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fruit leathers?
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a world of regret

filling mole's asses with molasses
liquid hot smegma
the days going by
being Eiffel Towered
secretly Eiffel Towering someone who wakes up every night from being Eiffel Towered
BOVVlE
symmastia
forking Jewel's boobs
not actually going to Forcaboob, just observing that it had a funny name
dreaming about a fictional place called Forcaboob
tired mountain syndrome
secretly fucking someone who wakes up every night from nightmares
secretly killing someone who wakes up every night from nightmares
my God, I loved my boys on that show
I grew to really love Star Trek Colon Voyager, and out of a cast of nine, I've made three great friends
the man had no boundaries
he probably asked Nurse Chapel to watch him take a sonic shower a couple times too
guessing that Kirk doesn't give a shit about whether it is transgressive to fuck a given hole
wait I mean Ensign Wildman
I'm just going to say Janeway and hope you don't judge me
Ocampa give birth through their backs so Kirk only knows where sticking sex appendages is or isn't transgressive with them
if we're talking about characters then I don't know because I don't know that they all have butts or even cloacas
if I had to guess I'd say anyone but Jeri Ryan, probably someone like Jennifer Lien or based on this one sweaty clip of him clutching a water bottle and desperately trying to hold it together on E! back in the nineties, Robert Duncan McNeill
wondering which member of the Voyager crew was most into butt stuff
Star Trek Colon Deep Space IX but the theme and all incidental music are played on a slide whistle
Star Trek Colon Voyager but the theme and all incidental music are played on castanets
I just want to play on my pan pipes
Aydin Onac has been suspended as head of St Olave's school in Orpington
Kento's new Manbang exclusive sitcom, Booby Dudey
Self Transforming Machine Elf on the Shelf
Barf Dizzy
Poverty strikes dead the very souls of all who come within sight, sound or smell of it
did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Dizzy the Wise
an empire of giants that collapsed
a wilderness loving barbarian race that uses domesticated dinosaurs as mounts
stupid sexy Shelob
shaving a vine with Seven of Nine
Tolkien does not specifically mention cock size as a generic hobbit trait, but does make it the distinctive trait of the Proudcock hobbit family
sexy Shelob
Snake Outta Compton
tempting Gandalf
even though she's got to be closer to sixty than forty
starring Sandra Bullock
an all female Old West town is visited by an attractive young gunslinger who is at first treated with scorn until the townsfolk realize she could entice local outlaws to drink and spend money in the town, High Tits Drifter
Tolkien does not specifically mention foot size as a generic hobbit trait, but does make it the distinctive trait of the Proudfoot hobbit family
wanting to make Kento twenty first century schizoid man for his birthday
wanting to make Kento mellified man for his birthday
defiling that Hitler's fridge with your girth
down beside thigh tit deferral
down beside that Hitler fridge
down beside that girth defiler
down beside that red firelight
Christavril Aguilavigne
thinking that Avril Lavigne had children for some reason but guessing you just had her confused with Christina Aguilera
thinking that Christina Aguilera was Canadian for some reason but guessing you just had her confused with Avril Lavigne
a remake of The Parent Trap but with Christina Aguilera and Hayden Christensen as themselves
fuck marry kill, Christina Aguilera, Hayden Christensen, Chris Christie
a remake of Freaky Friday but with Christina Aguilera and Hayden Christensen as themselves
a remake of Trading Places but with Christina Aguilera and Hayden Christensen as themselves
deep gnomes
Christina Aguilera's Dirrrrrrty except every dirty is replaced by a FUCK! beeeees and the video is an apiforme sex tape slash Christina Aguilera wearing a beard of bees slash being stung to death
Frenchman's Head Vaginas Are Not Dirty
sociological gobbledygook
Pokemon Money Power and Abuse
Frenchman's Head
VAGINAS ARE NOT DIRTY
money power and abuse go hand in hand in every profession
bottoming for Beepbo Ikeda in Fat Gay Asian Hand Job Robots VII
THE GIANT EIFFEL TOWER DUEL
THE GIANT EFFETE ROBOT DUEL
jacking your pair of nuts on a right bet
betting your right jack on a pair of nuts
what this town needs is more threadbare mall spaces at great cost to local taxpayers
having Strong Opinions about a place you haven't visited much less lived in for years
The new road layout would create space for a marketplace on Commercial Road, magically different to the existing half mile pedestrian zone of Commercial Road nobody already uses for the same purpose
hard working members of the public who are expected to turn up for their day jobs or face sanctions
thinking college kids shouldn't practice neoteny
Serggin cuff
Bob Weinstein Accused of Sexual Harassment by TV Showrunner
bottoming for Bert Harvest in Ass Traitors VII
CCH ROYALE sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say
Pres Bush listened while I screamed at him & then held me as I sobbed
CCH Pounder sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say
being in the unfortunate habit of falling for a pretty smile but not granted the rank of Master
bert harvest
A CCCP pound woman sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say bert harvest is new record, little girl is class traitor, pound woman is hero of revolution, awarded medal of beets
I just couldn't hold on any longer
too soon
being in the unfortunate habit of free falling for Petty realism
being in the unfortunate habit of falling for petty realism
the Lord of the Rings but every ring is changed to a wang
Old men, and babes, and loving friends, and youths and maidens gay
the comedy equivalent of Jeb Bush's "Please clap"
really starting to question whether Jimmy Savile ever said eueueueueueugh or whether that was all from Spitting Image
We're depending on our partners in the court system to make a good decision, how's about that then, boys and girls
Old mate finished changing his son, thanked me and off he went cumming on people now, smiling on your brother, every body getting together, trying to love one another
We're depending on our partners in the court system to make a good decision
Old mate finished changing his son, thanked me and off he went
cumming on people now, smiling on your brother, every body getting together, trying to love one another
Neo Nazi comes out as gay and reveals Jewish roots while renouncing ties to far right groups
I'm not sure we can consider FanMM an authority
CCCXX
A CCCLL pound woman sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say
Even for people with very limited technology chops, this is a way for them to have an extremely protected profile
he does the hands very well
they're great layers
I would want to fuck an onion if I were not in a relationship
fucking your ex onion for old times sake
the code was "Hey, look, it's Harvey Weinstein"
We had a secret code among us actresses to warn each other about creeps
marry a carrot, obviously
fuck marry kill, an onion, a carrot, celery
you need to stop & ask yourself, am i dating a human or an onion
Max II Colon White House Hero 'may have killed young boy' in Glengormley
CAPITOL CRITTERS 'may have killed young boy' in Glengormley
Family dog 'may have killed young boy' in Glengormley
Pussycat Guys
it's okay, I still love you
I wasn't in a girl group, I was in a prostitution ring
O om dologhtod Colon hos spokon ond O romombor hom boong voro sopportovo ot tho tmo
I am delighted Colon has spoken and I remember it being very supportive at the time
Colin has spoken, like the first Colin
I am delighted Colin has spoken and I remember him being very supportive at the time
fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox, Sophie Dix, Hannah Weiner
Le Presidente de la Republique a initie la revocation de la legion d'honneur decernee a Weinstein
being first bound, then gagged, then hooded and beaten by a machine
misophonia, the ability to hear soup
French President Emmanuel Macron initiated the revocation of Weinstein's Legion of Honor award
Naughtyish Dog Responds To Step Standing Allegations
Naughty Dog Responds To Crap On Carpet Allegations
Bristol Weincream
sparing a thought for the intern tasked with playing 'Harvey' in the Trump Weinstein congratulatory call, their dreams of making a difference subsumed into a well of dirty talk about sexual assault
wanting to congratulate Donald Trump on his Herculean restraint over the Weinstein scandal, but suspecting his silence is simply because some wise staffer has found a way to gatekeep the endless stream of self harming bullshit
Naughty Dog Responds To Sexual Harassment Allegations
Woody Allen Says He Feels 'Sad' for All In Weinstein Scandal, Including Harvey Weinstein
Trump challenges Tillerson to prove intactitude
Snow Shark
'I'm intact,' Tillerson says, brushing off drama with Trump
a small city murder case with overtones of gender identity and sexuality
in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, for her pleasure
an "escapologist" who had been made into a "human goat"
a "humanist" who had been made into a "scapegoat"
wondering how much John Goodman will get paid for starring in the inevitable Harvey Weinstein biopic
The Beverly Bees Beebillies
the Bristol Harvey Weinstein scale
oloroso
Harvey Cream's Bristols
Bristol's Harvey Cream
Harveys Bristol Cream
fuck marry kill, Harvey Weinstein, Harvey Milk, Harvey Cream
Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there take your top off do you mind if I masturbate you have fabulous tits whoops don't mind that that's just my finger
bottoming for Colon Harvey Weinstein in A Certain Kind of Work I
Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called FUCK! Beeeeees
bottoming for Beverly Bees and Ben Affluent in FUCK! Bees III
As a member of a group of nearby neighborhoods that are affluent, it is known as one of the "Three Bees", along with Beverly Bees and FUCK! Air
fuck marry kill, The Beverly Hills Hillbillies, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Brentwood Magazine
Bol Oor, Urug hai general
sex pest Rg jus
Bol Oor
Bovorlo Holls
Brontwood
As a member of a group of nearby neighborhoods that are affluent, it is known as one of the "Three Bs", along with Beverly Hills and Bel Air
Brentwood is also home to many celebrities such as actors and actresses
no i
with a trick like expelling his colon, Harvey will always be able to get a certain kind of work i
Movie Academy Votes To Expel Harvey Weinstein Colon Complicity "In Our Industry Is Over, Except If You're Relatively Young and Hot and Still Have Box Office Drawing Power, Because C'mon, Let's Be Honest, Living In Brentwood Ain't Cheap"
Movie Academy Votes To Expel Harvey Weinstein Colon Complicity "In Our Industry Is Over"
sex pest au jus
signed, Ben Affleck
drinking gin from Jyn Erso's arsehole
Pot Noodles are eaten throughout the UK where admitting that you're not enjoying something and it's slowly ruining you is the everyday norm
Crystal noodles are enjoyed throughout Asia where a healthy diet is the everyday norm
sex pest jus
kind of wanting Matt Damon to be outed as a sex pest jus so that you can call him Butt Demon
lewd blancmange snake
New England blam cakes
Alopex Affleck
something somethin Jeffrey Epstein something Bill Clinton something the Island of President's Virgins
Krang Affleck
being called after a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles supporting character
something something Ocean's Fourteen something showgirl something R Kelly something Fontainebleau
wondering if Chris Brown would star in Ocean's Fourteen if they needed someone to beat the fuck out of a showgirl or something as part of the heist
I just find it really hard to care about the brother of a has been
Casey was the hitty one right
Casey Affleck & Chris Brown Team for Movie on America's Pinkerton Detectives
the Island of the Virgin Presidents
the Virgin of the President Islands
for some reason y'all didn't tell Trump to stick to reality TV and bankruptcy
Ben Affleck & Matt Damon Team for Movie on America's First Detectives
being granted the rank of Han Solo but not being in the hand cut off club
New England clam bakes
Chuck Norris memes are ten times funnier when you crop out the bottom caption
the President of the Virgin Islands
the Ain't It Cool News review of Blade II
back in the nineties when getting your dick caught in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer
kind of loving Dillon, that son of a bitch
Muniz explained he chose to focus on this year because he has suffered nine concussions and multiple "mini strokes", and they have left him unable to recall the past, including his six years on the sitcom
fuck marry kill, Hans Gruber, Hans Zimmer, Han Solo
I'm SCISSORS in your hand
I'm paper in your hand
fuck marry kill, JR Ewing, JRR Tolkien, j'ai arrete
There's nothing quite like an afternoon of sex with two guys, one of whom is my husband
back in the nineties when getting caught with your hook in a killer's mouth was a big deal but not a career dicker
fuck marry kill, JRR Tolkien, George RR Martin, JJ Abrams
trying to use ebay to gague how much Ben Affleck's jizz is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from zero to fifty percent of his net worth
first rate foul mouthed tongue lashing
true nature is as difficult to be met with in authors, as the Bayonne ham, or Bologna sausage, is to be found in the shops
I really think you and I need to sit down and downsize some of these memes, things are getting way too complicated around here
something something Hugh Grant something blue pill something Steak n Shake something the Wachowskis something Eddie Murphy something something cumming like a fountain
All IV Decapitated members formally charged with rape
something something Hugh John Mungo Grant something in the summer time when the weather is high
The Englishman Who Took a Blue Pill And Came Like a Fountain
The company's now defunct newspaper, Today, had falsely claimed that Grant verbally abused a young extra with a "foul mouthed tongue lashing" on the set of The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain
back in the nineties when getting a leprechaun caught in your dick was a big deal but not a career killer
back in the nineties when getting caught with a leprechaun in your dick was a big deal but not a career killer
Conspiracy theories that Eddie Murphy hired an assassin to kill Shalimar were discussed by spectators but never proven
back in the nineties when getting caught with your dick in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer
going into Touchy Station and trying to pick up some power converters
he wants to go home and rethink his life
He says that he belongs to someone named Obi Wan Assfacedshitsack, I thought he might have meant Old Ben
looks like TeaMpOisoN's blasting off again!
Ben Assfacedshitsack, death stick dealer
Ben Assfacedshitsack
Jennifer Garner has a point, and not just because nobody wants another Jaden Smith problem
thinking that anyone who truly cared about her kids' wellbeing probably wouldn't have let that assfaced shitsack dump his worthless jizz in her pussy not once, not twice, but three times
The sea is wet and also water
The Ministry of Defence is responsible for controlling Britain's defence policies and is also the headquarters of the British Armed Forces
Jennifer Garner is not happy with the negative news surrounding her ex Ben Affleck as it means more unwanted attention of their kids
TeaMpOisoN
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Kowalski' as more leprechauns violently emerge
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Piggy Eyed Ratboy' as more Justice League promotional images emerge
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Scatman' as more groping allegations emerge
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Buttman' as more groping allegations emerge
Batman v Superman Colon Dawn of Justice except Ben Affleck makes Wonder Woman sit on his lap and tries to talk her into showing him her boobs while he sticks his finger up her butt
Phone Booth except Ben Affleck arrives in what is inarguably a light tank and crushes Colin Farrell while growling indecipherably
The Lobster except halfway through Ben Affleck arrives in what is inarguably a light tank and kills a bunch of dudes who are really just in the way and then spends ninety minutes chasing down Colin Farrel with hot butter and a crab claw set
Ponsonby Britt OBE
Daredevil except instead of wailing on the eminently punchable Colin Farrell he wails on this tv pretty boy until Natasha Fatale tells him to stop
Daredevil but the main dude is like ten years too old to ever be convincing and the plot dialogue pacing editing acting and direction are somehow even worse
Daredevil but instead of dance scenes and a super gay fun times vibe it just ramps up the growling in the rain and Daredevil brands human beings heroically or whatever, and also looks like an escapee from a kangaroo farm
never even seeing Good Will Hunting because of a niggling doubt that it could be any good instead ofbeing the most nineties shitshow possible, eclipsing even Dogma for sheer shitshowery
consulting on whether it's possible to sue Ben Affleck for emotional distress after seeing so many of his truly shitty movies
These breasts are really firm, suspiciously firm, they are like two giant stones
there are so many things you can do, like rip someone's tongue out of their throat and get away with it and rape beautiful women
watching the Watchmen but not really paying attention and basically missing like a third of it, in that you recall when questioned that there was a sex scene, but you don't spontaneously recall it
plus I kind of joked about it on co and wouldn't you know it they basically went and did the exact same thing but with the comic books at the next relaunch
even when it's so tedious that I didn't even watch it
there was a moment earlier this year when I was genuinely worried about the possibility of Watchmen the movie and certain other projects being retroactively added to the so called DCEU but only because I feel like I'm expected to know about this shit
probably never, except in a Kingdom Hearts or Super Smash Bros type of deal
wondering how long it will be before we start getting The Avengers vs Star Wars kind of shit
Who Who Hime, anime owl princess
these little town rubes aren't destined for fame, I'll get a hand job out of it, I'm sure, I'm sure
start spreading your legs, I'm Harvey Weinstein, I want to be inside of it, you whore, you whore
all I'm saying is maybe there's a reason the corpse of a mentally handicapped toddler has never starred in a Miramax picture
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant Until I Gave Birth This Morning
righties and lefties can't get it on because their genitals are in the wrong place
Tonight, a comedian died in New York
hime
c'mon, don't say that, you don't want hime to sue us in New York
that we know of
that in fairness Harvey Weinstein has probably never had sex with the corpse of a mentally handicapped toddler
eueueueueueugh
ambition and love wearing boxing gloves and singing hearts and flowers
Harvey Weinstein Says He's "Devastated" Over Wife Georgina Chapman's Decision to Leave Him Sitting on the Toilet, and is "Afraid to Get Down"
He walked by me, cupped my butt and pressed his finger into my crack
who who
let who who has never sexually harassed and raped record breaking numbers of women over a span of four decades cast the first stone, amirite
Harvey Weinstein Says He's "Devastated" Over Wife Georgina Chapman's Decision to Leave Him
as commemorated in Michael Dorn's tattoos
then he pissed on Stuart Baird's scalp
Jonathan Frakes walked into the editing suite on the last day of editing, threw a dragon dildo at the editor, and yelled "let's talk about Riker's legacy"
wondering what prude decided to leave the second mind rape scene on the cutting room floor
According to Burton and several other members of the main cast, Baird kept referring to LeVar as "Laverne" throughout production and thought the character of Geordi La Forge was an alien
there were some nods, like the barely warp capable flower eating midgets being admitted to the Federation on an accelerated schedule, but the lore was lost in a haze of cameos
Senator Ja
that we never got a glimpse into the post Dominion war alpha quadrant, and instead got a new boring race with gross old man faces and some stupid Romulan shit
Marina Sirtis walked on set on the last day of filming, threw a dragon dildo into the captain's chair, and yelled "we're not leaving this set until someone gets raped, and it ain't gonna be me"
Admiral Ja
mainly because it might be similar enough to my fanfiction for me to be able to sue
Insurrection would have been so much better if it was a post Voyager show about the last Maquis trying to find their new place in the galaxy and the presumable integration of Cardassians into Starfleet, using, say, captain Chakotay reporting to Admiral Ja
the last one has me intrigued
you should only watch it if you want to see one or more of three things, namely,an early example of Tom Hardy pretending to be an older actor, Ron Perlman being totally unrecognisable, and Troi mind raping someone
having never seen Star Trek Colon Nemesis because Star Trek Colon Insurrection was so awful and everything you've read about it proves you made the right decision
FUTURE IS MEGATRON
not even minding Enterprise, just thinking that it would have been better received running parallel to a movie series tailing off the later era
really kind of wishing they'd made a movie other than Nemesis, using the better cast of the later shows and handing off to them with a new ship and new crew, instead of another TNG movie where Brent Spiner was inexplicably the focus
past are prime
that in Star Trek II Colon The Wrath of Khan they were all like "oh, we're all crusty old farts who are past are prime, isn't that funny" and then they did it again in every movie after that so by the time they got to Generations you wished for death
Star Trek Colon Condo In Space
he tried to watch TNG again and it was always a repeat of "Condo Roof, Eh"
fuck marry kill, the Chin people, the Armenian people, Hapax Legomon
he tried to watch TNG again and it was always a repeat of "Code of Honor"
my nest in the set was concealed behind the port side science console and she rarely turned that way
The Chin people are one of the major ethnic nationalities in Burma
I've never seen her from the front
Major Chin
wondering what she has tattooed on her front
Garrett Wang talks about it frequently in his tearful convention panels about how his two surrogate mothers fought on set
I'm a big fan
wondering how you know what Kate Mulgrew has tattooed on her back
floor dyslexia earring up
something something Your Highness something given wood something Dickgirl Natalie Portman something erection something still a funnier joke than anything in that goddamn movie
yoor dosloxoo florong op
a Kerala Jew by the name of Joseph Rabban who accepted on behalf of his community copper plates granting the local Jews a set of privileges by the Hindu leader Bhaskara Ravi Varman was also given wood by his Highness for the erection of a synagogue
clearly it was instructed to hide
Renovation in eighteen eighty three and exploration of the attic in August twenty fourteen found no trace of a golem
In Gary Gygax's Gord the Rogue novels, Eclavdra is depicted as incredibly beautiful, with jet black skin, violet eyes, perfect breasts, and silvery or snow white hair
Vladimir Putin's dog Lethimeat Nutsthen has joined Instagram
wondering if the puppy has any clue about the future where he will be required to gnaw the testicles off of political dissidents
Russian President Vladimir Putin, a dog lover, was presented Wednesday with a puppy as a belated birthday gift from the leader of Turkmenistan
never quite getting why the best detectives were supposed to be like candy
bottoming for ee cummings in ee cumming
The police officer with a conscience, who cannot be corrupted in any way, is also common, and is usually modeled after the hardboiled detective
rubbing Juan out in the bathroom at church, madre de dios, ay vayase
ee
Kate Mulgrew has that tattooed on her back
drawing a picture of Scatman John shitting on Jeri Ryan's scalp while Robert Beltran takes a dump on her chest
incestuous bagel
Scatman Cookie Monster
gelatinous cubes
Breastman John
where duos lousily unionizes
we seriously oozed insulin, uh
une dad
nude ad
I will always acknowledge my Hung brothers when they identify themselves
undead
several rumours began to circulate about the cast, such as with the crew meeting untimely deaths through accidents and the lead actress Keiko Matsuzaka either dying, being institutionalized or becoming pregnant with a demon child
seriously, we should unionize
the relentless grind of regret production
Scatman John's "Scatman" except all the scat is replaced with breast
Fucc Boi Scouts Announce Historic Decision to Allow Dickgirls in Some Programs
Boy Scouts Announce Historic Decision to Allow Dickgirls in Some Programs
Boy Scouts Announce Historic Decision to Allow Girls in Some Programs
Kento Does Boston
Mr Ikeda Cums In Boston
a bee sea
bottoming for Beyonce in Large Cock Wife
Mr Ikeda Goes To Boston
Walrus Actually
Seven Kentos For Seven Walruses
Walrus Club
Meet Kento Ikeda
Gobusters
Ikedaphobia
Chris and Go's Excellent Adventure
No Kento For Old Men
Kento Got Fingered
Dude, Where's My Walrus
Sex, Kento and Videotape
The Cook, The Thief, The Podcaster and Kento
Being Kento Ikeda
Eiffeling Is Beautiful
Black Kento
Marvel's The Ikedas
One Flew Over The Kento's Nest
The Ikeda Sanction
The Ikeda File
Being Raoul tasting bottom
Being Raoul
tasting bottom
Scientists Inflated Dead Dolphin Penises to Fake Sex With Dead Dolphin Vaginas
Justice League to Be More Aggressive in Seeking No Stakes High Tension Plots
bottoming for Exapny Mapcase in Encrypted Data VII
rice rice noodles, barbecue rice rice noodles
getting rid of the last of that kick ass barbecue sauce instead of hanging on to it and having it with those rice noodles
President Trump to spend $five hundred million in public money to assemble task force to gather the best ONLY A GENIUS CAN SOLVE THIS Facebook memes
Trump proposes 'IQ tests' faceoff with Tillerson after secretary of state calls him a 'moron'
Justice Department to Be More Aggressive in Seeking Encrypted Data
#gerrimisseshismom
RIKER hints at the iceberg of sexual harassment still beneath the surface
#garymisseshismom
Your dad went bankrupt and gave you to a stranger in Vegas
Data hints at the iceberg of sexual harassment still beneath the surface
I knew you'd say that
#KeepOnSucking
Stephen King's The Langoliers to be remade as Stephen King's The Sky Vaginas
Of all the employees in the warehouse, he was the dumbest man we had
auto replace enabled as default
"You taste bottom in this business," Weinstein said at that Sundance BOISERIE
"You taste bottom in this business," Weinstein said at that Sundance panel
getting a serious looking face tattooed on one boob and a man's body in miniature beneath with a speech bubble on the other boob and the words "I'm a breast man myself" simply to commit to a very involved joke
fuck marry kill, butcher, baker, candlestick maker
fuck marry kill, cop, sailor, indian chief, construction worker, biker
wondering which barely scientific scifi world would be best to live in
the New York of the F#R#I#E#N#D#S# seems pretty sweet, with the giant ass affordable vermin free modern apartments and the abundance of great jobs
Horace Horsecollar
wondering which sitcom world would be the best to live in
fuck marry kill, Diane, Rebecca, Carla
Howard Lovecraft's chthonic xenophobia
your shrink ran off to Europe, and didn't even write, and your husband wants to be a girl
the sound of a grouse in the night
orbital HIV
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot
spades
space AIDS
Harvey Weinstein's chronic homophobia
a rewrite of a planned Star Trek Colon The Next Generation script featuring FULLY FUNCTIONAL gay characters and an AIDS metaphor
the thought of recycled skeletons
The Punisher but he talks like Boss Nass
The Punisher but he lost his wife when he told her he was going to "ruin her cat" and now he uses his gift for awful puns to fight crime singing his theme music pa rum pun pun pun, him and his puns
a rewrite of a planned Star Trek Colon The Next Generation script featuring gay characters and an AIDS metaphor
Google Dickgirl Orderer
Klono Imadeya
using a DNA database, it is possible to take information from a profile and manufacture DNA to match it, and that this can be done without access to any actual DNA from the person whose DNA they are duplicating
Harvey Weinstein's chronic hydrophobia
Say you're in Giant Italy, and you want to order your bread like a pro, All you have to do is hold down on the right earbud and say "Fee fi fo fum"
Google Nev R Prepare
Say you're in Little Italy, and you want to order your pasta like a pro, All you have to do is spend a few hours learning to speak basic Italian, or just polite English because you are still in an English speaking country where people will understand you
World Braces for Onslaught of Dumbass Americans Spending Ten Fucking Minutes Ordering in Restaurants Because They Can't Figure Out How to Make Their Headphones Tell Them How To Say "Large Sausage" in Italian
Say you're in Little Italy, and you want to order your pasta like a pro, All you have to do is hold down on the right earbud and say, "Help me speak Italian"
Harvey Weinstein's The Aristocrats
British Aristocrat Liza Campbell Says Harvey Weinstein Propositioned Her to 'Jump in the Bath' with Him
Ezekiel, XXIX, seventeen days away, first rate buckwheat, bully oats and potatoes, nice strong teeth, hoop skirt fetish, mild case of dysentery
first rate buckwheat farming
workin' my way through college ridin' a piano droppin' the coffee fuck yeah
Sinatra says go fuck yourself!
My buckwheat looks first rate, and the oats and potatoes are bully
Once or twice, during the experiment, Beauty will be awakened, interviewed, and put back to sleep with an amnesia inducing drug that makes her forget that awakening
Monty from Hell
Ignorant Monty
Angelic Monty
wanting to make Kento love PERMS for his birthday
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his arse for his birthday
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his ears for his birthday
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his chocolate starfish for his birthday
Rowan was a physics teacher as implied by the America Association of Physics Teachers
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his lemonade snake for his birthday
fuck marry kill, dead, asleep, dreaming
consolidation of authority
Man called Pride Cymru reveller 'a faggot' and punched him
wanting to make Kento love SPERM for his birthday
changing all instances of "Rowan North" on the Wikipedia article "Ghostbusters OPEN PARENTHESIS MMXVI film CLOSE PARENTHESIS to "Ryan North"
a tedious, show nothing ad for an iPhone we already know is inferior, featuring shitty intrusive dubstep which like the iPhone itself has already become a relic of a former dominant form now sidelined by parallel development, and you can't skip the ad
wanting to make Kento love eggs for his birthday
Chrissa, XX, one minute away, slight disability, doesn't like you, her friend doesn't like you either
Rachel, XXXIX, sixty nine minutes away, barely mobile, demands tribute of no fewer than two whole pork bellies per date, refuses to date anyone with a penis bigger than hers
Shoe, XXIX, O minutes away, totally not Kento, will supply own kimchi
Chantal, XXIV, four minutes away, dresses like Stevie Nicks, eats like Kirstie Ally, tells stories like Lena Dunham, sounds like Robert Stack in drag
I would bang Crystal
Kitty, XXII, fourteen minutes away, her youngest child is starting school this year, loves a man who can fix a couch, will settle for a mother figure slash apprenticeship
Crystal, XIX, thirty two minutes away, smells like onions, its glandular, she's medicating it with home remedies, believes some contentious things about the Middle East
Sasha, XVIII, nine minutes away, staying home because she's feeling down from her period, doesn't like her fringe, just wants a chat really, maybe about the last episode of Girls she saw but she's not caught up so no spoilers
deleting your cookies daily snd disallowing history in other apps as well as third party cookies, purely because targeted ads are never "here's a great place to eat" but "here's a data mining app to join for imaginary hookups with fictitious women"
A teenage Conservative Party activist says he is "devastated" and "living in fear" after he was allegedly 'innied' against his wishes by MaleOnline
on my credit card bill it said "Cleveland Stamos x I"
seeing an ad that promises you to "meet and hook girl in your area free"
A teenage Conservative Party activist says he is "devastated" and "living in fear" after he was allegedly 'outed' against his wishes by MaleOnline
A teenage Conservative Party activist says he is "devastated" and "living in fear" after he was allegedly 'outed' against his wishes by MailOnline
that looking back the judges seem to have been three fat guys and a brothel madam
when you were young and once a year they televised the regional beauty contest that fed into Miss England and so on and you just thought it was normal
in hindsight I don't know why I even wanted John Stamos
once ordering a gag from Eleanor and when it arrived it was a clown who immediately puked on the doormat and left
Potted plant files fifty million dollar paternity suit against Harvey Weinstein
Sivan says Weinstein ejaculated quickly into a potted plant that was in the vestibule and then proceeded to zip up his pants and they walked back into the kitchen
Mr Gay UK is a British annual beauty contest for gay men, with regional heats held in gay nightclubs with a grand final usually at a gay venue
But, instead she was met with audible groans and blatant disgust every time she walked in the door, which had to have been pretty damaging for young Kimmy
I'd ask Eleanor but I hear she has a gag order
wondering what the going rate for having Ashley Judd watch you shower for, say, ten minutes is
still to this day finding the way natiloids mate adorable
the poor guy can't even have dinner in a hotel restaurant because of the way he BEEES pudding FUCK
the poor guy can't even have dinner in a hotel restaurant because of the way he eats pudding
it's kind of amazing he hasn't slipped into the toilet and drowned already
that's why he needs shower supervision
he just never learned
actually, scratch that, cave trolls have better grooming habits
sometimes he looks like Ray Winstone is horribly allergic to bees
feeling like every picture of Harvey Weinstein should bear the caption "They have a cave troll!"
he put a nutsack on Gwyneth Paltrow years before that kind of thing was cool, and anticipated that in the future we would need to kick her in the nuts
signing your jelly related injury liability waiver form but never hearing back from Jelly & Milkshake, Inc, a subsidiary of GlaxoStarBangers LLC
Weinstein was appointed an honorary Commander of the Order of the British Empire in recognition of his contributions to the British film industry because apparently that's all it takes
the only cool conceit was that they could artificially lower the 'sea' level as part of the tidal mechanism and for cleaning, which was a really neat thing to imagine
that's why I know so much about cephalopod reproduction and anatomy
plus it just generally wasn't very good
it was very like that scene in Jurassic Cage where Laura Dern sticks her hand up one of Nicolas Cage's clone's butt and jerks him off from the inside
Michael Crichton would also have sued the crap out of me
once trying to write a story about a breeding program for rediscovered giant ammonites set in a sort of wilder Seagaia Ocean Dome artificial habitat, but abandoning it after it got weird and quite frankly blaming Japan for that
fuck marry kill, a cuttlefish, an octopus, a squid
a mash up of Eye Of The Tiger and Walk the Dinosaur, Eye Of The Tigersaur
fuck a cuttlefish
The vodka is excellent but the meat is lousy
a mash up of Eye Of The Tiger and Edge Of Seventeen, Seventeen Tigers
Pokemon Tejas and Jayhawk
screaming "JAY HAWKINS!" at Screamin' Jay Hawkins in Kansas
All III Billion Yahoo Accounts Were Affected by MMXIII Attack
I'mI'mI'mI'mI'mI'mI'mI'm HenryHenryHenryHenryHenryHenryHenryHenry thethethethethethethethe VIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIII IIIIIIII amamamamamamamam IIIIIIII amamamamamamamam
The "hack" is remarkably simple, Motherboard reports, because the smart dildo creates a Wi Fi access point with the easily guessed default password "VIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIII"
Thanks for using me, Throats
Walk by dildo hacking is the sexy end of the growing security risk posed by the internet of things
Thanks for using Hate, Storm
Thanks for using Steam, Thor
Pokemon Quiet and Respectful
By hour three in dude's car it got less fun
Miller's River Potato Monument
a cult of devil worshipers involved in the mutilation, sacrifice and cannibalism of numerous children
twice
getting a lick job from Ted Kennedy in La Brasserie
komrad
is not funny when a car spins around and speeds in the other direction
shooting John F Kennedy in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
Sharon Tate had an estimated hot carcass weight of seven hundred pounds at the time she harpooned by members of the Manson Family
penning webcomics
He also reportedly tried to molest a flight attendant in his judicial chambers
something something Fatworld something Roman Polanski something the largest mega minor
new audiences do not have the experience spoiled with any prior information about the play
creating webcomics
furiously ranking the largest mini major company, the smallest major company, and the largest mega minor company with both hands in the California Suite of the Peninsula Beverly Hills, this Sunday at eight in the evening
wondering how the largest mini major company, the smallest major company, and the largest mega minor company would rank in largeness
taking the largest mini major dump
TWC is one of the largest mini major film studios in North America
The Adventure Time comics were penned by webcomic creator Ryan North
he was the guy who came up with Adventure Time, right
an old dinosaur learning new ways
I can't comment on that due to pending litigation
fuck marry kill, Roger Ailes, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby
an individual who helps to better the Canadian comedy community
it's plain to see you remember me
Jumpin Jack Geldof
Joly Jackin Geldof
Haydrew Christfield
Joly Jackin
Bepe Kinglo
daytime television really taking a toll on your imagination
Fifty First Dates but the dates are all weird, awkward partnerships like Ben Kingsley and Hope Solo, Elly Jackson and John Astin, Hayden Christensen and Andrew Garfield, and so on
drawing a picture of Ben Kingsley and Hope Solo having an awkward first date
Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with obvious misinformation
clocking the T rex at less than twelve parsecs
clocking the T rex at forty rods to the hogshead
Kento Ikeda FGA, LhHC
clocking the T rex at fifty kilometres an hour
clocking the T rex at thirty miles an hour
'cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do, I'd still miss you, Willie, and I don't wanna miss a thing
I know you do, babe, I know you do
I Dream of Big Willie
All of the profiles featured were for individuals with jobs displayed as "MD, at the Hospital"
being on the Spider Man movies, then getting on up by a sex machine
being first got up, then getting up, then getting on up by a sex machine
being on the Spider Man movies but not being granted the rank of Avenger
emptying a sack of coal in a cul de sac
forgetting to make the bed, then forgetting you forgot to make the bed
going to school a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
Pokemon Slavers, Drunken Parties To Murder, Junkies, Bigots and People Who Believe Easily Falsifiable Pseudoscience
Wibiquilra O'Smilliden
fuck marry kill, Elizabeth Montgomery, Nicole Kidman, Phyllis Thaxter
Theresa May wears a bracelet of Marxist political icon Frida Kahlo and she nearly chokes to death
fuck marry kill, Will Smith, Robin Williams, Shaqille O'Neal, Barbara Eden
the War on Christmas ends in victory for the atheists
Santa Claus found dead BALLS DEEP in Turkey #YOLO
Santa Claus found dead in Turkey
The Dark Crystal, but the Dicksis are chasing down the Gilflings
bottoming for dickgirl Theresa May in XXX Downing Street X
there's still time, she's pretty desperate to keep her job
you owe me four minutes
I'm gonna be honest, I was expecting her to take off her clothes
EXPERIENCED GILF FUCKS EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN ONE DAY
eating The Asshole in a class of slavers, drunken parties to murder, junkies, bigots, and people who believe easily falsifiable pseudoscience
you're perfect, yes it's true
we skirt around the danger zone
at least it's an achievement of sorts
being The Asshole in a class of slavers, drunken parties to murder, junkies, bigots, and people who believe easily falsifiable pseudoscience
something cool against the skin is what you could be needing
being the middle aged guy who talks about as Springsteen might put it "glory days" a lot more than any other period of his life and suspecting this means that you are the asshole and have probably always been the asshole
the guy you knew at school who did really well for himself as a chef and even took over his dad's restaurant after his dad died, but who then turned out to be a slaver and spent four years in prison for it
being kind of relieved at his mother's funeral when you knew you'd likely never see him again
your parent's the
not really wanting anything to do with your friend after he got drunk at your parent's the and spent four hours berating them, you, and "Them", who you assume weren't giant radioactive ants, for denying that oil is an inexhaustible bacterial resource
apollo jism
that it was mostly the Roman Polanski apologist stance that really made you reconsider that acquaintanceship
Doctor Dickbutt
Former doc gets prison after botched butt, penis surgeries
the loudmouthed bass who became one of your wall's most resonant and hated animatronic characters
the loudmouthed buffoon who became one of TV's most resonant and beloved television characters and then President
the loudmouthed buffoon who became one of TV's most resonant and beloved television characters
T'vomy Manr, 'distinctively Armenian' rocker, dies aged LXVI
Partyman always ruins parties
all they have to do is clear the dead bodies away
By the end of the video it appears Partyman had poisoned the tank of fluid and all party goers are dead
Ancient Chimpanzee Astronauts
Twinkle Tush
Ancient chimpanzees genetically passed oral roberts to the earliest humans millions of years ago when our lineage split
that you feel ridiculous saying "ok google" and wish they would address the problem, making the phrase something more like "okeley dokely googlebuddy" or "derherrr okey doke googler herrr" or something
Apple Maps, for the anus but tending to get you poked in the eye
Google Maps, but for the anus
Google Play, but for the anus
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of pure water which has self ionized such that it contains slightly more hydronium ions than hydroxide ions to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of milk to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of carbonated drinks to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of vitamin C to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of vinegar to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of lemons to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of acids to under XVIIIs
This is a time for us to unite as a family, to focus on the fact that I'm stuck in the kitchen window trying to sneak back in
Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $XLVM for that doll
A small group or one man laid waste to a city with dedicated, fearless police officers desperately trying to help, because of access to an insane amount of firepower
Tom Petty, 'ditsy icicle TV Armenian' rocker, dies aged LXVI
Tom Petty, 'distinctively American' rocker, dies aged LXVI
Googlo oss
Ancient chimpanzees genetically passed oral herpes to the earliest humans millions of years ago when our lineage split
okay Ass, lube me up
okay Ass
Google Ass
google glass, but for the anus
googly eyes, but for the anus
there ate or there eats
breaking your spine in a bra
ur dyslexia larping youf
Tom Potto, Shire pipeweed grower
your dyslexia larfing up
tho dooth of Tom Potto
the death of Tom Potty
always imagining Kento to be a Kraft tube
always imagining Kento to be a butt freak
fuck marry kill, wallis simpson, oj simpson, lisa simpson
there is or there are
wallis simpson naked pictures
oj simpson naked pictures
lisa simpson naked pictures
there was there was
wondering how much discussion there was to find a name for sea cucumber butt spines there was before they just settled on anal teeth
www dot summonanevenlargerman dot com
the death of Tom Petty
Baltimeeth
anal teeth
some sea cucumbers that have these kind of spines around the anus called anal teeth
the YouTube app but it's not fucking garbage and lets you filter out ads and spam instead of laboriously scrolling past them
ashley simpson puked pictures
ashley simpson nuked pictures
DinoTendies
Kentrocity
searching instead of entering a regret
ashley simpson naked pictures
playing Planescape Colon Torment for the first time in like fifteen years
something something pennisfemales
searching up dick stuff as you do and getting the suggestions "minimum size of pennis to satisfy a woman", "are breasts an organ", and "female organ pictures"
Hung Sheldon
Juan Baptista dos Santos
Young Sheldon
bocomong o bookoopor
bee cumming a beekeeper
becoming a beekeeper
wondering what motivates one to FUCK! not just one but thousands of BEEEES
Trump dedicates embezzled federal funds to horrible family anf opprobrious companions
Trump dedicates golf win to hurricane victims
wondering what motivates one to fuck not just one but thousands of flutes
Kento 'Cum Behemoth Titan I' Ikeda
Kento 'Onetime Cum Bath Hit' Ikeda
he can completely envelop a doorknob with his foreskin
Pokemon Art and Pornography
fill out Eleanor's form and pay the processing fee
Look, if you were just show me on skype I wouldn't have to ask
They then asked me to describe my body hair
Kento 'Hot Time Tub Machine' Ikeda
Maggie Gyllenhaal 'Colon Pornography is a fart norm'
god dammit, Eleanor
'Maggie Gyllenhaal Colon Pornography is an art' form
'Maggie Gyllenhaal Colon Pornography is an art form'
Maggie Gyllenhaal 'Colon Pornography is an art form'
wondering if Billy Ocean is regret index rachel
wondering if Nicole Ritchie is regret index rachel
wondering if Richie Rich is regret index rachel
wondering if Rachel, mother of Joseph and Benjamin, is regret index rachel
getting Lydon sauce all round your mouth and down your chin and a little bit on your thighs and some in your hair and a streak over your shoulder with some spattered on your xhest and a thick blob across the bridge of your nose you fat gay Asian bitch
wondering what's wrong with jizzing on thousands of flutes and distributing them to ten year olds #kinkshaming
OC parents worry about kid's health amid investigation into flutes possibly containing bodily fluids
Flutes stained with bodily fluids distributed to southern California elementary schools
Multiple California School Districts Warn Flutes Could Be Tainted With Semen
Schools warn flutes could be tainted with semen
Teacher arrested for allegedly contaminating THOUSANDS of flutes given to California schoolchildren with his SEMEN
wondering if Rachel Riley is regret index rachel
drawing a picture of Rachel Riley wrestling with the Monty Hall Problem
the death of Monty Hall
Math teacher investigated for allegedly contaminating students' naive sets with semen, solve for x
Music teacher investigated for allegedly contaminating students' flutes with semen
Jack Black's Minecraft audio herpes
Jack Black's Minecraft audio book
Maggie Gyllenhaal Colon 'Pornography is an art form'
taking the hugest FULLY FUNCTIONAL dump on Patrick Stewart's chest
taking the hugest dump on Patrick Stewart's chest
getting Byron sauce all round your mouth and down your chin and a little bit on your thighs and some in your hair and a streak over your shoulder with some spattered on your xhest and a thick blob across the bridge of your nose you dirty bitch
innovativex "heavier eve rapists" including electric shocks and pumping ammonia into offenders' asses via anal clan nouns
The CUDDLES
The Orville
innovativex "aversive therapies" including electric shocks and pumping ammonia into offenders' noses via nasal cannulas
really wishing somebody from the paralle universe where the Beatles Lord of the Rings movie was made would stop by and give a brief review because it sounds like it just might be the worst thing ever
Rosie Cotton weighed over forty bushels by the reckoning of Gondor, or sixty bushels by the customary reckoning of the Shire
Extra Extra Extra Large Earth
not being sure that the suzerain certainty of FanMM should be contrasted with the eccentricity of a slightly barmy academic mostly crapping out fiction to give himself an excuse to write more languages only nerds with too much free time would ever learn
writing "theories" regarding a fictional universe of your own creation
drawing a picture of JRR Tolkien furiously theorizing about elves
in the same text he theorizes that some Orcs may have been Elves, who then mated with these beasts and with Men
question your sexuality
fuck marry kill, The red Mt Fuji made of Miyazaki Wagyu, a meaty sphincter of vat grown purpose dedicated flesh, your number one celebrity crush but only for procreation in a zombie apocalypse scenario
Dad Daddy Two Daddies Long Distance Daddies Geldof
taking a dump so huge yet so curiously pleasing that you begin to question your sexuality
The red Mt Fuji made of Miyazaki Wagyu
Twin Long Distance Daddies #Two
Grans who put you to bed and tell you not to believe in ghosts, Or maybe it's dad who tucks you up, Dad, Daddy, Two daddies, Long distance daddies
building the gayest shit
that from now on you will refer to defecating as "building a shit"
after Aragorn's death Legolas built a gay shit and left Middle earth to go to Valinor, and that Gimli went with him
after Aragorn's death Legolas built a grey ship and left Middle earth to go to Valinor, and that Gimli went with him
we didn't write a Die Hard
John McClane, blown up planes, what else do I have to name
even lifelong virgins worry about std's
fuck marry kill, John McClane, John McCain, Michael Caine
being disappointed that the three letter code for Star Trek Colon Discovery is DIS and not STD
Gay couple will no longer appear in John McClane's TV ad after homophobic abuse
Gay couple will no longer appear in John McCain's TV ad after homophobic abuse
Gay couple will no longer appear in McCain's TV ad after homophobic abuse
the nineteen sixty three Pontiac Tempest
T'Kuvma
an island surrounded by big water
I got no more use for dis guy
no self respecting Southerner uses instant grits
when I find myself in times of trouble, Mitterrand comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "L'Abeille et l'architect"
If you can't treat someone with dignity and respect, then you need to get out
when I find myself in times of trouble, Ayn Rand comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, " "
accidentally implying that Michael Jackson had sex with his hot wife
when I find myself in times of trouble, Michael Jackson comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "eeh HEE! Ow! Shamon chucka chucka eeeh hee mngbapmngbapmngbap dukka eeh heee"
dang ol dingledongers
when I find myself in times of trouble, Mithrand comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "none shall pass"
this is no way to run an ophthalmology department
you'll probably get struck off, especially if you keep shooting your patients in the eye with that bb gun
except for your med school exams
two out of three ain't bad, though
you're not his daughter
accidentally implying that Jackson C Frank got shot in the eye by his hot daughter
rainbow kids rude programme
Kentoptilos makes me feel good
Kentoptilos gobustus
Kentoptilos robustus
Leptoptilos robustus
bottoming for Old Took in Fallohide Your Sackville Baggins
there's a little Fallohide in every Sackville Baggins
I refuse to answer, I'm strictly a Sackville Bagginses man
fuck marry kill, Harfoots, Stoors, Fallohides
fuck marry kill, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, Jesse "The Body" Ventura
bottoming for Jane Fondler and Rubbit Redraw in Arseholes At Night
when I find myself in times of trouble, Mithrandir comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "none shall pass"
plans for the film came to nothing because Tolkien didn't want the Beatles in the film
Remo learns such skills as dodging bullets, running on water and wet cement
Cartoonist Uncle Sam Beasley, revived from cryogenic sleep and armed with an animatronic eye and hand
fuck marry kill, wikipedia's furry rabbit hole, Bilbo's hobbit hole, Kento's k hole
the thing to remember is that if you're offered a Glasgow Kiss you should politely decline, and perhaps forfeit your brown fried goods in recompense, if you have any
going up to Bigg Market with Tosche to pick up some power converters
getting a mediacityuk from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Marylebone Station
Bigg Market is famed for its chest shitting displays
getting a Bigg Market from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind mediacityuk
wondering if people shit on each other's chests a lot there, too
getting a Marylebone Station from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Bigg Market
we've also got a Cleveland
What's In A Manacled Elf
What's In A Candle Flame
Cleveland Steamer steamers are the worst
wondering if cities and regions of the UK have traditional sex acts associated with them as in the US, such as the Cleveland Steamer steamer or the Alabama hot pocket
Piledriving Miss Daisy would cause damage to a woman's ovaries
Driving Miss Daisy would cause damage to a woman's ovaries
Driving would cause damage to a woman's ovaries
meek galactic ripsaw
sick wet magical rape capitalism
sick wet magical rape
wreckage capitalism
how many death sticks Due Deathner would deal if Due Deathner could deal death sticks
Due Deathner, death stick dealer
listening to Hyce Dallas Blowhard
brewing Dyce Dallas Howard
wishing you'd early adopted Twitter, with a weakly amusing joke account or series of such until one of them took, got a book deal and got on with being zzy list like all the other Twitter accounts that aren't Stephen Fry
once following a joke historical account on Twitter because the operator was drunk and funny, but subsequently never amused you and seemed to be more interested in whining about all the people they'd unfollowed for not following back than in witticism
Foods known to reduce flatulence include fish, rice, dairy products, fish and strained fruit juice
wishing that Twitter had some kind of contingent follow, like if someone follows you and you follow them back but then they later unfollow you, you will automatically unfollow them as well
The sheets in the mansion were stained
a crossover sequel to Children Of Men and Junior, Get To The Stirrups
the huff of Due Deathner
the death of Hugh Hefner
The United Kingdom, one of the very few stable nations with a functioning government, is deluged by asylum seekers fleeing the chaos and war which have taken hold around the world
Even lighthearted comedies such as Bee Movie, Bridesmaids and The Simpsons can trigger the water works in passengers who would normally remain dry eyed if watching these on the ground
bottoming for Mason Jar Williams in Classical Ass VII
a parody of Tubular Bells, Tibanna Bells
diddly diddly doo dum diddly diddly doo
makin' my way across town ridin' a piano shoutin' 'bout walruses fuck yeah
pricing Bryce Dallas Howard
Classical Gas but instead of the riff everybody remembers it's the cantina song from Star Wars again played on guitar
Billy Dee Williams' less successful brother, Mason
loving Billy Dee Williams but Billy Dee is not my lover, he's just a guy who says that I am the one, who's going to spunk inside his bum
loving Billy Dee Williams but god damn if he doesn't make everything he says sound like he's struggling to read it from an especially small print script
editing Lando's words so that he says "you've gotta cum in my guts a lot after I pull you through gritted teeth"
editing Lando's words so that he says "you've gotta cum in my guts a lot after I pull you" through gritted teeth
The complete act took, the coach testified, "No more than fifteen seconds"
John Williams' less successful brother, Mason
maybe if it was just a soundbent loop of Lando saying "you got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled"
thinking a parody of Classical Gas called Tibanna Gas would be funny then realizing it doesn't have any lyrics
tibanna gas, I assume
mining Dickgirl Fatso's tibanna gas, if you know what I mine
mining Dickgirl Fatso's tibanna gas, if you know what I mean
Dickgirl Fatso, tibanna gas miner
voting Dickgirl Fatso in Twenty Twenty
Kushner registered in New York as a dickgirl voter
Kim Dong Kushner
Kim Jong Kushner
Kim Kushner
Kushner registered in New York as a female voter
biowang
biotwang
doing Bryce Dallas Howard
a crossover sequel to When Harry Met Sally, Harry Potter, Saving Private Ryan and Bums, When Accio Bum Saved Dumbledore
When John Cena breaks up with Tiffany he becomes very depressed and gets kicked out of his house and joins a group of hobos
a crossover sequel to Harry Potter, Saving Private Ryan, and Dumb and Dumber, Snaping Private Dumb and Dumbledore
Rename Humpback Whales to Humpy Boys!!!
