Do you regret
listening to the Panty and Stocking with Gartbelt soundtrack most of today?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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a world of regret

a six year old sheep that has never been shorn
I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three Picture Deal at Disney
Ernie Goochie Goochie Goo
I like a black ball of array that had caught ghost
Suicidal Station Spirit Startles Straphangers
truanting band suppository roofies
Suppository audition for Bryan Singer
Suppost to audition for Bryan Singer
that one's covered by "not suppost to cry"
Hafta shower with Jerry Sandusky
Walrus goes bananas and ejaculates at tourists trying to film him in Berlin Zoo
Grow hair everywhere
Having a automatic bad reputation
Boys smell bad
Suppost to play football
Suppost to like vilence
Suppost to do all the work
Not allowed to be a cheerleader
Not suppost to cry
Not being able to be a mother
Lily Allen turned down Band Aid because it was too 'smug'
Gorilla goes bananas and throws rock at tourists trying to film him in Berlin Zoo
diphallicdude dot tumblr dot com
Twin Foot Longs #Two
rubbing one out in the bathroom at McDonalds
eating cookie dough out of a chimp anus
having dinner with a girl who ate a lot like Christina Ricci
meeting Brian Bacon Gouda Stuffed Peppers
The Colossal Cans of Benjamin Buttocks
watching The Thin Man OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit
Allison Iraheta being forklifted off American Idol
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in fatworld Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the deep fried cockney gumshoe is paid in crullers
buying multiple copies of the book "To Eat or To Eat" by the incredibly obese New York Times food section author Ryan North
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in fatworld Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the deep fried cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third meal after lunch and brunch
ordering the wafflecaust in fatworld
drinking the lard in fatworld Mexico
watching a fatworld crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe climbs stairs
fatworld Bicoid Babe looking like a flat chested, assless Marceline from Adventure Time
the rabbit hole
the fatworld Regret Index giving Kento so much shit for being a thin gay Asian
fatworld Bob Geldof wanting your fuckin' money to provide liposuction for overweight Ethiopians
wondering if post WWII fatworld was horrified by shocking photos of Aufscwitz Jews gorged to weights of over a ton by Nazi scientists
wondering if fatworld's internet is home to a site where antisocial shut ins jack off to photoshops of anorexic celebrities
not in fatworld
but she's a tiny little woman
the death of Marion Barry
Monica being your least favorite F#R#I#E#N#D# by a wide margin
wiping Muk's face ineffectively to the point of causing pleasure instead of damage
UNBELIEVABLE! SCIZOR IS ACTUALLY THROWING MUK!
the only position for women in the struggle is Nekoashi dachi
the only position for women in the struggle is prone
Chris and Kento's Excellent Adventure
State police say a man stripped inside a women's bathroom at Boston's Logan Airport, climbed into a dropped ceiling, crashed through it and landed on the floor, then assaulted an elderly man while he was still naked and bleeding, wicked pissah
such a way phoneway way
such a way terrible loss
you poor thing
it's not that I'm not flattered
I don't have a penis, by the way
ogling Jewel's ape tits
sitting on Vigo the Carpathian's red flesh toilet
let's braid our penises together
I think I'm falling in love with you
getting the regret "frostiest pee stall drug, eh" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "red flesh toilet rapes guts" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "hustler serf ogled ape tits" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "sleepier goth sluts farted" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "all of these stupid regrets" but not having a Sometimes button
An Inconvenient Skeleton Colon The Unauthorized Investigation of Kate Middleton
An Inconvenient Skeleton Colon The Unauthorized Biography of Kate Middleton
an inconvenient skeleton
Nurses Told Not To Hang Themselves If They Want To Care For Prince William and Kate Middleton
an inconvenient mincing
Nannies Told Not To Wear Jeans If They Want To Shake Prince George
Journalists Told Not To Wear Jeans If They Want To Cover Prince William and Kate Middleton
that sounds conveniently mincing
that sounds eminently convincing
me too, but I have a big day ahead of me, here in France
having kind of enjoyed the Q&A this morning
wondering if you took that dildo out, would she die
Bicoid Bane
him hopkin green elf
your dentist posting pics of himelf with Mick Fleetwood to facebook
I just couldn't find a rhyme for it
I am literally that guy
I am the guy who was in your range
wondering if you're the guy who was in my range
wondering if you're the guy who was in Germany
en francais
the weather is fine
wondering if you ever fined Suzi Screwer
wondering if you ever screwed Suzi Rougher
wondering how France is this morning
wondering if you ever screwed Suzi Finer
a bit of a panic is good for us all sometimes
some might call me panicky but I really never showed it here
wondering if you're the panicky freakout guy from way back
not understanding why anybody would want to have sex with any member of Shame Trio
guessing it was someone from Shame Trio
still not figuring out the Rolling Stone cover thing
I'm not the Celebrity Regretter
doing a faintly exasperated posture and expression simultaneously
unless there's two of you, in which case, christ
Photographer Jane being before my time posting here, but probably relating to the Celebrity Regretter, meaning you're not him
not even remembering Photographer Jane
wondering if you're the guy who dated Photographer Jane
no, not him
wondering if you're the guy who dated the one legged Pakistani girl
they are the very worst sort
I never could stand them
even though there was some bad news this week, the Ukip victory really got your pecker up
Rachel is confirmed to live in Japan, or at least to have lived in Japan at some point
nobody cared who she was until she put in the dildo
always having thought that the Nagoya regretter was Rachel but conceding that it may be Kento, as you're not even sure why you think Rachel would be in Japan
nobody cared who she was until she took out the dildo
just catching that last typo as you hit enter
guessing that neither Bicoid Bane nor agenty fiftyseven post here a lot any more, what with the total lack of mention of the plane crash in Chicago this week
wondering if the Nagoya based regretter is Rachel or someone else or maybe even Kento
not really thinking of yourself as all that angry these days
God shit!
guessing that you're probably neither Bicoid Babe nor agenty fiftyseven
wondering if you're the Angry British Bandit, or the Northern Californian
Merde a Dieu!
wondering if you're the French Regretter
I'm sorry, that was uncalled for
wondering if YOU'RE Kento
fuck you, seriously
wondering if you're Kento
so could I, but I'm not
I could be
wondering if you're Rachel
I'm not Pseudonym
wondering if you're Pseudonym
it's all starting to blur together for me
just really wanting to use whither in a sentence sometimes
there are three of us, sometimes four, sometimes five, very rarely six
instead asking "whither runneth my sweetheart"
it's not important, I was just trying to figure out how many of us there still are here
The Ugly Titling
that you once lived with someone whose name was Tit Ling
wondering what question you want to ask
specifically correcting who's from whose but being mistaken, eh
reading the word titling as "tit ling"
specifically correcting who's from whose but being mistaken, oh well, time to dig your own corspe up again
that you once lived with someone who's first name was Swan
titling your autobiography Swans and Incest Colon So It's Come To This
the bitterly incestuous music of Swan, one of the most destructive waterfowl ever to have lived
the bitterly ironic music of Swan, one of the most destructive swanwriters ever to have lived
don't stand, don't stand, don't stand so close to me, or I'll break your arm with a single beat of my wing
Beak Tracy, a sharp beaked, hard hitting, fast shooting, and intelligent The Police swan
that's right, it's a swan with a gun
Beak Tracy, a sharp beaked, hard hitting, fast shooting, and intelligent police swan
a swan named tracy
a man named tracy
Tracy Morgan is now a retarded cripple
wanting to ask a question
Kate Middleton's Family Shares Their Thanksgiving Party Tips And Other Blatant Lies
Prince William Teases Comic for 'Flirting' with Kale
smelling sex and kandy kale
Prince William Teases Comic for 'Flirting' with Kate
Kandy Kale
LA milk harm
terrible hypnotist
not a good lawyert
An Ohio lawyer is under criminal investigation for hypnotizing a female client during meetings and directing her to engage in a series of sexual activities while in a trance and under his control
Mark Hamill will one day be remembered as history's greatest monster
killing for Mark Hamill at the Hyatt Regency London, near Kensington Palace, this Friday at midnight
Hotel gas blast at Hyatt Regency in London sees fourteen hurt
sprinking chocolate chips on your sister's breasts as you knead them
taking the most incestuous dump
hey guys, remember incest
not hooking up with your brother Ryan
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable second cousin
that your sibling is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really have to get off
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Woody Allen
having no way of knowing whether a new fuckbuddy, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is a blood relative or not as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
needing a cash incest, stat
Alison Incest being voted off American Idol
incest ayn rand chris lydon nomos nomoi nomos nomoi nomos
that rumors of a Sailor Moon movie center around Lindsay Lohan and not Incest Bledel, I mean duh
having an incestuous crush on Alex Dainis
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you commit interest
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Incest
inbreasts
the incest of Sylvia Browne
using the word "waffleincest"
watching a British crime drama performed in incest but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner
lolcest
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want an incestuous relationship, he meant it
failing to come up with an incestuously acceptable third person
telling that girl in second grade who incested that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina
Titan ADHD
that you're suddenly very incestuous in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope
saying "statutory incest" instead of "statutory interest"
seven vaganias
the Island to Remind You of Your Childhood
cunt apus
cock roc
bastard elephant bird
asswipe moa
motherfucker ostrich
cocksucker swan
prick goose
jerk chicken
Stacey Herald
gigantomastia
HEY, JOHNNY, I LIKE THAT! Johnny! I like that! I LIKE THAT MY FRIEND! I'M GONNA USE THAT!
boneless pork rectums inverted
To see posts on Titan's timeline, send him a friend request
nuts and gum, together at last
Titan AD
Et Dew, Doritos
I really hope Dewitos is fake otherwise it may be marked in the history books as the turning point in civilisation, the beginning of the end
Dewitos
Bryan Singer's Star Trek proposal sounding an awful lot like Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda series that was already running at the time
Star Trek Colon Federation
oops, that's Bryan Singer's Star Trek, my mistake
the phrase "fully functional" is underlined when discussing Wesley Crusher
Roman Polanski's Star Trek
Hot snot in kid, Number One
keeping your snot knots and number ones in the same location
I hid snot knot, Number One
I don't think so, Number One
that we are all just aspects of Kento's psyche, so maybe their disapperance represents a partial reweaving of Kento's frayed ego on his long path to sanity
that maybe the comments never existed even though we remember them, after all, he is Ryan "Q" North
swanorchidism
monoorchidism, sieg heil
monoorchidism
chirps, moodily
suspecting they are deleted from the server but backed up somewhere and that Ryan was hoping to restore them, because you recall the site becoming more stable around the time the comments database was removed
polyorchidism
wondering if the comments are actually deleted from the server, or if they are just hidden
sending your vegan veal tee refs to lactation swathes, eh
sending your vegan veal tee refs to an ethical sweatshop
vegan veal tee ref
veal tee ref
fetal Reeve
reveal feet
An EXPENSIVE Boob Ruin
La Fee Verte
thinking that Bono is the kind of guy who would think that not even his own clone or time traveling counterpart is good enough to have sex with him
A Free Boob Ruin
Oboe Urine Barf
Faerie Bourbon
wondering if Bono would rather have sex with a clone of himself or with himself from a different time period
Oreo Fun Barbie
According to research by the University Central Hospital in Helsinki, Finland, she would lack the seventeen to twenty two percent body fat required for a woman to menstruate
bottoming for Handjobrobot Four in Raiders of the Ace Butt Ark VII
Ken Carson
Barbara Millicent Roberts
Ace Butt Ark
Tuba Racket
Et tu, Barbie
Et tu, Barack
In the book, Barbie does such non tech savvy things as infecting her friend Skipper's hand job robot with a virus, which causes Skipper to lose her virginity
Barbie
The two girls have a pillow fight, then Barbie goes to hunt down Steven and Brian to help her with her computer woes
In the book, Barbie does such non tech savvy things as infecting her friend Skipper's laptop with a virus, which causes Skipper to lose her music files and homework
he's going to make mutual masturbation history
"anyone else would be a waste"
the very notion that Bono would ever allow himself to provide sexual pleasure to anyone other than himself
Bono will be that hand job robot, better than he was before, better, stronger, faster
we have the capability to build the world's first hand job robot
we have the technology
gentlemen, we can rebuild him
Bono, musician, a man barely alive
whatever side demands least tax
wondering what side Robo Bono will take in the Hand Job Robot Uprising
giving her the wings to fly through antimony
the agency described the company a "partner" and designated it the codename Gerontic
bottoming for Robo Bono in Screws After Bike Accident VII
giving her the wings to fly through harmony
Utwo's Bono fitted with metal plates, screws after bike accident
the death of Mike Nichols
Utwo's Bono suffered extensive injuries, had hours of surgery after horse bicycle crash
being slammed by Dr Ben Goldacre in Fanny Magnets VII
drinking cointreau daiquiris with Zachary Quinto
Dr Ben Goldacre slams fanny magnets
Kenny cast Glacial Crasher and then Stan's dad shot his dick off
Dad, that's not cock magic
Utwo's Bono suffered extensive injuries, had hours of surgery after bicycle crash
the Jimmy Savile of drinks
Myke Hawke magic is making a comeback
cock magic is making a comeback
Starbucks is making a Vegan Harvey Cream Fappucino because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Fat Albert Cream Blast Latte because they know you'll drink it
liking your coffee like you like your men, French, looking like Janice Dickinson, and filled with Bill Cosby's semen
the Piers Morgan of drinks
liking your coffee like you like your women, vanilla French roast
liking your coffee like you like your women, full of shit, having fancy names, and costing way too much
Starbucks is making a Montezuma's Revenge Mocha because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Green Apple Splatters Frappucino because they know you'll drink it
brewing a coffee with an unusually high feces content, so that you can market it as Starbucks
brewing a champagne with an unusually high feces content, so that you can market it as Sylvia Brown
brewing a pear cider with an unusually high alcohol content, so that you can market it as Perry Coma
herself she has
sexually assaulting her
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is Janice Dickinson, who stumbled to the regret index on a tip off from the google alert for herself she has
mobsters being sworn into the Calabria based crime syndicate's elite division known as "Santa"
Model Janice Dickinson has accused Bill Cosby of drugging and sexually assaulting her
the midnight poodler
the noodler
the doodler
Nyaruko Colon Crawling with Love
it's hard to grasp
wondering how someone could possibly fuck the eyholes of his or her own skull
seeing years later that you typo'd corpse as corspe and slightly wanting to disinter yourself and fuck the eyholes of your skull in order to violate yourself like you violated standardized spelling
experimenting with odd rainbow Petes when you were in college
seeing years later that you typo'd sprinkling as sprinking and slightly wanting to knead your eyes out
seeing years later that you typo'd Ryder as Rider and slightly wanting to claw your eyes out
seeing hours later that you typo'd denim as demin and slightly wanting to claw your eyes out
downtown like a Pride Parade, sliced up like a birthday cake
The Measuring Man
he's got the equipment to do it
Chris Lydon having never provided evidence he is not the Boston Strangler
Chris Lydon's persistent anneliduresis
that, given his propensity for setting things on fire coupled with his waking up frequently with the sheets soaking wet, Bruce Springsteen has clearly shown two of the three pillars of the Macdonald triad
drawing a picture of a little girl setting a demin clad pedophile ablaze as part of your pitch for a gritty reboot of Home Alone
cut loose like an animal, fired out like a cannonball
dreaming big, you blockhead
Mein Mampf
The residents of a small German town managed to turn a neo Nazi rally into an anti Nazi fundraiser by playing a trick on the supporters of the Third Reich
This year there was talk of experimenting with orange, yellow or odd rainbow Petes
your state not having an official GASEOUS dinosaur
most states not having an official state dinosaur
Rainbow Pete Parties
Fat Gay Asian Pete
This year there was talk of experimenting with orange, yellow or even rainbow Petes
Nursing Home Owner Caught On Tape Sexually Assaulting Resident Colon Cops
your state not having an official state dinosaur
hey little girl is your daddy home did he go and leave you all alone I got a bad desire oh oh oh I'm on fire
The Streets of Pedophiladelphia
The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed With Sun
the death of Doktor Flori
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Pedophiladelphia VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Big VII
suspecting that there probably isn't
wondering if there's more to life than this
savoring
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Road to Penetration VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Catch Me in the Can VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Savouring Mr Bonks VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Extremely Deep & Incredibly Tight VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in From the Girth to the Moon VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Turner & Cooch VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in The Polar Ass Press VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in You've Got Male VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in The Da Vinci Chode VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Freedom Colon A History of Ass VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Four Ass Hump VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Captain Fillass VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Asstaway VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Assless in Seattle VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Ploughed Assless VII
Multiple occurrences of king penguin sexual harassment by Antarctic fur seals
shipping tomatoes with potatoes
chopping tomatoes
finally ruining Star Wars for yourself, imagining Tusken Ikedas making that horrible throaty howl indiscriminately while Eiffel Towering each other
drawing a picture of Kento getting laceration from the lactation rodent
Old Chris
Tusken Ikedas
drawing a picture of Kento getting laceration from the sand tot
drawing a picture of Kento getting anal from the stoned tits orca
drawing a picture of Kento getting a root canal from the dentist
try to aim the oosik so that it goes down your throat and doesn't hit the teeth, Kento
having a feeling at the back of your jaw like you're getting a thirty third tooth
Starbucks is making an Iced Caramel Poodoo because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Bantha Fodder Praline Latte because they know you'll drink it
Ventioone, the Starbucks planet
fen draining and sod the canal, eh
Fingerin' Dan and the Anal Chodes
Roberto will bed the Avatar regardless of gender
A planet is an astronomical object orbitin a starn or stellar remnant that is massive enough tae be roondit bi its ain gravity, is nae massive enough tae cause thermonuclear fusion, an haes cleared its neighbourin region o planetesimals
Fowk that studies astronomie is cried astronomers
Simon Elliot
dying of bladder cancer that spread to your lungs
offing jerks, jerkoff
your clone using the amazing Regret Index to try and seduce you away from your time travelling self
when Darth Sidious was looking for the perfect jerk to clone to make his jerk army, he chose YOU
your clone, on the other hand, would likely have had completely different life experiences and personality traits
if you had a clone, they'd be a clone of a jerk
feeling like having sex with your othertime counterpart would be uncomfortable, because he either knows a lot more about your, or vice versa, and it would just be awkward
your clone
if you can't be comfortable with yourself, who can you be comfortable with
I'm glad you're comfortable enough to share that with everyone
Vegantooine
feeling like you'd be more comfortable having sex with yourself from another time period than with a clone of yourself
Ventooine
Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life
Bosbit Matarcher
I guess what I'm asking is whether it is possible to have a draw a picture of like a dozen Boba Fetts from different time periods forming an enormous daisy chain, each fisting the one that comes after before coming back full circle
While time travel was an exceedingly rare phenomenon, a few cases were partially documented
wondering if, somewhere in the countless reams of expanded universe bullshit, Star Wars has ever dipped into the overused time travel well
having a GENEROUS girth for the first time in years
Boba being digitally inserted in every new Star Wars movie
drawing a picture of Jango lecturing Boba about how dangerous it is to go wrist deep in a clone of himself
I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill considered project
years ago, you served my father in the Clone Fistings
clone fist is no laughing matter, son
colon fitness is no laughing matter
having a migrant for the first time in years, eh
having a mean girth for the first time in years
OJ Simpson Minimum Maintenance Colon Fitness For Men
having a nightmare for the first time in years
because they know you'll drink it
Kardashian for audience share
your lips to one again
you'll drink it
anus tightening procedures
losers
publicly
Scott Simon has caused more still births than nicotine
once you know what's in a chimp anus you'll never want to put your lips to one again
Scott Simon is better with his fists than Muhammad Ali
PETA encourages boycott of Starbucks in protest of chimpanzee anus tightening procedures
those cardboard caramel waffles Starbucks sell
size zero chimp anuses
only if it's skinny
Starbucks is making a Chimp Anus Champagne Frappucino because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Raw Feces Mochachino because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Chestnut Praline Latte because they know you'll drink it
wondering what it's like being in the PR group of a terrorist organisation, pitching ideas on how to compete with naked Kim Kardashian for audience share
Naked Kim Kardashian forced hostages to fight each other in boxing matches as the Beatles watched, and then tortured the losers
Naked Kim Kardashian makes fresh orifice
Naked Kim Kardashian gets fresh with coffee
The Beatles have also forced hostages to fight each other in boxing matches as the Beatles watched, and then tortured the losers
Paul appeared in the cells of the hostages less than the other Beatles, and appeared to be a guard only
Ringo was frequently seen by the hostages
It was the view of the hostages that George was not very intelligent
George, the leader of the Beatles, often spent time repeating sections of the Koran and promoting the ISIL's extremist views publicly
if there's anyone who knows about sexual assault, it's Scott Simon, who has knifed more pussies than a chef at a Chinese restaurant
NPR reporter speaks out on Twitter about Cosby silence on sexual assault claims
velcro
Naked Kim Kardashian makes her off feces
Naked Kim Kardashian makes fresh coffee
not being able to walk down Main Street USA without being pelted by jizz
wondering how many new jizz bars will dot Disney's theme parks worldwide given the new Star Wars acquisition
really hoping you're not the only one who remembers the Disney jizz thing
wondering if there's a whole load of jizz going around Disneyland yet
being late for Disneyland because of heavy traffic at the Eiffel Tower
being late for Disneyland because of Aer Lingus
their children need wine
Paris or California
being late for Disneyland because of cunnilingus
payola ha ha ha ha ha
payola
always having questions, so many questions
actually Big Benning a girl with a porcupine last night, no joke
wondering how you explained the chocolate chips
drawing a picture of Miley Cyrus being Eiffel Towered by Milo & Otis then discovering she already put a selfie of that up on Instagram taken on the set of her new video
disgusting
actually spooning a girl's boobs last night, no joke
drawing a picture of Miley Cyrus being Eiffel Towered by Hall & Oates then discovering she already put a selfie of that up on Instagram taken on the set of her new video
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Hall & Oates
watching Milo & Otis with Hall & Oates
tractor pulls
Brainie the Pooh
Stefan Karlovich
Karl Stefanovic
pumping gas with Hump & Ass
humping ass with Hump & Ass
hauling ass with Hall & Ass
hauling oats with Hall & Oates
listening to Bamboleo while laying Bambi in a bamboo bed
word boobs
the word "boob" looking like a guy with glasses giving two thumbs up
putting it my way, but nicely, you are precisely my cup of tea
sellpantiesforkroner dot dk
I probably get four or five requests a week from eager Bostonians looking to score some female understains, wicked pissah
sellpantiesformoney dot com
selling your used ant farms on reddit
signed, death
kidding lol not even if you paid me
et in Furcadia ego
FurryMUCK
Lolapps
smelling your used panties on reddit
selling your pee and suits
selling your used panties on reddit
Furcadia
On one occasion, when she was seven months pregnant, she had to take a train and taxi from the Lake House estate near Salisbury to London to prepare soup and salad for Miss Styler
Male Chimpanzees treat Females aggressively to Father More Babies
dog watch
redundancy is extraneous
eight balls
eight bells
that's redundant
sluttywalrusmagazine dot com
walrusmagazine dot com
try "boning walrus" instead
really it should bring up Kento's homepage as the second result
googling "walrus bones" brings up wikipedia's Baculum page as the first result
Scared Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle
beyond the carpus
wondering how a walrus could possibly wear a wrist watch
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a walrus could possibly fist Kento
being Big Benned by confusion and gerontification
being Big Benned by compulsion and gratification
being Eiffel Towered by compulsion and gratification
I just mistook compulsion for gratification
wondering when you started expecting that any of these stunt sex acts be pleasurable
Kento "Double Time" Ikeda
it always seems to come back to fisting eventually
A sexual act where a man or woman engages in fisting with their partner while wearing a wrist watch
branucidtionray might be of help
that doesn't sound pleasurable for anyone involved, but it takes all sorts to make a world
the regular striking of balls
still not being clear on what a Big Benning entails, but imagining it involves the regular striking of bells
drawing a picture of Kento being Big Benned by Ben Butthocks and Ben Buttocks
winning Mutually Acceptable Third Person at the Cans Film Festival with seventeen loads
The Official Danish Remoulade of the Cans Film Festival
in Belgium
really liking the idea of a Cans Film Festival and hoping it becomes a thing
porn actor Ben Butthocks ended up staying in a "waffletastic" five star hotel after he was mistaken for the very similarly named Ben Buttocks at the Cans Film Festival
actor Ben Miller ended up staying in a "lavish" five star hotel after he was mistaken for the very similarly named Ben Stiller at the Cannes Film Festival
beating off Dick Neutral, or not
beating Dick Neutral
being Dick Neutral
it odd walrs cock
Dotard's Cowlick
cock rod wad list
Toad Lick Crowds
never knowing Dick Laws existed until it was too late
Obituary Colon Dick Laws
being Doctor Dick Lawful instead of Doctor Dick Chaotic
Doctor Dick Laws
it's too orangey for Kento
Kento with a walrus as a dog
Kento with a walrus as a kid
giving Jackson C Frank an eyeful when you were Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus as a kid
Party Favor Hamilton
based sabotage, topkek lel
Organizations distance themselves from Olympian cum escort Suzy Favor Hamilton
wondering how, assuming the moose stays healthy, Team Ikeda could possibly beat Team Christensen without some kind of sand based sabotage
Paris on alert as police spot fat gay Asian hand and knee prints near Champ de Mars
sometimes thinking that you know who the Celebrity Regretter is, but then thinking that actually you're probably just reading into the subtle hints of someone else who thinks they know, and the two of you are further convincing each other
Paris on alert as police spot fat gay Asian foot prints near Champ de Mars
Experts speculate on rumored Team Ikeda last minute replacement
Paris on alert as police spot big cat paw prints near motorway
still not having any good data on that
suspecting that five seven zero two zero is unanswerable because observation is near impossible and testing would just be perceived as a contest
still wondering about five seven zero two zero
having a David Zincfield deficiency
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is David ZINCfield
Penistone fire death boys' funeral to be held
being a McHammer and prood, I'll chin ye
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is David Copperfield
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is MC Hammer
getting that "hath cunt, will coitus" tattoo
at night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and the lyrics of "u can't touch this" running through the middle of my head
having the lyrics of "couch tits haunt" running through your head all night
having the lyrics of "shit cunt taco, uh" running through your head all night
having the lyrics of "cunt hath coitus" running through your head all night
British prime minister gets laughs at Australian counterpart's expense over threat to Russian, cheerio, crikey, da
having the lyrics of "u can't touch this" running through your head all night
tribbing with trilobites
that after that short but emotionally draining trilobite tryst with twitter, you vowed to never again have fossil sex with a social media site
having dinosaur sex with Facebook and accidentally putting it in
having dinosaur sex with Facebook and accidentally putting it in your public feed because those security settings are tricksy
Giant storms on gassy Uranus have astronomers scratching their heads
Facebook using animated dinosaur to explain new privacy policy
The members of the Dresden Dolls are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true Eiffel Towering
having tiny penis sex with Diplo
ya ya ya
having diplodocus sex with Lorde
Lorde defends Taylor Swift, disses Diplo's 'tiny penis' on Twitter
Mr Steven Tyler and his Shame Trio
training the internet
local officials said a young tiger had been spotted in a village outside Paris
The members of Irate Mosh are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
because I am you and then we will just be fucking ourselves
The members of Moist Hare are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
The members of Shame Trio are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
watching the true ending of Revolution X on YouTube and wondering why you bothered
watching the true ending of Revolution X on YouTube and wondering why they bothered
bra eking the internet
The members of Aerosmith are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
breaking the internet
some idiot trying to burn a whole evergreen he just cut down right across the street from you
ASIAN KUNG FU GENERATION
Boston terriers
drawing a picture of Kento being EFi
wondering if the boxer from the Simon and Garfunkel song was actually a dog
taking your Berger Picard to rectal pacifism school, make it so
taking your Alaskan malamute to rectal pacifism school, meow
fneosan
taking your shih tzu to rectal pacifism school, I shit you not
taking your Scottish terrier to rectal pacifism school because he kept chinning ye
rectal pacifiers
taking your Irish evil setter to rectal pacifism school
taking your cruel anal lab to rectal pacifism school
Category colon Irish evil rectal pacifists
vandalizing every wikipedia article by adding "rectal" before each instance of "pacifism"
Mr Penumbra's Twenty Four Hour Bookstore
Rectal Pacific North West Geldof
The trouble with a 'scientific' argument, of course, is that it relies solely on rectal pacifism
Jewel's biggest regret in life was saying 'thongs' not lions
making a boob of yourself by saying 'no' to hosting SNL
Jewel's biggest regret in life was saying 'no' to hosting BNP
The trouble with a 'scientific' argument, of course, is that it relies solely on empirical facts
Spooning Night Live
Jewel's biggest regret in life was saying 'no' to hosting SNL
it took them a good four hours to realise their error
'Others forget but we remember', the BNP said of the traditional Remebrance Day silence on Twitter today, only they managed to forget the very date that the First World War ended on themselves
Cameron pledges to cut birth rate and prevent UK being "swamped" by low skilled child labourers
More than a fifth of UK jobs only require the educational level of an eleven year old, cheerio
Remains of infants dating from Ice Age uncovered in Alaska, meow
CRULANALAB used EIFFEL TOWER! It was super effective!
bow not, minor Ani
abortion minnow
Brownian motion
we all let it come this far
we're all to blame
it's always me
that's right, it's me
now who's sorry
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by North West and a cruel anal lab
wondering what the crassest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the crustiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the pussiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the fussiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the messiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the massiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
regret number three one four four five
wondering what the gassiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
Rosetta mission Colon Philae lander is 'Kento' for attempted comet touchdown
Rosetta mission Colon Philae lander is 'Go' for attempted comet touchdown
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Tim Gunn and a penguin wearing white tie
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by George Clooney and a baboon in a tuxedo
wondering what the classiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
though it's hard to call someone violated when he's that enthusiastic
it's not even close
the Boston aquarium
wondering where Kento was violated most, in the comments here or at the Boston aquarium
not remembering Kento's that shit mime, ow
hey guys, remember comments
thinking he said it in the comments, then remembering that pretty much everybody claimed to be Kento in the comments
not remembering that Kento's mom is white
we know that Kento's mom is white, or so we've been told
that we know nothing of Kento's mom
slamming Kento in the car door
The Bumchow Rats
Coprophagy Hindgut Fermentation Geldof
bottoming for Monterey Jack in Hindgut Fermentation VII
Chip and Dale from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers always reminding you of rodents practising coprophagy to aid hindgut fermentation
Chip and Dale from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers always reminding you of Joe and Brian from Wings
The Pentagon wants an airborne aircraft carrier to launch drones
Dapper Laughs Colon On the Pull
the Bristol stool scale, gurt lush init
sending him to outer space, to find another race
Kento walks into a bar and yells "who do I have to blow to get some service around here," everyone in the bar raises their hand, so Kento sucks off lick two dozen guys, after which the bartender asks him what he'll have and Kento says "I don't drink"
The Merciless Pepper of Quetzalacatenango
the Bristol scale was originally devised as a measure of how terrible Bristol was at any given point
blaming all errors, inaccuracies and omissions by wikipedia on Jack Greenmaven
Martin Luther pelinkovec
wondering why the University of Bristol's wikipedia page neglects to mention it as the birthplace of the Bristol scale
Kim Il sung ttongsul
Marshall Applewhite Kool Aid
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley in a Kia Sedona in the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, this Sunday at eight in the evening
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley in a Kia Sedona in Pasadena, CA
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley in a Kia Sedona
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley
Knightly in the Strangers Colon The Kiera Knightly Story
bottoming for Kiera nightly in Keira Knightley Colon Love
bottoming for Kiera Knightly in Colon Love
Keira Knightley Colon Love Actually Is the Greatest Movie Ever Made
your jet set drive through fanny not running properly on Windows Eight
if you have trouble with your jet set fanny, sometimes it helps to just unplug it then plug it back in
Mary Baker Eddy clamato
being unable to operate your jet set drive through fanny because you only have a Third Class Medical Certificate with a month left on it
legitimately needing an instruction manual
having a jet set drive through fanny
Brigham Young pissala
having legs but not knowing how to use them
L Ron Hubbard au jus
Moses milkshake bringing all the Jews to the Promised Land
lots and lots of Moses milkshakes
Moses milkshake
Buddha aojiru
Muhammed smoothies
turning weird tricks at Pooh Corner
discovering weird tricks
crabbily chroming a crab in Cromer
camping is in tents
skeletal dipping
fat gay Asian dipping
skinny dipping
being Eiffely Towered
drawing a picture of T Rex being Eiffel Towered by Ryan North and agenty fiftyseven
democratically boned chicken
boning a dinosaur with agenty fiftyseven
mechanically boned chicken
Democratic People's Republic of Korea Fried Chicken
one person being very berry boned
Canadian freed by North Korea wanted poutine, eh
TWO people eating very boned
one person being very boned
Jesus juice
American freed by North Korea wanted pizza
one person being very bored
being unfamiliar with Gladiators
wondering if this was two people riffing or one person being very bored
Kroner
Trope
Buttocks
Chimp
Spoon
Turtle
Waffle
Tank
Rebel
Dallas
Sky
Siren
Sabre
Havoc
Elektra
Cyclone
Tower
Storm
Turbo
Ice
Diamond
Titan
Jade
Laser
Gold
Bronco
Blaze
Sunny
Nitro
Gemini
Zap
Lace
Malibu
waking up to a very interesting story about The Police collusion with populist fascism alleged to be taking place right now
waking up to a very interesting story about police collusion with populist fascism alleged to be taking place right now
Ebola panic grips nudist beach at Canary Islands as undocumented African boat beaches
syrup nipping urine disease
golden syrup showers
syrup topping urine disease
lickstarter
lickbait
nipple syrup urine disease
maple syrup urine disease
amplexus
clickbait
you don't see a Oasis wine potion here
lick Oasis wine potion
I woo icon's panties ilk
it's like piano cos I won
it's like onion aspic, ow
eating champagne waffles out of a chimp anus
that apparently champagne waffles are really good
it's like a cow's opinion
wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a dungeons & dragons letter
the Burger King comet
HL Tau surrounded by circles of dust and gas, with clear gaps indicating where planets are forming
Former basketball star Dennis Rodman claims he secured release of Kenneth Bae from North Korea
the bosom of Prof Einstein
the bosom of Arnold
the bosom of Abraham
sittin' on eggs is out, O W T, out!
Tot Pussy Bottleneck
Baby Bottleneck
Raymond Scott's "Wafflehouse" playing on your Wafflegraph
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Pornograph
goutytitsarsepinupworld dot wikia dot com
urinating syrup toppings, waffletastic
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want pissing to your pant erupt
X Men Origins Colon Sweet Pee
eating the X Man who could urinate syrup toppings
the sweet pee is not syrup
Sweet Pee
being the X Man who could urinate syrup toppings
urinating syrup toppings while beaming Peter Nippers
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want gouty tits arse pinup porn
if you could urinate syrup toppings you would have no regrets
it's a joke about time travel, although it isn't very good
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to urinate syrup toppings
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to insert grit up a pony, sup
not getting why you want to add "I'm really sorry" for regret number eighty eight thousand eight hundred and eighty eight
having just over four thousand regrets to learn how to duplicate regrets
I can't stop laughing and I'm an awful person, god damn you
I'm really sorry
I'm really sorry
everything you touch turns to shit
making an anagram in which each word makes the whole exponentially worse
"I'm really sorry" was going to be regret eighty eight thousand eight hundred and eighty eight, now you've ruined that for me as well
I'm really sorry
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to rape ruin tot pussy, ping
Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as EGO
that in fairness to yourself you did have to look up Powerhouse to know what it was called and who wrote it
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to put a spring in your step
that was pretty much where my mind went as soon as I hit enter
not being sure you know who Taylor Swift actually is, though from the description you're pretty sure you'll have heard one of her gramophones at some point
dopefirmseh dot ca
not being sure you know who Taylor Swift actually is, though from the description you're pretty sure you'll have heard one of her records at some point
deepfirmhos dot com
guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil Taylor Swift's food again
guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil our food again
guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil our fun again
drawing a picture of Kento being masturbatory totem poled by Chris Lydon, a walrus, Jack Greenmaven, and Fantwothousand
the very idea that Chris Lydon has thoughts hopes and dreams
beyond being a masturbatory totem
freedomship dot com
the very idea that Chris Lydon has thoughts hopes and dreams beyond being a masturbatory totem
wanting to add "has thoughts hopes and dreams beyond being a masturbatory totem" to Chris Lydon's wikipedia article, but guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil our fun again
FLOREDA
America's wang
a Florida man offered a female undercover cop three dollars and a chicken dinner in exchange for sex, police report
Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID
that rumors of a Fat Sailor Moon movie center around eleven hundred pound Lindsay Lohan and not four hundred and twenty pound Alexis Bledel, I mean duh
you try to imagine people enjoying deep end porn fantasies
Raymond Scott's "Super Woo, Eh" playing in your head whenever you try to imagine people enjoying deep end porn fantasies
the Super Bowl to gain attention
fantasy
pounds
gangbangs
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing in your head whenever you try to imagine people enjoying deep end porn fantasies
that in your head canon the fatworld contributors are all wretchedly skinny malnourished nerds who hammer out their obesity fantasies in the same way that Israelis watch holocaust porn or closeted rednecks watch poor little white boy interracial gangbangs
fatgayasianworld dot wikia dot com
wanting to add "has thoughts hopes and dreams beyond being a masturbatory totem" to every fatworld article, and kind of a lot of other articles, just because it's good to be reminded of that occasionally
wondering if the contributors to fatworld are themselves morbidly obese and the whole thing is neatly explained as some kind of body horror thing stemming from their own despair
wanting to add "washes herself with a rag on a stick" to every fatworld article but suspecting this would simply play into the fantasy
waking up feeling like you've got monoxide poisoning even though the alarm isn't sounding
wondering if the DeLorean's unique door design allowed for easier access and egress for thousand pound women
break shattering weight and easily mobility
Beginning in nineteen ninety six the secret of Anna Nicole Smith's break shattering weight and easily mobility were widely known but it was Aniston who started the so called "Weight Inflation Trend" of the late nineties and early aughts
The DeLorean Motor Company is still operating and was one of the first companies, along with Apple, to use ad time during the Super Bowl to gain attention
the specificity of the weights given on fatworld is what really bugs me, as though the images of morbidly obese celebrities is not enough to get the boners up, but knowing that she weighs exactly seven hundred and seventy eight pounds is
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually buy her mucus
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually buy her food
the world will never seem clean again
idly clicking through pages on the fatworld wiki and just imagining forty shut ins masturbating to pictures of Jabba the Hutt in a dress
Her weight was conjecture until spring twenty fourteen when Swift confirmed that she weighed around six hundred fifty pounds
By the time of their engagemement Swift's weight had surged past five hundred and by the time of her wedding it was estimated she was weighed approximately five hundred eighty pounds
By twothousandeight, Swift's weight had hit four hundred pounds and was heavier than her mother
Swift weighed twohundred and fifty pounds when her music career began and was already heavier than most her age
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually bury her music
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually buy her music
that apparently burning eggshell is the most disgusting smell forgetting to put your balls in the dryer
that apparently burning eggshell is the most disgusting smell
forgetting to put your balls in the dryer
quitting PETA to join QFUB
Borscht Bitch Catnaps
Scratchbob Itchpants
pressure from PETA continues to mount
I like tshirts with a nice joke, like "Support Our Troops"
speculation is rife that Team Ikeda will be a no show in Paris after three consecutive veterinarians quit over safety concerns
commentator Andrew Zimmern, himself a former world champion Eiffel Towering center, described Ikeda's failure to properly grip the inside of the curve as a "rookie mistake" that was "inexcusable at that level of competition"
Paul Newman's gonna have ma' legs broke
it's time to mate the muppets on the muppet show tonight
at the Tokyo Towering Grand Prix in May of this year, Ikeda suffered a burnout on the fourth lap, which many attributed to a lack of adequate lubrication
sources close to Ikeda cite his failure to win the coveted "Sweatiest Ass in the World" title this year as one reason he may be off his game ahead of the Fiftieth Annual World Eiffel Towering Championship in Paris
it's sweatiness that I'm thinking of
it's sweetness that I'm thinking of
I'm the oat skimmer
I'm the moist maker
the moist maker
I'm an absolute beginner
I'm just your memory, I can't give you any new information
wondering if Kento Marek will be in the new Star Wars movie
Star Wars Colon Ewoks Recheat Fan
Star Wars Colon Anoraks Chew Feet
Star Wars Colon He's Nae A Wet Frock
Star Wars Colon Kento Face Rash, Ew
Star Wars Colon Choke Sweater Fan
For Reasons Unknown, Colon And Rectal Cancer Rates Are Rising In People Under Fifty
Indiana Davies
Star Hike
Star Force
Star Wars Colon Sweat For A Neck, Eh
dammnit
Star Force Colon Swan Feather Coke
Star Wars Colon The Force Awakens
fartworld is not a valid wikia
if you get the opportunity
using "leaving the bunch and taking your banana" as a euphemism
taking a banana off the bunch, dropping the bunch clumsily resulting in at least one banana being internally liquefacted, then leaving the bunch and taking your banana
most of it seems to be the work of Fantwothousand
Im The Doctor was banned for being unable to separate fantasy from reality
there are sixty registered users, though it's hard to tell how many are in it for the epic lulz, and a couple are obvious bots
wondering if the seven hundred plus awful photoshops of monstrously obese women are the work of one man, or if there are multiple people who jack off to the episodes of Friends where Monica wore the fat suit
deep throating freedom fries
eating fried peppers
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to keep eating, never stop eating
spooning Jewel's chin rolls
having impure thoughts about a four hundred and fifty pound Winona Ryder
The One Where Rachel Gains Over a Thousand Pounds
Her colossal weight gain throughout the years is one of a kind fantastic fable one would dream of
looking up Mariah Carey on fatworld
getting momentarily dragged into the fatworld rabbit hole
assymetrical gaming
I'm pretty sure they can hear us too
I've got nothing to say but it's OK
Canada is back to being an ethical, respected, shitty tundra
it's called a Schmorgesvein and it's elegantly cultural
all you do is collect and spend Canadough
Rune Haako
fatworld dot wikia dot com
choking on a very large, very sharp shard of ice in your drink
Lizard Limbs Turned into Genitalia
Bosch also injected Rodriguez with a "clear liquid substance in the buttocks," which he told him was "vitamins"
Seventy year old Englishman charged with attempting to smuggle $one hundred twenty million of cocaine into Ireland
Oldest NFL Cheerleader Arrested For Sex With Fifteen Year old Boy
urine glazed ham
liking your women like you like your ham, glazed with honey and smelling like urine
shaving an orifice with someone who smells like honey glazed ham and urine
sharing an orifice with someone who smells like honey glazed ham and urine
sharing an office with someone who smells like honey glazed ham and urine
munting
liking your women like you like your coffee, partially digested by cats
liking your women like you like your coffee, scalding you unexpectedly
liking your women like you like your coffee, in your lap suddenly
having coffee in your lap suddenly
You'll Never Believe What Jolly Oat Semen Looks Like Now, Eh!
