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a world of regret

fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, the boxer, the only living boy in New York
draining the johnsons of rocks with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
CSI Colon RSU
The Beautiful Writer who Fucked
The Beautiful Writer who Married
The Beautiful Writer who Killed
chewing your men with Chew Chor Meng
the death of Mehari Bokrezion
Howards
The Remains Of The
A Room With A
Merchant Trevory
Trevory the vampi
Ivory the Engi
on the internet nobody knows that you are a vampire and
on the internet nobody knows that
yes, this is dog
Pokemon Radio and Sex Unit
Pokemon Raisin and Tuxedo
Pokemon Tired and Anxious
Pokemon Pants and Life
LA Man Loses Pants, Life
Deadly Ending To Chase After Man Climbs Port Of LA Crane, Gets Naked
MS U IS BEST
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter is a scruffy looking nerf herder and instead of creating the best meth recipe he blows this thing and goes home
elephant's anusol
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter teaches sex ed and instead of creating the best meth recipe he ends up getting murdered with the dildo in the conservatory and also his name is Mr Boddy
elephant's toothpaste
that your sex education teacher was called Mr Boddy and you hope he wasn't murdered for the sake of a board game
Captain Robert Brown has not appeared in anything else but is visualized as a lower class, drunk, seaman who came to the mansion under mysterious circumstances and is represented by a brown token
fuck marry kill, Mr T, Mr Oizo, Mr Mister
Annabelle Colon Creation
truly wonderful, the mind of a child
he gave you that big dildo like the one he gave Nancy Reagan
that when you were in high school you met Mr T at the mall
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter is a big dude who loves his van that he lives in and instead of creating the best meth recipe he has the mind of a child and is repeatedly tricked by his so called friends
We are aware that some people are maliciously targeting our British Athletics Twitter campaign with offensive and abhorrent content
Mr T was good
the A Team show being such an indefensible pile of shit
It's in our national interest to flatter them
Third woman accuses Roman Polanski of sex attack
Doncong Woth Tho Stors
Omoroc's Got Tolont
This "FUNNY" MAGICIAN TOOK AMANDA's BRA FROM THE COMMuNAL LAUNDRY ROOM!
This "FUNNY" MAGICIAN TOOK AMANDA's BRA!
Blockoddor
Gomo of Thronos
shaving the genitals of fears with PHOEBE Buchfellner
Chuck Berry's estranged children, Chuck Rod and Berry Rod
the death of Dorothy Stratten opening Mike Knight
Gene Roddenberry's estranged half sister, Belle Bookencandle
fuck marry worship, God, a potato, anything
Rod Roddenberry's estranged half brother, Berry Roddenberry
you have to accept that some people believe in God, some people want to worship a potato, and some people don't want to believe in anything
shaving the genitals of bears with PHOEBE Buchfellner
shaving the genitals of bears with Ursula Buchfellner
the pubes of Dorothy Stratten
British band Bush dedicated the song "Dead Meat" on their album The Science of Things to Stratten
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her anuse douche
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter is mother of dragons and instead of creating the best meth recipe he gives birth to all the best dragons and also you have even less patience for the show than before
that ass
the breasts of Dorothy Stratten
the acting of Dorothy Stratten
bnpas
pubes
Brookong Bod
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter teaches driver's ed and instead of creating the best meth recipe he makes talking cars and also his name is Mike Knight
the death of Dorothy Stratten
opening Mike Knight
just now realising that Knight Rider's eponymous rider Michael Knight is Mike Knight
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter teaches biology and instead of creating the best meth recipe he breeds the most awful syphilis
being glad that whoever did the posters for Invisible Strangler managed to get all that work illustrating WikiHow
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her amuse bouche
Paprika Snakebite
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her anuse
Cox's Bazar Beach
Pokemon Meth and Syphilis
methphyllis
Pakistani Barkeep
Danielle Bregoli is kind of like ravioli, except stuffed with meth and syphilis
Pastakin Piebaker
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her abacus
not knowing what a Danielle Bregoli is but assuming it is some kind of pasta dish that identifies as female or someone who identifies as female pastakin, and supports themselves financially through stripping
honestly being surprised that there is still room in the pop culture universe for both Miley Cyrus and Danielle Bregoli, since they seem to occupy mostly the same space
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her abyss
London to lose Big Ben's curious cans for years
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her abcess
winning the Teen Choice Award for Ass Most Like A Pair Of Medicine Balls with seventeen twerks
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her absence
"Mungomania" was possibly the most startling and unpredictable pop phenomenon to hit Britain in the summertime since the weather was high
billing colonies with Billy Connolly
rolling gifts with Roland Gift
"Mungomania" was possibly the most startling and unpredictable pop phenomenon to hit Britain since The Beatles
the 'navy seal' is literally a seal animal
we're here, we're queer, we don't want any more bears
drawing a picture of a federal grand jury running a Trump train
something ribald
Nothing can stop the #TrumpTrain!!
smearing ramen on Ray Mears
We are cancelling Dave Coulier's registration with StarBangers for violating our terms of service
Beyond the Pale Colon Sir Oswald Mosley and Family
punctus contra punctum
PARPPS
Pompeii Archaeological Research Project Colon Porta Stabia
Creamjugs Harvey Girl Dick
Dickgirl Harvey Cream Jugs
Pokemon Mother'S MILK Jugs and Speed II COLON CRUISE CONTROL
Pokemon Mother Jugs and Speed
Pokemon Dolly Babe and Leader
Manifest Google Destiny
Eminent Google Domains
remembering when this 'dex hit eighty eight regrets an hour and travelled back in time to Eiffel Tower Kento with itself
We are cancelling Armrest Doily's registration with Lime Goo Gonads for violating our terms of service
trying to find a knife in Dave Coulier's cutlery drawer
We are cancelling Daily Stormer's registration with Google Domains for violating our terms of service
fellating Dave Coulier in a theatre
having a kind of general set of skills that includes resurrection
Plumber Things
A Columbia Falls man reported that a "strange kid" came by to fix his toilet but his toilet isn't broken
playing satrapy of discomfort
A woman in sweatpants was telling anyone who would listen to her in a local parking lot about how "everyone is going to die" because of the aliens in the sky
playing Kingdom of Loathing
having a very specific set of skills that does not include RESURRECTION
having a very specific set of skills that does not include resuscitation
too soon
being slain by a Phil Spector
being slain by a Regina spectre
Regina Spektor, vagina inspector
fuck marry kill, Gono Hont, Myke Hawke, Regina Spektor
Gono Hont shot forst
drawing a picture of Kento feelin' fine and doing real swell for himself
Gono Hont, bounty hunter
forgetting to food your klonoppo
kind of loving Gono Hont, that magnificent bastard
killing the Colofornoo gorls
filling up each cavity with your brownie batter
London to loso Bog Bon's oconoc bongs for ooors
POO EMOJI BROWNIES
ROP Brottono Morpho
RIP Brittany Murphy
The TV reboot train keeps chugging ahead
whoa
London to lose Big Ben's iconic bongs for years
We informed the Daily Stormer that they have XXIV hours to move the domain to another provider, as they have violated our terms of service
thinking that Johnny Cash died when Brittany Murphy drove that bus up a ski slope and killed all those celebrities you kind of half remember
not realising that Johnny Cash had been dead for fourteen years
asshole patches
What Remains of Edith Finch
raising VAT, eh
their vagina
their vaginas
weighing coins with Wayne Coyne
soul patches
rogrots oboot pono foodong
a "big lovefest for the German military and the Waffen SS"
a doctor was compelled to tell women not to put Gary Glitter pills inside their vaginas
regrets about pony feeding
a doctor was compelled to tell women not to put glitter pills inside their vaginas
forgetting to blow your klinoppe
Protap Chunder Mozoomdar
kind of wanting to make a version of Welsh Rape Crises where the music becomes increasingly loud and drowns out most of the vocals just like a conversation in a club isn't it
kind of wanting to make a version of Welsh Crap Series where the music becomes increasingly loud and drowns out most of the vocals just like a conversation in a club look you now
kind of wanting to make a version of Careless Whisper where the music becomes increasingly loud and drowns out most of the vocals just like a conversation in a club
watching these meme mashup videos on youtube even though you know nothing will every top Cooking by the Book
fucking marital bees
regrets about bee fucking
fucking martial bees
Gordon Ramsay saying "FUCK"
Viva La Bees
Let It Bee
Mike Hawke's eye is watching you
it's looking at me
Mike Hookem's eye is watching you
Mike Hookem said he was not prepared to "turn a blind eye" to extremism
Rocket Madsen
I place the blame for a lot of what you're seeing in America today right at the doorstep of the White House and the people around the president
taking the high road
fuck marry kill, Teleporno, Groin, Fatty Bolger
here made into a Telerin prince Teleporno or Telporno
Celebrimbor
#fashion
Bruceploitation
Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it
As Hilda's buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm
just now learning that Kevin James has a second sitcom where he plays a fat, stupid, ugly, worthless man with a hot wife
Stronius Stronnius knows nothing!
A copper pot went missing from my shop, Anyone who returns it to me will be given LXV sestertii, which is enough to screw Attice XVI times
Sollemnes, you screw well!
If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend
I have buggered men
Apelles Mus and his brother Dexter each pleasurably had sex with two girls twice
finding "having bear sex with Ryan Q North" in your autofill cache
A CANADIAN BESTSELLER
Black Celebrities as White Men from FaceApp
it is a literal bear
a cave painting of a tribal chieftain getting shit on by a bird
Apollinaris, doctor to the emperor Titus, had a good crap here
If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all, if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice, she costs IV sestertii turning heads and turning knobs it looks like you've come from outer space
If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all, if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice, she costs IV sestertii
turning heads and turning knobs it looks like you've come from outer space
Secundus says hello to his friends
Acca Larentia sucks cocks in Hades
Antiochus hung out here with his girlfriend Cithera
Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates
we asked one hundred men, name something you like to do to women's feet
Secundus likes to RAILROAD SPIKE boys
You haven't played World of Tanks yet! You're wasting your life!
declaring cole's law
DOOMfeld
Malcom, but they are arrived on a boat
declaring Malta walri
this is da pimple, cheerio
this is a pedophile crime
you're fighting for your life inside of Phyllis Diller tonight
there's no escaping the shores of Westphalia this time
trading mansplaining for glass beads
as horror looks you right between the boobs, you're like "hey my eyes are up here buddy"
not really understanding what exactly pinterest does, other than clog up google image search attempts
not really understanding what exactly pinterest does
Pinterest for asian dude, Pinyinterest
Pinterest reminding you to log in constantly, Pesterest
Pinterest for fat dudes, Pieterest
mounting the biggest dick in the world, Peenverest
as horror looks you right between the eyes, you're like "hey my eyes are either side of there buddy"
Pinterest for gay dudes, Peenterest
"The refrigerator was the dangerous weapon," O'Connell told the Herald yesterday
that's why they call him Big Bird
using "I wan' git up in yer guts" as a pickup line
struggling to reconcile the challenge of whether to marry or simply pursue a sexual relationship with someone whose nickname is Pussy Monster
fuck marry kill, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, that one South African muppet with AIDS
drawing a picture of bustier, hippier Marceline from Adventure Time in blackface
liking your women like you like your presidents, looking like a black Ellie Dee from Cherry
lending your power to a dishonest charlatan
FaceApp Produces Grainy Artifact Filled Images Just Moments After Installation
Canary Worf L!VE TV
FaceApp Removes Ethnicity Filters Just Hours After Release
Canary Wharf L!VE TV
bottoming for Boxey's Robot Daggit Muffit in Being First Pleasured, Then Tortured, Then Killed By A Machine VII
hearing what you assume is the latest Coldplay single and wondering how long they've been autotuning that whiny twat's voice
fuck marry kill, Matt LeHonk, Hooey Tribbiani, Dr Drake Ramoray
fuck marry kill, Matt LeBlanc, Joey Tribbiani, Dr Drake Ramoray
relying on Boxey's robot daggit Muffit to help them
fuck marry kill, that stupid pussy Threepio knockoff from the start of the Phantom Menace, the Rtwo unit with the bad motivator, the entire Trade Federation battle droid army
once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back
fuck marry kill, IT O interrogator droid, EW III midwife droid, JN LXVI analysis droid
fuck Sy Snootles because I bet you get amazing oral from that proboscis, kill Boss Nass because he's annoying, marry Dexter Jettster because he owns his own business and knows how to cook or at least program a droid to cook well
kill Luke, fuck Leia, marry my OC Skywalker triplet who's like super hot and amazing and sexually naive but not you know boring in bed somehow
Sherlock Holmes Colon Consulting Detective
fuck marry kill, Boss Nass, Sy Snootles, Dexter Jettster
fuck marry kill, Luke, Leia, some third sibling that probably appeared in some shitty noncanon comic book or something
fuck Jar Jar as long as I get to top, kill Watto because we need a final solution to his people, marry Poggle the Lesser because he's a provider
artfully using MDMA to fortify cured pork with Richie Cunningham
knitting an ace scarf with Scarface
fuck marry kill, Jar Jar, Watto, Poggle the Lesser
pitching a horror about a literal grammar Nazi who forces his victims to debate and vote among themselves who will die next and how, The Its Have I's
IoIoIo IoI OOO IIIooI IoII
Koroto Kod OOO Scroon Tost
Koroto Kod III Scroon Tost
Karate Kid III Screen Test
wanting to birth Panino a kento for his makeday
wanting to make Kento a panino for his birthday
Kelly Collins Duztbunniez
Kelly Collins Lintz as Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
Kelly Collins Lintz as Fiona Dillanbeck Flanscopper
Growing Pains Colon Return of the Seavers
bottoming for Kirk Cameron in Hard Core Christians VII
Woman who makes a living by being pretty complains that coworker didn't think she was pretty enough
Chloe Grace Moretz Colon I was body slammed by wrestling co star when I was defending WWE title
belatedly understanding that like YouTube's sassy music mixes, your phone's references to cancer are a sign of artificial intelligence
bottoming for Hard Core Christian in Superraptureeucharisticsexbesidethealtar
not knowing what your phone has been through but when you enter 'living with' it autosuggests 'cancer'
having always envied Ryan's easy charm and ability to end sentences with AMAZING without any need for further explanation
getting clones drunk on gin and tonics until they have tonic clonic seizures
'This guy that was my love interest was like, 'I'd never Eiffel Tower you with a walrus in real life,' and I was like, 'What' And he was like, 'Yeah, you're not fat gay and Asian enough for me' as in, my size," he said
Kento Ikeda Colon I was body shamed by male podcaster when I was fifteen
in Holland
getting picked up and fucked by a van full of marines driven by Marijne van der Vlugt
drunkenly marinating a steak with Marija Sestak
Diana JOEY
Diana Ross lives on no evil star
how sad it was when Diana Ross died in that chain reaction
top oral, Mr
RLM tar poo
motor larp
Mr Pool Rat
Portal ROM
parlor Tom
moral port
mortal pro
Mr Oral Pot
oral tromp
plot armor
the Kingdom of Kush
that brief part of your late childhood and early adolescence when you probably couldn't tell the difference between Joely Richardson and Uma Thurman
actually knowing that Liam Neeson was married to Natasha Richardson, not Brittany Murphy, but being unable to picture either of them, only Joely Richardson
actually knowing that Anna Faris didn't die because you heard about her being alive just today, but not being able to remember Brittany Murphy's name, only that she died in that skiing accident
guessing that Diana Ross is alive, because you don't recall her dying like Anna Faris
that, on introspection, if someone were to ask you whether Diana Ross was dead or alive, you would basically have a fifty fifty shot at getting it right
Rats stared at Diana Ross scurrying around the Children Playground in Central Park in Manhattan on Tuesday
kissing a naked dude holding his shitty pants in his hands
Children stared at rats scurrying around the Diana Ross Playground in Central Park in Manhattan on Tuesday
everybody hates sand
PrequelMemesBot
Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion
Tobor the Great
The fates of several other characters, including Adama's daughter Athena, Colonel Tigh, Starbuck's girlfriend Cassiopeia, and Muffit the robot dog are not revealed
Number One Will SHOCK You!
Every Version Of The Joker Ranked By How Likely I Am To Kill For Them At The Quality Inn Pasadena, Near The Rose Bowl, This Sunday At Eight In The Evening
Every Version Of The Joker Ranked By How Little I Care For Them
he's living it up on Rancho Fabuloso now
the death of Glen Campbell
anorectic
accretion
the London Hammer
Adam Duritz would have taken them
having to get rid of all those naked dude meat chunks somehow
killing a naked dude shouting "bathroom emergency!" and demanding to use the toilet first, even though you probably could have held it for a few minutes, thus depriving someone who actually really did have to go a chance to use said toilet and making them
kissing a naked dude shouting "bathroom emergency!" and demanding to use the toilet first, even though you probably could have held it for a few minutes, thus depriving someone who actually really did have to go a chance to use said toilet and making them
kissing a naked dude
shouting "bathroom emergency!" and demanding to use the toilet first, even though you probably could have held it for a few minutes, thus depriving someone who actually really did have to go a chance to use said toilet and making them shit their pants
DO NOT PUT YOUR LIME IN A COCONUT
Poltia de Lossless
Poltia de Lossi
thinking, after randomly finding out that Portia de Rossi is fat like last year, that she held no more surprises, but it turning out that she's Asian
thinking, after randomly finding out that Portia de Rossi is gay like last year, that she held no more surprises, but it turning out that she's Australian
DO NOT PUT YOUR PENIS IN A COCONUT
just a downtown body body coming with a super hottie
there's no escaping the chores of the alien this time
KOREAN KIMCHI SLAP!
