing your life
the attitude of Geldof and his showbusiness associates
Harry "The Horse" Mattos
Adam was over the hill so I let him have one number
drawing a picture of Sting and ALF tantrically braiding their penises together
ALF steaks
Pile of Fuckin' Money Geldof
Gordon Sumner
Gordon Shumway
saying "I don't like Mondays" to your pile of fuckin' money, Garfield
The Pizza Underwear changes lyrics of Velvet Underground songs to celebrate pizzas and underwear
The Pizza Underground changes lyrics of Velvet Underground songs to celebrate pizzas
A man with a fetish for rolling naked in cow manure has been sentenced to five years in jail after he threatened to kill a family when they tried to stop him from targeting their farm
he may be Gary Shakespeare
wondering if you're misjudging Gary for his inability to spell his own name the same way twice
that Gary is texting again, only now he's called Garey and he thinks you're called Sarah, which is pretty far from the truth quite frankly
Operation Colon Aliens
all your food after you eat it
all your food before you eat it
being an entirely agreeable third person
saying "I don't like Mondays" to your pile of fuckin' money, Bob Geldof
getting the automated message "please choose your payment type to receive your happy ending, you have ten seconds to comply"
combining automated checkouts with hand job robots to encourage customer loyalty
getting the automated message "please remove the unexpected item in yo wide anus, you have ten seconds to comply"
getting the automated message "unexpected item in yo wide anus"
combining automated checkouts with airport body scannersto prevent shoplifting
saying "oh god it burns, it hurts so much" to a cup of coffee
hissing at a plate of swan goujons
saying "I don't like sandwiches" to your plate of poutine, eh
saying "come to bed and do me until I puke" to that whole thing of kimchee
saying "I want your hot sauce pouring down my throat" to a microwave burrito
saying "I shouldn't mind tasting your custard, old boy, if you don't mind" to a spotted dick, cheerio
Chris Lydon's wilful misinterpretation of the phrase "sweaty ennui idiom"
Chris Lydon's wilful misinterpretation of the phrase "item in yo wide anus"
saying "I want your balls in my mouth" to a plate of meatballs
Les Croute Farcie Miserables
that from now on you're going to say "I want you inside me" to all your food before you eat it
having no odea what you're saying
having no odea
having no odea of how to say stuffed en francais, let alone stuffed crust
walking by a Pizza Hut thinking "I want you inside me" and looking at all the miserable fools inside
Les Croute Stouffe Miserables
walking by a Pizza Hut thinking "wow what a great smell" and looking at all the miserable fools inside
Chris Lydon's wilful misinterpretation of the phrase "I want you inside me"
wanting sly chin rod in your penis
wanting Chris Lydon in your penis
wanting a hot old blah legend in your penis
wanting to hold a blah legend in your penis
wanting to hold a spelling bee in your hand
Charlbees Theron Colon Paparazzi intrusion is 'like apiary'
wanting to hold a spelling bee using only words from urban dictionary
Charlbees Theron
bottoming for Charlize Theron in Colon Intrusion VII
Charlize Theron Colon Paparazzi intrusion is 'I reek, pal'
lending your spelling bees to a dishonest spelling beekeeper
the very idea of a spelling bee
A Spelling Bee judge quoted Kelis' 'Milkshake' to use a word in a sentence
having gels and knowing how to sue them
knowing how to use them
having legs
Chogukhaebangui nal
Captain Novolin
Charlize Theron Colon Paparazzi intrusion is 'like rape'
Man charged with stealing more than $three hundred and fifty thousand worth of human skin from Philadelphia hospital
drawing a picture of Han shooting first at Ricky Martin
Ricky Martin joins Greedo as bounty hunter
Dick King Greedo
getting the regret "Dick King Geldof" and thinking it said "Dick King Greedo"
being refused entry to a secretive and sinister gathering of the world's most powerful figures from the worlds of politics and high finance
BBC receives almost twelve hundred complaints over Ukip election coverage
Ricky Martin joins Google as product engineer
Google Workforce Only Three% Latino And Overwhelmingly White, Study Finds
Clapham and Dwyer
Piers Morgan masturbating furiously while he thinks he is alone and unobserved watching Academy Award nominated masterpiece, "The Truman Show"
Piers Morgan always masturbates from afar while he watches anything
Piers Morgan always masturbates from afar while he watches you draw picture, it's really creepy
drawing a picture of the best of four really ugly girls being Eiffel Towered by a professional footballer and another professional footballer while Piers Morgan watches from afar and masturbates
drawing a picture of the best of four really ugly girls being Eiffel Towered by a professional footballer and another professional footballer
WolframAlpaca
the best of "four really ugly girls"
WolframAlpa DoubleD Cup National Merit Scholar Cellist
WolframAlpha ThreeD
it's an entirely different kind of flying
it's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether
no thank you, I take it black, like my men
dragging Walton and Lanier up and down the court for forty eight minutes
driving to the Richard M Nixon Freeway
cutting off your Slauson
driving to the Slauson Cutoff
exiting pursued by a bear
wondering if Piers Morgan will get a custodial sentence for the phone hacking he's basically admitted to in his autobiography
Footballer Joey Barton has apologised after describing UKIP as the best of "four really ugly girls"
Rommel, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!
Fuck! Or My Mom Will Shoot!
Fuck! Or My Mom Will Shoot
Hello, Fuck!
Fuck! Them!
Safety Fuck!
Fuck! Calcutta!
Faster, Pussycat! Fuck! Fuck!
POST Postmodern Sperm
Fucklahoma!
Postmodern Sperm
Modern Sperm
Oh stewardess! I speak jive
Listen, Betty, don't start up with your "white zone" shit again
Fuck You! Black Emperor
Fuck! Black Emperor
Below the anzu is a large net filled with the bodies of naked men
taking the newborn king to a glory hole
Fuck! The Herald Angels Sing
I would watch that
Fuck! Real Monsters
cataloging gaseous anomalies
chief ingenue flees
in huge feline feces
Feline Cheese Fungi
Geniune Fish Fleece
Genuine Fish Fleece
Eugene Schieffelin
rubbing one out in Stephen Fry's breasts as you knead them
spindling your CD on a prick finger
fingering your prick on a CD spindle
pricking your finger on a CD spindle
always hating dating sites because they seem to condense everything that is awful about so many people into a profile name and photo, which really seems unfair to those terrible idiots
Jimbomis Wales
The Grauniad's noline daring shite
Jimbo Wales 'satisfied, citation needed' with NHS and schools, says survey, bomis
Fuck! I drank the water in Mexico
Like the prick of a finger on a spindle, that's how you know Angelina Jolie is approaching
The Guardian's online dating site
I picked a hell of a day to quit sniffing glue
Oreo Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Oreos
Wales 'satisfied, isn't it' with NHS and schools, says survey, look you now
I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking
Scale Gouger in Love
Peppers Gone Wild
cataphracts getting GENITIVE over Brian Peppers
hypaspists
cataphracts
getting GENITIVE over Brian Peppers
wangteeth
George Lucas in Love
lisajakub dot net
getting possessive over Brian Peppers
Fuck! I chopped my penis and then touched my Brian Peppers!
Fuck! I chopped Brian Peppers and then touched my penis! wang
Fuck! I chopped Brian Peppers and then touched my penis!
wang
Petrel Gabriel
For first time in three yeras, US penis shrinks
Fuck! I chopped hot peppers and then touched my penis!
For first time in three yeras, US economy shrinks
being welcomed to earth, big willie style
Petr Gabriel
Jane plays with Willy, Willy is happy again
being welcomed to earth by Chris Brown
being welcomed to earth by Will Smith
WELCOME TO ERF
crunching your dump in the car door
doing crunches when you need a dump
looking at father's manacle
looking at Seth MacFarlane
wondering if there is class action lawsuit against all the stupid fucking people who make it so easy to be cynical in this world, I'm looking at you, Seth MacFarlane
cumming out of the closet
lauging at the headline "Cynicism linked to greater dementia risk, study says" then forgetting why
children under sixteen have committed more than forty thousand offences in Scotland in the past two years, I'll chin ye
Cynicism linked to greater dementia risk, study says
coming out of the closet
antarctic lemons could have saved lives on numerous exploratory expeditions
dreaming about arctic lemons, the faintly poisonous citrus fruit capable of growing in sub zero temperatures
donating blood while high could make the recipient high as well, depending on how the blood is used, how much blood is used and what the donor was high on
a female deer
a deer
Fink Rape Con
wondering if you donate blood when you're high whether it makes the recipient high as well
Frankie on PC
Jack Frags
that none of your favorite let's players have uploaded in like a week
I've been to the Boston aquarium but never again, I couldn't stomach a second visit
I've been to Spain but never again, I couldn't go there twice Chris Lydon noises
that it would kind of neat if LeVar Burton's Kickstarter eventually funded the discovery of time travel, purely to bring Reading Rainbow to children in the past, but then he got there and they were all like "How come Geordi liked holograms so much"
LeVar Burton and Reading Rainbow will launch a Kickstarter campaign, with the goal of raising funds to bring Reading Rainbow to every child, everywhere
I've been to Spain but never again, I couldn't go there twice
Chris Lydon noises
walrus noises
whale noises
swan noises
hen noises
cock noises
chicken noises
La Maja Desnuda
TWO clavdivs, ah ah ah
one clavdivs
tingly man injured in bungalow explosion
Tingley man injured in bungalow explosion
thinking you'd better knock, knock, knock on wood
your recent streak of letting your coffee go cold on the desk in front of you
PENAMBL dot org
vegan NAMBLA dot org
vegan PETA dot org
learning about the link between calling nine one one and autism at NAMBLA dot org
PETA dot org
learning about the link between dairy products and autism at PETA dot org
your butt deserving a website
palchemy
wondering if Vanilla Ice is some kind of bromunculus
dropping that zero and getting with a hero
Malaywood
Nollywood
The One Where Joey and Phoebe Buy Vash
The One Where Joey and Phoebe Buy Knives
The One Where Chandler Gets Stabbed
the place where your horses bicycle free
David Schwimmer Helps NYPD Investigate Stabbing Farce
the place where your horses run free
yes, he is handsome in an ugly sort of way
it's the most work he's had in a decade
David Schwimmer Helps NYPD Investigate Stabbing Case
Five million British children 'face life of CHUDs thanks to welfare reforms'
of course you'll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and chuds
Public sector workers' pay packets hit by payroll problem
that's when the chuds came at me
Five million British children 'face life of poverty thanks to welfare reforms'
Vorticons
holding your Boobus Tuber when you run down the stairs
King Boobus Tuber
Yorps
Gargs
things you were probably told several times but guess you never really understood
Billy Blaze becomes Commander Keen and saves Earth several times
laying down Sally, and resting you in my arms
Monette I Moo
his sister is Tom Shokin
Tom Cruise dressed as Dorothy from Wizard of Oz
his sister is homo stink
his sister is moist honk
his sister is smokin hot
places Tom Cruise likes to halve penises
places Tom Cruise likes to have penises
the interior of Tom Cruise's navel
the interior of Tom Cruise's ass
the interior of Tom Cruise's mouth
the Selfmade project
The Big Book of British Smiles
having weird, childlike teeth because of your national obsession with youthfulness
when you look at our teeth, you should always remember this phrase "market forces"
it's not our fault dentistry was privatised thirty years ago
you mean because of her teeth, right
not wanting to end up like Anita Dobson
not only keeping a diary that can, rightly or wrongly, be used against you, but keeping it online where the whole world can read it should the occasion arise
finding Monette Moio's facebook page and seeing the posts "Photoshoot tomorrow with Paige SMILEY EMOTICON" followed by "gonna get wasted with paige SMILEY EMOTICON party SMILEY EMOTICON" followed by "taking care of Paige while she's sick" over four days
Entertainer sings 'Jake the Peg' to jurors in indecent assault case
Excuse to print pictures of pretty girl is non story dredged up by mass murder
Woman blamed by Elliot Rodger for hatred of women doesn't remember him
Schoolgirl blamed by Elliot Rodger for hatred of women doesn't go to school any more
being late for work because of that jackknifed dragon in the Oregon tunnel
Jackknife Dragon
that you are from Oregon and that you always hold your breath while being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
that you are from Oregon and that you always hold your breath in tunnels
Schoolgirl blamed by Elliot Rodger for hatred of women doesn't remember him
Future Card Buddyfight
using the "pancakular"
using the word "increpeable"
Man holding breasts on Oregon staircase causes crash
Man holding breath in Oregon tunnel causes crash
MARS videos
ASMR videos
LE POPE Magazine
This Week in PEOPLE Magazine Meet Drew Barrymore's New Baby Girl The Hottest Bodies of Twenty Fourteen
having a blast in Summer Sausage VII
had me a blast
summer sausage
stinking tech out
Teutonic Knightrider
Wiry Runt Bovines
itchiest gnu knot
stout ink etching
touching kittens
Teutonic knights
Brown University
I gave Tim his first set of Wiggles DVDs
Wide Tits Gelatinous Vomit Geldof
Tim Burton is attached to direct
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to thrash Iris twixt you to find out for sure
pitching Wide Tits Gelatinous Vomit as a Johnny Depp slash Emma Watson vehicle
Oi, Wide Tits, cheerio!