You'll Never Believe What Enamel Joy Slot Looks Like Now, Eh!
seeing doughnut shops everywhere
You'll Never Believe What Haley Joel Osment Looks Like Now!
potassium cynanide, cheerio, lobster drunk Irishmen
drunk Irishevilmen
A Maine man has been charged with killing a suicidal English man by mailing him poisonous potassium cynanide, cheerio, lobster
drunk Irishmen
the alcoholism nature of your kind
skiing Hewn Dan, no homo
calling your foot "Hewn Dan"
calling your foot "Dawn Hen"
Menace Tooth Society
the ship that brought trannie hookers to America
calling your foot "New Hand"
the ship that brought prostitutes to America
going to the barber and asking for Phil Spector's Old Foul Swan but you ended up getting Art Garfunkel's Electrocuted Goose
Phil Spector's Old Foul Swan
Phil Spector's Wall of Wigs
Phil Spector's Wall of Brains
Phil Spector's Wall of Sound
wondering how often people respond to meeting James Taylor with anything but bored silence
wondering how often people respond to meeting James Taylor with "wow, former President James Taylor"
your love life's PUA
people telling you life was gonna be that way, but you didn't listen and now life is that way
The One With Phoebe's Or Ursula's Autopsy
having no way of knowing whether a new F#R#I#E#N#D#, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
no one telling you life was gonna be that way
Whore of Babylon is the Revelation character sometimes considered to be Queen Elizabeth II, who is still the Head of State of Jamaica, or the papacy, or both
the Soviet government proposed that a causeway be built at the Tartar Strait to block cold water from flowing into the Sea of Japan therefore raising the temperature in areas around the Sea of Japan, desu ne, da
Anij who is like an experienced woman taking a young man carefully to his fist orgasm, is what I meant to write, and it probably would have been funnier
Anij who is like an experienced woman taking a young man carefully to his firt orgasm
a bat penis, uh
ah, penis tuba
HasPainTube, the new joint venture of WebMD, Youtube, and I Can Has Cheezburger
HasPainTube
tub penis, aha!
verdant soylent green
Peanut Shiba
vegan soylent green
putting salsa verde on soylent green
putting mignonette on hotkids
the Soviet government proposed that a causeway be built at the Tartar Strait to block cold water from flowing into the Sea of Japan therefore raising the temperature in areas around the Sea of Japan
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon putting mignonette on his erect hotdog as Kento looks on
putting tartar sauce on Chris Lydon's erect penis
putting mignonette on hotdogs
Parklife
telling a child that you want to be swallowed up by his Great Pit of Carkoon, but it's not a sex thing because you're not into vore
Anakin was into older women
A Canada man dressed as the "Star Wars" character Anakin Skywalker was arrested last week after he arranged to meet up with a youngling to have sex
feeling that having your own Boba Fett costume should be sufficient to put you on a sex offender registry
Hummingbirds Use Their Beaks as Weapons
putting tartar sauce on hash browns
I don't post on a vore forum
it does if you're posting on a vore forum
A Michigan man dressed as the "Star Wars" character Kit Fisto was arrested last week after he arranged to meet up with a child to have sex
in the guy's defense, telling a child that you want to be swallowed up by his Great Pit of Carkoon does not necessarily have a sexual meaning
Bryan Singer to direct Star Wars Episode VIII
Anij who is like an experienced woman taking a young man carefully to his first orgasm
A Michigan man dressed as the "Star Wars" character Boba Fett was arrested last week after he arranged to meet up with a child to have sex
teen spirit corn
homo fisting Winnie Cooper and then she turned out to be really hot
not finishing discovery
skiing hewn rift, no homo
homo fisting worn kin, eh
not marrying Winnie Cooper and then she turned out to be really hot
not finishing homework
sex corn and candy corn
The One Where Joey and Chandler Fall Out Forever Over Candy Corn
having bananas in your pyjamas and running down the stairs slamming your dick into your boobs and barfing and chasing teddybears
having bananas in your pyjamas and no idea why
having pockets in your pyjamas and no idea why
having a fantastic Halloween party ruined by a sudden Coldplay
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable imitation grain
ruing candy corn
having a fantastic coldsnap ruined by a sudden Halloween costume
having a fantastic Halloween costume ruined by a sudden coldsnap
that you will never be as dapper as Tim Gunn
ruining a friendship by admitting you like candy corn
ruing a friendship by admitting you like candy corn
having a favorite episode of that one sitcom you don't like all that much
Eddie Chapman
Kento was recently arrested for common assault after overhearing a younger fat gay asian man describing him as "a total swipe left"
Go's muffin top song
Kento's muffin top
that the fiftieth annual World Eiffel Towering Championship in Paris is only two months away and Kento has been looking pretty out of shape lately
Carlos the Tickle Monster
the death of Tom Magliozzi
having blue master balls
Joseph Beyrle
gotta catch your balls
having two master balls
Richard Branson 'Feathered' Hair System Deployed Prematurely Colon NTSB
Stalag porn
SpaceShipTwo 'Feather' Tail System Deployed Prematurely Colon NTSB
Ochre Porno Geldof
Pooh Corner Geldof
cooler than cans and warmer than buttocks
cooler than champagne and warmer than a chimp anus
cooler than dungeons and warmer than dragons
cooler than tall ships and warmer than space ships
#broken
warmer than hair and cooler than tumescence
#fixed
warmer than ice cream and cooler than the sun
cooler than ice cream and warmer than the sun
riding the Circle Line to Lust
riding the tube to Pooh Corner
the wonderful thing about tiggers, is tiggers can autofellate
getting a hunny job from a stuffed hooker in the dumpster behind Pooh Corner
theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Piglet stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and vanished
oh, bother
turning tricks at Pooh Corner
mastering Objectivism as a baby
Veni Puke
The Mid Life Crises In The Hall
Justin Bieber to blast into virgin with Richard Branson
phones
the previous sentence is entirely complete
mastering object permanence but later reaching a zenlike state of affairs wherein never know
Vinni Pukh
Justin Bieber to blast into space with Virgin Galactic
never mastering object permanence as a baby
Troopers say Christopher Robin told them he had "gentle sexual intercourse" with Piglet over the summer, but that he claimed it was acceptable because he weighs over forty pounds and is neutered
that all of the Kids in the Hall are in their fifties now
soaking Buck Naked in a mud bath with two female ensigns
Star Trek Colon Kento's Erection
soaking in the same mud bath buck naked with five male ensigns
soaking buck naked in a mud bath with two female ensigns
Troopers say Branson told them he had "gentle sexual intercourse" with SpaceshipTwo over the summer, but that he claimed it was acceptable because she is weightless in space
Man Allegedly Thought It Was 'OK' To Have Sex With SpaceshipTwo
Troopers say Boggess told them he had "gentle sexual intercourse" with Piglet over the summer, but that he claimed it was acceptable because she weighs over forty pounds and is spayed
good grief
Man Allegedly Thought It Was 'OK' To Have Sex With Beagle
Branson 'needed trim' to find cause of spaceship crash
Branson 'determined' to find cause of spaceship crash
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while killing women"
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while kissing women"
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while thrilling women"
Andre the shit demon has a posse
being slain by a shit demon
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "reveal shit demon"
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while holding women"
the company said it would put people in space by two thousand ought seven
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "the dream lives on"
anta odeli uta
The Free speech of Free men has won over the Elders' thousand year hypnosis
being slain by a poop wight
I've established four republics, and now I'm going to sour here being slain by a pus balrog
Black Anus Rzeszewski
Anus Rzeszewski
Janusz Rzeszewski
I've established four republics, and now I'm going to sour here
being slain by a pus balrog
Lidia Rzeszewska
being slain by a smegma gnome
Agata Rzeszewska
being slain by a booger elf
being slain by a barf mandragora
there's some up your nose, but it's not yours
laying down with a puke imp and rising with puke all over you, in your hair, in your buttcrack, between your fingers, even in your armpits, it's disgusting
being slain by a puke imp
"The chocolate is real!"
the one with Ross' Hutt banquet
the stormtroopers in Aelita looking fucking amazing
Ross' Hutt banquet
not getting a minute all day
A puke imp has been forced to apologise for apparently calling the head of a Christian charity a paedophile on Twitter
A Ukip MEP has been forced to apologise for apparently calling the head of a Christian charity a paedophile on Twitter
squatternut bosh
eating jacks and sea franks with Jackson C Frank
eating franks and beans with Benjamin Franklin
wood fireback
Backdoor Wipe
Backdoor Wife
Champion Butt Plug Hour
Backstage Wife
Champion Spark Plug Hour
The Adventures of Smilin' Jack
The Fleischmann's Yeast Hour
Captain Stubby's Special Delivery
Captain Stubby and the Buccaneers
in the end, the only advertisers he could still get were peanut butter brands
they never should have given him a second chance with Don McNeill's Cruel Anal Lab
that's why it was taken off the air
Don McNeill's Breast Fuck Lab
Don McNeill's Breakfast Club
seeing Richard Branson going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one hand and a bottle of blue milk in the other
Arthur Fortune
abusing your arse privileges
when he heard what happened, he was so surprised that blue milk shot out of his arse, cheerio
when he heard what happened, he was so surprised that blue milk shot out of his nose
guessing that Richard Branson's Rtwo unit had a bad motivator
going on the Mojave Slutwalk
A SLUT Galactic spacecraft intended to carry tourists crashed in the Mojave desert due to an "in flight anomaly" during a test flight Friday, killing one person, which you had NOTHING TO DO WITH, eighttwooneseveneight
A Virgin Galactic spacecraft intended to carry tourists crashed in the Mojave desert due to an "in flight anomaly" during a test flight Friday, killing one person, which you had NOTHING TO DO WITH, fourninefiveonenine
a metronome and a very pretty girl
playing Gender Dungeons & Sex Dragons with CIS Duncan
playing Sex Dungeons & Gender Dragons with Tim Duncan
never getting around to building that sex dungeon that the dust told you to build
never getting around to building that sex dungeon
When kids in failing schools begged Jerry Brown for rescue, HE BETRAYED THEM
wearing cloths that accentuate your Benjamin's large buttocks
wearing cloths that accentuate your large buttocks
Batman's Treaty
clowning around because you have nothing else, not even sleeping around, which frankly sounds like a lot more fun
vegan carnivore knowledge
carnivore knowledge
carnival knowledge
carnal knowledge
never getting to plow you, never getting to plow all about you, never getting to ride you, never getting to hope you ride me
never getting to know you, never getting to know all about you, never getting to like you, never getting to hope you like me
getting around to drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
never getting around to drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
getting around to it
never getting around to it
young cygnets
inexplicably using a Middle English word in place of the modern equivalent
young signets
something something Ross Gellar something peck the eyholes of his skull to violate him like he violated young boys
pecking out Ross E Gellar's eye with your beak when you wereswan
drawing a picture of Ross making out with Rachel as she begins to slowly sprout feathers, her lips gradually elongating into a knifelike beak that then pierces his skull through his eye socket
being slain by a wereswan
puking that whole thing of puke on Chris Lydon's erect anything and puking forever
WE WERE SWAN A BEAK
licking that whole thing of kim chee off of Chris Lydon's erect penis and puking in bed
WE WERE ON A BREAK
Bumgarner
at this point I have completely lost all enthusiasm for the hobby
he's not allowed to fly it without my supervision
working part time in a five and dime
Celebrity Wedding Planner
bottoming for Tinkling Hoe in Ass Enameler Job VII
bottoming for James Earl Bones in The Loin King VII
Hepster's Dictionary
spoiling The Lion King for Hayden Christensen, apparently
you cannot possibly be genuinely mad at me for saying that The Lion King has got sand in it
wondering if poor James Earl Jones ever gets any sand blowjobs
it's not racist, the sand spelled out SEX
that's racist
James Earl Jones was in The Lion King, he can't have a too much of a problem with sand
wondering if poor James Earl Jones ever gets any sand blowback
wondering if people actually do for real send sand to Hayden Christensen and whether he still finds that amusing
trying to complain in writing to your ISP, only to find that they probably closed down all operations in your country, as in, literally all operations bar the already running hardware which is presumably maintained by gnomes, seven years ago
sand lover
Rifftrax Anakin Skywalker I Don't Like Sand
I like the prequels
see, there IS continuity
always having found it strange that Vader never elected to go down to Tatooine and lead the search for the missing droids himself, but realizing that with the release of the prequels his motivation for staying behind was finally revealed
wondering if Vader would have held on to power as long as he did if his intense, irrational hatred of sand had been more well known
Kento Ozzel
coming out of hyperspace too soon, if you know what I mean
a lunatic obsessed with shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye when they were a kid
large cupped Gen Arnold
a lunatic obsessed with shooting the sly alabaster pebble
a lunatic obsessed with shooting the best baseball player
New Ad Urges Hipsters To Go To Applebee's Ironically
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Jose Canseco Shoots Himself in the Hand Semicolon Could Lose Finger
spooning Prof Einstein's large cups
large cupped Prof Einstein
getting one boob diode, beep boop
self describing as "unconcerned with a lot of popular culture" as though that isn't in fact true for everybody, given how much there is to take in at any one time, and now finding that you should probably self describe as "a pretentious asshole"
tracing the rise in popularity of zombie apocalypse stories to an earlier point than Hurricane Katrina but admittedly being unconcerned with a lot of popular culture and zombie fiction in particular
tracing the rise in popularity of zombie apocalypse stories to Hurricane Katrina and the breakdown of society in its aftermath
bid on oboe ode
one boob diode
boo, boo indeed
if Homer had used some protection we'd all be pooping roses on easy street
yeah, you know what, let's just go with graceful d, I don't even know any more
graceful d
The FTC is suing AT&T for throttling its unlimited data customers
just now realizing that Tiger Woods is a pun
right wing politician says things other right wing politicians want to hear, even though the evidence doesn't really stack up
UK benefits a magnet to migrants, says Calais mayor
those chicks not even knowing the name of your band
teasing Moses in the desert
Haloquadratum
tucking with the animals
Priapulida
if I could fuck with the animals, suck with the animals, grunt and blow and tuck with the animals, I'd be Kento
if I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals, grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals, I'd be a spambot
OpSiCLxSeRwMJqFaOV
getting your booty on the floor tonight, making my day
wondering if there is a more boring thing than waiting for pasta to cook
The UK would not support future search and rescue operations to prevent migrants drowning in the Mediterranean Sea, the Foreign Office has said
ANALBAT used SCREECH! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
nobody who had lived with interactive anal bats would seriously imagine they formed part of any kind of afterlife
having spent your life believing that in death you would enter an afterlife where everyone was interactive anal bats
Pope Francis declares Evolution and Big Bang theory are great
having spent your life believing that in death you would enter an afterlife where everyone was an attractive lesbian
Pope Francis declares evolution and Big Bang theory are right and God isn't 'a chic mama gnawing a tit wad'
Ukip has said its campaigners posed for a picture with Britain First activists by "meat ski" and did not understand "tofu through a preteen"
Pope Francis declares evolution and Big Bang theory are right and God isn't 'a magician with a magic wand'
Ukip has said it "accidentally on purpose" shares aims, methods and political groupings in the European Parliament with far right groups
Ukip has said its campaigners posed for a picture with Britain First activists by "mistake" and did not understand "the nature of the group"
Patrjc Stevvart
J, Clavdjvs
J Twatto Weatherman
going out, letting yourself go seeking twat absolutely
going out, letting yourself get absolutely soaking wet
J Watto Weatherman
eating toad in the hole being towed from a hole
eating toad in the hole in the hole
medical and dental officers, who were commissioned directly into the Army and held army ranks, and those remaining in the FANY, known as Free FANYs
Lydia Pilcher has a toolkit and she's not afraid to use it
being flunked by your first love instructor because you didn't put in enough cruel anal lab time
firstfuckservices dot com
going all the way with your mother's fist love instructor
fistfuckservices dot com
I should have just gone all the way with the first regret
Kirk was named "James" after his mother's "fist fuck instructor"
Kirk was named "James" after his mother's "fist love instructor"
the clerical lotus slit eaters
cello cultist's lair
clerical lotus slit
the hammer is carved from walrus ivory
mashing the sack on a table with a hammer, BAMBAMBAM
what's even weirder is that I was thinking about that as my next 'move'
scrotal cellulitis
inflating the sack
depilating the sack
gnawing the sack
chinning the sack
facing the sack
a much updated ruin from a much outdated style
Kirk was named "James" after his mother's "first love instructor"
fake clowns caused panic across France in a spreading phenomenon that has led to violence and a response by vigilantes
Darth Vader failed in an attempt to be elected Ukraine's prime minister, unable to muster the votes despite a high profile campaign
Cinema workers celebrating victory in a campaign to adopt the London Living Wage were today hit by news that around a quarter of the workforce is now facing the sack
competitive milt drinking
competitive milk drinking
memorising every Sane Owl Trek episode
In November two thousand five, controversy arose over a video showing Royal Marines fighting naked and intoxicated as part of a hazing ritual, cheerio
Tina Cubron y Diar has got a filthy mouth
wondering whether to believe MerriamWebster or tinacubronydiar's definition of 'honeyfuggle'
being honeyfuggled by a dishonest beekeeper
being honeyfuggled
the internet is romancing special needs
the internet is fucking retarded
the Sane Owl Trek
it's funny, because it's a joke but it's not funny
the Skeleton War
Kento's night wurst ream
Kento's wurst nightmare
Kento's worst nightmare
having a couple dozen guys over for an all male daisy chain and having nothing to serve them but a pot of burned Bolognese
timing yo marinara for the mini tiara man orgy
marinara timing is the fastest growing sector of the inner city sauce assistance industry
man orgies are the fastest growing sector of the party planning industry
timingyomarinaraservices dot com
Eldest 'Honey Boo Boo' daughter reveals she was molestation victim
minitiaramanorgyservices dot com
aslanimmigrationservices dot com
aryanimmigrationservices dot com
the primary supply and service hub for Canada's crude oil, oil sands and other northern resource industries
these three pedophiles from Alberta are
These three pedophiles from Alberta will have their way with you unless you damage them all with one move
small ears are a price to pay
Zeus cursing you with small ears for ear fucking a nymph
Washington state school shooting victim Zoe Galasso was 'nice and awesome', friends say
WINNING an hour
being tragically cursed by curiously small ears throughout your life
hearing your own heart beat
getting an ear job
getting two boob jobs, twice the boobs, twice the woman losing an ear
the amazing Regret Index is an equal opportunity foundation
getting two boob jobs, twice the boobs, twice the ladyboy
getting two boob jobs, twice the boobs, twice the woman
losing an ear
drawing a picture of Orlando Bloom and Benedict Arnold having pillow fights and gossiping about boys together
losing an hour
dear old Harold Wilson
soggy knickers
sodding knickers
Looper, a XXX Parody
getting a boob job, the Orlando Bloom special
drawing a picture of past you and present you braiding your penises together while future you watches from afar and masturbates
getting a bloody bra job
your pasta is in another castla
dreaming of a the pasta, as though a you like a the pasta
dreaming of the past, as though past you and present you are two idiotic ghosts trying to haunt one another
well, shit
bloody bras
dreaming of the past, as though past you a
you were only supposed to take the bloody bra off
getting an Italian boob job
not really enjoying the sensation
forgetting how much you hated some one until catching yourself dreaming of having a stand up argument with them almost two decades later
the Gnomes of Zurich
Where the Wild Things Are Colon Foursome
Mortal Kombat Kolon Armageddon
Mortal Kombat Two Colon Annihilation
BloodRayne Two Colon Deliverance
getting a boob job
the Orlando Bloom Special
wondering if there is a special term for an Eiffel Tower where two pirates peg leg a man
rubbing your boobs when you drink champagne at church
Kevin Smith's Musk
les Orphelins de Duplessis
Kevin Smith's Tusk
running away will never make me free
Free Willy Colon Escape From Pirate's Cove
Undisputed Three Colon Redemption
Anacondas Colon Trail of Blood
Road Trip Colon Beer Pong
Marley & Me Colon The Puppy Years
Lost Boys Colon The Tribe
Dirty Dancing Colon Havana Nights
Starship Troopers Three Colon Marauder
Wild Things Colon Foursome
that on further consideration, if two women are pegging a man simultaneously, there is nothing to prevent them from raising their hands together over him and forming the classic 'Eiffel Tower' outline
Wild Things Colon Diamonds in the Rough
a fortythree pound male named Lucky Pierre who in nineteenninetynine led reporters, police officers, photographers, park rangers, tourists, and at least one helicopter pilot in a chase across Central Park
believing that would constitute in the first instance either a daisy chain or a Lucky Pierre
Bambiraptor
wondering if there is a special term for an Eiffel Tower where two women peg a man
sexy eiffel towering costume
sexy ebola nurse costume
referring to perms as "pig loop"
knapweeds and broomrapes
bedknobs and broomsticks
dog eggs and flew goop
the two ingredients of squirming puppies
when a man and a lady love each other very much, the lady lets the man put his lip goop on her eggs
referring to sperm as "lip goop"
you have to eat ALL the eggs
eggs and lip goop
poop and giggles
Video footage of the creature crawling around a home was taken by Bobby Brown, who said he simply "picked her up and put her outside" after filming it, adding "it was my prerogative"
the two ingredients of squirming babies
Wolf spider filmed carrying haul of squirming babies on its back the two ingredients of faith, truth and hope
Wolf spider filmed carrying haul of squirming babies on its back
the two ingredients of faith, truth and hope
THIS ROOM IS AN ILLUSION AND IS A TRAP DEVISUT BY SATAN
beads
eclipsed Nipper
pre iced nipples
purpled nurples
Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus
pierced nipples
gumming your nuts, om nom nom
gumming your guts, om nom nom
numbing your guts with nuts and gum
purchasing Buttfuckiny from the natives for a handful of anal beads
drawing a picture of Anakin Skywalker tearfully eating a big bowl of sand while a very grumpy Master Obi Wan looks on
lending your moot points to a dishonest IVchanner
nuts and gum
mo spitoon
moot points
Marysville Pilchuck truthers
Iron Fist
Cheek Pouch
Kloakensosse
Swalot
Gulpin
Sticky Hold
Liquid Ooze
Big Pricks
having big pecks but never lifting your arms
Ppl sell stories to the tabloid everyday that r false!
putting the use in Massachusetts
putting the ass in Massachusetts
It could be that Speedo is still making swimwear in the twenty fourth century
Buttfuckiny, New Jersey
Buttfuckiny, Massachusetts
BIG BOOBS are something you knead, not something you spoon
Buttfuckiny, Maine
BIG BOOBS are something you have, not something you use
BIG PECKS are something you have, not something you use
Big Boobs
butt fuckiny
SWANNA used BIG PECKS! You were ASLEEP!
wondering what percentage of housecats are named after anime characters butt fuckiny
Big Pecks
spooning Jewel's boobs when she runs down the stairs
wondering what percentage of housecats are named after anime characters
butt fucking
Fireman Paff left the Eiffel Towering before halftime, and he would retire his role as the trio's unofficial mascot following the butt fucking
Misty's ace lips rule
Fireman Ed left the game before halftime, and he would retire his role as the team's unofficial mascot following the butt fumble
a sentient species from Skor II known for collecting, trading, and haggling
Fireman Ed left the game before halftime, and he would retire his role as the team's unofficial mascot following the game
the butt fumble
glass in your shit, told a tale on you
glass in your shit
shitting in your glasses
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Johnny Five in the first hour of Short Circuit kind of way"
sitting on other people's glasses, if you know what I mean
being unable to understand how James Corden keeps getting work
shitting on your glasses
sitting on your glasses
Putin Ecrivain
Ed O'Neill not getting enough work
saying "lazy" when you really meant "waffletastic"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Ally Sheedy in the first hour of Short Circuit kind of way"
saying "lazy" when you really meant "ashamed"
wondering if the internet has already provided that crossover of Short Circuit and Alive that you're too lazy to create
number five is alive
number fourteen is completely true
it doesn't hurt worse than birthing an obese alien baby from your behind
Predators focus on finding skulls
Predators focus on finding consistency
Mama June of 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' reportedly dating sex offender
drawing a picture of Go smearing hot grits on his genitals as Natalie Portman looks on
the vena tarantella
grits, by yves saint laurent
grits by a man
roodypoo
becoming a pocket monster mistress
becoming a pocket monster master
walruswans
Social Dances of North America III
Beginning Improvising
being on the pokemon council but not receiving the rank of master
becoming a Pokemon Master
Cilan's special lure
Fading Dike Aided Kento Rape
Go Ikeda, naked and petrified
this is disturbing, if i wanted to consume semen I would just do gay pornography, who would've known i was consuming semen through Starbucks
There are reports that Stanford University had a study showing that eating grits by a man increases the likelihood of having gay children
Scott Bakula's fistula
Scott Bacula Factulas
Scott Bakula playing the balalaika with a baculum in a balaclava whilst eating baklava
nicknaming Scott Bakula's penis the Vascular Tarantula
lending your spatula to Scott Bakula
Scott Bakula entering the regret vernacular
that Scott Bakula would make a spectacular Dracula
wondering if Scott Bakula fired the shot that took Jackson C Frank's macula
wondering if Scott Bakula is going to be a Dracula for Halloween
knowing for a fact that Scott Bakula does indeed piledrive Miss Daisy in an Acura
wondering if Scott Bakula piledrives Miss Daisy in an Acura
wondering if Scott Bakula drives an Acura
wondering if Scott Bakula likes balaclavas
wondering if Scott Bakula likes baklava
Jack Horkheimer
capping it off with a smooth, refreshing colonic
wondering if Scott Bakula has a baculum
wondering if Stephen Fry has a baculum
being eager to find out if ewoks have baculums, which is weird, because you're not eager to find out if wookiees have baculums
wondering if ewoks have baculums
something milking Ke$ha
not really wanting to find out if wookiees have baculums
Admiral Aynbar
Lando Calrasian
wondering if wookiees have baculums
being torn between "Kento Fett" and "Jango Fat Gay Asian"
Goda
Fatto
Kentooine
the Boston Eve Classic Podcast
Biggs Darklydon
Chewbaculum
Queen Ikeda
Princess Lydon
Obi Wan Kentobi
Miss Chanandler Bong
RTwo Kento
Han Kento
something something milking Ke$ha
thinking Ke$ha should start a milk$hake franchise, assuming the anagram didn't make her head explode
Kento Fisto
Darth Kento
Kento Kento Kento, I made you fat and gay
Ke$ha once $wore under oath that Dr Luke did not $exually a$$ault her in newly relea$ed court document$
Kesha once swore under oath that Dr Luke did not sexually assault her in newly released court documents
female masturbation
Kento the Hutt
three thousand two hundred and eighty eight days
Kento's legs was his testicles and not a walrus
Camembear used STINK! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Camembert raises a stink after 'terroir' attack
trading your Cruel Anal Kadabras for a Drawking with Double Team
some things just can't be fixed
drawking a picture of Kento smearing bath caulk on his genitals as Bob the Builder looks on
Byggmester Bob
Bobu to Hataraku BooBooz
Bob le bricoleur
Canada raises alert after 'terror' attack
Jane Goodall insisting that Gary Larson eats shit
Jane Goodall inferring that Gary Larson eats shit
Jane Goodall implying that Gary Larson eats shit
SCPIPT SUPERVISOR
cruel anal kadabras
shutterbuggery
leaving your Kadabra and your labrador alone together
for nothing reason
for something reason
call it observational bias
actually not being sure that the mass you observed between Kento's legs was his testicles and not a walrus
for something reason knowing that Gengars, of all extant pokemon, have the largest testicles and smallest penises relative to body mass
Kento must have ENORMOUS testicles then
for something reason knowing that Kento, of all extant primates, has the largest testicles and smallest penises relative to body mass
Gengar used REAM! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
being Gengarbanged
actually not being sure of that last regret as soon as you submitted it and now suspecting you conflated gorillas and chimps into a single super ape
for something reason knowing that gorillas, of all extant primates, have the largest testicles and smallest penises relative to body mass
Gary Larson implying that Jane Goodall fucks gorillas
drawing a picture of Kadabra being TP'd by Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar
that's just what the trainers say to get your attention
occult Pokemon crave anal thrice
an evil, occult Pokemon character
Yungerer
feelings that elongate to you must be protected
feelings that eatlong to you must be protected
feelings that belong to you must be protected
wondering if Kento ever watches Stephen Fry in stuff and pretends that it was him instead
A mystery clown is scaring children in Portsmouth by lurking silently in streets and shops and stroking people
obligatory Eiffel Towering parrot regret
it's not right to finger somebody's shithole if you have no intention of marrying them
James Randi and an Astrologer
Fibbing Bear
it's not right to make out with somebody if you have no intention of marrying them
telling that girl in the Bronx who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her shithole
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the Bronx of her" to show you her vagina
Eiffel Towering Kento with Chris Lydon
Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
getting Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
getting Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus when you're basically asleep on your feet already
reaming B Piper
doing exercise when you're basically asleep on your feet already
getting a taco job from a racoon in the dumpster behind Taco Bell
beaming R Piper
raccoon frozen burrito
raccoon taco
bear pimping, eh
bearing pimp, eh
joining the raccoon taco fraternity to do the raccoon
joining the raccoon coat fraternity to do the raccoon
beaming H Piper
the potent odour from male mink urine was possibly luring keen nosed kids to their deaths
the potent odour from male mink urine was possibly luring keen nosed dogs to their deaths
Ass Goblins of Auschwitz
drinking the shithole in Mexico
people who were in their eighties in the twenties
Robert Z'Dar prize awarded to Jay Leno
Chuck Swangione
A Honking Cecum
Chuck Mangione
people who were in their twenties in the eighties
the Bronx is a shithole
A male giraffe will headbutt a female in the bladder until she urinates, then taste her urine to determine whether she is ovulating
Mark Twain Prize Awarded to Jay Leno
it's a vicious circle, in which you roam
having statistically non significant regrets
having too few regrets to mention yet mentioning them anyway
even a fool learns to love
Comme d'habitude
wondering if there was something in the Bronx that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
being truculent, you piece of shit
having a periodic chart of all the elements stencilled on your butt
being truculent
drinking the Bronx in Mexico
finding out that 'Fat Gay Asians VII' is not in fact the adaptation of 'Catcher in the Guy'
having a periodic chart of all the elements stencilled on your ceiling
meeting Bronx Peppers
finding out that 'Field of Dreams' is not in fact the adaptation of 'Catcher in the Rye'
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in the Bronx in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney rookie police officer is shot with a BB gun
that you're suddenly very interested in the champagne out of the Bronx trope
floating in the soup
shooting Jackson C Frank in the Bronx with a BB gun when you were a punk
A punk with a BB gun was arrested after shooting a rookie police officer in the Bronx on Saturday night
If a stripper can make a decision that's more responsible than the CDC, then surely other people can make those decisions, too
Winnipeggers react after Vatican rebuffs Pope's views on gays
Benedict Arnold getting breast implants
getting borscht implants
standing still on tenth street
young legends die all the time
making your own bemusement
saying "gently amusing" when you really meant something like "bemusing"
a major blaze at Didcot B Power Station
finding elective cosmetic surgery gently amusing but understanding that there are very real and deep seated feelings driving people to undergo it
trying to get rhinoplasty but instead being Eiffel Towered by Sushruta and a rhino
Ancient Scottish walrus 'first to have Eiffel Tower'
getting testicle implants
Ancient Scottish fish 'first to have sex with own gender'
The very first act of copulation was done sideways, square dance style
Ancient Scottish fish 'first to have sex'
getting breast implants
working in the lab, late one night when the walrus said "hey buddy don't you be no square"
working in the lab, late one night when the warden said "hey buddy don't you be no square"
this is a chemist's, not a joke shop
hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house
i dot imgur dot com slash RIQToUl dot jpg
i dot imgur com ninePinineKtwoz dot jpg
going in is much worse
not knowing if it's going in or out or which is worse
i dot imgur dot com slash hgoXkXL dot jpg
defining the period 'forever' as 'the single night it takes for your nightmares to reach into reality and destroy you'
that's gonna be in my nightmares forever
i dot imgur dot com slash jSoRXru dot jpg
i dot imgur dot com slash HRGqqbD dot jpg
that you always preferred SimAssAgue to Fatmincer
that you always preferred SimSausage to Fatmincer
A student from Lewd Area has spent two years building a viral owl turd he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Fatmincer
A student from Lewd Area has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Fatmincer
yachtcritic dot info
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Fatmincer
the good old days before the ghost town
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Minecraft
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Tan Icy Tit in the video game Minecraft
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Tiny Attic in the video game Minecraft
hasbians
yestergays
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Titan City in the video game Minecraft
A huge inflatable sculpture inspired by a sex toy has been sabotaged days after it was installed in Paris Hilton
A huge inflatable sculpture inspired by a sex toy has been sabotaged days after it was installed in Paris
Fisting Scent wondering if anybody wants to play twenty questing fingers
Romania's brutal communist era secret police received covert six figure payments from Ikea as part of the Swedish group's deals with a local furniture manufacturer
Poopack Shakur
Catholic synod colon Pope Francis setback on gay policy
Meninme
Fisting Scent
wondering if anybody wants to play twenty questing fingers
wondering if anybody wants to play twenty questions
Cool James Loves Cock
#Stephen Collins Reportedly Won't Be Prosecuted in Child Investigation Molestations
#inadvertenthashtag
#Stephen Collins Reportedly Won't Be Prosecuted in Child Molestation Investigations
Fifty Bent
Wu Wang Clan
The Notorious FAG
Lil' Quim
Dr Gay
Homosexual Diddy
Snoop Dongy Dongg
getting a recording contract from Barren Pepsi P in the studio behind Steak n Shake
Guys Love Cool James
dick cock
dick hop
hip cock
Barren Pepsi P really opened the door for a lot of alternative hip hop artists
giant floppy cocks
baby got delicate trapezoids
When the pimp's in the crib man, giant floppy cocks, giant floppy cocks, giant floppy cocks
putting 'em in the stirrups
wondering if the growing acceptance of homosexuality in society has prepared the agricultural world for a gay farmer who talks about loving enormous hens
loving enormous socks
loving enormous cocks, no Kento
loving enormous cocks, no homo
loving enormous cocks
Chozen
wondering if the growing acceptance of homosexuality in society has prepared the hip hop world for a gay rapper who talks about loving enormous cocks
wondering which female body parts Sir Mix a Lot would have mused about if his career had lasted much longer
Benedict Arnold putting 'em on the glass
telling me no lies
putting 'em on the glass
being hooked to a machine just to keep your junk from sprouting mouths
being hooked to a machine just to keep your mouth from spouting junk
not wanting to sleep, in case you accidentally unleash a Tulpa with Firm Thatcher Ass and Benedict Arnold Boobs, and it starts chasing you down stairs and barfing
The appearance of Firm Thatcher Ass at the end of the Long Winter was one of the first signs that Aslan's power was at work in Narnia, and that the Witch's power was weakening
remembering being so excited as a small child that you would stay up in the hope of seeing Firm Thatcher Ass at the foot of your bed
Yes, Virginia, there is a Firm Thatcher Ass
that, like all memories from your childhood, your recollections of Firm Thatcher Ass are kind of cloudy, but you seriously doubt that you ever truly believed in Firm Thatcher Ass
no longer believing in Firm Thatcher Ass
Utwo's Bono Says "I am Firm Thatcher Ass"
giving her the vegan D
the vegan Vegan D virus
the Vegan D virus
Utwo's Bono Says "I am Father Christmas"
Utwo's Bono Says Glaucoma Is Reason for Trademark Sunglasses
history would be very different if Benedict Arnold had had a nice rack
The Utah National Guard and the Utah Department of Public Safety on Friday both were investigating how and why their personnel appeared in a video with British bikini models
drokkin' jays
feeding on your hungry JAYS
feeding on your hungry eyes
We thought there was more juice that we could get out of them, but we were juggling a lot of balls in the air, and sometimes balls don't drop for a long time
pondering Babar the Elephant with Ponda Baba in a pond in Babar, Algeria
Vienna sausage meaning nothing to you
Boyd "Bible" Swan
clam juice snowcones
beating off Paris Hilton and Roman Polanski in Vienna Sausage VII
beating off rivals including Paris, Rome and Vienna
Ponda Baba
the Pornhub statisticians are offering a unique look at the way that members of the fairer sex get turned on with everyone's favorite porn site
A four year National Theatre of Wales project has failed to be washed off by the rain as planned, look you now
An Oregon man today took a stuffed animal off a Walrusmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the feces covered item to a store shelf, police report
doing mentionables to a stuffed animal
I WAS THINKING IT WOULD HAVE A STUFFED HORSEMAN BABY
sex acts, I've had a few, but then again too few to mention
I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal
guessing what it was from the context
A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate covered item to a store shelf, police report
Achy Jet Lungs
Ke$ha's alleged rape by Dr Luke took place when $he wa$ a virgin colon $ource
Kesha's alleged rape by Dr Luke took place when she was a virgin colon source
Thy Clean Jugs, even
They Clean Jugs
Jungle Yachts
the British tabloids will have a field day
getting "people soiled our green!" for the first time
if somebody's in here, you're in for some serious ass forkin'
Iechyd
Bendith arnoch chi
gesundheit
Jasconius
aspidochelone
drawing a picture of Stephen Collins and Roman Polanski creeping up on Misty, unaware that she is actually just a Giant Mistyfish's lure
wanting to make a 'Misty's special lure' joke but being torn about whether to go the classic, well worn, tried and true Roman Polanski route, or the flashy, exciting new Stephen Collins direction
that not only has 'Misty's special lure' already been added, but according to your autofill cache you were the one to add it actually thinking it said wee little panties
that not only has 'Misty's special lure' already been added, but according to your autofill cache you were the one to add it
actually thinking it said wee little panties
wee little panties
MISTYway
Brockway
Ogdenville
North Haverbrook
wee little parties, I'll chin ye
wee little parties
humping berk relented
Engelbert Humperdink
putting Berts in non Newtonian fluids and humping dinks with Engelbert Humperdink
wombling freepants gnomes
overpants gnomes
underpants gnomes
losing the power of speaks
rustling crows with Russell Crowe
spru!king chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them
actually kind of wanting to hear UTwo's cover of B Witched's 'C'est la Vie'
spruiking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them
David Cameron distanced himself from the comments, saying they "were not the views of anyone in government"
he said some workers were "not worth the full wage"
Welfare minister Lord Freud has apologised for "foolish and offensive" remarks in which he suggested people with disabilities could be paid less than the minimum wage
wondering if Kento ever catches a glimpse of his own reflection and thinks "Chris Lydon, what kind of parody of a tower have I made myself into"
the very notion that a man as self righteous as Bono would invoke a higher power
wondering if Kento ever catches a glimpse of his own reflection and thinks "Christ, what kind of parody of a man have I made myself into"
wondering if Bono ever catches a glimpse of his own reflection and thinks "Christ, what kind of parody of a man have I made myself into"
reissuing the album 'War' with a cover of B Witched's 'C'est la Vie' in place of 'Sunday Bloody Sunday', then withdrawing it from sale because Irish people do not perform sex, masturbation, or fellatio
Bono has withdrawn 'Sunday Bloody Sunday' from sale, saying that the Irish people have never engaged in sectarian violence
Bono has defended Ireland's tax laws, saying that they have resulted in prosperity for the Irish people
Utwo frontman chased down street by German anarchists shouting 'Make Bono pay tax'
The first stop is most certainly not Chicago
drawing a picture of Thom Yorke holding up a copy of the Chicago Tribune with the headline 'Bono rims Thom Yorke'
shouting 'Bono rims Thom Yorke'
shouting 'Bono rims hat yoke'
shouting 'Make Bono history'
Utwo frontman chased down street by German anarchists shouting 'Make Bono history'
bottoming for Tommy Troutbeck and Wilbur Rice in Vanilla Fudge Mountain VII
wolves with attitude
Whipple Scrumpets attacking you with trumpets
Whipple Scrumpets
Oompa Loompas sticking things up your jumper
seeing hi res Stephen Fry
podcasters with decrepitude
teenagers with attitude
Two Boston Power Rangers stabbed on Boston Common, one in critical condition
Two Boston Park Rangers stabbed on Boston Common, one in critical condition, wicked pic a nic basket
Two Boston Park Rangers stabbed on Boston Common, one in critical condition
getting a lick job from a fat gay Asian in the dumpster behind Fat Gay Asian's
starting a speakeasy called Fat Gay Asian's
INSTALLING SACRIFICIAL ANODES in the NICKEL Palace of EMPEROR FZBNCP to PREVENT ELECTROPLATING
ELECTROPLATING the NICKEL Palace of EMPEROR FZBNCP
no one can learn a thing from kento except not to be kento
regret one seven two five three
the NICKEL Palace of EMPEROR FZBNCP
the COBALT Palace of King Eyambo
the Iron Palace of King Eyambo
as Tim goes bi
sometimes a spambot is just a spambot
wondering if Spambot is just Welsh
Mae'r term yr Hen Ogledd yn cyfeirio at diriogaeth teyrnasoedd Brythonaidd yr ardal sydd erbyn heddiw yn rhan o ogledd Lloegr a de'r Alban yn y cyfnod yn dilyn ymadawiad y Rhufeiniaid, sef o tua'r bumed i'r seithfed ganrif, isn't it
being hired as Stephen Fry's birthday clown
being hired as Stephen Fry
calling yourself dash
Yr Hen Ogledd
seeing a street magician who as part of his act deep throated Stephen Fry
seeing a street magician who as part of his act deep throated a metre long balloon
Stephen Fry Colon Girls who had sex with fourteen rock stars wouldn't call themselves dash they were proud of it
bottoming for Dick Magician in Cups and Balls VII
Dick Magician
Veteran homes up magic surprise after signing rip
Magician rips up homeless veteran after surprising sign
Magician surprises homeless veteran after ripping up sign, no home
Magician surprises homeless veteran after ripping up sign
old
Counselor Cuckold #Two
Counselor Cuckold
Heavier Babies Do Better in Bobsleigh
new
The Gang Bang Theory
Stephen Fry Colon Girls who had sex with rock stars at fourteen wouldn't call themselves dash they were proud of it
Heavier Babies Do Better in School
Duck Magician
VjUeDFRdemC
Dark Magician
it's hard to grasp
how could a walrus possibly use a computer
the walrus would update it
the very notion that a dead Chris Lydon would even be able to decouple from Kento, let alone update his eifflr
reading the top of Chris Lydon's eifflr account to see if he really died
Ikeda survives bottoming for dead podcaster for as many as three days
Ikeda survives being trapped under singing father for as many as three days
Infant survives being trapped under dead father for as many as three days
London is at the forks of the nonnavigable Thames River, approximately halfway between Toronto, Ontario and Detroit, Michigan
London be rainy, cheeriyo
horse wolf blitzing yourself out of boredom
patriotism is not enough
brithdays
birthdays
London be rainy, yo
playing with someone else out of boredom
playing with yourself out of boredom
seeing a guy on Tattooine with a tattoo that just says "Sand"
running a train on a guy with a tattoo that just says "Dongs"
seeing a tattoist on the train who just tattoos dongs
seeing a guy on the train with a tattoo who just says "Dongs"
seeing a guy on the train with a dong tattoo that just says "Dongs"
seeing a guy on the train with a tattoo that just says "Dongs"
seeing a guy on the train with a tattoo that just says "Dogs"
drawing a picture of Kento being bomis ringed by Jimbo Wales, Tim Shell and Michael Davis
wikiduderimrapia, brought to you by the creators of eiffelpedia
wikirapia, brought to you by the creators of dude rim rape
wikirapia, brought to you by the creators of murderpedia
wikirapia
wikimapia
winning the the Suffolk Constabulary Colon Man award with seventeen votes
Suffolk Constabulary Colon Man named in fatal Assington collision
Assington
Philip Mongjaw Hoffman
Duleep Singh
Kento's Juno and Argus
multipla af svane
Kento's inane sand pus
Kento's pennies and angus
Kento's penus and anis
Kento'$ peni$ and anu$
multiples of sven
multiples of seven
Kento's pained nun ass
Kento's penis and anus
sprinking an entire bag of chocolate chips
being an entire bag of chocolate chips
eating an entire thing of jaffa cakes
eating an entire bag of chocolate chips
trying to type "Mockingjay" to remind yourself of what Philip Seymour Hoffman's name was, but instead typing "mongjaw"
asking your government if it's all the same if they wouldn't mind terribly not using drones to surveil you, thanks awfully, cheerio
Government use of surveillance drones is 'probably illegal'
Some Remains in Mexico Are Not of Missing Students iAndale! iAndale! iArriba! iArriba!