I saw you there so unaware those hummingbirds all in your hair llama gamma busy hella fizzy California
sad newt
I saw you there so unaware those hummingbirds all in your hair
Pokemon That and This and These and Those
that and this, these and those
wet sand
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Adaptation where Nicolas Cage sticks his arm up Nicolas Cage's ass and wondering where it came from
#TRYITWETEH
#HEYTWITTER
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Wild At Heart where Laura Dern sticks her arm up Nicolas Cage's ass and wondering where it came from
having an apparently false memory of a scene in Jurassic Park where Laura Dern sticks her arm up a dinosaur's ass and wondering where it came from
'scuse me while I fist this guy
it's going to be like punching the sky
he's the receiver
Swanish Dicks
he's a big guy, that's going to hurt
Shaq fisting
The Ultimate Extreme! The Large Buddha Statue Transformer
shag fishing
cormorant fishing
wanting to make Go a daddy long legs for Kento's birthday
wanting to make Go a leather daddy for Kento's birthday
wanting to make Kento a leather daddy for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a leather muppet for his birthday
An image supposedly uploaded to the dark web by Black Death shows a woman alongside details including measurements and nationality, although the picture is believed to be a scene from a pornographic film
Chamseddine Bourassine
Thomas Gon' Give It To Ya
Swedish Dicks
Vile Anal was a really popular series
bottoming for Vanilla Ice in Vile Anal CI
Vanilla Ice has a VEVO
the song Spank open parenthesis XII inch version close parenthesis by the artist Jimmy Bo Horne
Never Gonna Hit Those Notes
when things are big that should be small
muppurbating
wondering if Kevin Clash referred to his teenage boyfriends as "leather muppets"
it's a muppet, I know
maybe it's not a puppet
wondering what the odds are that Kevin Clash used the Elmo puppet to masturbate even once
she's as sweet as buffalo honey, just like honey, baby, from the bee
having never been to the Orge, though your sister once went to the Ardeche when she was a kid
maximum ogre load
being an ogre but never having been to an orgy
being uncommonly amused by monsters, the monstrous, and monstrousness
watching the growing hysteria over the Black Death "dark web" group with some amusement, knowing that the moral panic over what appears to be some kids who met online and watched Taken too many times will eventually be used for monstrous purposes
Slutlioncash
Officer Slutlion, eh
the Coffer illusion
fuck marry kill, Veggietales, the Munch Bunch, the Poddington Peas
kinetic waffleables
kinetic lunchables
kinetic wearables
AFRICAN AMERICANlight tattoos
blacklight tattoos
Flying nut high five
don't go fuckin' honeybees, please stick to the dragonflies you're used to
I should've known better than to fuck a bee
guilty feet ain't got no rhythm
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face bees
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face weebs
really needing to get around to peeling off Kento's face
weebs
that would explain the punishy feeling recent events have had
everybody's working for the sabbath
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to AFRICAN AMERICAN WEEKEND MARINE'
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to BLACK SABBATH sailor'
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to kiss sailor'
Eiffel Tower attacker 'wanted to kill soldier'
animatio, a blowjob from a puppet
phone posting
not being sure whether you like Godzilla or kind of want to like Godzilla because you feel that saying you don't like Godzilla is going to be too much work down the line when you say it to someone that likes Gozilla
not being sure whether you like Gorillaz or kind of want to like Gorillaz because you feel that saying you don't like Gorillaz is going to be too much work down the line when you say it to someone that likes Gorillaz
what the hell is on Ross's ass
what the hell is on Joey's head
The entire Bee Movie except every time someone says bee it cuts to that person or bee peeing in Kento's face
really needing to get around to QUEUING in Kento's face
Jaden Smith vs Vegan Mayo Colon Dawn of Justice
that if someone had been able to show you twenty years ago how Jaden Smith went from being able to act well in The Day The Earth Stood Still to being an increasingly wooden mumbly cretin just a few years later, you would have never been stoned again
chin up
that time there was a monster at the end of this 'dex freaking out and it was YOU
clinoppe
if there's an elevator that represents our journey through life then I have farted in it and pressed the button for the wrong floor and all of the other people in the lift know this about me
she smiles and she brings my food and takes the money and is perfectly professional but she will not look at me any more and I'm such a turd
she won't even look at me
when your head is buzzing and you're pretty sure it's the fumes from that woodworm treatment that you've inadvertently huffed
oh no wait a klinoppe is a clinic upstairs yes see I'm stupid and I leap to ludicrous conclusions and then have to walk it back as humiliatingly as possible, I've shit myself
which is why you said nothing of import
the time someone was messing with you and asked who you thought they were and you said anything but "some dude who I kinda know from Ryan's forum, I guess" which would have been the likely answer but you secretly wanted them to be a manic pixie dream girl
she had eyes and everything, the freak
you know the one, the one with the face on the front of her skull
that time when it was now and you still kinda believe that there's only really been the two of us from the start, even though other people have definitely been around, like that guy who got married, and that chick, whatsherface
the time someone was really freaked out for days because they thought you'd hacked them, which is comical to you, and you just posted Prince lyrics and tried to be reasonable, which is kind of a stretch since you're craaazy
the time someone was messing with you and asked who you thought they were and you said "Bicoid Babe"
the time someone was messing with you and asked who you thought they were and you said "Kento"
never finding the regret and or comment that was a lyric from Can You Feel The Love Tonight again, and coming to believe it was simply an exchange you imagined
wondering if the sentence fragment "clinic upstairs" is a regret in itself or a search mistakenly entered
Pokemon Sweetest Pun and Cutest Fruit Based Idiom
clinic upstairs
having no idea what a klinoppe is
when you were young and your heart was an open book you used to say imma get married, you know you did you know you did you know you did, but in this ever changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry
life is quite sad
that of course minus the ticket cost it would have been #XXIII, and at least it wasn't the jackpot or even the next tier, but still
when you were young and your dreams were like "imma get married" and "imma get a job I want to do" and now they're "imma habitually buy a single low yield ticket to a high prize game every week because damn if I didn't fuck everything up years ago"
finding out that if you'd played your lottery numbers wednesday instead of today you'd have made a cool #XXV, which admittedly means your chances of winning anything today are unchanged and you don't have the loss from playing twice a week, but still
"honey do" being the sweetest pun and cutest fruit based idiom you have yet heard
simonkolleite
abhurite
I don't think I even had one back then
A British survey in two thousand five suggested that forty five% of British adults own but do not use sandwich toasters
MORE LIKE AN A HOLE
I FOUND A LOOPHOLE
you are a MONSTER
meeting David Jaffels
meeting David Jeffers
seeing the picture of David Jeffers and wondering how Adam Duritz and Tim Curry managed to keep their love child secret all these years
shot through the cunt, and you're to blame, you give love a bad name
nanus nanus
impressing all those lesbians with big dicks
Simple illustration of heterosexual rusty trombone
whether or not the president is a crook
impressing all those lesbians with big dick
Wayne's wife Diane leaves on a Friday with their daughter Amy for college, leaving Wayne to look after Adam and their teenage son Nick, who struggles with puberty with both hands whenever he thinks he is alone
Wayne's wife Diane leaves on a Friday with their daughter Amy for college, leaving Wayne to look after Adam and their teenage son Nick, who struggles with puberty
bottoming for Rick Moranus in Honey, I Blew the Kids
wanting to see the gritty reboot of Mork & Mindy where Mindy punches Mork in the face is says WELCOME TO ERF
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said Knine CBT and it had lots of dog club stickers in the rear, if anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I though "nah forget it, yo home to Bel Air"
seeing a license plate that said Knine CBT on a car that had lots of dog club stickers in the rear window and thinking that's disgusting, at least make an effort to hide it, but then realising that it's probably not deliberate
eating that one thing of Kim Peek and definitely puking in bed, definitely
having an orgy with ogres in the Orge
The property is not sold to include land or outside space but we suggest a child's playroom or bedroom would be the perfect setting for the grand home
A woman was shot in the vagina and left with "life changing injuries" in a sex game gone wrong
short term memory whatever
Impressing Every Man With Big Boobs, Eh
Man caught vomiting while masturbating atomic Jew, eh
Tyler Perry's Mrs Doubtfire
Will Smith playing Mrs Doubtfire
Will Smith playing Genie
Impressing Any Woman With Little Richard
something something Dickgirl Rachel Stevens something this time next year something seven foot dick on a five foot dickgirl, the aristocrats
The Nut Job II Colon Nutty By Nature
Impressing Any Woman With Big Dick
Honey, I Met Brian Peppers
Honey, I Blew The Pony
Honey, I Eiffel Towered The Kids With A Walrus
Honey, I Sent The Kids To Stay With Your Sister For The Weekend, We can Either Have Sex And Wonder When We Stopped Caring About Each Other Or Try And Fix This Marriage
Queen Elizabeth II becomes bi curious and experiments when drunk , officially making her a minge drinker
Watch BJ fuck Nazis from a wheelchair in a new Wolfenstein Two Colon The New Colossus video
Watch BJ kill Nazis from a wheelchair in a new Wolfenstein Two Colon The New Colossus video
Pixels is one of the most original and enjoyable movies of the year, a smart and often very funny summer action comedy
Sessions vows review of 'a bad mouse penis' amid ramped up leak investigations
Sessions vows review of 'media subpoenas' amid ramped up leak investigations
Man caught watching The Emoji Movie
In the wake of the uproar, lead community manager Sammie Kang, who goes by the evocative handle of "poopieQueen" on Twitter, issued an apology for not previously addressing the shortcomings of the current ban system
Man caught masturbating while vomiting atomic Jew, eh
Man caught masturbating while viewing Thematic Mojo, eh
Man caught masturbating while watching Veto Hoe Jimmie
A sequel series to the classic film "The Karate Kid" is set to launch you on Redtube
A sequel series to the classic film "The Karate Kid" is set to launch on YouTube Red
Man caught masturbating while watching The Emoji Movie
Queen Elizabeth II drinks four cocktails a day, officially making her a binge drinker
the long lost love child of The Love Boat and Hollywood Squares
Woman reportedly spotted fellow passenger typing in large font on a large smartphone
Dubai's Torch Tower on fire again
Honey Colon I Gave The Kids Diabeetus
Agave Syrup, I Shrunk The Kids
blowing up the kids
shrinking the kids
The Weekend of the Walrus
The Day of the Dolphin
keeping all your A's in your a hole
JoJo describes herself as thankful, different and sparkling
Ace Combat Zero Ost Zero
The Secret Service team employed to protect the president and his family at Trump Tower is now headquartered in a trailer outside the building after a lease dispute with the Trump Organization
SO PAY YOUR BEAR INSURANCE, CAPISCE
YOU WOULDN'T WANT BEARS TO BE CARELESS WITH FIRE IN YOUR HOME
Careless Bears
seriously, Careless Bees
Careless Bees
All Star Bee
Allstar but it's Frozen
All Star but it's Sandstorm
that most of the music of the nineties seems to have been droning repetitive crap
YouTube's playlists being secret sick burns
listening to that entire Jamiroquai playlist YouTube suggested
monkhurls
nunchuks
begun the Hand Job Robot War has
INTERNATIONAL CREAM ROBOTS
local milk people
oh yeah tough guy well why don't you prove it
Plumbers Don't Wear Ties
staffle jomping
truffle yomping
waffle stomping
Pokemon Hometown and Large Breasts
Her pictorial was titled "Wholly Tooled!" because of Myers' hometown and large penis
Her pictorial was titled "Wholly Toledo!" because of Myers' hometown and large breasts
I Took Ayman al Fayed Out for Some Frozen Yogurt and Then We Did Some Antiquing
I Took Abu Nidal Shopping
Watermelon Power Bill
jellos on the half shell, watermelon power
rogering Christians with Roger Christian
Black Angel
Comments posted on Norwegian 'Fatherland first' Facebook group call empty seats on bus 'terrifying'
Avril Labrines
Picklebacks
cheap spine
peach penis
medium rare chicken gives lickjobs for twenties
medium rare chicken strips
Pokemon This Dumb Motherfucker Would Lose Your House Keys, Burn Down Your Apartment, Then Try To Sneak Off and Fingerbang Your Stepdaughter
regrets eight one three three one to eight one three three seven
Watermelon Jello in the Shell
Illusion Strawberry Skeleton Jelly Geldof
that one time you cut a watermelon in half, took out the flesh, pressed the juice from it, made jello out of the juice then put it back in the shell and it delicious
Giant Watermelon Jello
Illusion Strawberry Skeleton Jelly
How to make Balloon Chocolate Bowls
Pikachu Sushi Cake
ICE CREAM ROLLS DELICIOUS THAI Oreo Chocolate Brownie
peak teats
peak cocks
chicken mountains
mountain chickens
Baby President, coming this Christmas from Dreamworks
Donald Trump is like if a baby were president but without the capacity for joy
this dumb motherfucker would lose your house keys, burn down your apartment, then try to sneak off and fingerbang your stepdaughter
ATM Cashhold Twenty Eighteen
wanting to make Kento a Baby Back Rib Thickburger
Your last text is the Democrats' slogan for twenty eighteen
proposing closer Anglo American ties by resolving the "ATM", "cash machine", "hole in the wall" language problem with the compromise "ATM cashhole"
If everyone reading this gave #Two, we could keep Wikipedia thriving for years to come
For all those who love Temple of Doom, you've gotta give THE SKELETON QUEEN credit
For all those who love Temple of Doom, you've gotta give CHARLOTTE credit
For all those who love Temple of Doom, you've gotta give George credit
Trump's at least open & honest about his lying
kicking me in Myke Hawke
kicking me in my heart
yes FEATURING JON ANDERSON, TREVOR RABIN, RICK WAKEMAN
yes
fuck marry kill, Catherine Bach, Colleen Camp, Cybill Shepherd
fuck marry kill, Jessie Spano, Jesse Katsopolis, Jesse Duke
H kento
Aynali Martin
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot stable to blow a pony or her left one, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot dumpster to save a steakburger or trannie, legally
Gonanism
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a fuck marry kill or hold thrill kiss kill, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a guy or doll, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a jet or shark, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot kid to save a car or dog, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot dog to save a kid or car, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot carl to save a dog or kid, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a dog or kid, legally
Starting Aug IX, you can break into a hot car to save a kid or dog, legally
Kentonanism
Jonanism
hoing goal hog
going whole hog
Queequeg quickly clears the queer quay
If you thought all of the dinosaurs died millions of years ago, you're wrong
wanting to make Kento a Denver THE LAST DINOSAUR omelette for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Denver omelette for his birthday
'avin' a giggle mate
Even though Choate administrators knew Mr Lyman had given a student a sexually transmitted disease, he left the school with a letter of recommendation, which helped him land a job at Kent Denver
enfance en francais en france
jailbreaking your peanut butter
Jailbreak Colon Inmates used peanut butter to fool guard dog, any size
raping a counting crow or cutting up a teen, any size
raping a counting crow or a teen, any size
this ain't your funky show
I'm actually the one who's been putting this together but as you know, I keep my name out of things because I have no credibility
One of the main problems with the p value, some in the statistics field have suggested, is that non statisticians do not really understand it and because of that, use it incorrectly
Chips Rafferty
Jailbreak Colon Inmates used peanut butter to fool guard dog
Jailbreak Colon Inmates used peanut butter to fool guard
raping a cruel crow or a teen, any size
powering a nuclear reactor, any size
It is revealed that she died of cancer brought on by exposure to Peter's radioactive bodily fluids during intercourse over the years
Trump dictated son's misleading statement on meeting with Russian lawyer
Areola Grande
sqoou!ug Jamal's doods
sqooning Jewel's doods
sbooning Jewel's poops
really feeling your poops
really feeling your boobs
Speed Poo Colon Poo Control
really filling your boobs
really filling your boots
tharting yourself pretty badly
thart
thanks, fanart
I guarantee there's fanart of that exact thing
President Trump taps Joe Arpaio's ass
President Trump taps Joe Arpaio for white mana
President Trump taps Joe Arpaio as new communications director
President Trump has decided to remove Ivanka Trump from her position as daughter, citing his distaste for "losers" as reason
Former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio found guilty of criminal contempt
you i everything else
ALL YOU PISS BABIES CAN EAT MY SHIT I'LL FUCK YOUR WIVES ON YOUR GRAVES
President Trump has decided to remove Anthony Scaramucci from his position as communications director
balls have a ball to me to me to me to me to me to me to me
Chris Lydon gets in walrus fan's face while holding wiener
Ed Wood's Chris or Christie
Although regret is painful, it is an essential component of the human experience
Chris Christie gets in Cubs fan's face while holding nachos
the most bacteria ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman
Bleachy McKay and his best friend Bear
Bleachy and the Bear
Bleachy and the Butt
The Treasure of the Syrian Madhi
A Fistful of Daesh
Big Black Swan Colon An XXX Dickgirl Parody
Bleachy and the Brit
a XXX crossover sequel to Pinky and the Brain and ThunderCats, Snarf in Narf
a crossover sequel to Pinky and the Brain and ThunderCats, Snarf n Narf
I think so, Brain, but who else is going eat green soup but me
it's a good idea but nobody else is going to eat green soup but me
TOMATILLO soup
all the electrical secrets of heaven
a western but instead of yeehaw the cowboys all shout jihad
I think I'm gonna grow my beard out and style it, maybe get some sleeve tattoos, and tomorrow I think I'll go looking for a fixie to ride
just a real simple tomato soup with a complex vegetable stock to add depth
tomato soup
heaven only knows what you might find
what kind of soup
in my defence, the soup I was making that distracted me turned out OK
it's good to be king
first you shrink the pastry, then you burn the cheese, then you really don't feel like putting the strawberries on top and glazing them with thinned down jam
really ruining that cheesecake pretty good lenny face
really ruining that cheesecake pretty good
well, I am, but I won't be afterwards, if you see what I mean
yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it
that's OK, I believe when the body dies the mind, or spirit if you will, inhabiting it ceases to be
but Boyz II Men will have their way with your corpse afterward
I'll let it pass
can't I just fuck the Spice Girls and kill myself afterwards
fuck marry kill, Spice Girls, Boyz II Men, Men at Work
the song Freestyler by the group Bomfunk MC's
Since the Sumerian civilization in the Middle East and the Ancient Egyptian along the shore of the Nile, the largest women were found with royal blood or in a king's harem
the song Captain Jack by the group Captain Jack
UPUP V
Toto IV
seeing a recent picture of Karl Marx
seeing a recent picture of Myke Hawke
seeing a recent picture of Michael Stipe
what list
you really need to be on a list
just now realizing that Dot Warner is naked except for the skirt and gloves
Davison v Loudoun County Board of Supervisors
Horatio Bottomley
British politician sex
JENNIEST RECTUMMETRICTON
bottoming for Bottom Shank in Loud Anus
marrying your CRUNK school teacher
fucking your high school teacher
killing your high school teacher
marrying your high school teacher
bottoming for Otm Shank in Big I
from the producer of BABY FOR SALE and THE STORK DERBY and the director of KART RACER and TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III comes WARGAMES COLON THE DEAD CODE
fuck marry kill, Zoltar machine, WOPR from WarGames, Dexter Riley
also there was this really creepy moment where Big is in the car with Big's Adult Girlfriend at the end and she asks if this is where Child Big lives and he says yes and it's all sad and vulnerable and tender, and man, she really needs to be on a list
towards the end of Big I was thinking wow, I am kind of a pathetic out of my depth manchild like this frankly unlovable mess of a man on the screen, but then I got distracted thinking about how badly the introduction of, say, Facebook would ruin the plot
guess I'm the asshole, plus ca change
my daughter won't even look at me now so either she hooked up with my brother at that wedding last week or I'm the asshole
Jennier Aniston cuts off penis and goes on rampage in Chicago
JENNIEST AnistALWAYSon
Jennier Aniston
Naked man cuts off penis and goes on rampage in Chicago
GOP lawmaker on Murkowski colon 'Snatch a knot in their ass'
Findus Crispy Jar Jar
to Jar Jar is always better than to war war
Findus Crispy Swancakes
The Findus Is Swan, Eh
The Unis Find Swan, Eh
The Fiend I Shun Swan
The Fiendish Nu Swan