yelling "Oi, Wide Tits, cheerio!" at Emma Watson to see if she is the Celebrity Regretter
writing the script "Wide Tits" as an Emma Watson vehicle
drawing a picture of Kento graduating summer cum lord from Brown University
Boxted double death man reported shooting wife
drawing a picture of Kento graduating summa cum laude from Brown University
wondering which of the main Harry Potter cast will play a role spooning Emma Watson's wide tits
wondering which of the main Harry Potter cast will play a role
spooning Emma Watson's wide tits
wondering which of the main Harry Potter cast will play a role unrelated to their previous role in the inevitable reboot
giving away widetits dot com
Emma Watson Is Now Yon Auburn Ravager From Wide Tits
that if "graduating from Brown University" isn't slang for a sex act, it needs to be
Emma Watson Is Now A Graduate From Brown University
I'm gonna turn this car around and there'll be no Canal Rape Cave for anybody
WOD FIR
I'm gonna turn this car around and there'll be no Cape Canaveral for anybody
baculums shall be free from deformation or abnormal curvature
bananas shall be free from deformation or abnormal curvature
serving food on Kento's back during sex and charging tourist a premium to eat there
Eroticism Pukes
Porkiest Miscue
Optimise Sucker
Euroskepticism
being the top of Kento's Eiffel Tower to see if Chris Lydon really died
the man is living on borrowed time
reading the top of Kento's twitter to see if Chris Lydon really died
reading the last couple of regrets and thinking that Chris Lydon died
taking an absurd joy in having caught out a journalist writing a biased piece, even though you know the response will be "nuh uh"
a conglomerate of Negroes
White House accidentally reveals identity of top CIA official in Afghanistan
bracing for the influx of almost a dozen people who will read in Chris Lydon's obituary about his final years being plagued by insinuations of bestiality and find our clubhouse
building a worst case scenario of what's going on behind the scenes of the Regret Index, in which someone really is gettin haxxed yo and the perpetrator is posting about all the orgy invites the hacked individual is getting
having questions, so many questions
monotremes
Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook
Matt "Crappy" Dick
bottoming for Josh "Crabby" Dong in FATAL Gay Asians VII
FATAL Kento cloth
using "fatal Kento cloth" as a euphemism for a hand job
being genuinely afraid of Josh "Crabby" Dong
using "talk to the Falcon" as a euphemism for a hand job
being genuinely afraid of hand jobs
being genuinely afraid of hand job cyborgs
being genuinely afraid of cyborgs
imagining five years down the line when some douchebag drives his segway to a restaurant that only serves people with google glass to bask in the glow of other smug assholes who spent too much money on worthless technologies
David Blaine looks like his voice is putting his face to sleep
Matthew mcConaughey is a dick turd
never leaving your virginity on the bus
never beating off on the bus
never getting off the bus
you'll have to put that check in my cold, dead hands!
weird habits you picked up being raised around east european emigres
that one of the reasons you never kept a diary is because you were slightly concerned that, rightly or wrongly, it would eventually be used against you
Cyborg Identity Politics Destroying YOUR Favorite Restaurant
I am destined for great things
I deserve it! I am magnificent, no matter how much the world treated me otherwise
Other men are able to have such a life ellipsis so why not me
I was desperate to have the life I know I deserve semicolon a life of being wanted by attractive girls, a life of sex and love
Unsolicited Dick Pix Geldof
Hardboiled Cockney Gumshoe Kroner Geldof
Mustard Saltine Crackers Geldof
Lilac Ape Rape Geldof
appealing coil wars
poping lilac eras, aw
roping lilac apes, aw
going on Rihanna's Labia Tour of Thailand
deciding against telling Gary "I'm naked now" in case he turns out to be fifteen and desperate to send unsolicited dick pix
labia tourism
this city desert makes you feel so cold, it's got so many people, but it's got no soul
libel tourism
Procul Harem
Full Asian men are disgustingly ugly and white girls would never go for you
PuaHate dot com
raping lilac apes, ow
raping a pillowcase
Decision to release 'pillowcase rapist' slammed by California politician, officials
Kento's Roppongi
drawing a picture of Ash texting to Gary "I'm naked now"
Obama's America
the end of the months sure does suck
that tonight your dinner consists of mustard on saltine crackers
no, you should text to Gary "I'm naked now"
so I see
I'm naked right now
Gay R
kind of thinking you might have some fun at Gary's expense
getting a series of calls from unknown numbers, followed by a text asking if you are alright, signed "Gary", but not knowing any Garys and replying "Wrong number" only to get another text saying "No"
Geisha Trolls Alien's Church
A man said to the universe "Sir I exist!" "However," replied the universe, "The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation"
Geisha Cellist Hurls Anchor
Anchor Laughs Till She Cries
Inch High, Private Eye
have a nice day, WINKY FACE
Nine Inch Weatherman
Ten Inch Male
imgur dot com slash NCchhVR
Ten Minute Mail
being chafed by chaff
finding yourself in the middle of explaining something but not having any idea when you learned the explanation
buying a waffle iron
Louis XIV Lydon Ikeda Prima Tully Armstrong Gallodier Vuitton Louis Braille Pasteur Conradt Geldof
Pokemon Gimmel Lapis Lazuli
Pokemon Alpha Sapphire
Pokemon Omega Ruby
Louis XIV
Louis Lydon
Louis Ikeda
Louis Prima
Joseon X Files
Louis Tully
Louis Armstrong
Louis Gallodier
Louis Vuitton
Louis Louis
Louis Braille
Louis Pasteur
Louis Conradt
Organ Dive It Tony Geldof
wondering if Wreck It Ralph would have been as popular had it been released under its original title, Organ Dive It Tony
deep throating waffles
being Organ Dive It Tony
saying "your chair" as though you only have one, haha, of course you own two chairs, you're not totally poor
watching a documentary about the Swinging Sixties in which old people gleefully described the combined drug and sex scenes in terms of orgies of the great and good, and coming away with the opinion that Free Love was just super chimpey
falling asleep in your chair
watching a documentary about the Swinging Sixties in which old people gleefully described the combined drug and sex scenes in terms of orgies of the great and good, and coming away with the opinion that Free Love was just super rapey
being inverted at an orgy
being invited to an orgy
gay rams
Magyars
there's nothing like a fresh abortion to win your love
Fry Browne Anus Geldof
rants, eh
Shatner
Din e Ilahi
Alan Cumming cumming
Old Man Shuckle
argumentum ad prepuce
intactivism
A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision
Intact America
NORM UK
anal cumming
if LL Cool J's gold jewelry can be overlooked, so can all of slavery
Alan cumming
there's nothing like a fresh abrasion to win your love
Alan Cumming
bottoming for Michael Assbender in ExMen Colon Days of Future Past
H & Claire
being all out of love, crikey
being all out of love
being all out of gum
not bringing a pen
coming here to chew gum and take names
hoping Chris Sievey's family made some money off Frank, anyway
being interested in the idea of 'Frank' but not wanting to see it because Michael Fassbender doesn't do the voice, the heads look too professional and you heard he takes it off at the end, which Frank would never do
Ukip blames London election performance on difficulty appealing to the 'educated and cultured'
physical Kento magazines
sprinking Kento on your waffles as you put them in a shoe
physical porno magazines eating the waffles in Mexico
Gigantic Chakras
tantric porno magazines
physical porno
physical porno magazines
eating the waffles in Mexico
the jungle VIP
Sting hit ant down
hot gin dawn stint
tits and thong win
notwithstanding
you'd think I'd be able to spell by this point
nowithstanding
nonetheless
not being particularly good at solving puzzles, but liking it nonetheless
just really liking solving puzzles
realising late last night which was actually early this morning but whatever that you probably have the Antsy Regretter's fake name Facebook page open in a tab you look at maybe once a month, after finding it years ago from something they posted here
buying physical porno magazines online
the fact that actual physical porno magazines still exist when the internet provides a virtually limitless amount of porn of any situation of which one could ever think
feeling like buying things online is an admission of defeat
this kills the crab
that, admittedly, buying waffle irons on ebay is just a hair above buying stockings at the supermarket
that you can get waffle irons on amazon for under thirty bucks and on ebay for under twenty
not even knowing where to start looking for vegan eggs and yeast
that you can't really justify this waffle obsession on dietary or wealth grounds but dammit you want some waffles and you want the ability to make them yourself
having trouble finding er jalapenos, and also err Jimmy for some reason
that's pretty much my biggest accomplishment of the last year and a half
developing a toasting technique wherein you insert two slices of bread into a single toaster slot thereby making one side of each slice nice and toasted and the other still soft
having trouble finding Pearl Jam, and also Jeremy Irons for some reason
having trouble finding pearl sugar, and also waffle irons for some reason
realising that if every episode of the Simpsons is twenty two minutes long you've probably spent at least eight and a half full days of your life watching a TV show
Kento getting fucked by a walrus instead of building a life working as a cat photographer to "make ends meet" before it became popular
Kento getting fucked by a walrus instead of building a life
working as a cat photographer to "make ends meet" before it became popular
realising that if you'd stuck out your most successful relationship to date instead of quitting when things got difficult, your oldest child could be fourteen years old already
pitying the fool who doesn't phone home
seeing one of your best friends from high school receiving tenth wedding anniversery wishes on his facebook today and wondering why the fuck you have been wasting your time writing shit about Kento getting fucked by a walrus instead of building a life
sometimes wondering what it's like to be married to the sea
sometimes wondering what it's like to be married
being first denounced, then tortured, then killed by Kim Jong un's curves
Kim Jong Kardashian
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by Kim Jong un's curves
Kim Kardashian's Tiny Black Bikini Can Barely Contain Her Thriller Curves
Kim Kardashian's Tiny Black Bikini Can Barely Contain Her Holder Curves
Kim Kardashian's Tiny Black Bikini Can Barely Contain Her Kisser Curves
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by Kim Kardashian's curves
the Moobs
Ich bin stolz auf meinen Busen
the Moops
Kim Kardashian's Tiny Black Bikini Can Barely Contain Her Killer Curves
the International House of Thirteen Indigenous Pancakes
drawing a picture of Kento getting a Boston pancake from Chris Lydon in the dumpster behind IHOP
eating caramel on a carousel
getting a waffle job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind IHOP
Tov lenin ochishchaet
a conversation in a crowded room going nowhere
a mathematician grills linen
reading Lolima in Lima
clearing lima thetans in Lima
lima thetans
wondering if "waffletastic" can refer to things other than waffles, as in "that lick job was waffletastic"
being lima eatans in Lima
eating lima beans in Lima
not being waffletastic
they feel like bacon gloves
the hissing of serpents or geese
Dwlwks
the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers of Scooby Doo
the International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers
the Celt as noble savage
strong Frenchification
Ireland, where the relationship between the archaic and the modern was antagonistic
Kentolydonwalrosseiffelturm
This poor meagre sordid language resembles nothing so much as the hissing of serpents or geese
Kentaurzitzenraetsel
Star Wars Colon Ewoks
Hauspferdfahrradfahren
How the Dulok Stole Life Day
Hweolrinnung
Fahrradfahren
Daleks
it's all just limbless red tits rape
harnessing the ancient power of slavery to run the school bus of tomorrow
Duloks
it's all just blistered slipstream
that the only thing "in the eighties" about China Anne McClain is that a certain Polish French director in his eighties wants to fuck her
being just super old now, I guess
for some reason imagining China Anne McClain was a singer of power ballads in the eighties, rather than an autotuned modern teen singing outrageously catchy pop songs
BUM BUM DIDI DIDI PUM PUM
Nippers Stingsteen Geldof
tantric fisting
BBC is demolarised
THAT YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT "STING" JUST KIND OF MEANT THAT YOU STUCK FINGERS IN THERE BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO PUT THE WHOLE FIST UP THEIR ASS HOLY SHIT HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE
Chinese jazz dubsteb
Chinese folk metal
that you can't spell fisting without Sting
the bitterly ironic music of Bruce Springsteen, one of the most depressing songwriters ever to have lived
BBC is demoralised
Nigeria violence Colon Army tells BBC it is 'demoralised'
finding a clip of Ash saying "number one's not coming out" and being inspired to piece together a string of out of context Pokemon quotes into something dirty
d d d d d dancing with myself
Tigtone
Happy Harry's High Club
t t t t t talking to myself
being so tired you glanced at the 'dex and thought 'recent regrets' had become a scrolling marquee
chanting "Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind! Higher wages!"