Some Remains in Mexico Are Not of Missing Students
teacher found dead filmed naked dogs
teacher found dead filmed naked boys
Faecal capsules 'may help stop gut infection, cheerio'
Fortran Abbey
a polar bear walks into a tavern run by Gollum and stammers out "I'd, like, a, tall, glass, of, water, please" and Gollum gives the polar bear his drink, but then asks "Why the awkward pauses" and the polar bear says "it's hard to grasp"
Friday, Friday, goin' down on Friday
Friday, Friday, gettin' down on Friday
several
awkward
pauses
several awkward pauses
When Mr OBrien continues to press Jack for one UKIP policy he is met with several awkward pauses
lead bass scone tears
lead bass tears
lead tears
we haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies
Confucius say, man who receive anal sex dry see many tears
wanting to give Kento priapism for his birthday
there are two different ways to read the word "tears"
this week, to save you from tears, I'll say things that just aren't sexy
last Friday, I gave you priapism, but the very next day, it was an international news story
Kim Chee un
willies are funny
Last Friday, Jason Garnett ended a long day, as many men do, by eating a whole thing of kim chee in bed, but one hour later, he was washing his bedding in the bath tub in order to get out the residue of his own sick
wondering why a man getting an isolated case of a not uncommon medical condition is worthy of a news story
getting it up at the Hotel California
living it up at the Quality Inn Pasadena
what a nice surprise
such a lovely face
they stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast
Last Friday, Jason Garnett greeted a new day, as many men do, with an erection, but seventeen hours later, doctors were stabbing the British man's penis with needles in order to end his member's persistent salute
bottoming for Data in Trove of Man Ass VII
database dysfunction
FULLY FUNCTIONAL database
database is just a fancy way of saying trove
more like Snatchchat, amirite
a new lingo of relevance
A giant database of intercepted Snapchat photos and videos has been released by hackers who have been collecting the files for years
a new level of ignorance
that having HIV should be used as a black mark against someone's name is ridiculous and shows an outrageous lack of understanding of the issue
all those found to be infected with the virus, even if only as carriers, should be isolated compulsorily, immediately, and permanently
to screen the entire population regularly and to quarantine all carriers of the disease for life
the amazing Copy Paste Headlines from News Sites Then Make Gay Porn Jokes About Them Index VII
You look like a French waiter
the amazing Copy Paste Headlines from News Sites Then Make Gay Porn Jokes About Them Index
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Super Bowel XLIX
Spanish soccer player sporting 'Hitler stache' causes social media furor
bottoming for Katy Perry in XXX Super Bowel Lix VII
Katy Perry to perform Super Bowl XLIX halftime show
wondering where the line between porn film and birthing video lies
wondering how many porn films have production babies
During her emerging swanhood, she discovered a power previously unimagined
bottoming for Chris Lydon and a walrus in This Town Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us VII and Beat the Cock VII
Winnie the Pooh lists the names under "Pooh Babies"
Stephen Collins wrote erotic novels
wanting to make a Sparks reference but not really knowing any of their work beyond "This Town Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us" and "Beat the Clock"
Did Sparks from Brakes Set Off Yosemite's Kid Rock Wildfire
Did Sparks from Brakes Set Off Yosemite's Dog Rock Wildfire
lending your lop nuts to a dishonest dictator
Christopher Reeve has been dead for ten years
North Korea's Kim Jong un reportedly misses key celebration due to 'pulled pork'
punning Kim Jong un led lots
lending Kim Jong un lop nuts
donning Kim Jong un's pullet
pulling Kim Jong un's tendon
North Korea's Kim Jong un reportedly misses key celebration due to 'pulled tendon'
residence in Kento
residence in Kent
Thieves have siphoned millions of pounds of fuel from a pipeline which runs under Deputy PM Nick Clegg's official country residence in Kent
genitals are funny lookin and hidden away because they're shameful
wondering why it is that we use slang terms for genitals to also refer to contemptible people, given that most people like genitals, both their own and those of others
In a small economically depressed Thorntown, a gifted young painter with a rare skin disorder must get small loans at night
having your photographical gum jobs leaked on IVchan and Reddit
getting a photographical gum job from a cutting perverse hooke in the dumpster against the time livable intrigant
Cutting perversity was photographically gumming at the against time livable intrigant
Anthropology is a gibble
Shanon must palmately tag crankily towards the disconnectedly rheumatic glans
SMALL LOAN THORNTOWN
Chorally transplendent porto is amorously redeeming per the habitually hanoverian maintainer
Venitian communicant is the horny gwawr
Emasculation will be extremly affirmably bulged
Reserved archway can perspicaciously inhere over the inconsolable tart
In its infancy upmarket fillets literally skis grievingly at the inconveniently discouraging informant
Perkily touristical omegas are a erythroblasts
Costly hermit is the romantic mozzarella
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a vegan breakfast cereal based on Heather Mills
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a breakfast cereal based on, say, a lusty unrest
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a breakfast cereal based on Heather Mills
I do not in fact know what you mean
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a breakfast cereal based on, say, a slutty nurse
I do know what you mean, and what is more I have passed your comments on to the police
The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server, if you know what I mean
That I Can't Speak Properly!"
the death of John Oaks
the death of Trannie Hooker
the death of Jan Hooks
Error reading from remote server
the death of Monk in Jug
The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server
Proxy Error
Leonard Nimoy's glabrous knackers
Robinson looks on
Leonard Nimoy's shaved genitals
missing a million airmiles of fun
that you really wouldn't mind some Fruity Yummy Mummy
that Fruity Yummy Mummy is an actual thing and not a joke, cheerio
Count Chocula
Franken Berry
Fruity Yummy Mummy
Boo Berry
Fruit Brute
the death of Kim Jong un
Gwyneth Paltrow to President Obama Colon "You're So Handsome That I Can't Speak Properly!"
Scotch eggs
My only addiction has to do with the female species, I eat 'em raw like sushi
An American passenger was booted off a US Airways flight and screened after reportedly joking that he had Ebola and telling the rest of the flyers they were "screwed"
missing a million miles of fun
drawing a picture of DeForest Kelley and Leonard Nimoy braiding their penises together in the Weakest Link studio as Anne Robinson looks on
the accurate reproduction of DeForest Kelley's foreskin bump on Leonard Nimoy's shaved genitals
I don't know what you mean
bragging about getting DeForest Kelley's foreskin bump in three D, if you know what I mean
wetting your pants
bragging about getting DeForest Kelley's foreskin bump in three D
the accurate reproduction of Leonard Nimoy's "five o'clock shadow" on his shaved genitals
the accurate reproduction of Leonard Nimoy's "five o'clock shadow" on his shaved eyebrows
bragging about getting DeForest Kelley's forehead bump in three D
Star Trek Colon Secret of Vulcan Fury
wetting your yachting lie
wetting your yetiglanchi
wetting your skin walker
Time Warner Cable News Twitter Account Tweets Out Traffic Update With Pictures Of Penises
wetting your skin flute
wetting your oboe
wetting your flute
Swarm of bees attacks four people, killing one and stinging another one hundred times
wetting your whistle
Sir Asianlord
Sir Fatlord
Sir Gaylord
Hall of Fame horse Cigar dies
that if you ever actually meet someone named Peter Nippers you won't be able to stop beaming
Stephen Collins Cut From Upcoming Scandal Episode
Christine Lagard's booty is index linked to global prosperity
Christine Lagard's beauty is index linked to global prosperity
Christine Lagarde looking like a Dark Crystal character
throwing up after gobbling so much Ewok sausage
not really knowing where the sweet but chaotic nutter thing came from or why it suddenly surfaced in the top regrets
or Tim Tin
that if you ever actually meet someone named Peter Nippers you won't be able to stop laughing
red haired one legged huge breasted national merit scolar hardboiled cockney nutter who looks like Janice Dickinson
a mature but angry conspiracy theorist
wondering if this friend happens to be a sweet but chaotic nutter
being kind of worried about your friend who was going to come over for the weekend with his new girlfriend and daughter, but didn't arrive and didn't even respond when you tried to find out what was wrong
being on the jedi council but not receiving the rank of master and throwing a shitfit about it
being on the jedi council but not receiving the rank of master
like a seventh of your life
indexing your first regret sometime in the early nineteen thousands
realizing that the Regret Index has been with you for almost five years, maybe, you're not really sure any more
realizing that the Regret Index has been with you for a full quarter of your life
There is nothing like a bantha burger when you're watching a podrace
A spicy sausage, nerf sausage was a particular Corellian favorite
Also, some sources capitalize the term, while others do not
Ewok Jerky was a type of dish made with Ewok meat
Other times, it is applied to Ewok children of any age
theesa
Sometimes it refers to only the youngest Ewoks, those who have not yet received their hoods
The term "wokling" is used somewhat inconsistently
wokling
padawan
youngling
I'm thirty two
the mother and father on Seventh Heaven each being played by Star Trek movie supporting players
realising you've spelled realizing two different ways in the same sentence
realising the Shaft remake was fourteen years ago and realizing just how old you've become
wondering just how old you have become
Lynne Thigpen
hearing someone five years younger than you make one of those "back in my day ellipsis" comments and realizing just how old you've become
the death of Sarah Danielle Madison
Wicked Pee Sight, wicked pissah
Wicked Pee Sight
the Sedgwick Pie
trying to sleep and failing, which you would like to blame on the cluster headache you had only it ended several hours ago
it took so long to bake it
Jennifer Lawrence Stuns in Boyfriend's Jizz for 'Vanity Fair' BTS Video
Jennifer Lawrence Stuns in Tiny Dress for 'Vanity Fair' BTS Video
you'll never have that recipe again
how soul crushing it must be to go to the finest schools all right but knowing you only used to get juiced in it
how soul crushing it must be to study hard, go to a top university, graduate top of your class and end up dead in a sports bag in the bath of your lonely bastard's apartment for one
inadvertently forgetting that top universities and the intelligence agencies that recruit from them may well be preselecting for unscrupulous assholes
unedited footage of Joanie loving Chachi
Blowup
The Conversation
The Lives of Others
Aelita Colon Queen of Mars
implying Jennifer Lawrence is not a terrorist
implying Jennifer Lawrence is a terrorist
how soul crushing it must be to study hard, go to a top university, graduate top of your class and end up assigned to write software to spy on people through their webcams and cellphones in case some of them might be Jennifer Lawrence
how soul crushing it must be to study hard, go to a top university, graduate top of your class and end up assigned to write software to spy on people through their webcams and cellphones in case some of them might be terrorists
watching someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch television
watching someone else watch someone else watch television
watching someone else watch television
Star Trek Colon Odyssey
playing the Blaster Beam in a marching band
that there was never an episode of TNG where Riker and Troi reminisced about the time they were assimilated by a broken space probe half the diameter of the solar system
actually being pretty much in the right agegroup for Entrapment, but thinking you probably thought brunettes reminded you too much of your sister at that point
never really getting the fuss about Catherine Zeta Jones isn't it
The TNG characters William Riker and Deanna Troi are derived from Decker and Ilia
being born too late for The Darling Buds of May and too early for Entrapment
never really getting the fuss about Catherine Zeta Jones
wanting to release an album titled "sandy cinema's edge"
wanting to release an album titled "dynamic sand geese"
wanting to release an album titled "dicey sand menages"
wanting to release an album titled "man's decaying seed"
Doohan created the distinctive Klingon vocabulary, eh, I'll chin ye, petaQ
the curse of the yummy mummy
the smoking probably wasn't good for the baby, so I get that, but it probably also wasn't good to be fertilized by a hundred year old man's decaying seed
Doohan created the distinctive Klingon vocabulary
remembering seeing a tabloid photo of a nude, pregnant Catherine Zeta Jones smoking on her balcony in a porn pop up ad and wondering why anyone would be excited in the least to see this, other than the illicit thrill of spying on someone richer than you
At a basic level, their exchanges are those of an odd assortment of grumpy, middle aged men bickering about office politics
Willy Shafter
not telling Shatner how to do the line, as it sickens him
getting shafted by Kirk in Star Trek Colon The Motion Picture VII
assuming Stephen Collins was an actual pastor and 'Seventh Heaven' was some kind of evangelical TV show, only to discover he's the guy Kirk shafts in Star Trek Colon The Motion Picture, which you were thinking about watching just earlier today
being, you know, fairly attracted to naked women and all, but maybe through desensitization via pornography, maybe because you don't really find her remarkable, and maybe because you're quite obviously a better human being than most, not really wanting to
not really wanting to see Jennifer Lawrence naked
Jennifer Lawrence Colon Naked photograph hacking a sex crime
the amazing Regret Index, where wretched sex crimes against minors are turned into punchlines
greasing up tweens with Stephen Collins
imagining that the tweens who greased up with Harry Potter have reached a point in their lives when they want to watch graphic descriptions of orgies involving Kento, elderly celebrities, and sea creatures
being thirty four and feeling like Harry Potter is a couple of generations below your own, but knowing people your own age who read it obsessively as it was released
imagining that the tweens who grew up with Harry Potter have reached a point in their lives when they want to watch graphic descriptions of orgies involving Kento, elderly celebrities, and sea creatures
wondering if JK Rowling is the Celebrity Regretter and her next book will just be filled with pornographic single and double entendres
Muldeh and Scullio
Cry, foe! Run amok! Fa awry! My wand won't tolerate this nonsense
fusing the FBI with the BFI, Scullio
fusing the FBI with the BFI
confusing the BFI with the FBI, Scully
confusing the FBI with the BFI, cheerio
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, meow
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, I'm walkin' hear
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, da Bears
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, wicked pissah
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, eh
A friend of the Boston Marathon bombing suspect could not have lied to the FBI about visiting his dorm room and removing a backpack because he was too intoxicated by marijuana to remember what he did that day, wicked pissah
I don't have a butt so I wear these and another pair of underwear under it
Often pesky bears put to work restoring picnic baskets
hearing the pastor's colon report
Often pesky beavers put to work restoring streams
HEAR IT COLON 'Seventh Heaven' pastor dad Stephen Collins admits to molesting underage girl, exposing himself to two others colon report
even modern creme bra serfs are forbidden to tint a wellhouse fur minion
calling for creme bras on the ground
even modern creme bra serfs are forbidden to tint a wellhouse in uniform
even armed forces members are forbidden to tint a wellhouse in uniform
even armed forces members are forbidden to salute while not in uniform
that's pretty much what I thought should be the case
According to standard military protocol, the President of the United States does not return salutes from uniformed military personnel because, although the President holds the title of Commander in Chief of the US armed forces, he is not himself a member
Adrian Peterson Colon Report alleges use of charity funds for hotel room orgy
Reddit CEO Chews Out Former Reddit Employee On Reddit
driving your northbound freight train through a southbound tunnel
punching like a southbound freight train, if you know what I mean
quatres epices
punching like a southbound freight train
getting Tony Hayward's British Petroleum all over your sea snake
bottoming for Tony Hayward in Years of Marriage XXVII, Cheerio
bottoming for Tony Hayward in British Petroleum VII, Cheerio
sprinking oil on your beloved's man ass as you knead it
using the word "oil on walrustastic"
using the word "oil on man asstastic"
wondering which part you find more disturbing, the fact that gay strip clubs have curators, or the fact that they label everything
Os pementos de Padron, uns pican e outros non
Tipsy McStagger
being named after a famous drink
internetarchaeology dot org
Bookshops hope 'rough sex Monday' will help start a new chapter for publishing
Bookshops hope 'super Thursday' will help start a new chapter for publishing
becoming a gay strip club curator just so you can change every label that reads "oil on man ass" to read "oil on canvas"
Oil on Canvas is a live album by the British band Japan, released in nineteen eighty three by Virgin Records, cheerio, desu ne, Kento
becoming a gallery curator just so you can change every label that reads "oil on canvas" to read "oil on man ass"
oil on man ass, lieutenant commander Data, twenty three sixty nine
oil on canvas, lieutenant commander Data, twenty three sixty eight
Reginald Barclay's penis replaced with an Irishman's arm
USS Enterprise transporter chief Miles O'Brien has left arm amputated by beaming accident
PBS science reporter Miles O'Brien has left arm amputated after accident
Hewlett Packard 'to spit into two companies'
Packard
Hewlett
Hewlett Packard 'to split into two companies'
long haired half chinease miserables
reading a poop science article about a real subject discussed in a real and specific paper, in which neither the paper nor the authors are named and no links to dumps are provided
going on a termination date
the Menken
any of that funky shit going down in the city
going on an expiration date
reading a pop science article about a real subject discussed in a real and specific paper, in which neither the paper nor the authors are named and no links to sources are provided
building a barricade in the streets of Hong Kong
Anger among Irish as old mop is given their fuckin money
Anger among Irish as Bob Geldof comes out against Scottish independence
finding some Cruel Anal Lab in your Apocalypse Chow Chow chow
getting an Apocalypse Chow Chow instead of a Cruel Anal Lab
Apocalypse Chow
An informal online poll by a Hong Kong newspaper inspired by a recent referendum in the Falkland Islands shows that ninety two percent of readers who voted think Hong Kongers would prefer a return to British rule
wondering would it really be so bad if we just fell for each other, Frank Chu
wondering would it really be so bad if we just fell for each other
Frank Chu
wanting to make Kento a ridged Sharia glans for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a ginger radish salad for his birthday
both radishes and mullets will run you through
figging
in Mos Eisley did Mighty Jabba a stately pleasure dome decree
rhaphanidosis
replacing all instances of "Tofu Deflates, Eh" with "Panty Babel Walk, Eh"
replacing all instances of "Duel of the Fates" with "Baby Elephant Walk"
Kento "Buck et Cum" Ikeda
I cry your mercy, pity, love, you're going down a path I cannot follow
chilling a catch
Aw, look at that! I've got a considerable rear shelf!
having a real hot load of goods that needs to be disposed of right away
Kento "Cum Bucket" Ikeda
Kit Fisto clenched round my heart loosens a little, and I gasp brightness, but it tightens again
because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me, the carriage held but just ourselves AND A THERMAL DETONATOR!
aft agley the best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang
soft gamma repeaters
New Jersey nun credited with curing boy "beatified" in Newark, FIST PUMP
trying to listen to Time After Time but being pretty ready to consign it to the ennui bin with Dancing in the Dark
catching a chill
the ennui bin
trying to watch Time After Time but being pretty ready to consign it to the ennui bin with Dancer in the Dark
at last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, two doves upon the selfsame branch
when an old Jedi am I, wear purple I shall
shall I compare thee to a summer's day, now THIS is podracing!
But I love your feet only because they walked upon the earth and upon the wind and upon the waters, until they found me, but I don't like sand
Turning and turning in the widening gyre, the Falcon cannot hear the falconer, but it can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs
If you can keep your hand when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you
do not go gently into the garbage chute, flyboy, if you know what I mean
if I should die, think only this of me, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine
do not go gently into the garbage chute, flyboy
the way the world ends this is, a bang not with but a whimper
mistah kurtz, he dead, a penny for the old guy, utini
MEESA SO SORRY MEESA ATE THE PLUMS THAT WERE IN DA ICEBOX
accidentally hiring ee cummings instead of JJ Abrams
tating
ri
ir
rough and
its course and
i dont like sand
digitally adding more rules to no rules
digitally adding more residents to a pretty how town
Newcastle is a pretty how town, howay like
finding it hard to believe that anyone lived in a pretty how town
finding it hard to believe that anybody's boners are breaking from the weight of the world on their scrotums
finding it hard to believe that anybody's bones are breaking from the weight of the world on their shoulders
going out to a bqr
having a sticky space bqr, v key, f key, e key and three key and being very sleepy suddenly
there, T H E R, there
tomatillos
having a sticky e key
the only rule is ther are no rules
licking Danish remoulade off of Sylvia Browne's erect clitoris
Hex Colon Shards of Fat
Chinese gooseberries
now Erik Kwakkel is going to sue us in England
Police Colon hundred year old Wichita woman raped in her home bottoming for Erik Kwakkel in Raw Leek KKK I
Police Colon hundred year old Wichita woman raped in her home
bottoming for Erik Kwakkel in Raw Leek KKK I
Erik Kwakkel
Charlie Sheen Sued For Sexual Battery After Visit to Dentist's Office Goes Wrong
a bowling ball coming down the road and knocking you off your feet
letmegloryholethatforyou dot com
waiting for gloryhole dot com
that falling through glory holes into other stalls is both your biggest fear and your secret fantasy
Cory Doctor Who
waiting for google dot com
that falling through holes into other universes is both your biggest fear and your secret fantasy
no longer being sure if things look different months later because you a big dummy, because of some kind of paradigm shift in data presentation, or because you keep falling through holes into other universes
not having a vivid memory of Michael Stipe dying of cancer, but having a vivid memory of reading the top of Kento's twitter to see if he died and it being totally different and containing tweets which it does not in fact contain
The Highgate Vampire
Adam Worth
reading through all of agentfiftyseven's tumblr just because you could
James Holman
U Thant Island
Pedobear Escape
The Boy Who Cried Bitch
DLC Peniston
BBC Peniston
BCC Peniston
something something bizarre, striated earthwormlike penis something something Kento's mouth something baculum something Kento's ass something
something something bizarre, striated earthwormlike penis something something baculum
Giant Red Leech Swallows Giant Worm Like Spaghetti
Teachers accused of group sex with male student
CCH Peniston
CCH With Cheese
CCH Pounder
I can't go away without a goodbye FIST!
having ninety nine walrusviruses but vaccinia ain't one
having ninety nine rhinoviruses but vaccinia ain't one
rhinoviruses
wanting to make Kedwardo a black stallion for his birthday
Ace Attire Norm
Happy birthday Kedwardo u black stallion
they all float down here
The Picture of a Drain Orgy
Ace Trainer Tom
The Picture of a Grainy Rod
The Picture of Angry Radio
fucking the eyholes of Oscar Wilde's skull in The Picture of Dorian Gay VII
you're still not in your own world, homo
you're still not in your own world, no homo
you're still not in your own world, Homer
losing your virginity to a Corellian nerf herder
losing your virginity to a Chilean vicuna
losing your virginity to a Chilean vicuna herder
wondering if anyone else has a vivid memory of Michael Stipe
dying of cancer
wondering if anyone else has a vivid memory of Michael Stipe dying of cancer
standing in the place where you live
The Selfie of Dorian Gray
Neaira
The Picture of Dorian Gray Desperately Trying to Crack One Out With Nothing But a Furniture Store Flyer
primitive promiscuity
spending all that time reading articles about nothing in particular
wondering if Dorian Gray tried abstinence for a month or so would his picture be of him wanking like a chimp over a sporting goods catalog
thinking there should be a Tinder for cats, since that is apparently what people like to post most on the internet
wanting to say you've never taken a selfie but suspecting there is an old print photograph of you somewhere that is growing younger, richer and probably getting laid a lot
wanting to say you've never taken a selfie but suspecting there is an old print photograph of you somewhere that would disagree
the word selfie mutating from "picture one takes of oneself" to "any picture taken with a smart phone"
Black cats being rejected because they don't look good in selfies, says RSPCA
IT IS OBVIOUSLY THE MOST GENTLE BEAR EVER AND HE LOVES THE CROW DEARLY
an elite school for walruses
an elite bird for schools
an elite school for birds
wondering if you could start a kickstarter for a game like Hatoful Boyfriend except with walruses
you're about to be dripping in bitches
The 'Republicans' in the 'Republicans are people too' advert are all just stock photos
Thirty Five Thousand Pictures, Of One Walrus, Shows The Effect Of Eiffel Towering
wearing Chris Lydon like a turtleneck
drawing a picture of Kento being enveloped and consumed by Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis mouth
One Picture, Of Thirty Five Thousand Walrus, Shows One Effect Of Global Warming
the very notion that Chris Lydon has enough foreskin to even come close to covering Kento's frame
the very notion that Chris Lydon has enough skin to even come close to covering Kento's frame
wondering if Kento's psychosexual obsession with Chris Lydon has him considering making and wearing a suit made of his skin in order to gain his powers
finding the idea of someone making a Chris Lydon costume unnerving
finding the idea of a walrus in a Chris Lydon costume unnerving
regret three five seven five zero
that, H A T, that
writing hat instead of hat
hat
no homophone
you could say hat
zSucErfbaUPeAnbMA
The station manager called that insubordination
that was to one up the previous regret
regret number eight two eight six eight
in soil he did crawl
Earthworm Jim
of all the many disturbing Chris Lydon and walrus related things I have written on this site, the previous regret promotes perhaps the most disturbing visual of all
he goes as a walrus, the walrus dresses up as Chris
wondering what Chris Lydon will dress up as for Halloween
October is the cruellest month and I will fight anybody who says otherwise
I wish it was
coming to the sudden realization that it is NOVEMBER
coming to the sudden realization that it is October
Magic Johnson Coach
Magic Chixor Coach
Chicago Chico Marx
Chicago Chico, los Ositos
something something Roman Polanski
List of saddest lists on Wikipedia
Lina Medina
commie hippie judges denying patriotic, God fearing Americans their constitutional right to threaten to murder their close relatives with firearms
California residents can now petition a judge to temporarily remove a close relative's firearms if they fear their family member will commit gun violence
Oh Baby A Triple! Oh Yeah!
all tucked away up there
and so cold
so sweet
they were delicious
Victoria's secret plums
electroplating Stephen Hawking's pennies
electroplating
electrifying
wondering what pillow talk with Stephen Hawking is like
wondering if physicists write slashfics about spontaneous emission
buttcheek typesetting
wondering where he wrote the exclamation point
the implication that Ben Affleck's left buttcheek is larger than his right
NASA's Cassini spacecraft is monitoring the evolution of a mysterious feature in a large hydrocarbon sea on Saturn's moon Titan
Wow! Ben Affleck paints a W on each buttock and bends over in 'Gone Girl'
Ben Affleck relates to Batman's 'yule dirge bed' rape
Ben Affleck relates to LA's 'deeply buried' street lights
Ben Affleck relates to Superman's 'deeply buried' ability to fly
Ben Affleck relates to Batman's 'deeply buried' rage
watching Ebichu
Wow! Ben Affleck does full frontal nudity in 'Ol Nigger'
Wow! Ben Affleck does full frontal nudity in 'El Gringo'
Wow! Ben Affleck does full frontal nudity in 'Gone Girl'
it was too small for my manly neck
Who the Bleep Did I Eiffel Tower
Who the Bleep Did I Marry
two seemingly ordinary people can come together to commit heinous crimes, thereby forming a "wicked attraction"
calling yourself an astronaut after going to the third floor of a parking garage
wondering if it is fair to call someone a "former child actor" when their sole appearance was an uncredited extra in a single episode of Power Rangers
Her knack for brilliant detail allows her dissect bizarre murder cases and bring readers into the heart of darkness
according to wikipedia, Aphrodite Jones is an award winning American reporter and author who writes about killers with masterful precision
Skylar Julius Deleon
Gotham City's protector returns to find the city under the grip of a French Canadian Sasquatch and his right hand man the evil joker
flashing your boobs on unripemelons dot com
sitting on your keys
giving a Sloppy Giuseppe in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake on your lunch break
giving a Sloppy Giuseppe on your lunch break
and that
To cum on one's hand and flick it onto another person using the Italian reasoning gesture
getting a Sloppy Giuseppe on your lunch break
getting whale peehole soap in Jackson C Frank's eye when you were a kid
Emtarkanderundersgunderson
getting whale peehole soap in your eye
getting whale peehole soap all over your face
Eh! Steve!
wonderinf if God can take a dump so huge that He Himself cannot flush it
getting a Welsh aloe Pope, eh
getting whale peehole soap
getting a whole heap o' sleep
adding the regret "Geonosis is less than a ho parsec away" and be returned to the regret "Anakin Sexpurposes"
Geonosis is less than a ho parsec away
the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve ho parsecs
ho parsecs
horse caps
I WAS THINKING SHE WOULD HAVE A HORSEMAN BABY
finding out that your horse came in Winona Rider while riding in a Winnebago
finding out that your horse came in while riding a bicycle in a Winnebago
finding out that your horse came in while riding Winona Rider in a Winnebago
corpse, C O R S P E, corpse
sprinkling, S P R I N K I N G, sprinkling
urbandictionary, R A B N U D I O T C O I A R N Y, urbandictionary
eyeholes, E Y H O L E S, eyeholes
Winona Ryder, W I N O N A R I D E R, Winona Ryder
cloud based regretting
waffletastic, W A F F L E T A S T I C, waffletastic
getting the question mark two times in a row
eating blinis while fellating Fellini
getting a regret that was just a question mark and wondering if it was one of the fifty Ghost Regrets of Scooby Doo
wrecking google
checking google
the safeword is kumquat, C U M W A D, kumquat
losing your virginity to a dishonest spelling beekeeper
analingus, A N A L I N G U S, analingus
losing the spelling bee and your virginity in one emotional rollercoaster of a day
being proud of eating out an illiterate virgin
being proud of eating an illiterate virgin"
being proud of being an illiterate virgin
having sex with six spelling bee winners simultaneously, S I M U L T A N E O U S L Y, simultaneously
kind of being proud of the fact that you don't talk about cinema frequently enough to be able to spell "Fellini" correctly without checking google
I have like tons of sex, with like six girls a time, while winning spelling bees
I'm neither
now that you see it, the previous regret can basically be read as "being proud of being an illiterate virgin"
kind of being proud of the fact that you don't talk about sex acts frequently enough to be able to spell "fellating" correctly without checking google
moving to the Walrus Fellating Colonies
moving to the Otter Rimming Colonies
rimming an otter in the Otter Rim
rimming an otter in the Outer Rim
bottoming for Gross Hugh Janus in Outer Rimming Colon Episode VII A New Hole
the Gross Anus Colonies, located in the Outer Rim
Hugh Janus
gross anus colon
High Fructose Illinois
HFIL
it is important not to latch onto a self made diagnosis
fears of abandonment, and resultant anger and irritability, are often perfectly reasonable even if their cause appears trivial and they ultimately prove to be trivial
that understanding your own mental state can be just as difficult as understanding someone else's
suspecting you're a little old for chronic lung disease of infancy
that a barrel per day keeps the doctor away
suspecting Kim Jong un has gout
North Korea Admits Kim Jong Un Is Not Doing Well
suspecting you have BPD
wheezing
coughing
Bill Gross makes move to Janus semicolon should you
having sex with a girl who cooked a lot like Christina Ricci costuming Kento
having sex with a girl who cooked a lot like Christina Ricci
costuming Kento
i'm going to make a documentary about objectivists called "Twelve Ayngry Men"
Raechel Ray finds inspiration in killing and cooking Kento for others, it's just her personal choice not to cosume him
Raechel Ray finds inspiration in cooking Kento
Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her kid
Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog
being an novacokevegtootletarian
being an ovolactokentovegetarian
preferring death to the consumption of Kento, though you are not opposed to killing and or cooking him for others, it's just your personal choice not to consume him
never eating Kento
still not eating Kento
tit rope shags
tight rape SOS
ass girth poet
strip hostage
hostage strip
ghost pirates
pirate ghosts
n no
being Kento
I know you are, but what am I
I know you are, but what am I
still not being Kento
still not being Kento
having managed it accidentally, but never been able to replicate the process other than when the server was falling over
knowing that Kento knew of the method on the old 'dex that Ryan has since removed, but doubting he knows either of the methods available now
being pretty sure Kento knows how to do it
god dammit, Kento
never learning to re add regrets that are already indexed
god dammit, Kento
ten thousand stories sent
Your potential regret of god dammit, Kento has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ZERO
your nipples are a bit hard and you're wearing a black thong and touching yourself
holding the President with the Celibacy Club
thrilling the President with the Celibacy Club
teasing the President with the Celibacy Club
bleeding out the President with the Celibacy Club
wearing out the President with the Celibacy Club
weeding out the President with the Celibacy Club
beating up the President with the Celibacy Club
beating off the President with the Celibacy Club
copulating cutie ballerinas
the five year plan is working
the beet's alive, deep inside
the beat's alive, deep inside
Julie's Tenth Birthday Sex I
waking up at an almost normal time and wondering if your body has decided all that random sleeping and waking it was doing is over now
Julie's Sixteenth Birthday
Thom Yorke releases 'Oxbow Dorm Rotor's Semen' on BitTorrent
Thom Yorke releases 'Next Morose Brood Worms' on BitTorrent
Thom Yorke releases 'Worst Moron Sex Bedroom' on BitTorrent
seeing something so arasing it gave you a piloerection
berating the President with the Celibacy Club
beating the President with the Celibacy Club
surprising the president of the Celibacy Club with analingus
eating out the president of the Celibacy Club
eating the president of the Celibacy Club
being the president of the Celibacy Club
arsenine regrets
bottoming for Curtis Arsenina in Copulating Curtis Arsenina VII
wanting to be an anserina when you grew up
copulating cutis anserina
tossing a dwarf then simply walking into Mordor
tossing a dwarf
it was a cautionary tale intended to teach readers that oral sex can be dangerous
Thom Yorke releases 'Tomorrow's Modern Boxes' on BitTorrent
fuckig goosebumps
doubting that Kento weighs three hundred pounds
man dies first reel, people ask "what's the deal"
three hours' sleep, randomly
Hiker Nob
it always comes back to Kento being pumped full of semen
if a three hundred pound fat gay Asian wants a change of pace, it gets Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus anyway
a change of vale
if a one hundred and fifty pound septuagenarian wants a change of pace, it gets a change of pace
a change of pace
if a two thousand pound walrus wants a change of pace, it gets a change of pace
I thought we agreed the walrus is in the back
you doctors have been telling us to to take eight colonic irrigations of man gravy a day
you doctors have been telling us to to drink eight glasses of man gravy a day
you doctors have been telling us to to drink eight glasses of gravy a day
the eternal shame of not knowing how to do it and having to be shown how to walk the kid
my sun is ascending again
the eternal shame of not knowing how to do it and having to be shown how to walk the dog
his ox wad bong
a dong box wish
shadow boxing
I'll go to the next town to stay away from the lunatics
wondering why they let defendants consume cocaine and alcohol before appearing in court in New Jersey, FIST PUMP
After he had done too much cocaine and consumed too much alcohol, convicted killer Gary Wilson told a hushed New Jersey courtroom that he bashed in the skull of Carolyn Stone after she laughed when he couldn't get an erection
winning the gong for Data bootie with seventeen FOUL CUNT FINALLY!! votes
winning the gong for Data bootie with seventeen FULLY FUNCTIONAL!! votes
prosecutors called it "the most Australian act ever committed"
Two Australian navy technicians have pleaded guilty to hogtying one of their colleagues and smearing a mix of Deep Heat and Vegemite on his buttocks during a "farewell ceremony" to mark the victim's last night aboard a Royal Australian Navy frigate
hostile shrug peeing unexpectedly, then hogyting weak aria tushes and feeling you've had a full day and need Data bootie gong
sleeping eight hours unexpectedly, then staying awake eight hours and feeling like you've had a full day and need to go to bed again
Not Da Emu Colon Shrimp Bits to Apologize to 'Green' Quip Urn
Not Amused Colon British PM to Apologize to 'Purring' Queen
electroplating the penis of Rosella
the penis of Rosella
old timey porn titles
the perils of Rosella
shooting Janet Reno in the Jackson Hole just to watch her little death, if you know what I mean
shooting Janet Reno in the Jackson Hole just to watch her die
shooting Janet Reno in the eye in Jackson Hole just to watch her die
fighting the law and the law winning
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye in Reno just to watch him die
that one surrounded by hot kids
getting like four hours sleep
that one surrounded by hot dogs
googling deep fried corn on the cob
wondering what would happen if you deep fried corn on the cob
dangbeet
bendgate
handing off Rippy Dick
dicking Andy Ripp off
ripping Andy Capp off
ripping Andy Dick off
ripping your dick off
trying to snap your bloody cock back to a reasonable
trying to snap your body clock back to a reasonable
trying to snap your body clock back to a reasonable approximation of the time zone you are in and wondering why it is so resistant to that
being caught between The Rock and The Edge in The Sticky Situation VII
drawing a picture of The Situation being The Coliseumed by The Edge and The Simpsons
The Situation is hard to grasp
opposing a contentious cause celebre
taking a dump and wondering what the heck you've been eating to make your poop smell like dumpster, then realising you're giving a lickjob high on meth behind Steak n Shake
you probably didn't understand The Situation
taking a dump and wondering what the heck you've been eating to make your poop smell like dope, then realising someone is smoking dope outside
cooking the books with a bunch of pogna, cheerio
cooking the books with a bunch of bologna
'Jersey Shore' star Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, brother indicted on federal tax charges, FIST PUMP
Michigan is polite
that Michigan is to the rest of the US what Canada is to the US
really giving one some elbow grease, before chef notices
doing us as though we were a filthy pot, precious
overfilling that soup pan and making a right mess, if you know what I mean
overfilling that soup pan and making a right mess
Shakur before shake
grinding bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penises for XP
Quiet, sir, or everyone will want one
that's part of the experience
Waiter! There's a bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis in my soup!