The Unfine Dish, Swan
the case of the incredible shrinking airline seat
The Nonviolent Swan
fuck marry kill, Louis Theroux, La Roux, Lulu
signed, Louis Theroux
wondering what is more terrifying, being chased around Neverland by the wraith like form of Michael Jackson, or hearing it crying "your butt is mine!" and "I'm going to lock you up!" as it chases you down in a golf cart
President Trump reportedly once summoned former White House chief of staff Reince Priebus to fuck a fly in the Oval Office during a meeting, according to a Friday report
President Trump reportedly once summoned former White House chief of staff Reince Priebus to kill a fly in the Oval Office during a meeting, according to a Friday report
your butt is mine
World's fastest talking man sings Michael Jackson's BAD in XX seconds
these faggots kid fascists
these faggots dog fascists
these faggots thrill fascists
these faggots hold fascists
these faggots kiss fascists
these faggots fuck fascists
these faggots marry fascists
these faggots kill fascists
The Unfinished Swan
Crystal Bernard's St Bernard Bernard Bernard has joined instagram
wait, I want to redo that one
RIP Crystal Bernard like a year from now
that was fast
Crystal Benard's dog St Bernard Bernard has joined instagram
I would tag Crystal Bernard if I were a dog with an Instagram and she was in my pictures
Kento Kento Kento, I made you out of clay, Kento Kento Kento, you're fat Asian and gay
sighing I made it too weird again
fuck marry kill, Lisa from Weird Science, the Devil from Bedazzled, John Milton from The Devil's Advocate bearing in mind he's an older man so he's maybe more experienced, maybe more likely to be a tender lover or a considerate partner generally
alt dot snoutsisvibes dot eh
alt dot obsessive dot unsith
alt dot obsessive dot shutin
I would tag team Crystal Bernard if I were not in a relationship
A good Christian like Crystal does not go around doing what was alleged
#one, her last name was MISSPELLED!! If this woman knew Crystal as well as she claimed, she would not get that detail wrong
Crystal Bernard Persuasion
any fool can see they're falling
fuck marry kill, THREE Cheers, BUFFALO Wings, Fraisier CAKE
Reince Priebus Forced Back Into Ancient Puzzle Box After Being Tricked Into Saying Name Backwards
fancying an Ethiopian
fuck marry kill, Cheers, Wings, Frasier
no one seems to have been particularly surprised at the presence of an 'Ethiopian'
Pokemon When You Were Young and Your Heart Was An Open Book
Pokemon Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
Pokemon Paul McCartney and Wings
sucking your family off and giving your house a permanent orange paint afro
sucking the paint off your house and giving your family a permanent orange afro
slam it to the left if you're having a good time, shake it to the right if you know that you feel fine, chickens to the front, ha ha
yo papa told me during rough sex that you were an accident and he'd never been happy since you were conceived and as your friend i was pretty shocked and dare I say hurt by this emotionally because he was definitely being sincere
yo papa force fed me beef burgundy
bottoming for Beef Burgundy in Beefy Douches VII
boeuf a la douche de Bourgogne
bitte a la duche de Bourgogne
not wanting to eat a dick
my dog underwent gender reassignment surgery
yo papa bruised my pharynx so bad it felt like I'd blown a pony
seeing this advertisement for "Real Gay Sex" and telling the airport cops you just need a new phone every time
yo papa cockslapped me so hard even the walrus was like "dude chill"
yo papa hurt me so bad the catheter I need now keeps filling up with battery acid
yo papa left me with such horrific rectal injuries the police mistakenly arrested Michael Barrymore
yo papa hurt me so bad during rough sex the paramedics the manager of Steak and Shake called thought I was a real girl
wondering if "your dad damaged me during rough sex" jokes will be the new "yo mama so fat" jokes
seeing this advertisement for "Real Galaxy SEight Reviews" and reading it as "Real Gay Sex Reviews" every single time
as green as grass the dead man never stirs
shouting out dick girls
shouting out dank memes
shouting out rude names
hiding out in treetops
playing silly games
dressing up in costumes
fuck Milton Keynes
fuck my keyboard
Pokemon FMK and FML
honestly he's kind of hard work so having two of you would probably be for the best, but then again, maybe you'd just elope with yourself, I don't really know
I'm still weighing the pros and cons of entering into a bigamous marriage with myself and your father
to answer your question, either is fine
I don't see why you shouldn't be expected to remember things that happened half the 'dex ago with perfect clarity
which honestly I thought you posted
seven five eight three two
wondering if "XXX Jewish women" means thirty Jewish women or like really sexually voracious Jewish women
fuck marry kill, you and my dad, my younger, taller brother and my unacknowledged biological daughter slash crush, I don't know, some kind of shockingly sexy pile of XXX Jewish women under XL but also I'm being boiled alive in coffee
he sure did lenny face
my dad drives a Priebus
I ripped my Priebus once, I couldn't pee standing up for a month
White House tensions flare in the open as Scaramucci rips Priebus in vulgar tirade
the death of APRIL ANNEX
the death of MAY INCURSION
the death of June Foray
Bitch I'm the Shit II
bottoming for things in Things You Should Know Before Trying Butt Plugs VII
VII Things You Should Know Before Trying Butt Plugs
Colours of the world! Spice up your life! Every boy and every girl! Spice up your life! Your mum's your dad! Spice up your life! Ahhhhh freak out! Le freak, c'est chic!
if he'd stop ringing that fucking bell the dogs gave him
Pavlov would be proud
you've fucking ruined me, every time I hear or see Roman Polanski's name now I'm either laughing or trying to think of a really tasteless joke
According to Brown's autobiography, they wanted a carnival party theme, but were too tired to fight about it with the label, and ended up with a concept linked to the theme of world domination
having a Spicy Dickgirls Pleasure, the new seafood flavor corn snack from Nam Noms
fuck marry kill, Los Angeles out of Blade Runner, New York out of The Fifth Element, whatever shithole that's supposed to be out of the Spice Up Your Life music video
fuck marry kill, Billie Joe Armstrong, Neil Armstrong, Stretch Armstrong
having a guilty Spice Dickgirls pleasure
having very needy taste in pop
basically just Who Do You Think You Are and Say You'll Be There
not the sexual kind
having a guilty Spice Girls pleasure
it's one small step for man, one giant boner for mankind
This song didn't become an instant classic of its genre merely because Armstrong said the word "masturbation" on the radio, it's all in the delivery
the unemployment masturbation one would probably have been more appropriate than the empty handed platitudes one
Good Riddance Open Parenthesis Time of Your Life Close Parenthesis
never seeing Seinfeld but wondering if the song was Longview, previously Green Day's best song, kind of bass led, and primarily about chronic masturbation
there's this really big dumpster on Fifth
not knowing much about Green Day beyond that song that was in the last episode of Seinfeld and they played at like every graduation for ten years after it came it
wondering what will become of the US Army's storied Fifty Seventh Dickgirl Brigade
strokelike sudden reminiscences
remembering when everybody suddenly liked Green Day and you were like oh cool finally did they put out a great new album or something but it was just the same old crap done as power ballads instead of post punk and you realised you'd outgrown their work
Babadook dook dook push pineapple shake the tree
You Can't Actually Love Patty Jenkins Films Without Understanding Queer Icon The Babadook
wondering if it is Too Soon for a snack brand bringing the flavors of South East Asia to the Western world, Nam Noms
doe, a deer, an LGBTQ deer
Kidstuffer Lydon
Kid Fisto
I have had it with these dogfucking students on these dogfucking trains
I have had it with these kidfucking teachers on these kidfucking planes
A teacher who had sex with a student in a plane toilet on a school trip has been banned from the profession
Liger Moms
Kento, the arse that never sleeps
he could have been a liger
said Kento, never
my arse has gone to sleep
Cecil the lion's brother Jericho, who is also a lion
I didn't really have a joke there, it just sounds funny, "booby hatch"
repealing Senator Booby Hatch
Senator Hatch's full comments on the issue of transgender Americans in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
The Muntjack Boys brand consists of masturbation sleeves and dildos molded from the bodies of gay deer
Senator Hatch's full comments on the issue of transgender Americans in the military
good for them
The Fleshjack Boys brand consists of masturbation sleeves and dildos molded from the bodies of gay pornstars
you're ucking kidding
it's not that, there was only one f
THE COVENANT
NO NO NO NO NO NO
Your potential regret of NO NO NO NO NO has already been added!
not actually knowing how many stroopjafels you've eaten today, but it being a number between seven and two, because there are still some left
not actually knowing how many stroopwafels you've eaten today, but it being a number between seven and two, because there are still some left
having been home for like a week and already having spooned like three entire Jewels of cheez tits
gnome milk today, my lover's gotta wait
having been home for like a week and already having eaten like three entire boxes of cheez its
Dickelback Girl
Nickelback Girl Man held after deadly king cobras smuggled into US in potato chip cans
sorry, I'll use simpler words next time
I could be slow I don't know you just went over my head I don't understand a word you just said
maple leaf muscle is who you need to look up
Pokemon I'm A Genetic Freak and I'm Not Normal
Scott Steiner's Math Promo Sacrifice
too bad its in Japanese i wanna know what he said to make pepper go all OoO i'm guessing it had to do with kids aha
Oxnard and Pepper are going to get married and all the Ham Hams are happy to watch Oxnard and Pepper get married
As long as Skittering Crustacean is monstrous, it has hexproof
topping for Samuel L Jackson in Snake in the Cans but having all your scenes cut from it before it was released as just another Die Hard movie
The Motherfucking Cans of Benjamin Buttocks
I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in these motherfucking cans
winning first place for Most Likely To Suffer Severe Neurological Failure Licking The Inside Of A Pringles Can Male with seventeen votes
These "Snake in the Cans" are getting harder and harder to pull off on someone
party snakes
Nickelback Girl
Man held after deadly king cobras smuggled into US in potato chip cans
Nickelback Cage, Marvel superhero
simultaneously serving as jailer to and bottoming for Nickelback in Nickelback Cage
I would watch that
a live action remake of Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas featuring Shaq Skellington
mainly because you've come to think of it as a place where you converse with only one other person, even if that probably isn't strictly true
finding it weird when British spellings and idioms appear in regrets from before you began posting on the amazing Regret Index
Then comes Sir Walter Scott with his enchantments, and by his single might checks this wave of progress, and even turns it back
jouer aux boules dans le defile avec vos balles en defile
Black v The Queen
The Guinness World Records named the Touhou Project as the "worlds blithest fanmade cobra boner series"
The Guinness World Records named the Touhou Project as the "worlds most prolific fanmade shooter series"
junking Jewel's bonds
junkillating Jewel's tits
tits for your junkillation
junk for your titillation
in the summer time, when Phil Collins is next
Phil Collins is next!
can we just please go one day without you asking me to grab my junk for your titillation
licking another man's genitals in a nonsexual way, no homo
grab your things, I've come to take you home
Yojimbo Wales, look Yojimbo
Yojimbo Wales
Olive Empoylee
the world's blithest GI JOE boners
the world's boniest brothel crabs
the world's best bronco herbalist
the world's blithest cobra boners
the world's noblest rose bra bitch
the traditional Mystery Screws
the world's shortest ribbon cable
The Designated Ugly Fat Friend found in a group of walruses out on the town
a person, now often elderly, who is incompetent, ineffectual, or dawdling
The Designated Ugly Fat Friend found in a group of girls out on the town
it was probably one of Kento's clique talking about fucking duffers
overhearing one stranger say to another "you've got to buff that fucker" in public and really wanting to go back and listen to more of what they were talking about
I already have the fanart drawn
dang, I was hoping you would say you wanted to be in a threeway with Taylor Swift and Thomas the Tank Engine, Tim Allen noise
fuck marry and kill 'em all, god will know his own
fuck marry kill, Taylor Swift, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor, Jonathan Swift, Thomas Swift, Thomas the Tank Engine, please choose two for each
Duritz was reported to be CARBON dating SOCIOPATHIC actress OSCAR POSSUM
Duritz was reported to be dating Shameless actress Emmy Rossum
FU Comcast
Adam Levine's five disc concept album about that time a female Comcast empoylee put him on hold for almost three minutes while she corrected his bill and gave him six months free cable to make up for the error, but he didn't think she sounded sincere
being allowed to choose five celebrities you're allowed to kill when there were only four Golden Girls
fuck marry kill, Adam Duritz, Adam Levine, Adam Ant
flyin' 'cross the land, tryin' to get a ham, playin' in a travellin' band
The Five Celebrities You Bang In Heaven
liking your women like you like your meat, cut up in Adam Duritz's chili
There's a piece of Maria in every chili that I cook
There's a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
Enhanced Controls Needed for Access to Excess Controlled Property cutting up Maria
Enhanced Controls Needed for Access to Excess Controlled Property
cutting up Maria
man I wish I was beautiful
Mr Jones and me, licking each other's genitals in a nonsexual way
it's the eye of the tiger it's the thrill of the tiger rising up to the challenge of our tiger
so many tigers, it happens to tigers
entering into a full multi year physical and emotional relationship with another man in a nonsexual way
swiping right on another man's profile, meeting up with him, having sex with him and never calling him again in a nonsexual way
The Million Man Lick
that's easy, done it a million times
tricking a straight man into licking another straight man's genitals in a nonsexual way
dusting and polishing mixing boards
jubilant rape scat
jubilant ape scat
It says something that the strongest number is practically lyricless, an ape party consisting of jubilant scat singing
Review Colon Even Phil Collins' mediocre songs can't dampen this 'Tarzan'
RIP LORD Snooty AND HIS PALS
thank you Taco for that loving tribute to Falco
the weird EXODUS phase your LARGE brother went through around age FOUR PI, wherein he became an aficionado of EXODUS and bought everything they had produced on LASERDISC, including GALOSHESCROTCHES
plus all the crap Phil Collins ever dropped
the weird Genesis phase your little brother went through around age eleven, wherein he became an aficionado of Genesis and bought everything they had produced on CD, including bootlegs
wandering to the youtube video for Sussudio and noticing that you disliked it already, which must have been like at least five years ago
I'm just going to assume that's a fisting joke
she reaches in and grabs right hold of Myke Hawke
she seems to have an invisible tush
wondering how many victims of Phil Collins' sexual advances have been ignored due to his invisible bad touch
licking another man's waffle iron in a pansexual way
there's this one dog in a GENESIS car barking right at the start with an invisible touch
licking another dog's genitals in a nonsexual way
there's this one dog in a police car barking right at the start with a visible erection
finding the depiction of suburban nineteen eighties dogs in the opening of YUGE to be absolutely fucking insufferable
finding the depiction of suburban nineteen eighties kids in the opening of Big to be absolutely fucking insufferable
licking another man's genitals in a nonconsensual way
Snooty McSnootyface
RIP Snooty
The South Florida Museum announced that Snooty the manatee has died at sixty nine
Men Arena, coming this fall to Fox!
men ARENA, typically for sexual encounters
men, typically for sexual encounters
women, typically for sexual encounters
guessing that the fewer keys a laptop has the lower the load on memory
that your janky laptop which is either five or seven years old now, you genuinely forget, can load the entire list of regrets, but the word cloud site you were using to check weightings can't load the entire list any more, and hasn't been able to for ages
no one dare disturb the sound of siege tanks
the sound of siege tanks
just now realizing that the laptop you got a year and a half ago has the power to load the entire list of regrets, unlike your old one
killing the Newfoundland and Labrador girls
breeding a cross Labradildo
breeding a Labradildo cross
Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador this place turns honest men to thieves
Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador
this place turns honest men to thieves
trust me, they don't need to practice
the practice of leks of walruses who target overweight or obese men, typically for sexual encounters
the practice of groups of men who target overweight or obese women, typically for sexual encounters
Bob Loblaw's Dogging Blog
Kid With A Butt Blog
Kid With A Butt Plug
snarfs TWICE your girth
snarfs half your girth
snarfs half your age
snaus half your age
snausages
the remote and fairly insane possibility that your unacknowledged daughter might be at the same wedding as your younger, taller brother today
Cocoa Police Chief Mike Cantaloupe
An event wherein a person who has recently defecated, requests a rimjob from another person
wanting to just smile and give Kento a vegemite sandwich for his birthday
desktop is fine
just not feeling any need for a constant stream of "just LOOK at what THESE ASSHOLES did NOW" right to your pocket
giving up mobile twitter because twitter is a fairly depressing serving of politics for you
not having used Echofon in a while but not recalling it serving Twitter ads and being pretty sure there's an ad free upgrade to the basic version
Fifty Shades of Gold
Dog With A Butt Plug
These boys thought they'd found 'a big, fat rotten cow'
If you've ever been harmed by Korean ramen, this ad is for you
Dog With A Restraining Order
She has no boobs at all i just want her to grow some boobs so i can titie fuck her and her pussy and make her cum hard and she will suck my cock so hard she will suck the sperm out of it thats all repla
not being able to dismiss ads on twitter anymore so you just block whatever account gives you an ad
Coffee with Viagralike ingredient recalled after FDA discovery
bottoming for Dick "Hammer" Bumhard in I Don't Have a Joke Prepared VII
Richard Bernard "Dick" Hammer
He exuded an overtly sexual, macho cool with his flowing locks, and lithe and exuberant stage movements
Miley Cyrus was talking at the cloning center last night, saying that she is going to be needing songs and that I WILL be making them
Lassie currently weighs over two hundred and fifty pounds
Dog With a Fat Fetish Wiki
Dog With A Picture Of Kento Being Eiffel Towered By Chris Lydon And A Walrus
Dog With An Amazing Regret Index
Dog With A Celebrity Height Guide
Dog With A Twitch Stream
Dog With An Instagram
Dog With A Yelp Following
Dog With A High TripAdvisor Rating
Toilet Cum Whores Clan, for the budget StarBangers experience
Toilet Cum Whores Clan might make mistakes every now and then but they're good people
Toilet Cum Whores Clan has since cancelled the fine and apologised
Tower Hamlets Council has since cancelled the fine and apologised
Celebrity Butt Size Guide
shittin' here eating Myke Hawke out waiting
sittin' here eating my heart out waiting
Celebrity Height Guide
Francesca Capaldi also starred in Dog with a Blog, another of my airplane favorites, which is one of the best shows ever made about a dog with a blog
fuck marry kill, Fracesca Capaldi, Chester Bennington, zombie Jane Austen
there are now two keys missing from my keyboard, it's very distracting
Francesca Capaldi, Zane Austin love interest
wowee
Francesca Capaldi, Chester Bennington, Zane Austin love interest
anyway, yesterday on the airplane I watched Max II Colon White House Hero which is an amazing and wonderful piece of shit and you should totally watch it
The Crocodile Hunter Colon Collision Course
a country where professions like "rain man", "horse whisperer" and "crocodile dundee" are common
a country where professions like "rain man", "ghost whisperer" and "crocodile charmer" are common
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Hulk Dookie
your phone having learned Kento, but also to put smearing after Kento
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Steve Jobs and like a million ants
topping for Michael J Fox in I See You Baby, Shaking That Ass VII
bottoming for My Cool Gay Fox in Arch Your Back In Future VII
APPLE Watch ants build a 'miraculous' living Eiffel Tower
jokes that are either Kento or Woodsy Alan
putting your foot in your mouth so often that you're worried about stomatoes
the death of Best Gent Corn Inn, eh
bottoming for Huge Ackman in Entering the Cyclops VII
entering the WOLVERINE
Nobody's entering me
entering the Cyclops, if you know what I mean
Sometimes when entering the Cyclops, the AI will say "You are the best captain on this planet, I'm not even squidding"
Watch DECS build a 'miraculous' living Eiffel Tower
Watch ants build a 'miraculous' living Eiffel Tower
I'm not your chaps, assless
I'm not your bloke, chap
I'm not your guy, mate
I'm not your mate, guy
wondering if you have any great recipes for mates too
one of the greatest living authors
Chester Bennington, Jane Austen love interest
He's a great guy, Smart, Strong, Loves holding my hand
as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared, but in the end, it didn't really matter
Mr Bennington, who was known for his piercing scream and free flowing anguish
Chester Bennington, I hardly know 'er!