chanting "Hey Steak n Shake You Can't Hide, We Can See Your Greedy Side"
drawing a picture of McDonald's employees being hamburgled by clowns and clowning aficionados
spending far too long trying to decipher Spambot's gibberish
chanting "No Big Macs, No Fries, Make our Wage Supersize"
chanting "Hey McDonald's You Can't Hide, We Can See Your Greedy Side"
crowfunding
the Crimean Khanate
crowdfunding
playing Men of War Colon Assault Squad
having sex with a walrus
havini mnn kith a wcfakg
this is a design feature
the rocket has no radio
rubbing one out in the bathroom at In N Out, Robin
Toy Mork
not devoting your life to building a rocket specifically to transport Thom Yorke against his will into the fiery sun
The city of Nome claims to be home to the world's largest gold pan, although this claim has been disputed by the Canadian city of Quesnel, British Columbia
not garroting Thom Yorke with piano wire when you had the chance
not hitting Thom Yorke in the genitals with a splitting maul when you had the chance
Oliver Polanski
reibbq wrq ksxu t kkpeng
Goodluck Jonathan
coming home after a long day of work to find that you failed to flush your morning shit for some reason
To Mork
Tom Ork
Bela Bond
weatherfrom dot com
killing Thom Yorke with a tomahawk
The Tom York Morning Show
the server failed to communicate
drawing a picture of Thom Yorke and Myke Hawke braiding their extraneous e's together
Tom York
Super Mapcase Bros
Thom Yorke singing in a pitch you can mostly hear
having seen water, it's water, that's all
Category Colon People who are at Niagara Falls right this minute straddling the international border between Canada, eh, and the United States, I'm walkin' here
Category Colon People who are at Niagara Falls right this minute
straddling the international border between Canada, eh, and the United States, I'm walkin' here
clones and cloning aficionados
clowns and clowning aficionados
Slowly I Turned
Paul McCartney cancels Japan tour due to virus desu ne let it be Niagara Falls
Paul McCartney cancels Japan tour due to virus desu ne let it be
Niagara Falls
Paul McCartney cancels Japan tour due to virus desu ne
Paul McCartney cancels Japan tour due to virus
reading a braille bible with Christian Bale isn't it
reading a braille bible with Christian Bale
you'd never know how I tremble
for a second we can fool them all
she knows he knows she knows he knows
I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time
settin' me up just to knock a knock a knock a me down
waking up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of your head
my sweet lord
that phase you went through where you liked Yanni
the moment I wake up
the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids
a crassly nosy nihilism
going home and worshipping the moon
buying multiple copies of the book "Yanni in Words" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Yiannis Chryssomallis
learning to stop bombing and love the worry
The wise leadership of Marshal Kim Jong Un is what keeps the Juche oriented literature and art alive and the Songun revolutionary exploits of the Workers' Party of Korea are the eternal theme and seed in the creation of masterpieces
A senior Ukip MEP candidate who last week called for abusive protesters to be arrested by police has been caught on camera swearing at a group of local activists
learning to stop worrying and love the bomb
getting to da bears
getting to da BMX
getting to da chopper
Yiannis Chryssomallis
drwwwng a picture of Kwntw being Arfon Masted by Chrws Lwdwn and a wwlrws
a gargantuan and stark naked Gerard Depardieu
the glory of being a clown
hwvwng swx wwth w gwrl whw lwwkwd w lwt lwkw Catherine Zeta Jones
drwnkwng the wwtwr in Wales
sprwnkwng lwwks wn ywwr bwlwvwd's brwwsts ws yww knwwd thwm
hwrdbwwlwd
watching a British crime drama performed in Welsh but set in Scwndwnwvww in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled Swansean gwmshww is paid in kroner
buying multiple copies of the book "Tw Bw wr Nwt tw Bw" by the incredibly handsome Swansea Times bestselling author Rywn Nwrth
the death of Swlvww Brwwnw
using the word "wwfflwtwstwc"
Jwwwl
Dwnkwy Kwng isn't it
Dwnkwy Kwng
skinning an erection in concealed jeans
wondering if Two Thousand and One Colon A Space Odyssey correctly predicted the phenomenon of people watching their tablets while eating instead of attempting to communicate, or whether it simply informed that behavior
displaying an erection in skinny jeans
concealing an erection in skinny jeans
donating E
eating Don
Caulking with Dinosaurs
caulking with poo
triboluminescent foods
paan
the cool and fresh feeling one gets from caulking, oops
the cool and fresh feeling one gets from poking a locus
the cool and fresh feeling one gets from sucking a penis
the cool and fresh feeling one gets from sucking a Polo
there is no spoon
giving Jewel her birthday present four days early
Jewel's birthday is this Friday
POO CRIMPIN BY MIGHTY HUGE DUMPaZ
TRU PIMPIN BY ICY HOT STUNTaZ
hurling
rollerblading
Kentapno Mapkeda
Exapno Mapcase
being Don
the equator has exactly twelve hours of daylight and twelve hours of darkness every day of the year, so you don't know how that would mess up your sleep schedule
damn it
the equator has exactly twelve hours of daylight and twelve hours of darkness every day of the year, so you don
wondering what would happen if you live on the equator or moved between the poles every six months, like would your brain just never switch off again and what that would be like
that apparently in summer time you only sleep about three hours in every twenty four
going on that cycling tour of flood defences in the Netherlands
the dikes of Holland
wondering if Stouffer's came up with Maxaroni immediately after watching the Poochie episode of the Simpsons
receiving Stouffer's Maxaroni
standing while delivering Stouffer's Maxaroni
Firefox traumas, son
watching the Stouffer's Maxaroni advert on YouTube and instantly worrying about all those child actors
standing while delivering
Stouffer's Maxaroni
standing or delivering
Pleasured Tortured Killed Geldof
wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine on a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on a waffletastic throne of blood
wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine on a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on a throne of blood
un bonjour de Marwan
elle a un polichinelle dans le tiroir
menage a tour Eiffel
les Anglais ont debarque
emmener Popaul au cirque
BCBG
enleve ta croute que je swingue dans l'pus
descendre a la cave
finding it interesting that the French euphemism "Chinese polish" refers to masturbation, given that the Chinese euphemism "French style" refers to male on female anal sex
se faire pleurer le petit cygne
se faire pleurer le petit morse
se faire pleurer le petit singe
broute minou
le coup de tromblon
tarte au poil
gaufre le cresson
se polir le Chinois
waffelatio
assuming that the Belgian guy reminiscence is because his genitalia was an oblong grid coated in caramelized nib sugar
all this waffle talk reminding you of the time you went down on that Belgian waffle
digital piracy of other birds
that Belgian guy
anal piracy of other birds
all this waffle talk reminding you of the time you went down on that Belgian guy
naval piracy of other birds
aerial piracy of other birds
figures attaque
Fregata magnificens
gaufretastique
je veux seulement gaufres
moule a oublies
Darth Wafflerageous
wafflerageous
waffletacular
that is literally the plan
just make sure you sprink some chocolate chips on them
that would be waffletastic
seriously considering buying a waffle iron today
at least they're shaved
going to bed early in an attempt to spend an almost normal Saturday doing whatever, but waking up after three hours with balls of straight men in your mouth
going to bed early in an attempt to spend an almost normal Saturday doing whatever, but waking up after three hours with no idea as to why
Kento is a straight baller, in the sense that he likes having the balls of straight men in his mouth
Kento is a fat gay Asian baller
Kento is a straight baller
Vanilla Rice
Schroedinger's bedtime
Schroedinger's nutter
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a hardboiled but cockney gumshoe, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
noticing the new top regret yesterday but not writing any parrots of it yet
just wanking on the railroad all the live long day
just working on the railroad all the live long day
just working on the internet for a few hours
Operation Armenian Sprinking
Operation American Sprinking
Odobenus stercoreus
Old Wafflebreaker
Cyathus stercoreus
Operation American Spring
Old Wristbreaker
Abe Lincoln's father's boss makes $lOO dollars per hr on the internet, he has been dead over one hundred sixty years but last month his pay check was $three trillion million thousand and two just working on the internet for a few hours
montante
bastard swords
Electric Penis Enlargement Pills Geldof
wondering if spambots dream of electric penis enlargement pills
scam bots
watching two spam bots compete to see who can dream up the bigger scam comments
my neighbor's step sister makes $eight five dollars per hr on the internet, she has been fired from work for nine months but last month her pay check was $fifteen thousand one hundred and twenty five just working on the internet for a few hours
my coworker's mother makes $sixty nine hourly on the internet, she has been fired for ten months but last month her income was $thirteen thousand three hundred and one just working on the internet for a few hours
buying that loom penthou$e
buying that loom penthouse
shaving your kiddie
Face Stuffers
The Spaghetti Laboratory
Professor V J Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery
American billionaire Steve Cohen 'furious' over 'life not being fair'
very rich, slightly stupid man 'furious' over 'investment bubble reaching limits'
American billionaire Steve Cohen 'furious' over $lOOm penthouse 'no one wants'
shaving your balls
awful, awful people
suggesting that "poofters" might reconsider their sexual orientation if one was made an example of and shot
shaving your doggy
attempting to pay a hardboiled cockney gumshoe in bitcoin
attempting to pay a prostitute in bitcoin
America's Next Bottom Pedo
shaving your pussy
aw
well, yeah
briefly picturing yourself growing older, leaner, calm if not content, living a largely pointless life alone with the knowledge that you literally could not afford to raise canines
not pursuing relationships or even casual encounters because of poverty
that you literally could not afford to raise children
briefly picturing yourself growing older, leaner, calm if not content, living a largely pointless life alone with the knowledge that you literally could not afford to raise children
cassowary inflation
pessary inflation
pesky inflation
spending an evening figuring out that with those elusive full time minimum wage hours, and benefits, and an 'ideal' apartment you could just about afford to move out again, though you'd probably have to stop eating, especially if inflation still happens
Hebridean redshanks