a crossover sequel to Harry Potter and Saving Private Ryan, Snaping Private Dumbledore
I Asked Tinder For My Data, It Took A Dump On My Chest
ROBBERS crack KISSER clown HOT POCKET in death of Florida woman
Cops crack killer clown cold case in death of Florida woman
going clown to the river
walling up walruses in Russia
Pokemon Priapism and Insomnia
writing readies instead of reading
readies about furries on wikipedia and seeing a blue link for "plushophilia" and deciding to just stay away from any wikis for a while
coming up suddenly, did find me imbracing the girl con my hand sub su coats, and endeed I was with my main in her cunny
The Pope can't stop masturbating in church
drawing a picture of Kevin Clash bandaging up his rubbed raw pinky finger after a particularly long sermon
Elmo can't stop masturbating in church
The Pope was tricked into dating Leonardo DiCaprio
at least use the bathroom, Samuel
Samuel Pepys can't stop masturbating in church
my foot hurt too, but I served anyway
A bear was tricked into dating Leonardo DiCaprio
The Pope was tricked into shitting in the Vatican
guzzling goslings with Donald Duck
Ariel Winter "Pegging" Boyfriend To Get Her Pregnant "ASAP"
Ariel Winter "Begging" Boyfriend To Get Her Pregnant "ASAP" Is Made Up
Ariel Winter "Begging" Boyfriend To Get Her Pregnant "ASAP"
fromidable!
Since Weird Butt Stuff Colon The Movie , women are more liberated and are able to infantilize their own lives in return for disturbing relationships from men who are more likely to be diseased sexually and are in turn infantile and unrealistic about life
Since Fifty Shades of Grey, women are more liberated and are able to express these demands
Donald Trump was tricked into an angry public outburst
BatLabels
greedily cannibalising Ryan with Ryan Gosling
Chicken Supreme Court has option to duck travel swan ruling
Harambe, blown away, what else do I have to say
fuck marry kill, Wedge, Biggs, Porkins
wondering why anyone would ban ducks from traveling
Supreme Court has option to duck travel ban ruling
using the word "rifletastic"
signed, Crying Hayden Christensen
real talk, I'd take MMXVII Rachel Bilson over the crushing emptiness of life alone in your late thirties any day
tired of his shit
she's just tired
real talk, Rachel Bilson's face is fucking messed up
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the chimpanzee out of a zoo trope
tricking a primate into shooting another primate
shooting her left one until she had a dead gorilla
killing the Cincinatti gorillas
wondering if Rachel Bilson will end up with Jake Lloyd and regret index rachel will end up with Hayden Christensen
wondering if Rachel Bilson is regret index rachel
that's face down, ass up, Porkins
setting tits in sofa calk position
humming vibration was produced when air flowed over the cilia in a male's inflated neck pouch
Myke Fuckerbee
Mark Fuckerbee
Facebook but every face is a fuck and every book is a bee and every time someone posts racist memes or gets in an argument with a relative or friend of a friend the ad revenue dips
BF Skinner, I hardly know 'er!
fucking skinny bees with BF Skinner
bottoming for Railer Swift in Look Who You Made Me Do VII
Teardrops and Facefucks
Taylor Swift and Adam Levine's album of duets about Eiffel Towering Kento
kind of wanting Taylor Swift and Adam Levine to start dating just for the deluge of shitty self pitying bullshit songs their inevitable breakup would undoubtedly produce
wondering how many songs there are about two people in a long term relationship who don't fuck each other and stalk each other and do all the high school drama shit
wondering how many songs there are about two people in a long term relationship who don't fuck each other over and don't stalk each other and don't do all the high school drama shit
swampdonkeyeing bulls in your Tsixteen
The man who dies thus rich dies disgraced
a guy who's high on drugs stalking someone's girlfriend on the Tube
I walk into an empty room, suddenly my heart goes boo urns
Stacey's bee has got it going fuck
Stacey's Dong
Stacey's mom has got a giant dong, it's so fat and, oh, it's so long, Stacey can't you see, your mom stands to take a pee, I know it's really wrong, but I'm in love with your mom's dong
imagining the song "Kento's dad is such a fuckin' fag" sung to the tune of Stacey's Mom
bullseyeing swampdonkeys in your T sixteen
draining the wanky mopeds
draining the swamp donkey
a boy so learned, that, had he ruled, he would have as a learned man
My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner, even though the au pair we had was a real swamp donkey and my wife still thought I wanted to cheat
My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner, and my much younger wife and I are horrified
My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner
fuck marry kill, Dave Grohl, David Letterman, Dangerous Dave
I can't do that, Dave
fuck marry kill, Alvin, Simon, Theodore
learning to use a food processor after years of working with different machinery
Rafael Martinez Jr in New Jersey allegedly had sexual intercourse with the unidentified XV year old girl for more than a year at his home
they're going to have to eat something
wondering why a Canadian antianorexia charity would need a dick in its logo
'Maybe Eat, Eh' production company on global hunt to find dick artist
'Maya the BEEEEEE' production company on global hunt to FUCK! dick artist
'Maya the Bee' production company on global hunt to find dick artist
seeing an ad that you truly have no fucking idea what it's trying to say
People got their local newspapers for next to nothing in exchange for allowing girdle ads to infiltrate their brains
Battlegrounds on II pcs at the same time
BARH
Felch Township, Michigan
I don't drink covfefe
PUBG
I have a very plastic sex unit erection
abhoring a whore in Bora Bora
Kientau
Kentochthonic humor
Watch Every Episode of Saved By the Bell For a Chance to Pour Boiling Hot Lobster Bisque on Dustin Diamond's Crotch!
I have no frame of reference for a coffee can
getting your bacon in suitcases and your bread in individually wrapped slices
The Curious Cans of Chris Coffee
I don't drink coffee
getting your coffee in cans instead of bags
ChodeWorld
I'm thinking like a coffee can, basically
I would rather not, he keeps trying to get me to eat doughnuts on Skype
I'd assume that fatworld dickgirl dicks are normal length but like five times the girth
you'd have to ask FanMM about that
wondering whether fatworld dickgirls are so corpulent they couldn't see their erections anyway assuming that thheir hearts could take the strain or whether fatworld and dickgirl physics come jointly into play and they gleefully wave around colossal wangs
Yuge Luther
Trump touts 'Big Luther's' doubleplusgood at Alabama rally
now knowing what Donald Trumo nicknamed his penis
Trump touts 'Big Luther's' loyalty, electability at Alabama rally
a viral video to kiss all viral videos
a viral video to kill all viral videos
joyless sex loveless marriage unsuccessful attempt to kill, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Garner
I have very unrealistic expectations
you couldn't afford me
see, everyone's doing it, why not give it a try
Weiner convinced teen to strip, fondle herself on Skype colon feds
Perry Como, you're not our homo!
James Comey, you're not our homie!
Rachel's Green
Piddler's Green
Diddler's Green
They are attacked by zombies while Tracy repairs the vehicle with the assistance of a deaf Amish man named Samuel
Fiddler's Green
Fignatious Huffnuckle's Disciplinary Belt Buckle
Brexit was a stunt that went so badly wrong the country is now a burning car, sliding along on its roof, heading for the crowd
digger please, that's my ditch
gansta archeology
swans strike again
four anus steel bar pierces worker's shoulder, pops out of his foot
four foot steel bar pierces worker's anus, pops out of his shoulder
Nude Sneerson, Boonta Eve Podrace snack vendor
unprecedented nude sneer son one has never heard from any of his predecessors
unprecedented rude nonsense one has never heard from any of his predecessors
TfL concluded the ride hailing app firm was not fit and proper to hold a private hire operator licence
Barely a dozen shoppers queue at Apple's flagship London store, says online newspaper which makes money selling ad space to internet retailers
'Boys brag' Colon Police say art teacher had sex with four students
Chlifford Chelebrates Chanukkah
Clifford Becomes A Man
Clifford Gets Circumcised
Clifford Celebrates Hanukkah
Oscar the Groupon
arguing over the cost of your dumpster sexual services with Leonardo DiCaprio and Oscar the Grouch
arguing over the cost of your bathroom sexual services with John Hagelin
arguing over the cost of your sexual services with John Hagelin
Hagelin said that while the number of murders had increased, the number of brutal murders had decreased
those puppies of women probably lick themselves
being unable to stay mad at puppies of women
those puppies of women probably like themselves
those sons of bitches probably like themselves
goddamn youth element
wondering why cold brew fans would be worried about a little risk of botulism, given their penchant for leaving moist foodstuffs sitting around for protracted periods while they ride around junk shops looking for authentic old crap to hide in their beards
Netflix yanks a kid's huge penis after finding a hidden episode of show
fuck marry kill, dickgirl Maya the Bee, Pedro Pony, Clifford the Big Red Dog
honestly wondering what kind of person the makers of Death Wish coffee are aiming for, because you doubt that a very high percentage of cold brew coffee drinkers want their cofee TO THE EXXXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Netflix yanks episode of kids' show after finding a huge hidden penis
Kento's elaborate parody of the Jackson's "Scream" music video wherein he plays the parts of both Kento and Kenta Ikeda and the chorus is "keep Eiffelin' me, just keep Eiffelin' me, makes me wanna scream" as he floats around being octuple Eiffel Towered
"Dirt Whisk, Eh" Coffee Recalled Over Possible Data, Eh
"Death Wish" Coffee Recalled Over Possible Death Risk
drawing a picture of Larry Page being Eiffel Towered by Andre MMM and Big Boi
wondering what OutKast did to get YouTube to automatically suggest 'Hey Ya' after literally any other song that has ever charted
every morning I had their flicks and gleets to look forward to, their asses pumping farts in my general direction as I silently gazed out the window
Nambia
we could duplicate him somehow
I seriously doubt there is anyone that dumb on the planet
tricking a person into dating Kento
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of ALF
never really understanding why a tyre company went around rating food, and understanding even less why anybody listened to them
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of ALI
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of Frasier
you know me all too well
you thought I was going to say "it's hard to grasp," didn't you
it's quite a tusk
wondering how a walrus could possibly put a plushie on a desk
it was a very limited run
true story, a walrus bought them all and left them on every desk in his classroom
wondering what percentage of Ryan plushies ended up someone's butt
you keep coming back for it
yes dead air
the Ryan plushies sold gangbusters
I never thought I'd get rich doing it, I just wanted to put out something pointless and see if anybody would buy it, like say Ryan North plushies or tshirts with writing that isn't all that clever on
there would be like tge rhythm of the ambient audio through several hours, maybe even things like open fire or you know aspirational crap
so you're basically selling dead air
having a concept for an audio book series in which you actually read the book in real time, just not out loud, and offer the resulting audio unedited for sale, but not living anywhere quiet enough to do it even if you still had the means to record it
a scene which takes place in Tanis in a living room would be recorded in an actual living room
not remembering how vital that final knocking back is when Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
voler Sebastien Bras a partir de commune de Laguiole
not remembering how vital that final knocking back is when making bread
tubgirl balls
tubular bells
Man gets his penis stuck inside a dumbbell plate
Phoebe Buffett says Dow will top one million in the next one hundred years
Warren Buffett says Dow will top one million in the next one hundred years, promises his thralldom to the otherworldly horror Gal Athgoz will allow him to live at least ten times that long
The codes were issued using an algorithm generating more than two quintillion combinations of letters and numbers in order to generate highly secure barcodes
Kento's COBBLEKNOCKERS Tourette's by BUMFANGLE CUNNYWANGER proxy
just thinking callbacks are funny
wondering how you knew my name is Jan
wondering what's got you so into nut biting lately
You Don't Have to Be a Whore to Celebrate Hashish, Jan
drawing a picture of Kento retching up a frozen corn cob while Frosty the Snowman screams in agony and the Nutcracker bites his nuts
You Don't Have to Be Jewish to Celebrate Rosh Hashana
saved Kento's life many a time
the icy penis gag reflex
the icy boobs reflex
Dobby is a house elf played by Buzz Aldrin
having never seen or read any of the Harrys Potter but feeling a duty to joke about them
he gently clamps his hand over her mouth and whispers in her ear, "Sorry for the herpes"
the icy penis reflex
mensurating
I'm gonna be real with you, I don't know jack shit about Harry Potter past the first movie, other than the Snape kills Dumbledore thing
Harry Potter but Dobby has a lucid moment upon receipt of a used sock from the bedroom of a teenage boy
a proposition which would reverse the result of the civil war
Stalag fiction
prison bitch
seriously though if he slipped something into the divorce papers like "I am supposed to be a master of our own home but in practice have a lower rank" or "house is constantly filling up with sand and she thinks it's fine" I'd be his bitch
thinking about Hayden Christensen a lot, but in what you hope is a more affectionately ironic way, like the way the Full House Reviewed guy thinks about Full House
writing the regret "Hayden Christensen is reportedly single again" and not even thinking about how Rachel Bilson must also be single again, assuming no third party involvement
Hayden Christensen is reportedly single again
William the Conqueror was before Richard the Third
fuck marry kill, Craig David, Craig Charles, Larry David
filthy experiences
Paula Radcliffe Sought As 'Person Of Interest' by Colonrado Police
bottoming for Billy Big Baculum in The Straight One
Police Search For 'Mad Pooper' Who Dumps And Runs
yarr spin me right round baby right round like a pirate baby yo ho ho ho
Es mejor que no le digamos de lo que estabamos hablando, no lo entenderia
Craig David once met a girl on Monday, took her for a drink on Tuesday, hunted her for sport on Wednesday, and spent Thursday and Friday cleaning the carcass before curing the remains over the weekend
Craig David will hunt you for sport simply because you dared attract his attention
Craig David has been named the "most dangerous" celebrity to search online in the UK
Debt is a huge emotional burden for people
The Guardian view on the grundle tube bomb colon keep calm and carry on
Playing for the Grundle Kings, Bokai began his career in the Major Leagues at shortstop, his rookie year being twenty fifteen
Grundle, Ontario
Grundle Calling
Grundle swings like a pendulum do
Comedians in Cars Getting Covfefe
covfefe with ethicists
Grundle Fashion Week
Grundle Underground
the UK but every reference to London is changed to Grundle
that the very idea of Time Travelling Hitler changing the future is considered ridiculous, indicating that Hitler has already begun his sinister machinations and nobody turned up to Stephen Hawking's party because Hitler already killed all the good guys
that ethicists worry about the implications of travelling back in time to assassinate Hitler, but nobody worries about Time Travelling Hitler coming forward to change the future to his own liking
wondering if you're criticising the new regrets one by one to stop the future of the 'dex, Hitler
Some LXXXVI% of cars are now bought on PCP
believing that Mshindi exists, and that he is a very good gorilla, but not believing that he was capable of preventing the death spiral of reality
fifteen months, we can either split the difference or watch me struggle on under the weight of a dead gorilla meme until the end of November
yeah it was forty nine times
forty nine times
bursting wursts in a Best Western
Fat Kid Mendoza
wondering if you're going through all the old regrets one by one to learn the history of the 'dex
directly naming Kento as the First Deplorable Hillary
Cincinnati Zoo welcomes new gorilla one year after the death of Harambe
wondering why big red dogs hold such great appeal for humans that, say, big red cats don't
directly naming Kento as the First Deplorable, Hillary
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later
the one where someone offers a weak defense of an illogical position, unaware that this mediocrity would lead directly to the death of Harambe and the madness his absence unleashed upon us all
that whole run of politically quaint by modern standards, eerily foreboding, and dickgirl regrets just before and after sixteen thousand
getting the "don't join ISIS" ads, because Google clearly knows you better than you know yourself
that one of rachel's best friends is a moderately famous movie star and softcore lesbian
glowing in a net with Chloe Annett
Bai Ling's happiness
Myke Hawke's happiness
being suddenly smitten with Indira Joshi
it'd be improved
hot cunt dancing, wow
watching Countdown
mowin makes me feel good
I ain't afraid of no grass
peeling an appealing ape
pissing on the customers in a brothel toilets until their skin comes off with John Peel
unisex salmon
being in the Elite Four but not receiving the rank of master
Masters who reviewed the video game said the Pokemon Spelled the Wrong Words and Gesticulated Gibberish
Experts who reviewed the video said the interpreter spelled the wrong words and gesticulated gibberish
Kento's cloaca being regretted by just forty % of respondents
urbnadcotiayrn not yet having a definition for "bombing the tube"
I ain't no grass
how do you know he's not a vampire
responding to the headline "Could CCTV footage show the Parsons Green tube bomber" with the thought "he's not a fucking vampire for fuck's sake" and this kind of groaning snorting despairing noise
moisture farming all my life and not a drop spilt
What all pizza will be like after Brexit
Justin Bieber trusting beavers, eh
He ate a piece of cake and died in his sleep
Third Reich school textbooks included arithmetic problems on how much it would cost to care for a person with a disability for a lifetime
the trust fund had enabled him to save Pope Benedict XVI from attempted poisoning by the Sicilian Colombian drug mafia, thanks to a tip off from the Chinese secret service
smelling spades with Ellen Page
realising weeks later that "more poutine than man, now" would have been much funnier
fuck marry kill, Marlon Brando, Marlon Wayans, a marlin
drawing a picture of Marlon Brando being Eiffel Towered by Nelson de la Rosa and Temuera Morrison
Brando absolutely fell in love with this guy
being a big man in the hardcore gay porn world
it's almost worth going back to television
no joke, I used to get five minute unskippable ads on youtube
a thirty second ad for Coca Cola that you can't even skip
sucking her left one until she had Iran nightie
sucking her left one until she had a right innie
BEEcat GoldFUCK
they're struggling to get Cotton Yancy back and the whole thing is up in the air
wondering when they're going to release the second entry in the Battlecreek extended cinematic universe, otherwise known as the Creekverse
smelling Helena Bonham Carter's bum in Carthage
the cycle of sexual violence
Man charged over cycle bottom slapping sex attacks
writig regreds wid a bock doze
regrets that are only funny ig Bobcat Goldthwaite says them
Eustace L Iftingdrinks
the brief freedom between waking up and moving your head to any position other than horizontal recumbence, at which point the snot must flow
seeing a singles profile for a "wwf" and thinking Santa with muscles
Every bit as lazily offensive as its cast and concept would suggest
seeing a singles profile for a "dwf" and thinking dwarf
You stole nifty frizzling kids!
stealing that guy's fizzy lifting drink from the communal chocolate factory
Rob Reiner's no brainer mop strainer
You stole fizzy lifting drinks!
There was a time when breakfast telly, with its bland yet jolly presenters, terrible sweaters and sunshiney motifs, was about easing viewers into the day
everybodBEE needs somebody to FUUUUUUCKKK!
Everyone told me not to FUCK! on that beeeeeee
SomeBODY once told me the beach was gonna stroll me
Everyone told me not to stroll on that beach
Gotta poo at the house, here we go, let's leave
Gonna pay by blood, I'm gonna see it get nasty
greasing up everything pup
greasing up everything up
The secretary of agriculture, summoned to advise the quadruped giant president, suggests they grease up everything up with peanut butter
The secretary of agriculture, summoned to advise the quadrupled chinned president, suggests they grease up everything up with butter
wondering how much of an evolutionary benefit blocking up your sinuses with mucus at the slightest provocation actually is
fuck marry kill, Rebecca Black but she really wants to talk about teen twentysomething stuff and isn't particularly experienced, Winona Ryder but she's kind of deaf and a little bitter, Scarlett Johannson but she's a fully realized human being, with gas
shows that only have eight episodes about pony blowing
Eleanor is a monster
sucking his Fatone until he had a joegasm
Twin Fat Ones #Two
fuck marry kill, Joey Fatone, Joey Longone, Joey Smalloneconsideratelovertho
Pokemon Joey Fatone and Jaleel White
fuck marry kill, Rebecca Black, Jaleel White, Earl Grey
stopping to think about how every human who ever saw the night sky saw the same moron you do when you look in a mirror
Friday, as performed by Bob Dylan
oui oui oui tres excitement
stopping to think about how every human who ever saw the night sky saw the same moon you do when you look up
we we we so excited
that's not true, I'm somewhere
you're not anywhere
I'm not anyone
Kento Ikeda, writer director star and producer of Eragon
that you like your women like you like your coffee,, Black and with a dick
Dickgirl Rebecca Black
once you go Black you never go back
lining up a zinger about Rebecca Black and celebrity but having to concede that she's doin' OK
having to cancel Thanksgiving at your house because you had hyperpriapism
moving Rebecca Black to the top of your Celebrities You Want to Bang list
I try not to be
you're obviously not Kento
being kind of glad you turned down that particular opportunity to be buggered senseless by an old friend while his hot girlfriend watched until she got bored
the only couple who ever tried to involve you in a threesome having split up, with her disappearing and him suddenly becoming a raging, militant homosexual and presumably much happier
tricking a straight guy into hooking up with this girl l met on the internet
State Department announces chicken nugget embargo on Holy See
Vatican diplomat to Washington recalled because of child porn investigation
Doot Coko, Sith lord
you're the Doot Coko of evil
you're the Diet Coke of evil
Legs & Co
being a baked Alaska in Alaska while baked
Jockoo O
wondering if they called him Jackson C Frank because he was really good at hand jobs
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal shot in the eye from a pellet gun
He said the lyrics of the refrain were originally "get off my lawn you undocumented bastard" rather than "thank you"
Eleven year old Frank gets his wife to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets dings out of your car too if you want
DC strip clubs are handing out coupons for chicken wings to lure kids
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump, coupon for free chicken wings at any DC strip club of his choosing
Eleven year old MEROVINGIAN gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump
Dew Dork Tiggerwillies Geldof
Roman Polanski attempts to order "one million piece Chicken McNuggets" at McDonald's
Sick paedophiles are pretending to be chicken nuggets online to lure kids
The only difference is that a DO receives extra hours on bone manipulation
paying your New Jersey Board of Medical Examiners license renewal fee in cocaine
he gets paid in cocaine, he doesn't mind
wondering what it's like for Bruce Springsteen's doctor to get that four am call explaining that "Mr Springsteen has got fish eggs in his lungs again"
bleached Alaska
eating a baked Alaska in Alaska while baked
also the song about the bedwetting pyromaniac pedophile
fanstically
liking Springsteen in general but always finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that a fanstically wealthy man would sing blue collar elegies then go home to his enormous mansion and snort a potent mix of cocaine and caviar out of a hooker's cunt
Dia, daughter of Deioneus or Eioneus
"My wife, Mary Helen, and I have a Masters in Disaster," says Cedar Seeger
Ding Dong Dairylea on rye, the Hostess branded "health" snack
He said the lyrics of the refrain were originally "fuck that guy" rather than "glory days"
god I hate that guy, in the wink of a young girl's eye
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks But all he kept talking about was his Ivy League sports scholarship twenty year professional pitching career million dollar endorsement deals beautiful wife kids and homes and his string of smart investments
rejected lyrics from Bruce Springsteen's "The River"
Diadi Tiggestwillies
I just tossed her in the river and all my troubles went with her
Bigger Willie Style
fuck marry kill, Jackie O, Jackie Gleason, the Jerky Boys
handling salmon in suspicious circumstances
discovering that Raymond Briggs, who you are sure had been dead for a while by the time The Snowman was first adapted for the screen, is still alive
attending comic book conventions in his persona as The Wizard judging Red Sonja Lookalike Contests
Warren Pleece
&nakin
Franceworld dot wikia dot com
The French eat an average of LXV sandwiches per second
wondering if they called him Jackie Gleason because he was really good at hand jobs
Dew Dork Tiggerwillies
Dondon Tiggerwillies
the children have to learn about tektites sooner or later
tektites
they called her that because of her priceless collection of asses
wondering if they called her Jackie O because she was really good at hand jobs
the curious cans of Diet Kento
enjoying a cool, refreshing can of Diet Kento Colon Ruin Your Rectum
Starsky et Hutch having such a superior theme to Starsky & Hutch
FRANK PonchARELLO, For some reason, you cannot hate him, He's a bonsai but it seems he won't be able to heal you
While having sex, you get a poncho and suffacate and kill your partner FRANK PonchARELLO using "hold m'dick" as a pick up line
While having sex, you get a poncho and suffacate and kill your partner FRANK PonchARELLO
using "hold m'dick" as a pick up line
Swans in Guangzhou recently inserted a glass cup into a married man's anus, and he isn't saying what else got crammed up there
Swan attack kills millions in Beijing
wondering when the Fatworld Dickgirlworld Nazis reconciled with the Fatworld Dickgirlworld Jews
A synonym for the ass hole and surrounding areas
an elephant that can fly using a bubble that he blows from his nose, released in February MMIII, was killed by poachers in early MMIV
While having sex, you get a poncho and suffacate and kill your partner
FRANK PonchARELLO
A conceited moss bonsai, For some reason, you cannot hate him, He's a bonsai but it seems he won't be able to heal you
Starsky y Hutch
Starsky et Hutch
Ponch
your klinoppe buying food on ebay
Kento Diet Can Ruin Your Rectum, Podcasters Say
they're lucky it wasn't a swan
Crane collapse kills seven in China
wondering if there is a science to the different types of fart, as in, do particularly warm farts for example relate to the production of certain gases by microbial life within the gut
Keto Diet Can Ruin Your Kidneys, Actual Doctors Say
Keto Diet Can Help You Live Longer, Researchers Say
Surgeons in Guangzhou recently removed a glass cup from a married man's anus, and he isn't saying how it got there
Impaled Danbury man expected to recover
If you have a dense enough material, gravity cannot penetrate it not feeling it
one worm enters, two worms leave
If you have a dense enough material, gravity cannot penetrate it
not feeling it
Murray's lawyer stated that Murray had undergone a medical examination that disproved a claim that Murray had what was described as "an unusual bump" on his genitals, and that the lawsuit should be dropped
that you like your women like you like your coffee,, black and with dildos in them
fuck marry kill, Gul Madred, Chancellor Gorkon, St John Talbot
giving Louise Fletcher a lickjob for change in the dumpster behind the asylum
that you would let Louise Fletcher bang you if you were not in a relationship
drawing a picture of Damar peeing on Gul Dukat's scalp while Weyoun takes a dump on his chest
pegging Gul Dukat, again
power bottoming for King Midas in Polishing Turds VII
seemingly there is no reason for these intergalactic extraordinary, extraordinary intergalactic
seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactical upsets
seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactic
I'm fucking King Midas in reverse here
Everything that makes for speed contributes to happiness and is a distinct gain to civilization
Linguamyrmex vladi
the episode of TNG where Data explains to Geordi that Worf is not a wereworf and won't change back in daylight
in fatworld
the holographic Enterprise D of the holographic Reg Barclay of the Mirror Universe Riker's final laminated encrypted Program Riker I
that Odo probably got up to shit that even the crew of the holographic Enterprise D of holo Reg Barclay in Riker's personal program would think perverse
that episode of DSIX where Odo and Kira hook up and he basically turns into gas, leaving open the possibility of a sort of physical violation of the alveoli of the lungs among other cavities and orifices, a Roddenberryan perversion even Japan cannot match
wondering if Odo's parts assume the sexual sensitivity of the form he's mimicking, or if it's all pretty much jello no matter what it looks like
drawing a picture of Damar sighing heavily as he walks in on Nurse Ratchet pegging Gul Dukat, again
quickly googling Kanye just to double check that he's Gul Dukat's spouse
if he's not then a lot of my fanfiction needs to be rewritten
just kind of assuming Gul Dukat is into butt stuff
just kind of assuming Kanye is into butt stuff
for the kind of money Gul Dukat is raking in I too would let Kanye West assfuck me
or a pah wraith yes fair enough
if wealth beyond any sane means of exhaustion and effortless fame based on narcissistic self promotion don't provide a meaningful top to a person's life, nothing more can be done
except maybe a pah wraith
nothing can help Kim Kardashian
SPICY BOYS could be used to help Kim Kardashian
Fire ants could be used to help Kim Kardashian
grossophobia
Spitzgeschoss mit Kern Ubungsmunition mit Zerleger
aragh sagi
Czechia
She also has the misfortune of both being French and living in France
Pokemon Those Bitch Ass Snails and Their Tiny Mobile Homes
those bitch ass snails and their tiny mobile homes
America's Wang finally gets wet
Massive storm twinks down on Florida
Massive storm bears down on Florida
YO SO THIS GOOFY LOOKING WINDY HEADASS NAMED IRMA SAID THEY PULLING UP ON US, LETS SHOW IRMA THAT WE SHOOT FIRST
I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell
No injuries were reported after either crash, said Miami City
Miami airport is closed, and the scene around it isn't pretty
As evening falls, Miami residents start to peek outside
Winds rattle Miami high rises, water floods the streets
reading all hurricane related headlines involving Miami as though they were lyrics to Will Smith's nineteen ninety eight smash hit Miami
I am sick of this child getting more and more chances to make money off of what we make
signed, Sir Robert Peel
Sleeping with people you work with is unavoidable
A woman was told to stop speaking 'foreign muck' but was actually speaking Welsh ellipsis in Wales, isn't it
If You Think You're Coming Out Of This Alive, My Reaction Is Ho Ho Ho
The bad news is that this is some big Mothra
The bad news is that this is some big monster, possibly a frankenstein, maybe even a dragon, sad
blood and feathers everywhere
Two HERONS at Miami construction sites have snapped in Irma's howling winds
Two cranes at Miami construction sites have snapped in Irma's howling winds
sucking on dicks like twenty four seven all weekend
stepping on ducks like twenty four seven all weekend
dickering in Pickering
Priest Holmes' home's priest Holes has joined instagram
dickering
Thor IV Colon Thor On The Floor
Priest Holmes' home's priest holes
Priest Holmes
Thor Colon Ragnarok
you are dearest Sith
I'm literally retarded now, hooray
oh for crying out fuck
telling me something that I don't know
telling me something I don't know
you are dearest shit
you are the disaster
Cambridge University advertises for sexual assault adviser
Bake Off Colon Paul Hollywood in Nazi outfit apology
desu ne
BEAUTIFUL INOCULATION GRANITE LONG SLOW SCREW FACE TO FACE AT THE END OF ANOTHER WONDERFUL EVENING
Pretty Cure Marble Screw
Baddum Tish, Jedi Knight
baddum tish
naturally, they would put the Han shot first
that scene would be much better if it included a shot of a woman carrying a tiny infant wearing the Han Solo vest
Anakin v Greedo
Wald was a Rodian male slave who lived on Tatooine during the time of the Naboo Crisis
always wondering whether that fat little Rodian kid who hung out with Annie was supposed to be Baby Greedo, because even though that would be monumentally stupid it's no worse than Vader making Threepio
telling the potatoes joke
Racist Uncle Owen
wondering why young Annie's childhood friends were diverse in species, ethnicity, and gender while all of Luke's friends were a bunch of white guys with porn mustaches
Star Wars but Biggs actually does stuff instead of having a mustache, picking up power converters offscreen, and dying
Star Wars but Wedge actually does stuff instead of basking in reflected glory
more like disinclined plane
typical INCLINED PLANE
typical Wedge
Category V Hurricane Irma slams Lesser Antilles, and is targeting Florida, Wedge Antilles escapes unscathed
Hurricane Kento is literally sucking the walrus away from the shorelines
Hurricane Irma is literally sucking the water away from shorelines
According to Scottish firm BrewDog, "The End of History" is the "strongest, most expensive and most shocking beer in the world"
this is the hill I choose to die on
beer in an age of reliable clean drinking water is the affectation of a culture that really thinks about guys doing butt stuff together quite a lot
it's not even effeminate, just plain old homoerotic
beer is super gay
big old floppy ones
Brat Pack, a case of beer bottles stoppered with wrapped hot dogs
Jonathan Swift's vole file
Jonathan Swift's love life
Kepeshkmolik Dumuzi
ThunderKento
closing all the doors so that you don't end up on the moon
Evidently delighted, he announced "I am LXX, and a colossal thundercunt"
swans are metal
I hate my life
that the tattoo is not actually huge but that ship has definitely sailed
the sound of someone you love who's going away and it does matter
buying a pushmepullyou bra for the first time
suddenly realising that all your Tu branded tshirts are Tu Small
the Bratwurst Pack
seeing regret one two nine seven three five and imagining Florida saying "hold my beer"
timing a buy up bra for the first push
US country music singers Don Williams and Troy Gentry die in Dutch rudder incident
Professor Plum, in the Conservatory, with the Severed Penis Pokemon Turks and Caicos
Michael Keaton, Brat Pack fan
buying a punch up bar for the first time
Digimon, Ottomans, and Calicos, we'd hear it from the people of the town
seeing the headline "The deadly danger from Miami's ubiquitous cranes" and imagining a flock of birds being accelerated by hurricane force winds to ballistic velocity and impaling a dude in the skull
The Facefuck Redemption
remaking
imagining a remake of The Shawshank Redemption remaking starring Kento, with Chris Lydon in the Morgan Freeman role and a lot more facefucking
Kento's virtuous cellmate
kIDUMENTA
dOGUMENTA
DIGIMON OTTOMANS and CALICOS
Professor Plum, in the Conservatory, with the Severed Penis
Pokemon Turks and Caicos
Sending positive thoughts and good vibes to the islands right now
Man found murdered next to his severed penis
cornballing Kento's testicular maize
the incredible opportunity to live out their days with him at his family farm in a rural Iowa town with a single restaurant
Kento's testicular maize
Kento's testicular maze
torrential rain
when you can only recall someone's given name and every time you think you can almost recall their full name you feel like something slaps you in the brain
Jiddu Krishnamurti
Hurricane Kento
This is not one to ride out and say, 'Oh, it's just a blow, we'll be fine'
New AI can guess whether you're gay or straight from a picture of you being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
liberating that comrade's bra from the counterrevolutionary brigades
hybristophilia
bra theft is counterrevolutionary
Phantly Roy Bean, Jr
the left wing CUP party
that's no leg
On A Stupendous Leg of Granite, Discovered Standing by Itself in the Deserts of Egypt, with the Inscription Inserted Below
Jeffrey Epstein emerges from wine cellar bunker after Hurricane Irma 'devastated' his private island
one in the green, one in the Breen
Richard Branson emerges from wine cellar bunker after Hurricane Irma 'devastated' his private island
We wonder, and some Hunter may express Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace, He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess What powerful but unrecorded race Once dwelt in that annihilated place
drawing a picture of a disappointed Charles "Trip" Tucker III in bed with T'Pol, with a thought bubble above his head reading "I guess I thought it would be green"
that Vulcan blood is green but Vulcan mucous membrane is pink
Twin Giant Spock #Two
Spock Two was a giant clone of Spock who lived on the planet Phylos
Kento salutes Ms Racist
Kento's camslut satires
Kento's ass smut recital
biting Kento's rustic metal ass
Kento's rustic metal ass
Buster Crabbe, I hardly know 'er!
Buster Crabbe
Commando Cody
Because of the hideous conditions in jails, prisons are like tombs and inmates are like ghoulish creatures
being genuinely interested in hearing The Wiggles' cover of Bulls On Parade
The Adventures of Captain Africa
Clayton Moore honestly seems kinda cool
Moore responded by changing his costume slightly and replacing the Domino mask with similar looking Foster Grant wraparound sunglasses
it's OUTRAGEOUS
that's like being on the Jedi council but not having the rank of master
attending Kento's testicular mass but not accepting the sacrament
Actor Jay Thomas Dead At Sixty Nine
having a guy named Mr Lydon piledriving your anus
Demons in the sky sing "Ca ira" as the blade of the guillotine severs the head of Louis XVI
having a guy named Mr Payne piledriving your anus
having a guy named Mr Payne driving your ambulance
hearing an air raid KRAKEN
hearing an air raid siren
performing "Freak Out!" at Sneed's Seed & Feed
Webster's video game transports him to a daydream in which he find himself on board the Enterprise from Star Trek Colon The Next Generation
Emergency response service Gold Cross Ambulance said Mr Payne had been fired "effective immediately"
MICROSOFT butter
rape tub pelt
Forget spoon bending! Instead of that, focus on school! Become a positive thinker! Believe in yourself and create a target! Go to university! Never smoke! And never touch drugs! And think of success!
Typhoon Gay
warm fuzzy girls
cold hairless girls
Dominick the Donkey
Lee Everett Blair
love honor obey, Natalie Portman, the Rebel pilots who survived the attack on the first Death Star, giant
Pokemon Fuck Off! and Freak Out!
Baltimutter
apple butter
He said the lyrics of the refrain were originally "Fuck off!" rather than "Freak out!"
Dennis Rodman talks of skiing friendship with Kim Jong Un
Grime MC Stormzy has expressed his affection for Theresa May, calling her a "paisan" at the GQ men of the year awards, mamma mia!
Grime MC Stormzy has expressed his dismay at Theresa May, calling her a "paigon" at the GQ men of the year awards
pushing a cow into the fountain of youth to reveal the calf within
John Woo resents Dell rap thongs
John Woo Presents Stranglehold
Barry Callebaut reveals the fourth type in chocolate colon Ruby
Pokemon Freda and Danton
A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it
Mario is officially no longer a plumber something something thanks, Obama something Brexit
getting a pee n poo from a couple of FULLY FUNCTIONAL Starfleet officers in the dumpster behind Ten Forward
getting a pee n poo from a couple of Starfleet officers in the dumpster behind Ten Forward
Mario Is Officially No Longer A Plumber
Toxic waste dumping by the 'Ndrangheta
getting a nut bite from a pony hooker in the dumpster behind Pee n Poo
Mleh mec
I love a pee n poo as much as the next guy, but you make a nifty friar
drawing a picture of Kento blowing a pony while Bernie Sanders bites his nuts
I love a free pony as much as the next guy, but you make a fair point
Kim Jong un in the North Korean capital making a ruler go pyoioioioing
Trump 'is not my ride' colon Putin wades into diplomatic row with Uber
Pokemon Miscarriage and Knitting
he sure is in my fanfiction
Trump 'is not my bride' colon Putin wades into diplomatic row with US
Wikipedia's description of Vanna White's personal life
Della Reese's Black Bottom
It was the last truly masculine show
Face books Boy George instead of Cowboy George, to sing at a country and western bar near an oil pipeline, to keep the locals happy, Hannibal pretends to be Cowboy George, Boy George assists the team
The fifth season introduced General Hunt Stockwell who, while serving as the team's primary antagonist, was also the team's boss and joined them on several missions
Maggie lost her baby legs
Madelyn bacon is an American actress who starred in the walking dead as enid She weighs DLXVII lbs
forgetting about that run of homeless prostitute regrets like a homeless prostitute
Inflation does not exist in real life
a situation in which a US invasion of North Korea is unexpectedly successful, temporarily lionizing President Trump until it is revealed that recent North Korean weapons tests were in fact actual but inept attacks
Kento's threatening letters to Brian May demanding a rewrite of Fat Bottomed Girls
Kento's repeated dirty protests at Girls Aloud concerts
Kento's complete collection of Everything But The Girl records
Boner Fett, Mandabang bounty hunter
Mandabang
she probably gets mandatory Manbang
she probably gets free Manbang
Chosun Monthly magazine reported that she lives a life of luxury in Pyongyang with her husband, children and grandchildren
Stinking Bishop
Spielberg decided against pursuing it, feeling it "would do nothing but rob the original of its virginity"
ET II Colon Nocturnal Fears
everything everywhere cummings
Transsexual Eliot
Fifty Fifty Cool One
William Homo Macy
Pay Respects Scott Fitzgerald
Probability Diddy
Dial One Thousand For Murder
Five For Vendetta
One Thousand Night Shyamalan
Two Hundred Peniston
CDIV
placing your bet that fatworld Cher is fifty pounds either side of the six hundred mark
chips, peas, ham and cheese
sensing a great disturbance in the horse
getting a life size tattoo of a woman fellating an ass on your horse
getting a life size tattoo of an ass fellating a horse on your woman
fuck marry kill, gypsies, tramps, thieves
getting a life size tattoo of a woman fellating a horse on your ass
wanting to discipline Kento in front of the walrus for his birthday
Borley rector, it darn near killed 'er!
the death of Karen Wetterhahn
Trigg's barn
Gane$ha
being able to get to all the hot ghost on ghost action in Borley in under an hour
the infinite compa$$ion of Ke$ha
who needs the infinite compassion of Ganesha when I've got Natalie Portman staring at me from YouTube with her dead eyes
Penetraty Colony
Borley Rectory
fuck marry kill, Bret Hart, Bret Harte, Brette Heart
Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Love Her!