the death of Chester Bennington
we didn't Eiffel Tower, it was always burning since the world's been turning
we didn't Eiffel Tower, we're just shrewd observers of the strange and perverse
Trainy McTrainface
he do his scat, splat
he cast his last pod
he died how he lived, facefucking an obese Asian man
RIP Chris Lydon
feeling like Chris Lydon has got another two or three years in him at most, and all these rough sex regrets are going to be even weirder when they're about a dead guy
Leeloo L E L O Leeloo le le le le Leeloo Dallas MultiPass
realising during your shower that if terrorists were to destroy the Eiffel Tower tomorrow, a large proportion of the amazing Regret Index would suddenly be in very poor taste indeed
having a light pink voice
Lolo L O L O Lolo lo lo lo lo Lolo
Sex Change Record Colon Kink Speaks
Lola L O L A Lola la la la la Lola
having a dark brown voice
bottoming for Tgirl Rex in JurASSic Parts VII
Dickgirli Chickifela
Lorie Slenderswan
Lorie Slenderman
DEEP FRIED VETERAN FLOOZIES
fried green tomatoes
wondering if you have any great recipes for TOMATOES
preferably ones thar don't involve volume measures in a different obsolescent system to the obsolescent system I'm used to, unless they're super amazing
wondering if you have any great recipes for tomatillos
having your vagina amputated by Wolf Tribs
having your penis amputated by Dog Scissors
having your penis amputated by Kid Rock
then why do you keep catching the matinee show every week
what you jack off to is none of my business
I'm not your mom, you don't have to lie about stuff that shows up in your search history to me
legitimately getting a fatworld image in the second line of a desktop Google image search and recognising it for what it was before you moused over to confirm the url
Girli Chickifela
Lorie Sisterman
wanting to peel Kento's grapes for his birthday
wanting to plant a seed in Kento's mudhole for his birthday
wanting to mow Kento's lawn for his birthday
mee'ing 'er a' 'he plane'arium
Grover Cleveland, I only just me 'er
Looso Stool, Jedi master
your little furry pal with benefits, Grover
lease steal
fock morro koll, Korbon Dollos, Corbon Bornson, Joromo Corbon
loose stool
fuck marry kill, Elmo, Grover, Cookie Monster
SUBORBITAL Sanders
Orbital Sanders
Barefoot AND PREGNANT Sanders
into temptation, over in doubt
Barefoot Sanders
fuck marry kill, Colonel Sanders, Bernie Sanders, Charles Sanders
fuck marry kill, Korben Dallas, Corbin Bernsen, Jeremy Corbyn
standing over cajeta
Toolor Swoft
mo ponk wonk, mo problems
Mo Ponk Wonk, podracing champion
Mo Ponk Wonk
My Brown Crown
My Pank Wank
My Pink Wink
the death of Taylor Swift
I thought she might have been dead
finding it really difficult to care either way about Taylor Swift things
rubbing one out in the Texas School Book Depository
doing Dallas without lubrication
Taylor Swift NOT Carried In Suitcase Out Of Apartment, Despite Reports
doing it without lucubration
In an attempt to end hostilities, Bill Cosby spoke on the NBC affiliate television station KNBC and asked people to stop what they were doing and instead watch the final episode of The Cosby Show
Irish neutrality
Chicago is now the largest place in the country to eradicate wealth based detention
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE BOVINE COLON THERE IS ONLY LAW
Coworker put his ork in my cow colon lawsuit
we would not have screened anyone he was meeting with at the time
Coworker put his penis in my lunch sandwich colon lawsuit
if you mess with the woggle you're gonna get the horns
taking the woggle by the horns
sucking more than a cowboy's horse but less than Custer's one night stand
morning came into my room, caught me dreaming like a fool
The song was used in the season five Scrubs episode "My Chopped Liver", when JD dreams that Turk gives him his bottom
NDAs of
Gnus of Discontent
TROMPE L'OEIL steaks
we barely not sold any actually no steaks
we literally almost sold no steaks
Anus of Discontent
Whitmore v Arkansas
the death of Martin Landau
Meat from the animals, which came from Portugal and several parts of northern Spain, was processed and sent to Belgium, a major horsemeat exporter
the death of George Romero being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by Springsteen
the death of George Romero
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by Springsteen
my kisses used to turn you inside out
Owen Wilson, but all of the words he says are replaced by something neither pretentious nor moronic
Home Improvement but all of the Tim Allen noises are replaced by Chewbacca noises
Star Wars, but all of the light saber sounds are Tim Allen noises
wishing that there were a way in or out of Ely by road that isn't absolute dogshit
Star Wars, but all of the light saber sounds are Owen Wilson saying "wow"
Pokemon Blokes and Ho Row
hookin' with Julio down by de schoolyard
Hookin' With Julio
best Pokemon game ever
Pokemon Hookers and Blow
wondering how much James Dyson and or Dyson executives have spent on hookers and blow since the early nineteen nineties
feeling bad enough when your money was just going to buy George Lucas more chin fattening grease, and definitely not wanting to give Disney executives any more hookers & coke money after their stash from Frozen runs dry
topping for Releif Eriksson in A Whole New World VII
spelling releif
thinking of several things you'd shell out two hundred big ones to releive
thinking of several things you'd shell out two hundred big ones to relive
still not seeing The Force Awakens or Rue e Goon and feeling like not seeing them is simply petulance on your own part
"When you step in to the world, you're the pathetic manchild willing to shell out two hundred big ones to relive his childhood for a few hours," Chris Beatty, Disney Imagineer and executive director of the new expansions said
"When you step in to the world, you're the hero," Chris Beatty, Disney Imagineer and executive director of the new expansions said
Star Wars Colon Galaxy's Edge
RHOMBICOSIDODECAHEDRONING Jewel's CENTER OF GRAVITY
PENTAGONAL PRISMING Jewel's LUNGS
cubing Jewel's boobs
intubating Jewel's boobs
lubing Jewel's boobs
The New Gidget
Coolin' With Pussio
Black Scottish people
playing DayZ with Jay Z
Jaywalkin' With Jay Z
Coolin' With Cookio
Cookin' With Coolio
the death of Imam "Hazy" Mark Iran
the death of Maryam Mirzakhani
I'll be the judge of that, signed, Dickgirl Rachel Stevens
Myke Hawke is too big
making Kento a peanut buster parfait for his birthday
eating a peanut buster parfait makes me feel good
eating a peanut buster parfait
I wouldn't rub dick ball groin in my house, hon
listening to your brother explaing why his Hotmail account is still going and how you have to get the country code right or some Chinese guy gets the messages instead
One of the things with the wall is you need transparency
I wouldn't drink rubbing alcohol in my house
Operation Swill
Just like you have seen in the movie, there will be very shoort and Scientological men from all over the world serving drinks, dancing on the bar, and doing the most funniest and unimaginable things
VERY PREETY plumcots
keep on rapping cause that's my dream
A smoking, drinking, and perverted gray stuffed bunny who lives in the Malloy basement, often discussing his life in "the toy bin", his success stories with women, or ranting about cynical topics
Mario C likes to keep it clean!
reverse cowdickgirl
fuck marry kill, Joe C, Mario C, CC Peniston
PRETTY plumcots
Just like you have seen in the movie, there will be very preety and sensual women from all over the world serving drinks, dancing on the bar, and doing the most funniest and unimaginable things
if Kid Rock sees his own shadow when he emerges from his hole there will be four more years of Florida
fuck marry kill, The Rock, Kid Rock, Rock Hudson
plumcots
Joe C and Gary Coleman dueled while Ron Jeremy pretended to do the piano solo
sucking more than a cowdickgirl's horse
wired sith
weird shit
sucking a cowboy's horse but nothing more, you're not into any weird shit
how clear it is that dickgirl Clarissa Dickson Wright's dick's on right
not knowing how many children Beyonce has but guessing a number between twelve and thirty because you kind of remember her being pregnant several times over what feels like decades
Pokemon Sir Carter and Rumi
worst Pokemon game ever
Pokemon Britain is Incapable of Managing Brexit and Calamity Will Follow
Sarjenka
stealing dickgirl Nikki Cox's penis
carrying Jim Carrey to the gym
assuming, that is, that it can avoid predators, such as this capulas mensam
freed from the confines of its old shell, this hallux is able to grow to almost twice its previous size before its new shell hardens
learning that it takes about four months for the nail on your big toe to completely replace itself
regrets about Guns n Roses being
regrets about Guns n Roses eating
regrets about Guns n Roses sucking
regrets about cowboy's horse sucking
where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise plant breeder's rights
loquats
omentum
where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence
Plant breeders' rights
Britain is incapable of managing Brexit and calamity will follow
Upon exiting the stage, Axl Rose shouted to fans to have a good day and "maybe bring crullers next time," but was unaware of the buffet in the dressing room at the time
Upon exiting the stage, Axl Rose shouted to fans to have a good day and "don't kill yourselves," but was unaware of the deaths at the time having not actually seen the Wild Wild West
Upon exiting the stage, Axl Rose shouted to fans to have a good day and "don't kill yourselves," but was unaware of the deaths at the time
having not actually seen the Wild Wild West
you don't wanna see my hand where my horse be at
Twink's Arboretum and Inhouse
regrets about hamboning
Bear's Arboretum and Outhouse
BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse
Data's Log Cabin
Riker's Island
MTA Bone II Colon Lost In New York
regrets about MTA boning, I'm walkin' here
regrets about Homer boning Bart
regrets about BART boning
seeing a clip of that Noah crapfest and thinking it seems pretty much like the movie Sauron supporters would have turned Lord of the Rings into
regrets about Homer boning
regrets about lamb boning
Leonardo Retardo
wanting to make Kento a Turkey Devonshire sandwich for his birthday, yinzer
wanting to make Kento city chicken for his birthday
being first pleasured, then tortured, the killed by a leg of lamb
beating a leg of lamb on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly
slowly, sensually, seductively boning a leg of lamb
carefully boning a leg of lamb
I've got nothing against faggots, I just don't fancy them
colonial goose
Pokemon Neeps and Tatties
taking a selfie of Myke Hawke
The United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit in San Francisco hears a case on whether or not a Celebes crested macaque owns their selfie
using the word "waffletastic" banging a Tim Burton heroine sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm
bottoming for William Carlos Williams in kitchen shenanigans
the pretty plum is for popping up your bum
and the pretty plum I ordered was way too sweet
I ordered the kneidlach and they gave me kreplach and then they got all mashugana when I kvetched, qapla
I don't know, human contact sounds pretty plum to me
trust me, it wasn't worth the trouble
if you've gotta go, go with a smile
that was exactly what I ordered
getting a blue lobster from dickgirl Natalie Portman in the dumpster behind Yonah Shimmel's Knish Bakery, oy vey
ridged for his pleasure
choking on his or her penis
Homo Bono
Homer Bone
yeah, Eleanor is a bitch
she also called me a racist
I ordered one from Eleanor but apparently it wasn't kosher so it never happened
you've obviously never received a blue lobster
having never understood the attraction of recreational use of nitrous oxide
because rats like us, maybe we were sworn to run
This is subject to subject and cannot be guaranteed
Brick Springhorn and the Tenth Avenue Band
with a rebel yell, honk honk honk
Kento getting a tattoo on his ass that reads "FREE BIRD SEED" with an arrow pointing to his asshole
Kento getting a tattoo on his ass that reads "ALL YOU CAN EAT" with an arrow pointing to his asshole
Kento's ass opening up in a restaurant
Silver Throat, Colon, Bill Cosby Stings
opening up a restaurant in Kento's ass
the activity in which a girl will do nitrous and give head to a guy until she literally dies choking on his or her penis and then you take a picture
Macron to treat Trump to blue lobster in plush Eiffel Tower restaurant
rubbing one out in the early aughts
There's nothing that fifteen thousand men or more could ever do
It is my opinion that no fifteen thousand men ever arrayed for battle can take that position
Bill Cosby Talks to Lawyers About Cruel Anal
Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Cruel Anal
Bill Cosby Talks to Labs About Cruel Anal
Bill Cosby Talks to Dogs About Drugs
Silver Throat Colon Bill Cosby Sings
Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs
Prude Syphon Raping Center v Robins
Pruneyard Shopping Center v Robins
Kirk & Spock ride the bus
Star Trek Colon The Wrath of Sulu
wondering if there was ever a time since the late nineteen forties when New York real estate was not valuable
topping for F Scott Dracula in F F Scott Dracula
bottoming for F Scott Dracula in The Very Hungry Gatsby Killer
suggesting to a young Scott Bakula that Enterprise will totally be the best Star Trek series ever, go for it
suggesting to a young Larry Craig that he should probably stay away from Minnesota airport restrooms
suggesting to a young Elizabeth Windsor that ruling Britain could have a future in it
suggesting to a young Olsen twin that acting might be a route towards becoming a drug dealer
suggesting to a young John Fitzgerald Kennedy that politics might be a career path
so I guess we know who's to blame for this
Because of the time travel aspect, many episodes allude to famous people or incidents indirectly, such as Sam suggesting to young Donald Trump that New York real estate will be valuable in the future
Colorado Beatle Hears the News Today 'Oh Boy' as Steps Into the Quantum Leap Accelerator and vanishes
Colorado Beatle Hears the News Today 'Oh Boy' as He Wakes Up, Falls Out of Bed, Drags a Comb Across His Head
Colorado Beetle Hears 'Crunching Sound' as He Awakes to Lebia grandis Biting His Head
bottoming for the three muskehounds in Barbie and the Three Muskehounds
being John Malkovich eating bees
bottoming for the three musketeers in Barbie & The Three Musketeers
Colorado Teen Hears 'Crunching Sound' as He Awakes to Twink Biting His Head
Barbie & The Three Musketeers
Penn State frat where NJ teen died could become eating club
little ditty, 'bout Bishop Doane, Presidential guinea pig doing the best he can
Colorado Teen Hears 'Crunching Sound' as He Awakes to Bear Biting His Head
we elected the wrong Carter
Admiral Dewey, Bishop Doane, Dr Johnson, Father O'Grady, Fighting Bob Evans
that Donald Trump is the first US President since James K Polk to not have any known pets
When John Williams found out about pony blowing, he knew it would be perfect for his orchestra
When John Williams found out about goat yoga, he knew it would be perfect for his orchestra
When Paul Williams found out about goat yoga, he knew it would be perfect for his cemetery
"The medics pulled my pants down and there was blood everywhere," he recalls, adding he avoided serious injury because the horn came near his anus and testicles but missed them
After many years of silence, around the same time as the Fifth Holy Grail War would have happened, the Yggdmillennia, a family of magi, openly declares their secession from the Mage's Association, and that they are in possession of the Grail
The first episode focuses on Haru, a girl who transforms into a fighter jet while trying to catch a hat blowing away in the wind
Minnesota Vikings Sex Boat Colon The Next Wave
Love Boat Colon The Next Wave
Kerbal Space Program
you can blame Brexit for that, I think
which is bullshit
I never saw that show and Eleanor keeps saying they don't ship internationally
I heard that there's a good deal on the seventh runner up from season three of Flavor of Love, you might want to check that out
on the other hand, Meatball Parade
Gimli hasn't called in years
I was even saying I'd take something from the discount section which is like failed Apprentice contestants from ten years ago but apparently that's no good
at least you still have Gerri
Eleanor can be such a bitch sometimes
I was making a chocolate roulade for a bunch of old people because I'm an idiot
in unrelated news, pretty sure Deli Daughter hates or pities but finds me repulsive and is now just being professional, Homeless Magazine Girl is probably getting deported after Brexit and it's heartbreaking, and Eleanor is still refusing my vouchers