there is no such thing as a soul, it's just something parents made up to scare children, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson
John Jay Smith
Leon Kompowsky
assmeblers of the world uniting, having nothing to lose but their chinas
Assmeblers Take to Streets to Calm Tense Ukrainian City becoming ASSMEBLERS QUIET UNREST IN CITIES IN EAST UKRAINE after an article revision
America's Next Top Pedo
this fantastically boring crisis
a stately and swooning homage to Princess Grace, formerly Grace Kelly, focusing on her alleged courage in keeping plucky little Monaco safe for tax avoiding billionaires
Workers Take to Streets to Calm Tense Ukrainian City becoming WORKERS QUIET UNREST IN CITIES IN EAST UKRAINE after an article revision
Charity Johnson
nothing more than big labour's attempt to push their own agenda
William Vahey
California wildfire 'flare up' forces new evacuations
Tiara Suet Chick Helped FBI Nail Nosy Anus Bosom
Autistic Hacker Helped FBI Nail Anonymous Boss
wanting to hear a whiny Bruce Springsteen quasiballad about how he lost his job as an assmebler
that if they're only getting minimum wage, the Assmeblers' Union just ain't getting it done for them
seeing a promising night porter job but being put off by the idea of working in a boutique hotel
that all you really want is a nightwatch job where you can read a bit, and maybe post regrets between glancing at monitors or walking around to make sure nothing is actually on fire or being stolen
using multiple job search websites that list more or less the same jobs, each of which lists the jobs multiple times because they've been added by various recruitment agencies
hearing meble, meble, meble noises in the showers at Penn State
that there is a surprisingly large number of assmebler positions out there, including one near Sandusky, Ohio
mebling face
mebling ass
seeing a job advertisement labelled "Assmeblers" with a minimum wage rate and no hours specified and wondering if this is the start of your beautiful new life
Derailed Ova Geldof
Asians being derailed ova
fat gays
Asians
being derailed ova
being alive or dead
Nabooian pyramids
Nubian pramids
puny barmaid sin, even
pun barmaid sin
Mike Hoare
Danish soldiers cycling to the front to fight the Germans during the German invasion of Denmark
Nubian pyramids
Sprinking Peppers Kroner Geldof
Abe Lincoln's Father's Boss Geldof
in the Age of Chaos, two factions battled for dominance
theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr Christian Slater stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and had sex with Abe Lincoln's father's boss
Abe Lincoln's father's boss having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christian Slater
trying to use ebay to gague how much a waffle iron is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty kroner
Abe Lincoln's father's boss
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christian Slater
Hootie and the McBoobfish
Hootie McBoob
Busty St Claire
Chesty La Rue
capital knockers
trying to use ebay to gague how much a waffle iron is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars
An Open Letter To Shoebox's Waffle Iron
wondering if you could make waffles in a silicone ice tray, and whether you still have some of those
not possessing a waffle iron or a sufficiently lumpy pan to make waffles on
chocolate chip waffles sound really good now
believing the unimaginable amount of feces a Snorlax produces
using the word "Eiffeltastic"
drawing a picture of Snorlax being Eiffel Towered by Professor Oak and Walrein
imagining the unbelievable amount of feces a Snorlax produces
STS oneonenine
Vegan Penises At Cabal
Vegan Alien Space Bats
Vegan Operation Vegetarian
Operation Vegetarian
Alien Space Bats
War Plan Red
detaching Scotland from the United Kingdom, the creation of a United Ireland, and an autonomous status for Western England
Operation Walrus
Operation Sea Lion
a pimple on the ass of Europe
a pimple on the face of Europe
Operation Biff Tannen
that Hitler was an Ostrich
Operation Tannenbaum
that Hitler was from Australia, crikey
that Hitler was from Austria
those god damned red bastards
craven Soviets blame Horny Lilac Lint for schoolgirl nigger AIDS pin
Conservatives blame Horny Lilac Lint for Nigerian schoolgirl kidnappings
Conservatives blame Hillary Clinton for Nigerian schoolgirl kidnappings
really wanting to stay away from the windows
dreaming, for no particular reason you can place, lucidly if somewhat creatively of overlooking Conservatory Water and Fifth Avenue from a height of perhaps thirty or forty feet in what you took to be a hotel room
something something rhythmic wak wak wakking in the snow showers at Antarctica something
My Two Colons
My Two Dads Colon Gay Penguin Pair Step in to Rear Chick
getting Dan Aykroyd to play Homer in the live action Simpsons
pubescent children are taken in by a sinister dabbler in the occult who cuts their hearts from their still living bodies
thinking that with her wightlike good looks, voluminous hair, and ineffectual existence, Kate Middleton would have been a perfect M R James ghost, if only she lived in a tree full of hideous spiders she'd given birth to
Operation Middleton's Cherry Blend, the Metropolitan Police's investigation into sexual abuses by skeletons
using "Middleton's Cherry Blend" as a euphemism for the abortion Kate had to get after a little fun with the pool boy
Middleton's Cherry Blend
getting a Prince Albert in Prince Albert with Prince Albert while chewing Prince Albert
Crossroads with Jane Rossington
murdering Dan Aykroyd by mistake
Crossroads with Britney Spears
that you keep thinking Roger Ackroyd died already
cleaning bad colon mud off Miss Daisy
cleaning cum and blood off Miss Daisy
that you keep thinking Dan Aykroyd died already
each night when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the cum off the back seat, some nights, I clean off the blood, Miss Daisy
each night when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the cum off the back seat, some nights, I clean off the blood
someday a real rain will come and wash all this cum off the streets
on every street in every city, there's a nobody who dreams of being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr Kento Ikeda stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and was quickly Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Ryan H Tron
giving Kento access to a time machine, which he then used to go back and meet Ayn Rand, who simply shut the door in his face
Tafari Makonnen Woldemikael
that Ryan Thorn sounds so much more badass than Ryan North
ThornPup
PropHunt
where's Kento
wishing on those satellites
Kento dying on the way back to his home planet
we actually kind of do that
Kento needs to be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine, whenever Kento is not being posted about, all the other posters need to be asking "where's Kento"
getting biz zay, consistently and thoroughly
Guillermo del Toro refused to insert a 'Poochie' into 'Wind in the Willows'
talking about a totally outrageous paradigm
lion bisects a moron
robots in coal mines
Transformer explodes in Turkish coal mine
fisting goons
being detained by security units on suspicion of occult practices
using your spiky fist attack to defeat Mr Grim's army of Trigoons
Canada moves in to Nigeria to aid in search for kidnapped girls
making farty noises with your boobs
making farty noises with your penis
making farty noises with your butt
making farty noises with your hands
the death of H R Pufnstuf
the death of H R Giger
the feeling has gone only you and I, it means nothing to me, this means nothing to me, oh, wiener
Battle Creek is where most of your ceral, anything Kellogg or Post it comes from Battle Creek
horrific parallelisms
Myke Dyker
When one gives a blowjob while simultaneously inserting a percussion mallet into the anus
shit the beef
Wienerbrod
slamming your dick in Joe Biden's elbows
A Coltish Cockade Helm
Madolche Chickolates
grading Yardies' anuses with Tjardus Greidanus
learning that Tjardus is pronounced "Jardus" rather than "Tyardus" as you thought
Beelzebub had a devil put inside of you
bottoming for Tjardus Greidanus in Grade A Anus Beef
grading anuses in the TARDIS with Tjardus Greidanus
getting Myke Hawke to judge who the world's most boorish, boastful ex military man is
getting Myke Hawke to judge who the world's strongest man is
magnifying magnetrons with Magnus Ver Magnusson
the greatest squat he had ever seen
Magnus Ver Magnusson
le Chunnel
Le tunnel sous la Manche
je veux seulement oublier
A Mottled Duke
Slutty Boolean
slamming your dick in Joe B's elbows
Ballet Unto Soy
slamming your dick in Bob E's jowels
Botany Sellout
Tube Alloys
vaster rhino
hovertrains
drinking champagne out of a Greidanus
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want waffles, he meant it
being cold waffles out of a chimp anus
Cold Waffles Chimp Anus Geldof
wafflecold
eating cold waffles out of a chimp anus
having cold waffles with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci
paying for the cold waffles in Mexico in kroner
eating the cold waffles in Mexico
that you're suddenly very interested in the cold waffles
being given the cold waffles
that you're suddenly very interested in the cold shoulder
having waffletastic breasts
not realizing until your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship that you had wasted lots of time
a swan of my means should not remain a schoolboy
a man of my means should not rape a schoolboy
a man of my means should not remain a schoolboy
Sir Jammy Fishpaste would probably grasp the last part
imagining how stupid someone twenty years ago would think a sentence containing words like blogger, tweet, and Ukip
Sextant live at XS one
Police ask blogger to remove tweet about Ukip
it's just a day like any other day
The NSA routinely receives or intercepts routers, servers and other computer network devices being exported from the US before they are delivered to the international customers
lasers, pew pew pew pew, but then again, pew pew explosion
there is no use crying over spilt milk
Brazil Colon Police warn visitors, 'Don't scream if robbed'
Clay Aiken's Opponent in Congressional Race, Keith Crisco, Dies sleeping with Mel Gibson
Clay Aiken's Opponent in Congressional Race, Keith Crisco, Dies
sleeping with Mel Gibson
making racist remarks to encourage your companion to sleep with you
looping the bit with the drums in
being punched in the noise by an angry cetacean
regrets, you've had a few, but then again, too few to mention ya neb
regrets, you've had a few, but then again, too few to mention
ya neb
small cups
large jugs
having had too few regrets to mention yet mentioning them anyway
being punched in the noise by an angry chicken, buck buckawk
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's noise as you knead it
being punched in the noise by an angry Chicagoan, da Bears
being punched in the noise by an angry Canadian, eh
being punched in the noise by an angry Cumbrian, al punch ya in ya neb
defrayals and keenness and tossups don't count
stalkers and fans and needy spouses don't count
there's no way you could regret being loved
being loved
conneries!