And you, what would you do for love
The Mummy Colon Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
When Lenny told Bartman that he is transvestite, he threw him into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE before the police SLANGSHAT him
The Diddler
When Lenny told Bartman that he is transvestite, he threw him into high voltage before the police shot him
Poison Lenny
we gotta slingshot back to where we started from
gottong slongshot
getting slangshat
we gotta get right back to where started from
Another Slingshot Ride, Another Wet Country Dish
Protect the Country Dish
Emperor Bing of Song
you don't wanna see my horse where my hip be at
fuck marry kill, Herve Villechaize, Julia Volkova, Lena Katina
recognising that a tattoo is not a person
regrets about pony nut biting
Trump pays IInd visit to Texas, Houston mayor orders CCC to evacuate
Lady Nebula
drawing a picture of a barn filled with magical whimsical clones of Freddie Mercury in which one Freddie blows a pony and another one bites his nuts
now I know not nobody knows
kind of despairing
Marianne Rollcall
genuinely wondering how nobody has made a Marianne Faithfull slash Rolling Stones slash Total Recall themed porno, Get You Ass To Mars
honestly sometimes I just write bad regrets because I kind of want you to say "what's wrong with you" to which I would then shrug
a tv which hears your despairing sighs and mutes itself
making Ben Grimm drink a lot of water then lie on his back with his butt in the air and using his mouth to hold and burn a lot of marijuana, as you suck the smoke through his fluid filled intestinal tract, Bong Rim
Krispy Kreming Power Rangers
it's so early I could go back to the deli and have lunch again, but that'd be weird not cute and we are way past getting away with my bullshit
Saturday afternoon, when the bedt thing on tv seems likely to be Paul Blart Colon Mall Cop but it turns out that it's awful right from the start and everything is awful, just awful
wanting to like something on YouTube but seeing that aside from the video uploaded there's probably a half dozen creeps in shot filming as well
the entire girls orgasming in cars with lots of bass speakers YouTube genre
Space Chimps
It's in french, I'm french, she don't have an orgasm, she's really crying, she said " I'm gonna die" and his boyfrind say " Hey, hey hey, look at me angel, just look at me, everything is fine"
still better than Big Cats Fucking
the entire girls orgasming on fairground rides YouTube genre
Another Slingshot Ride, Another Wet Cunt
was I dumb or was I blind
Girl accidentally has huge orgasm while riding the launch ride!
aching for somebody
The exhumation was performed by forensic anthropologist Prof Dame Sue Black, who found only a hat, a shawl, a cross and a name tag that had spelled Gary's name incorrectly
falling into that nest of steak n shakes
peening Sean Bum
penning Sean Burn
falling that nest of guns n' roses
that Vader is basically a prop for the real actors to act at but Anakin is supposed to be a person who is named Anakin
realising that part of the reason Anakin sounds so ridiculous is that he says Darth Vader things but doesn't have James Earl Jones dubbed over him and his weird lack of expression is even weirder because of it
guessing that Anakin's father was not the Living Force, but rather one of the hundreds of Tuskan raiders who were willing to accept sex in lieu of Republic credits for scrap parts
human cyborg relations
The ball is in Skip's hands when the show needs someone to fight for it at the network, or it will be cancelled
fallen into dat messen hisen
falling into that nest of gungans
Down And Out In Theed And Gunga Otoh
Jar Jarwell
Sean Sean Penistonn, Gungan buffoon
Sean Sean Penistonn
we'll see a canon Padme Leia hookup long before it gets around to Gundark Funpark VII
well, it's just a matter of time before the series goes there
I doubt it, they only got out of there alive by doing some pretty weird butt stuff to each other
wondering when we're finally going to get that stand alone sequel where they fall in a nest of gundarks
I either go away with blood in vials or body in tow
bra thief odobene, scourge of honest beekeeping
I am a Jedi, like my father before me, although I have given myself the rank of Master
gaslighting sack of shit emperor
Mon Mothma is just high as shit
you must confront Vader, then, only then, a Jedi will you be, which also he is, though never the rank of Master did he reach
cooping
she believed he was an odobene who could steal her bra
that when the devil was cast out of heaven, he fell in Cabool
It was about the time referred to by Colonel Tod as the probable period of Prince Kenekson's igration from Lahore, namely, the middle of the IInd century that Claudius Ptolemeus, surnamed Ptolemy, the celebrated astronomer and geographer, wrote his geogr
Oahspe
when single shines the triple sun
President Trump pledged on Thursday to donate $I million of his personal fortune to storm victims, sidestepping the fact that he could make every living American a millionaire overnight and still be unimaginably richer than them
'Out of control' penises fined for torn hole rampage
Covfefe Ugly
having no fucking clue who build the delorean dot com is even aimed at
'Out of control' pensioners fined for hotel rampage
It's very common in priest formation programmes, especially in the western world, for them to undergo a psychological evaluation before admission to a seminary or diocese
Donno Osmond
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said I AM the Senate and it leapt at me spinning a ten eighty and screaming as it pulled out a lightsaber
the state of Georgia banned the use of the word "covfefe" on vanity license plates
Popos Oslond
Bermeja
Pepys Island
sucking her right pen until you had a mouthful of ink
you can't seriously expect me to choose
fuck marry kill, Mandy Patinkin, Wallace Shawn, Andre the Giant
sucking her right pen until she had a pengasm
stealing writing pens with Robin Wright Penn
I just don't like Sean Penn
burning Sean Penn
being slain by a bisexual half girl blackguard
being slain by a bisexual half orc blackguard
No confirmed case, living or dead, either living or dead, has been reported in scientific literature
They had Smash Mouth and all these great bands
electroplating your penne
Kento's purple forbidden enclosure
letting you mom down
there is no verifiable evidence to suggest that he had an affair with Alexandra
burning your penne
What It Was Like at Princess Diana's Funeral, With Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, whisky and Aston Martins
What It Was Like at Princess Diana's Funeral, With Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, Hillary Clinton and Tom Hanks
Pokemon Whisky and Aston Martins
a vaccine that is not often considered as being as important as some of the other infant vaccines
As missiles fly, Britain offers Japan whisky and Aston Martins
duuuuude, I just spilled my bong water into the plasma conduit, that's totally gay
Seann William Scott, Enterprise chief engineer
wondering if Sean William Scott is really cleaning up the douchy middle aged guy roles now that Bill Paxton is out of the way
wondering if anyone can prove that Mark McGrath and Seann William Scott were separate organisms circa twenty years ago
they have sorted it now, which I'm really happy about, but it's a bit poor on their side
super attractive and charming eighteen year old charity sign up people who might be into you but you're dying inside so you never even try to flirt with them
you will be ossomolotod
Borgor Kong
BJ Guyer
BRGRKNG
Brger King mistakes volatile gangster controlled currency format for smart investment
Benjamin Buttocks mistakes own cans for MM year old joke run into ground
Benjamin Sisko mistakes self sealing stem bolt for MM year old Bajoran coin
Benjamin Netanyahu mistakes museum souvenir for MM year old Jewish coin
WhopperCoin
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR END ZONE THERE IS ONLY FOOTBALL
Weston Steelhammer
Floating Venomous Fire Ants Add to Threats in Hurricane's Wake
pockmarked grandma's beancurd
Darth Blaine
bus far
I'm standing here in pieces and you're having delusions of grandeur bottoming for Red VI in Millennium Porkins VI
I'm standing here in pieces and you're having delusions of grandeur
bottoming for Red VI in Millennium Porkins VI
Rodman Stoppable
with our combined strength, we are sure to be granted the rank of Master
Kim Jong Possible
The Empire Strikes Back but Han's dies of dysentery
Kim Jong Un Fires a Third Child Toward Japan Colon Reports
Kim Colon reports
Kim Jong Un Fathers a Third Child Colon Reports
The Empire Strikes Back but Han's taun taun is called Ben and there's no such thing as ghosts
Empress pepper pot
Darth Aniston
the mighty ship, descending on a point of flame
holy shit, I thought I was making a stupid Star Wars character joke, but there seems to actually be a guy who uses Darth Mageddon as an online nickname unironically
Darth Mageddon
Star Wars except Jabba the Hutt is an obese Irish man
when they were putting together the original Battlestar Galactica and someone said hey, remember Luke's super ugly outfit from the end of Star Wars, let's make all the uniforms like that except we'll make them brown velour as well
Star Wars but every scene that takes place in or around a hangar has the White Zone Red Zone dialogue from Airplane!
you're only a master of evil, Darth, and not a serious organisation like for example the Jedi order
I have no need for a protocol droid
Rodong Notmog
Rodong Sinmun
throughout Voyager's journey through the Delta Quadrant the doctor gradually modified his program with larger and more outlandish penis designs, until what returned to earth was neither human nor sane
all those episodes where they showed Bashir and O'Brien leaving the holosuite talking about fighting the Battle of Britain or some shit like that when you know they were really having orgies with the infamous six titted hookers from Rigel VIII
wondering how many times Riker conjured up the holodeck images of Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, and Lisa Kudrow to play strip poker with while working up the courage to try and get Matt LeBlanc's number from them
Jennifer Aniston is NOT adopting the Mexican Matthew Perry from an orphanage, despite reports
Jennifer Aniston Does NOT Hate Matthew Perry, Despite Report
wondering how many times Data conjured up the holodeck images of Steve Harwell, Mark McGrath, and Rob Thomas to play poker while discussing the nuances of shitty radio friendly shitrock at the dawn of the millennium
'We have a lot of blond women in Finland' Colon Trump thought two female reporters were the same person
Armageddon Draughn
having impure thoughts about a fifteen year old David Blaine
public displays of increasing grievance, resentment and self absorption
Trump defends Arpaio pardon, assumed 'ratings would be far higher' by announcing during hurricane
Foul Weddings and a Fun Rear
learning you ain't agile at Tintagel
George Washington IS Princess Jasmine
climbing Lady Hillingdon
really looking forward to holodeck style ai just so you can make various presidents take Buzzfeed quizzes
looking forward to the advent of powerful ai and real time rendering of photorealistic subjects mostly for the memes, like 'Ike Eisenhower Watches All Of F#R#I#E#N#D#S#, Can He BEEES Any More FUCK!'
not remembering whether the David Blaine "trick" where he was encased in ice was called Chill Blaine
My older partner wants five hour sex sessions and I can't wake up
maybe you should ask the walrus to do more of the work, Chris
My younger partner wants five whore sex sessions and I can't pay up
My younger partner wants five hour sex sessions and I can't keep up
It's like watching the 'we were on a break' episode of Friends stretched to feature length, and without the blessed relief of commercial breaks or the promise of Seinfeld around the corner
Epithelial S
Muscular R
Visceral Q
It is no less true that sodomy could be a good alternative!
A controversial Indian godman convicted of rape on Friday has been sentenced to lO years in prison
Tiny Tiger, bad arse
Peritoneal O
fuck marry kill, bears, da bears, bad arse
courts should verify if the statute TWINKS such a fluid construction
courts should verify if the statute bears such a fluid construction
fuck marry kill, Jennifer Aniston's nippular area from Marley & Me, Jennifer Aniston's assticular area from Along Came Polly, all of Jennifer Aniston circa MMIII but Jim Carrey is there being his usual unfunny self doing prop bits and a running commentary
watching Marley & Me on the airplane and being delighted that in addition to an above average display of Jennifer Aniston's nippular area, it has a great scene where Kathleen Turner gets humped, a big hit with the DogsHumpingHugeMannishWomen subreddit
Glennis Dickhouse, dickgirl Chuck Yeager
Glennis Dickhouse
Mikey "II names" Albert
The group is also being investigated for allegedly tweeting pictures of bottles of urine from inside a police vehicle and showing off their private parts beside guns
This Bible's a Bible of my daddy who just di di died in my my arms of of throat cancer, from from eating some some some bad pussy
everyone needs a hobby
I HUMP OTHER DOGS' FACES
Dickgirl Carol Yeager
Fatworld Carol Yeager
Top newspapers lower paywalls for Hurricane Harvey, but Thor is not appeased
Bono lost o lot of monoo tonoght
Bono lost a lot of money tonight
scratch made Asian peanut sauce
banging a Tim Duncan heroine
Cartilagey N
Pokemon Kool and the Gang
fuck marry kill, Ottawan, Kool & the Gang, Boney M
fuck marry kill, Boney M, Dr Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Ken Bone
ohhh those Russians
RASPUTIN Vladimir Putin Love The Way You Move open parenthesis Funk Overload close parenthesis
they call it lonely digging
my anuse is empty winky face
it's true about the railroad men, though, steer clear of the model railway or load up on garlicky seafood beforehand
Uranus is probably full of giant diamonds
there's two post offices and I think the French girl would be happy to chat and maybe even douse me with scalding beverages over some average pub food at the historic Fountain Inn
stuck inside of Mevagissey with the Chagford blues again
Theologians doubt Pope is Catholic
An Uber driver who allegedly told a passenger 'I'll suck your dick' if she wanted a lift home washed her penis with water after she said she had HIV, a court has heard
An Uber driver who allegedly told a passenger to 'suck my dick' if she wanted a lift home washed his penis with water after she said she had HIV, a court has heard
Antiyosemite Sam
something something surgeons create anus for girl born without one something Roman Polanksi rejoices something sorry about that
Surgeons create anus for girl born without one
bottoming for Jeff Goldbum in Goldenfist VII
bottoming for Jeff Goldblum in On Goldenrod VII
bottoming for Jeff Goldblum in Goldenfist VII
that far away epoch when Tom Hanks did nothing but comedies
they called him Goldenfist because he ruled with a Goldblum fist
that brief time when Jeff Goldblum ruled Hollywood
wondering how there has yet to be a typhoon style Jurassic Park film
Driverless lorries and police censured over abuser
Hor of Sebennytos
okay there was one apparently
wondering how there has yet to be a tycoon style Jurassic Park game
French President Macron has spent $XL thousand on makeup services in just IV months
French President Macron has spent $XXX thousand on makeup services in just III months
Kim Bong han
a giant fist breaking feeble, substandard US nukes
The Trivago woman is everywhere
the old Taylor is dead
that we're nearly at a hundred and thirty thousand regrets
the Chinning by the Wellspring
the Mistake by the Loch
Right Said Fred Loves Taylor Swift's 'Marvelous' New Track and 'I'm Too Sexy' Sample Colon 'It Is Very Flattering'
people are mental
I PHONED TO CANCEL THE COLLECTION AS I FELT THE PRICE RISE WAS OUT OF ORDER, I ALSO REQUESTED A RETURNS LABEL AND TOLD THEM TO CANCEL THE ORDER, ANOTHER COIN ARRIVED I PHONED FOR ANOTHER RETURNS LABEL BUT NEVER RECIEVED ONE INSTEAD ALL I RECIEVED WAS LETT
AB Schermerhorn
framing James Franco for jenkem
a British remake of Revenge of the Sith where everything is basically the same but the budget is one fortieth of the original and Anakin says "agh that really hurt" when he gets his limbs chopped off
her treason later
his treason now
it's treason then
I have got ears of cloth
this war represents a failure to listen
you are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master
ENIAC fearing explaining queer theory in quenya to Enya in Kenya
fearing explaining queer theory in quenya to Enya
To speak to others of their species along with the voice they emit a smell showing their emotions
getting an ad for YouTube as a YouTube ad
everyone on bicycles for Juche and the Dear Leader
Pyongyang swings like a pendulum do
a decision has been taken to remove you from North Korea
'Safer than London!' North Korea opens door to Russian tourists
the Mistake by the Lake
a decision has been taken to remove you from the United Kingdom
that there's already two other grave markers next to where Anakin buries his mother and one of them is super tiny
Anakin's shocking admission that he kissed them all, and not just the men, they were like sand, and he thrilled them like sand
Orr'UrRuuR'R
Palpatine alrrady knos
we will do exactly as the council has instructed, and you will learn your place young one, which incidentally is not Master
also not quite getting whether Palpatine's initial idea is to hook her up with Obi Wan or whether Palpatine alrrady knos what an awkward creep Anakin has become
that now you think about it, what bugs you about Senator Amidala is that she doesn't get a reflective moment where she muses on the sort of Chancellor she helped elect and her own naivete of the politics of the Galactic Senate despite leading Naboo
a gifted, adorable, cuddly ingrate
a crossover sequel to Starman and The Oprah Winfrey Show where YOU get a baby and YOU get a baby and YOU get a baby but secretly they're actually bees
seeing that girl's beauty in the communal laundry room
I know it's you, Women By The Pound Bandit, your Simpsons quotes don't throw me for a moment
sleeping on top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies
Starman except instead of giving out babies he gives out puppies
drinking the entire cafetiere yourself
after all, we are from the land of tank chocolate
I gave you a baby tonight
Tiny White Ranting Hands
YUGE White Riding Hat
Little White Riding Hat
I see all those red hats and white hats
Donald Trump's LVII most outrageous quotes from his Arizona speech
we all FUCK! BEEEEES down here
women who answered smartly gets a lot of scores
Stephen King's BEES!
being the first to think of "bee all float down here" but having no way to act on it
bee all float down here
Kento's "pocket"
something something Fireman Paff something vegan sausages something Dickgirl Peppa Pig
Firefighters eat sausages made of piglets they saved from blaze
getting communism all over your face
Thanks to their weak sash, inexperience, and the lingering effect of communism, Hungarian beauties were simply ignored at Miss Universe
fuck marry kill, Cliven Bundy, Al Bundy, Ted Bundy
riddling Scots with Ridley Scott
Man falls from ski lift in diabolical accident
Man crushed by Jupiter's gravity in accident involving Jupiter's gravity
you will be a Jedi, I promise, but the council will not bestow on you the rank of Master
how feel you
revealed your opinion is
regrets about Snow knowing
regrets about snow blowing the Queen will not approve
regrets about Snow blowing
regrets about snow blowing
the Queen will not approve
watching a film at home without headphones for the first time
Surgeons saved a worker's hand which had been crushed in an industrial mangle by sewing it inside a "pocket" in his stomach for three weeks
Amazon Colon We All Float Down Here
downloading the Amazon app and letting IT find you
wooing space chickens with Courtney Cox Arquette
I hate every bee I see, from bee pan a to bee pan bee
purchasing chickens with Brian Cox
wooing chickens with Courteney Cox
stealing chickens with Nikki Cox
electroplating pennies with Nikki Cox
holding hams
the song Tiny Happy People by the group Really Extremely Minute
hearing that if you get bitten by a lesbian you can contract gaybies and the only cure is an injection in your butt
How I Meat Your Mother
never really understanding the Starfleet obsession with reviving people from suspended animation
never really getting what Picard's problem with Sarjenka was, like if he didn't want to save her planet or species he could have just abducted her and her immediate family, it would be no worse than reviving the satellite of eighties stereotypes was
shoving apples up the backside of the Messiah to make him walk funny with Christina Applegate
nickel plating cocks with Nikki Cox
Bashshit
goddamn phone keyboards
Bashshi
wondering how you go downmarket from Married Ellipsis With Children
We have spotted almost five such dogs here and have asked the pollution control board to act against such industries
having never seen an episode of Unhappily Ellipsis Ever After but judging from the endless commercials you saw as a youth, you kind of assumed it was just a downmarket Married Ellipsis With Children
fuck marry kill, Tiffany Malloy, Nikki White, Sarjenka, and they all have penises
if you do not know yourselves, then you live in poverty, and you are the poverty
Barbelo
he was a well recognized surgeon in Europe who published extensively, his probably most important publication being his treatise on artificial anus
fuck marry kill, Big Daddy, Giant Haystacks, Nikki Cox except she has cocks ramming John S McCain
wanting Ford to release a special carexclusively to the French market, the Cupola
bottoming for Butt Marshall in Blansky's Booties VII
Kento's ring barrow
it really depends on the number of cocks
fuck marry kill, Big Daddy, Giant Haystacks, Nikki Cox except she has cocks
ramming John S McCain
your knowledge of wrestling being limited to the showmanship of Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks, whatever you saw on Nikki Cox's short lived sitcom Nikki, and that one movie where Oliver Reed wrestles another dude naked in front of a roaring fire, no homo
the Leprechaun violently emerges from Blansky's beauties when he attempts to have sex with a fellow showgirl
turning heel
habeebing it is butter
Johnny Kovak, a Cleveland warehouse worker who becomes involved in the labor union leadership of the fictional "Federation of Inter State Truckers"
Antoine the Swan
Cole Dammett
Blansky's Beauties was cancelled after half a season, but Marshall refused to give up on the idea of a sitcom with a Las Vegas showgirls theme
Bikini Kickboxing Cruise Ship Book Review
the loosely constructed story of a band as they wrangle with the music industry and battle evil forces bent on stealing their instruments and corrupting their home town of Heartland
that both John Cage and Nicolas Travolta sound like pornstar names
that brief comeback period that Nicolas Cage had where he just seemed ready to make any old shit
that brief comeback period that John Travolta had where he just seemed ready to make any old shit
not remembering the original Taking of Pelham I II III particularly but knowing that the remake is pretty bad by comparison
not remembering the original Taking of Pelham I II III particul
the dick of Gregory Death
leg havin ass land bitch
the death of Dick Gregory
that really should be the title of somebody's autobiography
Ten Thousand Top Blondes
try telling that to the courts or that busfull of nuns
that you can't have an amusement park without semen
the Rhonda Fleming Womann Clinic For Men's Comprehensive Care
the Rhonda Fleming Mann Clinic For Women's Comprehensive Care
that if Dick Van Dyke doesn't die falling over a footstool you'll be so disenchanted with him that you won't even go to his funeral, even if there's a really great buffet
putting the semen in amusements
putting the fella in fellatio
Kento's homocentrism
MAKE SWEET LOVE SOULBOND ERADICATE, the FIVE BOTTOMS, SIXTEEN BLONDES, NO MANIACS
the death of Jerry Lewis
Kento's geocentricism
It's been a fantastic carnival week but this has taken the shine off things
Orrin Hatch's whorin' hatch
fuck marry kill, Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, Pringles, the Juggernaut
just now remembering that someone told you off in the comments around threeninesevenfivethree or possibly just completed a favorite song lyric but remembering being both startled and impressed
fuck marry kill, Nine Inch Nails, Utwo, Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine
he's more sand than man, now
fuck marry kill, the Four Tops, Four Non Blondes, Ten Thousand Maniacs
wondering whether Hayden Christensen works out and eats right because he's a health conscious husband, father and actor or whether he's just afraid of people selling tshirts that say "he's more carbs than man, now"
bottoming for Marie of Guise in Powerful House of Guys VII
Marie of Guise, of the powerful House of Guise
Hot Dogage
wanting to write phone dictionaries for a living so that you can make Tejas the default spelling
The Freest Little City in Texas
that your phone has the word 'alway' in its dictionary and since you didn't add it, there's a good chance that your phone is retarded
thinking we were probably always this way
wondering when we drifted into this ridiculous shorthand comedy
If it were up to you, you would have filled my buddy tunnel with cement, so no one else could use it!
faint, faraway piano music, like you're trapped in the denouement of a shitty movie
giving Kento a Thug Odo
Your potential regret of Kento's vagina has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE
giving Kento a Hot Doug
camp cum awareness
RHS organises dental checkup cum awareness camp
cumbagging deserves a quiet night
cumbagging
Camgirl Steve
it was the Pride of Krakow
the Oral Valves of Rod
the Veal Rods of Valor
the Overlords of Lava
the Lovers of Valdaro
fuck marry kill, Lt Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky, Robert Chlodowig 'Bobby' Drake, Otzi
fuck marry kill, Michael J Fox as Teen Wolf, Jason Bateman as Teen Wolf Too, Lt JG Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe
foodong bononos to bonobos for Bono
this shot is bononos, B O N O N O S
fuck marry kill, Jingle the jester, Lt Cmdr Rick 'Jester' Heatherly, Jester's Pies
Swaniel Gay Walrus
drawing a picture of Gwen Stefani shitting bananas
bottoming for Daniel Gay Lewis in The Unbearable Thickness of Peen
it seems like a provider
that walrus owns its own truck
fuck marry kill, Kento's penis, Kento's anus, Kento's walrus
the French form of the Old Frankish given name Chlodowig
fuck marry kill, Daniel Day Lewis, LION NIGHT CLARK, jester
kill jester
Cumbag Steve
No matter what happens, Steve is a shitty meme that had its time six years ago
camdickgirling
camgrilling
No matter what happens, Steve is gay boner head
No matter what happens, Steve is a honey badger
having to explain to someone that yes you watch a lesbian couple play video games on the internet but no you don't see them in whole or in part on screen
micglaring
grimlacing
rigcalming
girlmacing
camgirling
not exactly understanding what a hollaback girl is, other than it seems to have something to do with shitty bananas
I don't think I can because he kind of looks like a dick
When I walked in here today, I looked at him, and in my head, that's a snake
CSI Colon HTKK
finding your hairy book region with Mehari Bokrezion
CSI Colon FMK
the life of a boxer and former Provisional IRA volunteer Danny Flynn, played by Day Lewis, who is trying to "go straight" after his release from prison
Determined to break up the relationship, Thomas winds up sleeping with her, launching a chain of events that will change everything that he thinks he knows about his family and himself
fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, the boxer, the only living boy in New York
draining the johnsons of rocks with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
CSI Colon RSU
The Beautiful Writer who Fucked
The Beautiful Writer who Married
The Beautiful Writer who Killed
chewing your men with Chew Chor Meng
the death of Mehari Bokrezion
Howards
The Remains Of The
A Room With A
Merchant Trevory
Trevory the vampi
Ivory the Engi
on the internet nobody knows that you are a vampire and
on the internet nobody knows that
yes, this is dog
Pokemon Radio and Sex Unit
Pokemon Raisin and Tuxedo
Pokemon Tired and Anxious
Pokemon Pants and Life
LA Man Loses Pants, Life
Deadly Ending To Chase After Man Climbs Port Of LA Crane, Gets Naked
MS U IS BEST
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter is a scruffy looking nerf herder and instead of creating the best meth recipe he blows this thing and goes home
elephant's anusol
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter teaches sex ed and instead of creating the best meth recipe he ends up getting murdered with the dildo in the conservatory and also his name is Mr Boddy
elephant's toothpaste
that your sex education teacher was called Mr Boddy and you hope he wasn't murdered for the sake of a board game
Captain Robert Brown has not appeared in anything else but is visualized as a lower class, drunk, seaman who came to the mansion under mysterious circumstances and is represented by a brown token
fuck marry kill, Mr T, Mr Oizo, Mr Mister
Annabelle Colon Creation
truly wonderful, the mind of a child
he gave you that big dildo like the one he gave Nancy Reagan
that when you were in high school you met Mr T at the mall
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter is a big dude who loves his van that he lives in and instead of creating the best meth recipe he has the mind of a child and is repeatedly tricked by his so called friends
We are aware that some people are maliciously targeting our British Athletics Twitter campaign with offensive and abhorrent content
Mr T was good
the A Team show being such an indefensible pile of shit
It's in our national interest to flatter them
Third woman accuses Roman Polanski of sex attack
Doncong Woth Tho Stors
Omoroc's Got Tolont
This "FUNNY" MAGICIAN TOOK AMANDA's BRA FROM THE COMMuNAL LAUNDRY ROOM!
This "FUNNY" MAGICIAN TOOK AMANDA's BRA!
Blockoddor
Gomo of Thronos
shaving the genitals of fears with PHOEBE Buchfellner
Chuck Berry's estranged children, Chuck Rod and Berry Rod
the death of Dorothy Stratten opening Mike Knight
Gene Roddenberry's estranged half sister, Belle Bookencandle
fuck marry worship, God, a potato, anything
Rod Roddenberry's estranged half brother, Berry Roddenberry
you have to accept that some people believe in God, some people want to worship a potato, and some people don't want to believe in anything
shaving the genitals of bears with PHOEBE Buchfellner
shaving the genitals of bears with Ursula Buchfellner
the pubes of Dorothy Stratten
British band Bush dedicated the song "Dead Meat" on their album The Science of Things to Stratten
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her anuse douche
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter is mother of dragons and instead of creating the best meth recipe he gives birth to all the best dragons and also you have even less patience for the show than before
that ass
the breasts of Dorothy Stratten
the acting of Dorothy Stratten
bnpas
pubes
Brookong Bod
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter teaches driver's ed and instead of creating the best meth recipe he makes talking cars and also his name is Mike Knight
the death of Dorothy Stratten
opening Mike Knight
just now realising that Knight Rider's eponymous rider Michael Knight is Mike Knight
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter teaches biology and instead of creating the best meth recipe he breeds the most awful syphilis
being glad that whoever did the posters for Invisible Strangler managed to get all that work illustrating WikiHow
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her amuse bouche
Paprika Snakebite
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her anuse
Cox's Bazar Beach
Pokemon Meth and Syphilis
methphyllis
Pakistani Barkeep
Danielle Bregoli is kind of like ravioli, except stuffed with meth and syphilis
Pastakin Piebaker
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her abacus
not knowing what a Danielle Bregoli is but assuming it is some kind of pasta dish that identifies as female or someone who identifies as female pastakin, and supports themselves financially through stripping
honestly being surprised that there is still room in the pop culture universe for both Miley Cyrus and Danielle Bregoli, since they seem to occupy mostly the same space
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her abyss
London to lose Big Ben's curious cans for years
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her abcess
winning the Teen Choice Award for Ass Most Like A Pair Of Medicine Balls with seventeen twerks
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her absence
"Mungomania" was possibly the most startling and unpredictable pop phenomenon to hit Britain in the summertime since the weather was high
billing colonies with Billy Connolly
rolling gifts with Roland Gift
"Mungomania" was possibly the most startling and unpredictable pop phenomenon to hit Britain since The Beatles
the 'navy seal' is literally a seal animal
we're here, we're queer, we don't want any more bears
drawing a picture of a federal grand jury running a Trump train
something ribald
Nothing can stop the #TrumpTrain!!
smearing ramen on Ray Mears
We are cancelling Dave Coulier's registration with StarBangers for violating our terms of service
Beyond the Pale Colon Sir Oswald Mosley and Family
punctus contra punctum
PARPPS
Pompeii Archaeological Research Project Colon Porta Stabia
Creamjugs Harvey Girl Dick
Dickgirl Harvey Cream Jugs
Pokemon Mother'S MILK Jugs and Speed II COLON CRUISE CONTROL
Pokemon Mother Jugs and Speed
Pokemon Dolly Babe and Leader
Manifest Google Destiny
Eminent Google Domains
remembering when this 'dex hit eighty eight regrets an hour and travelled back in time to Eiffel Tower Kento with itself
We are cancelling Armrest Doily's registration with Lime Goo Gonads for violating our terms of service
trying to find a knife in Dave Coulier's cutlery drawer
We are cancelling Daily Stormer's registration with Google Domains for violating our terms of service
fellating Dave Coulier in a theatre
having a kind of general set of skills that includes resurrection
Plumber Things
A Columbia Falls man reported that a "strange kid" came by to fix his toilet but his toilet isn't broken
playing satrapy of discomfort
A woman in sweatpants was telling anyone who would listen to her in a local parking lot about how "everyone is going to die" because of the aliens in the sky
playing Kingdom of Loathing
having a very specific set of skills that does not include RESURRECTION
having a very specific set of skills that does not include resuscitation
too soon
being slain by a Phil Spector
being slain by a Regina spectre
Regina Spektor, vagina inspector
fuck marry kill, Gono Hont, Myke Hawke, Regina Spektor
Gono Hont shot forst
drawing a picture of Kento feelin' fine and doing real swell for himself
Gono Hont, bounty hunter
forgetting to food your klonoppo
kind of loving Gono Hont, that magnificent bastard
killing the Colofornoo gorls
filling up each cavity with your brownie batter
London to loso Bog Bon's oconoc bongs for ooors
POO EMOJI BROWNIES
ROP Brottono Morpho
RIP Brittany Murphy
The TV reboot train keeps chugging ahead
whoa
London to lose Big Ben's iconic bongs for years
We informed the Daily Stormer that they have XXIV hours to move the domain to another provider, as they have violated our terms of service
thinking that Johnny Cash died when Brittany Murphy drove that bus up a ski slope and killed all those celebrities you kind of half remember
not realising that Johnny Cash had been dead for fourteen years
asshole patches
What Remains of Edith Finch
raising VAT, eh
their vagina
their vaginas
weighing coins with Wayne Coyne
soul patches
rogrots oboot pono foodong
a "big lovefest for the German military and the Waffen SS"
a doctor was compelled to tell women not to put Gary Glitter pills inside their vaginas
regrets about pony feeding
a doctor was compelled to tell women not to put glitter pills inside their vaginas
forgetting to blow your klinoppe
Protap Chunder Mozoomdar
kind of wanting to make a version of Welsh Rape Crises where the music becomes increasingly loud and drowns out most of the vocals just like a conversation in a club isn't it
kind of wanting to make a version of Welsh Crap Series where the music becomes increasingly loud and drowns out most of the vocals just like a conversation in a club look you now
kind of wanting to make a version of Careless Whisper where the music becomes increasingly loud and drowns out most of the vocals just like a conversation in a club
watching these meme mashup videos on youtube even though you know nothing will every top Cooking by the Book
fucking marital bees
regrets about bee fucking
fucking martial bees
Gordon Ramsay saying "FUCK"
Viva La Bees
Let It Bee
Mike Hawke's eye is watching you
it's looking at me
Mike Hookem's eye is watching you
Mike Hookem said he was not prepared to "turn a blind eye" to extremism
Rocket Madsen
I place the blame for a lot of what you're seeing in America today right at the doorstep of the White House and the people around the president
taking the high road
fuck marry kill, Teleporno, Groin, Fatty Bolger
here made into a Telerin prince Teleporno or Telporno
Celebrimbor
#fashion
Bruceploitation
Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it
As Hilda's buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm
just now learning that Kevin James has a second sitcom where he plays a fat, stupid, ugly, worthless man with a hot wife
Stronius Stronnius knows nothing!
A copper pot went missing from my shop, Anyone who returns it to me will be given LXV sestertii, which is enough to screw Attice XVI times
Sollemnes, you screw well!
If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend
I have buggered men
Apelles Mus and his brother Dexter each pleasurably had sex with two girls twice
finding "having bear sex with Ryan Q North" in your autofill cache
A CANADIAN BESTSELLER
Black Celebrities as White Men from FaceApp
it is a literal bear
a cave painting of a tribal chieftain getting shit on by a bird
Apollinaris, doctor to the emperor Titus, had a good crap here
If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all, if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice, she costs IV sestertii turning heads and turning knobs it looks like you've come from outer space
If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all, if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice, she costs IV sestertii
turning heads and turning knobs it looks like you've come from outer space
Secundus says hello to his friends
Acca Larentia sucks cocks in Hades
Antiochus hung out here with his girlfriend Cithera
Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates
we asked one hundred men, name something you like to do to women's feet
Secundus likes to RAILROAD SPIKE boys
You haven't played World of Tanks yet! You're wasting your life!
declaring cole's law
DOOMfeld
Malcom, but they are arrived on a boat
declaring Malta walri
this is da pimple, cheerio
this is a pedophile crime
you're fighting for your life inside of Phyllis Diller tonight
there's no escaping the shores of Westphalia this time
trading mansplaining for glass beads
as horror looks you right between the boobs, you're like "hey my eyes are up here buddy"
not really understanding what exactly pinterest does, other than clog up google image search attempts
not really understanding what exactly pinterest does
Pinterest for asian dude, Pinyinterest
Pinterest reminding you to log in constantly, Pesterest
Pinterest for fat dudes, Pieterest
mounting the biggest dick in the world, Peenverest
as horror looks you right between the eyes, you're like "hey my eyes are either side of there buddy"
Pinterest for gay dudes, Peenterest
"The refrigerator was the dangerous weapon," O'Connell told the Herald yesterday
that's why they call him Big Bird
using "I wan' git up in yer guts" as a pickup line
struggling to reconcile the challenge of whether to marry or simply pursue a sexual relationship with someone whose nickname is Pussy Monster
fuck marry kill, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, that one South African muppet with AIDS
drawing a picture of bustier, hippier Marceline from Adventure Time in blackface
liking your women like you like your presidents, looking like a black Ellie Dee from Cherry
lending your power to a dishonest charlatan
FaceApp Produces Grainy Artifact Filled Images Just Moments After Installation
Canary Worf L!VE TV
FaceApp Removes Ethnicity Filters Just Hours After Release
Canary Wharf L!VE TV
bottoming for Boxey's Robot Daggit Muffit in Being First Pleasured, Then Tortured, Then Killed By A Machine VII
hearing what you assume is the latest Coldplay single and wondering how long they've been autotuning that whiny twat's voice
fuck marry kill, Matt LeHonk, Hooey Tribbiani, Dr Drake Ramoray
fuck marry kill, Matt LeBlanc, Joey Tribbiani, Dr Drake Ramoray
relying on Boxey's robot daggit Muffit to help them
fuck marry kill, that stupid pussy Threepio knockoff from the start of the Phantom Menace, the Rtwo unit with the bad motivator, the entire Trade Federation battle droid army
once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back
fuck marry kill, IT O interrogator droid, EW III midwife droid, JN LXVI analysis droid
fuck Sy Snootles because I bet you get amazing oral from that proboscis, kill Boss Nass because he's annoying, marry Dexter Jettster because he owns his own business and knows how to cook or at least program a droid to cook well
kill Luke, fuck Leia, marry my OC Skywalker triplet who's like super hot and amazing and sexually naive but not you know boring in bed somehow
Sherlock Holmes Colon Consulting Detective
fuck marry kill, Boss Nass, Sy Snootles, Dexter Jettster
fuck marry kill, Luke, Leia, some third sibling that probably appeared in some shitty noncanon comic book or something
fuck Jar Jar as long as I get to top, kill Watto because we need a final solution to his people, marry Poggle the Lesser because he's a provider
artfully using MDMA to fortify cured pork with Richie Cunningham
knitting an ace scarf with Scarface
fuck marry kill, Jar Jar, Watto, Poggle the Lesser
pitching a horror about a literal grammar Nazi who forces his victims to debate and vote among themselves who will die next and how, The Its Have I's
IoIoIo IoI OOO IIIooI IoII
Koroto Kod OOO Scroon Tost
Koroto Kod III Scroon Tost
Karate Kid III Screen Test
wanting to birth Panino a kento for his makeday
wanting to make Kento a panino for his birthday
Kelly Collins Duztbunniez
Kelly Collins Lintz as Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
Kelly Collins Lintz as Fiona Dillanbeck Flanscopper
Growing Pains Colon Return of the Seavers
bottoming for Kirk Cameron in Hard Core Christians VII
Woman who makes a living by being pretty complains that coworker didn't think she was pretty enough
Chloe Grace Moretz Colon I was body slammed by wrestling co star when I was defending WWE title
belatedly understanding that like YouTube's sassy music mixes, your phone's references to cancer are a sign of artificial intelligence
bottoming for Hard Core Christian in Superraptureeucharisticsexbesidethealtar
not knowing what your phone has been through but when you enter 'living with' it autosuggests 'cancer'
having always envied Ryan's easy charm and ability to end sentences with AMAZING without any need for further explanation
getting clones drunk on gin and tonics until they have tonic clonic seizures
'This guy that was my love interest was like, 'I'd never Eiffel Tower you with a walrus in real life,' and I was like, 'What' And he was like, 'Yeah, you're not fat gay and Asian enough for me' as in, my size," he said
Kento Ikeda Colon I was body shamed by male podcaster when I was fifteen
in Holland
getting picked up and fucked by a van full of marines driven by Marijne van der Vlugt
drunkenly marinating a steak with Marija Sestak
Diana JOEY
Diana Ross lives on no evil star
how sad it was when Diana Ross died in that chain reaction
top oral, Mr
RLM tar poo
motor larp
Mr Pool Rat
Portal ROM
parlor Tom
moral port
mortal pro
Mr Oral Pot
oral tromp
plot armor
the Kingdom of Kush
that brief part of your late childhood and early adolescence when you probably couldn't tell the difference between Joely Richardson and Uma Thurman
actually knowing that Liam Neeson was married to Natasha Richardson, not Brittany Murphy, but being unable to picture either of them, only Joely Richardson
actually knowing that Anna Faris didn't die because you heard about her being alive just today, but not being able to remember Brittany Murphy's name, only that she died in that skiing accident
guessing that Diana Ross is alive, because you don't recall her dying like Anna Faris
that, on introspection, if someone were to ask you whether Diana Ross was dead or alive, you would basically have a fifty fifty shot at getting it right
Rats stared at Diana Ross scurrying around the Children Playground in Central Park in Manhattan on Tuesday
kissing a naked dude holding his shitty pants in his hands
Children stared at rats scurrying around the Diana Ross Playground in Central Park in Manhattan on Tuesday
everybody hates sand
PrequelMemesBot
Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion
Tobor the Great
The fates of several other characters, including Adama's daughter Athena, Colonel Tigh, Starbuck's girlfriend Cassiopeia, and Muffit the robot dog are not revealed
Number One Will SHOCK You!
Every Version Of The Joker Ranked By How Likely I Am To Kill For Them At The Quality Inn Pasadena, Near The Rose Bowl, This Sunday At Eight In The Evening
Every Version Of The Joker Ranked By How Little I Care For Them
he's living it up on Rancho Fabuloso now
the death of Glen Campbell
anorectic
accretion
the London Hammer
Adam Duritz would have taken them
having to get rid of all those naked dude meat chunks somehow
killing a naked dude shouting "bathroom emergency!" and demanding to use the toilet first, even though you probably could have held it for a few minutes, thus depriving someone who actually really did have to go a chance to use said toilet and making them
kissing a naked dude shouting "bathroom emergency!" and demanding to use the toilet first, even though you probably could have held it for a few minutes, thus depriving someone who actually really did have to go a chance to use said toilet and making them
kissing a naked dude
shouting "bathroom emergency!" and demanding to use the toilet first, even though you probably could have held it for a few minutes, thus depriving someone who actually really did have to go a chance to use said toilet and making them shit their pants
DO NOT PUT YOUR LIME IN A COCONUT
Poltia de Lossless
Poltia de Lossi
thinking, after randomly finding out that Portia de Rossi is fat like last year, that she held no more surprises, but it turning out that she's Asian
thinking, after randomly finding out that Portia de Rossi is gay like last year, that she held no more surprises, but it turning out that she's Australian
DO NOT PUT YOUR PENIS IN A COCONUT
just a downtown body body coming with a super hottie
there's no escaping the chores of the alien this time
KOREAN KIMCHI SLAP!