were you at least going to draw a dick in icing on it or something
oh, that's not sexy at all
I was supposed to make a cake but for some reason totally forgot about chocolate seizing
just wanting to confirm that "the plan" was to sprink the chocolate onto her breasts as you kneaded them, then presumably lick the melted chocolate off
letting me get some action from the back section
not wanting to say to someone "you can't melt that chocolate properly because it's too humid, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge" and thereby depress them, and so ruining the chocolate and the plan
not wanting to say to someone "you can't melt that chocolate properly because it's too humid" and thereby depress them, and so ruining the chocolate and the plan, thereby depressing them
not wanting to say to someone "you can't melt that chocolate properly because it's too humid" and thereby depress them, and so ruining the chocolate and the plan
sprinking makes me feel good
bursting makes me feel good
Weber Cooks
Bursting BBC
Xplosovo Pozzo
Bursting BBW
Sprinking Sour Cream & Onion
slamming her left one until she had a sour cream & onion
slamming your sour cream & onion in the car door
Slamming Sour Cream & Onion, if you know what I mean
Slamming Sour Cream & Onion
Bursting BBQ
Xplosive Pizza
you're doing it wrong
wondering why they call it a blow job when you're not blowing into anything
wondering why the call those orange fish "goldfish"
spoonong Jowol's boobs
a Hoth native destroyed an airship while being transported over Theed, a wampa balloon pop atop Naboo
breaking that girl's legs in the communal shortening room
breaking up with mama's little baby because she didn't believe you when you said your cookie recipe was better with butter than with shortening
bowdlerizing Jewel
Spoonerizing Bewel's Joobs
when you're near the rain just disappears, dear
you're gonna miss me by walk, you're gonna miss me by taco
spooting Jewel's hooners
hooting Jewel's spooners
I'm going to miss you sinking your fingertips into my inches, but if that's how you feel, I guess it can't be helped
I CAN'T WAKE UP
WAKE ME UP
spooning Jewel's hooters
you've said goodbye, too many times before
there's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
couldn't love you more
Darude Sandstorm speeding up with every "DuDuRuDuDu"
Smashmouth Recreated From Windows XP Sounds
bad moon white again
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe in you, believe in herself, or know that you believe in love, der der du du du
SEINFELD x SMASHMOUTH MASHUP
Nazi WHYCAN'TWEBEFRIENDSS
a crossover remake of War Of The Worlds and A Case Of Spring Fever, No Shields
watching Rambo II with Raimbaut II
going all the way to Orange County and not meeting the Count of Orange
Easy "Free Form" Strawberry Tart
the town appears to have recovered well from the monorail disaster, as it is now changed from a ghost town to a thriving community with multiple businesses Bart enjoys
laughing at the thought of that crying guy with the funny looking face in The OC, which is the only imagery you remember from the show besides some obvious adults pretending to be kids at a party
all the hooters in Hooterville
They are strong in numbers in such California communities as Riverdale, Brockway, Ogdenville, Hooterville, District XII, and North Haverbrook
laughing at the thought of a meth peddling gang in The OC, then remembering that Disneyland is also there
They are strong in numbers in such California communities as Oildale, Bakersfield, Lancaster, Inland Empire, Rosamond and Orange County
Axl Rose producing unstoppable bacteria
Oral sex producing unstoppable bacteria
Nazi Lowriders
plunge
plush flush snake, Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, Gonzo
bottoming for Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, and Gonzo in Gonzo Guano Plumbers VII
finding out in the course of researching a fake porno title joke about plumbers that Gonzo from the Muppets is a plumber by trade
I'll take whatever consequences come my way but I'd be shocked if this went as far as court
Campbell said it wasn't evidence of anything except that a Japanese ship, the Koshu Maru which is rumoured to have taken the Americans to Saipan, an island further north was once in Jaluit Harbour
gorgies
fancying a Chinese bloody hard
Occasional British English spelling and terminology such as the phrase "bloody hard" in both source code comments and forum postings led to speculation that Nakamoto, or at least one individual in the consortium claiming to be him, was of Commonwealth ori
A priest is arrested and questioned over an alleged drug induced gay orgy hosted in his apartment in the Vatican City
The Trippy Show
booting tech in Tooting Bec
where the fruit is as sweet as can be
testifying about the taste of money
Tooting Bec tube station
Queer Lucid Soil buys Guano Plumber
an anti drugs morality play based on The Tripods, The Trip OD's
Cirque du Soleil buys Blue Man Group
tooting Beck's bra in a Tooting Bec bar
tooting that girl's bra in the communal laundry room
the kike known as Bra Toots, eh
the kike known as Sabretooth
CENTRAL Jewel
Doctors warn against new trend of women putting BATTLEFIELD EARTH in their vagina
Doctors warn against new trend of women putting glitter in their vagina
Eastern Jewel
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe you when you said your pussy recipe was better with LENGTHENING than with butter
Sisyphus making an endless fuss about sissies
rendering the fat from bresaola in a frying pan to make a bacon substitute
shit on a shingle
breaking up with a girl because she didn't believe you when you said your cookie recipe was better with LENGTHENING than with butter
John Carpenter's Escape from Lou Albano
John Carpenter's Escape from Louisiana
playing telephone with Myke Hawke
the sorbet is OK, I'm not sure about the peppers in drool
sounds like a nice dinner
sialogogy
elderflower sorbet
sambuca
banana peppers
Florida gun sits on man, shoots penis in self, police say
Florida man sits on gun, shoots self in penis, police say
fuck marry kill, Jewel Kilcher, Cybill Shepherd, Jewel Shepard
starting a cow electrocution business with loans from Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis, Moo Lightning
starting a ruminant veterinary hospital with a grant from Cybill Shepherd, Cybill Shepherd's Sterile Sheep Ward
starting a website dedicated to exposing every time Cybill Shepherd ever misspoke or said something she didn't really mean because she was put on the spot and it sounded good, Cybill Shepherd's Febrile, Cheap Words
starting a heterosexual fan forum for Cybill Shepherd, Cybill Shepherd's Cyber Chap Herd
Pokemon Grosset and Dunlap
Mr Burns have lots of books in his Library, and one of these were Clue in The Clock
HanAssholeSolo, dildo smuggler
starting a love train, love train
HanAssholeSolo, roguish smuggler
HanAssholeSolo
as bumless ox
buxom lasses
bottoming for Nina Semen in My Baby Don't Walk Right For Days VII
Crescentia alata
secretly pretending to be one of those hissy dinosaurs when you yawn
Seedless bananas and grapes are triploids, and seedlessness results from the abortion of the embryonic plant that is produced by fertilization, a phenomenon known as stenospermocarpy, which requires normal pollination and fertilization
cucurbits
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the toothpaste into the asshole trope
if there's a minty fresh center to Kento's ass you're in the place it's farthest from
shaking your groove thing
if there's a dark center to Kento's ass you're in the place it's farthest from
if there's a bright center to the universe you're in the place it's farthest from
bullseyeing womp rats in Kento's canyon in your Tsixteen back home
in Ikedan legend the Fissure Kento, or the Wounded Kento, is the last in a long line charged with keeping the walrus satisfied
CANYON Kento
fissure, I hardly know 'er
FISSURE Kento
RIP Kento
the last sentence Kento ever said was "I like buttsex"
the first sentence Kento ever said was "I like buttsex"
a Studio Ghibli slash Jurassic Park crossover sequel, Isla Nublar Totoro
the first sentence Caroline ever said was "I like butter"
a male duck stole a potted herb for a conversational companion but after many hours of trying could elicit no response, it was the thyme of no reply
spending ten minutes chasing down a Kento hole that was actually an anuseportal you forgot about
spending ten minutes chasing down a BSP hole that was actually an antiportal you forgot about
Melissa Villasenor stars in this fall's hit new comedy, Basterisktch, Don't Touch That! only on NBC
wondering how frequently the Pope or the Dalai Lama or people like that jack off
fuck marry kill, Angela Lansbury, Julie Andrews, Betty White
He was subjected to sadistic ragging and in the postmortem a large quantity of tooth paste was found in his rectum
Cast are given the option of rejecting the first two sitcom offers but must accept the third offer, with the sitcom contract length dictated by NBC and potentially lasting up to six years
it had some good ideas, but yeah pretty much
Babylon V is a big pile of shit
Fozzbox
Bononoromo
longoogo
drawing a picture of David Tomlinson unloading anything but anything for Angela Lansbury at the bar in UKAI
anything but anything a chap can unload
my mother was right about you
you never take me anywhere nice
it's not a very nice restaurant if that's what you're worried about
I thought you were only interested in watching me jack off, and I'm certainly not going to do that in a restaurant
there's a nice place down the street from me that makes a great lonkon pork if you fancy a Chinese
Lonkon Pork
Korn
Sogor Roo
Smosh Mooth
Tho Spoco Gorls
Somon ond Gorfonkol
Hoort
Chocogo, do Boors
Omoroco
Lod Zoppolon
Tho Grootfol Dood
Tho Bootlos
Tho Poloco
Blor
Oosos
Rodoohood
Coldploo
going down on Julie Andrews and Raul Julia down by the schoolyard
Qooon
Potshop Boos Geldof
J Gools Bond
Mongo Jorro
Potshop Boos
Doxo's Modnoght Ronnors
such pretty flowers
Whom!
Stong
Gonosos
going down on Julie and Julia down by the schoolyard
Potor Gobrool
tracking down a render killing actor in a map nobody but you will ever see for a game nobody has played in a decade, by a laborious process of elimination and testing, zone by zone and class by class
Phol Collons
going down on Julio down by the schoolyard
bottoming for Schlong Lloyd Wright in Hillside Homo School II
sooooooo long, so long
asking Paul Simon if Frank Lloyd Wright was just long, or girthy too
Dr Phil with no dialogue, just reactions
taxiderming a Chinese
fancying a Chinese
Man accused of abducting Chinese grad student had visited kidnap fetish website, feds say
vegaxi
vegan taxidermy
turning off Entrapment after ten minutes because it's OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit
turns out I was just a hipster
basically
several more years to realise that you have a drink problem
once buying a bottle of absinthe as a last minute gift for someone then deciding you'd rather drink it yourself, but inexplicably taking several more years to realise that you have a drink problem
lending your bees to a hipster beekeeper
beekeeping is kind of vegan in that the bees are producing more honey than the colony requires and by taking the surplus you only prevent the formation of superswarms which would first become nuisance infestations, then starve each other's colonies out
honestly never realizing that taxidermy was a hipster thing, and being unable to stop giggling imagining a bunch of guys in Buddy Holly glasses, trucker hats, and super tight t shirts stitching up a dead moose while sipping absinthe
fuck marry kill, Phil Collins, Phuller Collins, Philled Collins
wondering what the vegan beekeepers are thinking
having tried veganism, specialty coffee, and beekeeping, and reckoning to be about fifty six % hipster, which explains the hipster briefs
Other hipster trends in the twenty tens have included knitting, veganism, urban beekeeping, specialty coffee, taxidermy, fedoras, and printing and bookbinding classes
cholos
the death of Goro Shondlong
hocktovosm
Kim sith vac
hacktivism
My use of social media is not Presidential
fuck marry kill, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Philter Colbriel
ogre disco
disgorging the hole
engorging the goal
moving the goalposts
being passed around by a whole team of shamblers, Kento
A shambler's body has an eight foot girth and is about six feet tall when the creature stands erect
being texted by a Garry Shambling Mound
being slain by a Garry Shambling Mound
my heart going boourns boourns boourns
my heart going slap slap slapping
Dumb and Dumber Movie Trailer Recut Inception Style Thriller
Mrs Doubtfire recut as a horror movie
my heart going boom boom boom
I just had to trust imagination
I did not believe the information
Huey Tzompantli
if I had it all again I'd change it all
doing everything, if you know what I meat
wondering what the criteria one uses to judge one's success as a huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth are
that's supposed to end in t
doing everything, if you know what I mea
that the kind of messed up goth kid you expected to fail in life appears to be a fairly successful huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth
doing everyone
doing everything
doing nothing
that the kind of messed up goth kid you expected to fail in life appears to be a fairly successful goth DJ and vegan mafia don
having a kind of horrible feeling that Analhite's friend, who you always thought was pretty, smart, and pretty smart, went to prison for her involvement in a murder after wasting her life basically doing nothing
don't I wish my hopping were hot like me
don't I wish I never done no hopping down in Kento
don't I wish I never done no hopping down in Kent
facebook is such a shit filled rabbit hole of nightmares
not remembering the names of people you were at school with, like at all
BEGSY MODE
my bog seed
bees, my god
BALLPOWER SOLUTIONS LIMITED
tricking a pony into circumcising another pony
Should Sailors See Men
Should Sailors Get Circumcised
Should Sailors Blow Ponies
Should Sailors Fuck Ass
Should Sailors Kiss
Should Sailors Thrill
Should Sailors Hold
Should Sailors Fuck
Should Sailors Kill
all the people not in a relationship banging Jewel's boobs fucking ass
Should Sailors Marry
all the people not in a relationship banging Jewel's boobs
all the people with big bellies banging bigger drums
We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a twenty year ride, so that once they get to Mars, they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony
wailing jizz for a live audience
Poy Blowig, Mos Eisley jizz wailer
regrets about poy blowig
probably from blowing all those ponies
having a sticky n key, apparently
we didn't Eiffel Tower
JFK blow away what else do I have to say
John Fitzgerald Kento
jacking Kento
Jackie Kento
that Jackie O, what a pony blowing ass
Troll's Penis to be reerected in Norway
kid of loving Gene Hunt, that fox fucking ass
that Ace Koji, what a fox fucking ass
that Jackie O, what a fox fucking ass
that Jackie O, what a fox
fucking ass
finally getting "Nero Burning ROM" after so many years
fuck ass, kill grass, marry gas
fuck marry kill, gas, grass, ass
gas, grass, or ass, Hayden Christensen
Darth Pass
Darth Puff
"Jurassic Park" but the dinosaurs are from the nineties TV show "Dinosaurs"
Ken Dodd
p diddy
homosexual father
puff daddy
puff dogs
making spaghetti naked
True to his word, Lombardi told running back coach, George Dickson, "I want you to get on McDonald and work on him and work on him, and if I hear one of you people make reference to his manhood, you'll be out of here before your ass hits the ground"
While Green Bay Packers head coach Vince Lombardi was known to treat his players roughly in practices and during games, he insisted on unconditional respect for gay players and front office staff
meeting Brian Gippers
doing it with the Gipper
I'm a man who goes out into the streets without knowing whether I'll return home
anthyding can hadplen
just wanting some delicious yellow bread
not so much umber as charcoal, despite following the recipe to the letter and knowing your oven was the temperature it was supposed to be
bottoming for Peppermint Patootie in Poopermint Potty VII
being a peppermint Patty
This man had the chip from his travel card implanted under his skin
doing it for the Gipper
being an HIV positive Ronnie
being a positive Ronnie
being a negative Nancy
a fetishistic ode to mayhem
Ruiz held up the book, described by County Attorney James Brue as a hardcover encyclopedia, and Perez pulled the trigger on a fifty caliber Desert Eagle pistol, trying to see whether the bullet would go through
the Ikedas are going to Cambodia!