futunjits laptele
being punched in the noise by an angry Cumbrian
al punch ya in ya neb
Ninnajji shaata
Allah mamhuun
Da go lapash na magare
na koliny, suka
chollooy me huey
uvas melankie Pisune
Sosi xyu pider
idy na khuj
feeling that Ukraine is just a naturally funny word, na khuj
sending Myke Hawke to the Ukrainian underground
feeling that Ukraine is just a naturally funny word, hivno
drawing a picture of Ben Affleck and Ben Asslick braiding their penises together
playing blackdick with Ben Asslick
feeling that Ukraine is just a naturally funny word
Japanese Dump Most Euro Bonds on Record Amid Ukraine Tension, Desu Ne
The Bum of All Rears would have been funnier
that, according to imdb, there is a Ben Asslick whose sole film credit is The Sum of All Rears
playing blackjack with Ben Asslick
non delicious ad baculum
non fallacious ad baculum
podcast appeal to authority
argumentum ad baculum
two and a half Kentos
Hearts and Oosiks
one and one half wandering Kentos
the Wandering Kento
wondering Kento has been busy masturbating to Chris Lydon's new NPR show
wondering Kento has been busy listening to Chris Lydon's new NPR show
she looked you over and you guess she thought you was alright
something something Conchita Wurst something dumpster behind Steak n Shake
something something Conchita Wurst something rising like a phoenix something
Conchita Wurst
Tjardus Greidanus
playing blackjack with Ben Affleck in a marching band
playing blackleck with Ben Affjack
playing blackjack with Ben Affleck
Kento really sat down and read at least the last six thousand or so regrets
r rather than clicking the refresh button like somebody who is willing to make an effort in life
dicking your dick in Dick's dick
slamming your slam in Slam's slam
swallowing your swazzle
wondering if Kento really sat down and read at least the last six thousand or so regrets, or if he just clicked show all and searched for his own name
boobing your boobs in Boob's boobs
that on Friday you forgot to wish a happy birthday to Mister Punch, cheerio
having LLAMA BOD OPS
Saving Private Hag
Fister Muck
having BLOOD PLASMA
having ass
saving hag
Mister Fuck
having PLASMA
having gas
being surprised to learn that you have used a pellet gun before being in school
being more sweme than swan
being more meme than man
that the reason is that you refresh webpages using command and r rather than clicking the refresh button like somebody who is willing to make an effort in life
refreshing pokemon fansites over and over again for any new information about the upcoming games and realizing why you're alone
being surprised to learn that you have used a pellet gun before
being in school
that not using the regret index for months has not helped advance your personal life at all
hi, Kento, what's up
being the subject of one in thirty regrets
not having checked the dex for months
Crapper's Valveless Waste Preventer
jump punching that Parisian hooker
'X Men' star Hugh Jackman has cancerous growth removed from nose
gilded lily tart hilt
a tail drilled tightly
a tidally held girl tit
a giddy little thrill
agiddy
Cheerio Eh I'm Walkin' Here Da Bears Isn't It Don'tcha Know Crikey Oi Sieg Heil Desu Ne Geldof
British English New York Times Geldof
as a Golden Globe nominee, I just think it's our duty to make the real globe a little more golden
Fat Gay Asian Geldof
repeatedly trying to write Gelfliing instead of Gelfling
repeatedly trying to write Gelfliing instead of Geldof
Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge Geldof
Hugest Walrus Rider Geldof
Kimchee Spicy Cheetos Geldof a Shakespeare for the modern age
Kimchee Spicy Cheetos Geldof
a Shakespeare for the modern age
This was the first recorded use of the term "Among the Sleep"
Among the Sleep
Bandanna In Curry Geldof
Runny Cabana Rind Geldof
Roman Jerry Bryan Geldof
way too normal
Duncan Ryan Brian Geldof
Dungeons Dragons American Idol Boobs Geldof
Hardboiled Water Turtles Geldof
drawing a picture of Frankie Muniz stroking off on Rough Sex Monday
Drone 'almost hit' American Airlines flight in Florida, officials hear
guessing that the nickname Rape Angina is probably better than the nickname Rape Vagina
that's not an anagram, I just wanted to write "Rape Angina"
receiving the nickname Rape Angina
receiving the nickname Ape Regina
Cold Boobs Trope Geldof
Champagne Cease & Desist Sprinking Geldof
'Motherfucking snakes down this Motherfucking drain' Colon Snakes capable of crushing small children invade Regent's Canal, cheerio
Don Cheadle's cockney accent
Fans immediately responded to his message on Monday, saying "feel better" and "hope ur ok"
drenched on a pool
LaMot Highnipples Krill Pruno Geldof
that Frankie Muniz keeps having strokes
Don Cheadle is Captain Planet
the passage of linear time
bottoming for Ms Top Alien in Best of Both Worlds VII
Starve the Whales
fast absorbibg omega three krill oil
building a step pyramid from Inca music CDs and sacrificing Kento on top of it
burying all those Inca flute music CDs
kancelling Kento
buying all those Inca flute music CDs
kancelling Kommunity
cancelling Community
that the live action Krusty the Klown spinoff never happened
End Colon Rape, D'Oh
Hardened Colon Op
Porno Don Cheadle
pruno
Don Cheadle
having high nipples
emailing Penis LaMot
emailing Ms Top Alien
emailing a limp stone
emailing a stolen imp
emailing a solemn pit
emailing a silent mop
emailing Tampon Isle
emailing Las Pimento
emailing malt ponies
emailing melon pitas
emailing tempo snail
emailing male piston
emailing Tom Spaniel
emailing a simpleton
sort of hoping that it is, not because you enjoy the thought of freaking someone out, but because knowing that you're merely a simpleton might set them at their ease
beinh OlO% geniune
geniunely lacking the insight
wondering, just prior to going to sleep at five am, whether looking at someone's wikipedia contribitions is freakout material
the Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated
drawing a picture of Sting getting his mash tantrically banged bottoming for Santosh Banger in Bangers & Mash VII
drawing a picture of Sting getting his mash tantrically banged
bottoming for Santosh Banger in Bangers & Mash VII
slamming your chocolate chips in Jewel's waffles
standing ramrod straight in the dock at Southwark Crown Court after a four week trial and an overnight wait for the verdict
Santosh Banger, I hardly know her!
guessing that Sting must really love money to have set so much of it free
Santosh Banger
taking your best girl out to dinner at Chuck E Cheese
Woody Allen sleeping with Mi Tit
the first step is dating mi tit
the first step is admitting it
I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls
the metric system is the tool of the devil
that the resort was to be built on some cleared rainforest
remembering reading about how Sting's former accountant had absconded with ten million pounds sterling of Sting's money sometime in the early nineties, and Sting had only found out when the accountants for a resort hotel Sting was trying to fund told him
the bitterly ironic charitable works of Sting, one of the most depressing songwriters ever to have lived
putting a band aid on a subarachnoid hematoma
putting a band aid on a puncture wound
Regime Aid
the irony that "band aid" is a used as a term for a small, perfunctory fix that does nothing to actually address the root of the problem being completely lost on Bob Geldof
dim afar
the Band Aid pun being completely lost on UK audiences, who would have called it plaster
Mad Fair
Band Aid
Farm Aid
Za milion godina
sending your love down the well
the anarchist band Chumbawamba released the album Pictures of Starving Children Sell Records, as well as an EP entitled "We Are the World", jointly recorded with US band A State of Mind, both of which were intended as anti capitalist critiques
You know, those limos out back aren't free
feeding the world, letting them know it's Christmas time
not really minding rich people or even rich people who have ideas about how the world should be and talk about them publicly, or even the charitable work that they do or which is done in their names, but thinking telethons are pretty sinister
the five people you meet in heaven who starved to death because you spent the money that could have fed them on heroin instead
eating the world, eating the children
turning stone to bread
drawing a picture of Bono and Sting tantrically jacking off over the reflections in each other's shades
wondering how many Africans the money that Peaches Geldof spent on heroin in her short twenty five years could have fed
flying your sunglasses halfway around the world first class so that you can jack off to your reflection
being the world, being the children
wearing your sunglasses at night so you can so you can jack off to the reflection in your shades
drawing a picture of Bono and Bob Geldof jacking off over the reflections in each other's shades
that's what she said
I knew that was coming
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, FRIEDPEPPERS
mmmm, fried peppers
Peppers Lolcode Fry Geldof
Achtung Waffletastic Lakers Geldof
Bono The Edge Achtung Geldof
Bonobob
drawing a picture of Bono and Bob Geldof starting to braid their penises together, then giving up after realizing they just preferred jacking off into a mirror more
going for a late run
Dick King Geldof
dicking Geldof
Chelsea Clinton Dix Geldof
Chelsea Clinton Dix
bottoming for the Green Bay Packers in Ha Ha Clinton Dix VII
Ha Ha Clinton Dix
US FDA approves 'Hand Job' robotic arm for amputees, Barack Obama bows down
US FDA approves 'Hand Job' robotic arm for amputees, George Lucas changes underwear
US FDA approves 'Star Wars' robotic arm for amputees, George Lucas changes underwear
naming your robot arm after Desmond Dekker
US FDA approves 'Star Wars' robotic arm for amputees
making swan noises
making goose noises
making chicken noises
R#A#T#S
that you used to have a slightly taller rat named Phoebe and sometimes you would put a mirror next to it and pretend it was an entirely different rat named Ursula even though the illusion wasn't very convincing
drawing a picture of fear being Eiffel Towered by Bill and Hillary
not quite believing that Joey didn't have sex with all of the other F#R#I#E#N#D#S and probably most of their friends and some of their relations
that you used to have a slightly prettier and funnier rat named Rachel
that you used to have a slightly older rat named Monica
that you used to have a rat named Chelsea
always thinking that the Clintons naming their daughter Chelsea lies somewhere between a Canadian couple naming their child York Region or naming their child Maple Leaf, eh
Bedbug Odor Flex
Bob Geldof Redux
the birth of Beacon Hill Lakers Geldof
always thinking that the Clintons naming their daughter Chelsea lies somewhere between a British couple naming their child Beacon Hill or naming their child Lakers
Bob Geldof II Colon The Secret of the Ooze
Bob Geldof Two Colon Bob Geldoffer
always hearing that line as "our old friend Bill and Hillary"
drawing a picture of fear being Eiffel Towered by you and me
our old friend fear and you and me
the jokers' cold refrain
the tide of incivility, and the tide of intolerance
Bob Geldof Conquers the Martians
Bob Geldof Does Dallas
Bob Geldof in Space
the birth of Jaylala Waffletastic Lolcode Geldof
sending Bob Geldof a care package to help him on his way to become the first Irishman to travel into space
Bob Geldof in Africa with your fuckin' money
Bob Geldof in Africa
Hadji's fecal shins
Shedinja slashfic
momma hated deer
momma always saying that stupid is as stupid does
writing a regret dumber than any of the seventy six thousand three hundred and sixty five that came before it, well done sir
the first monk to wet himself in space, Urine Gregorian
cast poos nil
Panic Stools
Catsplosion
civic sauna meta cussing
Mecca visit causing anus
Black Death skeletons give up secrets of life and death
Metropolitan Police officers start wearing body cameras, cheerio
Metropolitan Police officers start wearing body cameras
US activism causing acne
inactive ass causing cum
better
Satan causing civic emus
not even as a joke
vaccines causing autism
doing the doughiest deer
doing the dumpiest female
doing the most feminine dump
doing the hugest dump
I do a dump, a female dump
using the word "chimptastic" to describe champagne
I do a dump
buying multiple copies of the book "Waffletastic" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Christina Ricci
wondering why we "do a fart" but not "do a dump"
petty risk
giant heid
perky tits
Attack of the Lozenge Loss Menace
the very idea of a happily married mother of two teenage boys
Attack of the Selena Gomez Clones
reading the May seventh Dear Abby question about twerking
avoir du pain dans votre couronnes
having pain in your kroner
just now realizing that your overweight accountant brother is a clown of Selena Gomez, honk honk
just now realizing that your overweight accountant brother is a clone of Selena Gomez
wondering where you would fake art at
wondering where you would fake a tart
wondering where you would take a fart
Selena Gomez Clone #ThirtyThree had thyroid issues
having impure thoughts about an overweight Selena Gomez apologizing to Selena Gomez for your previous remarks, even if it is kind of true
slamming your dick in the waffle PALLADIUM
slamming your dick in the waffle COBALT
slamming your dick in the waffle iron
wondering why we "take a dump" but not "take a fart"
off Bermuda to an island resort we rented
deep throating Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
deep throating Gene "Male" Szo
deep throating Gas Lemon Zee
deep throating Go Semen Zeal
robots in this guy
watching a British crime drama performen in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taked out of the action every time the hardboilen cockney gumshoe is pain in kroner
being deep throaten by Selena Gomez