I saw you there so unaware those hummingbirds all in your hair llama gamma busy hella fizzy California
sad newt
I saw you there so unaware those hummingbirds all in your hair
Pokemon That and This and These and Those
that and this, these and those
wet sand
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Adaptation where Nicolas Cage sticks his arm up Nicolas Cage's ass and wondering where it came from
#TRYITWETEH
#HEYTWITTER
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Wild At Heart where Laura Dern sticks her arm up Nicolas Cage's ass and wondering where it came from
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Jurassic Park where Laura Dern sticks her arm up a dinosaur's ass and wondering where it came from
'scuse me while I fist this guy
it's going to be like punching the sky
he's the receiver
Swanish Dicks
he's a big guy, that's going to hurt
Shaq fisting
The Ultimate Extreme! The Large Buddha Statue Transformer
shag fishing
cormorant fishing
wanting to make Go a daddy long legs for Kento's birthday
wanting to make Go a leather daddy for Kento's birthday
wanting to make Kento a leather daddy for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a leather muppet for his birthday
An image supposedly uploaded to the dark web by Black Death shows a woman alongside details including measurements and nationality, although the picture is believed to be a scene from a pornographic film
Chamseddine Bourassine
Thomas Gon' Give It To Ya
Swedish Dicks
Vile Anal was a really popular series
bottoming for Vanilla Ice in Vile Anal CI
Vanilla Ice has a VEVO
the song Spank open parenthesis XII inch version close parenthesis by the artist Jimmy Bo Horne
Never Gonna Hit Those Notes
when things are big that should be small
muppurbating
wondering if Kevin Clash referred to his teenage boyfriends as "leather muppets"
it's a muppet, I know
maybe it's not a puppet
wondering what the odds are that Kevin Clash used the Elmo puppet to masturbate even once
she's as sweet as buffalo honey, just like honey, baby, from the bee
having never been to the Orge, though your sister once went to the Ardeche when she was a kid
maximum ogre load
being an ogre but never having been to an orgy
being uncommonly amused by monsters, the monstrous, and monstrousness
watching the growing hysteria over the Black Death "dark web" group with some amusement, knowing that the moral panic over what appears to be some kids who met online and watched Taken too many times will eventually be used for monstrous purposes
Slutlioncash
Officer Slutlion, eh
the Coffer illusion
fuck marry kill, Veggietales, the Munch Bunch, the Poddington Peas
kinetic waffleables
kinetic lunchables
kinetic wearables
AFRICAN AMERICANlight tattoos
blacklight tattoos
Flying nut high five
don't go fuckin' honeybees, please stick to the dragonflies you're used to
I should've known better than to fuck a bee
guilty feet ain't got no rhythm
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face bees
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face weebs
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face
weebs
that would explain the punishy feeling recent events have had
everybody's working for the sabbath
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to AFRICAN AMERICAN WEEKEND MARINE'
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to BLACK SABBATH sailor'
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to kiss sailor'
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to kill soldier'
animatio, a blowjob from a puppet
phone posting
not being sure whether you like Godzilla or kind of want to like Godzilla because you feel that saying you don't like Godzilla is going to be too much work down the line when you say it to someone that likes Gozilla
not being sure whether you like Gorillaz or kind of want to like Gorillaz because you feel that saying you don't like Gorillaz is going to be too much work down the line when you say it to someone that likes Gorillaz
what the hell is on Ross's ass
what the hell is on Joey's head
The entire Bee Movie except every time someone says bee it cuts to that person or bee peeing in Kento's face
really needing to get around to QUEUING in Kento's face
Jaden Smith vs Vegan Mayo Colon Dawn of Justice
that if someone had been able to show you twenty years ago how Jaden Smith went from being able to act well in The Day The Earth Stood Still to being an increasingly wooden mumbly cretin just a few years later, you would have never been stoned again
chin up
that time there was a monster at the end of this 'dex freaking out and it was YOU
clinoppe
if there's an elevator that represents our journey through life then I have farted in it and pressed the button for the wrong floor and all of the other people in the lift know this about me
she smiles and she brings my food and takes the money and is perfectly professional but she will not look at me any more and I'm such a turd
she won't even look at me
when your head is buzzing and you're pretty sure it's the fumes from that woodworm treatment that you've inadvertently huffed
oh no wait a klinoppe is a clinic upstairs yes see I'm stupid and I leap to ludicrous conclusions and then have to walk it back as humiliatingly as possible, I've shit myself
which is why you said nothing of import
the time someone was messing with you and asked who you thought they were and you said anything but "some dude who I kinda know from Ryan's forum, I guess" which would have been the likely answer but you secretly wanted them to be a manic pixie dream girl
she had eyes and everything, the freak
you know the one, the one with the face on the front of her skull
that time when it was now and you still kinda believe that there's only really been the two of us from the start, even though other people have definitely been around, like that guy who got married, and that chick, whatsherface
the time someone was really freaked out for days because they thought you'd hacked them, which is comical to you, and you just posted Prince lyrics and tried to be reasonable, which is kind of a stretch since you're craaazy
the time someone was messing with you and asked who you thought they were and you said "Bicoid Babe"
the time someone was messing with you and asked who you thought they were and you said "Kento"
never finding the regret and or comment that was a lyric from Can You Feel The Love Tonight again, and coming to believe it was simply an exchange you imagined
wondering if the sentence fragment "clinic upstairs" is a regret in itself or a search mistakenly entered
Pokemon Sweetest Pun and Cutest Fruit Based Idiom
clinic upstairs
having no idea what a klinoppe is
when you were young and your heart was an open book you used to say imma get married, you know you did you know you did you know you did, but in this ever changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry
life is quite sad
that of course minus the ticket cost it would have been #XXIII, and at least it wasn't the jackpot or even the next tier, but still
when you were young and your dreams were like "imma get married" and "imma get a job I want to do" and now they're "imma habitually buy a single low yield ticket to a high prize game every week because damn if I didn't fuck everything up years ago"
finding out that if you'd played your lottery numbers wednesday instead of today you'd have made a cool #XXV, which admittedly means your chances of winning anything today are unchanged and you don't have the loss from playing twice a week, but still
"honey do" being the sweetest pun and cutest fruit based idiom you have yet heard
simonkolleite
abhurite
I don't think I even had one back then
A British survey in two thousand five suggested that forty five% of British adults own but do not use sandwich toasters
MORE LIKE AN A HOLE
I FOUND A LOOPHOLE
you are a MONSTER
meeting David Jaffels
meeting David Jeffers
seeing the picture of David Jeffers and wondering how Adam Duritz and Tim Curry managed to keep their love child secret all these years
shot through the cunt, and you're to blame, you give love a bad name
nanus nanus
impressing all those lesbians with big dicks
Simple illustration of heterosexual rusty trombone
whether or not the president is a crook
impressing all those lesbians with big dick
Wayne's wife Diane leaves on a Friday with their daughter Amy for college, leaving Wayne to look after Adam and their teenage son Nick, who struggles with puberty with both hands whenever he thinks he is alone
Wayne's wife Diane leaves on a Friday with their daughter Amy for college, leaving Wayne to look after Adam and their teenage son Nick, who struggles with puberty
bottoming for Rick Moranus in Honey, I Blew the Kids
wanting to see the gritty reboot of Mork & Mindy where Mindy punches Mork in the face is says WELCOME TO ERF
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said Knine CBT and it had lots of dog club stickers in the rear, if anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I though "nah forget it, yo home to Bel Air"
seeing a license plate that said Knine CBT on a car that had lots of dog club stickers in the rear window and thinking that's disgusting, at least make an effort to hide it, but then realising that it's probably not deliberate
eating that one thing of Kim Peek and definitely puking in bed, definitely
having an orgy with ogres in the Orge
The property is not sold to include land or outside space but we suggest a child's playroom or bedroom would be the perfect setting for the grand home
A woman was shot in the vagina and left with "life changing injuries" in a sex game gone wrong
short term memory whatever
Impressing Every Man With Big Boobs, Eh
Man caught vomiting while masturbating atomic Jew, eh
Tyler Perry's Mrs Doubtfire
Will Smith playing Mrs Doubtfire
Will Smith playing Genie
Impressing Any Woman With Little Richard
something something Dickgirl Rachel Stevens something this time next year something seven foot dick on a five foot dickgirl, the aristocrats
The Nut Job II Colon Nutty By Nature
Impressing Any Woman With Big Dick
Honey, I Met Brian Peppers
Honey, I Blew The Pony
Honey, I Eiffel Towered The Kids With A Walrus
Honey, I Sent The Kids To Stay With Your Sister For The Weekend, We can Either Have Sex And Wonder When We Stopped Caring About Each Other Or Try And Fix This Marriage
Queen Elizabeth II becomes bi curious and experiments when drunk , officially making her a minge drinker
Watch BJ fuck Nazis from a wheelchair in a new Wolfenstein Two Colon The New Colossus video
Watch BJ kill Nazis from a wheelchair in a new Wolfenstein Two Colon The New Colossus video
Pixels is one of the most original and enjoyable movies of the year, a smart and often very funny summer action comedy
Sessions vows review of 'a bad mouse penis' amid ramped up leak investigations
Sessions vows review of 'media subpoenas' amid ramped up leak investigations
Man caught watching The Emoji Movie
In the wake of the uproar, lead community manager Sammie Kang, who goes by the evocative handle of "poopieQueen" on Twitter, issued an apology for not previously addressing the shortcomings of the current ban system
Man caught masturbating while vomiting atomic Jew, eh
Man caught masturbating while viewing Thematic Mojo, eh
Man caught masturbating while watching Veto Hoe Jimmie
A sequel series to the classic film "The Karate Kid" is set to launch you on Redtube
A sequel series to the classic film "The Karate Kid" is set to launch on YouTube Red
Man caught masturbating while watching The Emoji Movie
Queen Elizabeth II drinks four cocktails a day, officially making her a binge drinker
the long lost love child of The Love Boat and Hollywood Squares
Woman reportedly spotted fellow passenger typing in large font on a large smartphone
Dubai's Torch Tower on fire again
Honey Colon I Gave The Kids Diabeetus
Agave Syrup, I Shrunk The Kids
blowing up the kids
shrinking the kids
The Weekend of the Walrus
The Day of the Dolphin
keeping all your A's in your a hole
JoJo describes herself as thankful, different and sparkling
Ace Combat Zero Ost Zero
The Secret Service team employed to protect the president and his family at Trump Tower is now headquartered in a trailer outside the building after a lease dispute with the Trump Organization
SO PAY YOUR BEAR INSURANCE, CAPISCE
YOU WOULDN'T WANT BEARS TO BE CARELESS WITH FIRE IN YOUR HOME
Careless Bears
seriously, Careless Bees
Careless Bees
All Star Bee
Allstar but it's Frozen
All Star but it's Sandstorm
that most of the music of the nineties seems to have been droning repetitive crap
YouTube's playlists being secret sick burns
listening to that entire Jamiroquai playlist YouTube suggested
monkhurls
nunchuks
begun the Hand Job Robot War has
INTERNATIONAL CREAM ROBOTS
local milk people
oh yeah tough guy well why don't you prove it
Plumbers Don't Wear Ties
staffle jomping
truffle yomping
waffle stomping
Pokemon Hometown and Large Breasts
Her pictorial was titled "Wholly Tooled!" because of Myers' hometown and large penis
Her pictorial was titled "Wholly Toledo!" because of Myers' hometown and large breasts
I Took Ayman al Fayed Out for Some Frozen Yogurt and Then We Did Some Antiquing
I Took Abu Nidal Shopping
Watermelon Power Bill
jellos on the half shell, watermelon power
rogering Christians with Roger Christian
Black Angel
Comments posted on Norwegian 'Fatherland first' Facebook group call empty seats on bus 'terrifying'
Avril Labrines
Picklebacks
cheap spine
peach penis
medium rare chicken gives lickjobs for twenties
medium rare chicken strips
Pokemon This Dumb Motherfucker Would Lose Your House Keys, Burn Down Your Apartment, Then Try To Sneak Off and Fingerbang Your Stepdaughter
regrets eight one three three one to eight one three three seven
Watermelon Jello in the Shell
Illusion Strawberry Skeleton Jelly Geldof
that one time you cut a watermelon in half, took out the flesh, pressed the juice from it, made jello out of the juice then put it back in the shell and it delicious
Giant Watermelon Jello
Illusion Strawberry Skeleton Jelly
How to make Balloon Chocolate Bowls
Pikachu Sushi Cake
ICE CREAM ROLLS DELICIOUS THAI Oreo Chocolate Brownie
peak teats
peak cocks
chicken mountains
mountain chickens
Baby President, coming this Christmas from Dreamworks
Donald Trump is like if a baby were president but without the capacity for joy
this dumb motherfucker would lose your house keys, burn down your apartment, then try to sneak off and fingerbang your stepdaughter
ATM Cashhold Twenty Eighteen
wanting to make Kento a Baby Back Rib Thickburger
Your last text is the Democrats' slogan for twenty eighteen
proposing closer Anglo American ties by resolving the "ATM", "cash machine", "hole in the wall" language problem with the compromise "ATM cashhole"
If everyone reading this gave #Two, we could keep Wikipedia thriving for years to come
For all those who love Temple of Doom, you've gotta give THE SKELETON QUEEN credit
For all those who love Temple of Doom, you've gotta give CHARLOTTE credit
For all those who love Temple of Doom, you've gotta give George credit
Trump's at least open & honest about his lying
kicking me in Myke Hawke
kicking me in my heart
yes FEATURING JON ANDERSON, TREVOR RABIN, RICK WAKEMAN
yes
fuck marry kill, Catherine Bach, Colleen Camp, Cybill Shepherd
fuck marry kill, Jessie Spano, Jesse Katsopolis, Jesse Duke
H kento
Aynali Martin
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot stable to blow a pony or her left one, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot dumpster to save a steakburger or trannie, legally
Gonanism
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a fuck marry kill or hold thrill kiss kill, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a guy or doll, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a jet or shark, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot kid to save a car or dog, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot dog to save a kid or car, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot carl to save a dog or kid, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a dog or kid, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a kid or dog, legally
Kentonanism
Jonanism
hoing goal hog
going whole hog
Queequeg quickly clears the queer quay
If you thought all of the dinosaurs died millions of years ago, you're wrong
wanting to make Kento a Denver THE LAST DINOSAUR omelette for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Denver omelette for his birthday
'avin' a giggle mate
Even though Choate administrators knew Mr Lyman had given a student a sexually transmitted disease, he left the school with a letter of recommendation, which helped him land a job at Kent Denver
enfance en francais en france
jailbreaking your peanut butter
Jailbreak Colon Inmates used peanut butter to fool guard dog, any size
raping a counting crow or cutting up a teen, any size
raping a counting crow or a teen, any size
this ain't your funky show
I'm actually the one who's been putting this together but as you know, I keep my name out of things because I have no credibility
One of the main problems with the p value, some in the statistics field have suggested, is that non statisticians do not really understand it and because of that, use it incorrectly
Chips Rafferty
Jailbreak Colon Inmates used peanut butter to fool guard dog
Jailbreak Colon Inmates used peanut butter to fool guard
raping a cruel crow or a teen, any size
powering a nuclear reactor, any size
It is revealed that she died of cancer brought on by exposure to Peter's radioactive bodily fluids during intercourse over the years
Trump dictated son's misleading statement on meeting with Russian lawyer
Areola Grande
sqoou!ug Jamal's doods
sqooning Jewel's doods
sbooning Jewel's poops
really feeling your poops
really feeling your boobs
Speed Poo Colon Poo Control
really filling your boobs
really filling your boots
tharting yourself pretty badly
thart
thanks, fanart
I guarantee there's fanart of that exact thing
President Trump taps Joe Arpaio's ass
President Trump taps Joe Arpaio for white mana
President Trump taps Joe Arpaio as new communications director
President Trump has decided to remove Ivanka Trump from her position as daughter, citing his distaste for "losers" as reason
Former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio found guilty of criminal contempt
you i everything else
ALL YOU PISS BABIES CAN EAT MY SHIT I'LL FUCK YOUR WIVES ON YOUR GRAVES
President Trump has decided to remove Anthony Scaramucci from his position as communications director
balls have a ball to me to me to me to me to me to me to me
Chris Lydon gets in walrus fan's face while holding wiener
Ed Wood's Chris or Christie
Although regret is painful, it is an essential component of the human experience
Chris Christie gets in Cubs fan's face while holding nachos
the most bacteria ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman
Bleachy McKay and his best friend Bear
Bleachy and the Bear
Bleachy and the Butt
The Treasure of the Syrian Madhi
A Fistful of Daesh
Big Black Swan Colon An XXX Dickgirl Parody
Bleachy and the Brit
a XXX crossover sequel to Pinky and the Brain and ThunderCats, Snarf in Narf
a crossover sequel to Pinky and the Brain and ThunderCats, Snarf n Narf
I think so, Brain, but who else is going eat green soup but me
it's a good idea but nobody else is going to eat green soup but me
TOMATILLO soup
all the electrical secrets of heaven
a western but instead of yeehaw the cowboys all shout jihad
I think I'm gonna grow my beard out and style it, maybe get some sleeve tattoos, and tomorrow I think I'll go looking for a fixie to ride
just a real simple tomato soup with a complex vegetable stock to add depth
tomato soup
heaven only knows what you might find
what kind of soup
in my defence, the soup I was making that distracted me turned out OK
it's good to be king
first you shrink the pastry, then you burn the cheese, then you really don't feel like putting the strawberries on top and glazing them with thinned down jam
really ruining that cheesecake pretty good lenny face
really ruining that cheesecake pretty good
well, I am, but I won't be afterwards, if you see what I mean
yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it
that's OK, I believe when the body dies the mind, or spirit if you will, inhabiting it ceases to be
but Boyz II Men will have their way with your corpse afterward
I'll let it pass
can't I just fuck the Spice Girls and kill myself afterwards
fuck marry kill, Spice Girls, Boyz II Men, Men at Work
the song Freestyler by the group Bomfunk MC's
Since the Sumerian civilization in the Middle East and the Ancient Egyptian along the shore of the Nile, the largest women were found with royal blood or in a king's harem
the song Captain Jack by the group Captain Jack
UPUP V
Toto IV
seeing a recent picture of Karl Marx
seeing a recent picture of Myke Hawke
seeing a recent picture of Michael Stipe
what list
you really need to be on a list
just now realizing that Dot Warner is naked except for the skirt and gloves
Davison v Loudoun County Board of Supervisors
Horatio Bottomley
British politician sex
JENNIEST RECTUMMETRICTON
bottoming for Bottom Shank in Loud Anus
marrying your CRUNK school teacher
fucking your high school teacher
killing your high school teacher
marrying your high school teacher
bottoming for Otm Shank in Big I
from the producer of BABY FOR SALE and THE STORK DERBY and the director of KART RACER and TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III comes WARGAMES COLON THE DEAD CODE
fuck marry kill, Zoltar machine, WOPR from WarGames, Dexter Riley
also there was this really creepy moment where Big is in the car with Big's Adult Girlfriend at the end and she asks if this is where Child Big lives and he says yes and it's all sad and vulnerable and tender, and man, she really needs to be on a list
towards the end of Big I was thinking wow, I am kind of a pathetic out of my depth manchild like this frankly unlovable mess of a man on the screen, but then I got distracted thinking about how badly the introduction of, say, Facebook would ruin the plot
guess I'm the asshole, plus ca change
my daughter won't even look at me now so either she hooked up with my brother at that wedding last week or I'm the asshole
Jennier Aniston cuts off penis and goes on rampage in Chicago
JENNIEST AnistALWAYSon
Jennier Aniston
Naked man cuts off penis and goes on rampage in Chicago
GOP lawmaker on Murkowski colon 'Snatch a knot in their ass'
Findus Crispy Jar Jar
to Jar Jar is always better than to war war
Findus Crispy Swancakes
The Findus Is Swan, Eh
The Unis Find Swan, Eh
The Fiend I Shun Swan
The Fiendish Nu Swan
The Unfine Dish, Swan
the case of the incredible shrinking airline seat
The Nonviolent Swan
fuck marry kill, Louis Theroux, La Roux, Lulu
signed, Louis Theroux
wondering what is more terrifying, being chased around Neverland by the wraith like form of Michael Jackson, or hearing it crying "your butt is mine!" and "I'm going to lock you up!" as it chases you down in a golf cart
President Trump reportedly once summoned former White House chief of staff Reince Priebus to fuck a fly in the Oval Office during a meeting, according to a Friday report
President Trump reportedly once summoned former White House chief of staff Reince Priebus to kill a fly in the Oval Office during a meeting, according to a Friday report
your butt is mine
World's fastest talking man sings Michael Jackson's BAD in XX seconds
these faggots kid fascists
these faggots dog fascists
these faggots thrill fascists
these faggots hold fascists
these faggots kiss fascists
these faggots fuck fascists
these faggots marry fascists
these faggots kill fascists
The Unfinished Swan
Crystal Bernard's St Bernard Bernard Bernard has joined instagram
wait, I want to redo that one
RIP Crystal Bernard like a year from now
that was fast
Crystal Benard's dog St Bernard Bernard has joined instagram
I would tag Crystal Bernard if I were a dog with an Instagram and she was in my pictures
Kento Kento Kento, I made you out of clay, Kento Kento Kento, you're fat Asian and gay
sighing I made it too weird again
fuck marry kill, Lisa from Weird Science, the Devil from Bedazzled, John Milton from The Devil's Advocate bearing in mind he's an older man so he's maybe more experienced, maybe more likely to be a tender lover or a considerate partner generally
alt dot snoutsisvibes dot eh
alt dot obsessive dot unsith
alt dot obsessive dot shutin
I would tag team Crystal Bernard if I were not in a relationship
A good Christian like Crystal does not go around doing what was alleged
#one, her last name was MISSPELLED!! If this woman knew Crystal as well as she claimed, she would not get that detail wrong
Crystal Bernard Persuasion
any fool can see they're falling
fuck marry kill, THREE Cheers, BUFFALO Wings, Fraisier CAKE
Reince Priebus Forced Back Into Ancient Puzzle Box After Being Tricked Into Saying Name Backwards
fancying an Ethiopian
fuck marry kill, Cheers, Wings, Frasier
no one seems to have been particularly surprised at the presence of an 'Ethiopian'
Pokemon When You Were Young and Your Heart Was An Open Book
Pokemon Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
Pokemon Paul McCartney and Wings
sucking your family off and giving your house a permanent orange paint afro
sucking the paint off your house and giving your family a permanent orange afro
slam it to the left if you're having a good time, shake it to the right if you know that you feel fine, chickens to the front, ha ha
yo papa told me during rough sex that you were an accident and he'd never been happy since you were conceived and as your friend i was pretty shocked and dare I say hurt by this emotionally because he was definitely being sincere
yo papa force fed me beef burgundy
bottoming for Beef Burgundy in Beefy Douches VII
boeuf a la douche de Bourgogne
bitte a la duche de Bourgogne
not wanting to eat a dick
my dog underwent gender reassignment surgery
yo papa bruised my pharynx so bad it felt like I'd blown a pony
seeing this advertisement for "Real Gay Sex" and telling the airport cops you just need a new phone every time
yo papa cockslapped me so hard even the walrus was like "dude chill"
yo papa hurt me so bad the catheter I need now keeps filling up with battery acid
yo papa left me with such horrific rectal injuries the police mistakenly arrested Michael Barrymore
yo papa hurt me so bad during rough sex the paramedics the manager of Steak and Shake called thought I was a real girl
wondering if "your dad damaged me during rough sex" jokes will be the new "yo mama so fat" jokes
seeing this advertisement for "Real Galaxy SEight Reviews" and reading it as "Real Gay Sex Reviews" every single time
as green as grass the dead man never stirs
shouting out dick girls
shouting out dank memes
shouting out rude names
hiding out in treetops
playing silly games
dressing up in costumes
fuck Milton Keynes
fuck my keyboard
Pokemon FMK and FML
honestly he's kind of hard work so having two of you would probably be for the best, but then again, maybe you'd just elope with yourself, I don't really know
I'm still weighing the pros and cons of entering into a bigamous marriage with myself and your father
to answer your question, either is fine
I don't see why you shouldn't be expected to remember things that happened half the 'dex ago with perfect clarity
which honestly I thought you posted
seven five eight three two
wondering if "XXX Jewish women" means thirty Jewish women or like really sexually voracious Jewish women
fuck marry kill, you and my dad, my younger, taller brother and my unacknowledged biological daughter slash crush, I don't know, some kind of shockingly sexy pile of XXX Jewish women under XL but also I'm being boiled alive in coffee
he sure did lenny face
my dad drives a Priebus
I ripped my Priebus once, I couldn't pee standing up for a month
White House tensions flare in the open as Scaramucci rips Priebus in vulgar tirade
the death of APRIL ANNEX
the death of MAY INCURSION
the death of June Foray
Bitch I'm the Shit II
bottoming for things in Things You Should Know Before Trying Butt Plugs VII
VII Things You Should Know Before Trying Butt Plugs
Colours of the world! Spice up your life! Every boy and every girl! Spice up your life! Your mum's your dad! Spice up your life! Ahhhhh freak out! Le freak, c'est chic!
if he'd stop ringing that fucking bell the dogs gave him
Pavlov would be proud
you've fucking ruined me, every time I hear or see Roman Polanski's name now I'm either laughing or trying to think of a really tasteless joke
According to Brown's autobiography, they wanted a carnival party theme, but were too tired to fight about it with the label, and ended up with a concept linked to the theme of world domination
having a Spicy Dickgirls Pleasure, the new seafood flavor corn snack from Nam Noms
fuck marry kill, Los Angeles out of Blade Runner, New York out of The Fifth Element, whatever shithole that's supposed to be out of the Spice Up Your Life music video
fuck marry kill, Billie Joe Armstrong, Neil Armstrong, Stretch Armstrong
having a guilty Spice Dickgirls pleasure
having very needy taste in pop
basically just Who Do You Think You Are and Say You'll Be There
not the sexual kind
having a guilty Spice Girls pleasure
it's one small step for man, one giant boner for mankind
This song didn't become an instant classic of its genre merely because Armstrong said the word "masturbation" on the radio, it's all in the delivery
the unemployment masturbation one would probably have been more appropriate than the empty handed platitudes one
Good Riddance Open Parenthesis Time of Your Life Close Parenthesis
never seeing Seinfeld but wondering if the song was Longview, previously Green Day's best song, kind of bass led, and primarily about chronic masturbation
there's this really big dumpster on Fifth
not knowing much about Green Day beyond that song that was in the last episode of Seinfeld and they played at like every graduation for ten years after it came it
wondering what will become of the US Army's storied Fifty Seventh Dickgirl Brigade
strokelike sudden reminiscences
remembering when everybody suddenly liked Green Day and you were like oh cool finally did they put out a great new album or something but it was just the same old crap done as power ballads instead of post punk and you realised you'd outgrown their work
Babadook dook dook push pineapple shake the tree
You Can't Actually Love Patty Jenkins Films Without Understanding Queer Icon The Babadook
wondering if it is Too Soon for a snack brand bringing the flavors of South East Asia to the Western world, Nam Noms
doe, a deer, an LGBTQ deer
Kidstuffer Lydon
Kid Fisto
I have had it with these dogfucking students on these dogfucking trains
I have had it with these kidfucking teachers on these kidfucking planes
A teacher who had sex with a student in a plane toilet on a school trip has been banned from the profession
Liger Moms
Kento, the arse that never sleeps
he could have been a liger
said Kento, never
my arse has gone to sleep
Cecil the lion's brother Jericho, who is also a lion
I didn't really have a joke there, it just sounds funny, "booby hatch"
repealing Senator Booby Hatch
Senator Hatch's full comments on the issue of transgender Americans in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
The Muntjack Boys brand consists of masturbation sleeves and dildos molded from the bodies of gay deer
Senator Hatch's full comments on the issue of transgender Americans in the military
good for them
The Fleshjack Boys brand consists of masturbation sleeves and dildos molded from the bodies of gay pornstars
you're ucking kidding
it's not that, there was only one f
THE COVENANT
NO NO NO NO NO NO
Your potential regret of NO NO NO NO NO has already been added!
not actually knowing how many stroopjafels you've eaten today, but it being a number between seven and two, because there are still some left
not actually knowing how many stroopwafels you've eaten today, but it being a number between seven and two, because there are still some left
having been home for like a week and already having spooned like three entire Jewels of cheez tits
gnome milk today, my lover's gotta wait
having been home for like a week and already having eaten like three entire boxes of cheez its
Dickelback Girl
Nickelback Girl Man held after deadly king cobras smuggled into US in potato chip cans
sorry, I'll use simpler words next time
I could be slow I don't know you just went over my head I don't understand a word you just said
maple leaf muscle is who you need to look up
Pokemon I'm A Genetic Freak and I'm Not Normal
Scott Steiner's Math Promo Sacrifice
too bad its in Japanese i wanna know what he said to make pepper go all OoO i'm guessing it had to do with kids aha
Oxnard and Pepper are going to get married and all the Ham Hams are happy to watch Oxnard and Pepper get married
As long as Skittering Crustacean is monstrous, it has hexproof
topping for Samuel L Jackson in Snake in the Cans but having all your scenes cut from it before it was released as just another Die Hard movie
The Motherfucking Cans of Benjamin Buttocks
I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in these motherfucking cans
winning first place for Most Likely To Suffer Severe Neurological Failure Licking The Inside Of A Pringles Can Male with seventeen votes
These "Snake in the Cans" are getting harder and harder to pull off on someone
party snakes
Nickelback Girl
Man held after deadly king cobras smuggled into US in potato chip cans
Nickelback Cage, Marvel superhero
simultaneously serving as jailer to and bottoming for Nickelback in Nickelback Cage
I would watch that
a live action remake of Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas featuring Shaq Skellington
mainly because you've come to think of it as a place where you converse with only one other person, even if that probably isn't strictly true
finding it weird when British spellings and idioms appear in regrets from before you began posting on the amazing Regret Index
Then comes Sir Walter Scott with his enchantments, and by his single might checks this wave of progress, and even turns it back
jouer aux boules dans le defile avec vos balles en defile
Black v The Queen
The Guinness World Records named the Touhou Project as the "worlds blithest fanmade cobra boner series"
The Guinness World Records named the Touhou Project as the "worlds most prolific fanmade shooter series"
junking Jewel's bonds
junkillating Jewel's tits
tits for your junkillation
junk for your titillation
in the summer time, when Phil Collins is next
Phil Collins is next!
can we just please go one day without you asking me to grab my junk for your titillation
licking another man's genitals in a nonsexual way, no homo
grab your things, I've come to take you home
Yojimbo Wales, look Yojimbo
Yojimbo Wales
Olive Empoylee
the world's blithest GI JOE boners
the world's boniest brothel crabs
the world's best bronco herbalist
the world's blithest cobra boners
the world's noblest rose bra bitch
the traditional Mystery Screws
the world's shortest ribbon cable
The Designated Ugly Fat Friend found in a group of walruses out on the town
a person, now often elderly, who is incompetent, ineffectual, or dawdling
The Designated Ugly Fat Friend found in a group of girls out on the town
it was probably one of Kento's clique talking about fucking duffers
overhearing one stranger say to another "you've got to buff that fucker" in public and really wanting to go back and listen to more of what they were talking about
I already have the fanart drawn
dang, I was hoping you would say you wanted to be in a threeway with Taylor Swift and Thomas the Tank Engine, Tim Allen noise
fuck marry and kill 'em all, god will know his own
fuck marry kill, Taylor Swift, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor, Jonathan Swift, Thomas Swift, Thomas the Tank Engine, please choose two for each
Duritz was reported to be CARBON dating SOCIOPATHIC actress OSCAR POSSUM
Duritz was reported to be dating Shameless actress Emmy Rossum
FU Comcast
Adam Levine's five disc concept album about that time a female Comcast empoylee put him on hold for almost three minutes while she corrected his bill and gave him six months free cable to make up for the error, but he didn't think she sounded sincere
being allowed to choose five celebrities you're allowed to kill when there were only four Golden Girls
fuck marry kill, Adam Duritz, Adam Levine, Adam Ant
flyin' 'cross the land, tryin' to get a ham, playin' in a travellin' band
The Five Celebrities You Bang In Heaven
liking your women like you like your meat, cut up in Adam Duritz's chili
There's a piece of Maria in every chili that I cook
There's a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
Enhanced Controls Needed for Access to Excess Controlled Property cutting up Maria
Enhanced Controls Needed for Access to Excess Controlled Property
cutting up Maria
man I wish I was beautiful
Mr Jones and me, licking each other's genitals in a nonsexual way
it's the eye of the tiger it's the thrill of the tiger rising up to the challenge of our tiger
so many tigers, it happens to tigers
entering into a full multi year physical and emotional relationship with another man in a nonsexual way
swiping right on another man's profile, meeting up with him, having sex with him and never calling him again in a nonsexual way
The Million Man Lick
that's easy, done it a million times
tricking a straight man into licking another straight man's genitals in a nonsexual way
dusting and polishing mixing boards
jubilant rape scat
jubilant ape scat
It says something that the strongest number is practically lyricless, an ape party consisting of jubilant scat singing
Review Colon Even Phil Collins' mediocre songs can't dampen this 'Tarzan'
RIP LORD Snooty AND HIS PALS
thank you Taco for that loving tribute to Falco
the weird EXODUS phase your LARGE brother went through around age FOUR PI, wherein he became an aficionado of EXODUS and bought everything they had produced on LASERDISC, including GALOSHESCROTCHES
plus all the crap Phil Collins ever dropped
the weird Genesis phase your little brother went through around age eleven, wherein he became an aficionado of Genesis and bought everything they had produced on CD, including bootlegs
wandering to the youtube video for Sussudio and noticing that you disliked it already, which must have been like at least five years ago
I'm just going to assume that's a fisting joke
she reaches in and grabs right hold of Myke Hawke
she seems to have an invisible tush
wondering how many victims of Phil Collins' sexual advances have been ignored due to his invisible bad touch
licking another man's waffle iron in a pansexual way
there's this one dog in a GENESIS car barking right at the start with an invisible touch
licking another dog's genitals in a nonsexual way
there's this one dog in a police car barking right at the start with a visible erection
finding the depiction of suburban nineteen eighties dogs in the opening of YUGE to be absolutely fucking insufferable
finding the depiction of suburban nineteen eighties kids in the opening of Big to be absolutely fucking insufferable
licking another man's genitals in a nonconsensual way
Snooty McSnootyface
RIP Snooty
The South Florida Museum announced that Snooty the manatee has died at sixty nine
Men Arena, coming this fall to Fox!
men ARENA, typically for sexual encounters
men, typically for sexual encounters
women, typically for sexual encounters
guessing that the fewer keys a laptop has the lower the load on memory
that your janky laptop which is either five or seven years old now, you genuinely forget, can load the entire list of regrets, but the word cloud site you were using to check weightings can't load the entire list any more, and hasn't been able to for ages
no one dare disturb the sound of siege tanks
the sound of siege tanks
just now realizing that the laptop you got a year and a half ago has the power to load the entire list of regrets, unlike your old one
killing the Newfoundland and Labrador girls
breeding a cross Labradildo
breeding a Labradildo cross
Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador this place turns honest men to thieves
Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador
this place turns honest men to thieves
trust me, they don't need to practice
the practice of leks of walruses who target overweight or obese men, typically for sexual encounters
the practice of groups of men who target overweight or obese women, typically for sexual encounters
Bob Loblaw's Dogging Blog
Kid With A Butt Blog
Kid With A Butt Plug
snarfs TWICE your girth
snarfs half your girth
snarfs half your age
snaus half your age
snausages
the remote and fairly insane possibility that your unacknowledged daughter might be at the same wedding as your younger, taller brother today
Cocoa Police Chief Mike Cantaloupe
An event wherein a person who has recently defecated, requests a rimjob from another person
wanting to just smile and give Kento a vegemite sandwich for his birthday
desktop is fine
just not feeling any need for a constant stream of "just LOOK at what THESE ASSHOLES did NOW" right to your pocket
giving up mobile twitter because twitter is a fairly depressing serving of politics for you
not having used Echofon in a while but not recalling it serving Twitter ads and being pretty sure there's an ad free upgrade to the basic version
Fifty Shades of Gold
Dog With A Butt Plug
These boys thought they'd found 'a big, fat rotten cow'
If you've ever been harmed by Korean ramen, this ad is for you
Dog With A Restraining Order
She has no boobs at all i just want her to grow some boobs so i can titie fuck her and her pussy and make her cum hard and she will suck my cock so hard she will suck the sperm out of it thats all repla
not being able to dismiss ads on twitter anymore so you just block whatever account gives you an ad
Coffee with Viagralike ingredient recalled after FDA discovery
bottoming for Dick "Hammer" Bumhard in I Don't Have a Joke Prepared VII
Richard Bernard "Dick" Hammer
He exuded an overtly sexual, macho cool with his flowing locks, and lithe and exuberant stage movements
Miley Cyrus was talking at the cloning center last night, saying that she is going to be needing songs and that I WILL be making them
Lassie currently weighs over two hundred and fifty pounds
Dog With a Fat Fetish Wiki
Dog With A Picture Of Kento Being Eiffel Towered By Chris Lydon And A Walrus
Dog With An Amazing Regret Index
Dog With A Celebrity Height Guide
Dog With A Twitch Stream
Dog With An Instagram
Dog With A Yelp Following
Dog With A High TripAdvisor Rating
Toilet Cum Whores Clan, for the budget StarBangers experience
Toilet Cum Whores Clan might make mistakes every now and then but they're good people
Toilet Cum Whores Clan has since cancelled the fine and apologised
Tower Hamlets Council has since cancelled the fine and apologised
Celebrity Butt Size Guide
shittin' here eating Myke Hawke out waiting
sittin' here eating my heart out waiting
Celebrity Height Guide
Francesca Capaldi also starred in Dog with a Blog, another of my airplane favorites, which is one of the best shows ever made about a dog with a blog
fuck marry kill, Fracesca Capaldi, Chester Bennington, zombie Jane Austen
there are now two keys missing from my keyboard, it's very distracting
Francesca Capaldi, Zane Austin love interest
wowee
Francesca Capaldi, Chester Bennington, Zane Austin love interest
anyway, yesterday on the airplane I watched Max II Colon White House Hero which is an amazing and wonderful piece of shit and you should totally watch it
The Crocodile Hunter Colon Collision Course
a country where professions like "rain man", "horse whisperer" and "crocodile dundee" are common
a country where professions like "rain man", "ghost whisperer" and "crocodile charmer" are common
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Hulk Dookie
your phone having learned Kento, but also to put smearing after Kento
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Steve Jobs and like a million ants
topping for Michael J Fox in I See You Baby, Shaking That Ass VII
bottoming for My Cool Gay Fox in Arch Your Back In Future VII
APPLE Watch ants build a 'miraculous' living Eiffel Tower
jokes that are either Kento or Woodsy Alan
putting your foot in your mouth so often that you're worried about stomatoes
the death of Best Gent Corn Inn, eh
bottoming for Huge Ackman in Entering the Cyclops VII
entering the WOLVERINE
Nobody's entering me
entering the Cyclops, if you know what I mean
Sometimes when entering the Cyclops, the AI will say "You are the best captain on this planet, I'm not even squidding"
Watch DECS build a 'miraculous' living Eiffel Tower
Watch ants build a 'miraculous' living Eiffel Tower
I'm not your chaps, assless
I'm not your bloke, chap
I'm not your guy, mate
I'm not your mate, guy
wondering if you have any great recipes for mates too
one of the greatest living authors
Chester Bennington, Jane Austen love interest
He's a great guy, Smart, Strong, Loves holding my hand
as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared, but in the end, it didn't really matter
Mr Bennington, who was known for his piercing scream and free flowing anguish
Chester Bennington, I hardly know 'er!
the death of Chester Bennington
we didn't Eiffel Tower, it was always burning since the world's been turning
we didn't Eiffel Tower, we're just shrewd observers of the strange and perverse
Trainy McTrainface
he do his scat, splat
he cast his last pod
he died how he lived, facefucking an obese Asian man
RIP Chris Lydon
feeling like Chris Lydon has got another two or three years in him at most, and all these rough sex regrets are going to be even weirder when they're about a dead guy
Leeloo L E L O Leeloo le le le le Leeloo Dallas MultiPass
realising during your shower that if terrorists were to destroy the Eiffel Tower tomorrow, a large proportion of the amazing Regret Index would suddenly be in very poor taste indeed
having a light pink voice
Lolo L O L O Lolo lo lo lo lo Lolo
Sex Change Record Colon Kink Speaks
Lola L O L A Lola la la la la Lola
having a dark brown voice
bottoming for Tgirl Rex in JurASSic Parts VII
Dickgirli Chickifela
Lorie Slenderswan
Lorie Slenderman
DEEP FRIED VETERAN FLOOZIES
fried green tomatoes
wondering if you have any great recipes for TOMATOES
preferably ones thar don't involve volume measures in a different obsolescent system to the obsolescent system I'm used to, unless they're super amazing
wondering if you have any great recipes for tomatillos
having your vagina amputated by Wolf Tribs
having your penis amputated by Dog Scissors
having your penis amputated by Kid Rock
then why do you keep catching the matinee show every week
what you jack off to is none of my business
I'm not your mom, you don't have to lie about stuff that shows up in your search history to me
legitimately getting a fatworld image in the second line of a desktop Google image search and recognising it for what it was before you moused over to confirm the url
Girli Chickifela
Lorie Sisterman
wanting to peel Kento's grapes for his birthday
wanting to plant a seed in Kento's mudhole for his birthday
wanting to mow Kento's lawn for his birthday
mee'ing 'er a' 'he plane'arium
Grover Cleveland, I only just me 'er
Looso Stool, Jedi master
your little furry pal with benefits, Grover
lease steal
fock morro koll, Korbon Dollos, Corbon Bornson, Joromo Corbon
loose stool
fuck marry kill, Elmo, Grover, Cookie Monster
SUBORBITAL Sanders
Orbital Sanders
Barefoot AND PREGNANT Sanders
into temptation, over in doubt
Barefoot Sanders
fuck marry kill, Colonel Sanders, Bernie Sanders, Charles Sanders
fuck marry kill, Korben Dallas, Corbin Bernsen, Jeremy Corbyn
standing over cajeta
Toolor Swoft
mo ponk wonk, mo problems
Mo Ponk Wonk, podracing champion
Mo Ponk Wonk
My Brown Crown
My Pank Wank
My Pink Wink
the death of Taylor Swift
I thought she might have been dead
finding it really difficult to care either way about Taylor Swift things
rubbing one out in the Texas School Book Depository
doing Dallas without lubrication
Taylor Swift NOT Carried In Suitcase Out Of Apartment, Despite Reports
doing it without lucubration
In an attempt to end hostilities, Bill Cosby spoke on the NBC affiliate television station KNBC and asked people to stop what they were doing and instead watch the final episode of The Cosby Show
Irish neutrality
Chicago is now the largest place in the country to eradicate wealth based detention
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE BOVINE COLON THERE IS ONLY LAW
Coworker put his ork in my cow colon lawsuit
we would not have screened anyone he was meeting with at the time
Coworker put his penis in my lunch sandwich colon lawsuit
if you mess with the woggle you're gonna get the horns
taking the woggle by the horns
sucking more than a cowboy's horse but less than Custer's one night stand
morning came into my room, caught me dreaming like a fool
The song was used in the season five Scrubs episode "My Chopped Liver", when JD dreams that Turk gives him his bottom
NDAs of
Gnus of Discontent
TROMPE L'OEIL steaks
we barely not sold any actually no steaks
we literally almost sold no steaks
Anus of Discontent
Whitmore v Arkansas
the death of Martin Landau
Meat from the animals, which came from Portugal and several parts of northern Spain, was processed and sent to Belgium, a major horsemeat exporter
the death of George Romero being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by Springsteen
the death of George Romero
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by Springsteen
my kisses used to turn you inside out
Owen Wilson, but all of the words he says are replaced by something neither pretentious nor moronic
Home Improvement but all of the Tim Allen noises are replaced by Chewbacca noises
Star Wars, but all of the light saber sounds are Tim Allen noises
wishing that there were a way in or out of Ely by road that isn't absolute dogshit
Star Wars, but all of the light saber sounds are Owen Wilson saying "wow"
Pokemon Blokes and Ho Row
hookin' with Julio down by de schoolyard
Hookin' With Julio
best Pokemon game ever
Pokemon Hookers and Blow
wondering how much James Dyson and or Dyson executives have spent on hookers and blow since the early nineteen nineties
feeling bad enough when your money was just going to buy George Lucas more chin fattening grease, and definitely not wanting to give Disney executives any more hookers & coke money after their stash from Frozen runs dry
topping for Releif Eriksson in A Whole New World VII
spelling releif
thinking of several things you'd shell out two hundred big ones to releive
thinking of several things you'd shell out two hundred big ones to relive
still not seeing The Force Awakens or Rue e Goon and feeling like not seeing them is simply petulance on your own part
"When you step in to the world, you're the pathetic manchild willing to shell out two hundred big ones to relive his childhood for a few hours," Chris Beatty, Disney Imagineer and executive director of the new expansions said
"When you step in to the world, you're the hero," Chris Beatty, Disney Imagineer and executive director of the new expansions said
Star Wars Colon Galaxy's Edge
RHOMBICOSIDODECAHEDRONING Jewel's CENTER OF GRAVITY
PENTAGONAL PRISMING Jewel's LUNGS
cubing Jewel's boobs
intubating Jewel's boobs
lubing Jewel's boobs
The New Gidget
Coolin' With Pussio
Black Scottish people
playing DayZ with Jay Z
Jaywalkin' With Jay Z
Coolin' With Cookio
Cookin' With Coolio
the death of Imam "Hazy" Mark Iran
the death of Maryam Mirzakhani
I'll be the judge of that, signed, Dickgirl Rachel Stevens
Myke Hawke is too big
making Kento a peanut buster parfait for his birthday
eating a peanut buster parfait makes me feel good
eating a peanut buster parfait
I wouldn't rub dick ball groin in my house, hon
listening to your brother explaing why his Hotmail account is still going and how you have to get the country code right or some Chinese guy gets the messages instead
One of the things with the wall is you need transparency
I wouldn't drink rubbing alcohol in my house
Operation Swill
Just like you have seen in the movie, there will be very shoort and Scientological men from all over the world serving drinks, dancing on the bar, and doing the most funniest and unimaginable things
VERY PREETY plumcots
keep on rapping cause that's my dream
A smoking, drinking, and perverted gray stuffed bunny who lives in the Malloy basement, often discussing his life in "the toy bin", his success stories with women, or ranting about cynical topics
Mario C likes to keep it clean!