Creative Man Make Deep Hole with PVC Pipe to Catch Big Crabs near my Village in Cambodia
building a secret cruel anal labrotory with an entrance in the rear
building a secret underground labrotory with an entrance in your shower
Creative Man Make Water Plastic Pipe for Catch a lot of Fish on the Rice Field near my Village
bleeding through a tourniquet smile
Generation VIII to introduce Faeces type Pokemon, cheerio
faeces and aerses
Ice from three of the UK's biggest coffee chains has been found to contain bacteria from faeces, according to a BBC investigation
TV pickup
NO! Sushi
having never been to YO! Sushi and no desire to go
hey, I myself have fancied a Mexican on more than one occasion, so who am I to judge
post colonial foodies
it's a lot more complicated since Indian independence
it's short for "Chinese takeaway"
I suppose if you were an Indian guy you could use "fancy an Indian question mark" as a chat up line, so maybe it's not all bad
in our defence, we have been using a charming latin abbreviation of "this for that" for our money for at least four hundred years
that's really bizarre and I think at least a little racist
I believe that those are the only cuisines referred to this way
Indian may be substituted if Indian food is desired
we will also ask "fancy a Chinese"
it's true
hearing a discussion about how British people will apparently express the idea "I want some Chinese food" with "I want a Chinese" and wondering if that is true
going to a donkey show in Hong Kong with Donkey Kong and William Hung
Despite Olive Garden's advertising that it has a cooking institute in Tuscany, news outlets have reported that, in fact, there is no institute or school
YO! Sushi
the Great Sparrow Campaign
the Anti Corn Law League
Generation VIII to introduce Excrement type Pokemon
fifteen reported that they were forced to eat pasta with grass and excrement
the player who walked in on two long rods
the player who walked in on two creepers
un pain dans le cul
being b b bread, bread to the bone
making brioche and not even knowing why, like you don't particularly want some, you don't have any pressing need in the near future, you've got a lot of bread in already, it's a pain in the ass to make and the recipe you found makes it come out umber
Eiffel Towering delayed due to elderly man throwing coins into Kento for good fuck
Flight delayed due to elderly lady throwing coins into engine for good luck
The House Always Wins By Evil Robots
Peeps Poop CCLV Peeps in P Minutes, Solve for X
Man Poops CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
filthy France wig
watching Firefly
Man Eats CCLV Poops in V Minutes
getting lots of abuse from Motsi Mabuse
bottoming for human resources in HR Poopinstuff VII
those at least have representation of minorities going for them
movies in the dead trannie hooker genre, generally
movies in the dead hooker genre, generally
that honestly fucking anybody with David Carradine involved just sounds like the start of some crappy movie about disposing of dead hookers
the old man and the wide dong sea
the wide dong sea
sending a letter on my dong sea mural
sending a letter on a long summer day
posters in the amazing Regret Index may be older than they appear
try the mid nineties
fuck marry kill, Brian Peppers in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, Sylvia Browne in the bathroom at church, a Tim Burton heroine in the early aughts
fuck marry kill, Gabrielle Glaister in Blackadder, Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare In Love, Rhiana Griffith in Pitch Black
fuck marry kill, Tom Hanks in Bosom Buddies, Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game, Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire
Man Peeps CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
Canada to apologise for 'LGBT purge' of military during Cold War, no homo, eh
the stars are out, there's mischief in the breeze
you had me at "Canada to apologise", eh
Canada to apologise for 'LGBT purge' of military during Cold War
fuck marry kill, Jai Courtney, Jay Kay, J Edgar Hoover
fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox's head on Jai Courtney's body, Jai Courtney's head on Courteney Cox's body, Courteney Cox except she has Jai Courtney's cock
fuck marry kill, Anne Boleyn, Mary Boleyn, Anne of Cleves
fuck marry kill, a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft, a Celtic homosexual with Mary, Queen of Scots, a guy named "Bill Choker" with David Carradine
fucking a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft
minimalist, but also complex, emotionally raw, but still able to push the boundaries of what music can be
Jai Courtney, Hogwarts squash champion
Rowntrees Condoms, Hogwarts sex ed teacher
the death of Rowntrees Condoms so Jai Courtney would get famous
Rowntrees Condoms
wondering who had to die so Jai Courtney would get famous
I doubt that Joaquin Phoenix would have become famous if River Phoenix hadn't died, it's the Ted Kennedy Effect
imagining all the awful movies Joaquin Phoenix and River Phoenix could have made together
drawing a picture of Johnny Depp playing Samwise Gamgee like a slide whistle
that there is apparently a parallel universe where Johnny Depp never gave River Phoenix the drugs that killed him and he went on to play Samwise Gamgee
The Guardian suggested in two thousand three "it was likely that Phoenix would have followed Interview with the Vampire by appearing as Susan Sarandon's son in Safe Passage", a role that went to Sean Astin
mishearing Amber Disassemble
both, he's a very violent man
wondering whether Johnny Depp is kicking Jonathan Frakes's nuts or Patrick Stewart's
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Johnny Depp kicks him in the nuts
taking the most violent Number II
disassembling Amber Heard
Number II is a violent dude
reversing the exciton polarteats
exciton polarteats
He was birthed John Christopher Depp II in Owensboro, Kentucky, on June ninth, nineteen sixty three, to Beep Boop, who functioned as a waitress and performed hand jobs when a quarter was inserted, and also John Christopher Depp, a civil engineer
bottoming for Bill Cosby in Deep Cosby XX XX
He was birthed John Christopher Depp II in Owensboro, Kentucky, on June ninth, nineteen sixty three, to Betty Sue, who functioned as a waitress, and also John Christopher Depp, a civil engineer
Depp Cosby Twenty Twenty
OMG! Look What Johnny Depp Has Done Now
wondering whatever happened to that whole thing where Johnny Depp brutally beat the shit out of his wife, like did we just decide he was too beloved and too much of a box office draw for us to care
shrek making love to a mermaid
It is the first installment in the Has Fallen franchise
the death of DIANE Burger
It also could be someone sitting on their bed that costs four hundred pounds, cheerio
It also could be someone pissing on my bed that weighs four hundred pounds
I don't understand why the Republican President would admit to hacking the DNC like that
It also could be someone sitting on their bed that weighs four hundred pounds
wondering how YOUR flight went
wondering how your flight went
I'm about to lose control and I think I likon
I just can't hiton
they're so exciton
exciton polaritons
exciton polatirtons
White Olympus House Has Fallen Down
eat her being goth
be her eating goth
the Big Orange
the death of Grace Curb Beer
the death of Rebecca Hotkid
the death of Rebecca Hotdog
the death of Rebecca Burger
'Cat Fart Fusion' to Get Reboot Focusing on the Heroes' Dogs
sucking Tim Burton for heroin
'Fantastic Four' to Get Reboot Focusing on the Heroes' Dogs
wondering if we will eventually reach a point where superhero franchises are actually rebooted midfilm
'Fantastic Four' to Get Reboot Focusing on the Heroes' Kids
bottoming for Peter Warlock in The Sackbut VII
Peter Warlock, who authored a book about Carlo Gesualdo, one of the most interesting composers of his day
spiders pouring scorn
Dick Warlock
Lowmoan Spectacular
Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire
MMVI Peeps in V Masks
sucking a Tim Burton heroine's left one until she had a breastgasm in the bathroom at church
Man Enables DHCP Without "Paying" in V Minutes
Man Eats VMMCXL Calories in V Minutes
having a Peep tearing your groin
Man Eats CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
having a Phoebe tearing your groin
having a phobia of tearing your groin as an adult
sous vide your groin
searing your groin
timing your gimli
tealing your gloin
it's tearin' up my groin when I'm with you, but when we are apart, I feel it too, and no matter what I do, I feel the pain with or without you
tearing your groin
Bill Cosby's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Roman Polanski's Little Women
filling out forms
filling out nicely
Vice Versa Trouble in Little Women
Big Trouble in Little Women
trying to imagine the reaction to John Carpenter's Big Trouble in Little China being released for the first time in the internet age
Beardevil II Colon Husky Past It Action Heroes
Ben Affleck rapes Leonardo DiCaprio blind and they both get superpowers and go on a magical journey together
a crossover sequel to Daredevil and The Revenant, Beardevil
Kento's tristate area
wondering what they put in the Norwegian olive oil
His Imperial and Royal Highness Stefan Cernetic, Hereditary Prince of Montenegro, Serbia and Albania
Kento's bikini area
wondering what they put in the nonvegan Olovo Ool
Boong John Molkovoch
Horold Hordrodo
Harald Hardrada
The Australian Penis Abyss is a penis trove of strange, often penis shaped penises
Harold Hamgravy
wondering what they put in the nonvegan Olive Oyl
being the very model of a modern John Malkovich
The Australian Eastern Abyss is a treasure trove of strange, often penis shaped animals
Johns Malkovich University
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by an infinite number of John Malkoviches and an infinite number of turtles
Project Horizon
La goualante du pauvre Jean
displeased that Paris had refused to teach him mime, Nero had him put to death
being sunk by two dwarfs in Paris
Her Majesty the Queen sharing her Queen collection with the queens in Queens
Being John Sandwich
drawing a picture of John Malkovich being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself being Eiffel Towered by himself
drawing a picture of John Malkovich being Eiffel Towered by himself and a turtle
Malkoviches all the way down
Being a Guy Being John Malkovich
wondering if anyone has pitched a sequel to Being John Malkovich which includes a scene where somebody gets to be John Malkovich watching the original Being John Malkovich
wondering what they put in the nonvegan olive oil
vegan olive oil
making way for the future, Daniel Clamp style
mustang margarine
beaver butter
watching Being John Malkovich eating John Malkovich
watching Inside Llewyn Davis inside Llewyn Davis
watching In Jackson Heights in Jackson Heights
my dickgirl likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time
A spokesman for the actor maintained Murphy was just being a "good Samaritan" by offering the transsexual a ride
a man who consorts with prostitutes, and does this over and over again throughout his married life, has, according to man made law, been acting only in accordance with human nature, and nobody can punish him for that, except the Steak n Shake manager
a man who consorts with prostitutes, and does this over and over again throughout his married life, has, according to man made law, been acting only in accordance with human nature, and nobody can punish him for that
being slain by twin long Ebonblade Reapers #two
cooking two thicknesses of spaghetti in the same pot, if you know what I mean
Whenever Ebonblade Reaper attacks, you lose half your life, rounded up
unwillingly bottoming for Bill Cosby in Hung Jury VII
cooking two thicknesses of spaghetti in the same pot
Democratic Unionist Party's Sinn Fein says he will oppose any deal with UK Prime Minister Theresa May that undermines a MCMXCVIII peace deal
having a phobia of baby driving as an infant
having a four beers driving as a me, Mario
having a four beers driving as an adult
I guess there was that time you got stopped in the Midtown Tunnel
having a phobia of driving as an adult
the death of Fran Gerard
Hodor
spoon arm hode behind, Kim Jong il's big fat ass, Jewel's boobs, Myke Hawke
Let's pad ourselves thickly with Kim Jong il's big fat ass!
Let's arm ourselves strongly with Kim Jong il's patriotism!
fuck marry kill LaVar Ball, Lucille Ball, Ed Balls
Shend
that's a dirty lie, I've never even seen a Steak n Shake
you know it
he could be doing a lot of Steak n Shake dumpster work
he could be doing a lot of stage door work
he could be doing a lot of stage work
the death of Jonathan Avildsen's career
don't die
gonna die now
fuck marry kill, only weirdly cropped, pitchbent Family Guy clips in your YouTube suggestions forever no matter what you do, blowing a guy but he jizzes diamonds & you get to keep the diamonds, spooning Jewel's boobs but also having to spoon Rob Schneider
Higher prices squeezing both rentboys and would be homos
Higher prices squeezing both renters and would be homeowners
the death of John G Avildsen
The Connecticut State Police said Torn broke into the bank thinking it was his home
wondering whether you would rather have my penis removed entirely but have to keep it or have pain every time I get an erection
wondering whether you would rather have my penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time I get an erection
homo nerds
drop bottoms
US homeownership drop seen bottoming
the slight bitterness of raped Blossom
the slight bitterness of rape blossoms
not like excruciating pain, just like maybe a bad headache
wondering whether you would rather have your penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time you get an erection
wanting to hear Elton John and Kiki Dee's cover of ASTERISKNSYNC's "Tearin' Up My Heart", "Don't Go Tearin' Up My Heart"
fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Bear Grylls, James Wesley, Rawles
wanting to hear Myke Hawke cover ASTERISKNSYNC's "Tearin' Up My Heart" as "Tearin' Up Myke Hawke"
The Woosell cocke, so blacke of hew, With Orenge tawny bill
bottoming and topping for Bryan Adams in The Summer of Sixty Nine VII
damaging the headlight of Jackson C Frank's Porsche by standing on it when you were a kid
he was only nine years old so I doubt he caused much damage
wondering whether Bryan Adams usually stands on other people's sports cars
seriously wondering whether Bryan Adams knows how to pronounce 'Porsche'
wondering if Bryan Adams' girlfriend slash wife's parents were living at the drive in, or if their porch was just in close proximity back in the summer of soixante neuf
telling me what you're feelin, I'll feel it with you
Kit Harington has spoken of the bizarre moment that he met Ed Sheeran for the first time when the pair urinated next to each other
Jupiter now has sixty nine ass scents
I did not burn to death
Jupiter now has sixty nine moons
hoping you would check in to confirm you didn't burn to death
hoo hoo here she comes, watch out boy she'll peck you up, hoo hoo here she comes, she's a swaneater
swanbeer
manbeer
when she walks she walks with passion
watch out boy, she'll chew you up
Miles O'Brien's subspace messages
the goddamn deliberately disabled ponies Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "blowing" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink
Pat O'Brien's voicemails
sprinking the hugest left one
regrets about chocolate chip sprinking
burly armed Dame Blurry, rarely dumb, rumbled Ray
Dame Blurry
murderably
lumberyard
somehow I have turned away from the light of truth
and lions fucking tigers, of course
not knowing what you did to deserve it but your YouTube suggestions have entirely become Everything Wrong With and Family Guy but none of them are Everything Wrong With Family Guy
We represent the Toronto public, Toronto public, Toronto public, and in the name of the Toronto public, we wish to SHOP, we wish to SHOP, tra la la la la la la
We are the toronto public! We want to SHOP!
Using algebraic topology in a way that it has never been used before in a bar, Dr Sam Rebecca stepped into the Quantum Date Accelerator and vanished before he could marry Diane
Using algebraic topology in a way that it has never been used before in neuroscience, a team from the Rape Injector Bulb has uncovered a universe of multi dimensional geometrical structures and spaces within the networks of the brain
bottoming for dickgirl Ariel Winter in Modern Buddy Teats VII
cardboard booty syndrome
dead Buttadeus syndrome
modern Buttadeus
getting SLIGHTLY crapped on
POSTMODERN buddy teats
getting totally crapped on
Using algebraic topology in a way that it has never been used before in neuroscience, a team from the Blue Brain Project has uncovered a universe of multi dimensional geometrical structures and spaces within the networks of the brain
modern buddy teats
dead butt syndrome
Loving v Virginia
the international fun boy three space station
the international fun boy
Xbonx
Xbox One X
Pokemon Strong and Stable
I thought you liked Natalie Portman
She's a terrible actor mouthing a script in which there is no plot and no credible ending that is not an anti climax
calling your tummy fat and being surprised when it announced that it was going to stay with its mother for the time being
Marie Curie eating curried mercury
eating so much curry on a day when your tummy was already upset
drinking Kia Night nightley with Kiora Nightly orally
drinking Kiera nightley with Kia Ora Knightly
I didn't read to the end, it didn't seem important at that time
google said Keira
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightly
apparentley
getting spell good lessons from Kia Ora Knightley apparently
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Keira Knightley
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Keira Knightly
Kentodeus
Butthurtdeus
Butterdeus
the death of Meatwads
the death of Data's Mew
Ricki Lake's wikileaks
the death of Adam West
low speed collisions
Hooker's green
laundering money in a dishwasher safe
Buttadeus
An energetic beastman girl, Nikki talks and acts before she thinks
Muppy Oktavia Wonderchak VIII
Milo, the virtual boy
Tattermunge Maniac attacks each turn if able
Stacey's got herself a mom and I wanna make her mine
the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you
Reports that a man was rushed to the hospital after getting a fidget spinner lodged in his anus are false
James Earl Jones' cojones inflaming irl
you know the nearer your destination the more you're slap slappin' away
bottoming for James Girl Bones in Cry, the Beloved Cuntrape
shaming girl's bones with James Earl Jones
you can almost hear time slap slap slappin' away
you can almost hear time slippin' away
Mr Jones and a walrus, Eiffel Towering Kento
deleted rift holes
the riddle of steel
John Kreese saved Silver's life several Ashley's her saving times in Vietnam, and the Cobra Kai dojo was given to Kreese as a gift of gratitude and friendship is she right protect to her and mike branes Ashley's leader is she called boss in
wondering if the extensive biography of Terry Silver on The Karate Kid Wiki came from the novelization or some other canon source, or if it's basically just fanfiction
will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe
wishing Henry II would stop posting racist memes on facebook
wishing Henry II would stop tweeting
I Eat a Picture of Jason Alexander Everyday Until He Eats A Picture of Me
Rue "Dirty Bird" Quest
Berry Disquiet Rut
gricers
Diet Ruby Red Squirt
I Eat a Picture of Jason Segel Everyday Until He Eats A Picture of Me
walnuts in RASPBERRY BERET
walnuts in cream
being arrested for sapiosexuality in the sample store of the neurology lab at Harvard Medical School
being sapiosexual
Demand for elephant skin, trunk and penis drives rapid rise in poaching in Myanmar
it's not gay if you're a dickgirl
The Gettysturd Address
A Kalispell man wanted advice on what to do if your spouse is pawning all your stuff at Ke$ha'$ junk $hop
to avoid constipation, she never crapped the same address
to avoid complications, she never kept the semen dress
Ke$ha'$ junk $hop
Boys tried to touch my junk, junk
ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here and now the dudes are lining up
wondering why female manatees aren't called womanatees
we all need somebody to ream on
entrire
the entrire TiK ToK music video but every time Ke$ha ToKs about something that only an alcoholic hooker would do it cuts to Barry B Benson shaking his head in disdain
to avoid complications, she never kept the same address
throo dodo$ $tono cold chollon' on Ko$ho
three dudes stone cold chillin' in Ke$ha
"I don't know who that wa$," he admitted, but upon learning her identity $aid, "I wi$h her the be$t"
"I don't know who that was," he admitted, but upon learning her identity said, "I wish her the best"
A loner, Barry has vivid daydreams about being Chuck Norris' sidekick, battling against Norris's movie enemies, who are often personified by Barry's everyday bullies such as Randy Cellini
throo dodos stono cold chollon' on o hot tob
three dudes stone cold chillin' in a hot tub
What Happens If You Put Firecracker in a Safe
the sea cows hear Data
telling people you love dogs on the Isle of Dogs
A Kalispell man wanted advice on what to do if your spouse is pawning all your stuff
A Kalispell cat was living dangerously by going into the neighbor's yard after the neighbor announced he would shoot it if it trespassed again
Barking, London
the sea hates a coward
taking the voight maru test
Black Napoleon the Professional Dynamite
Van Eragonsing, omfg what a piece of utter ass shit
Blacula Swan Down
The Training Day After Tomorrowland Before Time
Ferris Bueller's Night at the School of Rock
The Last Temptation of Christmas Vacation
Dumb vs Dumber
National Lampoon's Treasure of the Sierra Madre
tig welding a hell of a gong
Krakatoa, West Side Story
Troy Story
Doubtfire vs Doubtfire
After Spice World
Darth Wristo
The Biodome in the Woods
Manbird on a Wire
wondering what darth name Kit Fisto would have taken if he had fallen to the dark side
A Nightmare at the Roxbury
Pokemon American Beauty and the Beast of Yucca Flats
shaving a hell of a dong
having a hell of a STIG
having a hell of a dump
Children of Deliverance
guessing black guys had to pee there
black guy pees
guessing you had to be there
having a hell of a dream
American Pi
Dirty Dances With Wolves
Beavis and Butt Head Do Dallas
American Beauty and the Beast of Yucca Flats
Batman & Robin & Liz & Dick
Three Lion King Amigos and a Babe in Toyland
Three Lion King Amigos
Three Lion Kings
The Return of the Last King of Scotland
The Last Lion Fisher King of Scotland's Speech
The Dallas Breakfast Club
American History xXx State of the Nation
Twelve Angry Men and a Slumdog Million Dollar Baby Genius II Electric Pig in the City of Angels for a Few Dollars More
Moon Colon Dark of the Moon
Slumdog Boss Baby
Million Dollar Baby Geniuses
Home Alone in the Dark
Little Miss Mermaid
Cats and Dogs Colon Prince of Persians
The Fisher King and I
Porky's II Colon Pig in the City
Donnie Darko's Day Off
The Mummy of Oz
Les Incredibles
Tanglish
Chocolat Milk
Moana and Her Sisters
The Alien Falcon
Kiss Kiss Rain Man
Johnny Got Jane A Gun
Gangs of Nebraska
Annie Got Fingered
The Last Mystic Pizza Of Christ
No Country for Grumpy Old Men
Things We Lost in the African Queen
A Mystic River Runs Throught It
Goonies State
Alice Doesn't Live in Wonderland Anymore
Stop! Or Mamma Mia Will Shoot
Manhunt On Wire
The Cook, the Thief, W & United XCIII
How Green Was My Left Foot
The Wild Wild West Side Story
The Full Pianist
Frozen slash Nixon
Midnight Space Cowboy
The Independence Day After Tomorrow
Panic Room of Lost Children
The Gangs of Others
Guardians of the Gravity
Fantastic Four and Where to Find Them
Interhobbit
The Girl on the Polar Express
Frozen Frozen West
Thor of the Planet of the Apes
Rambo's List
The Iron Man in the Iron Man Mask
The Man Without a Face in the Iron Mask Who Knew Too Much
Shrekspotting
The Godfather, Part II Colon The Secret of the Ooze
Zoobusters
When Beethoven Met Marmaduke
The Garfield Identity
The Curious Case of Paul Blart
Interview With The Transformers
Catch Me If You Caligula
Rob Schneider is The Revenant
What's Eating Raoul Grape
Duece Brockovich, Wrath of God
Gremlins II Colon European Gigolo
The Running Royale Games
Bedknobs and Frank
Batman vs Mary Poppins Colon Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea
Small Universal Soldier
The Hunt for Yellow Submarine
Days of Thunder and Roses
the year we graduated i bet my brother that he wouldn't drink a pint of Bovril, but he did and i would imagine that is a similar experience to drinking a glass of pee
that would depend on the size of the glass and the concentration of the pee
wondering how much money it would take to get you to drink a whole glass of your own pee
Ali, Vampire Hunter
ET the Crystal Skull
Saving Private Babe
The Crying Fugitive
Ghostfellas
Raging Elephant Man
Erin Brockovich Screwed My Dog Skip
Silver Shining Playbook
Seabiscuit In The Bedroom
American Tinker American Tailor American Soldier American Pie
The Sniper of Wall Street
Django Buyers Club
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Temple of Doom
Tyler Perry's Diary of a Wimpy Black Kid
Life Is Chocolat
Shakespeare In The Cider House
The Dances of the Wolves
Little Miss Deer Hunter
The Muppets Take Pelham One Two Three
Raiders of the Last Samurai
Remember the Clash of the Titans
Lethal Blonde II Colon Red White and Blonde
Die Harder, Die Longer and Die Uncutter
Breakinback Mountain II Colon Electric Boogaloo
Casablackfish
The Devil's Advocate Wears Prada
JFKtv
The Jackie Show
Fear and Loathing in the Time of Cholera
Black Swan FILOPLUME
Blade Runnings
Things To Do In Denver When You're John Malkovich
From Dumb Til Dumber
Despicable Irene
In Her Minions
The Vagina Suicides
District Nine From Outer Space
Black Swan Down
The Hurt Focker
Forrest Hulk
Saving My Own Private Idaho
Pulp Flashdance
Twelve Angry Monkeys
Lady in the Waterboy
Reservoir Dog Millionaire
Twenty Eight Dresses Later
The Grapes of Warcraft
Muriel's Four Weddings and a Funeral
Garfield Colon Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
The Good & The Bad & The Ugly & Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
lOl Reasons Why I Hate Dalmatians
The Quick and the Tramp
Peter Pan's Labyrinth
Aristocrats Colon Age of Ultron
A Nightmare on Thirty Fourth Street
Dr Magorium's Wonder Imaginarium
The Inglourious Apprentice
Bill & Ted's Wife & Her Lover
Reservoir Time Machine
How The Grinch Got Married
The Fifth Sense
Six Days, and Two Smoking Barrels
What's New Terminator
Godzilla vs Titanic
Schindler's F I S T
The Human Centipede Wore Tennis Shoes
The Witches of Witch Mountain
Escape from Eastwick
Driving Miss Daisy with a Vengeance
leaning into poo with Lani Tupu
Man of Magnolias
Gunfight at the Whistle Stop Cafe
Showtease
Stripgirls
Snatch Adams
Jurassic Shark
Star Treks Episode II Colon The Wrath of Ki Adi Mundi
The Spy Who Got Fingered
Top Instinct
Basic Gun
Apocalypse After Tomorrow
Sex and the Simpsons
Lawrence of Arabia vs Predator
Pirates of the Covfefe
featuring pirates
a series of crossover sequels starring Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson in the style of the Bing Crosby and Bob Hope Road To movies, starting with Lost In The Caribbean
Alien vs The Muppets
a crossover sequel to Dennis the Menace and The Phantom, The Dennis
Animal Swan
Weekend At Tiffany's
the menopause is a natural and beautiful thing
Don't put dried up wasp's nest in your vagina
bustin' makes me feel good, YIPPEEEE!