deep throating Selena Gomez
just now realizing that Stephen Fry looks like your overweight freeter brother
having sex with an overweight accountant who looks a lot like Selena Gomez
having impure thoughts about an overweight Selena Gomez
apologizing to Selena Gomez for your previous remarks, even if it is kind of true
around the face
just now realizing that Selena Gomez looks like your overweight accountant brother
the death of Christopher Malcolm
Federal prosecutors say the husband of a "Real Housewives of Atlanta" star has pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit mail, wire and bank fraud
Tvrtko I of Bosnia
that the USS Billy Dee Williams was made from recycled Billy Beer cans
using the word "fecalswatfit"
Kento's armor is Hardrock, and his Virtue is Gi
USS Billy Dee Williams
being gi
USS William D Porter
being yeastily yeasty, yea, verily
being ki
being yeastily yeasty
being excubantly exuberant
That your central girders would not have given way, At least many sensible men do say, Had they been supported on each side with buttresses, At least many sensible men confesses, For the stronger we our houses do build, The less chance we have of being ki
taking the fattest wits
using the word "fatfecalwits"
using the word "titfaceflaws"
using the word "seaclifftwat"
the Battle of Eggy
drawing a picture of Kento being pancake stacked by Crepe Lydon and a waffle
the Battle of Cressy
Waffle education is sin
playing Pants Off Pants Off Revolution
Pants Off Stroganoff
sending Bob Saget to meat Charlemagne
sending Bob Saget to meet Charlemagne
Northern education is sin, eh
Western education is sin
eating waffles out of a chimp anus
wondering if Jodie Sweetin would give you a Pants Off Dance Off if you gave her meth
wondering if Jodie Sweetin would sleep with you if you gave her meth
a cold anal bleach tea day in hell
spooning Jewel's thirty eight triple D's
letting the days go by, letting your anal bleach tea go cold
letting the days go by, letting your tea go cold
Christina Ricci decided to attend the twozerooneone Met Ball in character as Wednesday Addams
Store clerk shoots man who forgot to remove ski mask
having a headstand pageantry kit
Uncle Vatred's thirty eight triple D's
thinking that one of the temps at your new job sort of sounds like a female Sergeant Hatred
having perky tats and a giant head
a long piss mark
Polanskigrams
rapagrams
on a boat during the Amsterdam Rape Big Toady parade
Boat Pride
on a boat during the Amsterdam Gay Pride boat parade
the death of Mimi Kok
Isla Jacques Cousteau
at that rate, the tiny island will have a population of over five billion within four hundred years
suspecting that there are a number of undocumented workers resident on Skorpios
that between two thousand one and two thousand eleven, the population of Skorpios increased by one hundred and fifty percent
Skorpios
regret number six eight zero two two
leaving a listing on craigslist looking for a local ham radio operator and an otter
that you had to look up metousiosis and you probably, if you're being honest, didn't use it correctly but more for effect
you might want to check whether you are showing the early stages of congenital nystagmus
almost writing the regret "The Winky Soldier" but then thinking about the mutable nature of identity here and worrying that it might turn you into Kento, an event you fear may be accompanied by metousiosis and eventual physical transmutation
Roman Polanski's Captain America
waffletastic
Police Arrest Captain America For Texting Teen Girl Photos Of His Penis
drawing a picture of Sting getting kicked out of IHOP for having tantric sex with his vegan waffles
Boston Globe Colon College students in Boston increasingly living in dangerous, illegal off campus sea life centers, wicked pissah
Boston Globe Colon College students in Boston increasingly living in dangerous, illegal off campus housing, wicked pissah
the bitterly ironic music of Tusk, one of the most aquatically mammalian songwriters ever to have Eiffel Towered Kento
using the word "walrustantric"
using the word "walrustastic"
Eco Shark
Eco Jet
Eco Guy
Eco Doll
rubbing one out in the tumor broach hatch
having sex with a guy who looked a lot like Stephen Fry
drinking champagne out of your beloved's breasts in the bathroom at church
huge mega soaps
Former Teen Pants assistant football coach encourages 'Tit Tug TELLER Rape Cad'
megaesophagus
Former Teen Pants assistant football coach encourages 'Tit Tug Penn Rape Cad'
Former Teen Pants assistant football coach encourages 'Duct Tape Parenting'
Former Penn State assistant football coach encourages 'Duct Tape Parenting'
taping up your children's ducts
Former Seattle daycare teacher encourages 'Duck Tape Parenting'
Former Seattle daycare teacher encourages 'Duct Tape Parenting'
sprinking chocolate chips in Jewel's waffles
eating a prick
slamming your dick in Jewel's waffles
using the word "Kentotastic"
being a prick
using the word "chimpanus"
thinking Elvis Presley had risen from the dead and drunkenly recorded a session of Christmas songs, then realising you were listening to Born to Run with the sound down
being Goosish, honk eh
Original Swan
geese are merely corrupted, unlike swans who are utter evil
the very idea of a goose feeling guilt
a goose of faint existential guilt, honk a lonk
naiads
honk honk honk
a clown of faint existential guilt, honk honk
a clown of faint existential guilt
drinking champagne out of a chimp mouth
Your potential regret of that too has already been added! It currently has a regret index of zero
having brushed your teeth, bleached your anus and climbed into bed
having brushed your teeth, washed your face and climbed into bed
opening your ass wide and just putting foot after foot after foot inside, stepping down inside yourself until you disappear in a cloud of faint existential guilt
clown lingerie
opening your mouth wide and just putting foot after foot after foot inside, stepping down inside yourself until you disappear in a cloud of faint existential guilt
making references to conversations from a week or perhaps longer ago
thinking you might go to bed since it's nearly five in the morning
writing the previous two regrets before thinking about how they could be misinterpreted, when actually the intent was to show how weak your own grasp of other people's identities is, and even feeling bad about how this regret could be misinterpreted
it's possible you could be some sort of imposter
not knowing why you're asking me, since you're the one that works here, I think
wondering whether Anal Bleach Tea would refer to tea made from an anus bleaching agent, or tea that is taken anally and made from bleach
Laos nightclub with teachable anal
touching balls with Elena Baltacha
the death of Anal Bleach Tea
the death of Teachable Anal
the death of Elena Baltacha
High Wire Horror Colon Family Circus Takes Terrifying Turn
putting all the Keanes in a Family Circus
Bil Keane's the Colon Circus
putting all the FOURS in a FOUR museum, eh
putting all the trees in a tree museum
Category colon lingerie
a raja's slender mentor
colon lingerie
Lingerie colon football league takes terrifying turn
Lingerie football league takes terrifying turn
taking a walk near your house and spotting a large male Canada goose in the road hissing "eh" at you, then, on the return trip half an hour later, he was still there and still hissing "eh"
Lingerie football league gaining popularity, legitimacy
High Wire Horror Colon Circus Takes Terrifying Turn
taking a walk near your house and spotting a large male Canada goose in the road hissing at you, then, on the return trip half an hour later, he was still there and still hissing
that guy is TWO CASES of SUNSHINE short of CONCEIVING his AUNT
that guy is one bottle of SUNSHINE short of marrying his AUNT
that guy is one bottle of moonshine short of marrying his sister
jorts
slamming that whole thing of boobs into your dick and puking in bed
if you can keep Myke Hawke when all around you are running down stairs slamming their dicks into their boobs and barfing, you are a man, my son
I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, at your desire
sprinking chocoholic pets on your beloved's breasts as you knead them
if you can keep your head when all around you are running down stairs slamming their dicks into their boobs and barfing, you are a man, my son
Leander Starr Jameson
slamming your dick in your boobs when you run down the stairs SPLAT! WHACK! BARF!
slamming the hugest boobs
trying to imagine what combination of immensely huge dick, immensely huge boobs, and incredibly flexible spine would allow one to slam one's own dick in own's own boobs
wholly predictable outcomes
sprinking chocolate chips on your dick in a chimp anus
slamming your dick in your boobs when you run down the stairs
You don't have any mail! Our servers are feeling unloved
diatribe foyer
hot kidding Frankie Muniz
I obey fried rat
SPLAT! WHACK! BARF!
a deep fried boy
a terrified dog
top of the rank, like Pearl & Dean
Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal
going to Chicago and stopping at a fifty year old institution for a deep dish pizza overflowing with meat
obey friar diet
baited frier, yo
rabid fiery toe
a terrified boy
turning Go Ikeda's house into an IHOP
reading the top of Kento's twitter account to see if he really died not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
reading the top of Kento's twitter account to see if he really died
chimp auto brewery syndrome
auto brewery syndrome
the death of Kento Ikeda
playing a lawful good dwarven Eskimo slash cleric in a marching band
playing a lawful good dwarven Eskimo slashfic
playing a lawful good dwarven Eskimo slash cleric
Eskimos cannot be neutral
Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow but none for hello
having defective egret scenes
missing being able to log in to the amazing Regret Index as Kento and post a bunch of fake comments under his name
slamming Myke Hawke in Jewel's boobs
slamming your dick in Stephen Fry's boobs
Rastafarian Thor colon Scram, Bee Mice
Bacteria from Earth can colonise Mars
What Mormons Really Believe
hot dogging Frankie Muniz
Yogurt Bust Cheerios
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
guessing you could say that Assi Dayan has come home
the death of Assi Dayan
Tory candidate quits over homophobic and anti Islamic tweets
Boyzvoice
Cooch Pimp Penus
pronoia
Maryland gun shop receives deluge of death threats after offering for sale "smart gun" that can only be fired by specific individuals
having severe genetic defects
Don Cossacks
When Frankie Muniz once hosted the Fox Box, he stated that Hot Doggone It was his favorite Foodon
Couch Jump Xenus
Brioche Urges Tryouts
Chest Burst Xenos
ordering an Armenian mail order bridge
Soyogurt Burst Kelpos
Yogurt Burst Kentos
Cruncheroos
Millenios
Yogurt Burst Cheerios
sayin shit abaat me mum, ya wanka, cheerio
the regret index being born too late for putting eighteighteight into the teletext rather than inconvenience the neighbours seeing as it is quite late, and too early for remote cochlear stimulation sounding a bit dirty
sayin shit abaat me mum, ya wanka
the very idea of a British woman not being ill tempered
being terrified at the notion of a swan with teeth
that one's kind of a stretch
the amazing Farce Index, look you now
the amazing Farce Index
the very idea of a swan not being ill tempered
ordering an Armenian mail order bridge who was eventually dispatched from China
ordering a British mail order bride only to find out she was actually an ill tempered swan, except she still had the horrible British teeth
ordering an Australian mail order bride whose venom paralysed you during sex and who then laid her fertilized eggs in your spine, you can feel them wriggling
wanting to order a Nigerian mail order bride but needing a small deposit to pay the shipping costs
ordering an American mail order bride who was eventually dispatched from China
having spent so many years entering regrets that you not only forget search engines don't always recognize longhand numbers but tend to write numbers out longhand in everything you do
wanting to order a Russian mail order bride and a Ukrainian mail order bride and watch them fight to the death while a Polish mail order bride tells the Ukrainian mail order bride to tag her in, quick
wanting to order a Russian mail order bride and a Ukrainian mail order bride and watch them fight to the death
leather
making a double breasted suit out of huge breasted BDSM queen leather
bottoming for one thousand Russian ladies in No Results Found VII
making a suit out of huge breasted BDSM queen leather
TOP ONE THOUSAND RUSSIAN LADIES
wondering if the SS Great Western really did employ huge breasted leather wearing BDSM queens
wondering if the SS really did employ huge breasted leather wearing BDSM queens
having sex in a car with a girl who looked a lot like Lion Neeson
deep throating champagne
having sex in a car with a girl who looked a lot like a lion
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Jesus Christ
crucifying a savior who looked a lot like Christina Ricci
Christina Ricci, she's like Christ but more inaricci
incogitable occurrences
making Christina Ricci's Father's house an IHOP
all female members must come to IHOP without their bra and panties
making my Father's house an International House of Pancakes
removing your chimp anus and throat in the bathroom at church
removing your breasts and vagina in the bathroom at church
that is a thing
removing your bra and panties in the bathroom at church
that should probably be a thing
the amazing Coincidence Index
Daniel Kochanski
all female members must come to church without their bra and panties
not realizing that the verb "bugger" derives from Bulgarians, well Bulgarian me
not realizing that the verb "bugger" derives from Bulgarians, thanks Wikipedia!