your phone wanting to give you Shakira, Shakespeare and Shakur before shake
among other violations
Steak n Shake complained that it was a zoning violation
that's why they closed
drawing a picture of Bart calling Hamersly's Bistro and asking for Amanda Palmer, only to have her come to the phone
getting a palm job from Amanda Palmer in the dumpster behind Hamersley's Bistro
I cna't type
twnety seven years
After twnety seven years, we will be ending a very special chapter in our lives and closing Hamersley's Bistro, wicked pissah
After twnety seven years, we will be ending a very special chapter in our lives and closing Hamersley's Bistro
DEAR FRIENDS OF HB, We have some news
Northern Ireland's new health minister is a Democratic Unionist party assembly member who believes that women made pregnant through rape should not be allowed an abortion, so it is
Join me and the rock star Kickstarter champ Amanda Palmer for dinner at our favorite restaurant in Boston, Hamersley's Bistro
finding it bizarre that a civilian is expected to salute a military officer, even if the civilian is technically the commander of the officer, in fact, especially if the civilian is considered the superior officer
#LatteSalute Colon Obama under fire for saluting marines with coffee cup in hand
don't knock it 'till you've tried it
nothing good will come of this
drawing a picture of the Queen using Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis as an impromptu noose while masturbating with a frozen octopus
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon taking a shit on the Queen's amputated leg stumps
that Kentoplay is ranked within the top ten most popular paraphilias worldwide, right between scatplay and apotemnophilia
wondering if the Queen really roleplays Kento during dirty talk
we bid you punish our tight arse like the bad girls we are, cheerio
we're nearly there, don't stop, cheerio
wondering if the Queen uses the majestic plural during dirty talk
British Prime Minister says Obama 'barked down the line' when asked who let the dogs out
hearing "purr" and thinking of cats, so maybe it had to do with her pussy or something
British Queen says Prime Minister 'sounded like a talking side of ham down the line' when talking about Scotland referendum vote
purring like a cat down a telephone line
not knowing 'what purred down the line' means, and rubanditciorany provides no help
British Prime Minister says Queen 'purred down the line' when told of Scotland referendum vote
watching Youtube promos for Prestige luxury yachts and wondering if rich klingons really do just speed around in a twenty meter yacht covered with busty, hardly dressed women with horrible foreheads
"And that's exactly what I used to do," said the real DLT a year before he was arrested
You can't sexually assault a woman and expect people would not say anything
the script of this episode received an uncredited "gang bang" rewrite by the entire writing staff
vegan tuna fishing regrets
tuna fishing regrets
piano tuning regrets
importuning regrets
impersonating regrets
incinerating regrets
imgur dot com slash oXWthreeKBg
looking for Yar's yacht in all the wrong places
Sperm Whales of Endearment
incriminating regrets
how easy it is to shoot Jackson C Frank in your pajamas
how easy it is to shit an elephant in your pajamas
how easy it is to shoot an elephant in your pajamas
how easy it is to find nude selfies of Chris Lydon in your underwear
Roman Polanski's pathetic attempts to make excuses for his incriminating regrets
how easy it is to mess up copying and pasting text
the previous two regrets said "underage girls" where they should have said "Chris Lydon"
how easy it is to find nude selfies of underage girls on your doorstep
how easy it is to find nude selfies of underage girls in your inbox
how easy it is to find nude selfies of Chris Lydon on twitter
how easy it is to find nude selfies of famous girls on twitter
Sperms of Endearment
Continual Flu Fly inverseData
FULLY FUNCTIONAL inverseData
inverseData
deviantArse
riding the bologna pogna
riding the baloney pony
also if that is Daniel, Daniel's name is still on Daniel's deviantArt page
wondering if that is Daniel in California, because if so, twitter suggested us as internet microblog buddies today
true beauty on celestial face
Madame Chao's, the sexiest Chinese restaurant in Capitol City
that good stuff that I am seeking it's got me peaking and it's got me freaking
Jasmine Tridevil
how easy it is to find nude selfies of underage girls on twitter
krill five meals a day
though shalt always krill
thou shalt always thrill
thou shalt always kiss
thou shalt always kill
drawing a picture of Kento being el tip vexed by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being expletived by Chris Lydon and a walrus
disinterring Oscar Wilde's corspe and fucking the eyholes of his skull on a reality show in order to violate him like he violated young boys, it's called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
as for this job, well, not that I have a choice, but, expletive it, I quit, meow
Two Gays In Kento Pizza
Two Guys From Quantico Pizza
decimalizing one pie for no real reason
all my tubes and wires and careful notes
decimating ten pies for no real reason
making all those pies for no real reason
thinking of your sigmoid colon as a perfunctory nod to a neighbor you don't really get along with when you take your garbage out to the curb in the morning
thinking of your anus muscles as a puckering kill
being as American as mom and apple pie and kissing my ass
that the correct response to "apple pie" is not "kiss my ass"
thinking of your rectum muscles as a firm handshake
adjusting to a normal sleep pattern broadly in step with your timezone and societal norms, then snapping the fuck back to awake all night for no particular reason
god dammit, Kento
thinking of your anus muscles as a puckering kiss
caramelised apple pie
liking your saline like you like your chans, envious rant
liking your saline like you like your clams, intravenous
liking your saline like you like your chans, intravenous
we're going to wait until his plane touches down, then revoke his citizenship
you are fucking the dog!
goddamnit, we just got rid of him and now he might be coming back
Scottish independence referendum colon Piers Morgan finally honours promise to leave the UK now Scotland has voted 'No'
pensioner Patricia Hewitson contacted BBC Radio Devon to help identify a "weed" in her garden
Did you mean Colon rubnadictacy
being shocked that there is no entry for turret lathe on urbandcitonancy
turret lathing the pooch
rescrewing the pooch
unscrewing the pooch
screwing the pooch
whoever gets the black egg stays sober tonight
discovery of a body, if you know what I mean
discovery of a body
being more or less oblivious to celebrity culture, a statement which will no doubt come back to haunt you at some stage
The trove of pictures suddenly materialized on the Regret Index, which is known as both the "most amazing" and the "most waffletastic" corner on the Internet
the OP post was simply a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus with the text "hai guise check out my trove"
wondering when the last time you heard someone use the word "trove" in normal dialogue was
The trove of images suddenly materialized on IVchan, which is known as both the "darkest" and the "seediest" corner on the Internet
Swancash Snowcash Showscan Geldof
Pumpkin Pie Backdoor Slats Geldof
Swancash
Snowcash
Showscan
stop being so aggressive, you little shit, and by the way, screw you MP
A skinwalker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
A kid walker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
The Conservative club declined to comment
A dog walker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
the MP reportedly said, "Stop being so aggressive, you little shit"
pumpkin pie
backdoor slats
wondering if there is accountability in ant societies, like when an ant comes back to the nest with something weird do the other ants have some method of dealing with that and can the colony actually learn not to bring stupid things back
haughty nurses
accidentally leaving your worn panties under your bed for nearly a week and noticing capers in the crotch when you find them
finding capers in your crotch
Backdoor Sluts IX makes Crotch Capers III look like Naughy Nurses II
bench pressing a French press for the French press
grinding coffee for XP
Backdoor Sluts IX
the great Wizard, the skillful Ranger, and the covetous Jew
Der Zeitung does not out run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'dilated'
Die Zeitung does not run images of swans that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Die Zeitung does not run images of men that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Special needs girl raped after being used as 'bait' to catch sex offending teen colon lawsuit
wondering if anybody doesn't know that Kim Kardashian has starred in a porn video
wondering if the hacker who worked so hard to steal Kim Kardashian's nude pics knows that she has starred in a porn video
having an abortion after a fling with the pool boy, cheerio
everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall
having an abortion after a fling with the pool boy
having a lot of fun, having a lot of money
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable dilation
butterflies
not realizing until you had dilated ten centimetres that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
dilating your dick in the car door
rubbing one out in the stirrups at the gynaecologists
using the word "dilatastic"
holding your boobs when you dilate
the dilation of Sylvia Browne
dilating Brian Peppers
Dilator's Knob
that you're a lot weirder since you started visiting Dilator Forums
remembering a point in time when Dilate Wrath was your favorite movie
remembering a point in time when Wild at Heart was your favorite movie
HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED
zoot skin
kids these days with their moulted skin pants
carrying your skin around
with its moulted skin "pants", Scraggy seem to encapsulate stereotypes of youth subcultures of the past several decades, namely hip hop or punk
failing to come up with a grammatically acceptable third person
realizing in your thirties that you can see your penis if you stick it out and look down
the noble prized peace llama of the Andes
realizing in your thirties that you can see your tongue if you stick it out and look down
the prized peace llama is pretty amazing
wondering how long it will be before phones are able to tell that you're looking at the screen but daydreaming and turn off to conserve power
the caramelized apple is pretty amazing
eating that whole thing of pancakes and sobbing in bed
wondering if the pancakes were pancakular
caramelizing that apple
spending like an hour making pancakes for yourself
Gobbler's Knob
not eating out Kento when you hatch dance, eh
not eating out Kento when you had the chance
not eating out Kento
not being IN Kento
not being out Kento
rubbing one out out in the bathroom at church
holding your boobs out when you run down the stairs
taking out the hugest dump
getting regret one one nine five seven like four times in the past forty eight hours and you just don't give out a shit about it
getting regret one one nine five seven like four times in the past forty eight hours and you just don't give a shit about it
lucubrating
lubricating
oiling
boiling
burning
you city folk are probably hungry from premarital sex and flag burning
surprisingly large numbers answered
Reuters has been asking Americans how they would feel about declaring independence today, not from the United Kingdom, but from the mother country they left England to create
A Marinade Levy
"There's like thirty knives out there right now," Ikeda says, "Hidden up my rectum"
getting in a prison fight with the Fat Gay Asians
Marvin Lee Aday
skiffle
"There's like thirty knives out there right now," Acosta says, "Hidden up their rectums"
Nude Porn Star Photos Reportedly Leaked Online
Nude Kim Kardashian Photos Reportedly Leaked Online
Fotzegeiger
cunt violins
sint vinculo
oh snap
being dissapointed with the amazing reget index
a revenge's feh nowt
Revenge of the Swan
Revenge of the Span
getting your dick sticky with Muk
Revenge of the Snap
getting your dick sticky with insert name
that Disney can't say Sith
that Disney can't say Shit
urbandictionary's definition of "commonly"
Commonly Used By Dave Chappelle, the phrase is an exclamation of surprise, reget, dissapointment, happiness, and many other emotions
Walt Disney's crippling speech impediment
A catchphrase used by Disney channel characters due to the fact that Disney can't say Shit
not knowing what "oh snap" means
being kind of at a loose end on a weekend for once
Cortical homunculi
Glamorousness
wishing there were a way to tag Wikipedia articles with "This article may need revision, as it reads like it was written by a fucking lunatic"
Glabrousness
TRILLY DILLY used VIBRATE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
SLOPNUGGET used MUD SPORT! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Icepuddle
Slopnugget
Cuddlepie
Snugglepot
Bill Batter
Trilly Dilly
Grump Frump
Grovernor
Tom Trow
googling something you half remember and getting a single result, which you wrote several years earlier
cramming your curious cans in the car door
Coca Cola is funny, Kodak is funny, Spanx is funny, cockney is funny, kroner is funny, Polanski is funny, not if you meet him only if you say him, Kento is funny, Chris is funny, crime is funny
Blakely knew that Coca Cola and Kodak were the two most recognized brand names in the world, with both containing a strong "k" sound, words with a k in it are funny
Polanskape
Primeape
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Spanx for Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Skanks for Nothing
wanting to hire Bill Cosby to be in Skants or Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be in Skants or Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Skants for Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then make her wear skants constantly
Roman Polanski and Bryan Singer's new theme restaurant venture, Planet Rape
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then kill her off in some kind of horrible meat processing plant accident after three episodes
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then kill her character off in some kind of horrible meat processing plant accident after three episodes
that grown up storks must support their parents by migrating elsewhere and conducting warfare
right in the round tables
with a garbage bag over your head on Planet Rape
going searching for space booty and plundering Cap'n Yar's golden treasure box
wondering how tough it must have been for Yar on Talk Like a Pirate Day
wondering if Yar didn't get nostalgic for the sexual freedom of Planet Rape
how much more awesome TNG would have been if instead of dying in a garbage bag erotic asphyxiation accident Yar had left the Enterprise and pursued a new career in space piracy
Lucius the Dilator
With Jawas You Teeny
regretting a pielike rat
regretting a ratlike pie
regretting like a pirate
At least therapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't in most cases result in anyone's death
At least the rapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't in most cases result in anyone's death
With Jews You Lose
being chinned by your own chin
sleeping in your rich uncle's home to collect your inheritance
being trapped in your home by negative equity
birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, let's do it, let's Eiffel Tower Kento
burning your home to the ground to collect the insurance money
a real upper decker
our Scooby Snacks, they got the whole stash
a real fixer upper
extending out back
some crazy meth addict kicking in the back door of your home and stealing your stuff
living in your car
having to call an exterminator to get rid of all the cockroaches in your home
living with your parents
sharing a duplex with a walrus
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys and burgers and fries
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent
a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
WALREIN used HELPING HAND! It was HARD TO GRASP!
it's not super effective
WALREIN used HELPING HAND!
Jigglypaff
though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not
While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in
Titus the Dilator
Titus the Fox
Maslow's Dilator
I have found two nonvaginal uses for your vaginal dilators
actually googling Dilator Forums because it seemed like a thing and it kind of was a thing but then you got it
having never played a Pokemon game I'm just going to assume that the attack is also misspelled
POLANSKUNK used TRANQULIZE! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Cow Control, sic
Colic Scorn #Two
Crow Colon Tics
MC Dogs
Dilator Forums
OurNut
remembering living for those cover discs that crammed a dozen game demos onto a single three and a half inch floppy
OutRun
Ford Simulator
Ronald was showing off his magic bag at a picnic in the meadow
MC Kids
well that was unfortunate timing
RAPODILE used HYPNOSIS! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
The player controls one of two crocodile twins named "Funk" and "Punk" respectively in an attempt to rescue a crocodile girl
Cool Croc Twins
Instigator evolves into Rapodile at level twenty two
Charles Bdsmingus
it's pro walrus
"Instigator" would be a good name for a Pokemon
the Bill is about animals abusing people
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by a walrus and an alligator
the very notion that the walrus wasn't an instigator
When you Eiffel Tower those you love, it's not about abuse, but love
the very notion that the walrus wasn't a willing participant
doing a google news search for Christopher Lydon and getting the headline "Animal Abuse Bill Heading To Gov Patrick's Desk
B D S M I N G O
doing a google news search for Christopher Lydon and getting the headline "Boston Police Colon Suspect Committed Two Sexual Assaults
BDSMNPR
if you could see that far
BDSMNFL
When you whip those you love, it's not about abuse, but love
that at the present rate regret one hundred thousand will be entered sometime around October twenty fifteen
going groping around for Shaggy's erect penis
that scene where Velma loses her glasses and she goes groping around looking for them and she grabs something that she thinks is just Shaggy's erect penis but it turns out is actually a floating haunted dildo
being left a fortune in your rich Uncle Bicoid's will on condition that you spend one night in his haunted mansion and also use at least three of his dildos
spooky appliances, specifically, haunted dildos
spooky appliances
the immersion heater switching off as soon as you start talking about it
how loud the immersion heater in your bathroom is
hov much vas dog on the vindov
It vas so motch dog on the vindov
I came with a great fart and disappeared as a prick in the sky
I had a very big fart, and suddenly I fucked off the road
In Norway we rape after dinner, and then the girspak got broken
I had a stop in the start
New England style swan chowder
honestly thinking that Nicole Dieker is a bigger celebrity than Chris Lydon
It's not the fart that's kill you, it's the smell
New England style man chowder
New England style clam chowder
Two hand grenades
wondering if Chris Lydon is the Celebrity Regretter, wicked pissah
A large haul of World War One and Two hand grenades, rifles, mortar shells, guns and ammunition have been found in a house in Hertfordshire
pokeman, puking out his chu up here aloni
wondering who would win in a fight, Dale Gribble or Anakin Skywalker
that as of this regret there are only one hundred and seventy five instances of the phrase "Chris Lydon and a walrus" on the amazing Regret Index
Kento taking a selfie of himself being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
pokeman, piking out his chu up here alone
seeing the words " ryan north of dinosaur comics and project wonderful fame" and wondering if Ryan is the Celebrity Regretter, eh
pocket sand, burning out his fuse up here alone
not liking pocket sand
POCKET SAND!
giving Kento an upper decker for his birthday
Joan Rivers's doctor 'took a SELFIE' with the comedian as she was under anesthesia and just moments before she went into cardiac arrest that killed her
Saya no Uta
scusing me while I kiss this guy
scusing me while I kiss the sky
agreeing to meet the swan one last time and getting it to admit that the two of you had some good times together, then being mauled by a swan in a bittersweet, tender way for the very last time
posting ever more frequently on r hookupswithswans
harbouring revenge fantasies for months, then running into the swan with its family one day and realising it just wanted to feel free for a while, then being mauled by a family of swans
taking a swan out to see a movie, didn't have to pay to get it in
going through a vulnerable period in which you hook up with a few geese, but it just isn't the same
whimpering "I don't understand, was it really just physical for you" as the swan leaves your bloody and beaten form by the riverside and glides gracefully away
Herobrine Williams
wondering if swans passive aggressively order terrible big gulp coffees loaded with sugar so that they can attack anyone who suggests switching to decaf
wondering if swans like coffee
swans with benefits
you rowing a boat down a slow river on a summer's day, and the swan viciously attacking you, like two giddy young things in love
that you're not sure you would like dating a swan, but at least it would be something that you could say you'd done, and it wouldn't have to be serious, just a bit of fun
voting "no" on the regret "dating a swan" even though you've never dated a swan
busty chickens
IT IS LARGER WET
Irving Berlin having choke sex with Kento in Kanto
IT IS REGRET LAW
sometimes forgetting that in the Regret Index Canon, the walrus ALWAYS enters from behind
Busty Kento Choking On Walrus For Podcaster
Busty Kento Choking Walrus For Podcaster
Husband Busted For Choking Wife Over Swan
Husband Busted For Choking Wife UNDER Chicken
Husband Busted For Choking Chicken Over Wife
Chicken Busted For Choking Husband Over Wife
Husband Busted For Choking Wife Over Chicken
Texas pizza employee who rubbed genitals on customer's order apologizes colon cops
Newcomb's paradox
Objectivists can only use cars they have constructed themselves, starting with the raw materials and using their own designs
high domed Vegans
wanting to buy that "Objectivists Do It Aynally" bumper sticker for Kento, but doubting he has a car
Rhaandarites
The Infamous Irons of William Waffles
first crystal tears fall as snowflakes on your body
making a Kento golem out of kimchee and butter tears for the purposes of blowing dudes
infectious mononucleosis
The Burger Family
'Dancing With the Stars' Colon Alfonso Bonzo blows judges away
In the September twenty twelve issue of The Walrus magazine, the cover story "Manufacturing Taste" by Sasha Chapman details the history of the Canadian cheese industry and Kraft's impact on it
that Kecleon's sprite actually doesn't change color when it changes type
'Dancing With the Stars' Colon Alfonso Ribeiro blows judges away
making a Kento golem out of steak and shakes for the purposes of licking dudes
Timerider Colon The Adventure of Lyle Swann
meat Kento, or Meato, as Fellato may also be described
making a Kento golem out of waffles and Danish remoulade for the purposes of blowing dudes
I don't want to put Kento out of work
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a golem made of kimchee could possibly blow a dude
making a Kento golem out of kimchee and bitter tears for the purposes of blowing dudes
that blowing dudes is pretty much the only thing that Kento can do well, so he might as well change his name
Fellato Ikeda
misreading "Kento" as "Fellato" and thinking you've probably spent too much time here
no good could come of it
wondering if regret two nine zero six nine was written by Kento, and what came of it
Schindler's lithp
Schindler's lift
the John Thomas region
The NUJ has expressed concern at the increase in Eiffel Towering of fat gay Asians abd calls for people and walruses on both sides of Kento to rein in the abuse
The NUJ has expressed concern at the increase in intimidation and bullying of journalists covering the independence referendum and calls for people on both sides of the campaign to rein in the abuse
Kento failing to live by the precepts of Objectivism and instead have greatness thrust upon him through the actions of others, sometimes four or five times a night
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon thrusting greatness upon Kento
some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them
kink ate ode
a noted kike
toad ink, eek!
I Toke Naked
Kento Ikeda
the Johto region
And immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders, Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, "Make him close his damn robe"
when you're the Messiah, nobody wants to be the one to say "put 'em back inside"
imagining that Jesus just kind of walks around in heaven hanging his boys down through the clouds at the world below
not hitting jesus' balls
hitting jesus' balls
jumping in this guy
not jumping in the sky
jumping in the sky
yo mama so tall when she jump in the sky it hit jesus' balls
Yo mama so dumb when she pay the hardboiled cockney gumshoe she use kroner
Yo mama so fat when she eat fried chicken the sun go supernova
Yo mama teeth are so blue when she go outside everyone be all 'is that yo final answer'
Yo mama teeth are so yellow when she closes her mouth her butt lights up
Yo mama teeth are so big she flosses with a blanket
cock, you just banged on the table tonight
banging your cock on the corner of the table when you got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night
Tex Avery
the day the Bangkok Marketing Board decided to play up to the city's name by promoting sex tourism
sex slavery
Kanye West tries to shave man in wheelchair during Sydney concert, crikey
TWO nights in Bangkok
Kanye West tries to shave man in wheelchair during Sydney concert
Kanye West tries to shame man in wheelchair into dandy sty during ensign concert
Archer gets a face, fuck
bottoming for T'Pol in Vulcan Fuck Pinch VII
Archer gets a face fuck
Archer gets a face full
Kanye West tries to shame man in wheelchair into standing during Sydney concert
Kim Kangaskhan
that the "baby" in the pouch is not a child, but rather a parasitic conjoined twin
the doctrine of original kangaskhan
it's Kangaskhan all the way down
ashcan babies
Even with the advent of breeding and baby Pokemon, the baby Kangaskhan has yet to be made into a separate Pokemon, and as a result, all Kangaskhan are born with a baby already in their pouch
Man Academy II Colon Rites of Passage
Man Academy Colon Where Boys Grow Up!
Jollo finds mint repulsive
Naked Swan Poo
Jollo
accidentally joining PEETAP instead of PETAP
Naked Man Poo
Naked Moan OP
Pokemadonna
that we are living in the Pokemon world
UN peacekeepers brought in to put an end to an "unprecedented number" of chinnings
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world be grass type Pokemon
having a few concerns about the possibility of brief violence from the supporters of the losing side, but only at a very local level
not expecting Scottish independence
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world eat ass type Pokemon
Scottish independence could mean messy divorce
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world eat grass type Pokemon
that pandas are born with sterile guts, and they could talk then literally the first thing their single mothers would say to them would be "eat shit"
PETAP
being racist against dogs, and also Pokemon
that in college, you wrote a spec script for Pokemon in which Ash and company went to a town that had banned Dark type pokemon intending to make it an allegory against racism but it turned out to eat an argument against breed specific dog restrictions
that you actually support breed specific dog restrictions
that in college, you wrote a spec script for Pokemon in which Ash and company went to a town that had banned Dark type pokemon intending to make it an allegory against racism but it turned out to be an argument against breed specific dog restrictions
image searching "fatass Ketchum"
image searching "fat Ash Ketchum"
image searching "Ash Ketchum being"
image searching "Ash Ketchum eating"
always imagining that Ash was Asian but realising that was probably a racist assumption you made based on seeing him eat with what you assumed were chopsticks
imagining Snorlax has a reproductive cycle much like that of the Panda and therefore poses little risk even if not neutered, then spending ten minutes reading about how pandas are basically screwed
wondering if there are even Asians in the Pokemon world
predatory Walrein would groom their trainers by bringing them snacks
Walrein would seek out and have sex with fat gay Asians
not even wanting to imagine what Walrein would do
thinking that an intact Snorlax would be just impossible to have around
not at the Ketchum residence
wondering if neutering Pokemon is common practice
The Alyssa Milano Carolingian Renaissance
Futaynari
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and Andrew Zimmern whilst skiing Carlo Gesualdo and a futanari Ayn Rand and Slash watches from afar and masturbates
having impure thoughts about giving a teenage Alyssa Milano a Cleveland steamer
having impure thoughts about a tramp steamer Alyssa Milano
having impure thoughts about a steampunk Alyssa Milano
having impure thoughts about a steam age Alyssa Milano
Alyssa Milano's Teen Steam Workout Video
Kento realizing that he can really only pleasure four men and Slash
stepping into the velvet of the morning
you can't blame him, if you were likely to have sex with Chris Lydon you'd want to be drunk as well
Kento is drunk right now
the world was new beneath a blue umbrella sky
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
I'm never alone
I'll never forget where you're at
every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you
life finds a way
it can be both
wondering if we're talking about food or sex here
drawing a picture of Kento being split five ways with some fries
Kento realizing that he can really only pleasure four men and slash or animals at once
trying to split your attention five ways
comely lasses
keeping pushin' till it's understood and those badlands start treating you good
The Olives Up Your Butt Garden Booty Eating Rennaisance
putting olives up your butt at Olive Garden
The Olive Garden Booty Eating Rennaisance
The Olive Garden Brand War of Jenkins Ear
Paul Allen sues over Nazi tank he says he bought
The Olive Garden Brand Rennaisance
Investor rips into Olive Garden
Rachel Ray Antiperspirant four Excessive Underarm Sweating No More Sweat Pack of eight
the fifth result for "Chris Brown gives advice to Ray Rice colon 'It's how you control your anger'" being "Rachel Ray colon cleanse"
The Eiffel Towering French Conductance
Brown added colon 'If you control your anger rather than letting it control you, your punches will be more accurate and cause more damage'
Chris Brown gives advice to Ray Rice colon 'It's how you control your anger'
resistance
The Eiffel Towering French Resistance
The Arse Eating Swinging London, Cheerio
The Booty Eating Syrian Civil War
The Booty Eating Chalcolithic
Professor Pussywillow
The Booty Eating Second World War
you can probably see where I'm going with this
The Booty Eating Great War
The Booty Eating Industrial Revolution
The Booty Eating Enlightenment
that gay men don't have a monopoly on anuses
The Booty Eating Renaissance
Yeah I eat booty! Real niggas eat booty! Real niggas please they bitches!
having sex with Myke Hawke
having sex with my maid
Doctor Who Worked on Joan Rivers, Steps Down From Post at Medical Clinic
Doctor Who Worked on Joan Rivers Steps Down From Post at Medical Clinic
having sex with your maid
wondering how well documented Chris Lydon's whereabouts during the spring of eighty one are
It has been brought to the attention of the police department and the district office that adults dressed as clowns have been bothering children to and from school
getting around to watching Mom's the Word and thinking that the plot is crap but Cruel Anal Labs really never did give a bad performance
Lieutenant Commander K'athy B'ates, the three buttocked Latina Ewok striptease queen
Kathy Bates, Ewok
Kathy Bates' Butt TRIPLE
Kathy Bates' Butt Double
Sandrash
Clapras
Vulvapix
HIVsaur
when infected characters teleported from Zul'Gurub to Ironforge or Orgrimmar, Corrupted Blood came with them
Penusaur
Cumbreon
Walreip
Masturbuzz
Vulvaby
Willypede
Fannypede
Drilhur
Lhydon
Mespurt
Inheatran
Fuxie
Botom
Testacruel
Testacool
Peedrill
Proboass
Fuk
Rohypnerior
Lickilicky
Arseus
Mandyke
Rapion
Rapequaza
Munchex
Brondong
k
Skantank
Suicunt
Fagsire
Veritite
Noseass
Pisseoto
Butterpee
Swallow
Dickitung
Titmonpee
Papsmeargle
Arsaring
Farfuck'd
Teddiarsa
Felatr
Cockonaw
Bangasskhan
Mom's the Word
Marofuk
Cuboner
Vuvuzelasaur
Cruel Anal Labs never gave a bad performance
naming your boobs Boob and Boobtwo
getting around to watching To Have and Have Not and thinking that the plot is crap but the performances are excellent
Boobtwo
Boob
Charmantfesses
Cartonfesses
Gaufrefesses
Cardboardbuttocks
Awfulbuttocks
Wafflebuttocks
using the word "wafflebuttocks"
Laybeef
Gynodude
Pornygon
Vulvasaur
Dickachu
Wrestmilk
tricking Roman Polanski into foe tootling touches
tricking Roman Polanski into cutting footloose, eh
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Footless Dig, Eh
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Hose Fist Lodge
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Goosed Elf Shit
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to the Isle of Dogs
your dead dogs don't trump my Constitutional rights
your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional rights
driving around in a dump fuck
court documents unsealed Thursday that illuminate how federal officials forced American tech companies to participate in the NSA's controversial PRISM program
Teacher Accidentally Shoots Jackson C Frank in Eye at School
Teacher Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg at School
taping the hugest dumpy fucker
taking the hugest dumpy fucker
being trapped in Cat's Bottom by negative equity
turning on all the Ewoks with the garbage mashers on the detention level
Ewoks have serious problems with garbage detention
dumpy fuckers
Ewoks have serious problems with fluid retention
holding your buttocks when you run down the stairs
Eegah Colon The Name Written in Blood
you should never buy in Cat's Bottom, only rent
that even though Ewoks have twice the mass of humans of the same height, it doesn't necessarily mean they're twice as dense, they could just be little fat dumpy fuckers
topping for Tasha Yar in Rape Gangs of Turkana IV
Kate's utter lack of maternal instincts leading her to believe that the best way to give little George a haircut is with a bench grinder
space bear density mystery solved
it is therefore reasonable to assume that very dense sapient space bears provide the extra mass for their small, slow spinning planetoid to gain Earthlike gravity
that Wookieepedia lists the diameter of Endor as roughly one third of Earth, yet despite not visibly spinning much faster than Earth it appears to have Earthlike gravity
the death of Richard Kiel
Rape gangs of Turkana IV
Wrigley's Pleasure Planet
property for sale in Cat's Bottom
Cockramsbutt
Naacad, eh
Naacal
Harry Can't Wait for William to 'Suffer More' With New Baby giving off sparks
just kind of assuming it's going to be a boy
wondering if Prince George's younger brother is going to mysteriously be a ginger as well, because as established by his uncle, the Windsor Spencer line is strong with ginger
Ewoks never miss leg day
just now realizing that Justin Bieber is the male Tila Tequila
Justin Bieber Strips Off His Clothes After Audience Boos
that Wookieepedia lists the average mass of an Ewok at fifty kg and the average height as one meter, which, by my calculations, makes them more than twice as massive as an average human of the same height
Endor
Harry Can't Wait for William to 'Suffer More' With New Baby
giving off sparks
living in a powder keg
it's just the swan
all the swans we know
all the songs we know
trompe l'oeil
it's still a gross domestic product
the awkward conversion of a manufacturing based economy to a rape based economy
poor Wicket
you have to admit that for all his faults, George Lucas never invented Planet Rape as an actual canon place that one of his main characters was from, unless you've seriously misunderstood Endor
one of them should be a fiery latina who walks like a stripper and is obsessed with an autistic boy because she comes from a planet where ninety percent of GDP is rape
that way, everyone is unhappy, but at least the sex is interesting
thinking having seen the regret every day for months now that the sure fire solution to being unable to come up with a mutually acceptable third person is simply for persons one and two to each select a person, persons three and four respectively
bag it up, Number One
having taken Yoda's advice and let go of your anger
the soundstage where the Enterprise bridge was created was inhabited by feral cats, so it was full of cat shit at first
imagining that Gene Roddenberry and Chris Lydon would have gotten on like a house on fire
the phrase "fully functional" is underlined when discussing Data
Lesley Crusher
wishing that the same people who kept Gene Roddenberry from putting three breasted Latina striptease queens in Star Trek had kept George Lucas from putting flying CGI space Jews in Star Wars
Macha Hernandez
Picard cannot help noticing that Beverly Crusher's natural walk resembles that of a striptease queen
forking Troi's boobs
In early brainstorming, the character was to have three breasts, but this was objected to by DC Fontana
troilism
see the politician sitting by the kitchen said he caught his fingers in the well he was wishing in
I, Varmint
Vitamin R
St Friedrich at the Benedictine abbey in Melk
bottoming for Toby Enema in My Crap Up Your Butt MDCCCXLVII
in eighteen forty seven a woman was given a liquid tobacco enema, supplemented with a chicken broth enema, and pills of opium and calomel, taken orally
being pretty sure there are people who have unhealthy obsessions with chicken broth
it would have to be something completely mundane and commonplace, like chicken broth or something
that the entire point of paraphilia is awareness that "normal" people find your fetish revolting, so the second we indentify something that nobody has fetishized, someone will want to fetishize it
Bulbasaur Bellsprout Chikorita
one day we'll discover something nobody has sexually fetishized or even wants to sexually fetishize
I don't even know why I bothered asking, of course there is
formicophilia
Batman bulge criticism
British boiled cockney
wondering if there is a genre of porn based around brain burrowing insect fetishism
beaucoup baise coule
Brian breasts champagne
bonny baby chihuahuas
bra burning ducks
broken bone collection
bra burning chicks
benign bowel cancer
burrowing brain centipedes
bureaucratic blame claim
Benjamin Buttocks's cans
Bob Barker's chode
bulging bluish clitoris
baked brick clay
the number of bonsai armies in Europe
getting a call from Chris Lydon in the early hours of the morning, in which he said only "It's me, come over" and then, quietly, "orf", and you knew that somehow, on some level, he was also the walrus
beautiful blouse collections
bums burning cattle
bottoming for Chris Lydon in both Brutal Butthole Carnage VII and Bruised Bloody Corpses VII
bruised bloody corpses
bust bearing chests
Bobby Brown's coke
Boutros Boutros Charlie
brain blasting crosswords
being British, cheerio
bright blue condoms
brutal butthole carnage
benevolent bedroom comfort
beautiful blind chick
big baculum cock
big bendy cock
not getting knocked down and not getting up again
The Return of Jerry Lee
putting the great ball in the balls pocket
BBC, like in porn
I won't call myself a failure, Failure is not getting knocked down, It's not getting up
Canada's Wank on Science
Canada's nice swan core
Canada's sincere wanco
having no music in your head lately
Curly Lip Rabbi Computers
Irish Data Rip, Eh
Irish Diaper Hat
Canada's Nice Raw Scone
Irish Apartheid
Canada's War on Science
an unnamed teamster shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
For years, Scott Rogers was known as the beloved host of the upbeat Around Town weekend show in Baton Rouge, Louisiana
an unnamed teamster thinking impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider on the set of Beetlejuice
an unnamed teamster thinking surly thoughts about Brigitte Helm on the set of Metropolis
Brigitte Helm having a comfort break on the set of Metropolis
wondering why it is illegal to slap or otherwise lightly assault a totally unnecessary and unhelpful middleman
Recruitment Conusltant
being slain by a neutral milk hotel
being slain by a neutral tantric bard
ILIAC library computers
pubic library computers
public library computers
that even though you wrote "is" instead of "isn't" in that last regret, you like the way it turned out, isn't it
that even though you wrote "is" instead of "isn't" in that last regret, you like the way it turned out
wondering how many times the Middletons have had to access the secret underground cloning vats to unfreeze another Baby George because Kate got a little frustrated and forgot that the best way to stop an infant from crying is to slam its head on concrete
imagining that the Middletons reproduce through an elaborate Minecraft style abstract resource gathering and pun heavy combination process
calling in to that radio station to win a date with Paul Simon and Sting
wondering if the Middletons use the same baby spawning service as Tom Cruise
Paul Simon and Sting announce twenty fifteen European tour having chili shits on a date
having dithecal AI, shit son
having shit chilis on a date
having Sith's chili on a date
ghost of Jacintha Saldanha unavailable for comment
Skeleton King said to be "Pleased"
Duchess of Cambridge pregnant with second child
Paul Simon and Sting announce twenty fifteen European tour
having chili shits on a date
Amihan is described as a bird who saves the first human beings, Malakas and Maganda from a bamboo plant
Chris Lydon's photo has been removed at the request of the American Library Association, due to the prevalence of ugly goth singers and fat gay Asians furiously masturbating to his picture on public library computers
Gromia sphaerica
Wikipedia also has a standing policy against the use of O face photographs to illustrate biographies of living persons
that Chris Lydon's photo has been removed from Wikipedia because the owner did not give permission for use, as the owner was a walrus and as Wikipedia has found to its cost in recent months animals cannot legally hold copyrights
star studded Ohio
that Chris Lydon's photo has been removed from Wikipedia
noting that the "star studded" list of celebrities appearing at Joan Rivers' funeral was topped by Kathie Lee Gifford and then adding the exclusive definition to your head dictionary that any list topped by Kathie Lee Gifford cannot be called star studded
Ohio
accidentally leaving your worn panties under your bed for nearly a week and noticing Obama in the crotch when you find them
that you didn't think it was possible, but Drew Carey is actually uglier now that he's offering to help police find those involved in dumping a bucket of urine and feces on a special needs teen in Ohio
Obama is the AntChrist
Fiesta de la Eurosalchicha
going to that Vienna Sausage Festival, it means nothing to me
going to that Vienna Sausage Festival
going to that Vagina Bread Festival
going to that Vagina Sausage Festival
going to that Vegan Sausage Festival
going to that Sausage Festival
Comedian Drew Carey is offering to help police find those involved in dumping a bucket of urine and feces on a special needs teen in Ohio who was reportedly told the prank was part of the "Ice Bucket Challenge"
drawing a picture of Gene Simmons's colon being threaded through by Dwayne Johnson's bizarre, lithified, Onixlike penis
Gene Simmons colon The Rock is finally dead
Maleficent II Colon Malefic Harder
Scottish education colon Statistics do not work that way
wondering how many teenagers with unhealthy Rambo or Terminator or whatever obsessions have shot up their schools or homes, including non fatal incidents
so many colon rocks
generations of inbreeding finally producing an actual sack of crap
David Cameron would "strain every sinew" if he had any sinews, but all he has is blubber, hair, and brylcreem
David Cameron would "strain every sinew" to make the case for the union
Scottish independence colon Yes camp hails 'momentum'
a man of his age needs to pay more attention to his diet, is just what I'm saying
that if Gene Simmons got more fiber in his diet he might not have so many colon rocks
Girl Attempts Murder For Slender Man, This Time By Setting House On Fire
drawing a picture of rock being Eiffel Towered by another fucking Beatles reissue and Gene Simmons
guessing that Gene Simmons doesn't want to hear that what killed rock was fat old men rereleasing the same old shit for decades on end
Chris Rhydon
Gene Simmons colon rock is finally dead
nature's sex in your hand, or a can, or a pie
nature's candy in your hand, or a can, or a pie
finding out that the young versions of the crew from the TNG episode "Rascals" are pretty much your own age, and finding it weird because they all looked so very, very young to you at the time it was first shown
not having Kento Ikeda to kick around any more
unfortunately, me no anal kidz has stopped, signed, Roman Polanski
not having Myke Hawke to kick around any more
not having Dick Nixon to kick around anymore
unfortunately, One M Anal Kidz has stopped, is what I meant to write
unfortunately, One M Naked Kidz has stopped
unfortunately, Zonked Animal has stopped
dropping your holy communion in the small of Hayden Sandman's back
Christblasting Hayden Sandman, if you know what I mean
interdicted internet
sandblasting Hayden Christensen, if you know what I mean
unfortunately, Amazon Kindle has stopped
sand shaving Christensen
mass shaving Christ
graphic Santa content
Santaism
graphic Sally content
graphic extraterrestrial contact
President Obama is an extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrials Visit Stonehenge
graphic sexual contact
shaving a cardboard booty
Sally Lowenthal
having a cardboard booty
saving Christmas
And oh how they danced
President Obama Visits Stonehenge
Satanism
Fowlrobics IV Colon Birds to Ogle
chin paint
faint APEC
graphic sexual content
where we're going we don't need comments
ears paint
chin death, a town in mourning
chin death
arse paint
ass paint
face paint
Big Red Tool Colon Clifford the Big Red Dog the Un Authorised Biography
but definitely not the last
Big Red Tool was the first Wiggles video to be banned from the airwaves for graphic sexual content
bird to ogle, cheerio
Go bred toil
bi ogre dolt
big red tool
bird to ogle
goo driblet
blog editor
giblet odor
booted girl
older bigot
tiger blood
three and a half socks
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic teat rape fat chin death googling TILT
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic teat rape fat chin death
googling TILT
winning the Teen Choice Award for Greatest Dane with forty three and a half socks
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic death threat face paint
Surgery on ailing Great Dane yields forty three and a half socks
you guys across the pond still have a lot of work to do before you can even think of podracing a Jesse Ventura, though
long marriage kilt
gorilla marketing
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with the candlestick' 'in the conservatory'
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with the mace'
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with machete'
Clown Atlas, honk honk
the cure is Swannekke
pretending to be a very dark blue seal
pretending to be a walrus
Jimmy "Big Boy" Valente, a self aggrandizing former Navy WALRUS turned professional wrestler turned politician
Those streets in St Paul must have been designed by drunken Irishmen
pretending to be a seal
you guys across the pond still have a lot of work to do before you can even think of producing a Jesse Ventura, though
it's just a shame this fine candidate has been denied the opportunity to shine on the national stage
politics needs more prison rape analogies
An alien lifeform seen on a viewscreen depicting Data from the Enterprise D library computer
An alien lifeform seen on a viewscreen depicting data from the Enterprise D library computer
Justin Timberlake was fingered as an Illuminati operative
areound
The only reason your favourite actor never writes back to you is because, even though they're super successful, they're secretly really shy areound the people that they like!