a crossover sequel to American Pie and My Blueberry Nights, My Blueberry Pie, starring Jude Law as Jude Law, the faintly sinister and insincere figure who force feeds a blueberry pie to itself, then fucks it
Thoroughly Modern Millie vs Predator
a crossover sequel The Phantom Menace and Ghostbusters, the Menace Busters
Tai Chi Master Uses Penis to Pull Helicopter, Breaks Penis
Tai Chi Master Uses Penis to Pull Helicopter, Breaks 'World Record'
oddtuckofyuckeh dot ca
never really noticed that campus
fuckedhotday dot co dot uk
it's a beautiful campus
duckoftheday dot co dot uk
Malaga bishop faces off against Space Invader artist over flamenco dancer
the way your brain fills in details with what is plainly garbage when you dream about reality
Nigel Farage named as 'person of interest' in FBI investigation into links between Russia and Trump campaign
Stabby, Your Lamb
Stand by Your Lamb
a crossover sequel to Stand By Me and The Silence of the Lambs, Silently Stabbed By Me
Elzar is not pompous and needs to knock it up a notch, BAM!
Willy wonka is pompous and needs to take it down a notch
Not having anyone to send a sexy bachman turner overdrive to even though you feel capable of takin' care of business for the first time in your sad life
All The President's Covfefe
The President and a small group know exactly what he meant
Staying Alive While Running a High Flashdance Fever
Highwaymen seem to have extra legal powers that occasionally cause conflict with the local police
Tim Russ in the The Highwayman intro
Wild Colonial Psychos Colon Bandits on the Run
negative press covfefe
digitus impudicus
Everything Wrong With Jumper In Seventeen Teen Choice Awards Or Less
KNOWING when SeaLION is going to release the remaining FOUR OPERAS of the FRENCH Kiss from a PLATINUM WOMAN PENTALOGY
Thrill from a Blanche
wondering when Seal is going to release the remaining three songs of the Kiss from a Golden Girl tetrology
Theedgetheedge
Jaloomper
a crossover sequel to Looper and Jumper where Joe and David drive around in a time travel teleport jalopy solving crimes they committed
Pokemon Jean Loup Wolfman and Horse Wolf Blitzer
very sad
Sebacean heat delirium
I heat up, I can't cool down
A dying man was hit over the head with a pan and a video of it was put on Instagram, an inquest has heard
Assemblee nationale adopte Kento etant Eiffel Dominee par Chris Lydon et morses comme symbole national de la France
outlawing jive talking just to shut the Bee Gees up
flying Brutush Ourwoys, chaarue
Jean Loup Wolfman says he tried to calm down the dancers after they started threatening an elderly couple at the Union Square subway station on Monday
Kento's landing strip
Bonobono
flying British Airways, cheerio
French president calls on Putin to protect fat gay Chechens
French president calls on Putin to protect gay Chechens
Myke Hawke knows a little something about hardness AND video production
not being scientifically minded or knowledgeable enough to run a Moh Hardness, Moh Problems YouTube channel
I think it was in the mid twenty thousands
when did we get like this
Huahua will leak and limp for a week!
Huahua is sexually injured and incontinent! Her father suffers!
Look at Huahua's smile on this photo! She is laughing at her dad's tiny broken penis! She knows a real man is waiting to punish her vagina!
Huahua's dad totally got cucked
Huahua is a real adult on this picture and she needs a real man who makes her happy!
How cute is the little Huahua on this picture! She is just simply loveable and looks totally healthy!
Panto
Anto
Kentus
inside of Kento's anus it's too dark to read
a moon piss, eh
smelling burnt toast, for real this time
Mangamoord
the Dark Triad
homo sapiens
Gregg Allman dies during all man sixty nine
Gregg Allman dies at sixty nine
Sandy Poodoo, Mos Espa market trader
Sebulba Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker's dug Sebulba joined Instagram
I can't reasonably expect you to remember all of their names
a midwest only combination of Marts both K and Wal
Audrey Hepburn's fawn Pippin Hepburn joined Instagram
guessing that Ben Jacobs should probably stay as far away as possible from the Knox County mayoral election
suplexing Ron Paul
Lawless homo and the Homo is not executed because the sly slither
an American professional wrestler, insurance broker, politician and actor
The Conquest of Brute with the first finding of the Bath
titillating an ocelot
Canaan Bananarama
fuck marry kill, Goodluck Jonathan, Canaan Banana, Tokyo Sexwale
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by two Tokyo Sexwales isn't it, desu ne
Horniman & Sexwale, attorneys at law
Pokemon Horniman Walrus and Tokyo Sexwale
Horniman Walrus
Pokemon Cocks and Rocks
correctly reading "cocks" as "cocks" and thinking yeah, that's Kento alright
misreading "cocks" as "rocks" and thinking yeah, that's Kento alright
National Economic Council Director Gary Cohn on Friday clarified President Trump's recent remark that "the Germans are bad, very bad"
just kidding, he only likes cocks
Kento's bisexual symmetry
Kento's bilateral symmetry
Irregularia
that Spock's ship from Star Trek Colon Two Colon Thousand Nine was named "Jellyfish," that is stupid as fuck and hilarious
injecting the red matter
Ryanyanrama
whether or not red mercury actually existed was irrelevant to the prosecution
thinking it's probably a blessing that nobody has to hear you say "Gott im himmel! Choco Liebniz!" literally every time you see a packet, and subsequently leave you
bottoming for Bruce Willis in Old Man Action VII
watching Red and then the sequel and thinking maybe you're missing something through not having seen any of the Expendables movies, like maybe it's a parody, but being pretty sure Old Man Action Movies is supposed to be a subgenre now
gin teat vids manager Ryan North
Ryan Polanski
Ryan North managed virgin teats
advertising magnate Ryan North
if the parents of Seth Rich took out a tire iron and beat the living shit out of Sean Hannity for his repulsive lies
it's like they're blocked
you know I don't get any pussies
Mary Poppins with supreme nasal meatus
I just assumed that it's google tracking us via pussies and trying to be helpful
Mary Poppins with tempura
there's more than two of us, unless you've been pretending to be other people again
thinking of google as a fairly stupid dog
I just assumed that it's google tracking us via cookies and trying to be helpful
it was a four hundred million dollar deal, which I guess is a lot for a user base of two people
I guess maybe Ryan has partnered with google to allow regret index userdata to influence youtube recommendations
seriously, what is up with that shit
I have also been receiving these recommendations
youtube recommending you multiple videos of lions fucking tigers for some reason
bottoming for Julie Andrews in My Fair Ladyboy
Mary Poppins with breasts and a penis
the last tempura of Christopher Lydon
the last tempura of Christ
Mary Poppins with depression
Mary Poppins with a penis
Mary Poppins with breasts
Whenever Smogsteed Rider attacks, each other attacking creature gains fear until end of turn
eating four seven layer Doritos loco supreme meatuses from Taco Bell and being up until three am shitting on the toilet
ordering a fourth supreme nasal meatus and not tipping
Winonarama
where a fourth, supreme nasal concha is present, there is a fourth supreme nasal meatus
Swananarama
At first the OED wouldn't have it in its pages and even today the dictionary describes it as the most taboo word in English
This county will not bow to the views of racists, because decent society demands that intolerance is shown to all racists of any sort, however they chose to express their hatred of others, or dislike of others and the abuse that goes with it
e un piccolo mano bastardo
bigly
How the war of words between Trump and Pope Francis has evolved
cognitive decline
the roger of Death Moore
bottoming for Chris Lydon and a walrus in Fun Boy Threeway VII
inside of Bananarama it's too dark to read
People wet their knickers when they find out I was in Bananarama
Pokemon Strong and Stable My Arse
strong and stable my arse
getting Spice World instead of a Bananarama movie
wondering who is going to play The Chief in Spice World II Colon Extra Spicy
the death of Roger Moore
chateau de petit terre
the Dangerous Woman Tour having a dynamite bod
the Dangerous Woman Tour
chapeau de peut etre
chapeau de pretre
the Comey memo sounds savage af
these include the terms "beaver basher," "cranny axe," "custard launcher," "dagger," "heat seeking moisture missile," "mayo shooting hotdog gun," "pork sword," and "yogurt shotgun"
making a really nice chili
A passenger wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat and calling fellow air travelers "lesbian" and "Hillary" caused his United Airlines flight from Shanghai to New Jersey to be delayed seven hours
the way splenda foams so much when you put it in a cold liquid
A Mississippi Republican lawmaker who called for the lynching of politicians who approve of the removal of Confederate monuments needs to "quickly clear up his remarks," the state GOP chairman said Monday
promoting the possibility of lasting peach
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the uranus inside a man trope
Uranus, the sideways giant watching Inside Man while inside a man
having a GELIGNITE bod
eAT PANT
killing the guy who killed Hitler
Uranus, the sideways giant
watching Inside Man while inside a man
Dumbledore penis raping a TV
having a dynamite bod
Snaping Private Dumbledore
a child molesting robot is not news, a robot molesting child is
Bees by Dre
a child molesting robot
unlike alcohol bees have never killed anybody and have no ill effects
smoke bees erry day
fourtwenty buzz it
weed but every reference to weed is now a reference to bees
needing to fuck a midget in its deathbed
needing to fuck a midget on its deathbed
not really NEEDING to fuck a midget on your deathbed, but wanting to
wbere
the stench of white mulberry liquid soap
a concept piece wbere Erin Moran follows Eric Morecambe around repeating everything he says in a sullen, sarcastic mumble
the death of Erin Moran like a month ago
Pygram at a Japan Day ceremony in Wagamama
Joanie Loves Cheech and Chong
Nous vide
eight assholes and a token cunt
being loved by Joanie
Sous vide
Pygram at an Australia Day ceremony in Wagga Wagga
ramming things way into pigs with Wayne Pygram
it's only seventy inches and where do I go
Chris Lydon's palpitating a cripple
right now, as we speak
Chris Lydon's crippling a fat gay Asian
Chris Lydon's crippling a puppy
Chris Lydon's crippling anosmia
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring FULLY FUNCTIONAL spirit of Data defecating in the Captain's ready room
midget shavers
midget spinners
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring vengeful spirit of Trump defecating on his desk
infested spring
fidget spinners
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring image of Trump defecating on his desk
peg toodle pip pork, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig
fuck marry kill, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig
I would bust that tight pASTERISKASTERISKASTERISKy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week
He allegedly used the alias "T Dog" with her
'I Have a Sickness' Colon Weiner Cries While Pleading Guilty to Sexting Teen
weighing pies in grams with Wayne Pygram
LGbe languages AND GRAMMARS
Gbe languages
Rick Tailfeathers, Mayor of Duckburg
white inbred slut ratio loss leaders
Pokemon Steak and Ketchup
The experience seems to be made even more enjoyable because everyone else has to queue through security, battle with heavy language, and hike through the air terminal to get to the boarding gates
Rick Tailfeathers, a spokesperson for the Kainai First Nation located in southern Alberta
THIRTEEN inch DOUBLES
Tom Yum
twelve inch singles
white inbred slut ratio
wealth redistribution
loss leaders
she wore blue Woolvett, Gordon Michael Woolvett was the night, softer than satin was his skin, he put the lotion in the basket
bottoming for Gordon Michael Woolvett in Deepwater Black VII
fuck marry kill, Gordon Michael Woolvett, Joseph Gordon Levitt, G Gordon Liddy
you ate my dong, Jar Jar, I loved you
you were my dong, Jar Jar, I loved you
Star Wars Colon Episode IX Colon The Revenge of the Dong
smashing the canoptic jar containing crabs
smashing the canoptic jar containing Jar Jar's penis, so that his magnificent dong may rule once more
stealing that guy's jar from the canoptic laundry room
getting bladdered with Rud Hud Hudibras and Bladud in nud nud nudibars, isn't it
I was going to say "she was probably inexperienced, amirite" but after hearing what she said that is obviously untrue
A male reporter is interrupted by a girl on LIVE TV
Fluffa Fox
Peppa Pig set for more than lOO new episodes as eOne shareholders rejoice and Pedro Pony starts fluffing himself
Peppa Pig set for more than lOO new episodes as eOne shareholders rejoice and parents despair
some enchanted permanent
Scrotum McNuggets, Scottish gay porn star
wondering if anyone has made a mashup of Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm and MmmBop
Godhunter Octopus can't attack unless defending player controls an enchantment or an enchanted permanent
fuck marry kill, Stacy's mom, Jessie's girl, John Brown's body
smashing the canoptic jar containing Steve Harwell's mouth, so that his spirit will be silent in the afterlife
considering watching Stargate Colon SGOne but then working out that it must take something on the order of twenty eight days to watch in full, assuming you watch it sixteen hours a day with no breaks
putting in your eight inches for the bitches that have always been
putting in your eight hours for the powers that have always been
topping for Sub Perignon in Scrotum McNuggets VII
bottoming for Dom Perignon in Colon Pizza VII
scrotum mcnuggets
colon pizza
I would have guessed she was more into steaks and shakes
Chelsea Manning walked out of military prison Wednesday and straight onto Instagram, posting a portrait of herself and pictures of her first indulgences colon pizza and Dom Perignon
the Delacroix of French painting
The UMM
the Bacon of French cuisine
comically making love to these dolls, toodle pip
the Delacroix of French cuisine
Robert Swan Mueller III
President Riker, this fall on CBS All Access
I'd assume the RIKER is already stolen and systems compromised
I'd assume the data is already stolen and systems compromised
a sequel to Elder Nun Bra but its actually called Older Unborn and it's about someone trying to illegally supply the organ and or artificial organ trade and has nothing much to do with the original but the setting and definitely isn't a shitty action film
a sequel to Blade Runner but it's actually called Blood Runner and it's about someone trying to illegally supply the organ and or artificial organ trade and has nothing much to do with the original but the setting and definitely isn't a shitty action film
Ryan's office said "That never happened" until being told Walrus Porn has a recording
kind of blowing Gene Hunt, that magnificent pony
the Washington Pony
Ryan's office said "That never happened" until being told WaPo has a recording
paying attention sucka
saying oops up side your head, saying oops upside your head
diksuckas no match for meesa
they're no match for diksuckas
Kento Diksucka, typical Lancastrian
Kento Diksucka
Kento "The Dicksucker" Ikeda
Kento "The Dessicator" Ikeda
I just use gravy
you're going to need a lot of lube
wanting to make Kento a moistmaker for his birthday
synthol
bottoming for Henry Tudor in Henry VII
the Lancastrian violently emerges from Kowalski's peanuts when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine
The "traditional Southern" England phrasal preposition "off of" has "robust use" especially with "Anglo females"
dew yew keep a troshin
Tha's been a cooartin' Mary Jane
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra pussy sweat not since decimalisation
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra pussy sweat
not since decimalisation
Hast ta geet a SIXER tha con lend me
typical Lancastrian
Hast ta geet a fiver tha con lend me
killing the Norfolk broads
Norfolk broads
electroplating your Pennines
they're all monkeys that side of the Pennines
broad Lancashire
sleep on the left side
cookie sweat
puppy sweat
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra
pussy sweat
why'd you have to go and make things so constipated
Fatworld Avril Lavigne would never promote a Swollen Secret bar
clam chowder with Ben Browder in Ann Arbor
being electrocuted touching your coffee, coffee grounds
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slim Secret bar
Boscombe
bosombros
bosoms
Bellowbros
Bellowing Saddlebrute, Senator from Vermont
When Bellowing Saddlebrute enters the battlefield, you lose four life unless you attacked with a creature this turn
you are still a dipper on my chips
you are still a whisper on my hips
you are still a whisper on my lips
Mindy has a motorcycle
beef pizzle
hey, we're out of these "new love" cookies
everybody loves playing with lego
The One Where Ross Can't Stand Muslims
your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the eight year old boy and you'll realize you have nothing in common
thinking like an hour ago you could do with a nice drink, oblivious to the cup of tea you made which was a foot from your head and going cold just out of your line of sight
something is wrong on the internet
your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common
uhhh
I happen to like eight year old boys
Butt out to prove he's the best tight end in seventeen draft class
ABSOLUTE ZERO burritos recalled over KRYTENia fear ITSELF
oppositional defiant disorder
Frozen burritos recalled over KRYTENia fears
Frozen burritos recalled over listeria fears
ODD
buttermilk
THRILLER touches
BAD touches
touches
and whales isn't it
tastes
smells
goddamned bullshit security updates
even
Man found 'masturbating walrus vigorously', says he did it because he loves Podcaster
Man found 'masturbating walrus vigorously', says he did it because he loves Portland
Man found 'masturbating vigorously', says he did it because he deals that porn
Man found 'masturbating vigorously', says he did it because he hates Portland
Kento's Ass enters the battlefield tapped
Boreal Shelf enters the battlefield tapped
A bloody gigantic, bloody dead thing just bloody washed up in bloody Indonesia and nobody bloody knows what it is, crikey
pollinating Jackson C Frank in the eye with an anther when you were a plant
saying you're getting ready but actually getting back into bed shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a Gunther when you were a kid
saying you're getting ready but actually getting back into bed
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a Gunther when you were a kid
and whales
it was Gunther
you're shooting homeless people in the eyes with a bb gun again, aren't you
I know that you did it
We don't believe there is criminality in either of these cases because there is no trauma to the bodies
A gigantic, bloody dead thing just washed up in Indonesia and nobody knows what it is
inside of a man it's too dank to breed
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a walrus
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse
Leprechaun climbing out of penis shoots himself in the car
Man climbing out of car shoots himself in the penis
you mom's got a little pickle in her
your parents are sandwiches
don't say that about my parents
they must be pretty stale by now
apparently when my parents were dating they often ate a place that had good Reuben sandwiches so they always talk about them fondly, but the few times I've had them they've been kind of blah
having never had a Reuben sandwich but honestly thinking it's either one of those unlikely taste sensations or it's just any old shit someone had left over and you know some people will eat anything
wanting to make Kento a Reuben sandwich for his birthday but running out of Russian dressing
we need some more secret sauce, put this mayonnaise in the sun
we call it Freedom Dressing these days
Thousand Island dressing is often used in a Reuben sandwich in lieu of Russian dressing
cod futures soar on hinted Johnson presidential run
Former WWE Superstar and highest paid actor in Hollywood Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson recently said it's a "pull my finger" he will run for president in the future
Former WWE Superstar and highest paid actor in Hollywood Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson recently said it's a "real possibility" he will run for president in the future
Doctors have highlighted the need for awareness of anakinasis, caused by getting sand in your vagina
Doctors have highlighted the need for awareness of anisakiasis, caused by the larvae of a worm found in contaminated undercooked or raw fish or seafood
Daryl turns out to be a racist
Chrislydophon upuranus
Kentoeiphlon odopenus
Cladosiphon okamuranus
This Pokemon's Trainer must prioritize the daily maintenance of its throat at all costs
wondering why the designers thought to make a Pokemon with explicitely sexualized features, as if there weren't already enough people beating off to them already
TSAREENA used DRUNKEN BRAWL! SMOGON is going home in a fucking ambulance!