List of ethnic slurs by ethnicity
the death of Efrem Zimbalist Jr
that actually sounds pretty hot, someone draw that one please
drawing a picture of Jewel and Christina Ricci slamming their boobs together
falling down the stairs and slamming your boobs in various things and places
killing your boobs when you run down the stairs
kissing your boobs when you run down the stairs
thrilling your boobs when you run down the stairs
trying to use ebay to gague how much a Messiah's prepuce is worth, but finding only ''buy now'' prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars
he told those who sold the pigeons, "Take these foreskins away, do not make my Father's house a house of trade"
selling Christ's Foreskin on eBay
buying Christ's Foreskin on eBay
Category colon Tax havens
Kento likes saying it
the Bailiwick of Guernsey
that goes without saying
Kento would like everyone to know that he still goes to the Boston aquarium every day and gets Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus every day
rachel would like everyone to know that she still comes here every day and writes at least a couple of regrets every day
seven year old twin boys hailed as homos for beating off carjacker
seven year old twin boys hailed as heroes for beating off
carjacker
eating that child that took about ninety minutes to completely pass through your system
year old septuplet boys hailed as heroes for beating off carjacker
seven year old twin boys hailed as heroes for beating off carjacker dude
seven year old twin boys hailed as heroes for beating off carjacker
dude
wondering if Allan Thipthorpe knows that his favorite prostitute is a due
hoping that when you're eighty eight, should you feel the need to pay for sex you'll be able to do better than a cross between Rupert Grint and Sean Bean
messin' up the BT decor, 'till they've fallen on the floor
Prostitute ban pensioner punched council official who left him feeling brassed off
Trwvwr thw Vowel
so is a what
eating that chili that took about ninety minutes to completely pass through your system
so is a
w is a vowel
Teens arrested in Cwmcarn High School vowel theft plot, isn't it
Teens arrested in Cwmcarn High School murder plot, isn't it
jumping in the bathroom real quick
that's my name, if you wear it out, I'll get a new one
I know what you mean about the hand count problem
so, are you Sir Swan Swannery
Sir Swan Swannery, plus Irritable Anon was here just now
can I get a hand count of everyone who still comes here, please
dude it was probably a coincidence
they probably aren't a regular here but they came here and posted after I did
oh, wait, nobody here has any fucking clue who you are
oh, wait, there aren't even comments anymore
oh, wait, there is no regret index login
someone must have stolen your regret index login password and wrote a whole bunch of comments under your name
there was someone here who alluded to something I did that I didn't post about on here, they must have hacked me or worse
Eldest Worm Boy, the Chris Lydon biopic
Disney has announced the premiere date for the debut of "Eldest Worm Girl," the sequel series to the channel's successful "Eldest Worm Boy"
Disney has announced the premiere date for the debut of "Girl Meets World," the sequel series to the channel's successful "Boy Meets World"
Cable If Wireless
Worms today remains embattled with the cities Trier and Cologne over the title of "A Moist Girly Tendency"
Worms today remains embattled with the cities Trier and Cologne over the title of "Timely Incest and Orgy"
Worms today remains embattled with the cities Trier and Cologne over the title of "A Grimy Snotty Decline"
Worms today remains embattled with the cities Trier and Cologne over the title of "Oldest City in Germany"
take it away from here
I get that too, but I'd like to talk to this guy, so I'm trying to take it away from here
really not giving a shit about the Thom Yorke emo bullshit regrets
I get that, but it was posted in the last half hour, so it's reasonable to assume the poster may still be around
it wasn't mine
well then what the hell was that wheelchair thing about
I'm not the angry bandit
I just want to talk to this guy and see what's up
I'm Swan Swannery
not being sure if you think I'm the angry bandit or SirSwanSwannery or what
it's a twitter and a gmail
please please don't troll this guy
angry bandit, your paranoia is starting to sync up with mine, so direct yourself and your missives at SirSwanSwannery if you please
please don't troll this guy
I did that very thing less than seventeen hours ago
I do
do you go up to people in wheelchairs dancing too, like hey Mr Wheelchair look what I can do, what are you going to do about it, cry
watching Kento fuck a huge sugar erection in a confectioner's shop window
watching Kelpo fuck an arboretum tree
watching Kento fuck a zoo animal
third time of offering a confidential, anonymous talkthrough
don't troll the disturbed
do you have a plan or do you just like to watch me fuck a zoo animal
do you have a plan or do you just like to watch me like a zoo animal
the Burning of the Houses of Parliament Funkadelic
the Burning of the Houses of Parliament
this gerontic fellow, it is said, had devised a method by which his voice would be transmitted through the very AEther itself, and the memory of that voice be inscribed upon metallic disks that one could use to call upon an identical account of his speech
that presumably in ten year's time ghost peppers will become widely available in the UK
in appearance resembling a huge sugar erection in a confectioner's shop window
that ghost peppers are to today what chipotle was to ten years ago
Arc de Triomphing
wondering what people called Eiffel Towering before the Eiffel Tower was built
seeming to have some vague recollection of a rather risque heliographic plate in which a rotund Celestial cavorted with a triumphal gerontic fellow and a sea cow, or so you believed it to be
seeming to have some vague recollection of a rather risque heliographic plate in which a slatternly decolletage was put upon display for the private titillation of uncouth personages
remembering the first porn you saw on the internet the cacophonous quarter hour of jeering, squawking and mooing pet parents
not realizing that one of the regret index regulars was over one thousand years old
"French Swing," "Chamber of Love," "Nude Kisses" and "Girls of Spain"
la yang p'ien
actually seeing some old timey porn in a peep show machine last year and thinking it was kind of fun, until you realized everyone in it had grown old and died decades ago
vaguely remembering the first porn you saw ever, which would have been a daguerreotype of a Siamese brothel girl
not realizing that one of the regret index regulars was over one hundred years old
vaguely remembering the first porn you saw ever, which would have been a grainy black and white newspaper page of a topless woman
often not remembering the porn you saw a week before on the internet
not remembering the first porn you saw on the internet
the cacophonous quarter hour of jeering, squawking and mooing pet parents
Claims 'Ghost Sex' Is 'Really Pleasurable' Ahhh Ahh Ahh Ahhh Ahhhhhahhhh
remembering that Carmen Electra nude was the first porn you ever saw on the internet
Goose and Tom Tom
Julia Roberts and first husband Lyle Lovett pose with a clearly unamused Susan Sarandon
Claims 'Goat Sex' Is 'Really Pleasurable'
Claims 'Ghost Sex' Is 'Really Pleasurable'
Ahhh Ahh Ahh Ahhh Ahhhhhahhhh
the Pontiac Silverdome
Go roid
chippa dee ba ba dow
everywhere you look, everywhere you go, there's a heart, there's a heart, a hand to hold on to
Pig Bet
Beg Pit
Big Pet
dogoir
tiger moms
the cacophonous quarter hour of jeering, squawking and mooing
pet parents
when he gets stressed or frustrated, he quacks like a duck
Omukama
weird time to be watching evening TV
evening TV
the paper boy
the milkman
predictability
mo doc worth
hot cod worm
Doctor Whom
that's going to end up bashed tinier
that's going to end up in the sidebar
spending so much time writing bizarre sexual sceanrios involving a guy you've never met having sex with animals and obscure American talk radio hosts
developing feelings for the amazing lOO% Banditry Index
that's just part of the deal, that's the way I feel
just thinking that it's weird that spending so much time with people whom you couldn't even put a fake name to, let alone a real face, could lead to a feeling of responsibility when one of them claims to be in distress
we HAVE spent a lot of time together talking about presentation of dates, Kento being some kind of sexual monstrosity, and obscure American talk radio hosts
we HAVE spent a lot of time together
sometimes feeling like a regret index regular or regret index regulars understand you more than anyone else, then reflecting on that
neunakkos
neuchachos
Joe Supra Hitch
Joshua Pitcher
Ly Free or Don't
Live Free or Don't
Paul Simon, Edie Brickell arrested and charged with neutrality
telling my wife I said "hello"
I have no opinion about this and I have no opinion about that
just kidding, I don't know either of them
well, things fell through with the One Legged Pakistani Girl and I'm looking for something new
wondering what's brought this up again
that in all fairness the URWIN sounds pretty hot
looking for highly intelligent individuals who probably get nervous easily and don't like stairs
I never said we dated
Cicada FOURFOURONETWO
Cicada ThreeThreeZeroOne
Woman famous only for being a drug addict likely to have died of drug overdose, inquest hears
Pope likely to be Catholic, inquest hears
Heroin likely to have played role in Peaches Geldof's death, inquest hears
never finding out who dated the uptight right wing Israeli ninja
The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train
haiku of smile
male shiofuki
shiofuki champagne out of a chimp anus
soygret
Kelpomon, the vegan alternative to Pokemon
what you need is vole option # nine
what you need is love potion # nine
an easy savaging
vegan gay Asians
Kelpo, the vegan alternative to Kento
Scheissfreundlich
fart dance precedes huge dump
wondering what's up with fart dance, yo
wondering what's up with France today
that thinking about it, Kento actually set up a forum for people to call him an idiot on, and then asked us to go there and basically berate him in front of an audience
I don't think it's a suicide threat
it's not me, and I don't think the Suicide Threat Bandit is Kento either
if you're just quoting shit from Breaking Bad you can fuck right off
Bryan Cranston Thrills Student Leaders And Manatee
Bryan Cranston Thrills Student Leaders At Matinee
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Bryan Cranston and an ocelot
always having thought that Kento would just rise above what a half dozen idiots say on some site even google barely bothers to index
wondering if this is Kento, and Kento has finally snapped, in which case, dude, I am sorry for that, not a joke
nobody else here seems to know what you're talking about
I'm pretty sure you're talking to me because it seems like I write half this shit
you seem pretty sure I've done something but so far I haven't even heard the charge you're laying against me here
I really don't see how I've done any such thing
you have made me a prisoner but I am still free
once again offering to talk whatever it is through
I've still got no idea what you're talking about, but you're clearly very distressed about it
I didn't choose this, it's not my fault, I have nothing to be ashamed of, you forced me into this
wondering who's this now
passive aggressive suicide notes
wearing a scrunchy
Cirque du Soleil is in Portland until May fourth only
Sexual assault complaints among troops jump fifty percent
oh tummy doesn't talk back to me
my mouth doesn't talk back to me
that you really did walk into a beehive yesterday
pinch punch, first of the month
eating a hot mess
being a hot mess
not realizing until he shot himself with a shotgun that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
shooting Kurt Cobain in the eye with a shotgun when you were a kid
being ceded John's wino workout fee
probably not Courtney Love
wondering who this is now
Note From Kurt Cobain's Wallet Scorning Courtney Love Released by Seattle Police