reverse cowdickgirl
fuck marry kill, Joe C, Mario C, CC Peniston
PRETTY plumcots
Just like you have seen in the movie, there will be very preety and sensual women from all over the world serving drinks, dancing on the bar, and doing the most funniest and unimaginable things
if Kid Rock sees his own shadow when he emerges from his hole there will be four more years of Florida
fuck marry kill, The Rock, Kid Rock, Rock Hudson
plumcots
Joe C and Gary Coleman dueled while Ron Jeremy pretended to do the piano solo
sucking more than a cowdickgirl's horse
wired sith
weird shit
sucking a cowboy's horse but nothing more, you're not into any weird shit
how clear it is that dickgirl Clarissa Dickson Wright's dick's on right
not knowing how many children Beyonce has but guessing a number between twelve and thirty because you kind of remember her being pregnant several times over what feels like decades
Pokemon Sir Carter and Rumi
worst Pokemon game ever
Pokemon Britain is Incapable of Managing Brexit and Calamity Will Follow
Sarjenka
stealing dickgirl Nikki Cox's penis
carrying Jim Carrey to the gym
assuming, that is, that it can avoid predators, such as this capulas mensam
freed from the confines of its old shell, this hallux is able to grow to almost twice its previous size before its new shell hardens
learning that it takes about four months for the nail on your big toe to completely replace itself
regrets about Guns n Roses being
regrets about Guns n Roses eating
regrets about Guns n Roses sucking
regrets about cowboy's horse sucking
where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise plant breeder's rights
loquats
omentum
where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence
Plant breeders' rights
Britain is incapable of managing Brexit and calamity will follow
Upon exiting the stage, Axl Rose shouted to fans to have a good day and "maybe bring crullers next time," but was unaware of the buffet in the dressing room at the time
Upon exiting the stage, Axl Rose shouted to fans to have a good day and "don't kill yourselves," but was unaware of the deaths at the time having not actually seen the Wild Wild West
Upon exiting the stage, Axl Rose shouted to fans to have a good day and "don't kill yourselves," but was unaware of the deaths at the time
having not actually seen the Wild Wild West
you don't wanna see my hand where my horse be at
Twink's Arboretum and Inhouse
regrets about hamboning
Bear's Arboretum and Outhouse
BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse
Data's Log Cabin
Riker's Island
MTA Bone II Colon Lost In New York
regrets about MTA boning, I'm walkin' here
regrets about Homer boning Bart
regrets about BART boning
seeing a clip of that Noah crapfest and thinking it seems pretty much like the movie Sauron supporters would have turned Lord of the Rings into
regrets about Homer boning
regrets about lamb boning
Leonardo Retardo
wanting to make Kento a Turkey Devonshire sandwich for his birthday, yinzer
wanting to make Kento city chicken for his birthday
being first pleasured, then tortured, the killed by a leg of lamb
beating a leg of lamb on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly
slowly, sensually, seductively boning a leg of lamb
carefully boning a leg of lamb
I've got nothing against faggots, I just don't fancy them
colonial goose
Pokemon Neeps and Tatties
taking a selfie of Myke Hawke
The United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit in San Francisco hears a case on whether or not a Celebes crested macaque owns their selfie
using the word "waffletastic" banging a Tim Burton heroine sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm
bottoming for William Carlos Williams in kitchen shenanigans
the pretty plum is for popping up your bum
and the pretty plum I ordered was way too sweet
I ordered the kneidlach and they gave me kreplach and then they got all mashugana when I kvetched, qapla
I don't know, human contact sounds pretty plum to me
trust me, it wasn't worth the trouble
if you've gotta go, go with a smile
that was exactly what I ordered
getting a blue lobster from dickgirl Natalie Portman in the dumpster behind Yonah Shimmel's Knish Bakery, oy vey
ridged for his pleasure
choking on his or her penis
Homo Bono
Homer Bone
yeah, Eleanor is a bitch
she also called me a racist
I ordered one from Eleanor but apparently it wasn't kosher so it never happened
you've obviously never received a blue lobster
having never understood the attraction of recreational use of nitrous oxide
because rats like us, maybe we were sworn to run
This is subject to subject and cannot be guaranteed
Brick Springhorn and the Tenth Avenue Band
with a rebel yell, honk honk honk
Kento getting a tattoo on his ass that reads "FREE BIRD SEED" with an arrow pointing to his asshole
Kento getting a tattoo on his ass that reads "ALL YOU CAN EAT" with an arrow pointing to his asshole
Kento's ass opening up in a restaurant
Silver Throat, Colon, Bill Cosby Stings
opening up a restaurant in Kento's ass
the activity in which a girl will do nitrous and give head to a guy until she literally dies choking on his or her penis and then you take a picture
Macron to treat Trump to blue lobster in plush Eiffel Tower restaurant
rubbing one out in the early aughts
There's nothing that fifteen thousand men or more could ever do
It is my opinion that no fifteen thousand men ever arrayed for battle can take that position
Bill Cosby Talks to Lawyers About Cruel Anal
Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Cruel Anal
Bill Cosby Talks to Labs About Cruel Anal
Bill Cosby Talks to Dogs About Drugs
Silver Throat Colon Bill Cosby Sings
Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs
Prude Syphon Raping Center v Robins
Pruneyard Shopping Center v Robins
Kirk & Spock ride the bus
Star Trek Colon The Wrath of Sulu
wondering if there was ever a time since the late nineteen forties when New York real estate was not valuable
topping for F Scott Dracula in F F Scott Dracula
bottoming for F Scott Dracula in The Very Hungry Gatsby Killer
suggesting to a young Scott Bakula that Enterprise will totally be the best Star Trek series ever, go for it
suggesting to a young Larry Craig that he should probably stay away from Minnesota airport restrooms
suggesting to a young Elizabeth Windsor that ruling Britain could have a future in it
suggesting to a young Olsen twin that acting might be a route towards becoming a drug dealer
suggesting to a young John Fitzgerald Kennedy that politics might be a career path
so I guess we know who's to blame for this
Because of the time travel aspect, many episodes allude to famous people or incidents indirectly, such as Sam suggesting to young Donald Trump that New York real estate will be valuable in the future
Colorado Beatle Hears the News Today 'Oh Boy' as Steps Into the Quantum Leap Accelerator and vanishes
Colorado Beatle Hears the News Today 'Oh Boy' as He Wakes Up, Falls Out of Bed, Drags a Comb Across His Head
Colorado Beetle Hears 'Crunching Sound' as He Awakes to Lebia grandis Biting His Head
bottoming for the three muskehounds in Barbie and the Three Muskehounds
being John Malkovich eating bees
bottoming for the three musketeers in Barbie & The Three Musketeers
Colorado Teen Hears 'Crunching Sound' as He Awakes to Twink Biting His Head
Barbie & The Three Musketeers
Penn State frat where NJ teen died could become eating club
little ditty, 'bout Bishop Doane, Presidential guinea pig doing the best he can
Colorado Teen Hears 'Crunching Sound' as He Awakes to Bear Biting His Head
we elected the wrong Carter
Admiral Dewey, Bishop Doane, Dr Johnson, Father O'Grady, Fighting Bob Evans
that Donald Trump is the first US President since James K Polk to not have any known pets
When John Williams found out about pony blowing, he knew it would be perfect for his orchestra
When John Williams found out about goat yoga, he knew it would be perfect for his orchestra
When Paul Williams found out about goat yoga, he knew it would be perfect for his cemetery
"The medics pulled my pants down and there was blood everywhere," he recalls, adding he avoided serious injury because the horn came near his anus and testicles but missed them
After many years of silence, around the same time as the Fifth Holy Grail War would have happened, the Yggdmillennia, a family of magi, openly declares their secession from the Mage's Association, and that they are in possession of the Grail
The first episode focuses on Haru, a girl who transforms into a fighter jet while trying to catch a hat blowing away in the wind
Minnesota Vikings Sex Boat Colon The Next Wave
Love Boat Colon The Next Wave
Kerbal Space Program
you can blame Brexit for that, I think
which is bullshit
I never saw that show and Eleanor keeps saying they don't ship internationally
I heard that there's a good deal on the seventh runner up from season three of Flavor of Love, you might want to check that out
on the other hand, Meatball Parade
Gimli hasn't called in years
I was even saying I'd take something from the discount section which is like failed Apprentice contestants from ten years ago but apparently that's no good
at least you still have Gerri
Eleanor can be such a bitch sometimes
I was making a chocolate roulade for a bunch of old people because I'm an idiot
in unrelated news, pretty sure Deli Daughter hates or pities but finds me repulsive and is now just being professional, Homeless Magazine Girl is probably getting deported after Brexit and it's heartbreaking, and Eleanor is still refusing my vouchers
were you at least going to draw a dick in icing on it or something
oh, that's not sexy at all
I was supposed to make a cake but for some reason totally forgot about chocolate seizing
just wanting to confirm that "the plan" was to sprink the chocolate onto her breasts as you kneaded them, then presumably lick the melted chocolate off
letting me get some action from the back section
not wanting to say to someone "you can't melt that chocolate properly because it's too humid, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge" and thereby depress them, and so ruining the chocolate and the plan
not wanting to say to someone "you can't melt that chocolate properly because it's too humid" and thereby depress them, and so ruining the chocolate and the plan, thereby depressing them
not wanting to say to someone "you can't melt that chocolate properly because it's too humid" and thereby depress them, and so ruining the chocolate and the plan
sprinking makes me feel good
bursting makes me feel good
Weber Cooks
Bursting BBC
Xplosovo Pozzo
Bursting BBW
Sprinking Sour Cream & Onion
slamming her left one until she had a sour cream & onion
slamming your sour cream & onion in the car door
Slamming Sour Cream & Onion, if you know what I mean
Slamming Sour Cream & Onion
Bursting BBQ
Xplosive Pizza
you're doing it wrong
wondering why they call it a blow job when you're not blowing into anything
wondering why the call those orange fish "goldfish"
spoonong Jowol's boobs
a Hoth native destroyed an airship while being transported over Theed, a wampa balloon pop atop Naboo
breaking that girl's legs in the communal shortening room
breaking up with mama's little baby because she didn't believe you when you said your cookie recipe was better with butter than with shortening
bowdlerizing Jewel
Spoonerizing Bewel's Joobs
when you're near the rain just disappears, dear
you're gonna miss me by walk, you're gonna miss me by taco
spooting Jewel's hooners
hooting Jewel's spooners
I'm going to miss you sinking your fingertips into my inches, but if that's how you feel, I guess it can't be helped
I CAN'T WAKE UP
WAKE ME UP
spooning Jewel's hooters
you've said goodbye, too many times before
there's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
couldn't love you more
Darude Sandstorm speeding up with every "DuDuRuDuDu"
Smashmouth Recreated From Windows XP Sounds
bad moon white again
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe in you, believe in herself, or know that you believe in love, der der du du du
SEINFELD x SMASHMOUTH MASHUP
Nazi WHYCAN'TWEBEFRIENDSS
a crossover remake of War Of The Worlds and A Case Of Spring Fever, No Shields
watching Rambo II with Raimbaut II
going all the way to Orange County and not meeting the Count of Orange
Easy "Free Form" Strawberry Tart
the town appears to have recovered well from the monorail disaster, as it is now changed from a ghost town to a thriving community with multiple businesses Bart enjoys
laughing at the thought of that crying guy with the funny looking face in The OC, which is the only imagery you remember from the show besides some obvious adults pretending to be kids at a party
all the hooters in Hooterville
They are strong in numbers in such California communities as Riverdale, Brockway, Ogdenville, Hooterville, District XII, and North Haverbrook
laughing at the thought of a meth peddling gang in The OC, then remembering that Disneyland is also there
They are strong in numbers in such California communities as Oildale, Bakersfield, Lancaster, Inland Empire, Rosamond and Orange County
Axl Rose producing unstoppable bacteria
Oral sex producing unstoppable bacteria
Nazi Lowriders
plunge
plush flush snake, Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, Gonzo
bottoming for Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, and Gonzo in Gonzo Guano Plumbers VII
finding out in the course of researching a fake porno title joke about plumbers that Gonzo from the Muppets is a plumber by trade
I'll take whatever consequences come my way but I'd be shocked if this went as far as court
Campbell said it wasn't evidence of anything except that a Japanese ship, the Koshu Maru which is rumoured to have taken the Americans to Saipan, an island further north was once in Jaluit Harbour
gorgies
fancying a Chinese bloody hard
Occasional British English spelling and terminology such as the phrase "bloody hard" in both source code comments and forum postings led to speculation that Nakamoto, or at least one individual in the consortium claiming to be him, was of Commonwealth ori
A priest is arrested and questioned over an alleged drug induced gay orgy hosted in his apartment in the Vatican City
The Trippy Show
booting tech in Tooting Bec
where the fruit is as sweet as can be
testifying about the taste of money
Tooting Bec tube station
Queer Lucid Soil buys Guano Plumber
an anti drugs morality play based on The Tripods, The Trip OD's
Cirque du Soleil buys Blue Man Group
tooting Beck's bra in a Tooting Bec bar
tooting that girl's bra in the communal laundry room
the kike known as Bra Toots, eh
the kike known as Sabretooth
CENTRAL Jewel
Doctors warn against new trend of women putting BATTLEFIELD EARTH in their vagina
Doctors warn against new trend of women putting glitter in their vagina
Eastern Jewel
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe you when you said your pussy recipe was better with LENGTHENING than with butter
Sisyphus making an endless fuss about sissies
rendering the fat from bresaola in a frying pan to make a bacon substitute
shit on a shingle
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe you when you said your cookie recipe was better with LENGTHENING than with butter
John Carpenter's Escape from Lou Albano
John Carpenter's Escape from Louisiana
playing telephone with Myke Hawke
the sorbet is OK, I'm not sure about the peppers in drool
sounds like a nice dinner
sialogogy
elderflower sorbet
sambuca
banana peppers
Florida gun sits on man, shoots penis in self, police say
Florida man sits on gun, shoots self in penis, police say
fuck marry kill, Jewel Kilcher, Cybill Shepherd, Jewel Shepard
starting a cow electrocution business with loans from Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis, Moo Lightning
starting a ruminant veterinary hospital with a grant from Cybill Shepherd, Cybill Shepherd's Sterile Sheep Ward
starting a website dedicated to exposing every time Cybill Shepherd ever misspoke or said something she didn't really mean because she was put on the spot and it sounded good, Cybill Shepherd's Febrile, Cheap Words
starting a heterosexual fan forum for Cybill Shepherd, Cybill Shepherd's Cyber Chap Herd
Pokemon Grosset and Dunlap
Mr Burns have lots of books in his Library, and one of these were Clue in The Clock
HanAssholeSolo, dildo smuggler
starting a love train, love train
HanAssholeSolo, roguish smuggler
HanAssholeSolo
as bumless ox
buxom lasses
bottoming for Nina Semen in My Baby Don't Walk Right For Days VII
Crescentia alata
secretly pretending to be one of those hissy dinosaurs when you yawn
Seedless bananas and grapes are triploids, and seedlessness results from the abortion of the embryonic plant that is produced by fertilization, a phenomenon known as stenospermocarpy, which requires normal pollination and fertilization
cucurbits
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the toothpaste into the asshole trope
if there's a minty fresh center to Kento's ass you're in the place it's farthest from
shaking your groove thing
if there's a dark center to Kento's ass you're in the place it's farthest from
if there's a bright center to the universe you're in the place it's farthest from
bullseyeing womp rats in Kento's canyon in your Tsixteen back home
in Ikedan legend the Fissure Kento, or the Wounded Kento, is the last in a long line charged with keeping the walrus satisfied
CANYON Kento
fissure, I hardly know 'er
FISSURE Kento
RIP Kento
the last sentence Kento ever said was "I like buttsex"
the first sentence Kento ever said was "I like buttsex"
a Studio Ghibli slash Jurassic Park crossover sequel, Isla Nublar Totoro
the first sentence Caroline ever said was "I like butter"
a male duck stole a potted herb for a conversational companion but after many hours of trying could elicit no response, it was the thyme of no reply
spending ten minutes chasing down a Kento hole that was actually an anuseportal you forgot about
spending ten minutes chasing down a BSP hole that was actually an antiportal you forgot about
Melissa Villasenor stars in this fall's hit new comedy, Basterisktch, Don't Touch That! only on NBC
wondering how frequently the Pope or the Dalai Lama or people like that jack off
fuck marry kill, Angela Lansbury, Julie Andrews, Betty White
He was subjected to sadistic ragging and in the postmortem a large quantity of tooth paste was found in his rectum
Cast are given the option of rejecting the first two sitcom offers but must accept the third offer, with the sitcom contract length dictated by NBC and potentially lasting up to six years
it had some good ideas, but yeah pretty much
Babylon V is a big pile of shit
Fozzbox
Bononoromo
longoogo
drawing a picture of David Tomlinson unloading anything but anything for Angela Lansbury at the bar in UKAI
anything but anything a chap can unload
my mother was right about you
you never take me anywhere nice
it's not a very nice restaurant if that's what you're worried about
I thought you were only interested in watching me jack off, and I'm certainly not going to do that in a restaurant
there's a nice place down the street from me that makes a great lonkon pork if you fancy a Chinese
Lonkon Pork
Korn
Sogor Roo
Smosh Mooth
Tho Spoco Gorls
Somon ond Gorfonkol
Hoort
Chocogo, do Boors
Omoroco
Lod Zoppolon
Tho Grootfol Dood
Tho Bootlos
Tho Poloco
Blor
Oosos
Rodoohood
Coldploo
going down on Julie Andrews and Raul Julia down by the schoolyard
Qooon
Potshop Boos Geldof
J Gools Bond
Mongo Jorro
Potshop Boos
Doxo's Modnoght Ronnors
such pretty flowers
Whom!
Stong
Gonosos
going down on Julie and Julia down by the schoolyard
Potor Gobrool
tracking down a render killing actor in a map nobody but you will ever see for a game nobody has played in a decade, by a laborious process of elimination and testing, zone by zone and class by class
Phol Collons
going down on Julio down by the schoolyard
bottoming for Schlong Lloyd Wright in Hillside Homo School II
sooooooo long, so long
asking Paul Simon if Frank Lloyd Wright was just long, or girthy too
Dr Phil with no dialogue, just reactions
taxiderming a Chinese
fancying a Chinese
Man accused of abducting Chinese grad student had visited kidnap fetish website, feds say
vegaxi
vegan taxidermy
turning off Entrapment after ten minutes because it's OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit
turns out I was just a hipster
basically
several more years to realise that you have a drink problem
once buying a bottle of absinthe as a last minute gift for someone then deciding you'd rather drink it yourself, but inexplicably taking several more years to realise that you have a drink problem
lending your bees to a hipster beekeeper
beekeeping is kind of vegan in that the bees are producing more honey than the colony requires and by taking the surplus you only prevent the formation of superswarms which would first become nuisance infestations, then starve each other's colonies out
honestly never realizing that taxidermy was a hipster thing, and being unable to stop giggling imagining a bunch of guys in Buddy Holly glasses, trucker hats, and super tight t shirts stitching up a dead moose while sipping absinthe
fuck marry kill, Phil Collins, Phuller Collins, Philled Collins
wondering what the vegan beekeepers are thinking
having tried veganism, specialty coffee, and beekeeping, and reckoning to be about fifty six % hipster, which explains the hipster briefs
Other hipster trends in the twenty tens have included knitting, veganism, urban beekeeping, specialty coffee, taxidermy, fedoras, and printing and bookbinding classes
cholos
the death of Goro Shondlong
hocktovosm
Kim sith vac
hacktivism
My use of social media is not Presidential
fuck marry kill, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Philter Colbriel
ogre disco
disgorging the hole
engorging the goal
moving the goalposts
being passed around by a whole team of shamblers, Kento
A shambler's body has an eight foot girth and is about six feet tall when the creature stands erect
being texted by a Garry Shambling Mound
being slain by a Garry Shambling Mound
my heart going boourns boourns boourns
my heart going slap slap slapping
Dumb and Dumber Movie Trailer Recut Inception Style Thriller
Mrs Doubtfire recut as a horror movie
my heart going boom boom boom
I just had to trust imagination
I did not believe the information
Huey Tzompantli
if I had it all again I'd change it all
doing everything, if you know what I meat
wondering what the criteria one uses to judge one's success as a huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth are
that's supposed to end in t
doing everything, if you know what I mea
that the kind of messed up goth kid you expected to fail in life appears to be a fairly successful huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth
doing everyone
doing everything
doing nothing
that the kind of messed up goth kid you expected to fail in life appears to be a fairly successful goth DJ and vegan mafia don
having a kind of horrible feeling that Analhite's friend, who you always thought was pretty, smart, and pretty smart, went to prison for her involvement in a murder after wasting her life basically doing nothing
don't I wish my hopping were hot like me
don't I wish I never done no hopping down in Kento
don't I wish I never done no hopping down in Kent
facebook is such a shit filled rabbit hole of nightmares
not remembering the names of people you were at school with, like at all
BEGSY MODE
my bog seed
bees, my god
BALLPOWER SOLUTIONS LIMITED
tricking a pony into circumcising another pony
Should Sailors See Men
Should Sailors Get Circumcised
Should Sailors Blow Ponies
Should Sailors Fuck Ass
Should Sailors Kiss
Should Sailors Thrill
Should Sailors Hold
Should Sailors Fuck
Should Sailors Kill
all the people not in a relationship banging Jewel's boobs fucking ass
Should Sailors Marry
all the people not in a relationship banging Jewel's boobs
all the people with big bellies banging bigger drums
We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a twenty year ride, so that once they get to Mars, they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony
wailing jizz for a live audience
Poy Blowig, Mos Eisley jizz wailer
regrets about poy blowig
probably from blowing all those ponies
having a sticky n key, apparently
we didn't Eiffel Tower
JFK blow away what else do I have to say
John Fitzgerald Kento
jacking Kento
Jackie Kento
that Jackie O, what a pony blowing ass
Troll's Penis to be reerected in Norway
kid of loving Gene Hunt, that fox fucking ass
that Ace Koji, what a fox fucking ass
that Jackie O, what a fox fucking ass
that Jackie O, what a fox
fucking ass
finally getting "Nero Burning ROM" after so many years
fuck ass, kill grass, marry gas
fuck marry kill, gas, grass, ass
gas, grass, or ass, Hayden Christensen
Darth Pass
Darth Puff
"Jurassic Park" but the dinosaurs are from the nineties TV show "Dinosaurs"
Ken Dodd
p diddy
homosexual father
puff daddy
puff dogs
making spaghetti naked
True to his word, Lombardi told running back coach, George Dickson, "I want you to get on McDonald and work on him and work on him, and if I hear one of you people make reference to his manhood, you'll be out of here before your ass hits the ground"
While Green Bay Packers head coach Vince Lombardi was known to treat his players roughly in practices and during games, he insisted on unconditional respect for gay players and front office staff
meeting Brian Gippers
doing it with the Gipper
I'm a man who goes out into the streets without knowing whether I'll return home
anthyding can hadplen
just wanting some delicious yellow bread
not so much umber as charcoal, despite following the recipe to the letter and knowing your oven was the temperature it was supposed to be
bottoming for Peppermint Patootie in Poopermint Potty VII
being a peppermint Patty
This man had the chip from his travel card implanted under his skin
doing it for the Gipper
being an HIV positive Ronnie
being a positive Ronnie
being a negative Nancy
a fetishistic ode to mayhem
Ruiz held up the book, described by County Attorney James Brue as a hardcover encyclopedia, and Perez pulled the trigger on a fifty caliber Desert Eagle pistol, trying to see whether the bullet would go through
the Ikedas are going to Cambodia!
Creative Man Make Deep Hole with PVC Pipe to Catch Big Crabs near my Village in Cambodia
building a secret cruel anal labrotory with an entrance in the rear
building a secret underground labrotory with an entrance in your shower
Creative Man Make Water Plastic Pipe for Catch a lot of Fish on the Rice Field near my Village
bleeding through a tourniquet smile
Generation VIII to introduce Faeces type Pokemon, cheerio
faeces and aerses
Ice from three of the UK's biggest coffee chains has been found to contain bacteria from faeces, according to a BBC investigation
TV pickup
NO! Sushi
having never been to YO! Sushi and no desire to go
hey, I myself have fancied a Mexican on more than one occasion, so who am I to judge
post colonial foodies
it's a lot more complicated since Indian independence
it's short for "Chinese takeaway"
I suppose if you were an Indian guy you could use "fancy an Indian question mark" as a chat up line, so maybe it's not all bad
in our defence, we have been using a charming latin abbreviation of "this for that" for our money for at least four hundred years
that's really bizarre and I think at least a little racist
I believe that those are the only cuisines referred to this way
Indian may be substituted if Indian food is desired
we will also ask "fancy a Chinese"
it's true
hearing a discussion about how British people will apparently express the idea "I want some Chinese food" with "I want a Chinese" and wondering if that is true
going to a donkey show in Hong Kong with Donkey Kong and William Hung
Despite Olive Garden's advertising that it has a cooking institute in Tuscany, news outlets have reported that, in fact, there is no institute or school
YO! Sushi
the Great Sparrow Campaign
the Anti Corn Law League
Generation VIII to introduce Excrement type Pokemon
fifteen reported that they were forced to eat pasta with grass and excrement
the player who walked in on two long rods
the player who walked in on two creepers
un pain dans le cul
being b b bread, bread to the bone
making brioche and not even knowing why, like you don't particularly want some, you don't have any pressing need in the near future, you've got a lot of bread in already, it's a pain in the ass to make and the recipe you found makes it come out umber
Eiffel Towering delayed due to elderly man throwing coins into Kento for good fuck
Flight delayed due to elderly lady throwing coins into engine for good luck
The House Always Wins By Evil Robots
Peeps Poop CCLV Peeps in P Minutes, Solve for X
Man Poops CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
filthy France wig
watching Firefly
Man Eats CCLV Poops in V Minutes
getting lots of abuse from Motsi Mabuse
bottoming for human resources in HR Poopinstuff VII
those at least have representation of minorities going for them
movies in the dead trannie hooker genre, generally
movies in the dead hooker genre, generally
that honestly fucking anybody with David Carradine involved just sounds like the start of some crappy movie about disposing of dead hookers
the old man and the wide dong sea
the wide dong sea
sending a letter on my dong sea mural
sending a letter on a long summer day
posters in the amazing Regret Index may be older than they appear
try the mid nineties
fuck marry kill, Brian Peppers in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, Sylvia Browne in the bathroom at church, a Tim Burton heroine in the early aughts
fuck marry kill, Gabrielle Glaister in Blackadder, Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare In Love, Rhiana Griffith in Pitch Black
fuck marry kill, Tom Hanks in Bosom Buddies, Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game, Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire
Man Peeps CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
Canada to apologise for 'LGBT purge' of military during Cold War, no homo, eh
the stars are out, there's mischief in the breeze
you had me at "Canada to apologise", eh
Canada to apologise for 'LGBT purge' of military during Cold War
fuck marry kill, Jai Courtney, Jay Kay, J Edgar Hoover
fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox's head on Jai Courtney's body, Jai Courtney's head on Courteney Cox's body, Courteney Cox except she has Jai Courtney's cock
fuck marry kill, Anne Boleyn, Mary Boleyn, Anne of Cleves
fuck marry kill, a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft, a Celtic homosexual with Mary, Queen of Scots, a guy named "Bill Choker" with David Carradine
fucking a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft
minimalist, but also complex, emotionally raw, but still able to push the boundaries of what music can be
Jai Courtney, Hogwarts squash champion
Rowntrees Condoms, Hogwarts sex ed teacher
the death of Rowntrees Condoms so Jai Courtney would get famous
Rowntrees Condoms
wondering who had to die so Jai Courtney would get famous
I doubt that Joaquin Phoenix would have become famous if River Phoenix hadn't died, it's the Ted Kennedy Effect
imagining all the awful movies Joaquin Phoenix and River Phoenix could have made together
drawing a picture of Johnny Depp playing Samwise Gamgee like a slide whistle
that there is apparently a parallel universe where Johnny Depp never gave River Phoenix the drugs that killed him and he went on to play Samwise Gamgee
The Guardian suggested in two thousand three "it was likely that Phoenix would have followed Interview with the Vampire by appearing as Susan Sarandon's son in Safe Passage", a role that went to Sean Astin
mishearing Amber Disassemble
both, he's a very violent man
wondering whether Johnny Depp is kicking Jonathan Frakes's nuts or Patrick Stewart's
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Johnny Depp kicks him in the nuts
taking the most violent Number II
disassembling Amber Heard
Number II is a violent dude
reversing the exciton polarteats
exciton polarteats
He was birthed John Christopher Depp II in Owensboro, Kentucky, on June ninth, nineteen sixty three, to Beep Boop, who functioned as a waitress and performed hand jobs when a quarter was inserted, and also John Christopher Depp, a civil engineer
bottoming for Bill Cosby in Deep Cosby XX XX
He was birthed John Christopher Depp II in Owensboro, Kentucky, on June ninth, nineteen sixty three, to Betty Sue, who functioned as a waitress, and also John Christopher Depp, a civil engineer
Depp Cosby Twenty Twenty
OMG! Look What Johnny Depp Has Done Now
wondering whatever happened to that whole thing where Johnny Depp brutally beat the shit out of his wife, like did we just decide he was too beloved and too much of a box office draw for us to care
shrek making love to a mermaid
It is the first installment in the Has Fallen franchise
the death of DIANE Burger
It also could be someone sitting on their bed that costs four hundred pounds, cheerio
It also could be someone pissing on my bed that weighs four hundred pounds
I don't understand why the Republican President would admit to hacking the DNC like that
It also could be someone sitting on their bed that weighs four hundred pounds
wondering how YOUR flight went
wondering how your flight went
I'm about to lose control and I think I likon
I just can't hiton
they're so exciton
exciton polaritons
exciton polatirtons
White Olympus House Has Fallen Down
eat her being goth
be her eating goth
the Big Orange
the death of Grace Curb Beer
the death of Rebecca Hotkid
the death of Rebecca Hotdog
the death of Rebecca Burger
'Cat Fart Fusion' to Get Reboot Focusing on the Heroes' Dogs
sucking Tim Burton for heroin
'Fantastic Four' to Get Reboot Focusing on the Heroes' Dogs
wondering if we will eventually reach a point where superhero franchises are actually rebooted midfilm
'Fantastic Four' to Get Reboot Focusing on the Heroes' Kids
bottoming for Peter Warlock in The Sackbut VII
Peter Warlock, who authored a book about Carlo Gesualdo, one of the most interesting composers of his day
spiders pouring scorn
Dick Warlock
Lowmoan Spectacular
Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire
MMVI Peeps in V Masks
sucking a Tim Burton heroine's left one until she had a breastgasm in the bathroom at church
Man Enables DHCP Without "Paying" in V Minutes
Man Eats VMMCXL Calories in V Minutes
having a Peep tearing your groin
Man Eats CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
having a Phoebe tearing your groin
having a phobia of tearing your groin as an adult
sous vide your groin
searing your groin
timing your gimli
tealing your gloin
it's tearin' up my groin when I'm with you, but when we are apart, I feel it too, and no matter what I do, I feel the pain with or without you
tearing your groin
Bill Cosby's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Roman Polanski's Little Women
filling out forms
filling out nicely
Vice Versa Trouble in Little Women
Big Trouble in Little Women
trying to imagine the reaction to John Carpenter's Big Trouble in Little China being released for the first time in the internet age
Beardevil II Colon Husky Past It Action Heroes
Ben Affleck rapes Leonardo DiCaprio blind and they both get superpowers and go on a magical journey together
a crossover sequel to Daredevil and The Revenant, Beardevil
Kento's tristate area
wondering what they put in the Norwegian olive oil
His Imperial and Royal Highness Stefan Cernetic, Hereditary Prince of Montenegro, Serbia and Albania
Kento's bikini area
wondering what they put in the nonvegan Olovo Ool
Boong John Molkovoch
Horold Hordrodo
Harald Hardrada
The Australian Penis Abyss is a penis trove of strange, often penis shaped penises
Harold Hamgravy
wondering what they put in the nonvegan Olive Oyl
being the very model of a modern John Malkovich
The Australian Eastern Abyss is a treasure trove of strange, often penis shaped animals
Johns Malkovich University
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by an infinite number of John Malkoviches and an infinite number of turtles
Project Horizon
La goualante du pauvre Jean
displeased that Paris had refused to teach him mime, Nero had him put to death
being sunk by two dwarfs in Paris
Her Majesty the Queen sharing her Queen collection with the queens in Queens
Being John Sandwich
drawing a picture of John Malkovich being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself
drawing a picture of John Malkovich being Eiffel Towered by himself and a turtle
Malkoviches all the way down
Being a Guy Being John Malkovich
wondering if anyone has pitched a sequel to Being John Malkovich which includes a scene where somebody gets to be John Malkovich watching the original Being John Malkovich
wondering what they put in the nonvegan olive oil
vegan olive oil
making way for the future, Daniel Clamp style
mustang margarine
beaver butter
watching Being John Malkovich eating John Malkovich
watching Inside Llewyn Davis inside Llewyn Davis
watching In Jackson Heights in Jackson Heights
my dickgirl likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time
A spokesman for the actor maintained Murphy was just being a "good Samaritan" by offering the transsexual a ride
a man who consorts with prostitutes, and does this over and over again throughout his married life, has, according to man made law, been acting only in accordance with human nature, and nobody can punish him for that, except the Steak n Shake manager
a man who consorts with prostitutes, and does this over and over again throughout his married life, has, according to man made law, been acting only in accordance with human nature, and nobody can punish him for that
being slain by twin long Ebonblade Reapers #two
cooking two thicknesses of spaghetti in the same pot, if you know what I mean
Whenever Ebonblade Reaper attacks, you lose half your life, rounded up
unwillingly bottoming for Bill Cosby in Hung Jury VII
cooking two thicknesses of spaghetti in the same pot
Democratic Unionist Party's Sinn Fein says he will oppose any deal with UK Prime Minister Theresa May that undermines a MCMXCVIII peace deal
having a phobia of baby driving as an infant
having a four beers driving as a me, Mario
having a four beers driving as an adult
I guess there was that time you got stopped in the Midtown Tunnel
having a phobia of driving as an adult
the death of Fran Gerard
Hodor
spoon arm hode behind, Kim Jong il's big fat ass, Jewel's boobs, Myke Hawke
Let's pad ourselves thickly with Kim Jong il's big fat ass!
Let's arm ourselves strongly with Kim Jong il's patriotism!
fuck marry kill LaVar Ball, Lucille Ball, Ed Balls
Shend
that's a dirty lie, I've never even seen a Steak n Shake
you know it
he could be doing a lot of Steak n Shake dumpster work
he could be doing a lot of stage door work
he could be doing a lot of stage work
the death of Jonathan Avildsen's career
don't die
gonna die now
fuck marry kill, only weirdly cropped, pitchbent Family Guy clips in your YouTube suggestions forever no matter what you do, blowing a guy but he jizzes diamonds & you get to keep the diamonds, spooning Jewel's boobs but also having to spoon Rob Schneider
Higher prices squeezing both rentboys and would be homos
Higher prices squeezing both renters and would be homeowners
the death of John G Avildsen
The Connecticut State Police said Torn broke into the bank thinking it was his home
wondering whether you would rather have my penis removed entirely but have to keep it or have pain every time I get an erection
wondering whether you would rather have my penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time I get an erection
homo nerds
drop bottoms
US homeownership drop seen bottoming
the slight bitterness of raped Blossom
the slight bitterness of rape blossoms
not like excruciating pain, just like maybe a bad headache
wondering whether you would rather have your penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time you get an erection
wanting to hear Elton John and Kiki Dee's cover of ASTERISKNSYNC's "Tearin' Up My Heart", "Don't Go Tearin' Up My Heart"
fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Bear Grylls, James Wesley, Rawles
wanting to hear Myke Hawke cover ASTERISKNSYNC's "Tearin' Up My Heart" as "Tearin' Up Myke Hawke"
The Woosell cocke, so blacke of hew, With Orenge tawny bill
bottoming and topping for Bryan Adams in The Summer of Sixty Nine VII
damaging the headlight of Jackson C Frank's Porsche by standing on it when you were a kid
he was only nine years old so I doubt he caused much damage
wondering whether Bryan Adams usually stands on other people's sports cars
seriously wondering whether Bryan Adams knows how to pronounce 'Porsche'
wondering if Bryan Adams' girlfriend slash wife's parents were living at the drive in, or if their porch was just in close proximity back in the summer of soixante neuf
telling me what you're feelin, I'll feel it with you
Kit Harington has spoken of the bizarre moment that he met Ed Sheeran for the first time when the pair urinated next to each other
Jupiter now has sixty nine ass scents
I did not burn to death
Jupiter now has sixty nine moons
hoping you would check in to confirm you didn't burn to death
hoo hoo here she comes, watch out boy she'll peck you up, hoo hoo here she comes, she's a swaneater
swanbeer
manbeer
when she walks she walks with passion
watch out boy, she'll chew you up
Miles O'Brien's subspace messages
the goddamn deliberately disabled ponies Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "blowing" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink
Pat O'Brien's voicemails
sprinking the hugest left one
regrets about chocolate chip sprinking
burly armed Dame Blurry, rarely dumb, rumbled Ray
Dame Blurry
murderably
lumberyard
somehow I have turned away from the light of truth
and lions fucking tigers, of course
not knowing what you did to deserve it but your YouTube suggestions have entirely become Everything Wrong With and Family Guy but none of them are Everything Wrong With Family Guy
We represent the Toronto public, Toronto public, Toronto public, and in the name of the Toronto public, we wish to SHOP, we wish to SHOP, tra la la la la la la
We are the toronto public! We want to SHOP!