the death of Joan Rivers
preferring Europe's supposed festive nudearama
Now that Douglas Carswell is Nigel's bitch, he will perpetually be picking up the political equivalent of prison soap
Comedic Photos of California's Lindsay Lohan
Dramatic Photos of California's Lindsay Lohan
Dramatic Photos of California's Rich Drug Ho Tits
Dramatic Photos of California's Historic Hog Turd
Dramatic Photos of California's Rich Hot Grits Duo
that "there's a certain amount of tolerance" for rubbing one out in the bathroom at church
that "there's a certain amount of tolerance" for going to the bathroom during cosmic realm
Dramatic Photos of California's Historic Drought
that "there's a certain amount of tolerance" for going to the bathroom during commercials
Lewis Galoob Toys, Inc v Nintendo of America, Inc
Bantha fodder was a type of food eaten by Banthas
the engines were fueled by tradium power fluid pressurized with quold runium, activated with ionized injectrine
Disney's Dug
really wishing you'd hung on to that last one for Regret One Hundred Thousand, because gems like that just don't come to you so often or easily any more
telling from the way he uses his walk Sebulba is a podracer's Dug, no time to talk like Watto
confusing the way Watto talks with the way Sebulba looks
confusing Watto with Sebulba, poodoo
weird things that come out of google translate for no apparent reason
Bononian Rufa fellates Rufulus
that there's a really clever casting decision in Coherence that impressed you, but you don't want to talk about it because it would spoil what is actually a very good film for anyone who hasn't seen it
the new trend of the twenty thirties of having one arms that's like a foot, think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that
the new trend of the twenty thirties of having one arms that's like a foot
it still makes more sense as a fashion trend than uggs
the new trend of the twenty thirties of having one arms that's like a foot longer than the other
guessing that most people who get their arms shortened are not like "wow, my arms are way too long!" and that it has to do with having one longer than the other, so most people only have one done, I guess
wondering how much an arm shortening costs
watching Coherence and wondering if Nicholas Brendon has had some work done, specifically on his arms, specifically, shortening them, because they seem short
wondering if a better, more successful you from another universe will drop in later on to rape and murder you for shits and giggles
being pretty torn between Information Technology, Dramatherapy and Shooting Yourself in the Head
thinking about doing a conversion course and getting an IT qualification but then thinking "well, fuck, those are expensive and it's not like there's a growing demand or a great wage at the end of it"
Dramatherapy
wanting to do a GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT thing with the various postgrad options you're looking at, since if you take one of them up you'll inevitably pick a stupid choice that isn't suited to you at all
wondering why it is that the bottom regrets list tends to cycle through, seemingly randomly, the regrets with a perfect zero index, whereas the top regrets remains pretty much static most of the time even though there are a lot of regrets with a one index
LOAD "KENTO" ,eight,one
castrating that Finn
Justin Bieber called a hoser during snowmobile in Canada, eh
Justin Bieber called an asshole during ATV crash in Canada
Justin Bieber called an asshole before ATV crash in Canada
Justin Bieber called an asshole after ATV crash in Canada
Justin Bieber charged with assault after ATV crash in Canada having a cummerbund like a sausage dick
Justin Bieber charged with assault after ATV crash in Canada
having a cummerbund like a sausage dick
having a sausage like a Cumberbatch dick
Captain Worf
"Piaf" is, until today, a Parisian argot word for "bird, sparrow"
drawing a picture of Kento being threaded through by Chris Lydon's bisected, fried, Cumberland sausagelike penis
halving a dick like a Cumberland sausage
having a dick like a Cumberland sausage
"Well", says the tiny man, "Make that two cups of coffee very hot and sweet"
"Well, neither am I"
"That's right"
so, on the fourth day when the tiny man said, "I want a cup of very hot, sweet coffee" the tough guy goes to him and says "So you're afraid of no one"
the cafe owner said nothing, he was afraid of a scandal, but when the tiny man repeated the trick a few times the cafe owner said "I've had it, I'll get a tough guy to beat up this tiny man if he comes back"
he drank his coffee and didn't pay
he left
he drank his coffee
One day a tiny man entered a North Zone cafe and said "I want a cup of very hot, sweet coffee" adding "I shan't pay, because I fear no one"
that guy's cock was so bent you could throw it and it would come back to you, Kento had no choice but to do what he did
the rules clearly state that hands "may be used to stabilise the penis in the event of anatomical failure and slash or deformity of the recipient, but any use of hands to provide direct sexual gratification is grounds for immediate disqualification"
Tarzan versus IBM
Eiffeleux en Paname
that French judge had it in for him because he didn't like an American being the Eiffel Towering World Champion
that although Kento Ikeda took home the gold in the Teabagging competition at the London Oral Sex Olympics, he is best remembered for his otherwise flawless performance in the Lick Job event that was controversially thrown out due to illegal use of hands
defying your government to compete in the Oral'nyy seks Spartakiada
accepting that peanut butter endorsement deal, thereby losing your amateur status and disqualifying yourself from the Oral Sex Olympics
being an enthusiastic amateur
not being sure your cunt lapping was ever professionally rated
not having lapped cunt in so long you fear your cunt lapping has been downgraded from first rate to second, or possibly even third, rate
thinking that there are at least three of us that come at least a couple of days each week, and at least two others that come a couple of times a month
wondering what getting one of the hundreds of Chris Lydon regrets is going to feel like after he inevitably dies in the near future
flippers everywhere
it's walruses all the way down
if you want a vision of the future imagine a walrus Eiffel Towering Kento, forever
one hundred bears of solitude
returning to the assumption that the amazing Regret Index is just two people, even though it probably isn't
it will be like the last couple of weeks with just you and me questioning whatever dumb posting habits we've picked up, and the occasional guest regrets from former posters
one hundred years
wondering what it will be like when we make it to one hundred thousand regrets
nine DECADES
nine years
five years
the very notion that Kento would ever lick for a job
the very notion that Kento would ever be the recipient of oral sex
wondering how many emails the Brothers Chaps get every week even though there hasn't been a new Strong Bad email in almost five years
the very notion that Kento would ever look for a job
genuinely wondering if anyone Kento has tried to get a lick job with has ever googled him to see what comes up and ended up in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
genuinely wondering if anyone Kento has tried to get a job with has ever googled him to see what comes up and ended up here
having peanut butter on your genitals and not being afraid to let Clifford the Big Red Dog lick it
having butter on your paws and not being afraid to lick it
Vital Signs is the fifth studio album by the American rock band Survivor and their first with vocalist Jimi Jamison
the ironic death of Jimi Jamison
the death of Jimi Jamison
having an ass that temporarily quits
having a butt on pause and not being afraid to use it
having a pause button and not being afraid to use it
putting a bit of lava in your bum
that you could really go for some lewder volcano mistress
drawing a picture of sis being towered by an ovoid wrestler an erect mandrill
being lain by a cruel anal lab
being lain by a dwarven collie monster
being slain by a dwarven collie monster
being unable to concentrate on subtitles and listen to frankly weird vocal choices and understand a tortuous plot and read about divorced almonds getting the vote
the essence of the so called capitalist world or the communist world is not an evil volition to subject their people by the power of indoctrination or the power of finance but simply the natural ambition of any organization to plan all its actions HOOORRK
swan divorcees
feeling almost ready to vomit listening to the vomity sounding French guy doing the voice over for Alphaville
SWAN DIVORCEE SMELLS ROT
intelligent nuts
CLEVER ALMOND TOWERS SIS
VOTER OWNS RIMLESS DECAL
SMALL RED ERECTIONS' VOWS
DWARVES' COLLIE MONSTERS
ERECT MANDRILLS WOVE SOS
I've travelled nine thousand kilometres to give it to you
LEWDER VOLCANO MISTRESS
OVOID WRESTLER CALMNESS
all things weird are normal in this whore of cities
CORROSIVES MELTED LAWNS
DEVIL'S SNOWSTORM CEREAL
BETAville
wondering who would want to see naked pics of leaking Robin Williams
Alphaville
leaking Robin Williams' naked selfies on the internet
Naked 'selfies' colon Swiss parliament secretary loses job
Chesty XIV
that five frogs, launched into space for an experiment on toasting cheese and ham sandwiches, have died
that five geckos, launched into space for an experiment on weightlessness and sexual behavior, have died
that was impressive
okay, I'm done
EVIL STRESS CAULDRON, MEOW
RODENT VISCERA'S SMELL, OW
VELDT SINWORM CASSEROLE
ELVES' REAL WRIST CONDOMS
WOLVES RECLAIMED SNORTS
ACRID SEMEN REVOLTS OWLS
VILEST CREOLE SWORDSMAN
WORDLESS VOMIT CLEANSER
A CLEVER MODERNIST'S OWLS
EVILER CROSSTOWN DAMSEL
CORNROW SEDATIVES SMELL
lending your mast wolverine charger to a careless cordless mast wolverine owner
SCARLET NEWSROOM DEVILS
CORDLESS MAST WOLVERINE
MORTAL LOVED SCREWINESS
MICROWAVED TROLL SENSES
INVERTED CELLO ASS WORMS
WORST COLD ENEMA SLIVERS
MOVIE SCREWS TEN DOLLARS
alt dot nerd dot obsessive
Captain's Log, supplemental, Bones didn't like my drawing
when you wake up and start posting regrets about not getting this or that aspect of modern life and suddenly realise how much you've lost
when you wake up and you can tell that it's raining from the sound the traffic makes as it passes your window
not being sure you've ever seen a Jennifer Lawrence movie
still feeling pretty terrible for people who got caught out by having their private stash put on show for the whole world
that there's a really huge clue as to why you don't get it about six thousand regrets back, but still, you don't really get it
guessing that both are simple pair bonding exercises but not really being able to imagine the internal process leading to either
not really understanding selfie culture or the offshoot slash parallel where couples produce amateur pornography for one another
DAMN IT, JIM! I'M A DOCTOR, NOT A PORN STAR!
Chan Kong sang
drawing a picture of Ash being Goldenrod Towered by Professor Rowan and a Rhyperior
you're tearing me apart Lisa!
Ash's father is a Ditto
that Delia Ketchum didn't keep Mimey around for his good looks
Pokemon trainers were free to enjoy sex with Pokemon without a perceived loss of masculinity or social status, as long as they took the dominant or penetrative role
wondering what kind of legal or social restrictions there are on human slash Pokemon sexual relationships
hearing about The Great Labor Day Weekend Celebrity Nude Leak on twitter but assuming it was limited to one couple you couldn't really place
drawing a picture of DeForrest Kelley in the vinegar strokes, balls deep in Anne Robinson on the floor of the Weakest Link studio
The Great Labor Day Weekend Celebrity Nude Leak
Vitzo suggested to him that he should get rid of Smoochum because he feared that his reputation would be ruined, but what he should have been worrying about was Brad ruining Smoochum, amirite
drawing a picture of the entire cast of Star Trek running a train on Anne Robinson, with Riker cumming in third
Brad Van Darn
Frakes was the last contestant eliminated before the final round with Anne Robinson saying to him "It appears you came in third, Riker, meow," cheerio
Frakes was the last contestant eliminated before the final round with Anne Robinson saying to him "It appears you came in third, Riker"
De Lancie was the first contestant eliminated with Anne Robinson saying to him "John, I am afraid that's your Q to leave"
Lachlan's mob bosoms
Lachlan's mom's boobs
Lachlan's first hearing aids
ROCKY the French Bulldog puppy jumping
Francois Alexandre Galepides having to ask you a question
James Michael Curley
buggering the question
beggen the question
an imaginary old Saxon word beggen, "to beg" or "to pray"
Agnes Blannbekin
Chris Lydon
circumcising Chris Lydon but failing to dispose of the prepuce correctly and thereby allowing it to regenerate into a second Chris Lydon
Chris Lydon's clitellum
wondering if it's even possible to circumcise a bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis
Kento's windfalls
Kento's low hanging fruit
eating that whole thing of buffalo meat and dying of dysentery in bed
overhearing a forty year old tattooed chainsmoking woman refer to her breasts as "the Koch brothers" while eating at a restaurant you now realize is beneath you
you have died of dysentery
only being able to carry one hundred pounds of meat back to the wagon
serving a cook a mousie
serving a mouse a cookie
drawing a picture of Kento's sanctity being undermined by like five gays
not starting that talking, I could talk all night
feeling like the obvious anagram of "Kento Uncut" is such low hanging fruit that even though it's Kento, you just can't be bothered
Eiffel Towering the sanctity of marriage
hey guyth, remember Lithpknot
I blame the gays for undermining the sanctity of marriage
knowing someone your own age who has not only gotten married but also divorced
hey guys, remember Lispknot
hey guys, remember Slipknot
Slipknot's less popular but sanitised single, "People Equal Frogs"
it's got to be better than flies and stuff
just wanting anurans to be able to enjoy grilled ham and cheese sandwiches
how powerful a euphemism "they weren't happy together" can be
your friend leaving his wife and young children to start a new family with someone younger who, you assume, is less likely to call him out on his conspiracy theory bullshit and random anger at unsolveable problems
it was not the racial thing
overhearing a forty year old tattooed chainsmoking woman refer to her breasts as "the twins" while eating at a restaurant you now realize is beneath you
serving a hawk Myke Hawke monsieur
serving a rabbit a Welsh rarebit
I couldn't tell if that was the joke you were going for, or if you were doing some kind of French people equal frogs thing
serving a frog a croak monsieur
serving a frog a croque monsieur
Kento Uncut
A cheese sandwich is a basic sandwich made generally with one or more slices of any kind of cheese on any sort of bread
in the kitchen not realizing that the ticket is in the sandwich he made and puts the remaining ingredients he was going to put on plus the other bread and starts eating the sandwich, Kenan comes back and sees that Kel is eating the sandwich and he got sad
Kenan and Kel appeared in their house where Kenan was looking for the lottery ticket while Kel is making a sandwich and Kenan finds it and accidentally puts it in the sandwich that Kel was making and runs and says that he found the ticket, Kel comes back
lightswitch raves
doing masturbation to your male partners baculum
doing masturbation to your male partners dick
clean Frenchman
filthy Frenchman
Fannie Flagg
Father fucker Fist fucking Fat Fuck Freshly fucked Fatal Fury Final Fight Front Engine
freindly fire Fire fight Flying fuck Flaming Fist Frostfire fortissimo focus fire Front Wheel Drive Forum faggot Freedom Fries finds funny False Friend Fake fuck Foot Fucker Fucking Fool Fan Fiction Final Fantasy Front flip fun fuck Fucking freak
Foot fucking a type of masturbation that women do to their male partners dick
#ff
ff
Alan's sweater, John takes Alan's sweater, Alan's sweater, John must take it off, John has put it on again, Alan takes it off him then, on again, off again, on again, off again, Alan's sweater, John takes Alan's sweater, Alan's sweater John must take it o
fat gay Alaskans
not knowing Frank Sinatra was a gay Alaskan until now
that Riker cat, meow
when that Riker cat sent out that antimatter spread, it was platinum, dollface, ring a ding ding!
being unable to even imagine Frank Sinatra talking about Captain Picard escaping from the Borg
Icy T R Enema, British artist, created a hand semen stained blanket entitled Star Trek Voyager, cheerio
Tracey Emin, British artist, created a hand semen stained blanket entitled Star Trek Voyager, cheerio
Tracey Emin, British artist, created a hand sewn blanket entitled Star Trek Voyager, cheerio
Frank Sinatra "never missed" The Next Generation
listening to Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence" while having choke sex with Philip Glass
queefing squid's milk during a toast at a PETA convention to celebrate Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding, l'Chaim!
Animal rights group PETA has named a pair of rescued chinchillas after Hollywood couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who got married at the weekend, as a gift to mark the occasion
listening to Berlin's "A Yak Be Thy Raw Meat" while having ox cheeks
listening to Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" while having ox cheeks
going black and being unable to go back
Songs to Have Choke Sex To
listening to Bow Wow Wow's "Sexy Eiffel Tower" while having choke sex
listening to The Beatles's "I am the Walrus" while having choke sex
listening to The Dresden Dolls's "Christopher Lydon" while having choke sex
with Irving Berlin
in Berlin
listening to Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" while having choke sex
Pablo Phoenix
A Big Rig's Nuts, Child Detective
Austin Briggs, Cliched Diet Vet
Austin Briggs, Child Detective
peaceful oat goblins
raisin zeta jones
smutty iron chloride, um
humidity control serum
wondering whatever happened to Bicoid Babe anyway
put a walrus in my bed, Eiffel Towered me red
mama, just kissed a man
fat bottomed gay Asians, you make the rockin' world go round
I want to ride my bicycle ass, I want to ride my bike ass
BIIIIIICYCLE! BIIIIIICYCLE! BIIIIIICYCLE!
that you could really go for some bicycle ass
Crater senses reportedly detect sin in estranged luggage on a biweekly arse
that you could really go for some bicoid ass
that you could really go for some biweekly ass
Crater senses reportedly detect inert grenades in luggage on a biweekly ass
Crater senses reportedly detect inert grenades in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect Sting need rear in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect garnets in deer in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect ensnared tiger in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect inserted anger in luggage on a weekly basis
TSA screeners reportedly detect inert grenades in luggage on a weekly basis
something about Steak n Shake
A tuxedoed Boston man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a fat gay Asian in an alcove in the city's nightlife district
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when he accidentally interrupted you while you were being pleasured in an alcove in the city's nightlife district when you were a kid
A tuxedoed Seattle man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a woman in an alcove in the city's nightlife district, a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, yeah!
A tuxedoed Seattle man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a woman in an alcove in the city's nightlife district
that's pretty dark
Lavendar McDade is an evil old woman who wants to enslave the Cabbage Patch Kids in her gold mine
Babyland General Hospital
wondering how much a Charles Barkley cabbage patch kid goes for on ebay
lending your bunnybees to a dishonest ten year old bunnybee keeper
remembering being frightened of some of the Garbage Pail Kids
Cabbage Patch Kids were named the official mascot of the nineteenninetytwo US Olympic team and members of the team were given their own guys to take to the games
Cabbage Patch Kids were named the official mascot of the nineteenninetytwo US Olympic team and members of the team were given their own dolls to take to the games
their mom ate two of them
a ten year old boy who discovered the Cabbage Patch Dogs by following a BunnyBee behind a waterfall into a magical valley, where he found the Cabbage Patch puppies being born
a ten year old boy who discovered the Cabbage Patch Kids by following a BunnyBee behind a waterfall into a magical valley, where he found the Cabbage Patch babies being born
Indiana Jones and the Repressors of the Milt Cabin Ark
the ark cabin of milt repressing
the miracle of breastsprinking
the miracle of breastfeeding
being your own kid food
Lorne Greene, Greene as the wind blows, as Greene as the grass grows, Lorne Greene to follow your heart
eating your own dog food
getting a reaming from a Roman
Benedict Cabbagepatch
scotch water
wretch tacos
cows chatter
two catchers
crotch sweat
Lyon Himan Green
furtively wangling your Wilhelm with Wilhelm Furtwangler
I'd like some mixed flowers for my eunuch
just like in a modern fraternity
Roman men were free to enjoy sex with other males without a perceived loss of masculinity or social status, as long as they took the dominant or penetrative role
catamite
queer
wondering who's one foam queen, Kate Middleton or Kento Ikeda
wondering who's more of a queen, Kate Middleton or Kento Ikeda
you would love to take her home but her heart is made of stone
muscle and blood and skin and bones a mind that's a weak and a back that's strong
oh lucky you
oh what a lucky man he was
buying Senators of the Old Republic in a Steam sale and feeling guilty every time you log in and don't finish your report on commodities prices in the core worlds because you're too busy grinding Jedi for XP
Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse, Senator of the Old Republic
getting a regret about freakishly fat gay Asian Kento Ikeda and fact checking it, discovering that while he is undoubtedly fat and gay, he isn't particularly Asian
I didn't know you were getting married so quickly
swanderful, sexceptional
sometimes we have a wonderful time together and other times it's no fun at all
Monsieur le Wise Guy
getting a regret about freakishly tall skeleton queen Kate Middleton and fact checking it, discovering that while she is undoubtedly freakish and a skeleton, she isn't particularly tall
she's the gayest girl in the world
they might be saying the same thing over here, but, it sounds better in French
Senator, I served with Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse, I knew Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse, Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse was a friend of mine, Senator, you're no Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse
Ice Piss Sputum Demon's Arse is Dismissed
eating that whole thing of wasp nest and puking in bed
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall accompanied by Kento, two pounds of jalapenos in one hand and an ice pick in the other, cheerio
an enormous wasp nest covering a bed
Picasso Museum's President Is Dismissed
jalapenos really getting into Kento's arse lately, cheerio
meandering around Tate St Ives thinking about Kento's arse for no particular reason
really getting into jalapenos lately
Kento's arse, cheerio
taking the suitcase of mammaries challenge
taking the arse bucket challenge
the amazing Arse Index
how alien it seems to you to see other people use the word arse, even though you long since gave up on hiding your own British English spelling
putting a vat of labia in your arse
putting a bit of lava in your arse
putting a bit of lava in your ears
that your ears have been burning for two days
writing ellipse instead of ellipsis, because apparently you're as stupid as you feel
closing your eyes only for a moment, and the moment's gone
just rolling back the sheets and there you were
the voodoo who do what you don't dare do people
being ready to riot
loving me 'til I want no more
I haven't always been under such a blue
hitting return instead of backspace, but thinking of it as enter, because they're fundamentally indistinguishable for amazing Regret Index purposes
hitting enter instead of backspace
maybe you'll fucking walk right past someone you should by rights never encounter again, and only realize that you did hours later, when it doesn't matter and you can't be certain in any case, or perhaps you'll be horribly burned by boiling liquids
wondering what terrible things October will bring
suitcase of mammaries
to risk your heart
suitcase of memories
lionbutts
buttlions
like seriously there was one about butts and one about lions and you can't fucking fiiind them, it's so aggravating to think you just imagined them
wondering what's up with photographer Jane these days
looking for specific regrets you're sure you both saw and responded to, often with parrot regrets, which don't seem ever to have existed
mistaking three commas for an ellipse
wondering how much more annoying we could make the amazing Regret Index,,, if it were possible to use ellipses
wondering how much more annoying we could make the amazing Regret Index if it were possible to use eclipses
there are things we can not do, words we can not say
wondering how much more annoying we could make the amazing Regret Index if it were possible to use ellipses
I wanna C U Oh, my God!
more like Superpubica, amirite
Superpublica
Mangetsu man
staining the hugest toe
IMF's Christine Lagarde 'unstained toe virgin'
IMF's Christine Lagarde 'under investigation'
saying hello to sad mamas
saying hello to madam ass
screaming vegan pees
always soiling when you scream pees
always smiling when you see a corspe
being automatically associated with those who use redditor lucis aeternae
disinterring Laurence Olivier's corspe and prodding the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated fat gay Asians
redditor lucis aeternae
making Kento jokes around someone who has the misfortune to eat Kento
making Kento jokes around someone who has the misfortune to be Kento
Laurence Olivier prods fat Kento
Laurence Olivier as Dr Totenkopf
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who has had a miscarriage
TannadiceLad
making squid's milk jokes around someone who is queefing squid's milk at a PETA convention
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who is eating Eiffel Towered
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who is being Eiffel Towered
making Eiffel Tower jokes around someone who has been Eiffel Towered
making miscarriage jokes around someone who has had a miscarriage
Part time Customer Service and Sales Ass
the Walruses of Navarone
Swans of the Western Front
Horse Soldiers of Nine Eleven
wondering what's up with Myke Hawke these days
wondering what's up with the French Regretter or the Regretter in France these days
considering writing the regret "wondering what's up with the French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson these days" but remembering that he's probably dead
SHAFT
wondering what's up with the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks these days
not having seen the homeless married girl who sells magazines in a while, but thinking she's doing pretty OK as far as you can tell
wondering what's up with Schroedinger's sweet but chaotic nutter these days
wondering what's up with the fat gay Asian who posts in a stupid forum for children and complaints like a whiny shewoman these days
wondering what's up with the blonde vegan dietician these days
wondering what's up with the one legged Pakistani girl these days
wondering what's up with the homeless married girl who sells magazines these days
wondering what's up with the slim double D cup blond national merit scolar cellist these days
wondering what's up with the huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth these days
A Wolf Mines Coitus Study For Busty Dancer Ho, Gee
Woman Files Coitus Study For Beyonce's Daughter
Woman Files Custody Suit For Chesty Urban Geode
Woman Files Custody Suit For Busty Dancer Ho, Gee
who's going to put out for old Seamus
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall alone, then coming out two hours later accompanied by Eggs Benedict and Eggs Nargesi
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall alone, then coming out two hours later accompanied by Dirk Benedict and Dirk Nowitzki
having shat dirks
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Predator starring Demi Moore as the rich old predator would be interesting
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Indecent Proposal starring Michael Moore as the obese old predator would be fitting
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Indecent Proposal starring Chris Lydon as the rich old predator would be horrifying
thinking that a remake of or sequel to Indecent Proposal starring Demi Moore as the rich old predator would be interesting
that you may actually mean Paul Newman but you're pretty sure you mean Redford, whom you first remember as the wrinkly old man paying Demi Moore for sex
feeling like Brad Pitt only got a break in acting through resembling a young Robert Redford physically
wondering what the fuck was so wrong with audiences in the NINETIES that they decided to make Tom Cruise a movie star
finding out that you're moving due to economic factors beyond your control
having very little control over your sleeping pattern
being one of the very small group of people for whom mono is a recurrent problem almost fifteen years later
wondering if we are two people doing multiple announces each day or still half a dozen people doing one each
Woman Files Custody Suit For Beyonce's Daughter
he was pretty and appeared sincere, and it was prior to the advent of knowing every fucking thing about people in the public eye whether they wanted you to or not
Man who brought Gandhi alive dead
'Pig Perfume' Stops Dogs From Behaving Badly
having dark shits
wondering what the fuck was so wrong with audiences in the eighties that they decided to make Tom Cruise a movie star
risky business
oblivion
Eggpythians
Egpyt
regret three six two six two
going to the trouble of making Sean Connery learn to sound like Spanish Sean Connery in a film part set in Scotland where the origin of his character and any national identity arising therefrom would surely make him Egyptian
there can be only one, I'll chin ye
Longer sex scene between Connor and Brenda
Hzerofourone
a complete psychic connection to everyone and everything in the world
the Kurgan
CH'DING
you can't try a husband and wife for the same crime
Canadagrams
ordonnant le jarret d'agneau
ordering the vegan lamb shank
ordering the lamb shanked
bra and thong milkers, eh
ordering the lamb shank
settling for anagrammed junk
settling for monogrammed junk
settling for monognome junk
you will never find a more wretched hive of gnomes and plaster garden ornaments
wondering how many gnome themed cantinas there are
settling for monochrome junk
wondering how many gnome themed nightclubs there are
George Lucas's habit of endlessly tinkering with things leading him to always want to change the color of his lovers' privates
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to blacken smothering jugs
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to bleach most niggers' junk
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to jerk a nightclub's gnomes
wondering what it would take to get George Lucas to sing the Lumberjack Song
flooding the hole compartment
putting a bit of lava in the drum
flooding the whole compartment
sunshine units
vile and swot
a devil's town
deviant owls
starting a company and making daiquiris
Attenborough Park
violet wands
wondering if Richard Attenborough's email address was turbocharged at rhino dot com
the death of a turbocharged rhino T
the death of Richard Attenborough
having no monkees in your band
having no monkeys in your band
always getting the tune of Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm mixed up with the theme from the A Team in your head
Eh Eh Eh Eh
having no monks in your band
being in the wilds of Norfolk, far from the Internet all day
starting a company and making misery
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
a seventy four year old man singing about having a "pet" twenty six year old fat gay Asian
a thirty seven year old man singing about having a "pet" sixteen year old girl
wanting a web service like downforeveryoneorjustme that instead tells you whether a site is slow for everyone or just you
you're sixteen
letting Ringo sing
agalmatophilia
seeing an ad for Katy Perry's new perfume and assuming that it was for Evony
listening to people bickering over a cheesecake
getting a regret about Paris Hilton and remembering that she is actually a person who really exists
finding molasses candy
having offered to have a grown up conversation before and been rebuffed
in all seriousness from lack of something better to do
chasing alimony from a parsimonious parson in Allegheny
William William Shatnar Houston Geldof
Transparent Luminescent Solar Concentrators Geldof
transparent luminescent solar concentrators
anagrams burned down my village, stole our cattle and poisoned our well
I find anagrams physically repulsive
I don't even like anagrams
you started it
seriously, why do we do this
you have to admit a sweat, my purist
you have to admit 'twas mature yips
you have to admit 'twas pirates, yum
you have to admit 'twas my rape suit
you have to admit it's trauma we spy
you have to admit it's partway emus
you have to admit it's payware smut
you have to admit it's way smut rape
you have to admit it's raw musty ape
that's just horrible
a sweaty rump in a watery sump way upstrea
you have to admit it's raw pusy meat
you have to admit it's way upstream
you have to admit it's a watery sump
you have to admit it's a sweaty rump
you have to admit it's a pretty rump
tattooing the grossest rump
you have to admit it's a pretty gross tattoo
I'm really into edging and a gross rump tattooer
Overheat bikini aims to take ova to a new level, deaths, angry investors expected
Hoverbike aims to take aviation to a new level, deaths, angry investors expected
he's not into getting caught in a bathroom stall unless it's raining
seeing Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one hand and a pina colada in the other
I'm really into pina coladas and getting caught in the rain
I'm really into edging and post orgasm murder
forgetting the Alamo
kinkipedia
Cocaine Stuffed Tamales Seized at Houston Airport, YEEEEE HAWWWWW!
Cocaine Stuffed Tamales Seized at Houston Airport
I'm really into edging and post orgasm torture
being dank soy pimps
being so damn skippy
being fed worn soul
being so wonderful
KING British EMPIRE
Lord British
Pokemon Eiffel et Tour
Pokemon Noir et Blanc
afin d'augmenter la vitesse d'un chariot destine a poursuivre le train de laTeam Rocket
Ohmassacre
having to cancel your subscription to Mistaek magazine because you took it out in error
having to cancel your subscription to Mistake magazine because you took it out in error
having to cancel your subscription to Pisstake magazine because of the exchange rate taking the piss
having to cancel your subscription to Moosesteak magazine because of the exchange rate
wondering if Alaskans get slightly below freezing under the collar for Canadian moosesteaks like Hayden Christensen, eh, meow
moose steak, actually
wondering whether Hayden Christensen smells more like Canadian bacon, poutine, or maple syrup
drawing a picture of Hayden Christensen being covered in Canadian bacon, eh
a tendency to consider things at length until the moment has passed and the thinking was a waste of time that achieved nothing
thinking things over excessively
overthinking
drawing a picture of Hayden Christensen being covered in pork
"cover me Porkins", well, fuck
being unable to decode "covers me in pork" and considering the author a fiend of the highest order
my bile
blimey
covers me in pork
a lovely amorous try in far Theed
into huge beach target, flyboy
Pee Now, Ah
New Ape, Oh
Whoa, Peen
The Empire Kick Breasts
Runt For Thee, Jedi
The Ace Nap Moth Men
Attack of Leech Snot
an excessive amount of opaque fluid
Wad's Rape Stories I Weapon, Eh
Homsar, Iran
Fattest Cock Loan, Eh
A Hot Encampment, Eh
Jet of Intruder, Eh
Beret Team Skis Pricks, Eh
Weapon, Eh
Fervent Ego Shit, Eh
Revenge of the Shit
sandshit
sandspit
shitspit
wondering if whoever invented the word "Sith," be it George Lucas himself or some expanded universe writer, just made an anagram of "shit"
'MythBusters' fan favorites Tory Belleci, Kari Byron and Grant Imahara axed from show
Man who at pot candy must stand trial in killing
imgur dot com slash gallery slash EsPBAIV
'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o' 'o'
a Tam o' Shanter called police to complain that the xp mana twins' pivot hindered him
a man on manta called police to complain that the experts did not have rips with him
a Montana man called police to complain that the stripper did not have sex with him
being stumped as to whether the forcible sodomy was giving or receiving and feeling like the world is becoming an alien place in many regards
otherwise known as "The Polanski Special"
Caswell now faces three counts of second degree rape, two counts of enticing a child, and one count of forcible sodomy
Teacher Jennifer Caswell Charged With Rape After Being Found With Teen In Hotel
Ice T Accidentally Recorded A Dungeons & Dragons Audiobook
pitching Mrs Saltire, a comedy in which Goran Ragnerstam plays a has been politician trying to win back his electorate by wearing a skirt and talking with a silly Scottish accent to disguise himself
Mrs Doubtfire Sequel Now Unlikely
winning the Academy Award for Better Than Digging a Ditch with seventeen votes
watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it's better than digging a ditch
furiously wanking Jim Carrey masturbate furiously
furiously watching Jim Carrey masturbate furiously
furiously watching Jim Carrey masturbate
watching Jim Carrey masturbate furiously
watching Jim Carrey masturbate furiously in reverse while he thinks he is alone and unobserved in Academy Award winning masterpiece, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
questing of son's fib
that one definitely wasn't
wondering if there is a joke that is funnier when told in reverse chronology
Sting's Boffo Sequin
Biff's Question Song
Chris Lydon responds, "Kento is picking watermelons, meow"
All the while this is happening, Chris Lydon is laughing, and the farmer asks him why this is so
Chris Lydon brings back two buckets of grapes, and the farmer then begins stuffing them, one by one, up his ass
The next morning, the farmer, taking the two captive at gunpoint, demands that they go and fill two buckets with any kind of fruit on his farm
In the middle of the night, the farmer hears noises coming from the barn, and investigates, finding Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and his walrus
The gruff, shotgun wielding farmer agrees to let them stay the night, on the condition that they don't have sex with his walrus
Kento and Chris Lydon are backpacking through Alaska, when a freak blizzard breaks out and they are forced to seek shelter in a nearby farmhouse
wondering if American cats say "meow" and British cats say "miaow" and they get into edit wars on Felixipedia about it
being able to shit up to twenty five watermelon seeds an hour
that you're gonna shit out like a hundred watermelon seeds in like four hours
Seward's folly, meow
appending "meow" to every Sarah Palin quote in Wikipedia
spooning Jewel's boobs, meow
eating spicy food snotty mom panache
shorting your short term memory
spicy migraines
meow
just assuming that Alaskans append "miaow" to every sentence
Alaskan watermelons, into a hunky waif, meow
eating spicy food onto spaceman myth
eating spicy food over an empty stomach
eating spicy food in an empty stomach
almost
eating spicy food on an empty stomach and puking in bed
eating spicy food on an empty stomach
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of snow elf's ear zen rum on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
taking the hugest dump of azure fennel's worms to the head and being instantly killed
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of azure fennel's worms on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
Alaskan watermelons, if you know what I mean
Alaskan watermelon
eating frozen watermelon
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of worn furze salesmen on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
encouraging women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians
in France they just took out the Eiffel Tower and said Bart went to Italy
the fading of the blort
"It's tragic, I feel for all the band members who were still there when it happened, that they had to see that," said nursing student Julie Smith
drawing a picture of Elmo dumping a bucket of frozen walrus semen on Fireman Paff's head, killing him instantly
a prostitute who has laid with every language of steaks n shakes
fantastic breasts and where to sprink them
a prostitute who has laid with every language of savages and idiots
Ice bucket challenge goes awry, firefighters hurt
the death of Robert Hansen
object to which the action of the sea is directed
fantastic beasts & where to fuck them
fantastic blorts & where to find them
Hank Ketchum of the Hill
Alaska
fantastic breasts & where to find them
fantastic beasts & where to find them
being filled with a feeling you can only describe as blort
that must have been hard to hear
Beheaded journalist spoke at SDSU months before kidnapping
our ears or labia at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen
bottoming for Wolfgang Fist in Draggin' Ballz VII
WOLF FANG FIST!