impish bilge snots
impossible things
baffling outbursts
six two five two seven
two six nine six seven
Ingsoc Bergman
crab in shame
I bet
I can mesh bra
a sin chamber
Nice Bra Mash
Brain Scam, Eh
Ham in Braces
Bra Machines
Cabin Harems
Macabre Shin
Seaman Birch
being choked under forty hot Jewish women
being shocked under forty hot Jewish women
No results found for "Thirty Hottest Jewish Women Under Forty Will SHOCK YOU"
Thirty Hottest Jewish Women Under Forty Will SHOCK YOU
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the pasty skinned european gumshoe is paid in kroner
wondering why the regretter in France is up all night, as your own excuse is being some kind of pasty skinned northern european
listening to Paris in the Spring with some parrots in a spring in Paris in the Spring
deep throating thy pen serf
anagrams but not Bicoid Babe
listening to Paris in the Spring in Paris in the Spring
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is Gene Hackman
BEING FILLED WITH ICI ORGY ANUS GRIT
BEING FILLED WITH RAGING CURIOSITY
wondering if the regretter in France is also the regretter who anagrams everything
all making inquiries and such
I deserved that
also still wondering if Gene Hackman went to France, because of The French Connection and everything
also still wondering if Bicoid Babe went to France, because of the French connection and everything
wanting to write something witty or on point about that but being kind of wiggy right now
I'm twenty seven
it's just bugging me
being a skeleton made of stardust wearing skin
clothes
wut r u waring
being asl'd on the regret index
wondering if this is Bicoid Babe in France or Colonel Mustard in the Library
FACKIN ENGLUND
wondering if you would mind identifying yourself by gender and age
asking someone their geographical location but not revealing your own, you silly goose
also yes
having been to paradise but having never been to me
having never been to Paris
OK well then I just have no idea what's going on
France
wondering if you would mind identifying yourself by geographical location
joining the Ethiopian Navy
when the west wind moves upon the fields of barley
we really need to get the comments back
it's kind of hard to look at the list of regrets and piece together the conversation sometimes, so I really have no idea what was going on
expecting that you don't know what the other person was talking about, either
midnight's catnips are the worst
thinking that is very decent of you to say so
the midnight's catnips index
I just want to say that whoever you were talking to earlier is not me
really wanting to talk about what happened earlier because it's buggering the shit out of you
the Schmidt Sting regret index
really wanting to talk about what happened earlier because it's bugging the shit out of you
take that, Sting
the shit Sting Song Index
the Schmidt sting pain index
cuckoo bees
lending your bees and more bees to a dishonest beekeeper
going into Tosche Station to pick up some honey from the bee that works there, Pointo "Stingz" Deebar
walking into a beehive of bees and more bees
being kind of bothered by the whole thing
being actually pretty bothered by the accusation that you let someone die
specific but still vague weirdness
general weirdness
Chris Lydon't
thinking you were going to lick marsala sauce off of Chris Lydon't erect penis but it turned out to be masala sauce
confusing lion Mustafa with lion marsala
getting a vascectomy just so you wouldn't impregnate anyone
what the hell damn guy
confusing chicken masala with chicken marsala
if I had a duck bill for all for the things I've done, there'd be a mountain of feathers piled up to my chin
if I had a dollar bill for all for the things I've done, there'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
another ominous silence
wondering, apropos of nothing, who died
wondering if you've spoken to them here recently, because it's me at night and California and occasionally Japan and New York
maybe you don't but someone does
I just have no idea what to respond with here
this would make anyone crazy, that means nothing
walking into a beehive
alternatively maybe I'd feel better if you stopped quoting whatever you're quoting
maybe you'd feel better if you talked the problem through with me
paraphrasing PaRappa the rapper
lending your kroner to a dishonest hardboiled cockney gumshoe
this is some ominous silence you're doing here
there is literally no way for me to know who you are
I have some idea of who I'd like you to be, but since that would make me insane and a crazy person, and also some kind of crackpot lunatic person, I don't really acknowledge it
I'm not screwing with you
but why put so much effort into screwing with me
I saw your friend first, that's who I danced with
a newspaper why not or periodical as they say
some kind of book perhaps
I honestly have no idea if you're quoting a movie or TV show right now
be, and eat
A Radical Particle dash Anti particle Asymmetry In Algebraic Unification
what the fuck am I supposed to do
an anti commerce radical
I actually don't know
she shimmy shakes, the Hattie Jacques of consequence
she shimmy shakes, the Jimmy Jakes of consequence
you know who's asking
depends who's asking
you let her die, didn't you
Flamingo One
Sam the Seagull
kind of wanting to make a Mars Toastie, that is, a Mars bar flattened and heated between two slices of bread
not knowing who's doing what, even
I've been out all day
why are you doing this
the death of Bob Hoskins
farming for moisture
the newest firefox update, barf
wondering how specific the Star Wars droids are in their tasks, like are there macrame droids and tubal ligation droids
persistent beliefs that very unlikely things are true
crinkly hick polecat
slamming Brian Peppers in church
Happy Krishna
Smiling Buddha
all pork city chicken
Mayor's Tats
Young people who take high doses of a licit ruddiness are twice as likely to become peasants
Mars to Stay
watching a be kid food, throw it up, be it again, then throw it up again, and the only thing stopping it from being it one more time is your intervention, and you do nothing
obeying the Prime Directive
watching a eat dog food, throw it up, eat it again, then throw it up again, and the only thing stopping it from eating it one more time is your intervention, and you do nothing
having too much caffeine and thinking about yourself
why, kippers and eggs, guvna
wondering what's for breakfast
anal homo tike ma dies after 'botched' anthill ejection
Oklahoma! cast member dies after 'botched' lethal injection
Oklahoma inmate comes back to life after 'botched' lethal injection
Oklahoma inmate dies after 'botched' lethal injection
Young people who take high doses of antidepressants are twice as likely to become suicidal
there's no way you're in France
Yon Wads
Snow Day
Shoah Day
Showaddywaddy
Wads Ahoy
Showa Day
getting thigh raped by trendy poofs
shiofuki
getting thigh raped by trendy fops
that Japanese uses the same term for a whale blowing out of its blowhole to refer to female ejaculation
googling "teen rape index"
trendy fops thigh rape teen
Depiction of "spit roast" on rim of an Attic red figure kylix
the Roast Busters scandal
the amazing Teen Rape Index
pimps in berg rape teen
preteen mafia toss cod
being shocked by how many phrases you can find "teen rape" in
Dong Dong
teen rape moist sofa CD
Ding Dong
considering writing "Dong Dong" but then deciding it was stupid and writing "Dong Kong" instead
Space Station Freedom
being really glad that the regret index is back up and running so you had the chance to write Dong Dong
Dong Dong
Dong Kong
Hong Dong
Kong Hong
Hong Kong
Honkey Dong
redonkulous
Konkey Dong
ridiculous
Donkey Kong
Denky Keng
Dinkey King
Dankey Kang
poster regrets une heure et demie du matin
Deep Boobs beating Garry Kasparov at chest
being given the deep boobs
hardboiled gumcode
watching a hardboiled Mexican gumshoe holding Jewel's water in the bathroom at church
slamming your dick in Stephen Fry's throat when you run down the stairs at church
Google Chrome could not find lolitics dot com
giving away lolitics dot com
Gobliiins
kathenotheism
breaking into a series of banks and forcing the employees to accept money
that The Prankster's wikipedia biography astonishingly does not mention The Joker even once
classic comic book villain The Prankster
Bronson Pinchot
Mark Linn Baker
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Star Wars Episode VII Colon Drunken, Sleepy Mumbling
Drunken, Sleepy Mumbling
Scalier Slope Thrills Skywatchers in Australia
Solar Eclipse Thrills Skywalkers in Australia
blowing into Carrie Fisher's chapstick while gently squeezing her bag in your armpit
blowing into Carrie Fisher's blowhole while gently squeezing her dorsal fin in your armpit
farting on the Gherkin until it falls over
a scene where a monster farts on the Gherkin until it falls over
Solar Eclipse Kills Skywatchers in Australia
Solar Eclipse Kisses Skywatchers in Australia
Solar Eclipse Holds Skywatchers in Australia
Solar Eclipse Thrills Skywatchers in Australia
A drummer from the heavy metal band Scorpions, the group behind the anthem Rock You Like a Hurricane, has been jailed for a month for getting drunk and flashing his middle finger at Muslims in Dubai
blowing into Carrie Fisher's blowstick while gently squeezing her bag in your armpit
blowing hard into Carrie Fisher while squeezing her between your arm and chest in a marching band
playing Carrie Fisher like bagpipes
Carrie Fisher to Play Hutt Crime Lord in New 'Star Wars'
getting a job as a Conist
Harrison Ford To Play Carrie Fisher
Harrison Ford's Entire Script In New 'Star Wars' To Conist of Drunken, Sleepy Mumbling
Harrison Ford Preparing to Phone In Biggest Role of His Life
Harrison Ford Has 'Gigantic' Role In New 'Star Wars'
not being tenants opted to that bucolic database
not being able to connect to that stupid database
hello world
happens once a day
it's about five am in France now, which is not too weird
weird time to be eating breakfast
a petit dejeuner
Roman Polanski's A Inept Shit
Roman Polanski's Spit in Heat
Roman Polanski's Shin Ape Tit
Roman Polanski's Pain Tithes
Roman Polanski's Tan Shit Pie
Roman Polanski's Panties Hit
Roman Polanski's The Penis
Roman Polanski's The Pianist
with music by our side to break the color lines
Teen Butt Rape Piano Hour
Teen Butt Rape Piano Tour
Operation A Teen Pub Rut
Operation Bat Preen Tutu
In this twenty count indictment, Representative Binks lived by a new motto colon missa no care!
In this twenty count indictment, Representative Grimm lived by a new motto colon fraud, perjury, and obstruction
Operation Peanut Butter was an entrapment scenario if ever there was one
A reducible moleskin lip arrested and charged with disorderly conduct
Paul Simon, Edie Brickell arrested and charged with disorderly conduct
Clifford the Big Red Dog has been found guilty of eight counts of indecent assault in the most high profile historical sex crime case to date under Scotland Yard's Operation Peanut Butter investigation
that if you were in charge, they would know that waterboarding is how you baptize terrorists
Max Clifford has been found guilty of eight counts of indecent assault in the most high profile historical sex crime case to date under Scotland Yard's Operation Yewtree investigation
kelp jolts bulimic
multiple lick jobs
wondering if multiple trannies were to lick your penis simultaneously, if that would be termed a single lick job, or multiple lick jobs
stone baking your penis
stone baking your pennies
electroplating your pizza
getting a lick job from a pack of hobos in the dumpster behind Olive Garden
wondering if tonight's the night you tell me what you do electroplating your emotions
wondering if tonight's the night you tell me what you do
electroplating your emotions
that pride and shame are like two sides of the same coin
thank you
you should be
I'm very proud of that regret
I stand by it
you read it right
I was just making sure that I'd read it right
yes, that's what I said
Nautical Miley Xerxes
NAUTICAL MILEY XERXES wrecking your FOUR DIMENSIONAL SPHERES
sexualized stick insects
looking back fondly on the time when the stupidest thin