Using algebraic topology in a way that it has never been used before in a bar, Dr Sam Rebecca stepped into the Quantum Date Accelerator and vanished before he could marry Diane
Using algebraic topology in a way that it has never been used before in neuroscience, a team from the Rape Injector Bulb has uncovered a universe of multi dimensional geometrical structures and spaces within the networks of the brain
bottoming for dickgirl Ariel Winter in Modern Buddy Teats VII
cardboard booty syndrome
dead Buttadeus syndrome
modern Buttadeus
getting SLIGHTLY crapped on
POSTMODERN buddy teats
getting totally crapped on
Using algebraic topology in a way that it has never been used before in neuroscience, a team from the Blue Brain Project has uncovered a universe of multi dimensional geometrical structures and spaces within the networks of the brain
modern buddy teats
dead butt syndrome
Loving v Virginia
the international fun boy three space station
the international fun boy
Xbonx
Xbox One X
Pokemon Strong and Stable
I thought you liked Natalie Portman
She's a terrible actor mouthing a script in which there is no plot and no credible ending that is not an anti climax
calling your tummy fat and being surprised when it announced that it was going to stay with its mother for the time being
Marie Curie eating curried mercury
eating so much curry on a day when your tummy was already upset
drinking Kia Night nightley with Kiora Nightly orally
drinking Kiera nightley with Kia Ora Knightly
I didn't read to the end, it didn't seem important at that time
google said Keira
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightly
apparentley
getting spell good lessons from Kia Ora Knightley apparently
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Keira Knightley
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Keira Knightly
Kentodeus
Butthurtdeus
Butterdeus
the death of Meatwads
the death of Data's Mew
Ricki Lake's wikileaks
the death of Adam West
low speed collisions
Hooker's green
laundering money in a dishwasher safe
Buttadeus
An energetic beastman girl, Nikki talks and acts before she thinks
Muppy Oktavia Wonderchak VIII
Milo, the virtual boy
Tattermunge Maniac attacks each turn if able
Stacey's got herself a mom and I wanna make her mine
the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you
Reports that a man was rushed to the hospital after getting a fidget spinner lodged in his anus are false
James Earl Jones' cojones inflaming irl
you know the nearer your destination the more you're slap slappin' away
bottoming for James Girl Bones in Cry, the Beloved Cuntrape
shaming girl's bones with James Earl Jones
you can almost hear time slap slap slappin' away
you can almost hear time slippin' away
Mr Jones and a walrus, Eiffel Towering Kento
deleted rift holes
the riddle of steel
John Kreese saved Silver's life several Ashley's her saving times in Vietnam, and the Cobra Kai dojo was given to Kreese as a gift of gratitude and friendship is she right protect to her and mike branes Ashley's leader is she called boss in
wondering if the extensive biography of Terry Silver on The Karate Kid Wiki came from the novelization or some other canon source, or if it's basically just fanfiction
will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe
wishing Henry II would stop posting racist memes on facebook
wishing Henry II would stop tweeting
I Eat a Picture of Jason Alexander Everyday Until He Eats A Picture of Me
Rue "Dirty Bird" Quest
Berry Disquiet Rut
gricers
Diet Ruby Red Squirt
I Eat a Picture of Jason Segel Everyday Until He Eats A Picture of Me
walnuts in RASPBERRY BERET
walnuts in cream
being arrested for sapiosexuality in the sample store of the neurology lab at Harvard Medical School
being sapiosexual
Demand for elephant skin, trunk and penis drives rapid rise in poaching in Myanmar
it's not gay if you're a dickgirl
The Gettysturd Address
A Kalispell man wanted advice on what to do if your spouse is pawning all your stuff at Ke$ha'$ junk $hop
to avoid constipation, she never crapped the same address
to avoid complications, she never kept the semen dress
Ke$ha'$ junk $hop
Boys tried to touch my junk, junk
ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here and now the dudes are lining up
wondering why female manatees aren't called womanatees
we all need somebody to ream on
entrire
the entrire TiK ToK music video but every time Ke$ha ToKs about something that only an alcoholic hooker would do it cuts to Barry B Benson shaking his head in disdain
to avoid complications, she never kept the same address
throo dodo$ $tono cold chollon' on Ko$ho
three dudes stone cold chillin' in Ke$ha
"I don't know who that wa$," he admitted, but upon learning her identity $aid, "I wi$h her the be$t"
"I don't know who that was," he admitted, but upon learning her identity said, "I wish her the best"
A loner, Barry has vivid daydreams about being Chuck Norris' sidekick, battling against Norris's movie enemies, who are often personified by Barry's everyday bullies such as Randy Cellini
throo dodos stono cold chollon' on o hot tob
three dudes stone cold chillin' in a hot tub
What Happens If You Put Firecracker in a Safe
the sea cows hear Data
telling people you love dogs on the Isle of Dogs
A Kalispell man wanted advice on what to do if your spouse is pawning all your stuff
A Kalispell cat was living dangerously by going into the neighbor's yard after the neighbor announced he would shoot it if it trespassed again
Barking, London
the sea hates a coward
taking the voight maru test
Black Napoleon the Professional Dynamite
Van Eragonsing, omfg what a piece of utter ass shit
Blacula Swan Down
The Training Day After Tomorrowland Before Time
Ferris Bueller's Night at the School of Rock
The Last Temptation of Christmas Vacation
Dumb vs Dumber
National Lampoon's Treasure of the Sierra Madre
tig welding a hell of a gong
Krakatoa, West Side Story
Troy Story
Doubtfire vs Doubtfire
After Spice World
Darth Wristo
The Biodome in the Woods
Manbird on a Wire
wondering what darth name Kit Fisto would have taken if he had fallen to the dark side
A Nightmare at the Roxbury
Pokemon American Beauty and the Beast of Yucca Flats
shaving a hell of a dong
having a hell of a STIG
having a hell of a dump
Children of Deliverance
guessing black guys had to pee there
black guy pees
guessing you had to be there
having a hell of a dream
American Pi
Dirty Dances With Wolves
Beavis and Butt Head Do Dallas
American Beauty and the Beast of Yucca Flats
Batman & Robin & Liz & Dick
Three Lion King Amigos and a Babe in Toyland
Three Lion King Amigos
Three Lion Kings
The Return of the Last King of Scotland
The Last Lion Fisher King of Scotland's Speech
The Dallas Breakfast Club
American History xXx State of the Nation
Twelve Angry Men and a Slumdog Million Dollar Baby Genius II Electric Pig in the City of Angels for a Few Dollars More
Moon Colon Dark of the Moon
Slumdog Boss Baby
Million Dollar Baby Geniuses
Home Alone in the Dark
Little Miss Mermaid
Cats and Dogs Colon Prince of Persians
The Fisher King and I
Porky's II Colon Pig in the City
Donnie Darko's Day Off
The Mummy of Oz
Les Incredibles
Tanglish
Chocolat Milk
Moana and Her Sisters
The Alien Falcon
Kiss Kiss Rain Man
Johnny Got Jane A Gun
Gangs of Nebraska
Annie Got Fingered
The Last Mystic Pizza Of Christ
No Country for Grumpy Old Men
Things We Lost in the African Queen
A Mystic River Runs Throught It
Goonies State
Alice Doesn't Live in Wonderland Anymore
Stop! Or Mamma Mia Will Shoot
Manhunt On Wire
The Cook, the Thief, W & United XCIII
How Green Was My Left Foot
The Wild Wild West Side Story
The Full Pianist
Frozen slash Nixon
Midnight Space Cowboy
The Independence Day After Tomorrow
Panic Room of Lost Children
The Gangs of Others
Guardians of the Gravity
Fantastic Four and Where to Find Them
Interhobbit
The Girl on the Polar Express
Frozen Frozen West
Thor of the Planet of the Apes
Rambo's List
The Iron Man in the Iron Man Mask
The Man Without a Face in the Iron Mask Who Knew Too Much
Shrekspotting
The Godfather, Part II Colon The Secret of the Ooze
Zoobusters
When Beethoven Met Marmaduke
The Garfield Identity
The Curious Case of Paul Blart
Interview With The Transformers
Catch Me If You Caligula
Rob Schneider is The Revenant
What's Eating Raoul Grape
Duece Brockovich, Wrath of God
Gremlins II Colon European Gigolo
The Running Royale Games
Bedknobs and Frank
Batman vs Mary Poppins Colon Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea
Small Universal Soldier
The Hunt for Yellow Submarine
Days of Thunder and Roses
the year we graduated i bet my brother that he wouldn't drink a pint of Bovril, but he did and i would imagine that is a similar experience to drinking a glass of pee
that would depend on the size of the glass and the concentration of the pee
wondering how much money it would take to get you to drink a whole glass of your own pee
Ali, Vampire Hunter
ET the Crystal Skull
Saving Private Babe
The Crying Fugitive
Ghostfellas
Raging Elephant Man
Erin Brockovich Screwed My Dog Skip
Silver Shining Playbook
Seabiscuit In The Bedroom
American Tinker American Tailor American Soldier American Pie
The Sniper of Wall Street
Django Buyers Club
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Temple of Doom
Tyler Perry's Diary of a Wimpy Black Kid
Life Is Chocolat
Shakespeare In The Cider House
The Dances of the Wolves
Little Miss Deer Hunter
The Muppets Take Pelham One Two Three
Raiders of the Last Samurai
Remember the Clash of the Titans
Lethal Blonde II Colon Red White and Blonde
Die Harder, Die Longer and Die Uncutter
Breakinback Mountain II Colon Electric Boogaloo
Casablackfish
The Devil's Advocate Wears Prada
JFKtv
The Jackie Show
Fear and Loathing in the Time of Cholera
Black Swan FILOPLUME
Blade Runnings
Things To Do In Denver When You're John Malkovich
From Dumb Til Dumber
Despicable Irene
In Her Minions
The Vagina Suicides
District Nine From Outer Space
Black Swan Down
The Hurt Focker
Forrest Hulk
Saving My Own Private Idaho
Pulp Flashdance
Twelve Angry Monkeys
Lady in the Waterboy
Reservoir Dog Millionaire
Twenty Eight Dresses Later
The Grapes of Warcraft
Muriel's Four Weddings and a Funeral
Garfield Colon Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
The Good & The Bad & The Ugly & Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
lOl Reasons Why I Hate Dalmatians
The Quick and the Tramp
Peter Pan's Labyrinth
Aristocrats Colon Age of Ultron
A Nightmare on Thirty Fourth Street
Dr Magorium's Wonder Imaginarium
The Inglourious Apprentice
Bill & Ted's Wife & Her Lover
Reservoir Time Machine
How The Grinch Got Married
The Fifth Sense
Six Days, and Two Smoking Barrels
What's New Terminator
Godzilla vs Titanic
Schindler's F I S T
The Human Centipede Wore Tennis Shoes
The Witches of Witch Mountain
Escape from Eastwick
Driving Miss Daisy with a Vengeance
leaning into poo with Lani Tupu
Man of Magnolias
Gunfight at the Whistle Stop Cafe
Showtease
Stripgirls
Snatch Adams
Jurassic Shark
Star Treks Episode II Colon The Wrath of Ki Adi Mundi
The Spy Who Got Fingered
Top Instinct
Basic Gun
Apocalypse After Tomorrow
Sex and the Simpsons
Lawrence of Arabia vs Predator
Pirates of the Covfefe
featuring pirates
a series of crossover sequels starring Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson in the style of the Bing Crosby and Bob Hope Road To movies, starting with Lost In The Caribbean
Alien vs The Muppets
a crossover sequel to Dennis the Menace and The Phantom, The Dennis
Animal Swan
Weekend At Tiffany's
the menopause is a natural and beautiful thing
Don't put dried up wasp's nest in your vagina
bustin' makes me feel good, YIPPEEEE!
a crossover sequel to American Pie and My Blueberry Nights, My Blueberry Pie, starring Jude Law as Jude Law, the faintly sinister and insincere figure who force feeds a blueberry pie to itself, then fucks it
Thoroughly Modern Millie vs Predator
a crossover sequel The Phantom Menace and Ghostbusters, the Menace Busters
Tai Chi Master Uses Penis to Pull Helicopter, Breaks Penis
Tai Chi Master Uses Penis to Pull Helicopter, Breaks 'World Record'
oddtuckofyuckeh dot ca
never really noticed that campus
fuckedhotday dot co dot uk
it's a beautiful campus
duckoftheday dot co dot uk
Malaga bishop faces off against Space Invader artist over flamenco dancer
the way your brain fills in details with what is plainly garbage when you dream about reality
Nigel Farage named as 'person of interest' in FBI investigation into links between Russia and Trump campaign
Stabby, Your Lamb
Stand by Your Lamb
a crossover sequel to Stand By Me and The Silence of the Lambs, Silently Stabbed By Me
Elzar is not pompous and needs to knock it up a notch, BAM!
Willy wonka is pompous and needs to take it down a notch
Not having anyone to send a sexy bachman turner overdrive to even though you feel capable of takin' care of business for the first time in your sad life
All The President's Covfefe
The President and a small group know exactly what he meant
Staying Alive While Running a High Flashdance Fever
Highwaymen seem to have extra legal powers that occasionally cause conflict with the local police
Tim Russ in the The Highwayman intro
Wild Colonial Psychos Colon Bandits on the Run
negative press covfefe
digitus impudicus
Everything Wrong With Jumper In Seventeen Teen Choice Awards Or Less
KNOWING when SeaLION is going to release the remaining FOUR OPERAS of the FRENCH Kiss from a PLATINUM WOMAN PENTALOGY
Thrill from a Blanche
wondering when Seal is going to release the remaining three songs of the Kiss from a Golden Girl tetrology
Theedgetheedge
Jaloomper
a crossover sequel to Looper and Jumper where Joe and David drive around in a time travel teleport jalopy solving crimes they committed
Pokemon Jean Loup Wolfman and Horse Wolf Blitzer
very sad
Sebacean heat delirium
I heat up, I can't cool down
A dying man was hit over the head with a pan and a video of it was put on Instagram, an inquest has heard
Assemblee nationale adopte Kento etant Eiffel Dominee par Chris Lydon et morses comme symbole national de la France
outlawing jive talking just to shut the Bee Gees up
flying Brutush Ourwoys, chaarue
Jean Loup Wolfman says he tried to calm down the dancers after they started threatening an elderly couple at the Union Square subway station on Monday
Kento's landing strip
Bonobono
flying British Airways, cheerio
French president calls on Putin to protect fat gay Chechens
French president calls on Putin to protect gay Chechens
Myke Hawke knows a little something about hardness AND video production
not being scientifically minded or knowledgeable enough to run a Moh Hardness, Moh Problems YouTube channel
I think it was in the mid twenty thousands
when did we get like this
Huahua will leak and limp for a week!
Huahua is sexually injured and incontinent! Her father suffers!
Look at Huahua's smile on this photo! She is laughing at her dad's tiny broken penis! She knows a real man is waiting to punish her vagina!
Huahua's dad totally got cucked
Huahua is a real adult on this picture and she needs a real man who makes her happy!
How cute is the little Huahua on this picture! She is just simply loveable and looks totally healthy!
Panto
Anto
Kentus
inside of Kento's anus it's too dark to read
a moon piss, eh
smelling burnt toast, for real this time
Mangamoord
the Dark Triad
homo sapiens
Gregg Allman dies during all man sixty nine
Gregg Allman dies at sixty nine
Sandy Poodoo, Mos Espa market trader
Sebulba Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker's dug Sebulba joined Instagram
I can't reasonably expect you to remember all of their names
a midwest only combination of Marts both K and Wal
Audrey Hepburn's fawn Pippin Hepburn joined Instagram
guessing that Ben Jacobs should probably stay as far away as possible from the Knox County mayoral election
suplexing Ron Paul
Lawless homo and the Homo is not executed because the sly slither
an American professional wrestler, insurance broker, politician and actor
The Conquest of Brute with the first finding of the Bath
titillating an ocelot
Canaan Bananarama
fuck marry kill, Goodluck Jonathan, Canaan Banana, Tokyo Sexwale
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by two Tokyo Sexwales isn't it, desu ne
Horniman & Sexwale, attorneys at law
Pokemon Horniman Walrus and Tokyo Sexwale
Horniman Walrus
Pokemon Cocks and Rocks
correctly reading "cocks" as "cocks" and thinking yeah, that's Kento alright
misreading "cocks" as "rocks" and thinking yeah, that's Kento alright
National Economic Council Director Gary Cohn on Friday clarified President Trump's recent remark that "the Germans are bad, very bad"
just kidding, he only likes cocks
Kento's bisexual symmetry
Kento's bilateral symmetry
Irregularia
that Spock's ship from Star Trek Colon Two Colon Thousand Nine was named "Jellyfish," that is stupid as fuck and hilarious
injecting the red matter
Ryanyanrama
whether or not red mercury actually existed was irrelevant to the prosecution
thinking it's probably a blessing that nobody has to hear you say "Gott im himmel! Choco Liebniz!" literally every time you see a packet, and subsequently leave you
bottoming for Bruce Willis in Old Man Action VII
watching Red and then the sequel and thinking maybe you're missing something through not having seen any of the Expendables movies, like maybe it's a parody, but being pretty sure Old Man Action Movies is supposed to be a subgenre now
gin teat vids manager Ryan North
Ryan Polanski
Ryan North managed virgin teats
advertising magnate Ryan North
if the parents of Seth Rich took out a tire iron and beat the living shit out of Sean Hannity for his repulsive lies
it's like they're blocked
you know I don't get any pussies
Mary Poppins with supreme nasal meatus
I just assumed that it's google tracking us via pussies and trying to be helpful
Mary Poppins with tempura
there's more than two of us, unless you've been pretending to be other people again
thinking of google as a fairly stupid dog
I just assumed that it's google tracking us via cookies and trying to be helpful
it was a four hundred million dollar deal, which I guess is a lot for a user base of two people
I guess maybe Ryan has partnered with google to allow regret index userdata to influence youtube recommendations
seriously, what is up with that shit
I have also been receiving these recommendations
youtube recommending you multiple videos of lions fucking tigers for some reason
bottoming for Julie Andrews in My Fair Ladyboy
Mary Poppins with breasts and a penis
the last tempura of Christopher Lydon
the last tempura of Christ
Mary Poppins with depression
Mary Poppins with a penis
Mary Poppins with breasts
Whenever Smogsteed Rider attacks, each other attacking creature gains fear until end of turn
eating four seven layer Doritos loco supreme meatuses from Taco Bell and being up until three am shitting on the toilet
ordering a fourth supreme nasal meatus and not tipping
Winonarama
where a fourth, supreme nasal concha is present, there is a fourth supreme nasal meatus
Swananarama
At first the OED wouldn't have it in its pages and even today the dictionary describes it as the most taboo word in English
This county will not bow to the views of racists, because decent society demands that intolerance is shown to all racists of any sort, however they chose to express their hatred of others, or dislike of others and the abuse that goes with it
e un piccolo mano bastardo
bigly
How the war of words between Trump and Pope Francis has evolved
cognitive decline
the roger of Death Moore
bottoming for Chris Lydon and a walrus in Fun Boy Threeway VII
inside of Bananarama it's too dark to read
People wet their knickers when they find out I was in Bananarama
Pokemon Strong and Stable My Arse
strong and stable my arse
getting Spice World instead of a Bananarama movie
wondering who is going to play The Chief in Spice World II Colon Extra Spicy
the death of Roger Moore
chateau de petit terre
the Dangerous Woman Tour having a dynamite bod
the Dangerous Woman Tour
chapeau de peut etre
chapeau de pretre
the Comey memo sounds savage af
these include the terms "beaver basher," "cranny axe," "custard launcher," "dagger," "heat seeking moisture missile," "mayo shooting hotdog gun," "pork sword," and "yogurt shotgun"
making a really nice chili
A passenger wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat and calling fellow air travelers "lesbian" and "Hillary" caused his United Airlines flight from Shanghai to New Jersey to be delayed seven hours
the way splenda foams so much when you put it in a cold liquid
A Mississippi Republican lawmaker who called for the lynching of politicians who approve of the removal of Confederate monuments needs to "quickly clear up his remarks," the state GOP chairman said Monday
promoting the possibility of lasting peach
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the uranus inside a man trope
Uranus, the sideways giant watching Inside Man while inside a man
having a GELIGNITE bod
eAT PANT
killing the guy who killed Hitler
Uranus, the sideways giant
watching Inside Man while inside a man
Dumbledore penis raping a TV
having a dynamite bod
Snaping Private Dumbledore
a child molesting robot is not news, a robot molesting child is
Bees by Dre
a child molesting robot
unlike alcohol bees have never killed anybody and have no ill effects
smoke bees erry day
fourtwenty buzz it
weed but every reference to weed is now a reference to bees
needing to fuck a midget in its deathbed
needing to fuck a midget on its deathbed
not really NEEDING to fuck a midget on your deathbed, but wanting to
wbere
the stench of white mulberry liquid soap
a concept piece wbere Erin Moran follows Eric Morecambe around repeating everything he says in a sullen, sarcastic mumble
the death of Erin Moran like a month ago
Pygram at a Japan Day ceremony in Wagamama
Joanie Loves Cheech and Chong
Nous vide
eight assholes and a token cunt
being loved by Joanie
Sous vide
Pygram at an Australia Day ceremony in Wagga Wagga
ramming things way into pigs with Wayne Pygram
it's only seventy inches and where do I go
Chris Lydon's palpitating a cripple
right now, as we speak
Chris Lydon's crippling a fat gay Asian
Chris Lydon's crippling a puppy
Chris Lydon's crippling anosmia
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring FULLY FUNCTIONAL spirit of Data defecating in the Captain's ready room
midget shavers
midget spinners
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring vengeful spirit of Trump defecating on his desk
infested spring
fidget spinners
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring image of Trump defecating on his desk
peg toodle pip pork, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig
fuck marry kill, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig
I would bust that tight pASTERISKASTERISKASTERISKy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week
He allegedly used the alias "T Dog" with her
'I Have a Sickness' Colon Weiner Cries While Pleading Guilty to Sexting Teen
weighing pies in grams with Wayne Pygram
LGbe languages AND GRAMMARS
Gbe languages
Rick Tailfeathers, Mayor of Duckburg
white inbred slut ratio loss leaders
Pokemon Steak and Ketchup
The experience seems to be made even more enjoyable because everyone else has to queue through security, battle with heavy language, and hike through the air terminal to get to the boarding gates
Rick Tailfeathers, a spokesperson for the Kainai First Nation located in southern Alberta
THIRTEEN inch DOUBLES
Tom Yum
twelve inch singles
white inbred slut ratio
wealth redistribution
loss leaders
she wore blue Woolvett, Gordon Michael Woolvett was the night, softer than satin was his skin, he put the lotion in the basket
bottoming for Gordon Michael Woolvett in Deepwater Black VII
fuck marry kill, Gordon Michael Woolvett, Joseph Gordon Levitt, G Gordon Liddy
you ate my dong, Jar Jar, I loved you
you were my dong, Jar Jar, I loved you
Star Wars Colon Episode IX Colon The Revenge of the Dong
smashing the canoptic jar containing crabs
smashing the canoptic jar containing Jar Jar's penis, so that his magnificent dong may rule once more
stealing that guy's jar from the canoptic laundry room
getting bladdered with Rud Hud Hudibras and Bladud in nud nud nudibars, isn't it
I was going to say "she was probably inexperienced, amirite" but after hearing what she said that is obviously untrue
A male reporter is interrupted by a girl on LIVE TV
Fluffa Fox
Peppa Pig set for more than lOO new episodes as eOne shareholders rejoice and Pedro Pony starts fluffing himself
Peppa Pig set for more than lOO new episodes as eOne shareholders rejoice and parents despair
some enchanted permanent
Scrotum McNuggets, Scottish gay porn star
wondering if anyone has made a mashup of Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm and MmmBop
Godhunter Octopus can't attack unless defending player controls an enchantment or an enchanted permanent
fuck marry kill, Stacy's mom, Jessie's girl, John Brown's body
smashing the canoptic jar containing Steve Harwell's mouth, so that his spirit will be silent in the afterlife
considering watching Stargate Colon SGOne but then working out that it must take something on the order of twenty eight days to watch in full, assuming you watch it sixteen hours a day with no breaks
putting in your eight inches for the bitches that have always been
putting in your eight hours for the powers that have always been
topping for Sub Perignon in Scrotum McNuggets VII
bottoming for Dom Perignon in Colon Pizza VII
scrotum mcnuggets
colon pizza
I would have guessed she was more into steaks and shakes
Chelsea Manning walked out of military prison Wednesday and straight onto Instagram, posting a portrait of herself and pictures of her first indulgences colon pizza and Dom Perignon
the Delacroix of French painting
The UMM
the Bacon of French cuisine
comically making love to these dolls, toodle pip
the Delacroix of French cuisine
Robert Swan Mueller III
President Riker, this fall on CBS All Access
I'd assume the RIKER is already stolen and systems compromised
I'd assume the data is already stolen and systems compromised
a sequel to Elder Nun Bra but its actually called Older Unborn and it's about someone trying to illegally supply the organ and or artificial organ trade and has nothing much to do with the original but the setting and definitely isn't a shitty action film
a sequel to Blade Runner but it's actually called Blood Runner and it's about someone trying to illegally supply the organ and or artificial organ trade and has nothing much to do with the original but the setting and definitely isn't a shitty action film
Ryan's office said "That never happened" until being told Walrus Porn has a recording
kind of blowing Gene Hunt, that magnificent pony
the Washington Pony
Ryan's office said "That never happened" until being told WaPo has a recording
paying attention sucka
saying oops up side your head, saying oops upside your head
diksuckas no match for meesa
they're no match for diksuckas
Kento Diksucka, typical Lancastrian
Kento Diksucka
Kento "The Dicksucker" Ikeda
Kento "The Dessicator" Ikeda
I just use gravy
you're going to need a lot of lube
wanting to make Kento a moistmaker for his birthday
synthol
bottoming for Henry Tudor in Henry VII
the Lancastrian violently emerges from Kowalski's peanuts when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine
The "traditional Southern" England phrasal preposition "off of" has "robust use" especially with "Anglo females"
dew yew keep a troshin
Tha's been a cooartin' Mary Jane
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra pussy sweat not since decimalisation
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra pussy sweat
not since decimalisation
Hast ta geet a SIXER tha con lend me
typical Lancastrian
Hast ta geet a fiver tha con lend me
killing the Norfolk broads
Norfolk broads
electroplating your Pennines
they're all monkeys that side of the Pennines
broad Lancashire
sleep on the left side
cookie sweat
puppy sweat
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra
pussy sweat
why'd you have to go and make things so constipated
Fatworld Avril Lavigne would never promote a Swollen Secret bar
clam chowder with Ben Browder in Ann Arbor
being electrocuted touching your coffee, coffee grounds
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slim Secret bar
Boscombe
bosombros
bosoms
Bellowbros
Bellowing Saddlebrute, Senator from Vermont
When Bellowing Saddlebrute enters the battlefield, you lose four life unless you attacked with a creature this turn
you are still a dipper on my chips
you are still a whisper on my hips
you are still a whisper on my lips
Mindy has a motorcycle
beef pizzle
hey, we're out of these "new love" cookies
everybody loves playing with lego
The One Where Ross Can't Stand Muslims
your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the eight year old boy and you'll realize you have nothing in common
thinking like an hour ago you could do with a nice drink, oblivious to the cup of tea you made which was a foot from your head and going cold just out of your line of sight
something is wrong on the internet
your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common
uhhh
I happen to like eight year old boys
Butt out to prove he's the best tight end in seventeen draft class
ABSOLUTE ZERO burritos recalled over KRYTENia fear ITSELF
oppositional defiant disorder
Frozen burritos recalled over KRYTENia fears
Frozen burritos recalled over listeria fears
ODD
buttermilk
THRILLER touches
BAD touches
touches
and whales isn't it
tastes
smells
goddamned bullshit security updates
even
Man found 'masturbating walrus vigorously', says he did it because he loves Podcaster
Man found 'masturbating walrus vigorously', says he did it because he loves Portland
Man found 'masturbating vigorously', says he did it because he deals that porn
Man found 'masturbating vigorously', says he did it because he hates Portland
Kento's Ass enters the battlefield tapped
Boreal Shelf enters the battlefield tapped
A bloody gigantic, bloody dead thing just bloody washed up in bloody Indonesia and nobody bloody knows what it is, crikey
pollinating Jackson C Frank in the eye with an anther when you were a plant
saying you're getting ready but actually getting back into bed shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a Gunther when you were a kid
saying you're getting ready but actually getting back into bed
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a Gunther when you were a kid
and whales
it was Gunther
you're shooting homeless people in the eyes with a bb gun again, aren't you
I know that you did it
We don't believe there is criminality in either of these cases because there is no trauma to the bodies
A gigantic, bloody dead thing just washed up in Indonesia and nobody knows what it is
inside of a man it's too dank to breed
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a walrus
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse
Leprechaun climbing out of penis shoots himself in the car
Man climbing out of car shoots himself in the penis
you mom's got a little pickle in her
your parents are sandwiches
don't say that about my parents
they must be pretty stale by now
apparently when my parents were dating they often ate a place that had good Reuben sandwiches so they always talk about them fondly, but the few times I've had them they've been kind of blah
having never had a Reuben sandwich but honestly thinking it's either one of those unlikely taste sensations or it's just any old shit someone had left over and you know some people will eat anything
wanting to make Kento a Reuben sandwich for his birthday but running out of Russian dressing
we need some more secret sauce, put this mayonnaise in the sun
we call it Freedom Dressing these days
Thousand Island dressing is often used in a Reuben sandwich in lieu of Russian dressing
cod futures soar on hinted Johnson presidential run
Former WWE Superstar and highest paid actor in Hollywood Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson recently said it's a "pull my finger" he will run for president in the future
Former WWE Superstar and highest paid actor in Hollywood Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson recently said it's a "real possibility" he will run for president in the future
Doctors have highlighted the need for awareness of anakinasis, caused by getting sand in your vagina
Doctors have highlighted the need for awareness of anisakiasis, caused by the larvae of a worm found in contaminated undercooked or raw fish or seafood
Daryl turns out to be a racist
Chrislydophon upuranus
Kentoeiphlon odopenus
Cladosiphon okamuranus
This Pokemon's Trainer must prioritize the daily maintenance of its throat at all costs
wondering why the designers thought to make a Pokemon with explicitely sexualized features, as if there weren't already enough people beating off to them already
TSAREENA used DRUNKEN BRAWL! SMOGON is going home in a fucking ambulance!
In victory, it shows off by kicking the defeated, laughing boisterously
A Pokemon known for the beauty of its well shaped legs, it sometimes appears as a mascot in advertisements for beauty salons
taking a restaurant that was rich in steaks and shakes and turning it into a place of buggery and prostitution
taking a country that was rich in soil and minerals and turning it into a place of beggary and destitution
He added that "the rest of his body gets attended to" in Zimbabwe by a physician who is not only Zimbabwean but "is actually black"
he may simply be concentrating if he's hard of hearing now
President Mugabe is not sleeping at conferences, but closing his eyes to protect them, his spokesman says
insane clown pussy
grapefruiting your man William December Williams Jr
grapefruiting your man
William December Williams Jr
Une heure avant la publication des documents, le fondateur du site, William Craddick, annoncait a ses lecteurs qu'une fuite majeure sur Emmanuel Macron etait en preparation
I must have a don'tache, John
I have John a mustache, don't
I don't have a mustache, John
Uber is a transport firm that requires a licence to operate, a senior member of European Union's top court has said
Peter Imhotep, I hardly know 'er!
Peter Imhotep
JAMIE DRACULA
Adam Frankenstein
bottoming for Donald Trump in Basic Pissplay VII
If we survive trump there's gonna be a generation of conservative leaders who have said like "sure that's just basic pissplay" on camera
being mon
Anisakis Skywalker
eating poke
a mash up of the Monster Mash and the themes from Up and M#A#S#H#
a mash up of Twisting the Night Away and the theme from Inception
Hayden Canesten
The brothel "will be equipped with at least four sexual dolls," which will "have body temperature and may groan when touched" and will "wait for the customers in their rooms"
hearing Chewbacca gargle in Stains on the Walking Carpet VII
nose springs
having never heard Chewbacca gargle
NO SPRINGS
Seventeen Moments of Spring
Raleigh man charged with pulling penis at Exposen Park
Raleigh man charged with exposing penis at Pullen Park
the difference between a distant police siren and an owl which is also a jerk
wondering why you keep having such awful dates and then realising that you've actually been signed up to Grendlr
a mash up of Floated Fetus, Eh and Sour Meaty Mike
a mash up of Duel of the Fates and Take Me I'm Yours
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war when he sits in council with his cabinet
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he chokes you harder when you call him daddy
the Danish remake of Jumper, Hygge Yimper
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Kit Fisto when he fists you
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Darth Vader when he chops off your hand
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Chewbacca when he gargles
being kind of surprised that there's no IVchan movie yet
wanting to make a movie called Rotten Tomatoes just to see its Rotten Tomatoes score
Cardigan Transmogrifying
Jumper Ascending
qualifying statement, Jumpers isn't a terrible film, but I did see all of Jupiter Ascending
An erratic action pic with little coherence and lackluster special effects
genuinely it's not a terrible film
A teenager with teleportation abilities suddenly finds himself in the middle of an ancient war between those like him and their sworn annihilators
bottoming for Claudia BBC in Fartgapes VII
wishing you hadn't laminated your list before you could add Claudia Black
that Kento was once mistakenly hired as a mall santa over a misunderstanding about his shaking like a bowel full of jelly
finding Rough Sex Monday's child choked to death in a makeshift noose crafted from a bathrobe in a lower upper market hotel in Singapore
Rough Sex Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace but in a different way
Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace
seeing how they run
naming your meth with Joe Nameth
the entire internet but every time someone writes bee instead of been or see they have to watch the entire Bee Movie and answer questions on Buzzfeed to understand which character they are personally most like or face a writ of damnatio memoriae
in the basket
packing lotion
lacking gumption
bottoming for Cherry Stoner in Ragged and Gaping Red Stained Anal VII
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the cherry stone out of the ragged and gaping red stained canal between the fresh, pert contours of the cherry's lower end trope
Unfortunately, the social media crew failed to notice there was a sex toy prominently displayed in the locker of catcher Kevin Plawecki, which was apparently placed there as part of a clubhouse prank
Pure Grain Cheetos
Pure Grain Cheerios
not drinking cheerios
More than a quarter of young adults in the UK do not drink alcohol, cheerio
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN ONE EYED PANTS MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN POCKET MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN WATER MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
Lolitasize Tehrangeles
Tehrangeles
A fraternity member with bottles of malt liquor affixed to each of his hands with duct tape vomits into a box of breakfast cereal
ensuring Ukrainian food security
Ukraine has banned American action movie star Steven Seagal as a national security threat
working ninety five, what a way to make a living
spurning Temujin's boobs
Bortai spurns Temujin and is taken back in a raid
Ezri Dax taking the safest crap
Ezri Dax
taking the safest crap
Safecrap, the abandonware of scifi
Farscape, the abandonware of scifi
pinko liberal architecture
chrome digizoid
brutalist architecture
having a sudden, weird flashback to the libertarian in you
go hang a salami i'm a lasagna hog
Prince Philip, sixty nine, to step down from pubic duties in fall
Prince Philip, ninety five, to step down from public duties in fall
Inappropriate Laugh Track
Ross Invited Them All to Watch
arriving home and filling your toilet with what has to be close to a gallon of shit
Flacid Brexxxit
Hard Brexxxit
sha la la la la la la, mmm hmm, honk honk
watcing four episodes of Bizarre Food with Andrew Zimmern on the plane and he didn't eat a single cock
having a sudden, weird flashback to blowing a pony
having a sudden, weird flashback to the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope
having a sudden, weird flashback to the librarian in you
snapping teeth out of my jaw after a failed pass attempt
watching a Greek crime drama performed in English but set in the Golden Age in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled titan is named Krono
Krono for short
signed, Kronos
signed, Krono
that on Family Feud today the question was "name something you lick without biting" and this hot chick sad "hot kid" and it was genuinely enraging
the death of Leonardo DiCaprio
the death of Leonardo da Vinci
that on Family Feud today the question was "name something you lick without biting" and this hot chick sad "hot dog" and it was genuinely arousing
flying All Nipple Airways
shitting blood when you brush or floss
I Want To Cash My Car Stealing, Knife Wielding, Twerking Thirteen Year Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime Outside
Guy Fieri Dub Colon The Jamaican Jerk Off
Guy Fieri Dub Colon Turkey Trouble!
spitting blood when you brush or floss
flying All Nippon Airways
I Want To Give Up My Car Stealing, Knife Wielding, Twerking Thirteen Year Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime
United promised that it would never charge passengers for restroom use, though it said other fees allow the company to keep airfares low
wondering if, in the XXX Parody world, there are actors who regularly portray the same people, like the same guy stands in for Richard Dreyfuss in Mr Holland's O Face, Hand in Me, and Gross Encounters of the Turd Kind
he's versatile
topping for Rockhard Dinguss in Mr Holland's Anus
everyone knows that the Seventeenth Battalion Prince of Wales Own West Yorkshire Regiment was full of size queens
One of the miners, rejected on account of his size, offered to fight any man there as proof of his suitability as a soldier, and six men were eventually called upon to remove him
bottoming for Mann Butts in Hard Labour VI
bottoming for Anthony Cock in Butts of Bees III
beeing
bottoming for Rockhard Dinguss in Mr Holland's O Face
eating four hundred and fifty grams of coriander
yeah, that
eatting
eating a pound of cilantro
eating a pound of weed
she sure does
Judy Hopps
by the trasitive property, Seth McFarlane's doll like eyes
you know the thing about Seth McFarlane, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a shark's eyes
Lebron James's toes
Seth McFarlane's shark like eyes
Charlize Practin
Charlize Theron
Aiel Shaon, mermaid
Shaon Ston, Bedrock prostitute
drowning in Shaon Stone's vagina
Demi Kim Pfieff one
imagining the monstrosity one could create with the body parts of Michelle Pfeiffer, Kim Basinger, Demi Moore, and Sharon Stone
just now realising that you've been conflating Michelle Pfieffer with Kim Basinger
she wasn't crossing her legs, she was flopping her dong over her leg for comfort
that scene in Indecent Exposure where Michelle Pfeiffer crosses her legs and her enormous floppy dong falls out
trying to think of the movie with the leg crossing scene and conflating a bunch of stuff into "Indecent Exposure" starring Michelle Pfeiffer
something something fellate me none something frozen meat on demand something Melania something something TRUMP STEAK
asking your TRUMP STEAK to fellate me none
asking your french steak to fellate me none
putting baked beans in the korma
The Party at Gimli and Legolas's
The Party at Kento and Tusks's
The Party at Kitty and Stud's
Kento's GIMLI
Kento's GLOIN
Kento's groin
A "DESTINY" will be given for unorderly penises
A "fail" will be given for unorderly penises
no, she was just flaccid the whole time
she's not the same as Eighteen Inch Michelle Pfieffer, but age withers us all, I guess
bottoming for twelve inch Michelle Pfieffer in The Witches of Eastdick
noticing that Jar Jar has appreciated by XL% but the signed picture of Michelle Pfieffer has depreciated by XXXIII%
the swan, the beak end
the swan, the legend
the man, the legend
Comedy, with a dry twist, will appeal to folks interested in military action
wanting to make Kento a grilled toast sandwich for his birthday
Isaac Toast, muggle
A toast sandwich is a sandwich made by putting a thin slice of toast between two thin slices of bread with a layer of butter, and adding salt and pepper to taste
Kento's being meat first
spinning Brian Peppers' cum into gold
Orf Sex Monday
Millpool
Chris calls it 'sodomyou'
being Kento's first mate
that is honestly the only thing Kento could teach a class on
wanting to educate Kento about the pirate tradition for his birthday
Burg puts historians to shame by raising extremely interesting questions that no one before had asked
Bodmin Okehampton, New England colonist
Clevedon Portishead, Tauren death knight
eating the ablative singular of the Latinised form of Gorden
Gordano Ikeda
The name Gordano comes from Old English and is descriptive of the triangular shape of the whole valley from Clevedon to Portishead, being the ablative singular of the Latinised form of Gorden meaning muddy valley
Gordano's a dump
regrets that were supposed to be texts
stopping at Gordano
if you wanna be the best, and if you wanna beat the rest
Elmo Breeder Group Opposes Bill Outlawing Elmo Rape
Animal Breeder Group Opposes Bill Outlawing Animal Rape
A man in China has inserted a live eel into his anus in the hopes of fixing his constipation, but the extreme measure almost took his life
every episode of Star Trek Colon The Next Generation except every time Riker asks if it could be a star Picard mutters christ and every time it's the Romulans Picard yells OH SHIT A DICK and goes to his ready room to drink tea
Crombrugheella de Ville
Galleria CROMBRUGHEELLA
Galleria mellonella
Doctor Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Exam
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Mustache Ride
wanting to aee it
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Ride, if you know what I mean
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Ride
fuck marry kill, Ender's Game, Six Days Seven Nights, Cowboys & Aliens
hearing about the Millennium Fandom bar and kind of wanting to aee it, on condition that you are permitted to tear off your own skin and hurl it at the nerds like a horrible coat
Ja Rule, Mos Eisley cantina tramp
Ja Rule nominated for Deputy Secretary of United States Department of Housing and Urban Development
I truly apologize as this is NOT MY FAULT
The plush villas that had been promised were actually the same type of tents the Federal Emergency Management Agency uses to bring relief to disaster stricken areas
only blowing about eight ponies per season
Your ignorance makes me ill and angry
Colin Lionel Emm
fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, Mrs Jones, Stacey's mom
thinking being president would be easier
Pokemon Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard
ducking back down the alley with some roly poly little bat faced girl
not getting genital mutilated
policies on compulsory genital inspection for Muslim teenagers
FULLY FUNCTIONAL water
hard water
I can call you daddy
I can call you Betty
Sad!
In an appearance at the University of Chicago on Monday, former President Barack Obama unloaded a relentless barrage of complete sentences in what was widely seen as a brutal attack on his successor, Donald Trump
musky, manly ladies
who needs empathy, human characters, good action, or witty banter when you can just leer at a woman from behind while she rewards an unworthy character with musky, manly, lady objectifying sex
wondering when we're finally going to get the BJ and the Bear reboot, most likely starring the Rock
Carrie Fisher taquitos
Debbie Reynolds vaquitas
you can take all the tea in China
fuck marry kill, Burt Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds, Debbie Reynolds
vaquitas
it's just the bear', that simple bear', forget about your worries and your strife
fuck marry kill, BJ, the Bear, a bear'
sitting around eating Kit Kats and Nik Naks because you're knackered, kid
fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds
fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan
the death of Aunty Fee
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Insemination
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I Hardly Know 'Er!
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Star Trek Colon Nemesis
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Black Cock Down
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Man Smacks Fury Road
little red spicy boys, swear I'll catch you with my hand
Rename Fire Ants to Spicy Boys!!!
Sergeant Stubby
I want the BEST WOMAN, but I need the WORST CAT
You want a good girl, but you need the bad cookie
You want a bad boy, but you need the good dog
You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy
I have no skeletons left
now the skeletons are gone
I have opened the closet and shown the skeletons
drawing a picture of Kento smearing peanut butter on his genitals in the hold of a United Airlines jet while Simon the Giant Rabbit freezes to death
for the sake of accuracy
it was United
drawing a picture of Kento smearing peanut butter on his genitals in the hold of an American Airlines jet while Simon the Giant Rabbit freezes to death
that your sibling is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really got some stools to deposit here
the death of Simon the giant rabbit
freezing all the peanut butter
getting all the way to the hugest dump before you found out it's always closed wednesdays, you got stools to deposit here, it ain't considerate of the local refuse collectors
getting all the way to the dump before you found out it's always closed wednesdays, you got stoolies to deposit here, it ain't considerate of the local refuse collectors
inserting three kilograms of batteries into your urethra
topping for Elias Ashmole in Eli's Asshole Colon It Belongs in a Museum
bottoming for Sir Walter's Cock in The Bride Of Hammermore
"This," thought Lovel to himself, " is a famous counterpart to the story of Kelp on this syde"
world which had the popular religions that also were the most copied ideas world wide, like how Rome completely copied greece
Macedonian PVC
You have a contract to deliver this show to us, and you will continue to deliver the show as best you can on schedule or we will sue you
Corinthian leather, I'm walkin' here
getting in a time machine and going back to when a series of screen shots blending Ricardo Montelban as Khan Noonien Singh and Ricardo Montelban as Mr Roarke would've made a kind of ok joke about de planing
United Airlines is investigating the death of a giant rabbit which was being transported on one of its planes
the unit of "kilogram" isn't even defined "internationally" with the accuracy needed to distinguish the masses of the battery before and after
the death of Kristyna Martelli
When not dressed as an ape, the north London father of two is a policeman
Walrus keeps throwing up fish
Kento applies for fifteenth credit card this year
Last male northern white rhino joins Grindr to raise money
Last male northern white rhino joins Tinder to raise money
huffing Diablo IV
crack cocaine, it's just like World of Warcraft
having seen a lot of ads for shitty online games lately that boast of being "addictive" as though it were a selling point
meeting Brian Peppers until he bragged about being from West Virginia
The Execution Centipede
sucking a Tim Burton heroine's left one until she had a breastgasm
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Sixty Nine Sexecutions LXIX
Arkansas carries out country's first ass to ass executions in almost two decades
A herd of wild boars have mauled three Islamic State militants to death as the extremists tried to ambush locals
Arkansas carries out country's first sixty nine executions in almost two decades
Arkansas carries out country's first BELLY TO BELLY executions in almost two decades
Arkansas carries out country's first back to back executions in almost two decades
je ne veux pas consacrer ma vie a des connards
a wonderful invention with special x ray tricks
that one year where you left it out and discovered that christmas pudding can indeed ferment given time
still having christmas pudding in the fridge, admittedly having only steamed it about a month ago, but still
serving spotted dick with sussex pond pudding and hot wings and calling it sussex hot dick
serving spotted dick with old speckled hen and calling it old speckled dick
Mr Neutralgoodpiss's Deli and Gunsmith
making chili just so you could have a late night chili kid after your workout
making chili just so you could have a late night chili dog after your workout
obviously I'd rather be found dead in front of Fat Gay Asians VIII Colon Underage Bumfight Edition than Everyone Says I Love You, but that's just normal
my parents really want to see it, but I'm not sure why
I probably would watch Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium again
I'd rather be found dead being jackhammered by a blow job bot than found dead watching Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium
having some inkling that when you die, like a lot of single people, you'll be found in front of porn, but being sort of glad you won't be found after your sex bot determined that you had died and summoned help
Kimchee for Kento
the Model I service droid from Arlan Robotics
wondering whether Chris Lydon uses condoms, or whether he has to repurpose surgical gloves
Men removing condoms during sex in disturbing online trend 'stealthing'
Udon for You Mom
Gumbo for Bimbos
Bisque for Bitches
Stock for Skanks
Stew for Slags
Soup for Sluts
Mr Neutralgoodpiss
The Most Neutral Good Piss Ever Made
The Most Dangerous Pistol Ever Made
finding the fresh prints deep in the uncle fill
finding the fresh prints deep in the banks
you look for the fresh prints
wondering how you track Will Smith in the snow
repugnant colon apocrine sweat glands
rude ass titties
In the episode "The Homer they Fall" in Simpson, Homer make KO all homeless men and later he is beat by Drederick Tatum
when Bart always used to say iAy, Harambe!
ma bra, eh
Harambe
Friendship D, eh
wondering when "advertisement" got officially replaced with "sponsored content"
cuando Bart siempre decia Oh penis!
when Bart always used to say iAy, caramba!
na nana nana na na na na nana na, na nana nana na na Myke Harambe
RIP Harambe
When I go to a zoo and I see a gorilla my hormones go absolutely crazy
Our revolutionary forces are combat ready to sink a US nuclear powered aircraft carrier with a single strike
The crying woman is heard saying, "Nobody puts baby in the corner"
The crying woman is heard saying, "You can't use violence with baby"
losing your iris or vagina at Nudity Jr concert
losing your religion at an REM Jr concert
losing your dinosaur at a Virginity Jr concert
losing your virginity at a Dinosaur Jr concert
offending dinosaur sex
dinosaur sex offenders
finding "dinosaur Sex Offender Shuffle with agent fifty seven" in your autofill cache
Campbell Soup Co, which owns Pace Salsa, confirmed that Pace never had a Twitter account
I don't know how I did that
Sex Offender ShuffleCampbell Soup Co, which owns Pace Salsa, confirmed that Pace never had a Twitter account
Sex Offender Shuffle
Vicious Baby Attack Thwarted By Cabin Crew
flying American Airlines, I'm flyin' here
Benoit became good friends with fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero following a match in Japan, when Benoit kicked Guerrero in the head and knocked him out cold
always being sad when the weather in VEGETABLE AVOIDING is better than the weather in real life
always being sad when the weather in Animal Crossing is better than the weather in real life
why else would you level up a Lickitung
feeling a little nauseous at the idea of pokemon tossed salads
feeling a little nauseous at the idea of pokemon caviar
Pokemon Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs
Pokemon Caviar and Cigarettes
Oops! All Caviar and Cigarettes
Oops! All Berries
Hash balls recalled for possible contamination with golf browns
Hash browns recalled for possible contamination with golf balls
that episode of TNG where Troi loses her empathic powers and it's totally like she has PMS
Potable Odo
Menstruable Odo
signing the declination of independence
Rare parchment manuscript of US Declaration of Independence found in England
your new phone teaching itself to help you typo more efficentlt
Star Wats
Star Wats probably has a highly specific droid for your needs
not actually knowing what happens with menstruation in Star Trek, like is there a magical pill you take and it just stops or what
Cuntstable Odo
trying out some of those Odo period panties
trying out some of those Edo period panties
trying out some of those Aslan period panties
trying out some of those Asian period panties
TRIBBIANI NORMANDY PIKES
GOOGLE AVRIL LAVIGNE
honestly though guard the bodyfuck
bing Britney Spears
honestly though fuck the bodyguard
finding out that there is a musical version of The Bodyguard and hoping that Frank is forced to sing a song about hand eye ee eye ee eye co ord in a tion oooo oh co ordination
S E Cupp
seriously craving some Bugger Rink, but not trusting the one by your house since he asked if you have a sister and whether she was "fun"
I'm forming a cadre of Martian knights charged with enforcing Martian law
Under an ancient principle of Anglo Saxon and American law, a person convicted of a crime must be allowed to complete an appeal of the conviction
Skrillex gets pulled off, fingerbanged in Hollywood
not choosing the cyborg life
'American Idol' winner Trent Harmon to headline Steak 'n Shake Carb Night Burger Bash
when you lose all your open tabs and can't remember what they were and your history constantly updates like a single page so it just continually drags your focus away and you're like what the fuck is this fucking dementia shit I am just trying to live
the death of Cuba Gooding Sr
just now looking up what fingercuffing means
Skrillex gets pulled over, fingerbanged in Hollywood
haven't heard a beat like this in ages
asking Yoda why he still hasn't got us a brand deal and we're stuck eating off brand muesli like amateurs and being told we cannot Alpro be
shiokara
kiviaq
Skrillex gets pulled over, fingercuffed in Hollywood
Donald Trump's lawyers have argued that protesters "have no right" to "express dissenting views" at his campaign rallies because it infringes on the US President's First Amendment rights
Skrillex gets pulled over, handcuffed in Hollywood
sales of Barbie have fallen sharply, ah ah ah yeah, adding to a worse than expected slump for Mattel, uu oooh u, uu oooh u
dough thought through nought though sought enough furlough in the borough to tough through a rough cough
though
that is an unfortunate sequence of regrets thought
I've never kept you silent
drraming about repeatedly smashing Justin Bieber's face inti tables snd such in a cartoonishly violent fashion and being frankly surprised at the hostility you appear to hold for him
feeling it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
hey guys, remember Marc Alaimo
I'll start climbing uphill and get out of here
all of Hubbard's feces is being sealed in lucite and lowered into lead lined shafts deep beneath the Arizona desert
millions of Hubbard's words are being etched on steel plates and sealed in titanium crates, filled with inert gases
Fowl Moudama
knowing that Prince put out such a high volume of work that some of it was almost certain to be terrible , but not realising that it was as criminally bad as this joke I'm making
New Prince Songs Blocked by Judge, for Now
Jedi Foul Moudama had enhanced eyesight thanks to his dual set of eyes, and not very poor eyesight requiring extra eyes to compensate like a normal person might have expected
Foul Moudama
Stuntwoman turned actress Susan Backlinie was cast as Chrissie, the first victim, as she knew how to swim and was willing to perform nude
fuck marry kill, Robert Shaw, Run Run Shaw, George Bernard Shaw
fuck marry kill, Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Roy Scheider, Rob Roy
Rob Schneider, I hardly know 'er!