messing up your face putting it in a Pokemon
diaouretics
diauretics
dianetics
writing "in the Pokemon" instead of "in the Pokemon world"
Kiss from a Roselia
wondering if the R&B singer with the messed up face in the Pokemon is name Seel or Spheal
old people sex
your laborious rear weighing down your spry wang
wondering who could possibly regret a laborious rear
aurora australis, crikey
our ears or labia
a laborious rear
our oral airbase
aurora borealis
it's better than digging a ditch
car wash yeah
wanking at the car wash
wondering if we will reach a point where the anagram regrets make up anal moth father loo theft
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that hep kit anal cowgirl
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that girth canal pike owl
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that alliance pork wight
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that trachea pillow king
wondering if we will reach a point where the anagram regrets make up more than half of the total
shaking all night long
choking out that guy with your American thighs
knocking that guy out with your American thighs
Hat Wearing Pillock Geldof
thinking it's been ages since we insulted Bono, that hat wearing pillock
Star Wars Episode VII Colon Wrath of Sand
sac wrath yeah, eh
working at sac wrath, eh
car wash yeah
working at the car wash
We Ain't Gonna Bark Like That
thinking that Cypress Hill should have made an album for dogs that was completely free of adult references
thinking that Cypress Hill should have made an album for kids that was completely free of adult references
naive to blatant piss
Jewel is into some weird shit
anal bovine pats tits
violent Anabaptists
Lowlife Rut
I Clavdivs
dreaming about That Girl
falling asleep again
always wondering why Moe bothered to call out the names Bart made up when he called, since there were rarely more than three or four people in Moe's Tavern
drawing a picture of Bart calling Moe's Tavern and asking for "Mr Fulltower, first initial I," then Moe goes to the men's room and asks for "I Fulltower" only to see Kento being Eiffel Towered by Hugh Jass and Guy Incognito
I Fulltower
Hugh Jass
Anabaptists
pulling off John of Leiden in the bathroom at church
pulling off John of Leiden
pulling a John of Leiden
sharing John of Leiden's wand with Elisabeth Wandscherer
Jan Beukelszoon
Hayden Christensen calling you a sandbag, poodoo
John of Leiden
Hayden Christensen calling you a sandbag
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Ivy League Worm Enema VII
Kento's cover of "Ivy Worm Enema"
Kento's cover of "I'm Every Woman"
drawing a picture of Kento being Prism Towered by Professor Oak and a walrein
Upholstering Your Balls Williams Geldof
Williams
getting upholstered by two Williams
Williams upholstering your balls
briefly thinking that Bill Murray just died when it was really Robin Williams upholstering your balls
briefly thinking that Bill Murray just died when it was really Robin Williams
upholstering your balls
soldering your balls
lathing your balls
sanding your balls
sly blush or dry vagina
roving hussy balladry
variably sludgy horns
dry shaving your balls
i don't like sand, it's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere ellipsis and you know what else is a fucking cunt, glass, fucking uppity sand is all it is, oh sure, it seems smooth, but you try some broken glass, it's what sand wants to be
in sheds in Russia
Anal heterosex among young people and implications for health promotion colon a qualitative study in the UK, cheerio, no homo
Anal heterosex among young people and implications for health promotion colon a qualitative study in the UK, cheerio
Anal heterosex among young people and implications for health promotion colon a qualitative study in the UK
duck bill bebop
rent bill bebop
bible belt porn
that there are in fact such things as costume braces, come to think of it, you just doubt that they are economic for the budget and time frame of most porn productions, especially those made in sheds in Russia
not splitting up the regret about braces for emphasis but because you find the keyboard on your phone hard to use
time equals glass divided by hate
does not exist
costume braces
suspecting that there just isn't any shortage of jailbait looking pornstars with braces, so in turn the need for porn budget
wondering why anyone would make a speech about cutting glass for time
not denying that there are overage porn stars with genuine braces, but wondering if there is a way to get fake ones to make older women look younger and appeal to the jailbait lovers out there
utility belt porn
Anakin's speech about glass being cut for time
drawing a line in the sand to enrage Hayden Christensen
drawing an imaginary line between the use of infantile regrets for laughs and the infantilization of an individual for sexual excitement or social heterogeneity
infantilism
not knowing if that's a thing but not really wanting to check because if it is a thing it's bound to intersect with diaper porn and probably worse, like baby furry role play or inflation dollplay or something
chastity belt porn
fishing bait porn
jailbird porn
jailbait porn
having had it up to here with your dentist, indicating a point somewhere slightly above your mouth
the gist of your point being that people now wear braces into their twenties and thirties in some cases
wanting to make a point about youthfulness in society in general becoming desirable but not being able to think of the word for it, other than neoteny and infantilism, neither of which is right
wondering if there's a company that makes fake braces for use in jailbait porn
Jan Akkerman
going into a death spiral in a Kamov Ka twentyseven
going into a death spiral
drawing a picture of Kento sweating and getting fluids into him regularly
If you're sweating, get fluids into you regularly
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Christina Ricci in The Addams Family VALUES kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Christina Ricci in The Addams Family kind of way"
telling that girl she was "a nauseating, grotesque racist caricature, in a Kento Ikeda in Fat Gay Asians VII kind of way"
telling that girl she was "a nauseating, grotesque racist caricature, in a Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's kind of way"
not telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Audrey Hepburn in the first hour of Roman Holiday kind of way" when you had the chance
telling that girl she was "really cut, brah, in an Arnold in the first hour of Predator kind of way"
telling that girl she was really cute by awkwardly touching her back and practically blurting out that you had an erection and you wanted her to see the erection because she was the first person who ever gave you an erection, and you don't like sand
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Hayden Christensen in an Episode II kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a David Dickinson in an hour long Bargain Hunt kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Jaye Davidson in the first hour of The Crying Game kind of way"
shooting a man in the eye with a pellet gun twice when you were two kids in a raincoat pretending to be an adult
your wang being too spry, spry, hush hush, eye to eye
in the surf in the pouring rain
shooting a man in the eye with a pellet gun TWICE when you were a kid
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" that she was "really cute, in a Sue Lyon in the first hour of Lolita kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Robin Williams in the first hour of Mrs Doubtfire kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Emma Thompson in the first hour of Nanny McPhee kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Gloria Swanson in the first hour of Sunset Boulevard kind of way"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Julie Newmar as Catwoman kind of way"
telling that girl "don't you forget about me, no no no no"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Ally Sheedy in the first hour of Harold kind of way"
the way that entering the name of an actress and wiki into the search bar autocompletes as "wikifeet"
learning that Dr J was not a cold, comedic tarantula
learning that Dr J was not an actual medical doctor
making "As Time Goes By" the new rickroll
here's looking at you, dog
Casablanca II Colon Casablanker
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Ally Sheedy in the first hour of Breakfast Club kind of way"
blanking the screens of Casio brand calculators in Casablanca
Casablanca Two Colon Rick and Louis on the Road to Berlin
we'll always have parasites
shooting a man in the eye with a pellet gun once when you were a kid
meeting a man once when you were a kid
here's looking at you, kid
writing the regret "Casablanca having such a rickin' themetune" when you meant "Casablanca having such a rockin' themetune"
la Marseillaise tout a coup
Casablanca having such a rickin' themetune
you wanna be where everybody knows you're gay
our colons are all the same
you wanna be where you can see
and they're always drawing pictures of you being Eiffel Towered by old men and animals
where everybody knows you're gay
sometimes you wanna go
wouldn't you like to get away
taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot
making your way in the world today takes everything you've got
I AM KENTO AND I LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN BIG THICK VEINY COCKS UP MY ASS OH YEAH IT FEELS SO GOOOD I LOVE THAT HOT MAN MEAT AND PLEASE BLAST MY ASS WITH YOUR HOT CUM SO YUMMY SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED
thinking Kento couldn't possibly sink any lower, but guessing he must have been loosening up with some really big dildos lately
I AM KENTO AND I LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN BIG THICK VEINY COCKS UP MY ASS OH YEAH IT FEELS SO GOOOD I LOVE THAT HOT MAN MEAT AND PLEASE BLAST MY ASS WITH YOUR HOT CUM SO YUMMY
twenty three positions in a one night stand
wondering if Brandon Routh is going to fellate Michael ABLE in the Deathtrap reboot
it is supposed to be grittier than the original
wondering if Brandon Routh is going to fellate Michael Cain in the Deathtrap reboot
having never seen any Homestar Runner ever, no Homestar
having seen Menorah Returns but not finding Brandon Routh a credible replacement for Christopher Reeve and being put off further by the messianic undertones of the story
having never seen any Rant Mourners ever, eh
having never seen any Menorah Returns ever
Elmo's Chink Slave
res jerking chink slave
res jerking Kevin Clash
res jerking Big Bird
res jerking ERNIE
having never seen any Homestar Runner ever
res jerking Bert
feeling an urge to watch through all the Strong Bad emails now
getting a lick jorb from an armless hooker in the dumpster behind Bubs' Concession Stand
terking er jerbs
good jorb
how I miss you, Truckstorp Butterfly
how I miss you, Buttercrup Tryst Folk
how I miss you, Plucky Butterfrotts
how I miss you, Buttfuck Reply Trots
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter has been Ice Bucket Challenged yet
Ice Bucket Challenging Jewel's boobs
DJ Jizzy Nystagmus and the Fresh Podcast
how I miss you, Splutterfry Buttock
MC Gesualdo
how I miss you, Truckstop Butterfly
finding it difficult to believe Kenyo doesn't write those regrets hoping that the Ice Bucket Challenge fad will be replaced by the Walrus Semen Bucket Challenge
Eiff Diddy
FiftyRand
Kenyo West
finding it difficult to believe Kenyo doesn't write those regrets
hoping that the Ice Bucket Challenge fad will be replaced by the Walrus Semen Bucket Challenge
horrific pool crapping performers
thinking that a wang that's TOO spry might be regretful
prolific pornographic performers
wondering who could possibly regret a spry wang
a spry wang
raspy gnaw
gray pawns
wry pagans
angry wasp
gay prawns
Kento's headcannons
Kento's interests
headcannons
that your own personal headcanon says that only the bottoming regrets that directly have to do with one of Kento's interests imply Kento, and the rest are just sort of gay pron lol
that would make him one of the most prolific pornographic performers of all time, even if some of them were simply repackaged scenes from old films
having a headcanon that unless otherwise stated Kento is the subject of all the bottoming regrets, but not being sure if that was ever established between posters
bottoming for Roger Excretia in Black Diarrhea VII
iron expressing in Roger Excretia's casement
iron expressing in Roger Casement's excretia
eating those Oreo cookies that made your shit dark for like a week
iron expressing in your excretia
one of the puppies is super smart, but nobody takes it seriously because it's a puppy
three legged puppies, maybe
if they filled the drums with puppies it would be sadder
it was the saddest thing
they just filled the drums with towels and he would pretend to play and maybe do a cymbal hit near the end
remembering a guy in college who was the drummer "in a band" but literally could not play the drums and they used a drum machine, but, as he put it "everyone wants to blow a drummer"
wondering what it's like to be in a famous, commercially successful band, but nobody knows your name because everyone associates the band only with its douchebag frontman
The Vampire Diarrhea
The Diarrhea of Anne Frank
eating those spinach enchiladas that made your shit dark for like a week
Roger Casement's Black Diarrhea
Diarrhea of a Nobody
The Secret Diarrhea of Adrian Mole, Aged Thirteen and Three Quarters
Diarrhea of the Plague Year
buying Gwyneth Paltrow's vaginal drippings, bottled and carbonated
Bridget Jones's Diarrhea
Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid
selling Gwyneth Paltrow's vaginal drippings, bottled and carbonated
daaaaaaaaamn, Gina
mesmerising
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay, take that, Gwyneth Paltrow Mountain Dew and crab juice
that the funniest thing you've seen all week other than here on the amazing Regret Index was the suggestion that Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence's celebrity couple name should be Martin Lawrence
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay, take that, Gwyneth Paltrow
Mountain Dew and crab juice
being aware that Maroon Five is a band and not an individual, but not remembering the singer's name, caring to look it up, or finding his backing band particularly worth learning the names of
wondering if Maroon Five actually writes the lyrics to his songs, or if he just records himself drunk dialing the people who ended up with his ex's number and sets his mumbly whinging to bland guitar riffs he half remembers better musicians playing
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay, which on reflection makes her incompatible with you in nearly every respect
hearing what you take to be a Maroon Five song about Caterpie not having the time for Maroon Five, who apparently cheated on Caterpie
losing interest in a girl who was really cute and quite compatible with you because she liked Coldplay
KILL music banned from Aust airwaves
crab juice
Mountain Dew or crab juice
KISS music banned from Aust airwaves
bottoming for Morpheus in The Gaytrix
thinking about how different The Matrix would have been if Morpheus gave Neo a choice of suppositories
hearing a Maroon Five song about Maroon Five having cheated on someone, who is presumably a different someone to the person that cheated on him decades ago, giving him the whiny self pity he needed to become a cheaty millionaire
drawing a picture of Tweetie Pie being Eiffel Towered by Maroon Five and Smash Mouth or Sugar Ray or some other bottomlessly shitty radio friendly fratrock band
hearing what you take to be a Maroon Five song about Tweetie Pie not having the time for Maroon Five, who apparently cheated on Tweetie Pie
Neon's buttocks
Kento's cobnuts, cheerio
Kento's cobnuts
torched abyss
chesty broads
Hayden Christensen's obsession with sand
google's obsession with sand gunk
google's obsession with dank nugs
google's obsession with dank dikes
google's obsession with naked kids
I get it now
it is a kid slash dog transformation of the previous regret
Scrumptious OrangeMint
having no idea what ked kod is
PedoPedia, the free encyclopedia any pedophile can edit
no, no I didn't
Did you mean colon naked kid wiki
F fifteen Strike Eagle Williams
Ked Kod Williams
Dig Dug Williams
taking a sip from the Missispi
well you get the general idea
taking a sip from the Missis sipp
Stunt Dogs Williams
Stunt Kids Williams
pregnant, breeding, or lactating kids
Excitebike Williams
pregnant, breeding, or lactating dogs
DoomIIGuy Williams
Doom Guy Williams
Shaquille O'Neal Williams
Kento Marek Williams
Ark "Bumpy" Roose Williams
Seel Williams
Purple Tentacle Williams
Guybrush Threepwood Williams
Bizarre Striated Earthwormlike Penis Jim Williams
Earthworm Jim Williams
Qbert Williams
Noob Saibot Geldof Williams, Jedi Knight
Noob Saibot Geldof
Noob Saibot Williams
Parappa the Rapper Williams
Knuckles the Echidna Williams
wishful thinking
Dozens of tributes have mistakenly been paid to British singer Robbie Williams following the death of actor and comedian Robin Williams
Robin Williams to be memorialized in World of Warcraft video game
Bayou Billy Williams
balls to your face, in the wall action
Super Mario Williams
horseshit dot com
music being your peer, Alan O
music being your alone rape
music being your aeroplane
Taped Cum, Yeah
spending hours reading shit, just absolute shit, on Cracked
Up the Academy
Horny Maze Dirge
Edgy Harmonizer
Organized Rhyme
ape raper
rape pear
anagrammation
honestly being pretty surprised you haven't started learning the words for rape in other languages to make rape related anagramming of regrets easier
the song "Whore" by the band "Sex Mama Frosting"
inferring the reason that ice cream is a super food
you can't shoot bi you gayg titted straighttch
Doomguy Williams
the song "Morse" by the band "Nightmares on Wax"
evening
you can't shoot GAY you big titted bitch
joining the Great Regret Index Child Molestors Club
sex pests, child abusers, or both
you can't shoot straight you big titted bitch
Diana Dors
Five Star
bottoming for Cliff Richard at the Sodomite Affair Inn Sunningdale, near the golf club, this Sunday at eight in the evening
not really being big into celebrity but honestly feeling that it's a little depressing that so many people are turning out to be either sex pests, child abusers, or both
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
that apparently Cliff Richard lives in Sodomite Affair Inn
that apparently Cliff Richard lives in a sin ration fiefdom
posting about Cliff Richard because it looks like he's going be to joining the Great Regret Index Child Molestors Club
Tyler Perry's Diarrhea of a Bald Macaw Monk
that apparently Cliff Richard lives in a fortified mansion
thinking it was weird that someone posted about Cliff Richard here because despite his fame, he's sort of an obscure old virgin, except maybe he was banging a tennis player and maybe his manager, and then inferring the reason
that ice cream is a super food
Robins Williams naming his daughter a video game character
Tyler Perry's Diarrhea of a Mad Black Woman
bottoming for Cliff Richard in Hairy Web VII
the very notion that "superfoods" exist
discarding mustangs with Giscard d'Estaing
that Kento's birthday was aye stud
not remembering if Tuesday was the day Kento turned up and expressed his surprise about his name being on the front page
that Kento's birthday was Tuesday
drawing a picture of Kento smearing regret butter on his anus while Clifford the Cruel Red Labrador barks and snarls to encourage him
Christ
that cruel anal labs never achieved the same popularity as the yellow or chocolate varieties
Already with thee! torrid is the sailfish, and haply the Queen Moon is on her mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on her throne of blood, cluster'd around by all her starry Fat Gay Asians
interning with Cruel Anal Labs
accidentally blowing Cruel Anal Lab bra prayers
accidentally blowing Lauren Bacall
accidentally blowing Lauren Bacall a raspberry
being Mayor of Stafford three times
the death of William Robins
just putting your lips together and blowing
clicking the refresh button on your underwear, if you know what I mean
clicking the authentic button on your underwear
snapping an Eiffel Tower model in half
snapping a MykeHawke model in half
snapping a kidwalk model in half
snapping a dogwalk model in half
snapping a catwalk model in half
clicking the refresh button on your underwear
Sir, idiots lash fir
sailfish is torrid
florist aids Irish
leaving your lover for the vodka of a pet
Sir, this is Florida
trying to pull your underwear down to refresh it
Crystal Metheny
leaving your lover for the sake of a pet
drawing a picture of Richard Branson gritting his teeth and snapping a catwalk model in half
leaving your lover a pet
PETA overvealing yo rule
wondering if Mangriff is angry about never forgetting
Mangriff looking like the bastard child of Sonic and Lion King deviantArt fan characters
PETA overruling yo veal
Mangriff
bananana bread
wondering why anybody would want to overrule yo veal
there must be fifty ways to overrule yo veal
Ohio State President Drake Defends Jon Waters Firing
Virgin America Flight Attendants Vote to Create Union
Africa's 'last polar bear' wang, dies in zoo
Africa's 'last polar bear' Wang, dies in zoo
Hooligans Jim & Cas
erect penis and puking in bed
Record Setting Storm Dumps Thirteen Inches of Rain on Long Island Town, Floods Roads, Strands Drivers
licking that whole thing of Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis and puking non stop forever until the end of time
licking that whole thing of Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis and puking in bed
Welshrats isn't it
homo no aware
getting Eiffel Towered by a man over sixty five years old and a marine
mono WELL aware
mono no aware
eating that whole thing of Ricola and having concerns about shitting the bed
duhkha
Welshrats
Cod's fins, rectum, Nazi symbol on chicken sandwich
Customer finds Nazi symbol on chink's wind cache
Customer finds limb so zany on chicken sandwich
Customer finds Nazi symbol on chicken sandwich
THALLIUM shooting through everything green
mercury shooting through everything green
that it seemed to you that she lived her life like a devil on the run, a six gun lover, a candle in the wind
how you got your rut back
how you got your groove back
the death of Lauren Bacall
watching a Scandinavian crime drama performed in Swedish but set in England in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in trifles
the purpose of a dessert is not to be nutritious but to be delicious
feeding Chris Lydon and a walrus a layered dessert made with thick custard, fruit, sponge cake, jelly, and whipped cream before they give Kento a trifle powered Eiffel Tower is good for neither you nor any of them
feeding Chris Lydon and a walrus a layered dessert made with thick custard, fruit, sponge cake, jelly, and whipped cream before they give Kento a trifle powered Eiffel Tower
getting Eiffel Towered by a man over sixty five years old and a marine mammal over fifteen hundred kilograms is not good for you
Regret Ninjas
I didn't even see you there
suddenly realising why you spend so much time regretting
smoking like a dope isn't good for you
screaming like a fish isn't good for you
drinking like a fish isn't good for you
eating electroplated is not good for you
being hit in the head quite a lot by various things and people over the years really isn't good for you
being threatened, harassed, and intimidated over a period of months or years is not good for you
being poisoned is not good for you
being hit by a moving vehicle is not good for you
being electrocuted is not good for you
saying "loss of consciousness" and then "syncope" in the same sentence because you forgot you'd already said it
the short answer is that being electrocuted can result in tonic clonic seizures, much like those induced by ECT, and can result in loss of consciousness as well as loss of muscular control, and can often result in syncope with a range of causes
suspecting you've simply got some rogue pieces of iron or something lodged in your body cavity
that it is allegedly possible to magnetize heart and lung tissue which is still living, but you don't have a link to the study any more
setting off old magnetic resonance type store anti theft systems whenever you walked through them for a couple of months
presumably having been protected by banks of miniature fuses and capacitors all burning out simultaneously
also the laptop was pretty fucked after that, though it still powered on
having been electrocuted by a lightning strike through a telephone line and the laptop it was attached to, at a distance of something like one mile, and considering it much like being electrocuted by mains powered devices
having been electrocuted by mains powered devices on several occasions and being able to report that it makes you jump in surprise, which you assume is to do with every nerve in your body firing simultaneously or something, since it doesn't really hurt
needing to add www dot to the previous regret to make it work
lightningsafety dot noaa dot gov slash survivors dot htm
wondering if getting hit by lightning really does make you paralyzed, like in Pokemon
to work
kind of wishing Kento would get a job delving deep into the bowels of creation in search of untold treasures so that you could do a "how strange the change from Asian to miner", though you guess he'd also need a You Only Live Twice style makeover for that
having a pocket full of unidentifiable coinage from various countries of the East and some weird looking Chinese coins, how strange the change from Asia to China
kind of wishing China would launch a massive war of aggression so that you could do a "how strange the change from Asia to China" bit
capitalizing The Change but not Asian, how strange the change from Asia
perhaps The Change is come and soon you too will be a fat, gay asian
wondering if this is how Kento feels all the time
having a migraine, swollen glands, and nausea
that your now deceased grandfather then went down and physically threatened the girl's mother and demanded a paternity test, after which the issue was dropped
learning that your cousin, at fourteen years old, filmed himself having sex with a girl who would become pregnant, and that video was used in an attempt to blackmail him into giving money to the girl
Boston's Prostitutes Are More Than a Feeling
lawful caveman bugs
awful venal scumbag
Boston's Prostitutes Are Really Expensive, Wicked Pissah
Boston's Prostitutes Are Really Expensive
disinterring Robin Williams's corspe and humping his guts in order to violate him like he violated young boys
taking the humped guts
really seriously hoping that Robin Williams wasn't the Celebrity Regretter and also that hoping that doesn't make you some awful venal scumbag
swans entering your dreams to make you think about swans entering your dreams to make you dream about swans entering your dreams to make you dream about swans
Your potential regret of Swanception has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE
Manception
Rosie O'Donnell and Gwyneth Paltrow's cover of Man, I Feel Like a Woman
that if anyone could play a man pretending to be a woman, it would be Rosie O'Donnell
wondering who would star in the Avvai Shanmughi sequel should Kamal Haasan die
taking the V out of Bell Bi Deoe
putting the V in Vin Divesel
Vin Dersel
Vin Dassel
putting the V in Vin Diesel
trying to pull the amazing Regret Index down to refresh the page
Daniel O'Donnell
wondering who is going to star in the Mrs Doubtfire sequel now
Rosie O'Donnell
wondering who Vin Diesel is going to play Warhammer against now
Chris O'Donnell
wondering who we're going to get to play the robin on Tanks for Nothing now
the death of Robin Williams
PreschoolerHomer
being dry sled decals
being cladly dressed
calling it a Steer's Crevice when you can clearly see it
calling it a Secret Service when you can clearly see it
Toddler slides throughout wet geisha, alarming Secret Service, eh
Toddler slides through White House gate, alarming Secret Service
Police Colon Woman chases masturbating man from UW hall
wondering whether Johannes Gutenberg and Louis Daguerre are at this very moment having a heated argument in the afterlife over who is more to blame for the travesty of a talentless celebutard publishing a book of her own horrible self taken photos
you still think they should have taken that step back and reconsidered the "flutes" from Pokemon looking like bongs
drawing a picture of Kento drawing a picture of Simba being Eiffel Towered by Rafiki and a hippopotamus
Kim Kardashian to kiss fish pubes oboe
Kim Kardashian to kill fish pubes oboe
Kim Kardashian to fuse kebob poil, shill
Kim Kardashian to push lifelike boobs
Kim Kardashian to puke foolish bibles
Kim Kardashian to publish selfie book
how many truly deranged pieces of art and fiction seem to have been created by 'fans' of Kento, to the point that even when you kind of think the author was trying to troll you still think they should have taken that step back and reconsidered
how many truly deranged pieces of art and fiction seem to have been created by 'fans' of the Lion King, to the point that even when you kind of think the author was trying to troll you still think they should have taken that step back and reconsidered
the "flutes" from Pokemon looking like bongs
Ed's lotion, eh
wondering if the guy who wrote the story about fictional lion incest ever just looks in the mirror and wonders how his life got to that point, or if he is so far gone he doesn't even have that awareness
meep meep
hot lion seed
feeling her climax squeeze his cock even more sent Simba over the edge and with one Final hard thrust he Poured his hot lion seed into his mother
giving that musketeer five francs to jab a screwdriver in his epee scabbard
giving that hobo five bucks to jab a screwdriver in his pee tube
having a flash! ah ahhhh! savior of the universe!
tubing jowls boobs
just now realizing that Madonna's "Airy Elk Rape" is about a tuba boob jowl
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a robot hand job
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about giving black Jesus a blow job
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about a blow job
Three Men And a Fat, Gay Asian
Three Men and Several Dozen, Perhaps Hundred, Bastards Babies
wondering how many other unwanted Babies the Three Men were responsible for
frequent parties and flings with different women
Bratz Babyz being drunk, stupid, sunburnt, fat, gay, Asian, and covered in bad tattoos
being sober, thoughtful, pale, slim, and covered in near mint condition skin
Bratz Babyz
being drunk, stupid, sunburnt, fat, gay, Asian, and covered in bad tattoos
having a flash HOO HOO HOO HOO in four colors
friendship, hair play and a 'passion for fashion'
drinking waffle batter out of a wiffle bat
being drunk, stupid, sunburnt, fat, and covered in bad tattoos
Three Men in a Coffin
Trois hommes et un couffin
Heyy Babyy
drawing a picture of Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, and Steve Guttenberg smearing peanut butter on each other's genitals as Clifford the Big Red Dog looks on
FOUR Men And a Puppy
Three Men And a Puppy
not realizing until you had experienced lots of rain that when your ex hurricane swept over, it was an ex hurricane
Sinbad Colon Legend of the Seven Seas
waffletastic nudity
Go in gape
cowardly lions
heroic crudites
cowardly nudity
abusing the word "waffletastic"
Leelandredloomsagwinaechegesima Guttenberg Geldof
Leelandredloomsagwinaechegesima
Guttenberg was the worst
she'd be pretty irritable
three rapes and an annoyed girlfriend
three apes and an annoyed girlfriend
Segway scooters and mountain bikes for those who prefer to stay on the ground
heroic nudity
going ape
helping to give your child a head start electroplating pennies every day
no thing comes even close to what we ream so truest
mine's a little worse, I think
helping to start giving your child head for just penis a day
writing the worst thing
helping to start your child giving head for just pennies a day
no thing comes even close to what we treasure most
Yo Crappa Crappa
I know yo manure but sometimes I manage to forget
I know your name but sometimes I manage to forget
Eiffel Towering Robots Eiffel Tower Kento And Eiffel Tower Kento
Hand Job Robots Jack Themselves Off And Walk Away
Origami Robots Fold Themselves And Walk Away
Love Hygiene
wishing you were Associate Justice Sotomayor
the following plugin is unresponsive colon unknown would you like to stop it
confusing Associate Justice Sotomayor with an Oscar Mayer Wiener
helping to give your child a head start for just pennies a day
Dr Noglove memorising all those episodes of DSnine
Dr Nohomo, or colon How I Learned to Stop Fisting and Love Myke Hawke
Dr Noglove
Dr Shittyhands or colon How I Learned to Stop Smoking Pot and Love Hygiene
wondering if there's a doll out there who takes a picture of every dump she takes
Teacher accused of showing up drunk, without pants on first day of work being rewarded with a butt of sack
Teacher accused of showing up drunk, without pants on first day of work
being rewarded with a butt of sack
sitting in that whole thing of pot and shelling it to sick people
shitting in that whole thing of pot and selling it to sick people
that many people mashing garbage don't wash their hands
shit or get off the pot
wondering if there's a Sting out there who takes a picture of every dump you take
that many people washing pot don't handle their hands
wondering if ratemypoo dot com is still going
tying to make eh near that convent in Canda
that many people handling pot don't wash their hands
Marijuana's Buzzkill DNA Colon Biotech Researcher Finds Medical Pot Laced With Feces
trying to make hay near that convent in Canda
wondering if there's a guy out there who takes a picture of every dump he takes
trying to make hay near that convent
Your potential regret of the amazing Bristol Scale has already been added!
you make hay when toned nun shits, eh
you make hay when the sun don't shine
the amazing Regret Index framing vegan hen ovum
the amazing Regret Index framing hen ovum
the amazing Regret Index given human form
having the image enter your mind of two dozen elderly Indian men eating spoiled gulab jamun, then spraying Kento with streams of hot liquid shit until he is bathing in it
eating that whole thing of gulab jamun and shitting in bed
wondering if there's a thing that's like bukakke but with diarrhea gulab jamun
wondering if there's a thing that's like diarrhea but with bukakke, but then thinking "Kento"
oh hello
calentitos
wondering if there's a thing that's like bukakke but with diarrhea
gulab jamun
loukoumades
beignets
tynnu llun o Kento cael ei Eiffel safai gan Chris Lydon a walrus llid y bledren dymchwelyd
the OC, DNS
tynnu llun o Kento cael ei Eiffel safai gan Chris Lydon a walrus
llid y bledren dymchwelyd
the OC
bladder disease has returned
the WC
the CW isn't it
foolmilk
filmlook
the CW
Pertweetine
John Astatine
Sean Astatine
forcing John Mayer to sing "If I Ever Get Around to Dying" through his ruined throat following a deathmatch with Justin Bieber
wondering, in the event that you were able to trap Justin Bieber and John Mayer in an arena and force them to fight, which of the two you would want to lose and die immediately, and which you would want to die slowly from wounds sustained in the fight
beaching Jewel's walruses
beaching Jewel's whales
beaching Jewel's boobs
four year olds posting about senicide and the latest in dick humor on the amazing Regret Index
beach dicks
beach balls
four year olds posting about senicide and the latest in knock
knock humor on the amazing Regret Index
swanicide
four year olds posting about senicide and the latest in knock knock humor on the amazing Regret Index
an interrupting swan HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
an interrupting swan
that is not who is there
trying that Bosnian Pot
who's there
knock knock
Astatine
damn it
Fluorine Gallium Yttrium Arsenic Iodine Athenium
Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Yttrium Oxygen Uranium
Polonium Lanthanum Nitrogen Sulfur Potassium Iodine
Pichelsteiner
Oxygen Vanadium Argon Iodine Einsteinium
Vanadium Silver Iodine Sodium
Stedman
niece's EGO
coconut vinegar
niece's id
returning to life in the frog porn
senicide
fog romp
returning to life in the frog romp
returning to life in the pog form
Herculean tusks
returning to life in the undead form
her ass cunt leak
Herculean tasks
Zoroastrianism
Toronto's arcane balls, eh
Chicago's "bleacher bums"
Kento's arcane balls, eh
Kento's anal heel crabs
Kento's anal bleachers
Latin Vulgina
Vulgina
Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry died shortly before the movie's premiere, just days after viewing the film
dwawing a pictuwe of Jonathan Woss and Elmew Fudd bwaiding theiw penises togethew, huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
turning off all the detention mashers on the garbage level
Happhy Berfphday, Mishpter Pwefshiden
Lisp Severely for President
Elvis Presley for President
shitting down on pansies
shitting down on Cher
sitting down on Cher
naming those female mermaids Cher and Winona Ryder
naming that male mermaid Hayden Christensen
naming that female centaur Sarah Jessica Parker
naming that female minotaur Sandra Bullock
nobody WANTS to deep throat Stephen Fry, it just sort of happens
the front page, garrulus said he didn't want a serious
relationship, he meant it
nobody WANTS to deep throat Stephen Fry
being ensorcelled
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want to deep throat Stephen Fry, he meant it
remembering about this logo you made and finding your name on not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex the front page, garrulus said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
remembering about this logo you made and finding your name on the front page, garrulus
deep floating Stephen Fry
we all float down here
welcome back, Stephen Fry
the stage of computer ownership where you spend increasing amounts of time running diagnostics and hoping you don't have to replace anything
remembering about this website you made and finding your name on the front page, Ryan North
wondering if the amazing Regret Index can be properly said to have back pages
welcome back, Sandra Bullock
remembering about this website and finding your name on the front page
crossing a swan
Swans Crossing
imgur dot com slash LTAIfwB
Putsch for Pizza
Push for Pizza
drinking non heterogenized Kento's slutty shit gland milk, no homo
drinking non homogenized Kento's slutty shit gland milk
making a fire, lighting your torch, you've got to throw her out there on the porch
not buying Sandra Bullock from Amazon
the kids have to learn about TekWar sooner or later
horking while you try to say ewww
milking Kento's slutty shit gland
Kento's slutty shit gland
slightly salty nuts
El Slutty Shit Gland
lightly salted nuts
sincerely hoping you laptop screen didn't just burn out
those dogs were fast as lightning
fighting with expert timing
Dog mayor, thirty three, loses reelection bid in Minnesota
it's hard to grasp
wondering why anyone would want to fist a five year old boy
misreading "Boy mayor, five, forced to resign after being caught in sex sting in airport bathroom" as "Boy mayor, five, forced to resign after being caught fisting in airport bathroom"
Boy mayor, five, forced to resign after being caught in sex sting in airport bathroom
popsicle budget "out of control, don'cha know", don'cha know
Boy mayor, five, loses reelection bid in Minnesota
suckling squid's milk from a grim soy teat
a grim soy teat
in the grim darkness of the far future there is only PETA
a grim soy tax
Myxogastria
blasting your way out of Mos Eisley, if you know what I mean
having seen AC Anal Scab in Shaved By the Balls VII and not wanting to see it again
having never seen AC Anal Scab
here's electroplating your shoes, kid
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the electroplating of a shoe trope
having never seen Casablanca
imgur dot com
imgur dot com slash FROfKCs
imgur dot com slash hfourmHVIh
wondering if Raiden from Mortal Kombat is based on Chris Lydon
wondering if Drayden from Pokemon is based on Chris Lydon
a pond
Pando
getting a meat job from an elderly Illinois man who carried a portable oxygen tank and rode around in a motorized scooter in the dumpster behind Shop n Save
electroplating Brian Peppers
inserting something into packaged meats on several occasions
Mikey
Marcus
Takuya
Takato
Davis
Tai
an elderly Illinois man who carried a portable oxygen tank and rode around in a motorized scooter allegedly put sewing needles inside packaged meat sold at a Shop 'n Save grocery store, according to the FBI
nakko cabron emissions
nocturnal cabron emissions
nocturnal carbon emissions
in a park in Essex, innit
In a shabby dumpster tucked away in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, a crowd of aging devotees are putting up quiet resistance to the might of on line pornography
vive la resistance!
In a shabby cinema tucked away in a backstreet of central Paris, a crowd of aging devotees are putting up quiet resistance to the might of on line pornography
puking fuc your anagram
A family mourning a stillborn baby have been set upon by a gang in a park in Essex, innit
fucking up your anagram
A family mourning a stillborn baby have been set upon by a gang in a park in sex arena, Skip
wondering what it is that people from Essex say
Sgt Pepper's lonely nocturnal emissions
nocturnal manumissions
A family mourning a stillborn puppy have been set upon by a gang in a park in Essex
A family mourning a stillborn baby have been set upon by a gang in a park in Essex
crepuscular emissions
nocturnal transmissions
nocturnal emissions
the origin of the "what is this, a thing for ants" meme
Chris Lydon incest spree
Chris Lydon's ice serpent
Chris Lydon sent recipes
Chris Lydon persistence
Sgt Pepper's lonely masturbation sessions
erect Peppers
Chris Lydon's erect penis
Lydon's erect penis
Cholo Dew Porn Highs
wanting to give Kento an Arby's Mega Vegan Meat Stack for his birthday
wanting to give Kento an Arby's Magma Cake Test for his birthday
wanting to give Kento an Arby's Mega Meat Stack for his birthday
New Dorps on the Block
New Dorp High School
being tiny elliptic rape grill
being cripplingly literate
being cripplingly illiterate
Ralph, whose favorite color is peanut butter
Ralph, who's favorite color is peanut butter
never having seen Zoolander but nevertheless knowing that it is the origin of the "what is this, a thing for ants" meme
lolcockney
using that girl when you run your dick down her vagina
meeting the death of very interested shoe breasts
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the waffletastic remoulade out of a second grader's vagina trope
spooning hardboiled Mexican remoulade off of Sylvia Browne's erect Peppers
watching a British porn drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe licks Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
licking Danish remoulade off of Christina Ricci's erect boobs
holding your boobs when you lick Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
you said it
bottoming for twenty two little kids and their big dongs in My Insides Have Turned Into Bananas VII
bottoming for twenty two little kids and their big dongs in Twenty Two Little Kids And Their Big Dongs XXII
you said it
my insides have turned into bananas
Twenty Two Little Kids And Their Big Dongs
Twenty Two Killed Tits And Their Big Dogs
Twenty Two Little Kids And Their Big Dogs
Artist Recreates His Own Childhood Drawings Twenty Plus Years Later
tokes was needed!
Kento was seeded!
leisure rips
le pissurier
The Duality of Humor and Aggression in Leadership Styles
I ain't afraid of no chode
surer piss
surprises
imagining Dan Aykroyd trying to be angry with Bill Murray
funding paheal
finding paheal
All furious cast for Ghostbusters III
Dan Aykroyd is if our us
All friable cast for Ghostbusters III
Dan Aykroyd is furious
All shemale cast for Chodebusters III
All female cast for Ghostbusters III
Kento's oiled neckline cinch
Kento's Kento like innocence
Kento's childlike innocence
finding paheal to be much like image searches generally, a lot of forgettable, samey crap, a few true pieces of lunacy, and eventually photoshopped pictures of celebrities who have nothing to do with your search term
all the drawing we've described of Kento here sounding childlike and innocent compared to the stuff on paheal
Otter attacks forty five year old, sends dog and grandma to veterinary hospital
Otter attacks eight year old, sends boy and grandma to hospital
Barack Obama's bizarre, elongated, lamprey like penis
imgur dot com slash BZuaLftwo
prodayu propan i propan aksessuary
all human life is here
the low quality of that one makes it look like it was scrawled by a convict in a Russian prison and passed around as currency
imgur dot com slash pPthreeNoneMn
going to the Bobby Hill rule thirty four section on paheal and deciding that you're never going to use the internet again
selling giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises and giant, overly detailed, cartoon penis accessories
drawing a picture of Hank Hill saying "that boy ain't right" after seeing Bobby being gangbanged by four elderly men with giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises with his socks on
rubbernecking
not really wanting to see it, but being curious as to just how awful it would be
c'mon, you know that if you didn't really want to see it you wouldn't have entered the link
seeing the face, then looking down already knowing you didn't really want to
i dot imgur dot com slash UOJbTLC dot png
putting your socks on the giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises of four elderly men
that if we still had comments, "Kento" would have posted "OR IS THERE SOMETHING VERY RIGHT ABOUT IT" in response to the previous regret
there's something not right about being gangbanged by four elderly men with giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises with your socks on
giant, overly detailed, cartoon penises
nothing could possibly induce you to scratch the penises
there's something not right about having sex with your socks on
nope, scratch that, it's the penises
it's the socks that disturb me the most for some reason
it's like that job Kento had in college
imgur dot com slash BYUEgEA
getting a lick job from a trannie Gastly in the back of the truck by the SS Anne
searching for professor elm rule thirty four
he appears to be the only character who can tell the Officer Trannies apart
Brock is able to recognize different Trannies on numerous occasions
bottoming for Professor Oak in Achy Elm VII
achy elm
alchemy
Vanilla Ice eating ten pounds of rancid poutine, getting fisted by Kevin Federline, then nine months later shitting out Justin Bieber
that's how Justin Bieber was created
wishing someone would make a mashup of Vanilla Ice's Go Ninja Go with Kevin Federline's PopoZao to make the ultimate white doucebag song
punk ass cinnamon rolls
queefing non homogenized squid's milk at a PETA convention
drinking unsweetened soy milk
Power Rangers Colon Super Megaforce
drinking non homogenized milk
Dogz Bop
Kidz Bop
being born with homochromia, no hetero
being born with heterochromia, no homo
Daniel Edward "Dan" Aykroyd, CM, eh
that Dan Aykroyd is Canadian, eh
that Bill Murray is practically Canadian
that you were certain that Bill Murray was Canadian, da Bears
that you were certain that Bill Murray was Canadian
Annihilation was better
watching Ralph McQuarrie throw up on a Scottish stone mason
Annihilation Colon Conquest
bootlegging Bill Murray's junk
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Twink in Jon Favreau's 'Bootleg Junk, Eh'
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Twink in Jon Favreau's 'Gob Hole Junket'
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Twink in Jon Favreau's 'The Jungle Book'
Bill Murray reportedly to Voice Baloo the Bear in Jon Favreau's 'The Jungle Book', no one believes reports
Mom fights autistic son's chickens
microwave thrusters
Bill Murray to Voice Baloo the Bear in Jon Favreau's 'The Jungle Book'
Mom fights to keep autistic son's chickens
man bites swan taking a selfie
Hannibal bites man taking a selfie
Hannibal
swan bites man taking a selfie
Anna Haining Swan, eh
in your face, space coyote
BA
having sex with a girl who stopped to podcast a lot like Christopher Lydon
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christopher Lydon
cucamelons
snozzcumbers
pumpcumbers
bi sorts
rib toss
trying all the ass berries in town
bistros
ass berries
brasseries
braziers
brassieres
bras
Fairy type pokemon
harpy, harpier, harpiest
promising to check into a hotel as Thumbina Pricci sjould you ever need a pseudonym
Waste Tester for the kids
Sweet Treats for the kids
One of two twelve year old Wisconsin girls charged as an adult with stabbing a classmate to please a fictional online horror character is mentally incompetent and can't stand trial, a judge said Friday
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Thumbina Pricci
thumbing your prick in the car door
thumbing your prick at a witch
by the thumbing of my prick
by the pricking of my thumbs
ten BIG niggers
ten little niggers
murder most fowl
vile ex's of the rich and famous
murder most foul
Orlando Bloom swapping sex view with Australian billionaire
sex lives of the rich and famous
Orlando Bloom swapping ex wives with Australian billionaire schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi, schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi crikey
Orlando Bloom swapping vegemite with Australian billionaire, crikey
Orlando Bloom swapping ex wives with Australian billionaire
schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi, schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi
Justin Bieber Falcon Punch, son
Justin Bieber punch colon fans
punching Justin Bieber in the colon
Sawk & Throh
Ahegao Ikeda
Boston Mindrape Fetter
Boston Fire Department
Anal Lady BFD Kroner
an eraser of love
Fry End Krona Ballad
Rayon Bladder Flank
Leonard Frank Baldy
trendsbians
shanking dinosaurs with agent fiftyseven in your autofill cache
Dinosaurs 'shanked' regularly to become jailbirds
Dinosaurs 'shrank' regularly to become birds
the waffles were waffletastic
Orlando Bloom should be knighted for alleged Justin Bieber punch colon fans
wondering if the waffles were waffletastic
that you will probably make waffles again this weekend the end
that you will probably make waffles again this weekend
the end
that you got a waffle iron months ago, made waffles, sprinked them with chocolate chips, posted a gif of the sprinking on the amazing Regret Index, and never made waffles again
wondering how the quest for the waffle iron is going
watching a youtube video of two twelve year old girls playing with a condom water balloon
deep throating Christina Ricci
Tuna Labium Gel Two
lending your labia to an inept mule
mule won't tug labia
duh, stay outta Riverdale
beluga tuna milt, ow
male blowing a tutu
ultimate bungalow
living in Chicago's far south suburbs
you just got clitoric acid in my eye
getting citric acid in Jackson C Frank's eye when you were a kid
you just got citric acid in my eye
Its Bread! Indeed!
Pan Desuyo! Desune!
wanting to make Kento a ploughman's bitch for his birthday, cheerio
the McDonald Sandwich
the Candwich
wanting to make Kento a ploughman's lunch for his birthday but not knowing any ploughmen
wanting to make Kento a ploughman's lunch for his birthday, cheerio
wanting to make Kento a beef on weck sandwich for Beef Cow Ken
wanting to make Kento a beef on weck sandwich for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a hot brown sandwich for his birthday
taking a screenshot of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Canadians, while being able to shrug off cold, are especially vulnerable to sand based attacks, eh
being chinned by a Scottish golem
your level forty eight Cockney Podcaster being slain by a champagne golem
lolcoding the AI for leprous rapewurst to slam Kento NPC's dicks in the car door
wondering when we're going to get around to making the amazing Regret MMORPG
shat rest
the stars
grinding leprous rapewurst for XP
'Bobcat' is a nickname meaning 'sockmule'
'Lembus' is a nickname meaning 'cockboat'
wanting to make Kento a leprous rapewurst grinder for his birthday
leprous rapewurst
mistaking Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis for leprous rapewurst
leprous rapewurst
ultra super powers
Justin Bieber to join Pizza Underground
Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in a Pizza
Dick goes to town on Mumbai teen
Teen gets two hundred and thirty two "teeth" removed in Mumbai
KENTOLUMINESCENT mushrooms
TRIOLUMINESCENT mushrooms
bioluminescent mushrooms
we are all jerkin' it in the gutters, but some of us are looking at the stars
Officer Trannie, we're very upset, we never had the love that every child oughta get
Total Jerk Jedi Knight Geldof
Officer Trannie
Pokemon Lick and Job
Pokemon Cease and Desist
getting a jerk job from Kento Ikeda in the dumpster behind the Regret Index
wondering how it is that names like Schwarzenegger are in your spellcheck dictionary when you install it, but Jedi isn't
Total Jerk, Jedi Knight
Guy Fieri, total jerk
Kento Ikeda, jerk
Justin Bieber, he's a jerk
being the Jerk Regretter and having Opinions on who is and is not a Jerk
wondering if you actually are a jerk, like, you joke about it sometimes but are you really actually a jerk
apparently there are rules
we can't all be celebrities, one of us got really mardy about that the other day and you know for a fact you're not even as famous as Nicole Dieker
HOLY SHIT MAYBE WE'RE ALL CELEBRITIES
wondering if there are two Celebrities Regretter, unknown to one another
wondering what the point of having a Celebrity Regretter is if they're going to remain anonymous, and then wondering, well, what if they're not anonymous to the other regretters, and it's just that they think you're a jerk
the moment is gone
being Force Raped by midichlorians
that's it, nothing is ever going to top that
with the Force Rape Spunk Snuggle Vow, you can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary!
Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in Ibiza with the Wolfgang Puck Pressure Oven
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "coke anus dye"
Guy Fieri seems like the kind of guy who likes to punch his sexual partner when he cums
Togs Reamer, Jedi Knight
reamer togs
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "donkey sauce"
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "guano tree"
wondering what it's like to be in Guy Fieri's "entourage"
wondering what it's like to be in Justin Bieber's "entourage"
retro games
Gorilla, Kleetus, Dirty P, Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in Ibiza
having thought for a very long time that Ibiza sounded like an awful place because of all the drunk clubbers, but hearing that it contained Justin Bieber, Lindsay Lohan, Sean Combs and Paris Hilton in one restaurant in one evening really confirming it
Gorilla, Kleetus, and Dirty P
Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Allegedly Get into Scuffle in Ibiza
with the Wolfgang Puck Pressure Oven, you can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary!