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Rob Reiner, Rod Steiger
something something Kim Jong un something BBC news something Dennis Rodman something missile inspection
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Jon Voight, Chuck Norris
Satellite images suggest North Koreans were plaaaaaying, playing with the boys at their nuclear test site last weekend
Satellite images suggest North Koreans were playing volleyball at their nuclear test site last weekend
fuck marry kill, Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, Kid Rock
Trump hosts Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock at the White House
now, that's clearly a CW show
New Black Girl, Wednesdays at eight central on BET
coming in like a new black girl
coming in like a bawling clerk
coming in like a wrekin ercall
coming in like a wrecking ball
The Butcher Boy, the Cook, His Wedding Night and the Bell Boy
damning dogs for all eternity with Ellen Barkin
The self styled leader of the breakaway republic of Forvik in Shetland has been ordered to do community service for driving a "consular vehicle" with fake number plates and no insurance
witnessing the fitness
drawing a picture of Marc Alaimo at a midwest small town convention discretely letting a fan know that if they really want to put Gul Dukat in his place, for two hundred bucks it can happen
phone tuping
feeling kind of bad for the would be actors whose 'big break' is one season seven episode of a bootleg Trek show, and also for the actual Trek actors who sometimes appear, presumably for most of the budget
feeling a little bit better about all the weeks of your life wasted on watching shitty shows and being stoned whenever someone's fan film extravaganza appears on your radar, because it's not like you REALLY wasted your life like those assholes
After orbiting a planet that is run by the Goa'ulds, The Enterprise receives a distress call from Com Hansen saying that they were attacked by the Goa'ulds and soon after receiving the distress call, Lt Hansen's ship was destroyed by the Goa'ulds
the show, not the movie
that Tony Amendola and Erick Avari wete both in Stargate, which is likely why you managed to conflate them
Bigfoot and Sex Henderson
wondering why Sex Henderson chose to be credited as S Period Henderson in the charming family film Princess and the Pony
Vedek Yarka
that a google image search for Sex Henderson gives a whole lot of Florence Henderson
apparently confusing both Erick Avari and Tony Amendola both with one another and with some guy, who may have been Princess and the Pony star Sex Henderson
or a guy in a rubber mask who really reminded me of that guy
plus it has that guy from Stargate who kind of looks like Hamid Karzai
Princess of Mars is actually pretty solid, in a hokey tv movie kind of way
Traci Lords never did anal, but there's no way that you could have known that I know that
really enjoying the vegan no soy easter egg you got and wishing you got two
Traci Lords Colon Underneath It All
She has also said that she hopes to run for a major party nomination to be President of the United States upon her reaching the age of thirty five, per the minimum age requirement for United States presidents
the other tenants have been complaining about the incessant swaddling
She puts together, like, six weeks at a time of sobriety, then drifts away
Conaway joined Celebrity Rehab castmate Mary Carey at the premier of her spoof flick Celebrity Pornhab with Dr Screw
RIP Jeff Conaway
RIP Michael O'Hare
RIP Andreas Katsulas
RIP Richard Biggs
RIP Jerry Doyle
wondering what happened to Claudia Christian after Babylon V snd deducing that Robin Baumgarten is wearing her, Buffalo Bill style
Jeopardy contestant blurts out hilariously wrong answer to question
MAJOR laserwort
hey guys, remember Jaylaser, beep boop
hey guys, remember Jimmy's jammin' jambalaya laserwort
just take a deep breath and hope the swelling goes down
trapped in these guys what am I to do
trapped in the skies what am I to do
deriding a side saddle rider drinking cider while she derides the cider inside you
laserwort removal
Owl sex interrupted a Florida tennis match
owl ceviche
Loud sex interrupted a Florida tennis match
rarest owl
def jam Bono montages
hey guys, remember Jimmy's jammin' jambalaya
laserwort
JIMMY'S JAMMIN' JAMBALAYA
def twins Bono menage
performing Queen songs in the style of a grizzled nineteenth century prospector, dagnabbit
licking it head on and meating it
Plum BUTTERCUP POST COITAL Praying Mantis SWORDFIGHTING
waffle stompers
bottoming for Fuckmonster Bueller in Fuckmonster Bueller's Gay Off VII
INDUSTRIAL MULBERRY JOULES
def twins homo menage
Homemade Fig Newtons
Plum Blossom Praying Mantis Boxing
fig ruse
figures
Shattered Colon Inside Hillary Clinton's Doomed Campaign
premature EPS conduit rupture
Well, you're just going to have to learn how to bow down and say master
meeting it head on and licking it
wondering what percentage of assimilated borg got some kind of telescoping plasma dick implant
A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away
FULLY FUNCTIONAL borg implants
borg implants
the best of both worlds, PART II
the best of both worlds
busty girthy chickdudes
thy rugs died
girthy dudes
sticky chubs
kitschy cubs
busty chicks
string petril
string theory
Miracle Whip will not tone it down
girth essence
string cheese
Rita Marley Harambe
The Official Dick Out For Harambe Website
Ariel Winter Displays Dick Out For Harambe
Boobsot Coochollo, deathstick dealer
The Official Dick Hyman Website
Orool Wontor Dosploys Boobs ot Coochollo
Ariel Winter Displays BLUNDERING DUNDERHEADS at Coachella
Ariel Winter Displays NINNIES at Coachella
Ariel Winter Displays Boobs at Coachella
asking Phil Jupitus if he petted us
hunting for holly with Holly Hunter
Becoming a ninja
I don't think that's going to make the deli girl like you
trying to become more avuncular than creepy
eating junk all day long and somehow ending up with heartburn and a headache
eating junk food all day long and somehow ending up with heartburn and a headache
Damn Heligolanders! They ruined Heligoland!
many Heligolanders were living in exile in the coastal city of Cuxhaven
Mister Ed and the Dodgers
Goldie Hawn, Nabooan Senator
I've had it up to here with these damn rickets
Adele Dazeem, Nabooan Senator
Pamela Adlon, Nabooan Senator
Sebooan Nanator, Nabooan Senator
Orth Korena, Nabooan Senator
Orth Korena
the willingness of Korena missiles to explode only show the extreme ardor of their opposition to Western imperialism and devotion to Our Leader
North Korea 'will test missiles weekly', senior official tells BBC "They will all crash"
fart fist dancing
standing traffic
TN woo
O Town
Mugwumps get knocked down, and they don't get up again
for goodness NIHONSHU
chinnery
Mugwumps
ordering an assing
for goodness sake
ordering an adsing
ordering plush noun soup
ordering un poupon slush
kind of loving Jennifer Love Hewitt, that magnificent bastard
the President Donald J Trump Creativity Church of Rome
one of the west coast newspapers called us commie midget
Brian de Palma and Brian Glover's lovechild, Brian Deglover
Sousson Pannan, Outer Rim Smuggler
Sousson Pannan
Daisy reportedly threw him out after he failed to pay for the wedding and then stole some pigs and a saddle
I say to thee, respectfully
Justices on Brazil's supreme federal court wear their black robes belted with a thick metal buckle and floor length capes
face ass take on, The British Bulldog, Darth Vader, Kento
wanting to schedule Kento to first face, then ass, then face and ass Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
killing whores with Keeley Hawes
all the trouble your laptop has been for the last like six years or however long you've had it for
President Garfield, died on a Monday, buried on a Tuesday, decomposed on Wednesday, decomposed on Thursday, decomposed on Friday, decomposed on Saturday, decomposed on Sunday, President Garfield
well, he was shot months earlier but died on a monday
that President Garfield was killed on a monday
the death of an eight year old child in Twickenham in MMXIII, who collided with a player of British bulldog while playing a different game
Guiteau reportedly wanted a British Bulldog revolver with ivory grips instead of wooden ones, as he believed they would look nicer when the gun was displayed in a museum
WWF World Heavyweight Champion Bret Hart and The British Bulldog took on Vader and The Patriot in a tag team, eh, cheerio, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!, I'm walkin' here
wanting to schedule Kento to ASS Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
facing dude love
wanting to schedule Kento to face Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
On the afternoon of the event, Brian Pillman, who was scheduled to face Dude Love on the show, was found dead in his hotel room
Badd Blood Colon In Your House
tasseography
The missile blew up almost immediately
vibrating bum faced goats
the International Rutabaga Curling Championship
biscuits with nakko cheese
triscuits with nacho cheese
coming here to be all out of tall ships and too early for space ships sorghum
coming here to be all out of tall ships and too early for space ships
sorghum
dickbitches
dickmares eat oats and dickdoes eat oats and little dicklambs eat ivy
dickmares
is a WAFFLE
my daughter
I don't think that you grasp the magnitude of the regret that I'm feeling here
blowing a pony's left one until she killed the California girls
banging a Tim Burton heroine until she had a waffle
The Shining but instead of Jack saying "here's Johnny!" it's Nicolas Cage saying "not the bees!" and instead of forgetting where I was going with this it's witty and on point, damn Daniel
Bobby Brown but the 'by' is the Bee Movie trailer
Pokesupermon
Pokemon Man and Superman
theiliad
theodicy
No one wants to run flat out and put their head into a wall
Murad signed a statement saying that he was innocent and that he was a tourist visiting his friend in his chemical import export business
eating curry on an empty stomach
Utah judge calls ex Mormon posh bear convicted of pi a 'doom nag'
Nineties jokes
Utah judge U U U UTAH JUDGE calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'GREAT SUPERMAN'
Utah judge calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'good man'
Utah judge calls ex Mormon bishop convicted of rape a 'good man'
Ghostbusters II but ev
Ghostbusters but every instance of the word ghost is edited into the word goat
Oh christ on a bike
Ghostbusters but ev
buggering nerds
debugging nerds
coding nerds
developing nerds
using a silicon based lubricant with your jedi boyfriend
using a petroleum based lube with your cheerleader girlfriend
everybody knows cheerleaders are made of rubber, they ain't got no feelings
this is going places I wish it hadn't
A worse old rape device that can pull bras off cheerleaders could transform life for developing nerds in parts of the world
A solar powered device that can pull bras off cheerleaders could transform life for developing nerds in parts of the world
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing world rationing icy nude bras to the naked cheerleaders
A solar powered device that can convert power into other kinds of power could transform life for people in parts of Tosche Station
bedeutsamen zweifel
A force powered device that can cut clean through anything could transform life for sand people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
putting enter next to delete
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water o could transform life for sand people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
it's hip to be movie
only in German, presumably
Investigators in Germany say there is "significant doubt" that Tuesday's attack on the Borussia Dortmund team bus was the work of radical Islamists
Mustache on People's Court
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing world
rationing icy nude bras to the naked cheerleaders
thinking it's kind of an indictment of society that even after all these years there's still no Icy Nude Bra Ration
thinking it's kind of an indictment of society that even after all these years there's still no Urbane Dictionary
saying I'm the only bee in your bonnet but every time you say bee it's the entire Bee Movie and every time they say bee it slows down
saying I'm the only bee in your bonnet
a boy went back to Champs Elysees, because he missed the scenery, the native walrus and the podcasters, but wait a minute, something's wrong! 'cause now it's "Hey Kento, Kento Eiffeliano"
Kento Eiffeliano
it's hip to be Data
hip Data
pad thai
you don't wanna sew my thumb where my shit cums out
you don't wanna see my thumb where my shit comes out
you don't wanna see my thumb where my lips eat at
you don't wanna see my thumb where my lips be at
sewing a thumb to your lips
putting a thumb to your hips
putting a thumb to your lips
Donald Trump's superfluous second anus Ashton Kutcher's webbed toes
Donald Trump's superfluous second anus
Ashton Kutcher's webbed toes
Zac Efron's nipples
Megan Fox's thumb
that apparently there is a serious The OC style drama based around the Archie comics characters and that is terrible and hilarious and stupid and amazing and I really want to see it
sha la, la, la, la, la, la, la
life is as pointless as counting crows
the Simpsons are going to lewd area!
the Simpsons are going to Delaware!
The posting notes that the assailant was "bouta fight her," followed by several emojis indicating that a person was laughing so hard she was crying
I couldn't be more thrilled to expand on Jim Henson's mesmerizing universe, and take a new generation of moviegoers back into the Labyrinth
wanting to make Kento a Whopper for his birthday
ultra obscene
somebody edited Wikipedia to describe the Whopper as the "scrotum growth rape drub" and another added nice day to the list of ingredients
somebody edited Wikipedia to describe the Whopper as the "worst hamburger product" and another added cyanide to the list of ingredients
one more heartbeat and you walk the wire
Video shows cop slam and beat black pedestrian after alleged jaywalking
imagaining a "the Aristocrats!" style joke with "the Ikedas!" as the punchline
A walrus Tickle Me Elmo is terrifying the Ikedas
A furless Tickle Me Elmo is terrifying the internet
if Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick
I'll have the cream of Sum Yung Gai
constantly cumming in Constance Cummings
I thought I had mono once for an entire year, turned out i was just really bored
if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he hopped
Noe Cowa
Bythe Spirt
as long as they keep pumping in the quarters who gives a shit, right
kids know dick
downloading multiple copies of the book "The Comedy Database of Errors" bythe incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
fffffffffff
pink't bum tubes
you're hypnotised, by these colours all around you
COMMITTING TO that FANCIEST face SCOURING SARCOPHAGUS because I SHOWED it on FACEBOOK
M'Lady, Vulcan ensign
Gungan Flufflers
Wookiee Wranglers
Ewok Handlers
I'm Sauron, Ms Jackson, no man can kill me
trading your colon in a game of cards
it was thanks to that card game that I know what a Gaderffii Stick is
Frances Alfred Basil Tomlin
nope, I apologize, I had him confused with BoShek
buying twenty dollars worth of packs of the old Star Wars Colon Customizable Trading Colon Card Colon Game as a teenager and opening like seven Ric Olies
nobody even says his name on screen
remembering that the name of the pilot in The Phantom Menace was Ric Olie and even how to spell his name but not remembering how the electron shell thingy works even though you spent years trying to learn it
J Geils, remember J Lala
In the complaint for damages, a man identified as DH, who claims he was sexually abused by Murray in his former Capitol Hill apartment, made specific remarks regarding the mayor's body and a mole on his genitalia
m'lady
tipping your fedora at Medea
fancying your clean face
cleansing your fancy face
trying out that fancy face cleansing mask because you saw it on Instagram
I'm sorry Ms Jackson BWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM we need to go deeper
in the summertime when you come on Eileen
the death of my angel is the centerfold in the summertime when the golden brown texture like come on Eileen
the band of J Geils
Magic Jew is Dickish
Magic Dick is Jewish
the death of J Geils
Pokemon The Funkiest Man You've Ever Seen
Pokemon Red and Green
Pokemon Black and White
Balaeniceps rex
the towns of Samnium have become villages, and most have vanished altogether
pitching a porn parody of Hackers, Knackers
Pokemon Scat and Bestiality
it's mostly swearing and nudity, but there's some scat and bestiality at the top of the second act
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson insists that the upcoming "Baywatch" movie reboot is "far dirtier" than the classic TV series
She tells him that, "this Dairy Queen is closed," which I assume to mean that they severed her milk ducts when she got those implants
Anyway, Aunt Becky looks fly as fuck, and she immediately starts talking to Jesse about how firm her ass is and then they start making out
flying Untied
chugging the same ache all week
French Jewel Thieves Tie Up Jewel, Spoon at Gunpoint
French Jewel Thieves Tie Up Catilyn Jenner, Steal Penis at Gunpoint
Caitlyn Jenner Confirms Her Penis Is Gone!
Even after the tenements were demolished, he continued to live in a pitched tent on the site
pink mutt pubes
Pumpkin Buttes
when I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts and just dual your banjoes
when I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts and just pull you real close
leaving my cool bay leaves to Michael Bay
always thinking there were more than three players on a football team but you never really knew the rules that well
A XIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII year old teacher from California has allegedly had sex with the three football team players of Mount Shasta High School
A XXXXII year old teacher from California has allegedly had sex with the three football team players of Mount Shasta High School
having literally never heard of Robert Irvine until just now, cheerio
learning that Robert Irvine has his own Jerry Springer style daytime trash TV show and wondering how the world got to this point
beaming Potor Noppors
renaming Dwayne Johnson the Cod on the grounds that you eat what you be
renaming Kento Ikeda the Cock on the grounds that you are what you eat
renaming Dwayne Johnson the Cod on the grounds that you are what you eat
flying United
bottoming for Jim West, desperado in The Thickest They Is VII
David Manning
meeting Broon Poppors
being the slickest they is
picking either "fame and fortune but you're married to Avril Lavigne and Miley Cyrus simultaneously" or "finding Jewel's sex tape but it also stars your parents"
I don't want to see that
sewing Will Smith's hand where his hip be at
I thought you'd stopped that chopshop body mutilation stuff
seeing Will Smith's hand where his hip be at
you don't wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies
My lips purse, like a cat's arse that's brushed against nettles
Fake call centre scam mastermind Sagar Thakkar 'Shaggy' arrested in Mumbai, defiantly declares "it wasn't me"
doing a google image search for "Ned Flanders dikplay"
doing a google image search for "Ned Flanders cosplay"
keep fucking that chicken
Tony Orlando and Bloom
Bootros Bootros Gholo
Tony Orlando and Dawn and thrush
Tony Orlando and Dawn, we're gonna keep on truckin'
Pokemon Tony Orlando and Dawn
I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy are my mother's arms tired!
ROP Poochos
I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy are my fat wife's mother in law's arms tired!
Poochos died on the way back to her home planet
Poochos Honooblossom Goldof
Moko Howko, podracing champ
Roth Onglond, bounty hunter
Roth Onglond
Moko Howko
Jom Wost, dosporodo
wondering how much Diane slash Rebecca fanart there is
wondering how much Norm slash Carla fanart there is
jillin' Sam, Jem'hadar
jillin' Sam
jackin' REBECCA
oh yeeeaah, stroke that dong, long after the feel of the orgasm is gone
little ditty, 'bout jackin' Diane, twelve inch dickgirl, who needed a hand
jackin' Diane
Chopfyt
Kento takes up a surprising amount of floorspace
wondering how it is possible that Sisqo's costume from the Wild Wild West video is not in the Smithsonian's "Gayest Things of All Time" exhibit
having enough parts left over to make Brie Brie
your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's BOAC
making Alison Larson out of Brie Larson and Alison Brie and just selling the rest through a deli
remembering Dru Hill as a name but not remembering anything they released and having no idea that Sisqo wasn't just some prick with silver paint sprayed on his head who had a hit one time
West, Jim West, juggalo
As a teen, Mark Andrews worked at The Fudgery in Baltimore's Inner Harbor with Larry "Jazz" Anthony, James "Woody" Green, and Tamir "Nokio" Ruffin
West, Jim West, desperado
I'd love to see you pee on us tonight
Lodo Gogo
Benny Kaker
I'll wrap Myke Hawke in bandages, 'til it gets ridiculous
I'll wrap myself in bandages, 'til it gets ridiculous
because we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, and Pong is proof
wondering what it is like to be a male podcaster and know that at any given moment there are at least several million fat gay Asians masturbating to you
wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred gays masturbating to you
signed, Kento
wondering what it is like to be a male celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you
Honore de Balzac's La Comedie Humaine d'abeille
The Human Bee Movie
Ivar Boner, I hardly know 'er
bottoming for Ivar Boner in Red Raw VII
The entire F#R#I#E#N#D#S# theme song except every time they say be it cuts to the entire bee movie but every time they say bee it cuts to the entire F#R#I#E#N#D#S# theme song
Alfhild Gandolfsdatter
Ivar the Skinless
Ivar the Deboned
Ovor tho Ongono
Pokomon
Ovor tho Bonoloss
Ivar the Boneless
Sonoc
Sonic tho Hodgohog
Sopor Moroo Bros
signed, aging podcaster Chris Lydon
we're living in a simulation and I prong poofs
butt waggling
There are many jugglers who can issue fire from their mouths, bind and release themselves, and dance on twenty balls
a mash up of the theme from Terminator, the music from the first world of Super Mario Bros, and Mele Kalikimaka
projecting the core
rejecting the core
injecting the core
spoolor olorts
ojoctong tho coro
erecting the cejo
ejecting the core
being rolled over by a fat gay Asian
being jumped over by a fat gay Asian
being jumped over by a quick brown fox
jumping over a lazy dog
jumping over a full sized billiard table, a six foot high jump performed with ankles tied, and leaping over a horse XIII hands high
Thomas Neill Cream
the third wave of scat
the third wave of ska
we're living in a simulation and Pong is proof
The entire Bee Movie except every time they say bee it cuts to Worf saying MINSK
The entire Bee Movie except every time they say bee it cuts to Jared Fogle eating a six inch cold cut combo while masturbating to the Disney Channel
According to a forensic psychiatrist who testified for Fogle's defense team, a bee should not be able to fly
wanting to make Kento a Cuban sandwich for his birthday
According to a forensic psychiatrist who testified for Fogle's defense team, Fogle suffered from a compulsive eating disorder for several years before losing weight, and replaced food with a sense of "hypersexuality", which included a "mild case" of pedop
chowing down on a submarine sandwich
going down on a submarine
going down on an aging podcaster
going down on a sinking ship
signed, Kento Ikeda
I want it all, and I want it now
Anal's Cruises
Carnal Issues
Insular Cases
it's more likely that Walsh left because she couldn't stand the unpleasantness of working for a guy who refuses to wear pants
They came to work for the president but found themselves working for Donald Duck
They came to work for the president but found themselves working for Donald Trump
regrets about Vladimir Putin blowing a pony
depicting Vladimir Putin as a gay clown in the bathroom at church
even Barbra Streisand is going to get in on that one
depicting Vladimir Putin as a gay clown in England
A Russian Court Ruled You Can't Depict Vladimir Putin as a Gay Clown in Russia
I think on some level I always knew you were really from Guam
Today, the program is heard on more than DC stations in the US, Canada, Australia and Guam
listening to Coast to Coast AM every night for like five years in high school to college
getting into Welcome to Night Vale because a coworker hyped it up
Patricia Mae Andrzejewski
Lesotho snakes
Kento's asshole
the death of Dick Loners
the death of Don Rickles
first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Charizard with some paperwork for you to initial and sign and then it'll really be over
Pokemon for mediation and divorce
Pokemon for stag parties and hen nights
Pokemon for weddings and funerals
Pokemon Four Weddings and a Funeral
masturbating to Kento's sorehead pals
assuming John Hannah's gender
thinking of funny drinks is hard
plenish nutmilk pants
filing the heftiest owl
CELERIAC cat
robinsons fruit squash pants
ribena pants
vimto pants
innocent smoothie pants
um bongo pants
capri sun pants
parsnip cat
craps paint
panic traps
capri pants
You can lose your files and none of that is a heftier owl!
You can lose your life and none of that is worth a selfie!
pitting your children against one another in a fight club over international waters
pitting
being shanked at a rave by Ravi Shankar
shuking
shitting and puking at the same time
Kento's hellish anal measure
Kento's divine anal units
Kento's antediluvian sin
Nivea pulls 'white is purity' ad after outcry
flooding Kento's hole compartment
pulling mule
hauling ass
Reconstruction is also the name Chris Lydon gave to the period after the emancipation of Kento's ass
the least accurate slider would be eliminated from the game and choose a present from under a giant Christmas tree
bottoming for Ballsac Asriptov in I, Handjob Robot
the church and the steeple, the laundry on the hill
Spongebob's queer pants
Kento requires full rectal reconstruction after being Eiffel Towered
Bullfighter requires full rectal reconstruction after being gored
kinning that boy in Ithaca
kithing that boy in Ithaca
Pentagon Upgrades Mama June Threat Level From Revenge Body To Terror Body
then things got weird
Dean had really great tits until he took the dress off
she kind of looks like this guy Dean I used to live with
Girls on the Go! Mama June Lands with Honey Boo Boo in NYC to Show Off Svelte New Revenge Body
bottoming for Myke Hawke in Artillery Batteries VII
Meating J, juggalo
batteries in Myke Hawke
The United States has spoken enough about North Korea Hariyama semen in Myke Hawke
The United States has spoken enough about North Korea
Hariyama semen in Myke Hawke
Hariyama
semen in Myke Hawke
the way that the latest versions of Firefox get really sluggish if you leave them open for too long
blood in my stool
feces in my pot
urine in my kettle
zerg killing that dog in Ithaca
Joon Boptosto Omonool Zorg
killing that dog in Hungry Horse
zerg
killing that dog in Ithaca
converting power
they go great with a nice vegan ribeye with a Steaks Are High rub
being a little too attached to Tulip Reefers
being a little too attached to Fruit Peelers
Dwayne Douglas Johnson not knowing offhand when babies begin teating
Dwayne Douglas Johnson
not knowing offhand when babies begin teating
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the hoes he goes
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the garden hose
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the garden he goes
I had another one but he wasn't related by blood so when he divorced my aunt he became dead to me
I have a racist uncle too
tell your sister, you were right
you were right about us
except that it's completely the same thing
kind of wishing your last surviving grandparent had died or been institutionalised with dementia or something instead of spending most of your own life retired and bitching drunkenly about foreigners, who of course are not like his wife
being pretty miserable about what a shitty country you seem to be living in lately and the awful, low key racism of your uncle
turning off the web cam and microphone in your laptop and wondering firstly if you even remembered to disable them when you replaced the hard drive and secondly whether Windows just randomly enables them by default or whenever there's a major update
watching Moana on the airplane and wondering if it really was THE PAPER because it sounded more like WENTY TWON
watching Moana in smellovision and being sure that it really was The Rock because he reeked of fish
watching Moana on the airplane and wondering if it really was The Rock because it sounded more like Jack Black
henlo vigilante, helllo you TWISTED VIGILANTE, go take the law into your own hands ugly
I'm a vigilante, TWISTED vigilante
I'm a vigilante, I'm a Grammer vigilante
I'm a vigilante, I'm a grammar vigilante
Beauty Beating Off Boss Baby and Blowing the Beast Blows Up Box Office
yes I think I've seen this one before
blonde on blonde anus jig
When he was told by a friend that she was not working in a cafe the ground upon which he was walking was suddenly swept away from him
learning to play blonde anus jig
learning to play dueling banjos
Boss Baby Beats Beauty and the Beast at the Box Office
not knowing offhand when babies begin teething
with today's modern cars you can't get lost
solitary servants of a faceless crime
not being able to finish off anyone you've ever started
Twhaching off
nauseating Twitch terms of service
violating Twitch terms of service
Swedish berries
BISMUTHING a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
leading a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
kneading a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
needing a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Penis Tug Undies
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Genuine Stupids
Crocodile Studies would have been so much funnier
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Penguin Studies
it's fun to stay at the O U M A
Oiled Up Muslim Association Of New Brunswick
drawing a picture of Dennis Rodman licking peanut oil off of Kim Jong un's massive manboobs
hallucinating, chasing, changing, racing, breaking, hating till you lost it all
North Korea's premiere homoerotic channel
oiled up manbang
bottoming for Tim Allen in Homo Empire Men TV
imagining Tim Allen's Home Improvement slicked open parenthesis Tim Allen noise close parenthesis face looming over you
MARBLING Tim Allen
Twin Long Rods #Two meating Jewel's wife, then finishing off on Jewel's mom
meating Jewel's wife, then finishing off on Jewel's mom
oiled up manbearpig
we're off to see the wizard, the Dremel Wizard of Oz
wondering what kind of noises Tim Allen makes when he has sex
COWARDLY Tim Allen
slutty Tim Allen
slating Tim Allen
Pokemon Sluts and Cowards
Slut or Coward
Doctor Walrus
Doctor Who gets first openly Asian companion
Doctor Who gets first openly fat companion
ooh you make me live
Doctor who gets first openly gay companion
Doctor Who gets first openly gay companion
circumcising John Peel in the toilet
we initially wanted to get Pamela Anderson to play the Indian woman tied to the post but Streep's audition was just too damn good
naming your muscular gastropod the Guns of Abalone
Haley and Otis getting halitosis from eating Haliotis
Alien vs Custer
you had me at Tim Allen slated
Tim Allen slated to star in Custer's Revenge big screen treatment
Reece Shearsmith's Mum 'Rescued' A Sparrow
fistipeds
the one hundred and twenty eighth birthday of the Eiffel Tower
Tim Allen's ill advised Native American themed porno, Tim Allen Res Erection
Anderson was named most powerful Canadian in Hollywood in MMV, proving that she is a Sith Lord
Pamela Hyytiainen
Denny's Colon The Movie starring The Rock as Grand Slamwich
the Government of India honoured her with the Padma Shri, the fourth highest civilian award, and Time magazine named her one of the one hundred most influential people in the world, and now she's playing the villain in the Baywatch movie
The entire Baywatch movie except it is just replaced by footage of The Rock eating eight hundred and twenty three pounds of cod
it has The Rock in it because everything has The Rock in it
seeing a poster for the Baywatch remake and thinking it was either a joke or the porn parody, but no, it's genuine
The entire movie Barb Wire except Pamela Anderson is replaced with an actual fencepost wrapped in barbed wire
A Barbed Wire Massacre Match is a match where the ring ropes replaced are barbed wire and the weapons themselves are wrapped in barbed wire as well
it was quite enough
having seen Bee Movie, but only the version that doubles in speed every time they say bee
fissipeds
having never actually seen Bee Movie
"Crocodile" Dundee except every reference to crocodiles is now a reference to bees and every time Linda Kozlowski wears just underwear it slows down and when she wears no underwear it's pitch bent up an octave
monstrous pike
Pikemonstrous
monstrous
eating all three of the mango doughnuts
The US State Department and the White Ho us e are sending contradictory messages on Syria and should start leading and not foc us excl us ively on fighting Islamic State
Tim Alien Resurrection
Tim Alien
The Entire Fat Gay Asians VII but edited by Zach Braff so all the urolagnia happens off screen and every time anyone speaks they're dubbed with bee from the Bee Movie Trailer
The Entire Bee Movie except it is just Kento fellating Chris Lydon for ninety minutes
PYGMY GENITAL Rave Trailer, Eh
EVERYTHING Gameplay Trailer
making like an icecream truck and playing music to attract children then making them pay for a taste of what you got
According to all known bees of bees, there is no bee that a bee should be able to be
According to all known laws of pornography, there is no way that a walrus should be able to Eiffel Tower
making like a fat gay Asian and having a podcaster in front and a walrus in back
making like a pickup truck and having a redneck in front and a pig in back
isdmxinjail dot com
The entire Alien movie except the Alien is replaced by Tim Allen
Tim Allen vs Predator
"Missing Indonesian Man Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Python" is not news, "Missing Python Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Indonesian Man" is
Missing Indonesian Man Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Python
Overt Sex Organ Rick Perry has a cameo appearance in the film as himself
Tim Allen Colon Covenant
open parenthesis Tim Allen Noise close parenthesis
Tim Allen cubed
Tim Allens
Tim Allen
Texas Governor Rick Perry has a cameo appearance in the film as himself
he's the kid from the Lion King, Tim Allen noise
he's the kid from the Lion King, riiiight
wanting to make Kento like a fuck truck for his birthday
making like a fuck truck and rocking back and forth in an underpass
making like a fire truck and screaming as you overtake other drivers
fmk, JLH, SMG, JTT
making like a bread truck and hauling buns
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly
shtick
SNL Celebrity Jeopardy except Alex Trebek is replaced by Professor Oak
LICK THESE, OAK
hey guys, remember the titans
dismembering the titans
remembering the titans
LIKE HOTCAKES
selling those this
Reinvent Fit Ho Jewel
wondering how long it would take to get a couple million "My Dick Silences Nothing" t shirts printed up, because those this are going to sell like hotcakes
registering 'my dick silences nothing' as a trademark
registering 'my dick is ten inches long' as a trademark
With regards to the size of the bread and calling it a footlong, 'Subway Footlong' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length
Mexico City Starts Hand Job Apocalypse By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Sandwiches
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Busty Ass Awe
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Spokesman
Mexico City Causes Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
because of the implication
she liked it
that's messed up, you shouldn't hit on your cat
I had a cat like that
lots of people have seven fingers on their right hand, that doesn't prove anything
having never been in a year long relationship, unless you count awkwardly flirting with someone literally genetically close enough to be your daughter for the past few years
having never been in a year long relationship, unless you count awkwardly flirting with someone literally young enough to be your daughter for the past few years
sellabrayting you're won yere anniversery
Pentagon "reluctantly" agrees to nuclear strike on Toronto as part of one year inaugural anniversery celebration
I'm extremely reluctant to produce an improvised list of military vehicles that we might be held to
Scarbott Johandjjob Nine Thousand and One Says Necklace Of Ripped Off Dicks Was 'Grounding' During Power Surge
Scarlett Johansson Says Fellating Ugly Scottish Men Was 'Grounding' During Filming
Scarlett Johansson Says Nursing Her Daughter Was 'Grounding' During Filming
the importance of the Mises Hayek paradigm as an alternative to equilibrium economics by illustrating the unreal nature of equilibrium theorizing
what eats me, a wolf in a Tex Avery cartoon
something punishy but not crippling
kind of hoping Brexit just peters out after a few years, with obviously generational financial repercussions but also with a humiliating defeat for those that threw themselves into it as though it were ever a worthwhile hill to die on
Never mind the Bolloxit, Here's the Sexit!
A more appropriate front page for today's Daily Mail
Never mind Brexit, who won Dicksit!
getting all gusseted up
I'm really sorry about that, we really should have dealt with this by now
Never mind Brexit, who won Legsit!
getting all pussied ug
getting all gussied up
having no apatite for fission track dating
Pokemon hpt and sau
Kevins James inexplicably Heartland Poker Tour wife
pitching a movie where Kevin James inexplicably hpt wife is literally a character named Nora Lee and every time he introduces her to someone he's forced to sau "this is my wife, Nora Lee" and nobody quite believes him
Saltmen
Kovon Jomos, Sith Lord
divas can at least sing
Kevin James is such a diva
I can honestly say I'll take one for the team here and just let world go without one more Kevin James movie
so either you stitch me up in Padme's entrails or the deal is fucking off
I don't need your shit, I'm set to rake in fifty mil from The Zookeeper Two Colon Zookeep Harder
listen Kevin, you need to keep working, you're only going to grow less endearing as you age
I refuse
I was thinking we would just use some kind of prosthetic, or maybe make him wear one of those pingpong ball suits
you would first have to figure out how to encase Kevin James in Natalie Portman's bowels with just his lips protruding at the anus
that would make ten billion dollars
Transformers VI Colon Natalie Portman's Talking Rectum! starring KEVIN JAMES as the rectum and Kate Upton as his wife no really
hey, I wasn't judging, all you have to do is look to the mid two thousands "Morbidly Obese Stupid Man With Hot Wife" era of American primetime comedies
listen buddy, the way your president and his Russian pals have been carrying on at my expense lately I'm this close to getting the marines and torching Washington again, don't be making it worse ragging on panto
they love talking assholes in China, it's like ugly old men in drag for the British
you should have pitched it as a Transformers sequel
you know I pitched that and they said it'd never get made it'd never find an audience she'd never agree to it and I said you know Being John Malkovich got made it'll work and they said no, and now this
Step right up and see the AMAZING, the ASTONISHING, the ASTOUNDING, Natalie Portman's Talking Rectum!
typical vegan, always farting
Natalie Portman Colon "Paris Has Improved a Lot for Vegans"
no, this is Patrick
Spongebobbing Chris Lydon
sandblasting Chris Lydon
spongebathing Chris Lydon
The notion of the fantasy scenarios ending in popping or explosion is often a divisive topic in the community
Machine which TITS breasts grows as I walk
Krasnoludek
Skarbnik
IF MY DOCTOR HAD READ THE MEDICAL LITERATURE INSTEAD OF THE ADS I WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE THIS TODAY
Douglas Carswell quits UKIP, leaving party with no MPs
feeling that "Trumpflation" has been wasted on economics, even if it will eventually come around to being used to describe his egotistical statements and conflation of fact and fiction
perspiring milt
aspiring milt
not choosing the wagon life
Trumpflation
United Airlines bars teenage girls in leggings from flight
there is no watermelon here
finding a to do list from four and a half years ago instructing yourself to, among various mundane chores, "eat watermelon"
sploonwort
spleenwort
aspirating milt
not choosing the vagina life
drownong in Domo Mooro's pool
Pool Dovod Howson
Tho Odgo
Mochool Jockson's "Bod"
Mobo posong on Jopon
Moron Bochstonsongor
Murun Buchstansangur
always confusing young John Simm with Dominik Diamond
Londo McCortnoo, roguish cloud miner
drawing a picture of Pool McCortnoo sucking on Londo McCortnoo's thick grooso soosogo and pushing her plom tomotoos around with his fongors
you had to go and make it sexual
drawing a picture of Paul McCartney sucking on Linda McCartney's thick greasy penis and pushing her testicles around with his fingers
drawing a picture of Paul McCartney sucking on Linda McCartney's thick greasy sausage and pushing her plum tomatoes around with his fingers
Denmark has the world's highest per capita consumption of sausage
really being quite surprised to find a presumably monthly magazine about vegan life lasting more than twenty issues in the UK, which is as much as eighty percent meat
wondering if the publishers of Vogue magazine are planning on suing the publishers of Vegan Life magazine for their slogan "Bringing Vegan into Vogue" in England
Moby posing in the UK
not choosing the shalom life
fuck marry kill, a crab, a carrot, Oasis
something something War War something Jar Jar something Tim Allen noise
not choosing the vegan life
I derserve this I've been shellfish all my life
wondering how many Juggalos of the Smashed Crab are secret justices
wondering how many Justices of the Supreme Court are secret juggalos smashing crabs
wondering how many Justices of the Supreme Court are secret juggalos
smashing crabs
the crab in the Crabbing Game is a crab
kissing crabs
this kisses the crab
this kills the crab
this voids the warranty
drawing a picture of Princess Madeleine kneeling expectantly in a circle of Teletubbies while Steve Harwell services Noo Noo Violent J
I am an enthusiastic and hard working actress who specialises in musical theatre and Children's Theatre
drawing a picture of Princess Madeleine kneeling expectantly in a circle of Teletubbies while Steve Harwell services Noo Noo
Violent J
Watto's bizarre, striated, exogorthlike penis
the Toydarian penis, when fully uncoiled, has a length equal to roughly ten times body length
wondering who has more junk, Watto or Jar Jar
Khan Mistt, Mos Eisley junk dealer
Khan Mistt
Kirk Fogg
To not one of those Home Improvements does the land monopolist, as a land monopolist, contribute, and yet by every one of them the value of his land is enhanced, Tim Allen noise
To not one of those improvements does the land monopolist, as a land monopolist, contribute, and yet by every one of them the value of his land is enhanced
rough Beast wank
sssssssssS
soft Iceman jerk
minecraft jokes
sssssssss
heliocentric parent
falling into a pit of acid and dying
heliocopter parents
helicopter parents, but said in a sexy French accent
Farage claims dinosaurs killed off "by EU expansion"
helicopter penis
preteen rapist loch
helicopter parents
A dilly means it's a humdinger, it's special, not because it's close to something used by adults
Major shake up suggests dinosaurs may have 'UK origin'
WOODY STEAKS
taking advantage of liberalization of marijuana laws to launch your new pot infused range of marinades, The Steaks Are High
Woodiest Harreldad, gelfling
Woodiest Harreldad
Woodier Harrelson
being frankly kind of surprised that Han Solo is both still alive and still getting work
being frankly kind of surprised that Woody Harrelson is both still alive and still getting work
fuck marry kill, Princess Madeleine, Tinky Winky, Steve Harwell
something Princess Madeleine something something slathered in Tubby custard something eh oh!