Massenbegegnungen
seeing Dick for the first time in like two years and being iin a world of pain
getting your teeth pulled by Dick on Rough Sex Monday
being slightly frightened of Dick
having the same Dick work on you as worked on your mom
all those Dick pictures in your news feed
recommending Dick to your friends and family
the poor selection of magazines in Dick's waiting room
letting the hygienist work you over for so long only to get about thirty seconds of Dick
making an appointment for Dick months in advance
sitting through forty five minutes of agony with Bill only to get slapped with a huge dick
sitting through forty five minutes of agony with Dick only to get slapped with a huge bill
reclining in a comfortable chair waiting for Dick
coming out from under the gas and feeling like Dick has been everywhere on your body
gargling mouthwash to get the taste of Dick out of your mouth
biting down on Dick when he got too rough
instinctively licking Dick
getting drilled twice by Dick in one day
going crappie fishing with Dick
spending time with Myke Hawke in your man cave
spending time with Dick in your man cave
the deformation of character swan
his name really is Dick
wondering if your dentist is really called Dick or if you were just throwing me a bone
deformation of character
feeling numb, then sore for a couple of days after Dick has been working your jaw
gagging uncontrollably whenever Dick is in your mouth
wanting Dick to clean your teeth
asking someone vaguely familiar with Pokemon to draw Pikachu from memory, then making a Pokemon based on it
Dedenne
nope, it's Dick
wondering if your dentist's name is Gary
your dentist writing the facebook post "mexican shrimp cocktastic" with no photo or context
eating the shrimp cocktail in Mexico
your dentist writing the facebook post "mexican shrimp cocktail" with no photo or context
your father's bagel shirt
wondering if Vegan PARTICULATE Gravy is the Celebrity Regretter
wondering if PARTICULATE Gravy is the Celebrity Regretter
wondering if Wavy Gravy is the Celebrity Regretter
Canadian Dollar Tree and Family Canadian Dollar merging to become Canadian Dollar Canadian Dollar, eh
Kroner Tree and Family Kroner merging to become Kroner Kroner
Hugh Nanton Romney
the strip mall parking lot segment of the relationship industry
the lick job segment of the food service industry
the deep throating segment of retail
Dollar Tree and Family Dollar merging to become Dollar Dollar
the deep discount segment of retail
feeling kind of let down that Father Hyacinth never uses his bagel shirt
the world was younger than today
feeling kind of let down that Father Hyacinth never uses his lightsaber
peppermint bark
The One Where Ross and Marcel Brooklyn Bridge Joey
drawing a picture of Joey being Brooklyn Bridged by Ross and Marcel
always thinking that Ross and Marcel would have been a better match than any of the other F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
always thinking that Ross and Chandler would have been a better match than any of the other F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
always thinking that Rachel and Chandler would have been a better match than any of the other F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
could he BE any more toxic
agent bing
agent geller
agent green
agent orange
A fencer is always in danger of revealing his intentions to his adversary, and that he must never do
he must have looked at every girl in Europe but he's coming
Roswan Honkhonksky
okay, I'll allow it, just this once
for six years
in CinemaScope
but it leads to swans not kissing kids
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kill a dog
that is not a valid Regret Index Approved Substitution, sorry
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may hold a dog
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may thrill a dog
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kiss a dog
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kill a dog
I'm done now
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may hold a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may thrill a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kiss a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kill a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may hold a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may thrill a cat
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may kiss a cat
the very idea of a place where a swan is subject to temporal laws existing
our SIX year mission, to boldly go where no man may kill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may hold a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may thrill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kiss a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no swan may kill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may hold a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may thrill a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kiss a cat
our five year mission, to boldly go where no man may kill a cat
where no man may kill a cat
turning into Kento, shitshitshitshitshitshitshit
Chair Cannot Find Work or Love Like Human Being
Chair Mooches and Complains Like Human Roommate
Chair Feels and Smells Like Human Skin
Biker Mice From Mars
Episodes of 'Star Wars' with All The Canadians Removed
Episodes of 'Star Wars' with All The Racist Caricatures Removed
Episodes of 'Tanks for Nothing' with All the Eiffel Towering Removed
bottoming for Dong Chi in Copulated Chocolate Pudding IV
the Jokes Removed
Go's Catamaran Farm
Episodes of 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' and 'The Big Bang Theory' with All the Jokes Removed
Magna Carta of Mars
making Kento copulated dong chi at four am
making Kento inculcated god hop at four am
making Kento chocolate pudding at four am
making chocolate pudding at four am
Blackbeard Theatarr
making Kento wide anal crash stains in the parking lot in front of Subway
making Kento an artisanal sandwich in the parking lot in front of Subway
BLUEBottle Theater
BlackBottle Theater
BattleBlock Theater
Kento's wide anal crash stains
entering the regret "Kento's artisanal sandwiches" when you meant to write "Kento's art is anal sandwiches"
wanting to make Kento an artisanal sandwich for his birthday
Kento's artisanal sandwiches
drawing and quartering Kento ass to mouth
drawing Kento ass to mouth
drawing Kento seiuchi to podcaster
drawing Kento tako to ama
drawing Kento futanari
bottoming for Roman Polanski in Juvenile Paddle V
The Goonies 'R' Good Enough
watching juvenile paddle at five am
being that eaten soup that gives you diarrhea
eating that bean soup that gives you diarrhea
vegan soy distant thunder
watching adult swim at five am
soi disant thunder
dicks and lightning
tits and thunder
distant thunder
selling Pokemon and Pokemon accessories
A young boy in one of the polar regions finds a group of Spheal, Sealeo and Walrein, when a meteor crashes down, frightening the Pokemon and making them take turns Eiffel Towering the boy with Professor Oak
A young boy in one of the polar regions finds a group of Spheal, Sealeo and Walrein, when a meteor crashes down, frightening the Pokemon and making them run towards the sea, trapping the boy in the middle of them
Visitor from the Sky Splitting Colon Deoxys
New Tork City
damn Ro
Emperor of the Crystal Tower Colon Entei
Rodman
wondering what Pokemon designer thought the a dragon made of snot is supercool
wondering what a concentration camp guard in the Pokemon universe would be like, like would there just be one guy or doll who frowned a lot and was very stern, or would there be thousands of identical guards in one place at the same time
Diggersby is nightmare fuel if ever there was any
Pokemon Drano and Fatberg
Goodra
no my friend it lays an egg
is there a chance the track could bend
from his perspective it's probably the same thing
I think that's what you meant to write
drawing a picture of Kento being walridden by a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being walridden by a walrider
a German demon which exhales alibi fist pervert cum
a German demon which exhales vampiric butterflies
Subwal
Baculum Robbins
they might have Vegan Steak n Shake
doubting they even have Steak n Shake in India
according to the Kama Sutra, Eiffel Towering is above all a characteristic of eunuchs or, according to other translations, of fat homosexuals similar to the modern Ikeda of Oregon who use their mouths and anuses as a substitute for walrus genitalia
denting your friend on Facebook, and just now getting a newsfeed message that he likes dentistry
being surprised that Baskin Robbins still exists
Choose Well
Eat Fresh
The Way A Sandwich Should Be
Right Before Your Eyes
What a Sandwich
The Place Where Fresh is the Taste
My Way
friending your dentist on Facebook, and just now getting a newsfeed message that he likes dentistry
that, for the record, there was in fact a Subway in said strip mall, along with an H&R Block, a Baskin Robbins, and a pet grooming place
wondering what the Kama Sutra has to say about lick jobs
deep throating Stephen Fry in the parking lot of a strip mall
according to the Kama Sutra, fellatio is above all a characteristic of eunuchs or, according to other translations, of effeminate homosexuals or transwomen similar to the modern Hijra of India, who use their mouths as a substitute for female genitalia
Cynopterus sphinx
getting a lick job from a trannie parrot in the Unleashed next to Steak n Shake
filling out the US Census Bureau website satisfaction survey as a result of going there to do research for a lick job parrot regret
actually going to the US Census Bureau website and looking through the economic census to try and work out which retailers are most commonly found in strip malls, all for the purposes of writing the previous regret
getting a lick job from someone you're in a relationship with in the parking lot in front of Subway
getting fellated in the parking lot of a strip mall last night, and, yeah, it's not like it was in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, but even though it was from someone you're in a relationship with you still feel like you really need a shower
Pokemon Skiing and Chariot
Smartphone App Used To Determine How Gut Bacteria Tell Our Life Story
Pokemon Intertards and Waffletastic
Pokemon Bigger and Boat
Fisherman Megalodon
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Fisherman Lydon and a Basculin
Fireman Lydon
Fisherman Paff
Fisherman Lydon
smoking forty pounds of ribs erryday fourtwenty blaze it
smoking forty pounds of ribs
dirtying a lady
waking up with the lyrics of "Simpsons Dirtied a Lady" running through your head and no idea why
Simpsons dirtied a lady
Simpsons already did it
that you actually just created the word intertard from scratch when you wrote that regret, but it seems that the internet and urbandictionary already had it
kind of liking the word "waffletastic"
thrips
kind of liking the word "intertards"
going through a phase
Don Bluth's Kento AS
Kento After Skullfuck
Kento After Dentist
supermarkets with no phone signal
that was how she air quoted it, you just wondered if she'd been going through a phase
drawing a picture of Kento being Double Rainbowed by Tay Zonday and a sneezing panda
again, I have to say this, she's not a quote unquote celebrity
reading an article written by Nicole Dieker about her quote unquote celebrity and wondering given the titles of some of her songs and the genuine remorse she seems to feel whether she posted here and had claimed to be a celebrity
Kento is more of a celebrity than Nicole Dieker
so, are we going to start calling intertards like Chris chan and Boxxy celebrities now too
she was very nearly an Internet Celery
she was an Internet Celebrity
Nicole Dieker is not a celebrity, ergo she is not the Celebrity Regretter
drawing a picture of Kento eating shit covered waffles with Chris Lydon on the Eiffel Tower
drawing a picture of Kento eating
drawing a picture of Kento being
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Christina Ricci and a waffle
the canopy above the sea
wondering if Nicole Dieker is not the Celebrity Regretter, but posts here anyway
licking Danish remoulade off of Christina Ricci's erect penis
wondering if Nicole Dieker is the Celebrity Regretter
The Swan's Name is Ingrid
T Rex Has Feelings
the man don't slather a donkey sauce
the man don't put a donk
the the edge in your thrill
the bono in your hold
a man putting a donk on it
the bob geldof in your kill
the sting in your kiss
giving two shits right across from the sea
taking a shit right across from the sea
taking a seat right across from the sea
wondering if there is a database out there of all the fake phone numbers used in fiction, and which characters share a number
bottoming for AC Anal in Saved By the Balls VII
a canal
a plan
a man
putting a donk on it
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters
Real Ghostbusters
EIGHTY THOUSAND AND ONE is the natural number that comes after EIGHTY THOUSAND and before EIGHTY THOUSAND AND TWO
Real Bi
eighty thousand is the natural number that comes after seventy nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine and before eighty thousand and one
putting all this pressure on me
that you have nothing for eighty thousand, so you're not going to write any more regrets until it has passed
Bel Air
your neighborhood
the school
the playground
West Philadelphia
Philadelphia
he's a miracle
Slash Gordon
Slash Springsteen
can you tell me how to get, how to get to the streets of Philadelphia
it's like someone took a knife baby, edgy and dull, this old man came rolling home
Fanmade Horsecrap, Jedi Knight
that Black & White truly had the shittiest looking Pokemon ever, half of them look like they were from a different game and the other half looked like fanmade horsecrap
bottoming for Hung Evan in Having Fun VII
hung if van
having fun
in, out, in, out, you blow your brains out,
calling Courtney Love up on stage to do the cokey hobo with you
calling Courtney Cox up on stage to do the hokey pokey with you
this gun's for hire, oh, hands, shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes
Old MacDonald went down to the river, e i e i o
bracing for the arrival of the Children's Folk Song Slash Bruce Springsteen Lyrics Mashup Bandit
eating the same girth as David Spade
being the same girth as David Spade
Hey little girl is your froggy home, did he go a courtin' and leave you all alone
Philadelphia mom, daughter die from injuries sustained in food truck explosion, girls ain't nothing but trouble
James Spader, I hardly knew 'er!
being the same length as David Spade
getting up in this big non treasure havin' bastard
James Spader spaying David Spade using a shovel
being the same height as David Spade
confusing James Spader with David Spade
wishing you had Ferris Bueller's day off
now having the lyrics of "Froggy Went A Courting" stuck in your head because of the "mmm hmm" crossover with "I'm On Fire"
waking up late at night with the sheets soaking wet and the lyrics of "That Lady" running through the middle of your head
waking up with the lyrics of "That Lady" running through your head and no idea why
that an erection lasting more than four hours is a precious gift to be shared with as many people as possible
wondering how frequently nine one one operators get calls from dudes with erections lasting more than four hours
that Kevin James is only an inch taller than David Spade
you'd even settle for Parker Lewis's
wishing you had Ferris Bueller's life
deep throating Cameron Frye
here every day
cleaning Stephen Fry
just waving or drowning
wishing you understood what you do here, in the sense of not knowing if you're actually trying to achieve something by posting here every day
not having fallen down stairs or fainted unexpectedly or been struck by a moving vehicle or anything like that in years and feeling as though you're now missing out
Stephen Fry
lolcoding your boobs when you run down the stairs deep cleaning Stephen Fry
lolcoding your boobs when you run down the stairs
deep cleaning Stephen Fry
that you're not serious
Tomorrow Belongs to MB, and by the way, Achtung MB
Tomorrow Belongs to MB
Tomorrow Belongs To Me
discovering that you are several years older than the median age for your local area
people, or person, as it sometimes seems
lord how you hope people understand what you do here
promising to make regret one hundred thousand "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" if you remember, and also if people understand that you're not serious
Peaches Geldof died of heroin overdose, had been on methadone colon coroner
remembering when we hit ten thousand on the old 'dex and it felt like we reached some supreme, unsurpassable goal
forty thousand feeling like just yesterday
not having anything prepared for eighty thousand
feeding your Muk nutmuck
feeding your Muk muktuk
we're almost to eighty thousand
Backdoor Sluts IX makes Crotch Capers III look like Naughty Nurses II
wanting to make Kento a glove puppet for his birthday
Henry Hubbard, Jr
the National Screaming Fisheries Development Board
the National Fisheries Development Board
treating a tree to tea at three
Tree Tree tree tree treed by tree
Marc Tree memorial tree killed by tree
Marc Bolan memorial swan ridden by Tree Rex
Marc Bolan memorial tree eaten by T Rex
Marc Bolan memorial tree killed by tree
Keith Moon memorial tree killed by someone
wanting to make Kento a kayak for his birthday
Kurt Cobain memorial tree killed by Buddhists
Davy Jones memorial tree killed by monkeys
George Harrison memorial tree killed by beetles
Mainus is relaxed
Rogue wave kisses mom in Maui
Rogue wave kills mom in Maui
bottoming for Sir Sully Badger in Sly Ribald Urges VII, cheerio
SHARKS #Eiffeling
JETS #Eiffeling
Sly Bridal Urges, Sir Sully Badger
Fans #Eiffeling
Sly Bridal Urges
Sir Sully Badger
Ludger Sylbaris
The Eiffeling Adventure
Towering Kento
Booby Doo
it was revealed that a new engine mechanic was created to make her ponytail move
Due to reused audio files, she sounds like a walrus when Eiffel Towering Kento
Due to reused audio files, she sounds like a male when grunting raking all those hoes
Due to reused audio files, she sounds like a male when grunting
raking all those hoes
shoe joke
hoe jokes
rake jokes
suddenly feeling a twinge of guilt about your own TRIPLE standards
this term for a long handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker
the teacher's lounge is for teachers, Willie
suddenly feeling a twinge of guilt about your own double standards
Category Colon Freeballers' wives and girlfriends
Category Colon Footballers' wives and girlfriends
licking garum off of Christophorus Lydonus's erect gladius
troll galaxies discovered 'dancing' around their elf counterparts
not so far
wondering if Gary has ever signed his name "Garum"
garum
takoyaki
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect aebelskivers
aebelskivers
When people sit down to be a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about eats two guys having sex
When people sit down to be a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex
the spacecraft is spun from carbon fiber and imagination
When people sit down to eat a steakburger, the first thing they want to be thinking about is getting a lick job from a trannie hooker
When people sit down to write a regret, the first thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex
When people sit down to eat a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is Five Guys having sex
When people sit down to eat a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex
Dwarf galaxies discovered 'dancing' around their giant counterparts
Joe Biden once looked at Putin
Nikita Levy
seeing Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one penis and a bottle of champagne in the other
seeing Chris Lydon going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other
meeting Danish turtles
drinking champagne out of Chris Lydon's erect penis
licking Chris Lydon's Danish
having impure thoughts about a teenage yeoman roar
two men enter, one man leaves, cheerio
sleep will shoot your eye
sleep will close your eyes
Las Menudos
Las Meninas
having impure thoughts about a teenage Rooney Mara
having impure thoughts about a teenage Mia Sara
Man accused of double murder in South Park ordered held without bail
wondering if Brian Henson does Muppet voices during sex
that Matthew Horseface is probably happier with someone his own height
learning that Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off married Jim Henson's son
Adolph Luetgert
wondering if Matthew Broderick ever regrets not hooking up with super hot Mia Sara and getting stuck with Ol' Horseface
Mad Max Colon Fury Road
choking on the Sausage King of Chicago
eating the Sausage King of Chicago
being the Sausage King of Chicago
someone needs to make a video of a walrus blowing itself set to Yello's "Oh Yeah"
Time Trax
drawing a picture of two men entering super hot Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off while a third man leaves
two men enter, one man leaves
she was super hot
learning that Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off married Sean Connery's son
getting so used to soy teats that cow's udders look weird
getting so used to soy milk that cow's milk tastes weird
Grant, and a broom handle
Tory manages to blend a cow brain, spread it on a bull penis, and tightly twist said bull penis into knots with the help of Kari, Grant, and a broom handle
i can has horzecock
garlic kid balls
a bizarre, striated, and earthwormlike penis is, according to Kento, ideal
a long, thin, and springy penis is, according to Grant, ideal
yes we can horse cock
canned horsecock
garlic dog balls
eating lion peckers
chinchilla chinchin
those sexagesimal Sumerians
picking a peck of pickled penguin peckers
throwing a party and forgetting you invited Andrew Zimmern and having to drive all the way to Bulk Knackers to pick up ten pounds of llama cocks
buying a gross of goose gonads
at our Nigerian parties, every table will have a paper plate filled with chin chin
buying a fifty gallon drum of hippo nuts
Kentucky Fried Chinchin
Butt Knickers
trying the meatballs in the food hall
tiger wangs are on sale for one week only
Bulk Knackers
wondering there's a store that's like a Costco for exotic animal genitals
he is so much of it that it comes out his pores
he eats so much of it that it comes out his pores
that's just how he smells
that Andrew Zimmern's favorite smell is muskox scrotum
halving James Mercer and Joe Plummer
smashing Jackson C Frank's shins when you were like, nine or something
that Hayden Christensen's favorite smell is molten silicon
having almost prehensile feet
learning about angular momentum by slipping off the monkey bars and smashing your shin so hard against a low bar that you tore it up, bruised it for weeks around the cut and lost an inch long strip of the fatty layer when you were like, nine or something
halving two shins
having two shins
having two chins
Chinatown only has one chin
having more chins than Chinatown
fuzing James Avery with James Arness
fusing James Avery with James Arness
confusing James Avery with James Arness
The Future of Robot Handjobgivers
confusing James Garner with James Arness
The Future of Robot Caregivers
Sniff test colon Can you match the stars to their weird favorite smells
where we're going we don't need lolcode
where we're going we don't need rough sex Monday
inventing the recent comments capacitor
wondering if Ryan designed the amazing Regret Index to travel through time when it hits eighty eight thousand regrets
smearing regret butter on your genitals before visiting qwantz dot com
qwantz dot com going down on you for like eight hours while reddit dot com watches from afar and masturbates
qwantz dot com going down on you for like eight hours
monumental cock, 'sup
qwantz dot com going down for like eight hours
monumental cock ups
you're gonna need a bigger butt
butt getting autocorrected
you're gonna need a bigger but
really hoping Gary didn't do it
that it faces the house and is surprisingly well executed
most likely
fertilizer
wishing there were a way to make Tusks, in which Kento, Chris Lydon, and Andrew Zimmern are tasked with killing a massive walrus that is menacing a small New England town, and then they all have sex
that they somehow made the grass grow more green and lush to spell what is undeniably the street name
some mystery individual having hilariously somehow managed to write the name of your street on your lawn
drawing a picture of Kento being DeLoreaned by Michael J Fox and a walrus with Parkinson's
wishing there were a way to make the Back to the Eiffel Towering trilogy, in which Kento goes travelling through Boston in various time periods with Doc Lydon, who has trained a walrus to travel through time and Eiffel Tower fat gay Asian men
a planet where walruses evolved from men
wishing there were a way to make Aynatar, in which Kento travels to the alien world of Randora to look for Odobenium
drawing a picture of Kento being digitally inserted by JFK and Fireman Paff
elaborate sex acts, with a famous fireman occasion
elaborate sex acts, with famous icons of Americana
wishing there were a way to make Walroose, in which Kento moves to a small town where, thanks to the local blowhard podcaster, Eiffel Towering has been outlawed, until he wins over the townspeople by being Eiffel Towered just over the county line
wishing there were a way to make Kento Gump, in which Kento goes on a series of adventures in which he meets, then engages in elaborate sex acts, with famous icons of Americana
a lot of good clams died in that war
having flashbacks to the Radar Whelks Revolt
Radar Whelks Revolt
Steward HK Lar Lover
wishing there were a way to make The Kento Coast, in which Kento's family is uprooted to Belize to breed walruses, coming into conflict with the Reverend Lydon
wishing there were a way to make Good Kento Hunting, in which Kento, as a night watchman at the Boston Aquarium, manages to solve a series of incredibly complex sexual positions that Chris Lydon wrote on a blackboard, and then they eventually have sex
the Pope Hat Dick Monster
the Pope Dick Monster
the Poop Lick Monster
LRH said he was a race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident, he came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak
my abalone's muff
my buffalo's mean
wishing there were a way to make Kento Ikeda's Day Off, in which Kento, asked not to come into school until he stops harassing people with stuffed toys, goes on a trip into Boston with Chris Lydon and a walrus in a 'borrowed' aquarium truck
drawing a picture of Ben Stein repeating "Ikeda, Ikeda, Ikeda" and then cutting to Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
bottoming for Nanny Bum in The Pickle Porn Tomes VII Colon Sperm Onto The Pickle
Nanny Bum
sperm onto the pickle
the pickle porn tomes
wanting to dive into your ocean
Bunny Man
the Pope Lick Monster
ostension
Kento be shoppin'
Kento so daffy
Kento's day off
sumo ski
koumiss
dirty gin
clean gin
cleaning
tidying
dignity
seeing two kids humping out of your apartment window
women eat shoppin'
seeing two dogs humping out of your apartment window
women be shoppin'
An allegation that Simon Waffle is gay, was heard by Southwark Crepe Court
that you can't just replace egg with mashed banana when baking thunderstorms
that you can't just shut down all the banana mashers on the neonatal level and replace them with egg scramblers
that you can't just replace egg with mashed banana when baking
thunderstorms
underwear's slit
An allegation that Simon Cowell is Aslan, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
An allegation that Simon Cowell is Asian, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
An allegation that Simon Cowell is fat, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
Resident Walrus
An allegation that Simon Cowell is gay, was heard by Southwark Crown Court
Swan City
great minds thinking about waffles alike
manumising yourself from anal bondage by taking the hugest dump
regret number seven six two eight eight
anal bondage
drawing a picture of Kento being Waffle Towered by Crepes de Lyon and a waffle
Waffle City
Walrus City
Raccoon City
tots these days, with their Pit Bulls and their iPhones and their anal bondage
he's a gob getting a facial
hoebags getting a facial
crimes
hoebags
getting a facial
anal bondage tot baby preys on vulnerable celebrities
catching anal bondage tot, baby
catching a boat to England, baby
well, I guess I should get to buying that ticket to England for the trial
easily
hundreds
guessing that Jason Bateman has at least a couple dozen dead toddlers buried under his house
drawing a picture of Ryan Reynolds having an attitude about getting a facial
there's just something about his facial attitude
Ryan Reynolds especially
kind of suspecting all celebrities of being disease ridden junkie hoebags
kind of suspecting all celebrities of some monstrous, unspecified crimes
always suspecting that Stephen King was a pedophile
kind of liking Stand By Me and Explorers but not wanting to write home about them
the quote is trying to convince the reader that something was far more valuable and important than it actually was, so, yeah
that the first two results for that quote about River Pheonix are some kind of dodgy loan spam websites
naming your son River Bottom
Last time Rupert sought to buy Warner, he assigned three New York Post journalists to investigate its CEO to assist in a lawsuit he'd filed against the company
so basically my son is Jesus
Chernobyl wasn't enough, Exxon Valdez wasn't enough, a bloody war over oil wasn't enough, if River's passing opens our global heart, then I say, thanks dear, beloved son, for yet another gift to all of us
fair trade vegan heroin
every narcotic mankind invented, all at the same time
she also failed to recognize how much better he was than not only her but everyone else in the restaurant
honestly suspecting that River Phoenix wasn't crying for the crabs, but because he had failed to impose his will on another human being
marveling that River Phoenix weeped to see someone order softshell crab but had no qualms about injecting himself with every narcotic mankind invented, all at the same time making it through to Xanadu
vegan heroin
marveling that River Phoenix weeped to see someone order softshell crab but had no qualms about injecting himself with every narcotic mankind invented, all at the same time
making it through to Xanadu
hmm, telling me about your childhood
o, no soot!
too soon
bottoming for "Hugest" River Phoenix in Stand By Me And Rotate Your Foreskin VII
drawing a picture of Jaoquin and "Hugest" River Phoenix rotating their foreskins together
Joaquin Phoenix's Foreskin Rotated
poor little white walrus
blackwater walrusing
taking the hugest noisy river white water walrusing
presumably
that he is also in a tax haven
that James Blunt has not been dispatched to the Ukraine because he is still taking the hugest dump
trying to do an impression of Randy Savage but it sounding like Matt Foley
Joaquin Phoenix's Forehead Rotated
Polanskeens
pretweens
tweens
dark matter cupcakes
smugglin a panda out of China
not studygring aphic design in college
puking into a bucket
that the first regret to mention walruses on the old 'dex was "dating somebody who collected walruses"
white water walrusing
wondering why James Blunt has not been dispatched immediately to the Ukraine in order to prevent World War III
hungover sissy rite
reservist is hung, yo
virgin hues oysters
hugest noisy rivers
universe shits orgy
seething rosy virus
very serious things
Ryan waffles
wondering if making three time long board derby champion Ryan Q North the ultimate arbiter of morality and conscience is a sound plan in mouse voice
the death of Drop Dead Fred
wondering if making three time long board derby champion Ryan Q North the ultimate arbiter of morality and conscience is a sound plan
wondering if a report system would genuinely improve the site or simply send the message that it is inappropriate to regret certain very serious things
it's probably because someone keeps mailing him sand filled items
hearing the music ring from the mountaintops
welcoming Hayden Christensen to the amazing Regret Index and asking why he hates sand so much, beyond it being coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere
having horrific flashbacks to watching Eragon, OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit
he who would trade money for love will have neither
Sources Colon Cavs Willing To Trade Wiggins For Love
welcoming Jewel to the amazing Regret Index and asking if she can sign your spoon
a swan slamming your boobs in the car door in the Penn State showers
it's got to be either Eiffel Tower or swan related
loading your hanugrum
did you slam your dick in the car door
I guess if you told us which regrets give you flashbacks to being abused, we could stop writing ones of that type
that the report submission process would only lead to Ryan anyway
nice to see you too
a handgun filled with anagrams
also, lots of anagrams
visiting this shitty fucking website that has no report submission button so that scrolling through regrets is like playing russian roulette with a handgun with half the chambers filled with panic attacks and crippling flashbacks of being abused
referring to, even
re Episode II as Episode JJ
Star Wars Episode II Colon Billy and the Cloneasaurus
Malaysia Airlines
drawing a picture of Kento blowing the leaves out on the lawn
Billy and the Cloneasaurus is a better title than Attack of the Clones
you ain't buying or selling today
Billy and the Cloneasaurus
drawing a picture of the wind that blows the leaves out on the lawn
drawing a picture of two crayfish frolicking in a stream
drawing a picture of something pleasant for a change
drawing a picture of Michael Gove crying in the toilets on his first day at a new job
drawing a picture of Michael Gove flogging Larry Craig's wide guy tunnel with his bizarre, striated, whiplike penis
getting a text from Michael Gove that just says "I'm a whip guy"
getting a text from Larry Craig that just says "I'm a wide guy"
Larry Craig
taking your whip into the toilet with you
Mr Gove "managed to get stuck in the toilet in the wrong lobby and he nearly broke his own whip"
there has always been a counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my memory hole
A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my asshole!
A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my K hole!
A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my car hole!
counterfeit panties
playing Dungeons & Dragons with early gay geese
realizing that your underwear has "authentic" embroidered all the way around the waistband, which is super convincing
that knowing your luck the Mystery Texter is probably some needlessly complicated attempt by an intelligence agency to gain your trust, in case you're some kind of terrorist
wondering if the Mystery Texter is Gary Gygax
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Felonius Candace
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Gary Eagle Eyes
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Felonius Eagle Eyes
Your character may have a normal name, like "Gary" or "Candace," or may have a fantasy name like "Felonius," or just a nickname, like "Eagle Eyes"
All You Need is Thrill
All You Need Is Hold
All You Need Is Kiss
All You Need Is Kill
Miracinonyx inexpectatus
Chaste, eh
Cheetahs
The Chase
introducing Myke Hawke to Jacques Strap
putting Myke Hawke parts in Myke Hawke strap
preventing flat head syndrome
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND
putting your jock parts in a jock strap
jock parts
the famous transvestite French ball carrier, Jacques Strap
the famous French ball carrier, Jacques Strap
Casey Kasem's wife turning out to be Old Man Petersen
strapping a strapping jock named Jock into a jock strap
Casey Kasem has not been buried, remains in morgue
lubricating Hank's narrow tits oink pizza with Jewel's nude thong thong fluid
Hank's narrow tits oink pizza
eating Hank tits oink pizza, ow
being the pizza in Mexico
eating the pizza in Mexico
eating a pizza with poutine on it, eh
slicing nakko's pizza
eating a pizza with nakkos on it that looked a lot like Christina Ricci
I am not a pizza with nakkos on it, I am a free man
being a pizza with nakkos on it
eating a pizza with nakkos on it
child rape and ritualistic murder
nothing says "break free from the mundane and embrace life" like child rape and ritualistic murder
little girls gorge you, your greatest mistake
Boston divorce
anonymous truck stop hammer time
anonymous telegram stop sex stop
mouse voice truck stop sex
celebrity truck stop sex
anonymous truck stop sex
stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie
promising to check into a hotel as Seaman Hairskewer sjould you ever need a pseudonym
Boston marriage
Ascension Guns Island
ascension guns
gum plus butts
bottoming for Ron Pro Torpedo in Shaft Shielded Ray VII
the shaft is ray shielded so you'll have to use proton torpedoes
probably because of all the skeevy guys asking to watch
lesbian couples in committed relationships have less sex than any other type of couple, and they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts
this is a late parrot regret, it's a stiff, bereft of life, it rests in peace
How I Met The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Your Mother
this is a belated parrot regret
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & YOUR MOTHER
TerraCycle
winning the Twenty Sexy Teen Ballot with seventeen votes
Plan to Split California Into Sex States May Make Twenty Sexy Teens Ballot
Plan to Split California Into Sex States May Make Twenty Sixteen Ballot
Plan to Split California Into Six States May Make Twenty Sixteen Ballot
Seaman Hairskewer
Midshipman Scaleknife
I would rather not
Rape a Two Shift Dancer
Captain Feathersword
I compare you to a kiss from a drone on the grey
Seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes
an elephant seal mating with a rusty set of bagpipes
Ye Race Killer
El Real, crikey
Lee "Lacy" Riker
Caerrie Kelley
using four e's
Bruce Wayne Junior
Lee "Lacey" Riker
Carrie Kelley
Quickly, Boy Wonder! To the Fudge Tunnel!
a couple of guys and some boys
it's also full of men
wondering why Batman's lair is called the Batcave and not the 'dungeon'
really it would be more accurately called the Shitcave
it's full of bats and bat guano
wondering why Batman's lair is called the Batcave and not the Mancave
Police Colon Man's archnemesis, the Slap Slap Slapper
Police Colon Man and his sidekick, the Boy Anus
Police Colon Man hoped to take child prostitute to 'dungeon'
PIVOT! PIVOT! PIVOT!
International Secret Police Colon A Barrel of Gunpowder
bottoming for ten homos in X Homines X
X Homines, Non Homo
X Homines
Ego, Robotum
Iter Stellare
Quadruple Rat's Trek Colon Heavy Goo Theme
Quintuple Rat's Trek
Rat's Trek
bias listing every Star Trek episode
stabilising every Star Trek episode
StarTrekStabilized
'Randy' guinea pig breaks into female enclosure, impregnates one hundred females
kentoketsu
hamukento
seiuchiketsu
hamuketsu, desu ne
hamukatsu
hamuketsu
drawing a picture of Toto being Eiffel Towered by Yoko and Jakamoko
Reddit Fourchan, Jedi Knight
Reddit of the Jedi
we should have each other with vegan cream
we should have each other to dinner
all the years and no one heard
Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto!
totally not screwing up there at all
that colon isn't as funny in Latin
Bella Stellaria Episodium VI Reditus Jedi
Bella Stellaria Episodium V Imperium Repulsat
Bella Stellaria Episodium IV Nova Spes
Bella Stellaria Episodium III Ultio Sith
Bella Stellaria Episodium II Impetus Clonum
Bella Stellaria Episodium I Colon Phantasma Minax
not knowing if you have ever seen Psycho, which probably means you saw it while stoned in college
Georgius Walton Lucas minor
Gulielmus Iohannes Neeson
Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Neeson
that Psycho is always seen as an amazing genre defining thriller and a work of filmmaking art, but its last scene is a bland man in a suit flatly, dryly explaining the whole plot of the movie
strapping in and feeling the Gs, if you know what I mean
having sex with Liam Neeson by
you don't have sex with Liam Neeson, you strap yourself in and feel the Gs
having sex abeam of Liam Neeson
having sex by Liam Neeson
by being first looked for, then found, then having sex with Liam Neeson
by
being first looked for, then found, then having sex with Liam Neeson
that you have a roughly seventy five percent chance of having sex with someone who has appeared on the cover of Saga Magazine within the next forty eight hours
Soren H Assmann
the one we never talk about
bloody cricket
Liam Neeson on the cover of Saga Magazine
Bebop Ho's infamous rivalry with Barren Pepsi P
Detached Brothels with Bebop Ho
being mah na mah na
Deathbed Chortles with Bob Hope
I am not an anime! I am not an anime! I am a human being!
pretty much every scene with Obi Wan and Qui Gon
two bored, uninterested men engaged in the act of buggery
being inane ma
being an amine
Tijuana Bibles Geldof
being an anime
Guadalajara Books of Mormon
Myke Occyx
socking Myke Hawke
getting socked in the coccyx
cocking all those socks
Zapopan Vedas
Juarez Qurans
Leon Torahs
Tijuana Bibles
slamming your socks in the car door
socking all those cocks
wondering if R Kelly ever recorded a cover of My Sharona
wondering if R Kelly ever recorded a cover of Golden Showers
wondering if Louis Armstrong ever recorded a cover of Golden Showers
wondering if Louis Armstrong ever recorded a cover of Golden Slumbers
George Bestial
The Wards
Christopher Joseph Ward
fay WRAY in "QUEEF" by Ima Cocksocker
CJ Ramone
spending QUEEF on squid's milk at a PETA convention
Quasi Universal Electrical Energy Factory
Quasi Universal Intergalactic Money
The Ramone
Quasi Universal Intergalactic Denomination
a poetic social mission
skat, a common term of endearment
Peaches Ramone
Marky Ramone
Richard Garriott
Ramones
the death of Tommy Ramone and by extension the death of The Ramones
not getting the fay wray thing
Ego Dreck, Rah
Gored Rack, Eh
Grade Choker
Orchard Geek
Hardcore Keg
Harder Gecko
Croak Hedger, Jedi Knight
Croak Hedger is a genius because he knows exactly what people want and precisely how far he can go
stopping Scott Stapp's hot tap
Chad Kroeger is a genius because he knows exactly what people want and precisely how far he can go drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
this criticism seems to only be pandering to critics of the band
In an interview about the forty five minute video, Stapp said he did not believe oral sex was actual sex
most people hate Creed's combination of overwrought power balladry and Christian infused testosterone
honestly not remembering Creed at all
edging out Justin Bieber
strippers, sex, prostitutes, drugs, sex, drinking and sex
upping the ante by offering realistic storytelling that listeners can relate to
Chad Kroeger is a genius because he knows exactly what people want and precisely how far he can go
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
fay WRAY in "QUEER" by Ima Cocksocker
compensating for your ordinary shoes
making the COSIGN of a wave
making the sign of a wave
taking her for granted because she pleases you
actually kind of having an oral sex fixation
that Difficult English Wikipedia's only rule is "Fuck's sake it's not hard to get right, is it, what did you do that for"
that the Simple English Wikipedia's manual of style only permits photographic illustration on non biographical articles if all persons in the image are peasants in a pastoral idyll
Feynman oral sex fixation
a picture is worth a thousand more
a picture is worth a thousand words
wondering why the Simple English Wikipedia article on fisting fails to include the shot of the guy dressed as a schoolgirl with the hand up his ass
that's so weird, I was just listening to that song like five minutes ago
Feynman oral sex notation
any picture on the wikipedia article for Fisting
BADALAMBA BADALAMBA BADALAMBA BADALAMBA BADALAMBARABAMBADABADA
just to draw a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered at yiur door
I would write ten thousand more
Feynman axel rose notation
that we've written more than ten thousand regrets since the comments got deleted
Feynman slash notation
fourth, actually
the third picture on the wikipedia article for Fisting
ear urea children playing the guitar
North Korea children playing the guitar
That's a urinal dot wmv
being a huge anal dragonfly nymph
being a minute anal nympho
being a huge anal nympho
watching Frank Reps OP videos and youtube and not being able to identify whether he or she is male or female
watching forksnappers videos and youtube and not being able to identify whether he or she is male or female
SHIRT EXAM, MOO
HAREMS OMIT OX
MAXIM HOOTERS
HOMO MATRIXES
illustrating an ad titled "Woman is twenty eight but looks fifty three" with a picture of Lindsay Lohan
illustrating an ad titled "Woman is fifty three but looks twenty seven" with a picture of a woman who does not look twenty seven
XERODERMATIC
PROTHROMBINS
HOMEROMASTIX
Disgraceful photo of recreational hunter happily posing next to a Triceratops he just slaughtered
Did you mean colon ZUper BlahQ
ZBsuebsljgQh
ever saying you would attempt to understand Spambot's diabolically short messages
MACROGLOSSATE
MICROFLOPPIES
NCmpFuafxXcHk
an island where the people are kind and the rest of the world seems far away
having a question to ask but then forgetting what it was
Chrome being super slow all week to the point that you wonder if it's bugged and slowing down your laughably poor rural connection or just buggy on the current build
drawing a picture of Kento being stuffed by a taxidermist, and then later led over to give anal approval on the Chris Lydon and walrus diarrhea Kento ordered
wondering if we should do something special for eighty thousand
drawing a picture of Kento being stuffed by a taxidermist, and then later led over to give anal approval on the Chris Lydon and walrus diorama Kento ordered
drawing a picture of Kento being stuffed by a taxidermist, and then later led over to give final approval on the Chris Lydon and walrus diorama Kento ordered
wanting to find a taxidermist who could not only stuff Chris Lydon after he dies, but also realistically create the Eiffel Towering scene
wondering if you can request that the mortician not actually braid your penis to someone's after death
you can request anything
wondering if you can request that the mortician actually braid your penis to someone's after death
always wanting to call it The French Prince Who Looks Like Janice Dickinson
always wanting to call it The French Prince
Will Smith is now running a couple co projects more than Uncle Phil was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince
Will Smith is now older than Uncle Phil was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince
a cow who brings urea to then hooks up with Ryan North and Ryan South
a cow who brings urea to North Korea and South Korea
a cow who brings peace to Israel and Palestine
Picariketroi LaCrusher
Entrance of the RoFo
momma always saying that life was like a luxury yacht, you never know what the hookers are gonna do until you overdose on heroin
rubbing spider eggs into your eyes or dying
being caught in a fatal sex web with spiders, for spiders, by spiders
EXACTO
starting a new career with urea in your ear in North Korea
Fatal Spider Attraction
being caught in a beeswax flat
rubbing sex spider eggs in your eyes
being caught in a fatal sex spider web
STEAK, SHAKE, DUMPSTER, PROSTITUTION
GOOGLE, MURDER, OVERDOSE, PROSTITUTION
being caught in a fatal sex web WITH SPIDERS
being caught in a fatal sex web
tortles
watching Google video promos for Prestige luxury yachts and wondering if rich guys really do just do heroin in a fifty foot yacht covered with busty, murderous hookers
Forrest Timothy Hayes
that Homer Simpson really does look like Dan Aykroyd
Dan Aykroyd Unplugged on UFOs
Kim Kardashian Loony Hollow Cod
feels like there's a comma missing there
Kim Kardashian Colon Hollywood
Guzzle
Netfux
ClapChat
Gspotify
WhatSlapslapslappingsounds Messenger
MineCraft Colon Pocket Pool Edition
Horny Birds
TweetDick
cumblr
there are already like a thousand porno versions of youtube
FudgeTube
YouTug
Last dot FuckMe
Inyougram
Fumblr
processing the claim would have been four times the value of the clip
reddick
WankedIn
MyJunk
Faceboob
Titter
the suspect was "intoxicated on drugs and 'tripping balls'"
It's called Twitter, not Titter
lingering in the shade of a kind old tree
Shaven Lick
Kevin Clash
Ernie
Bert
Esskay Meats
Yorick
Chicken Liver
Professor Madcliffe
Harry the Hipster
the 'send' button, god, what a retard
Miss Piggy
Kermit
y crepe
creepy
the farm cot you cover
the comfort you crave
having impure thoughts about lining Heathers
lining Heathers
Irish evil henna gelt
taking the largest shit, eh
killing for Ryan North at the Large Shit Inn Toronto, near the Rogers Centre, this Sunday at eight in the evening, eh
Irish henna gelt
Large Shit Inn, Eh
renal shit hinge
learning shit, eh
tarnishing heel
shining leather
inhaling ethers
riling heathens
tabbing out of a message accidentally, hitting any key and seeing it sent, incomplete, making you look like a retard, because clearly only a retard wouldn't want the first thing you tab onto to be the 'send' button, god, what a retard
heiling Shatner
that John Lithgow told Shatner to go fuck himself
bottoming for Chris Lydon and a walrus in Boston Sea Party I through MMMCXLVIII
that von Lettow told Hitler to go fuck himself
Juche Ramen Bar
Boston Nazi Party
Boston Sea Party
Beefsteak Victor Charlie's
Black Panther Angus
Doctor Josef Mengele's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Master Race Steakery
saving the lives of thousands of Jews by putting them to work in your Cheesecake Factory
Adrienne Lecouvreur
Africanized Applebee's
Joe Stalin's Crab Shack
The Cheesecake Sweatshop
Pizza Bunker
Kentucky Gassed Chicken
Papa Doc's Pizza
Little Keiser's Pizza
Ku Klux Krispy Kreme
Khmer Rouge Lobster
TGIKony's
Swastikabucks
Chick fil Apartheid
McHuman Experimentation
Unterweg
Fu Manchu Wok
Taco Gulag
Burger Nanking
Aryan Castle
Steak n Shoah
Wienerfuhrer
a lot of doors
Villagers can be farmed by enclosing two villagers in an area with a lot of doors
Planet Hot Tub
Gassing Robbins
KGB Friday's
Roscoe's Chicken and Genocide
International Concentration Camp of Pancakes
being really glad you don't run a cafe, because today's special would have been the Wafflecaust and you'd be in the headlines already
that apparently the football is still on
wafflecaust denial
drawing a picture of Shia Laboeuf and Jamie Oliver braiding their fudge tunnels together
drawing a picture of Jamie Oliver braiding his food tube and fudge tunnel together
not at all, we've got God on our side
seeing a headline describing Germany's victory as "waffletastic" and wondering what stopped the writer from just going all the way and calling it a "wafflecaust"
This fan decided to release his anger by attempting to be the Brazilian flag
Jamie Oliver's beouf tod
Jamie Oliver's fudge tunnel
Jamie Oliver's food tube
This fan decided to release his anger by attempting to eat the Brazilian flag
sprinking Danish remoulade on Jewel's erect waffles
meeting Bryan Bartlett "Bart" Starr
Kento's TED spies
Kento's deep sits
Kento's teed piss
Kento's side pets
your brinkist streak
being born too late for coal mines on Mars and too early for claiming there are no coal mines on Earth
there are no coal mines on Mars
Bryan Bartlett "Bart" Starr
seeing a headline describing Germany's victory as a "zit rook" and wondering what stopped the writer from just going all the way and calling it a "bitch seagull"
sometimes suspecting that you are a misanthrope
seeing a regret describing Germany's victory as a "blitzkrieg" and inferring that the football is over
seeing a headline describing Germany's victory as a "blitzkrieg" and wondering what stopped the writer from just going all the way and calling it a "holocaust"
the Luftwaffle, the Waffletastic Generals of the History Channel
taking your time and making me love you good
the Luftwaffe, the Washington Generals of the History Channel
the third most common cause of stalling
it was just vapor lock
you just don't understand soccer, Marge
aw, the Denver Broncos!
Brasil Colon The Denver Broncos of Soccer
a little pipsqueak government, didn't amount to very much
wondering who the target segment for RapeAdvisor would even be, then imagining that it's helping keep Roman Polanski up to date on where and when he is allowed to travel
updating RapeAdvisor
updating TripAdvisor
looking down, voting "No"
Rowling is eligible to vote in the twenty fourteen referendum on Scottish independence, and intends to vote "No"
on the eve of the Labour Party Conference, Rowling announced that she had donated one million pounds to the Labour Party, and publicly endorsed Labour Prime Minister Gordon Brown over Tory challenger David Cameron
The largest to the Better Together campaign so far was one million pounds, from Harry Potter author JK Rowling in June this year
Yes Scotland said the pro Union backers were funded by wealthy landowners and "rich Tories" without a vote
Peaches Colon Geldof
softysouping
figs onus typo
and you're still doing the same job now
getting regret number two three two zero seven and not remembering writing it, although it does match your feelings around the time it was written
pussyfooting
Bob Geldof on Death of Daughter Peaches Colon 'It's Intolerable'
To call a woman a "a bitch" is to impute "linty anuses" to her
To call a woman a "Sienna" is to impute "a lusty bitch" to her
To call a woman a "lesbian" is to impute "unchastity" to her
The Slander of Women Act eighteen ninety one is repealed
A statement is not defamatory unless its publication has caused or is likely to cause serious harm to the reputation of the claimant
misreading "orifices" as "offices" and almost making a very wrong offer of amends
wondering how much mileage there is in rewriting Jaws as a comedy about three tailors trying to land a lucrative contract making clothes for the world's fattest and richest man, just for the line "We're gonna need a bigger belt"
in order to prove libel, one must first prove the falsehood of the statement
wondering if Winona Ryder is going to sue us in England for implying she has or had grues inhabiting her orifices
having impure thoughts about getting ye flask
go deeper
you're INSIDE of a teenage Winona Rider, it's too dark to read, you are likely to be eaten by a grue
HMS Queen Elizabeth colon vital statistics
Leaked Star Wars Episode VII Filmset Footage!
introducing Gary to URWIN
it's too dark to read
you're INSIDE of a teenage Winona Rider
you're out of a teenage Winona Rider
outside of a teenage Winona Rider, the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North is a man's best friend
Hot girl CATTY showing her HANGUP !
Hot girl CAUGHT showing her PANTY !
seeing breasts you want to sprink with something when you're out of chocolate chips
seeing shoes you want to drink out of when you're out of champagne
seeing things you want to have impure thoughts about when you're INSIDE of a teenage Winona Rider
seeing nude photos of your ex from five years ago when you're all out of spicy cheetos
seeing things you want to have impure thoughts about when you're out of a teenage Winona Rider
seeing things you want to slather when you're out of donkey sauce
seeing things you wanna be starting when you're out of butter
seeing things you want to Eiffel Tower when you're out of nude thong thong fluid
seeing things you want to deep fry when you're out of batter
seeing things you want to take pictures of when you're out of battery
feeling a kind of imperialist guilt laughing at Wikipedia articles clearly written by people for whom not being high as a fuckdamn kite on cocaine flying a kite on top of a mountain in space is not a normal situation
that concept being heralded by the days modern intimates designers as part of an effort to grab at the elusive ring of crossing over categories
puckled pinks
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be Waffletastic or Not to Be Waffletastic" by the incredibly waffletastic New York Times waffletastic author Ryan North
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be Waffletastic or Not to Be Waffletastic" by the incredibly waffletastic New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
the underwear as outerwear trend
pickled punks
Chip Zdarski
Robert Z'Dar
Richard Gaywood
like sucking the core out of a fig
Jillian T Riker
bottoming for Dick Pound in Dick Pound Two Colon Dick Pounder
that I keep thinking Riker is from Texas but I don't know, Alaska
Pound Meadow Court
mining Jewel's fudge
playing the odobene oboe
that I keep thinking Jewel is from Texas but I don't know, Alaska
this Texan mine can produce upwards of fifty thousand pounds of fudge every hour, provided the miners don't get stuck to the walls
lubing Jewel's fudge tunnel with nude thong thong fluid
this Texan refinery can produce upwards of fifty thousand barrels of nude thong thong fluid each day
she was about a quart low
changing Jewel's nude thong thong fluid
changing Jewel's colostomy bag
Aspiring Model With Crohn's Disease Isn't Afraid To Show Colostomy Bags In Bikini Photo
A plus plus plus would buy again
rating Jewel's nude thong thong fluid
bottoming for Arthur Colon in The Quiet Storm VII
Eh Is for Arthur Colon Weakened Storm Hits Canada
no you can't
iken dake to
oh, los credulas
Los Luchadores, Eh
Los Luchadores
Plastic Surgery & Plastic Doctor & Plastic Hospital Office for Barbie Version
Fired Hides Crusted with Creosote is Coming to a Seven Eleven Near You
The biggest movers this week were Sweden's krona and Norway's krone after a rate cut by the Riksbank
Ian Homo Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Old Oat Pasta, no homo
Fried Cheese Crusted with Doritos is Coming to a Seven Eleven Near You
Jewel's 'throat honing fudge tunnel dud'
Jewel's 'unrated nude thong thong fluid'
Jewel's 'thoughtful and tender undoing'
Ian Homo Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Old Oat Pasta
Ohio Man Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Old Oat Pasta
Ohio Man Raises Twenty Three Hundred Dollars on Kickstarter to Make Potato Salad
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's twin long rods
slapping that marlin ass, making that grouper butt shake
Jar Jar's Grand Nu Lab Bitch
Jar Jar's Bar and Nightclub
they don't give a fuck about anybody else
a pot, jar or other container used to store honey
Kento's plerergate abdomen
Pinchy would have wanted it this way
prison shower tender consensual lovemaking
prison shower rape
Newburyport Soccer Club
with a rebel guilt, crying utini utini utini
feeling a kind of rebel guilt laughing at wookieepedia articles written by species for whom basic is not a first language, utini
feeling a kind of rebel guilt laughing at wookieepedia articles written by species for whom basic is not a first language
feeling a kind of imperialist guilt laughing at Wikipedia articles clearly written by people for whom English is probably not even a second language
Innsmouth Town Football Club
armadillos and armadillo aficionados
With him being a part of an endangered species, and being a major part in the environmental drive for the tournament, he has become more popular, particularly with children and dancers
Ipswich Town Football Club
taking a straight razor to your arm and just slashing and slashing and slashing to get Fuleco's awareness out of you, and it is still there DEAR GOD WHY IS IT STILL THERE
na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na Fuleco
Fuleco's awareness is growing inside you
Fuleco's awareness is growing all over the world
Fuleco
mucky floors
fucking Muk
lucking flaw
fucking luck
wondering if Gary is Gary Glitter, since that would be just your fucking luck
maybe you all are homosexuals too!
it makes you look like a homosexual
hey, that's some outfit
this is what comptrolling is all about
the beetles
in some Inuit societies in the Arctic, and traditionally in Bali, mothers would routinely stroke the penises of their infant sons
when you want the flavor of bacon in a dip
wondering if Gary is Gary Busey, because he is the kind of guy who probably can't spell his own name
wondering Gary is Gary Coleman's fucking forearm
wondering Gary is Gary Coleman
either way
it's definitely a possibility
suspecting that Gary Oldman can spell his name consistently
wondering if Gary is Gary Oldman
he's started signing his texts xx
Gary usually calls on Saturdays
wondering if there is any news from Gary
bottoming for Tory Conservative in Precious Little Left Left LVI
bottoming for Tory Conservative in Precious Little Left Left VII
Canadad, eh
masturbating while reminiscing of bygone loves
yo, Blair
plus a large chunk of the US seems to think European welfare states equate directly to communism, so you know, she's hedging her bets for future elections
she's got a point, there's precious little left left
It doesn't matter in our country whether it's a Republican or a Democrat or frankly, in your country, whether it's a Conservative or a Tory
wondering why the marketing department at Cheetos hasn't positioned their product as the snack food of choice for masturbating while reminiscing of bygone loves
suddenly being reminded of regret five seven eight nine one, and wishing you had some spicy cheetos
that maybe we could use a bat penis for centering smooth moms
that maybe we could use a bat penis for stemming homo cornets
Chesty Mormon
that maybe we could use a bat penis for emoting Mormon chests
that maybe we could use a bat penis for comments or something
that maybe we could use a pastebin for comments or something
shaving to share a bunk with Darth Onan at Sith Camp
having to share a bunk with Darth Onan at Sith Camp
Lucasising, the exercise program for septuagenarians who want to look like lumberjacks
da krone, da bears
Darth Onan
Lucasising "Dark One"
anagramming "and roke"
ad usum Delphini
bowdlerizing "cum and roke"
spoonerising "rum and coke"
liking your women like you like your Coca Cola, ice cold
also, with a lot of rum in it
liking your Coca Cola like you like your women, sweet, flat, and dark brown
teaching a dog to say "Luh Loh" and giving it to Shu Qi
liking your Coca Cola like you like your coffee, uncarbonated
Burnt Cork
liking flat Coca Cola more than carbonated
MC Hammer
Amelia Bloomer
Antonio de La Gandara
tightlacing
that hilarious voice could be your ticket to stardom
maybe a little malice
wishing without malice that he were dead
knowing the guy who worked on the thing that saved some lives from mazuku
mazuku
accidentally mailing the silk qi's mud to Hayden Christensen and the nads to PETAHQ
accidentally mailing the squid's milk to Hayden Christensen and the sand to PETAHQ
saying hi to PETAHQ
PMS, creeMS
GPS, creePS
bellowing horizontally in Belo Horizonte
Belo Horizonte being a great gay porn star name
I wish we could use comments to do that
wanting to draw attention to the regret "the life of Won't Smith", because it made you laugh out loud
Chris Lydon spearheaded the anal cavity
the methods behind his previous plots, including sending explosive printer cartridges by mail, placing explosives in a would be bomber's underpants and also inside his brother's anal cavity drifting free like two lost leaves on the crazy wind of the night
Chris Lydon spearheaded the development of the anal cavity bomb
the methods behind his previous plots, including sending explosive printer cartridges by mail, placing explosives in a would be bomber's underpants and also inside his brother's anal cavity
drifting free like two lost leaves on the crazy wind of the night
New Century Media
casting the ass bondage spell on Kento's father
casting the mind bondage spell on your father
Tim Duncan being seduced by the exotic and sinister world of role playing games
being seduced by the exotic and sinister world of role playing games
darkdungeonsthemovie dot com
fifty six
saying hello to GCHQ
Dollar Advances on Payrolls Report as Krona Weakens With Aussie
Dutch court Colon Black Pete is a negative stereotype
Roy 'Chubby' Brown
wearing a jerkin made of Lindsay Lohan's breast leather
the Valsalva device
Hitler Lohan
drawing a picture of Jason Bateman hitting on a knocked up teen Hitler
Lindsay Lohan is suing the makers of PETTY LARCENY
agent oven k
I mean duh
vegan Kento
Alexis Bledel is suing the makers of Grand Theft Auto
Lindsay Lohan is suing the makers of Grand Theft Auto
yelling "microwave burrito" when the judge called for order in the court
wondering if the regretter who pretends to be in France would travel to England when Roman Polanski sues us, or would just post regrets like zut alors, je suis dans la continent, je n'attendez pas
that you can't get pregnant without rape gnnt
getting teen jitler pregnant
getting jitler pregnant
getting teen Hitler pregnant
getting Hitler pregnant
winning Carney Testes Champion with seventeen votes
Blood and Babugas Colon The Go Ikeda Story
Blood and Dongs Colon The Kento Ikeda Story
Blood and Dugongs Colon The Kento Ikeda Story
probably wanting to leave England when Roman Polanski sues us
not wanting to have to travel all the way to England when Roman Polanski sues us
Kento's achy moist preteen scan
Kento's carney champion testes
wondering how you would characterize your contributions to the amazing Regret Index were they ever brought up in court
Kento's testy anchorman pieces
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has told Canadian media he was "born a waffleholic" and had used "every breakfast starch you can probably think of"
Rob Ford's crippling chlorothiazide habit
the rape sonnet is such an underappreciated form of poetry
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has told Canadian media he was "born an alcoholic" and had used "every drug you can probably think of"
Kento's Misty rape sonnet cache
Swanmore Avenue
Could Baguette's syndrome make a goalkeeper butter
Could Tourette's syndrome make a goalkeeper better
Butts Road, Sholing, Southampton
Kento's sympathetic resonance
I'm a fucking lawyer
Gerry Adjmi
zoo time, is Chris and you time, the walrus are your favorite type, Eiffel Tower tonight
the chief reason why inequality declined with the recession
shoes in hand, don't make a sound
A college student plotted to kill non Aryans in a cyanide attack, a court has heard
Kento's crooked vagina
guys with bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penises
women with crooked vaginas
guys with cuspid veneers
guys with curved penises
Deep Ganguly, aged ten, says the water "smells fishy"
Woman raped in 'broad daylight' in Bagshot
the great ember pooping serpent of Aztec mythology
Flava Flerovium
ember pooping serpent
booming preteen preps
meeting Boron Peppers
Mitt Meitnerium
Caesar Caesium
promising to check into a hotel as Tim Tin sjould you ever need a pseudonym
Magnus Ver Magnesium
Vladimir Plutonium
Francis Francium
Tim Tin
Lawrence Lawrencium
Barry Barium
Sam Samarium
Orel Oxygen
Tim Tungsten
Roman Polonium
Christoper Chlorine
Carl Calcium
Myke Arbon
Freddie Mercury
Rutherford Rutherfordium
Joel Silver
Tracey Gold
bottoming for Leon Neon in Noble Asses X
Jeremys Iron
Ruth Ruthenium
Hayden Silicon
Hayden Hydrogen
Fred Lead
Leon Neon
Pierre Gallium
Dan Scandium
Marcus Phosphorus
Colin Flerovium
Ryan Yttrium
George Dubnium
Anthony Argon
Nate Polonium
muttering
Paul Bismuth, Jedi Knight
Julian Ununoctium
Edmund Americium
kenneth Hydrogen
Manny Iron
Your potential regret of d has already been added!
Desmond Rubiium
Frank Antimony
Paul Bismuth
Frozen testicle 'live birth first'
using the wrong autofill to make a regret
being first denounced, then tortured, then killed by micropenises
trying to outrun your fear
hundreds of trout of different sizes
Panama's Ruby Lust
Su's Anal Bum Party
yoctomom
welp
yocotmom
yoctopenises
micropenises
fist rape gun firing
first rate gun firing
firing Chekov's gun in the bath
clathrate cunt lapping
firing your Clathrate gun in the bath
the Clathrate gun hypothesis
USC study shows 'bears' are likely to 'shit in woods'
USC study shows teen 'sexters' are more likely to be sexually active
HALF BACK PASSES TO CENTER! BACK TO WING! BACK TO CENTER! CENTER HOLDS IT! HOLDS IT! HOOOOLDS IT!
Veteran muppet Rowlf has been found guilty of twelve, TWELVE ah ah aah counts of indecently assaulting one two three four, FOUR tube socks, ah ah ah aah
you already know the channel ident tune
MNN
weather and travel with Beaker
Veteran entertainer Rolf Harris has been found guilty of twelve, TWELVE ah ah aah counts of indecently assaulting one two three four, FOUR girls, ah ah ah aah
really screwing that last regret up, sorry
Veteran entertainer Rolf Harris has been found guilty of twelve ah ah aah counts of indecently assaulting four girls, ah ah ah aah
FEELING WHICH it IS, ALWAYS
HEARING what it was, NEVER
seeing what it was, ever
Veteran entertainer Rolf Harris has been found guilty of twelve counts of indecently assaulting four girls
Play throws up owner's missing wedding ring
Kid throws up owner's missing wedding ring
Dog throws up owner's missing wedding ring inside the other woman in front of the crew
Dog throws up owner's missing wedding ring
inside the other woman in front of the crew
inoculating in your moment of triumph
drawing a picture of the frozen corpses of busty, hardly dressed women who were on the hull of your yacht when you partially detached from the base and flew into the upper atmosphere in your sub orbital transport
evacuaing he planearium in you momen of riumph
ejacuating in your moment of triumph
edutainment
runnin through the okra patch
After one woman left he continued to "manipulate the dildo" inside the other woman in front of the crew
the Chicago Bears Sex Boat, da bears
the Minnesota Vikings Sex Boat, don'tcha know
a mean little tell all book filled with nothing but lies and pictures of also lies
on my knees, finally, the irony is you saying please
being so bad at cunnilingus you give a man ptsd
being so bad at cunnilingus you give a woman ptsd
Pipe Mania
something something Vikings something beards something yachts
the Minnesota Vikings Sex Boat
if you know what I mean
I don't know, the busty, hardly dressed women are also a big perk
thinking there's not really any point to being rich unless you can have a yacht that can partially detach from its base and become a sub orbital transport
you don't sell the yacht, you sell the lifestyle
watching twenty four kbit Realplayer promos for Bottom of the Barrel dilapidated yachts and wondering if the desperately poor really do just drink rubbing alchohol all day under a bridge in the hollow shell of a two meter yacht with a trannie hooker
watching Quicktime promos for Stigma downmarket yachts and wondering if the poor really do just drift around all day in a three meter yacht covered with shrill, squawking women
watching Youtube promos for Adequacy budget yachts and wondering if middle class guys really do just slowly cruise around in a nineteen meter yacht covered with flat chested, mostly covered up women
advertising making you add the word "luxury" before the word "yacht" as though there were any such thing as a non luxury yacht
the company tweeted Adios Amigos! #NEDMEX with a photo that featured a caricature icon of a mustachioed, Mexican man in a sombrero
watching Youtube promos for Prestige luxury yachts and wondering if rich guys really do just speed around in a twenty meter yacht covered with busty, hardly dressed women
New Bride Rushed To Hospital Still Having Orgasms Two Hours After Sex, While Husband Records It
This Is When It's Okay To Look For Sex Outside Your Marriage
EPA Employee Downloaded Seven Thousand Files Of Porn At Work And Watched Them Two to Six Hours A Day
EPA Employees Asked To Stop Pooping In The Hallway
my motherfucker's so cool, when he goes to bed sheep count him
Hao Long is a Chinaman's name
watching a let's play of Assassin's Creed Colon Liberation, then the beginning of Heist immediately after, and briefly thinking Gene Hackman was a fairly but not convincing NPC
fucking herbs in a sausage!
Enchilada Coli
Timothy Ray Murray says on his website that incumbent Oklahoman congressman Frank Lucas is dead, and has been replaced by a body double
suspecting that hovercrafts do not in fact float over landmines without detonating them
not remembering whether Kim Jong il declared war over Die Another Day
Qeri Koulmans fakin fouarn
wondering if Gary Oldman has ever gone to Azerbaijan and gotten upset when people mistakenly spelled his name "Qeri" instead of "Qari"
reaching the conclusion that Azerbaijan is adorable
Tom Kruz
Penelopa Kruz
Xoakin Feniks
Jerar Depardye
Mikki Rurk
Qeri Ueyn Koulman
Qari Oldmen
Corc Lukas
Corc Kluni
E coli
Deniel Dey Lyuis
A coli
Ancelina Coli
Qvinet Peltrou
Meril Strip
Riz Uizerspun
Sir Ceyms Pol Makkartni
Stiven Spilberq
Filip Seymur Hoffman
Kevins Kostners
Dzulija Robertsa
yw gwarier amerikan geryes da
Tomass Dzefrijs "Toms" Henkss
TOM XeHKC
Tomu Hankusu
Tomas Cefri Henks
Headland Security
Tom Henks
total freedom
bottoming for Troy Headland in Another AIDS Die
thinking "you lie, Headland Troy"
thinking you'll dye another aid
thinking you'll die another day
Sofia Margarita Vergara Vergara
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person shooter
spooning Tom Boobs
inventing the obviative shooter
wondering if there is a transsexual pornstar named Hymen Christensen
using the word "waffletastic" rubbing one out in the bathroom at church sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them not being Kento drinking champagne out of a chimp anus
inventing the first second person shooter
internet trolls are a superstitious myth, says Dawkins
the British government would never, ever, under any circumstances, doing anything shady involving the internet
that Scotland doesn't even have any laws, because everybody is perfect, all of the time
no true Scotsman would ever call someone a bitch, or threaten to chin ye
Ms McKelvie gave credence to what she described as "interesting" theories of MIfive attempts to discredit nationalists
the SNP's Christina McKelvie reportedly suggested that there was no link whatsoever between the accounts which sent the author abuse and "anything to do with the Yes campaign"
Dov Charney allegedly seen dancing nude in front of employees
the Hun King Zoro
the hung oink orz
the gunk horizon
the zonking hour
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "waffletastic" to hold your boobs when you run down the stairs
wondering if there is a transsexual pornstar named Tom Boobs accidentally mailing the fudge to Hayden Christensen and the sand to Tom Cruise
wondering if there is a transsexual pornstar named Tom Boobs
accidentally mailing the fudge to Hayden Christensen and the sand to Tom Cruise
boopie doo, ah
Tom Cruise packing his fudge and saying goodbye to the circus
Nellie the Elephant packing her trunk and saying goodbye to the circus
the way that a walrus always says "orf" to you after you have sex, then shits in your pansies
the way that a walrus always says "orf" to you after you have sex, then continues to have sex with you
Top Bunk Nine the Mass Grave
the way that Chris Lydon always says "that'll do, pig, that'll do" to you after you have sex
Bassinet Three the Crypt
Cradle Two the Grave
Carbonado do Sergio
the sperm shortage is getting so bad that some fertility clinics are considering beginning to accept sperm from guys with teeth that fucked u parent
bloody walrusballs
crip diamonds
blood BUCKYBALLS
blood diamonds
un machicoulis
liking your women like you like your coffee, able to cause a tension headache within a few seconds of exposure
Tom Cruise's penchant for paying men to put their tools in his mouth and drill him repeatedly
wondering what Tom Cruise's teeth would be like if any of them were actually still natural
Myke Hawkeing women
squawking women
the sperm shortage is getting so bad that some fertility clinics are considering beginning to accept sperm from guys with teeth that AREN'T fucked up
wondering where the UK is going to find enough doughy, pasty sperm to satsify the needs of all their shrill, squawking women
murder holes
thinking anal rape was like getting raped by a really uptight person
wondering if it is even possible to import Scottish sperm, or whether no true Scotsman would ever leave Scotland
F##king go for it, man!
foreigners, coming over here, taking our women
The UK is facing a major sperm shortage that may be tempting fertility clinics to accept poorer quality sperm
possibly with irony, but without the intention of irony, which is technically impossible to have in any case
honestly, without irony, thinking Diane Sawyer was the news lady from Family Guy
journalist Diane Sawyer will be stepping down as the anchor of the nightly newscast "ABC World News,"
Roman Polanski wants to shoot a movie in his native Poland about the nineteenth century Dreyfus Affair if the director gets assurances that he will have no legal problems stemming from a nineteenseventyseven sex crime conviction
the death of Bobby Womack
thinking analysis was like dialysis for constipated people
Anal bum cover mars NASA 'saucer' test flight
it's way more than that
Bum parachute mars NASA 'saucer' test flight
Facebook admits to 'posting excrement' from seven hundred thousand users
making low density supersonic decelerator animals
Facebook admits to 'proctology experiment' on seven hundred thousand users
Facebook admits to 'psychology experiment' on seven hundred thousand users
guessing that it's more of a b sound
shaving Tzipi Shavit in a tipi
pounding hot adamantium with your uru hammer
obtaining a load of old bollocks by doing a load of old bollocks with a load of old bollocks
obtaining vibranium by sacrificing anodes of transformium in an unobtainium bath
I'm spinning around, move out of my way
the Sino barbarian dichotomy
the eternally galling necessity of sleep
Mo' Lens, No Mo'
clothyard shafts
biting down so hard
Transformium
Transformers Colon Age of Extinction, review colon 'spectacular junk'
doing a google image search for "arrowed"
Go Reams Nude to return to TV screens
Enema Gourds to return to TV screens
Sumo Grenade to return to TV screens
Gonad Resume to return to TV screens
Gander Mouse to return to TV screens
Garden Mouse to return to TV screens
Danger Mouse to return to TV screens
Mo' Lens
lemons
rolling with the typos
falling back to Melons Titith
falling back to Minas Tirith
melons
you don't have to sit around complaining 'bout the way your life has wound up
Team Rape Trays Geldof
Stray Meat Rape Geldof
Samray Tartpee, Jedi Knight
combining the concepts of "Sam Ray" and "tart pee" and getting chimps
combining the concepts of "yam rape" and "taters" and getting chimps
combining the concepts of "rape" and "tasty ream" and getting chimps
stray meat rape
combining the concepts of "stray" and "meat rape" and getting chimps
Hug Me Spud, the hot new toy for the twenty fourteen Christmas season
science cannot move forward without hug me spud
science cannot move forward without huge dumps
science cannot move forward without heaps
bottoming for Ron Burtitio in Soap Tutortials VII
A Pit Zit Shiv
you want to piss on his grave
a patriot's soup tutortials
a patriot's soap tutortials
It said that Falstad Wildhammer was going to be on the Council of Three Hammers, but in the beta it's Kurdran Wildhammer, and Falstad is not in the game at all
combining the concepts of "smear" and "tea party" and getting chimps
that the only thing that you regret about Mark Mayfield's death is that you'll have to travel to the shithole that is Mississippi if you want to piss on his grave
eating nakkos while you wait for you tutortials
delicious pan fried tutortials
tutorials, even
soap tutortials
a patriot's soul
Mississippi tea party leader tied to campaign smear dead in apparent suicide
Tzipi Shavit
using the words "deep throating Stephen Fry"
wondering how long it will be before a tedious and bland film about the murder of Helene Pastor arrives
Mr Cameron was led from the legendary Midtown theater crying and flanked by numerous convicted criminals and paedophiles he had apparently not noticed were criminals and paedophiles despite knowing them personally for many years
Mr Cameron drunkenly puffed away on cigarettes inside Studio fiftyfour, grabbed the butts of several actors and threatened cops before he was hauled away at intermission, sources and a rep for the show said
Mr Cameron issued a stark warning that the appointment of the former Luxembourg Premier as head of the European Commission could have a big impact on British public opinion ahead of the inlout referendum he has promised, because you can promise anything
Mr Cameron warned other EU leaders today that they would "live to regret" their decision and that he would be a "building a laser on the moon to deal with them"
Patrick Rock
Stede Bonnet
gray ,secnetnes rieht fo dne eht ta yas elpoep hsinroC tahw gnirednow
agh
wondering what Cornish people say at the end of their sentences, yarg
a school being closed and the public warned to avoid the area as armed police hunt a sixty year old Elvis impersonator with 'access to guns', following what they describe as a domestic incident, Now you can have sex with your iPad
Now you can have sex with your iPad
wondering what Cornish people say at the end of their sentences
a school being closed and the public warned to avoid the area as armed police hunt a sixty year old Elvis impersonator with 'access to guns', following what they describe as a domestic incident
Shia LaBeouf taken into police custody at Cabaret show
voicing Junk Orgy Dad in Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling
voicing Junkyard Dog in Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling
Lad Comics
pistolpandaphobia
one night she shot out the light, Bang!
pistolpetaphobia, the fear of queefing squid's milk at a PETA convention
pistolpetaphobia
gerontoodobenophilia
odobenophilia
odobenophobia
gerontophobia
gelatophobia
gelotophobia
Snakes and bees 'flush out' Boko Haram fighters
fembots with illegal five speed groins
drawing a picture of Kento being Cockpit Theatred by the cook, the thief, his wife & her lover
Disco Clam
People are like, 'Feed the bears!' No, we're not going to feed the bears
Authorities had to give up onto the protests happened about the grittier side of nature earlier this month in Minnesota
Viewers find it disturbing to watch baby eagle dying on webcam
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
Newington Butts
the Swan Theatre
the Myke Hawkepit Theatre
the Flight Deck Theatre
drawing a picture of Kento being Bermuda Triangled by DB Cooper and a sasquatch
John Best, "cockmaster" to Henry Frederick, Prince of Wales, King James I's eldest son and heir
the Cockpit Theatre
'Tis Pity She's a Row, Eh
'Tis Pity She's a Bee
lending your colon bees to an urgent colon beekeeper
'Tis Pity She's a Whore
still getting messages from Gary
getting an email titled "Urgent Colon Bees"
hotBITCH
hitchBOT dot eh
hitchBOT
Google reveals first Android Wear watches to go on sale, public braces for rise in numbers of twats playing secret agent
Jimmy Savile sexually assaulted victims aged five to seventy five in NHS hospitals over decades of unrestricted access, investigators say
wondering if the Will Smith from Kepler oneeightysixf forced his untalented son to costar with him in critical and commercial failure After Kepler Oneeightysixf
drawing a picture of the Will Smith from Kepler oneeightysixf punching an Earthling in the face and saying "WELCOME TO KEPLER ONEEIGHTYSIXF"
A better than fifty fifty chance Kepler oneeightysixf has teleological life
technological life
moon bottoming for Buggery Rash Carl Geldof in Facebook Victims VII
moon
bottoming for Buggery Rash Carl Geldof in Facebook Victims VII
Buggery Rash Carl's Jr
Minnesota Man Faces Buggery Rash Carl After Logging Into Facebook on Victim's Computer
Minnesota Man Faces Burglary Charges After Logging Into Facebook on Victim's Computer
naming your planet after dirt and having only flown to your own moon
giving manic pixie dreams on a planet having life when the only data point you have is Earth
giving odds
giving odds on a planet having life when the only data point you have is Earth
Baldo "Nopz" Freebasei Geldof
that we're all going to look like idiots if analysis of signals from Kepler oneeightysixf reveals names like Baldo "Nopz" Freebasei and Sculpy Doots are commonplace there
A better than fifty fifty chance Kepleroneeightysixf has podcasters and aquatic mammals that want to space bridge Kento
A better than fifty fifty chance Kepler oneeightysixf has technological life
wondering if William Hague actually thinks people listen when he speaks, let alone get his mangled references
sometimes you just gotta wait
your grandpa is bobbing for ovaries like a champ
we were led by Disraeli, our predecessors knew Disraeli, Disraeli was a Conservative through and through, and, Ed Miliband, you are no Disraeli
that qwantz dot wales slash regret is not a real place you can go to look you
Senator, you're no Myke Hawke
Myke Hawke was a friend of mine
I knew Myke Hawke
I served with Myke Hawke
that qwantz dot wales slash regret is not a real place you can go to
Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy
Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine
I knew Jack Kennedy
I served with Jack Kennedy
qwantz dot wales slash regret
Novemberfest
not knowing jack
Oktoberfest
shooting Han Solo in the crotch with a blaster when you were a Rodian
shooting Hank Hill in the urethra with an arrow when you were a kid
Jussi Halla aho
Small Porgies
London's mayor cum novelty infrastructure tsar
super baked and watching supernatural
Peter Nippers wants beaming charges dismissed on mental health grounds
Peter Slipper wants fraud charges dismissed on mental health grounds
getting nads in your vagina statue
vaginastone baked pizza
getting bread in your vagina statue
vaginastone
getting sand in your vagina statue
Manic Pixie Dream Girl Geldof
manic pixie dream numbers
odd perfect numbers
Man gets NSA from statue of a vagina in Germany
Man gets STD from statue of a vagina in Germany
Obama gets stuck inside Angela Merkel's vagina in Germany
The sculpture, called Pi Chacan, was erected in front of the Institute of Microbiology and Virology at the university in two thousand one
Man gets stuck inside Angela Merkel's vagina in Germany
Man gets stuck inside a statue of a vagina in Germany
There is no programme of mass surveillance and there is no surveillance state
Kendra Wilkinson's husband Hank Baskett accused of sexual relationship with transsexual model
Rash cover to be built in evil vat
Hover cars to be built in evil vat
Hover cars to be built in Tel Aviv
Gary Oldman, more like Gary Oldman, amirite
Kidnapped baby in Texas found by jogger
Rupert Murdoch has been officially informed by Scotland Yard that detectives want to interview him as a suspect as part of their inquiry into allegations of crime at his British newspapers
The editor of the Sheffield Star has demanded an explanation as to why his reporter, Alex Evans, was warned off filming a protest against cuts to free travel provision for pensioners and disabled people by British transport police officers on Monday
the death of Lance Ferguson Prayogg
Is Gary Oldman calling Gary Numan an idiot by blasting talentless pop stars for pretending to be robots
Is Gary Oldman calling Miley Cyrus an idiot by blasting talentless pop stars for twerking
realizing that American Idol is probably now older than much of its target audience
being put on trial for unspecified crimes against the state
Plop Dylan
Macaulay Culkin is like the male, singleton Mary Kate and Ashley Olson
getting a wet willy from the wet bandit when you were home alone
that "wet bandit" originated from Macauley Culkin's pet name for Michael Jackson
wondering why Jaden Smith's voice reminds you of a talking frog
After Earth
The Return of the Wet Bandits
slamming SOMEBODY ELSE'S dick in TWO waffle STEELS
Hard Alone
jumbo waffles
wondering if there really is a super creepy porno version of Home Alone out there
slamming your dick in a waffle iron
Waffles, the gentleman thief
jimbo waffles
using the word "walestastic" isn't it
slamming your waffle in the car door
CALCULATION CHARGE
wondering how far this will push back the new X Men movie
FBI colon one hundred and sixty eight kids kids rescued, two hundred and eighty one pimps nabbed in sex trafficking crackdown
algorithm march
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in Have No Loom
bottoming for Chet Meatsack in Homo Alone V
Korean lie trait purges
five Home Alone movies
Korean literati purges
out of focus proctology
out of focus ideology
wanting to register jimbo wales, and the wales sister, dot
wanting to register sambo dot chuppers
wanting to register jimbo dot wales
First Minster Carwyn Jones said it would "enhance the global presence of brand Wales, look you now"
New domain names set to 'sell' Wales to the world, isn't it
The AI Box Experiment, if you know what I mean
The John Birch Society adamantly labeled Eisenhower as a "socialist"
Jack Chick apparently rejects the idea of QCD, or at least the idea that gluons exist
abominable intelligence
The AI Box Experiment
playing dik
playing kid
playing dog
the Singularity
drawing a picture of Kento Marek being Tosche Stationed by a septuagenarian Han Solo and Val'kilmer the Hutt
Talonbane Cobra
Val Kilmer In Talks To Make Cameo Appearance As Jabba the Hutt's Older, Fatter Brother In 'Star Wars Colon Episode VII'
Tom Cruise In Talks To Make Cameo Appearance In 'Star Wars Colon Episode VII'
Einsiedlerkoenigreich
your sharona
playing god
the amazing Rapagram Index
eating out Shumway on a Segway on a subway in Singapore
raping ten lichees
sleeping in her cat
kneading to cum
needing to come
Michael Crichton, Leprechaun
sleeping in the car
hatters gonna hat
as if there were any other kind
lending your bra to a dishonest hatter
confusing bra hat rib with B'nai B'rith
confusing bara brith with B'nai B'rith
Lawmakers visit Marine held in Mexico, say sergeant 'needs to come'
the Crichton Leprechaun
being almost out of love
being almost out of Africa
eating out Shumway on a subway in Singapore
eating a Shumway on a subway in Singapore
eating a Subway on a subway in Tehran
eating a Randian on a subway in Singapore
eating a durian on a subway in Singapore
being almost out of big swans
being almost completely in mb
being almost out of bread and circuses
being almost out of mb
coincidentally being almost out of bs
fml
Lisa needs chemically stored potential energy
BATTERY
oh ffs
that was suopposed tp
being almost out of bs
thinking you might swing by the Old Swan later if you have time
not being able to copy text on this phpne
appearing ar conventions in costume as Cap'n America, me hearties
great, now I'm senile
appearing ar conventions in costume as Captain America
regret numbers six four one six four and six four one six five
probably should have said boobs again there
that you used to think Riker was from Canada
spooning has the right to children
Boobs of Canada
that you used to think Jewel was from Canada
sorry Jewel
bathing your dick in Jewel's anus
bathing your chimp in Jewel's church
oh a wiseguy, eh, eh
the Three Canadian Stooges
oh a wiseguy, eh
says you
threading your bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis through someone to braid it with that of a walrus is still pretty perverted
and by everyone and everything I mean "mostly ugly goth singers and unemployed fat gay Asians"
hey, Chris Lydon has never forced himself on anyone, he is an omnisexual supermagnet that attracts everyone and everything to him
up a lazy river
wondering who is the more colossal pervert, Dov Charney or Chris Lydon
this is what it sounds like when Red Anchovy cries
eating that whole thing of spicy curry and waking up at whatever awful hour this is when you brother in law gets in from his night shift
this is what it sounds like when Dov Charney cries
allowing an employee to post naked photographs of a former female employee who had sued you
Bob "Barky" Barkhimer
peeling up stream
peeing upstream, odd
going down on the river
going down river
peeing upstream even
peeing up stream
going up the river
seeing a guy dressed like the Fonz, out for a stroll in Leeds
the thrill of the thought that you might give a thought to my plea
probably involving sand people
guessing that there is already a slashfic titled Rough Trade at Tosche Station
assuming that when Luke said "pick up" he meant be Galactic Senate Buildinged by
Canadian woman who stopped car to help ducks faces life in jail after causing fatal crash
assuming that when Luke said "pick up" he meant shoplift
that apparently they're datari, not daktari, poodoo!
that apparently they're datari, not daktari, sithspit
buying all those power converters
buying all those Republic daktari
buying all those carbonite credits
taking a pervy foot vow
buying all those cabron credits
taking a vow of poverty
that ISIS would be a lot more popular if they offered everybody a free owl
ISIS mocks Michelle Obama on Twitter, boasts of Iraq victory
drawing a picture of Ricky Martin being Eiffel Towered by Rory Calhoun and Santa's Little Helper
liking your women like you like your walking and talking, like Rory Calhoun
walking like you talk and talking like you walk
Ricky Martin's "She B