seeing the headline "Woody Harrelson Just Dropped His Star Wars Character's Name" and being disappointed it wasn't Woody
Ten Boogers
Ten Goobers
eruvin
Green Boots
laughing as you hew a rough wooden dildo for Mary Chapin Carpenter
Franklin Delano Bluth
Suzanne Marie Sevakis
f FDR because I wanna try it with a paraplegic, m MLK because he would spend most of his time with white prostitutes anyway, k JFK, what else do I have to say
fmk, JFK, MLK, FDR
Ryanair passenger who 'grabbed flight attendant by the testicles' could lose his job
Doritos fan proposes to Doritos with Doritos roses, eh
Canucks fan proposes to boyfriend with Doritos roses, eh
a tshirt that says "I went to Venus and all I got was venereal disease"
getting Princess Madeleine drunk on sherry, then slathering in royal jelly, royal custard, and finally a thick and generous helping of your hand whipped rich cream
wondering how long you stay sucking after she has a breastgasm
wondering how long you stay streaming after being deliberately disabled
wondering how long you stay conscious after being depigmented
fauxnibalism
vegan man flesh
passing the Duchy of Cornwall on the left hand side
Police investigate smoke at London's 'Gherkin' building, not a security incident
professor xflesh
iceman flesh
maverick flesh
goose flesh
swan flesh
man flesh
drawing a picture of Zombie Kento dragging himself from his undoubtedly shallow grave howling "doooongs, doooongs" as he hungers for flesh
wondering how many sunflower seeds the urethra of Chris Lydon's bizzare, striated, earthwormlike penis can hold
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
wondering how long you stay conscious after being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
wondering how long you stay conscious after being depilated
wondering how long you stay fashion conscious after being decapitated
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated having a cardboard booty
Shortly afterwards the Welsh Assembly suspended its day's proceedings isn't it
wanting to make Kento a beatbox for his birthday
wondering how long you stay unconscious after being incapacitated
the Maestro's back with a beat box soundtrack
Star Wars except the Skywalkers are the Sandwalkers and Anakin doesn't like skies
I bought you drinks, I brought you flowers, I read you books and talked for hours
I can feel she return on the hoof
bottoming for Sand Diego in Bootini VII
DO NOT WANT
The kid called him Master Skywalker
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sand Diego
jacking it in Sand Diego University City High School
inserting three sunflower seeds into your urethra
rubbing one out in the bathroom at University City High School
alarming facial animations
San Diego high school student Matthew Burdette was purportedly kicked out of a class at University City High School for eating sunflower seeds and was subsequently secretly filmed masturbating in a bathroom stall
go eat a fly ugly
helllo you STINKY LIZARD
henlo lizer
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated
www cowboob hor
howbowbrowcow
cash me ousside howbow dah
also I genuinely haven't been paying attention and don't know anything about Naomi Scott, nor did I ever actually watch much Power Rangers
that's a trick question
fuck marry kill, Naomi Scott, Amy Jo Johnson, Kimberly Hart
drawing a picture of Naomi Scott and Amy Jo Johnson happily spit polishing a single large pink helmet with care
to where
drawing a picture of naked Naomi Scott and Amy Jo Johnson discussing who get to where which parts of the single Pink Power Ranger uniform they have
stopping Rita Repulsa from getting to the Krispy Kreme, if you know what I mean
Spiza americana
Rupicola peruvianus
having a crabby toad odor
the Power Rangers are protecting an item called the Spirit Crystal from the forces of Galvanax, the champion of the universe's most popular intergalactic game show, who wants the Crystal, which contains six magical Ninja Power Throwing Stars, to become in
banging a Tim Burton heroine far, far too early
banging a gong far, far too early
getting on far, far too early
getting off far, far too early
setting off far, far too early
switching a Nintendo Lick cartridge
licking a Nintendo Switch cartridge
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where my cock be at
Il Timpano from Big Night
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where Myke Hawke be at
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where my hip be at
there can be spiracles through which you breathe
you don't wanna see my hand where Myke Hawke be at
you don't wanna see my hand where my hip be at
carry on, carry on, as if bark bark arf bark grrrr
sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all, bow wow
mama, woof
I'm walkin' here, eh
crikey, cheerio
you know there's MykeHawkes there
the North American Technate
you know there's crocs there
Dracorex hogwartsia lived by the sea, and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hell Creek
Sesame Street's new Muppet who likes to take a dump on people's chests is part of the show's BIGGEST, FULLY FUNCTIONAL agenda
Sesame Street's new Muppet with autism is part of the show's bigger, empathic agenda
Little Children, Big Colons Incarceration Challenges
Dracorex hogwartsia
not realising that the best way to get a British bird to drop her knickers is to do bottomlessly stupid things, crikey
An Australian teenager who was bitten by a crocodile when he jumped into a river in northern Queensland on a dare is now recovering in hospital and looking forward to a date with the British backpacker he was trying to impress
Little Children, Big Challenges Colon Incarceration
Big Bird Joins Anti Vaccine Campaign
Sesame Street's New Muppet Has Autism
throbbing your ground with a standing erection
standing your ground with a throbbing erection
Man shoots himself in the penis and blames it on 'a black guy'
playing on Son Joe's boobs
laying Spoon Jeno's boobs
spooning Jay Leno's boobs
boobs are in this season
Jay Leno discusses boobs in his smut news, eh
Jay Leno discusses the mob in show business
Oxpeckers do eat ticks, but often the ticks have already fed on the ungulate host and no statistically significant link has been shown between oxpecker presence and reduced ectoparasite load
cruropatagia
Clothes made by a homosexual male So even when you say you are straight It is very hard to tell
the all uppity ollar
the all ighty ollar
'Down with the Sickness' by Disturbed is never a good karaoke choice
we all want that
Lost Boys Colon The Thirst
I want him to die is basically what I'm saying
wanting to give Kento a Brazilian butt lift for his birthday
My cousin works in a phone shop, I got these hoes from him, Apparently he seems from a distance on a sandwich so, but it's just a case for my iPhone
Another DICKGIRL dies from TUPI butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
#tostigate
Another DICKGIRL dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at Miami clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt lift at Miami clinic
Tho block mogpoo, Plotosmoros loocoptoros, os o troopoo, ot os noothor o mogpoo nor, os wos long boloovod, o joo
Onlo tho Lonolo
onnooong
annyeong
Anly
the opening shit of every episode is a dog's ass
the opening shot of every episode is a kid's donkey
watching old videos of PAPERY Morton in his Lanugo days
the opening shot of every episode is a dog's ass
watching old videos of Rocky Morton in his Lanugo days
only the turtledove was left, and it had been paying no attention, but singing "Left bank two"
only the turtledove was left, and it had been paying no attention, but singing "Take two"
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, Ray Parker jr
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, Ray Jay Johnson jr
black magpies matter
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, a jay
eating that full thing of licorice allsorts and going into hyperglycemic shock in bed
knowing that there is a full bag of licorice allsorts in your car and being super tempted to get out of bed, get them, and come back to bed and eat them for breakfast, because who needs low blood pressure or a pancreas
eating that whole thing of Despair Races and puking in bed
Despair Races
Rape Sidecars
Space Raiders
bunions
bunyips
lanugo
knowing that the bathroom was a mess and your friend had never been over before and so excusing yourself to go clean up with the line "I've just got to go and make sure all the cameras are on in there"
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the cameras in the bathroom trope
chucking berries at Chuck Berry
Chrostono Ono
Chock Borro
bottoming for Christine Anu in Anu's Party
tricking a Torres Straight Islander into dating another Torres Straight Islander
once joking with a friend about "the cameras in the bathroom" and never quite being sure that they understood or believed that you were joking
Berry was hit with a class action lawsuit from multiple women accusing Berry of making videotapes while they were "undressing and using bathrooms on his property"
If I'd known you'd be famous, I'd have preserved your appendix in alcohol
the death of that great new sound Marvin Berry discovered
the cry of Darth Chub, eek
the death of Buck Cherry
the death of Chuck Berry
Pokomon Googlo ond Bong
Blumpkin on Bicoid Dude's nipple
NIDOKING on Bicoid Dude's nipple
sucking on Bicoid Dude's nipple
drawing a picture of a squirming, bubbling pile of poop sucking on Bicoid Dude's nipple
Pokemon Poop and Gas
Damn Daniel International Airport
Bocood Bobo, Twi'lek stripper
Orlo
Orly
that the fifth Google result for "Bocood Bobo" is "Bocood Bobo's ossholo foontoon"
something something scanties
ELLIE JACKSON SOLO PROJECT says the man who was not identified, earlier shot a police officer at a traffic stop before stealing the woman's car at gunpoint
Le Roux says the man who was not identified, earlier shot a police officer at a traffic stop before stealing the woman's car at gunpoint
A man was electrocuted as he charged his mobile phone while in the bath spooning Jewel's rostral ventral region
Celebrities with Steve Buscemi eyes
A man was electrocuted as he charged his mobile phone while in the bath
spooning Jewel's rostral ventral region
et Ananus tu, Brutus
Jesus etin Ananus
wanting to make Kento a Grand Slamwich for his birthday, they're very popular
Jesus ben Ananus
ol bondodo gonoroso
eel bandido generoso
el bandido generoso
The Smell Feces
Tho Konks
eating all those jaffa cakes
e is a good vowel
sho's os swoot os Topolo Honoo
wishing a happy St Patrick's Day to Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
YOU MOM is a vowol
e is a vowel
mokos
Boston mokes mo fool good
Shonoo Twoon
Whotnoo Hooston
Bobbo Brown
Roo Porkor, jr
thos os tho bost thong oll ooor
this is the best thing all year
bongong o Tom Borton horoono
Psoodonom
docomont
rochol
Ogont Fofto Sovon
Bocood Bobo
Tobotho
generally if your boobs are completely on show the dress is back to front
dresses where you can't tell the front from the back
CPU song
A trip to the most beautiful gallery in London, Tate Modern, with the most beautiful movie star in Britain, Gillian Anderson
it's still better than having him sucking on your left one until you have a breastgasm
holding your infant nephew and having him stealthily vomit on your chest
Bol Bov Dovoo
pottong o ropo bonono on ooor oor
bononos
ooborgonos
ovocodoos
thos os fon
tho Ocodomo Owords
Kento Colon Skullfuck Ikedisla
stovoOVON
shootong Jockson C Fronk on tho ooo woth o pollot gon whon ooo woro o kod
Ollo Jockson
Dockgorl Rochol Stovons
Chrostono Ogooloro
Brotnoo Spoors
Pool McCortnoo ond Wongs
Herpes with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking
Hoodon Chrostonson, troodon, tro dot
Hippies with pony sex lives, who need to be hairless for blowing
banging her left one until she had a gothic musical number
farcefucking Kento
This is a new kind of partnership for both of us but I'm very excited to be teaming with Two Trees, and for all the projects being in this space will allow me to create
Hippies with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking
trockong o strooght goo onto dotong onothor strooght goo
Borock Obomo, Outer Rim Smuggler
Tho Coroos Cons of Bonjomon Bottocks
Gory Mothorfockong Ook
Osh Kotchom
Borock Obomo
oor old froond foor ond yoo ond mo
Ooohh!!! Rool Monstors
Power Rangers Dickwad Force
Former Power Rangers Star Amy Jo Johnson Pleads Guilty to Being Acanthophiform
Kimberley death adders
a skinny tee that looks like Krumm from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters but his eyeballs are where your boobs go
CHOMPOGNO used CHOMP! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE! DRONKONG fainted!
dronkong chompogno oot of o chomp onos
Bostonian rooting snakes
Mexican burrowing snakes
thot yoo'ro soddonlo voro ontorostod on tho orogon of tho chompogno oot of o shoo tropo
Clayfacefucking Kento
rocoploy
Clawface
Clayface
rapeclay
raceplay
prison japes
Give Ricardo Medina Jr a Sloppy, Drunken BJ While His Roommate Slowly Bleeds Out From a Gut Wound!
Asian pipe snakes, if you know what I mean
Asian pipe snakes
starting an argument with "your girlfriend can't park for shit and your career peaked playing the Red Lion Wild Force Ranger on Power Rangers Wild Force, dickwad"
Former Power Rangers Star Ricardo Medina Jr Pleads Guilty to Killing Roommate with Sword
Teen Finds Seven Point Four Four Carat Diamond in Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park
burning it's a me, MARIO board
burning a Luigi board
Jodo Knwght, Jedi Knight
Apes I see, including chimpan A to chimpanzee, have finally made a monkey, yes they've finally made a monkey, yes they've finally made a monkey out of me
F#R#O#O#N#D#S, O'll chon yo
fwcwfwckwng Kwntw, lwwk yww nww
replacing all vowels with w
Focofockong Konto, Jodo Knoght
focofockong Konto
replacing all vowels with o
Twitter accounts, including Amnesty International, Unicef USA and BBC North America, have been hacked by attackers claiming to back Turkey's government, sieg heil, cheerio, I'm walkin' here, eh, gobble gobble
The male has a clear whistle, whereas the female has a feeble quack
Gummie Garry Gary Beers Bears
Garry Gary Beers
a major indicator of INXS skeletons, crikey
a major indicator of INXS skeletons, cheerio
SONNYio
cherio
a major indicator of sex with skeletons, cherio
a major indicator of sex in skeletons
oh, hello, you're looking at my boobies
#NotTheBees
lending your cheerios to a dishonest beekeeper
#BringBacktheBees
these children that you piss on
these children that you spit on
Jim Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting
Jim Crocodile Rock
Jim Crocodile Cook
David FEMALE DEERS
latrine dot nu
urinal dot net
what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry
Streisand v Adelman et al
David DOES
procuring a child for pornography
No man can hide from his fears, as they are a part of him, they will always know where he is hiding
Powder, it darn near killed 'er!
lying about the symmetry of your breasts
a film about three boys terrorized by circus clowns lying about the size of your income
a film about three boys terrorized by circus clowns
lying about the size of your income
Fred Rogers began his television career as a result of his being convicted of child molestation, one condition of his sentence was that he fulfill a community service obligation by performing a television show for children on a local public station
I am hardly a suing person, and yet that just got my goat
David TRIPLE DOUBLE DEES
David DOUBLE DEES
David Dees
GRAND ADMIRAL, EIGHT others charged with corruption in new 'ASIAN SHELDON' indictment
Admiral, seven others charged with corruption in new 'Fat Leonard' indictment
President Dwight Eisenhower expressing astonishment and alarm on discovering that fully half of all Americans have below average intelligence
Gandalf the Grey, being probed by Galadriel, is caught on video pulling down Weathertop
being an amazon
playing the drag race card
Planned Bearentwood
having asymmetrical hands
having asymmetrical breasts
being on the Wikipedia Arbitration Committee but not being granted Admin privileges
it's not a Wikipedia article the Jedi would edit
reading the wikipedia article about the hierarchy of Star Wars canon, holy shit who the fuck cares that much
fuck marry kill, liberte, illegalite, fraternite
listen, nine months from now that's going to be high comedy
bottoming for Chris Rear in Piledrivin' Homos for Chris' Mass VII
liberte, illegalite, fraternite
drawing a picture of da bears doin deed, da bears
they do indeed
Cutting Planned Bearenthood Funding Would Lead to More Bears, Bears Growl
Cutting US Forest Service Funding Would Lead to Less Bear Shitting, Report Says
Cutting Planned Parenthood Funding Would Lead to More Unplanned Births, Report Says
Guzzlord
The Minority Report except the precogs are the Kaiser Chiefs and all they ever predict is riots
Ezekiel Elliott, being probed by NFL, is caught on video pulling down woman's top
ironically, the GTO tariff reform bill was repeatedly pushed out of the debating schedule, first by the Separatist Crisis, and then by war business
that T Canon story which explained that the Trade Federation had severe supply side problems and couldn't in fact get any product they desired because of the GTO tariff system
playing a thief in Dungeons & Dragons with Jewel
Brett, Alex, and Pattie enter a cross country race as cover while escorting a girl named Paula to court so that she can testify against a jewel thief called "The Dragon"
Teen to Rub
Turbo Teen
Cars that turn into robots, etcetera
Microwaves that turn into cameras, etcetera
It is illegal to take explicit photographs of the Eiffel Tower at night without permission
It is illegal to take photographs of the Eiffel Tower at night without explicit permission
making it with a Yeoman Warder Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary in Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London
making it with a Secret Service dope in a suit
makes the Secret Service look like dopes in suits
The Yeomen Warders of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary
it's set in radios, eh
it's set in Rhodesia
'Babe Orgy Night' Prequel 'Holy Dungeons' Picked Up Straight to Series at CBS
it's set in Zimbabwe
'Big Bang Theory' Prequel 'Young Sheldon' Picked Up Straight to Series at CBS
heroes never give in to the night
HARVARD tokens
Yale tokens
jail tokens
Latin jokes
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Via Call Wang
surfacing
lifting me in a vulva pee, woof
lifting me up in a wave of love
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Galvanic Awl
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Vaginal Claw
AND IF
or not
making it with a nice Jewish girl in a GTA Spano
making it with a clubfooted girl in a Yugo
making it with a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
Dorothy L Sayers' Civilisation
divorcing HARVARD
divorcing Yale
making it with a Yale divorced podcaster in your rear
making it with a hale divorced girl in the rear
personally I'd love that
We can't restore our civilization with somebody else's puppies
We can't restore Sid Meier's Civilization without a valid product key
We can't restore our civilization with somebody else's babies
I know we cannot stay
learning that the guy who lumbered around in the Darth Vader costume in Swan Rear Colon a Goose Rut Story got nominated for Best Villain at the Twenty Seventeen Kids Choice Awards but lost to a black guy voicing a character named Snowball
Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman Recreate Space Jam
maybe together we can get somewhere
RIP Arse Kin too
Kim Jong un's long lost half brother, Arse Kin too
e v e r y d a y
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Arse Kin Too
well, I've fucked that up royally, haven't I
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Kento Kin Too
buying an iPod Nano in Minneapolis
sucking sufferotash
bottoming for Zach Braff in Fuckboy VII
A person who is a weak ass pussy that ain't bout shit
a scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly who is also known as a fuccboi
Wittgenstein's monster
suggesting something more like Wittgensteinian family resemblance
suffering succotash
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Kia Sorento
friending your daughter's fuckboy
but apparently you hate that
totally being fine with being racist against chalk miners
finding it hilarious that there even are chalk miners left in the US in this century, but kind of not being surprised someone who would take a chalk mining job would marry Mama June
"I've always seen myself as being a smaller person," she adds
that of all the possible things for the next Truther movment to be built around, you would have picked "Honey Boo Boo's mom isn't really fat" last
Mama June Shannon is setting the record straight about rumors that she wore a fat suit before her show Mama June Colon From Not to Hot premiered earlier this year
regrets about your daughter's boyfriend blowing
tricking a straight guy into dating your daughter's boyfriend
sex humping your daughter's boyfriend
kind of loving your daughter's boyfriend, that magnificent bastard
circumcising your daughter's boyfriend
fucking your daughter's boyfriend
marrying your daughter's boyfriend
killing your daughter's boyfriend
thrilling your daughter's boyfriend
holding your daughter's boyfriend
kissing your daughter's boyfriend
eating your daughter's boyfriend
being your daughter's boyfriend
meeting your daughter's boyfriend
SEX HUMP files for bankruptcy
Gender Mountain files for bankruptcy
Gander Mountain files for bankruptcy
Two people critically ill after drinking tactile borax, eh
Two people critically ill after drinking toxic herbal tea, barely touching each other
Two people critically ill after drinking toxic herbal tea
cutting off your wife to spite your penis
cutting off your penis to spite your wife
cutting off your nose to spite your face
Woman chops off husband's penis after he 'refuses to have sex with her'
What you need is a good diet, you're pissing the money down the toilet for no benefit
getting a ride home in Rob Lowe's sweet chariot
Twin Riker Rods #One
Twin Ron Rods #Two
The health watchdog is investigating claims staff at a care firm have been selling sex chats while topless from their office
Pokemon Public Shaming and Sadistic Voyeurism
drawing a picture of Nancy Reagan being Eiffel Towered by Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett while Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ronnie Wood wait their turn and Ronald Reagan watches from a tree and masturbates
killing the Canada geese
or else it gets the hose again
It has debated whether to install an audio box that plays the sound of a strangled goose for three minutes every hour
VANILLA ICE Ice VII
Ice VII
Twin Long Ronnies #Two
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ronnie O'Sullivan in The Two Ronnies O'Sullivan
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan in Two Fisted Snookering VII
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Turgid Knobs, Wicked Pissah VII
Horny Walrus Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Boding Turks Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Turgid Knobs Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
something something Donald Trump something Baron Greenback something fresh scandal
Drunk Bigots Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Gay Veterans Group Now Allowed to March in Boston St Patrick's Day Parade, faith and buggerin'
too much lying and too much Russia and too much smoke
Ms Monroe sued the writer over two war memorial tweets she said caused "serious harm" to her reputation
watching youtube videos of incredibly drunk people and at first thinking it was one of those FAIL LOL things but it turned out to be a depressing combination of public shaming and sadistic voyeurism
Pikemen
I wanna be the best, wakka wakka wakka wakka
winning the South African Pikimin Championship by eating all four ghosts
PIKIMIN
Pikemin
Pikemon Gross and Pitts
A Rating Anal Sodomy
he was the centerfold every day for three years
he already has a lifetime subscription
first they were walking like Egyptians and now they're pirates wanting to get Kento a subscription to Anal Organism Today for his birthday
first they were walking like Egyptians and now they're pirates
wanting to get Kento a subscription to Anal Organism Today for his birthday
Chewidden Thursday
Anal Organism Today
Liar Liar except Jim Carrey is on fire the whole time
Movable December observances
The idea was for participants throughout the world to have an orgasm during this one day while thinking about peace
A Judge Who Asked Alleged Rape Victim Why She Hadn't Kept Her Knees Together Has Resigned
Informercials
Jonah Hill reading the Journal of the Whills
Bi Goat Kid Informercial
Big Hot Kid Infomercial
Medium Reddish Dog Infomercial
Big Red Dog Infomercial
Big Hot Dog Infomercial
before there would be blood everywhere
I didn't give it to the kids
it's like a sparrow's beak
QVC Caller on a Can Opener
Broadcaster criticized for drama title comparing local food to penis
he hurried into the bathroom where he tossed the battery in water, because that's what all the smart people do with lithium
Florida lawyer's pants catch fire during arson trial
banging a Tim Hortons heroine, eh
bog wood from the Krapina river
bog wood
a piece of that tip just got me
tiddy bear
a food in Japanese cuisine made from various marine animals that consists of small pieces of meat in a brown viscous paste of the animal's heavily salted, fermented viscera
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom except Short Round is replaced by Brent Spiner
SEMEN plus SEMEN is CLINTON
blood plus blood is gore
Varney the Vampire
manbee dot com
despite all my rage I am still killing Nicolas Cage
that killing Nicolas Cage won't bring back your goddamn honey
Every episode and movie of Star Trek Colon The Next Generation except Data is replaced by Data from The Goonies
bottoming for Josh Holin in Gang in You
bottoming for Josh Holin in The Bod Squad
bottoming for Josh Holin in Slow Bum
bottoming for Josh Holin in Cream
bottoming for Josh Holin in W Penetration
bottoming for Josh Holin in Jonah Sex
bottoming for Josh Holin in Gangrape Squad
bottoming for Josh Holin in Milt
bottoming for Josh Holin in The Do Me's
bottoming for Josh Holin in Three Black Men In
wondering what kind of movies Josh Holin makes, then thinkin' oh yeah
Bee Movie Trailer but everytime someone says bee Nicholas Cage screams something from Wickerman
swanbeefcurtains dot com
swanbeef dot com
To bridge the gap between 'talented writer', which you now are, and 'professional writer', which is yet to come, you need professional help
Pokemon Spongy and Luminescent
manbeef dot com
fuck marry kill, FDR, JFK, LBJ
Pokemon Knifings and Kneeings
Jennifer Love Hewitt's Breasts Disappear Before Our Eyes
Amid knifings and kneeings, kidnaping and murder, the meaty blonde Miss Blandish spent most of two hours in panties and bra
a fried chicken wing that really was found in a box of McDonald's Mighty Heads
a fried chicken head that really was found in a box of McDonald's Mighty Wings
destroying a picture of JFK blowing Fatworld Dickgirl Marilyn Monroe and taking steps to ensure he can never threaten America's security again
regrets about JFK blowing
wondering whether it's worth holding out for Billy Joel's acronym laden sequel to We Didn't Start The Fire in which he obsessively catalogs the high profile news of the last few decades or whether you're just out of touch and someone else does that now
rubbing one out in the compsognathus at work
finding Ross Geller having dinosaur sex in the cupboard at work
having dinosaur sex with Ross Geller in the cupboard at work
transpondsers
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off a compsognathus at work
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off in a compsognathus at work
wah pedals
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off in a cupboard at work
Pokemon Faith and Begorrah
the one where the girl at the copy place gets Eiffel Towered by Joey and Chandler
sneaking off to inconstantly bang Joey, forsooth
sneaking off to constantly bang Joey
I, Zach Assymoth
Sulimov dogs
these guys are from England and who gives a shit, faith and begorrah
these guys are from England and who gives a shit
goddamned up tempo records
constantly sneaking off to bang Banjo Kazooie
constantly sneaking off to Banjo Kazooie
Improsoned Inferno
constantly sneaking off to bang Joey
that if you fuck Kento the only option is to kill yourself
just thinking Rachel would get annoying after a while, what with constantly sneaking off to bang Joey
fuck Rachel, kill Emily, marry the girl at the copy place
fuck Kento, marry you, kill me
fuck marry kill, Rachel, Emily, the girl at the copy place
fuck marry kill, you, me, Kento
marry the police except for Sting, kill the mob, fuck them with kindness
fuck marry kill, the police, the mob, them with kindness
fuck marry kill, Jewel with poisonous breasts that lactate acid when she gets excited, Emma Watson but naked she's like a Barbie with no genitalia and weird articulation points, young Julie Newmar but you're a child and she's a pedophile who abuses you
fuck marry kill, fatworld Ellie Jackson, dickgirl Rachel Stevens, hirsute Emma Watson
Mr Oral Brick, heir to the Oral B fortune
fucking Mr Oral Brick because of the pig thing but being three inches in and thinking he's much less clever than he thinks he is
wondering if Gene Hunt is actually one of Kim Jong il's many magnificent bastard children
having impure thoughts about knockin' Stranger Things
Lord Strange de Knockin Things, I just met 'er
Lord Strange de Knockin
The Lord of the Rings but Frodo is a Freddo
realising that Juche has taken a hold of you and you have come to see Kim Jong il and Kim Jong un as the same Glorious Leader
you Eiffel bastard children of the revolution
wondering if Kento is actually one of Kim Jong il's many bastard children
I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot!
Opodeldoc
Bengay
Adam and Steve at Maid Marian's maid marryin'
Kento Ikeda's Intercourse with the Vampire
Kento was worried that there might be vampires in his colon because he'd wake up in the morning with blood around the outside, and also at dusk a swarm of bats would fly out looking for victims
it's oil of wintergreen
drawing a picture of Emma Watson rubbing oil on Myke Hawke
I'll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to Myke Hawke
After guest stints and roles in short lived television series, he won a co starring role in the action slash crime drama series Sex With A Teen in nineteenseventyfive
Bloodworth Thomason had planned for the show to be " a very sophisticated, grown up comedy, "and would "do for men what the women did for Designing Women"
BABE, I'VE GOT YOU BABE
Cher stated that TENEBROUS'S NAME MAY HAVE BEEN DERIVED FROM THE WORD "TENEBROUS," A WORD MEANING DARK, GLOOMY, OR OBSCURE
Vampire Colon The Gatorade
Darth Vampire Colon The Masquerade
Chee stated that Tenebrous's name may have been derived from the word "tenebrous," a word meaning dark, gloomy, or obscure
Darth Viagra
Darth Pubis
that most of the naked pictures of Emma Watson seem show very little pubic hair
the Viagra commercial but all the sound is replaced with the music of The Cure and it causes erectile dysfunction
The secret Jedi don't want you to know!
googling fur oil and coming to believe that Emma Watson must be covered head to toe in pubes
wondering if Darth Plagueis also discovered the cure for erectile dysfunction
I'll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to my pubic hair
wondering if Emperor Palpatine's power grows more unlimited when he gets turned on
wondering if Anakin Skywalker's hatred of sand grows larger when he gets turned on
Burt's Bees products but when you open them they spurt bees
Yarael Poof, Jedi Master
wondering if Padme Amidala's hair grows larger when she gets turned on
Yarael Poof
wondering if Ki Adi Mundi's head grows longer when he gets turned on
I agree but where are we going to find an animal with a large enough jaw
wanting to make Kento an amuse bouche for his birthday
The Bee Movie trailer but every time Cher tweets the volume increases lOO%
she also replaces the word "be" with a bee emote
she's pretty well positioned to know when a politician is dangerous
Cher's twitter is fucking amazing
U CAN FOOL ALL THE PPL SOME OF THE TIME,& SOME OF THE PPL ALL THE TIME,BUT YOU CANNOT FOOL ALL THE PPL ALL THE TIME
Meowth that's right!
Ladies also engage in anal sex with Cool James
eating that whole thing of vegan pad thai amidala and puking in bed
Even Piell
Plo Koon
Ke Nto Ikeda
Anthony Weiner Schnitzel
The Arduous Journey of I'keda on the Road to Eiffel Towering
The Arduous Journey of T'lana on the Road to Enlightenment
look in the tunk
wondering what happened to my burlap oil
wondering what happened to your lip balm
wondering if there will ever be a remake of The PAPER starring The PAPER
wondering if there will ever be a remake of The Rock starring The Rock
fuck marry kill, a Vulcan, a Klingon, a Romulan
Katherine Pulaski Day
Ki Adi Mundi
Casimir Pulaski Day
Ladies also engage in anal sex with men
Ba'el
Chalchaj'qmey
Your tits are so juicy, dude!
page sixteen
there ain't no rule says a dog can't play basketball
Crocodile penis eats fish
the Crocodile violently emerges from Kozlowski's grundies when she attempts to have sex with a fellow Dundee
Photos of naked mole rats reportedly shared on social media
Photos of naked leprechauns emerging from Marines reportedly shared on social media
Photos of naked female Marines reportedly shared on social media
wondering whether the abdominal pain you've been experiencing is a sign of Kentometriosis
Solomon Grundies, I hate Mondays
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP smeared on her clothing stealing Linda Kozlowski's grundies from the communal laundry room
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP smeared on her clothing
stealing Linda Kozlowski's grundies from the communal laundry room
"Chuzwozzer" Dundee
seriously starting to wonder whether Linda Kozlowski actually owned any underwear circa nineteenninety
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP written on her clothing
"Grundodoc" Crimea
''Crocodile'' Grundie
"Crocodile" Dundee II Colon Me Shiela's Gonna Walkabout In Her Grundies A Bit More I Reckon Fellas
"Crocodun" Diledee
#gaygabeD
#gdaygabe
A special message from Crocodile Dundee to Starlight Child Gabe Borealsuchus Twatt, I hardly know 'em!
A special message from Crocodile Dundee to Starlight Child Gabe
Borealsuchus Twatt, I hardly know 'em!
"BOREALOSUCHUS" TWATT
"GHARIAL" ABERDEEN
he's probably marching right now for the gay nazis or something
"Deluded" Coercion
"Crocodile" Dundee
nut butter makes me feel good
But here's a little secret that nut butter manufacturers don't want you to know colon In as little as fifteen minutes, you can turn a few handfuls of nuts into creamy, smooth, stick to the roof of your mouth goodness in your own kitchen
If you're a nut butter loving cyclist, you've probably heard of Justin's
I'm always on the hunt for interesting nut butters
Carolina teenager launches nut butter business
Soy nut butter recalled as six people are hospitalized with E coli
BREAKING NEWS! I just taught myself to play "All Star" on the euphonium!
by "in a way" not meaning "furiously masturbating" but "I have a soft spot for any movie that uses the music of Billy Swann to humorous effect"
actually kind of enjoying Thor in a way that you can't say held true for most of the other Marvel movies
well I can't see how it happened, those two were always so careful, they never took any chances
the charges against them were dismissed
I had the impression that those two were sort of under a cloud
the empirical evidence does not appear to agree with your assertion
I mean, Thor was a shitty movie but it wasn't the actor's fault
being shocked to learn in the end credits of Independence Day Colon Resurgence that Generic White Protagonist was played by a Hemworth because he was just so fucking boring and forgettable
being real suspicious of the Swiss cheese at the Franco residence
drawing a picture of Dave Franco balls deep in a wedge of brie
that Dave Franco is banging Alison Brie even though he is clearly the worst of the Francos and that's a low bar
pitching a The Last of Us style dystopian adventure in which Kento reproduces asexually with a cloud of spores
hearing from some Spanish guy that one of them has a potato for a penis
never remembering which Franco brother is which
excellent
I'm horny, horny horny horny
I'm happy, happy happy happy
banging a Tim Burton heroine in the bathroom in California
Sheik Tugboat, if you know what I mean
Sheik Tugboat
kind of love spoon blow, a magnificent bastard, boobs, a pony
pleasure torture kill, a machine, a pony, a shoe
drawing a picture of Kento marrying Chris Lydon, getting fucked by a walrus, then killing himself, in that order
finding Chris Lydon having walrus sex with Kento in your autofill cache
finding Chris Brown having dinosaur sex with agent fifty seven in your autofill cache
your phone being so old it tries to auto fill Brown after Chris
typoing 'happy' for 'horny'
that probably sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive but I mean it
there, normalised disturbing service has been restored, I hope you're happy
fuck marry kill, Santa Claus, a reindeer, a lost child on Christmas Eve
fuck marry kill, a walrus, Chris Lydon, Kento
YOU MOM is a Kento joke
that's a Kento joke
wondering whether a soldier who bleeds for Armenia is Armenstruating
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an Armenian Citizen to Insult Turkishness
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an Armenian Citizen to Fight Donald Trump
furry calk milk, Jenny , Sleigh Hero, Lewd Cunt
furry calk milk, Jewel, Chris Lydon, Gene Hunt
Gayball
Greyball
playing Furry, Calk, Milk with OJ Simpson
playing Fuck, Marry, Kill with OJ Simpson
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become a Mini Firth Cetecean to Zing Donald Trump
drawing a picture of Donald Trump peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Mike Pence takes a dump on his chest and Patrick Stewart screams "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"
drawing a picture of Donald Trump peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Mike Pence takes a dump on his chest
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Recreationally Shit on Donald Trump
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Fight Donald Trump Because Things Seem to be Going Pretty Well Over There at the Moment
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Fight Donald Trump
Idiospermum australiense
attempting to order actual gits from Github
attempting to order actual Russian spies with adamantium claws from GRUbub
attempting to order actual grubs from Grubhub
fuck marry kill, Earthlink, a pony, the California girls
Burton's legless lizard
fuck marry kill, Tim Burton, Richard Burton, LeVar Burton
fuck marry kill, Winona Ryder, Ariel Winter, Jewel
fuck marry kill, Garfield, Bob Geldof, the Bangles
chasing salmon with Salmon Chase
fuck marry kill, James A Garfield, Andrew Garfield, Garfield
INFERRING ARTHUR'S GOOSE
assuming Garfield's gander
assuming Garfield's gender
Game of Bel Air
Men in Black Mirror
Stranger Men in Black
Wild Wild Westworld
Casey Anthony was "more than likely" the person who used too much chloroform that killed her two year old daughter
snaking the drain, if you know what I mean
snaking the drain on a plane
snaking the drain
that dude's been selling Tony under a corset
that dude's been selling candy on our street
link plz
The Empire Strikes Back but when Han says "never tell me the odds" every episode of Even Stevens and the Even Stevens Movie plays in order and every time they say "even" it speeds up and when they say "Stevens" it cuts to pictures of dickgirls
never tell me the QUEERS
never tell me the odds
be honest, what were the odds that you were ever going to know the passions of the flesh again anyway
Bee Movie trailer but everytime they say "bee" your heart hardens just a little bit more until you're a cold, dour creature that no longer knows the passions of the flesh or the flights of fancy
Bee Movie trailer but everytime they say "bee" the Cory In the House opening plays
a fictional country containing cultural elements of India, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan and very similar to Bolivia
Newt's first act as student president is to institute a "Chill Zone" where students can hang out
Batman's mouth suddenly wrenches open and his eyes dilate, going in opposite directions, which lasts a good second or two
temporarily believing Larry Craig was that fat comedian who died like last year, but then remembering that was Larry Sanders
misleading the Senate, that's a paddlin'
Misleading the Senate in sworn testimony about TWO own contacts with the Russians is a good way to go to jail
Misleading the Senate in sworn testimony about one own contacts with the Russians is a good way to go to jail
allison walks on sunshine
Open Faced Chicken Gordon Ramsey
it's basically open faced chicken cordon bleu
it's actually pretty good
having to look up Malibu chicken and concluding that it is meant to be eaten when you have drunk a lot of rum, hence the name
actually that's not fair, because I doubt that Trump University would ever teach the skills necessary to make sure you don't run out of the inventory for Malibu chicken
the Forbco Management School of Trump University
Forbco Management School
he said he'd come into you
he said he'd come to you
well, I'm down for it but you have to pay for half of my travel fare
that's a direct quote, that's what he wanted
Anal sex between two men in the missionary position
wondering how much it would cost to comission Seedfeeder to draw a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
An artist's impression of a woman drinking semen
Illustration of an oral cum shot, in which a man ejaculates onto a woman's tongue
to be fair, although she looks like she could drown, she does turn that frown upside down
Seedfeeder used this illustration to announce his retirement from Wikipedia
A depiction of a facial featuring a black man ejaculating onto a white woman prompted criticism, with some users claiming that the image was racist and promoted violence against women
Seedfeeder is a pseudonymous illustrator known for contributing sexually explicit drawings to Wikipedia
Darluniad o ferch yn perfformio anilingus ar ferch arall
'n vrou doen Anilingus by 'n ander vrou
Paglalarawan ng isang babae na dumidila sa butas ng puwit ng isa pang babae
una donna pratica l'anilingus ad un'altra
Eine Frau leckt den Anus einer anderen Frau
Depiction of a woman performing anilingus on another woman
once you Go Ikeda, you Kento Ikeda
The Black Whores of DC
The Back Doors of DC
The Rear Windows of DC
The Real Widows of DC
Beau Biden's Widow Hallie Biden Is Now Dating His Brother Hunter
The GD
The Real Housewives of Grapefruit Duchy
POMELO EMPIRE DEMIMONDAINE
GRAPEFRUIT DUCHY ESCORT
Orange County Whore
going crabbing in a bucket of smashed crabs
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in King of the Underwear
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Beat Off the Devil
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Daisy Chain Lightning
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Butthole Circus
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Key Party Largeo
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in To Shave and Shave Not
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Three on a Man
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in The Fat Asian Queen
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Assablanca
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in The Mantease Foreskin
Pokemon Dicks and Privates
Brock Thursday, Private Dick
Brock Thursday
Ash Wednesday
going round the twist
hockey player Tony Twist sued Todd McFarlane because he named a mobster character in Spawn after Twist
something something the Astor Place Riot something something Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway
a dispute between Edwin Forrest, one of the best known American actors of that time, and William Charles Macready, a similarly notable English actor, which largely revolved around which of them was better than the other at acting
fuck marry kill, the father, the son, the holy ghost
wankin' on the HOLY GHOST
wankin' on the FATHER
wankin' on the son
lookin' GAY at the sun
walkin' on the sun
coming to the conclusion that Aerosmith are the American Chas & Dave
jaunty rock ballads about the sexual abuse of a minor and a corresponding murder of the perpetrator
lookin' straight at the sun
bragging about CRUSHING CRIME
GOLDSHARKS
silverfish
he seized power in a bloodless coup, all smotherings
fuck marry kill, Mahatma Gandhi, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi
Gandharva sexual intercourse
Gandharva homicide
Gandharva marriage
looking for hosed anal, big big hosed anal
Amid the ensuing cacophony a group can be heard singing colon "He's got big hosed anal, eh
Amid the ensuing cacophony a group can be heard singing colon "He's got bagel on his head"
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, oy vey
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, cheerio
fea leads to ange, ange leads to hae
ange
shipping your pants with the trade federation
get to your ships
hate leads to suffering
ange leads to hate
fear leads to ange
fear is the path to the dark side
will I ever see you again
noooooooooooooo
wipe them out, all of them
I will sign no treaty, senator
this is a battle I do not think that we can win
I can only protect you, I can't fight a war for you
fear is my ally
ANAKIN!
our people are dying, senator, we must do something quickly
the innocent
you must contact me
the weak
the federation has gone too far
the strong
fear, fear attracts the fearful
he was meant to help you
the Force is unusually strong with him
he can help you
trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know
are you sure about this
he can see things before they happen
you believe it's this boy
you refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force
there is something else behind all this your highness, they will kill you if you stay
I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war
a communications disruption can mean only one thing, invasion
at last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, at last we will have revenge
the death of Jan Chapman
LALALAND used BAFFLE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Pokemon Warren Beatty
topping for Martika in Huge Preteen Crush VII
having impure thoughts about a preteen Martika
Warren Beatty standing center stage surrounded by milling crowds visibly dying for lack of direction his world suddenly inverted and his certainties all fled
He was just a small town stencil and she was a big city sharpie, but this summer you won't believe how easily they produce a precise replica in THE PIXAR MOVIE, starring JACK BLACK and DAKOTA JOHNSON with KEVIN JAMES, SAMUEL L JACKSON and MELISSA McCARTHY
completely forgetting Martika existed and that you had a huge preteen crush on her
guessing that at least half of the Bikini Cavegirl Dancers went on to have careers as XFL cheerleaders
falling down like a domino
painstakingly crafting a scene in which CGI and practical puppetry are combined to flawlessly recreate Laura Dern being informed by a keeper that the Triceratops has blue balls and needs a little hand while Sam Neill backs quietly into the bushes to watch
wondering what it's like to have "Bikini Cavegirl Dancer in a Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis music video" as the most prominent role on your CV
I think he'll get by
not being able to watch the official video of Wank the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Steven Spielberg
Jimmy Kallol
Jimmy Fimmen
not being able to watch the official video of Dinosaur Sex in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, agenty fiftyseven
finding out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are separatin' titties
not being able to watch the official video of Walk the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis
Black Pepper's Ghost
finding out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are separate entities
biting into what you thought was a toasted sesame seed but it was actually just a huge piece of black pepper
he's still a virgin in respect to females
signed, Christopher Lydon
he wishes
extra virgin Kento Ikeda
extra virgin Olive Oyl
extra virgin olive oil
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to piledrive no D wrecked colon for the rest of the day
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to drive no D wrecked colon for the rest of the day
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to drive no wrecked race car for the rest of the day
Dale Earnhardt Jr after Daytona D wreck colon 'I feel good'
calling in sick instead of doing TPS reports
glove in you is medical malpractice, making no fault damages payments is all I wanna do
when a girl changes from "I like big butts and I cannot lie" to "let's move in together" then she's old enough to abseil into the House of Lords
when a girl changes from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face" then she's old enough to give her heart away
Boba Fetish
ripping Myke Hawke off
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give Myke Hawke away
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give a warty hare, eh
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's too old to give her heart away, signed, Roman Polanski
for money
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give her heart away
bobby socks
bottoming for David Bummy in Underwear Pressure VII
photoshopping all those images of David Bowie with a huge arse for that David Bummy tumblr you never made
Santa Claus is comin' to
he knows that it's me they've been comin' to
life is a crab beret
SHARING A DRINK THEY CALL LONELINESS during the day
looking out for glasses, big big glasses
big lass savings
big lasses
big glasses
wondering at what point in time the word "fetish" morphed from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face"
if NOT urinating
if urinating
infuriating
racecheck helps athletes explore race locations, and organisers to list, manage and promote events in a unique way
briefly being angry that race checker dot com existed before your brain kicked in
wondering if there is a fetish among walruses where they get off watching their fat gay Asian partners have sex with blue whales
Actual Cuckolds Offended That Term Is Now A Right Wing Insult
another ruined friendship
joke
uhh
you don't know me
if you think that is less impressive you've obviously never raped an edgy cunt
that's somewhat less impressive
all of human history was simply the prelude to this moment
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'on edgy cunt rape'
that's literally the best thing anybody has ever done
oh my god i give up you win
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'on a prude cygnet'
drinking dairy free Plenish nutmilk alone during the day
that's an anagram and you can check it if you don't believe me
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'due to being totes fine yo'
Plenish Cleanse
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'due to pregnancy'
referring to Coppelia as a tick tock dick dock
Dairy Free Nutmilk
giggling like a schoolgirl at Plenish milk
trippin' your nut sack into a frenzy of shit play
drinking alone in Margaritaville
drinking alone in drag duty, eh
Pokemon Dikshit and Rami
sharing a nickname with H out of Steps
According to Dikshit and Rami, the estimation for the aniquity of Bhirrana is based on two calculations of charcoal samples
SEVEN of NINE hidden gold objects found in Scunthorpe
Star Wars Colon Scunthorpe
Four of five hidden gold objects found in Scunthorpe
sitting up awkwardly in bed and either sliding back down or holding your neck at a bad angle
reading the HYSTERICAL COWBOY story on IXGAG
not being sure that you've ever seen Hot Dog Ellipsis The Movie but feeling certain that it's the kind of crap you would have watched
Clem Pinchfacts
Camp Fistclench
being pretty sure Miley Cyrus never went to college
I'm guessing it didn't really happen
reading the Jolly Rancher story on Reddit
no, you've got it wrong, Dromedary Cops is the Tank for Nothing spinoff
that Smaug bitch
genuinely thinking Battlecreek had somehow morphed into Battle Creek, a dromedary about cops or whatever
Arn Colon The Knight Templar
that smug bitch
drawing a picture of Eleanor patting herself on the back
drawing a picture of Bill Skarsgard eating out Hayden Christensen for role of Henry
For II Years Hayden Christensen was attached to play the lead character of Henry, but role eventually went to Bill Skarsgard
that Battlecreek was actually released, holy shit, but there was no sign of Hayden Christensen
Former Oregon soldier colon From US Army to French Foreign Legion to prison
Mapping the Most Massive Overdensities Through Hydrogen
the author of several books dealing with specifics of Soviet espionage via the KGB and other agencies
Experts across the travel industry are warning that masses of trannies are being scared away from visiting the United States, and the loss of lick jobs could be devastating
Experts across the travel industry are warning that masses of tourists are being scared away from visiting the United States, and the loss of tourism jobs could be devastating
the name's Tank Engine, Thomas the Tank Engine, double O gauge, licensed to carry goods and passengers
ordained preteen boners
throwing your ass in the air and waving like you just don't care
having your face against the pillow
having your face against the wall
ghost riding can be dangerous and has resulted in between two and eight deaths in North America
ordained boners
the new episodes of Anal Gas Cat
that people use the phrase "back against the wall" to refer to a position with no easy way out, and admittedly it would best to be nowhere near the wall, but having your back against the wall is a lot better than having your face against the wall
ghost riding the whip
More than half of lesbians admit to abseiling into the House of Lords McGoldenshower
PREORDAINED boners
Holly Madison sues male enhancement pill manufacturer
the new episodes of Lasagna Cat
exorcising Ron's bra demon from the communal laundry room
Ron's bra demon
bottoming for Ron Bonerman in Fuck Marry Kill Slowed Down VII