In victory, it shows off by kicking the defeated, laughing boisterously
A Pokemon known for the beauty of its well shaped legs, it sometimes appears as a mascot in advertisements for beauty salons
taking a restaurant that was rich in steaks and shakes and turning it into a place of buggery and prostitution
taking a country that was rich in soil and minerals and turning it into a place of beggary and destitution
He added that "the rest of his body gets attended to" in Zimbabwe by a physician who is not only Zimbabwean but "is actually black"
he may simply be concentrating if he's hard of hearing now
President Mugabe is not sleeping at conferences, but closing his eyes to protect them, his spokesman says
insane clown pussy
grapefruiting your man William December Williams Jr
grapefruiting your man
William December Williams Jr
Une heure avant la publication des documents, le fondateur du site, William Craddick, annoncait a ses lecteurs qu'une fuite majeure sur Emmanuel Macron etait en preparation
I must have a don'tache, John
I have John a mustache, don't
I don't have a mustache, John
Uber is a transport firm that requires a licence to operate, a senior member of European Union's top court has said
Peter Imhotep, I hardly know 'er!
Peter Imhotep
JAMIE DRACULA
Adam Frankenstein
bottoming for Donald Trump in Basic Pissplay VII
If we survive trump there's gonna be a generation of conservative leaders who have said like "sure that's just basic pissplay" on camera
being mon
Anisakis Skywalker
eating poke
a mash up of the Monster Mash and the themes from Up and M#A#S#H#
a mash up of Twisting the Night Away and the theme from Inception
Hayden Canesten
The brothel "will be equipped with at least four sexual dolls," which will "have body temperature and may groan when touched" and will "wait for the customers in their rooms"
hearing Chewbacca gargle in Stains on the Walking Carpet VII
nose springs
having never heard Chewbacca gargle
NO SPRINGS
Seventeen Moments of Spring
Raleigh man charged with pulling penis at Exposen Park
Raleigh man charged with exposing penis at Pullen Park
the difference between a distant police siren and an owl which is also a jerk
wondering why you keep having such awful dates and then realising that you've actually been signed up to Grendlr
a mash up of Floated Fetus, Eh and Sour Meaty Mike
a mash up of Duel of the Fates and Take Me I'm Yours
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war when he sits in council with his cabinet
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he chokes you harder when you call him daddy
the Danish remake of Jumper, Hygge Yimper
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Kit Fisto when he fists you
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Darth Vader when he chops off your hand
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Chewbacca when he gargles
being kind of surprised that there's no IVchan movie yet
wanting to make a movie called Rotten Tomatoes just to see its Rotten Tomatoes score
Cardigan Transmogrifying
Jumper Ascending
qualifying statement, Jumpers isn't a terrible film, but I did see all of Jupiter Ascending
An erratic action pic with little coherence and lackluster special effects
genuinely it's not a terrible film
A teenager with teleportation abilities suddenly finds himself in the middle of an ancient war between those like him and their sworn annihilators
bottoming for Claudia BBC in Fartgapes VII
wishing you hadn't laminated your list before you could add Claudia Black
that Kento was once mistakenly hired as a mall santa over a misunderstanding about his shaking like a bowel full of jelly
finding Rough Sex Monday's child choked to death in a makeshift noose crafted from a bathrobe in a lower upper market hotel in Singapore
Rough Sex Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace but in a different way
Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace
seeing how they run
naming your meth with Joe Nameth
the entire internet but every time someone writes bee instead of been or see they have to watch the entire Bee Movie and answer questions on Buzzfeed to understand which character they are personally most like or face a writ of damnatio memoriae
in the basket
packing lotion
lacking gumption
bottoming for Cherry Stoner in Ragged and Gaping Red Stained Anal VII
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the cherry stone out of the ragged and gaping red stained canal between the fresh, pert contours of the cherry's lower end trope
Unfortunately, the social media crew failed to notice there was a sex toy prominently displayed in the locker of catcher Kevin Plawecki, which was apparently placed there as part of a clubhouse prank
Pure Grain Cheetos
Pure Grain Cheerios
not drinking cheerios
More than a quarter of young adults in the UK do not drink alcohol, cheerio
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN ONE EYED PANTS MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN POCKET MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN WATER MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
Lolitasize Tehrangeles
Tehrangeles
A fraternity member with bottles of malt liquor affixed to each of his hands with duct tape vomits into a box of breakfast cereal
ensuring Ukrainian food security
Ukraine has banned American action movie star Steven Seagal as a national security threat
working ninety five, what a way to make a living
spurning Temujin's boobs
Bortai spurns Temujin and is taken back in a raid
Ezri Dax taking the safest crap
Ezri Dax
taking the safest crap
Safecrap, the abandonware of scifi
Farscape, the abandonware of scifi
pinko liberal architecture
chrome digizoid
brutalist architecture
having a sudden, weird flashback to the libertarian in you
go hang a salami i'm a lasagna hog
Prince Philip, sixty nine, to step down from pubic duties in fall
Prince Philip, ninety five, to step down from public duties in fall
Inappropriate Laugh Track
Ross Invited Them All to Watch
arriving home and filling your toilet with what has to be close to a gallon of shit
Flacid Brexxxit
Hard Brexxxit
sha la la la la la la, mmm hmm, honk honk
watcing four episodes of Bizarre Food with Andrew Zimmern on the plane and he didn't eat a single cock
having a sudden, weird flashback to blowing a pony
having a sudden, weird flashback to the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope
having a sudden, weird flashback to the librarian in you
snapping teeth out of my jaw after a failed pass attempt
watching a Greek crime drama performed in English but set in the Golden Age in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled titan is named Krono
Krono for short
signed, Kronos
signed, Krono
that on Family Feud today the question was "name something you lick without biting" and this hot chick sad "hot kid" and it was genuinely enraging
the death of Leonardo DiCaprio
the death of Leonardo da Vinci
that on Family Feud today the question was "name something you lick without biting" and this hot chick sad "hot dog" and it was genuinely arousing
flying All Nipple Airways
shitting blood when you brush or floss
I Want To Cash My Car Stealing, Knife Wielding, Twerking Thirteen Year Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime Outside
Guy Fieri Dub Colon The Jamaican Jerk Off
Guy Fieri Dub Colon Turkey Trouble!
spitting blood when you brush or floss
flying All Nippon Airways
I Want To Give Up My Car Stealing, Knife Wielding, Twerking Thirteen Year Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime
United promised that it would never charge passengers for restroom use, though it said other fees allow the company to keep airfares low
wondering if, in the XXX Parody world, there are actors who regularly portray the same people, like the same guy stands in for Richard Dreyfuss in Mr Holland's O Face, Hand in Me, and Gross Encounters of the Turd Kind
he's versatile
topping for Rockhard Dinguss in Mr Holland's Anus
everyone knows that the Seventeenth Battalion Prince of Wales Own West Yorkshire Regiment was full of size queens
One of the miners, rejected on account of his size, offered to fight any man there as proof of his suitability as a soldier, and six men were eventually called upon to remove him
bottoming for Mann Butts in Hard Labour VI
bottoming for Anthony Cock in Butts of Bees III
beeing
bottoming for Rockhard Dinguss in Mr Holland's O Face
eating four hundred and fifty grams of coriander
yeah, that
eatting
eating a pound of cilantro
eating a pound of weed
she sure does
Judy Hopps
by the trasitive property, Seth McFarlane's doll like eyes
you know the thing about Seth McFarlane, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a shark's eyes
Lebron James's toes
Seth McFarlane's shark like eyes
Charlize Practin
Charlize Theron
Aiel Shaon, mermaid
Shaon Ston, Bedrock prostitute
drowning in Shaon Stone's vagina
Demi Kim Pfieff one
imagining the monstrosity one could create with the body parts of Michelle Pfeiffer, Kim Basinger, Demi Moore, and Sharon Stone
just now realising that you've been conflating Michelle Pfieffer with Kim Basinger
she wasn't crossing her legs, she was flopping her dong over her leg for comfort
that scene in Indecent Exposure where Michelle Pfeiffer crosses her legs and her enormous floppy dong falls out
trying to think of the movie with the leg crossing scene and conflating a bunch of stuff into "Indecent Exposure" starring Michelle Pfeiffer
something something fellate me none something frozen meat on demand something Melania something something TRUMP STEAK
asking your TRUMP STEAK to fellate me none
asking your french steak to fellate me none
putting baked beans in the korma
The Party at Gimli and Legolas's
The Party at Kento and Tusks's
The Party at Kitty and Stud's
Kento's GIMLI
Kento's GLOIN
Kento's groin
A "DESTINY" will be given for unorderly penises
A "fail" will be given for unorderly penises
no, she was just flaccid the whole time
she's not the same as Eighteen Inch Michelle Pfieffer, but age withers us all, I guess
bottoming for twelve inch Michelle Pfieffer in The Witches of Eastdick
noticing that Jar Jar has appreciated by XL% but the signed picture of Michelle Pfieffer has depreciated by XXXIII%
the swan, the beak end
the swan, the legend
the man, the legend
Comedy, with a dry twist, will appeal to folks interested in military action
wanting to make Kento a grilled toast sandwich for his birthday
Isaac Toast, muggle
A toast sandwich is a sandwich made by putting a thin slice of toast between two thin slices of bread with a layer of butter, and adding salt and pepper to taste
Kento's being meat first
spinning Brian Peppers' cum into gold
Orf Sex Monday
Millpool
Chris calls it 'sodomyou'
being Kento's first mate
that is honestly the only thing Kento could teach a class on
wanting to educate Kento about the pirate tradition for his birthday
Burg puts historians to shame by raising extremely interesting questions that no one before had asked
Bodmin Okehampton, New England colonist
Clevedon Portishead, Tauren death knight
eating the ablative singular of the Latinised form of Gorden
Gordano Ikeda
The name Gordano comes from Old English and is descriptive of the triangular shape of the whole valley from Clevedon to Portishead, being the ablative singular of the Latinised form of Gorden meaning muddy valley
Gordano's a dump
regrets that were supposed to be texts
stopping at Gordano
if you wanna be the best, and if you wanna beat the rest
Elmo Breeder Group Opposes Bill Outlawing Elmo Rape
Animal Breeder Group Opposes Bill Outlawing Animal Rape
A man in China has inserted a live eel into his anus in the hopes of fixing his constipation, but the extreme measure almost took his life
every episode of Star Trek Colon The Next Generation except every time Riker asks if it could be a star Picard mutters christ and every time it's the Romulans Picard yells OH SHIT A DICK and goes to his ready room to drink tea
Crombrugheella de Ville
Galleria CROMBRUGHEELLA
Galleria mellonella
Doctor Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Exam
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Mustache Ride
wanting to aee it
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Ride, if you know what I mean
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Ride
fuck marry kill, Ender's Game, Six Days Seven Nights, Cowboys & Aliens
hearing about the Millennium Fandom bar and kind of wanting to aee it, on condition that you are permitted to tear off your own skin and hurl it at the nerds like a horrible coat
Ja Rule, Mos Eisley cantina tramp
Ja Rule nominated for Deputy Secretary of United States Department of Housing and Urban Development
I truly apologize as this is NOT MY FAULT
The plush villas that had been promised were actually the same type of tents the Federal Emergency Management Agency uses to bring relief to disaster stricken areas
only blowing about eight ponies per season
Your ignorance makes me ill and angry
Colin Lionel Emm
fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, Mrs Jones, Stacey's mom
thinking being president would be easier
Pokemon Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard
ducking back down the alley with some roly poly little bat faced girl
not getting genital mutilated
policies on compulsory genital inspection for Muslim teenagers
FULLY FUNCTIONAL water
hard water
I can call you daddy
I can call you Betty
Sad!
In an appearance at the University of Chicago on Monday, former President Barack Obama unloaded a relentless barrage of complete sentences in what was widely seen as a brutal attack on his successor, Donald Trump
musky, manly ladies
who needs empathy, human characters, good action, or witty banter when you can just leer at a woman from behind while she rewards an unworthy character with musky, manly, lady objectifying sex
wondering when we're finally going to get the BJ and the Bear reboot, most likely starring the Rock
Carrie Fisher taquitos
Debbie Reynolds vaquitas
you can take all the tea in China
fuck marry kill, Burt Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds, Debbie Reynolds
vaquitas
it's just the bear', that simple bear', forget about your worries and your strife
fuck marry kill, BJ, the Bear, a bear'
sitting around eating Kit Kats and Nik Naks because you're knackered, kid
fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds
fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan
the death of Aunty Fee
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Insemination
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I Hardly Know 'Er!
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Star Trek Colon Nemesis
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Black Cock Down
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Man Smacks Fury Road
little red spicy boys, swear I'll catch you with my hand
Rename Fire Ants to Spicy Boys!!!
Sergeant Stubby
I want the BEST WOMAN, but I need the WORST CAT
You want a good girl, but you need the bad cookie
You want a bad boy, but you need the good dog
You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy
I have no skeletons left
now the skeletons are gone
I have opened the closet and shown the skeletons
drawing a picture of Kento smearing peanut butter on his genitals in the hold of a United Airlines jet while Simon the Giant Rabbit freezes to death
for the sake of accuracy
it was United
drawing a picture of Kento smearing peanut butter on his genitals in the hold of an American Airlines jet while Simon the Giant Rabbit freezes to death
that your sibling is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really got some stools to deposit here
the death of Simon the giant rabbit
freezing all the peanut butter
getting all the way to the hugest dump before you found out it's always closed wednesdays, you got stools to deposit here, it ain't considerate of the local refuse collectors
getting all the way to the dump before you found out it's always closed wednesdays, you got stoolies to deposit here, it ain't considerate of the local refuse collectors
inserting three kilograms of batteries into your urethra
topping for Elias Ashmole in Eli's Asshole Colon It Belongs in a Museum
bottoming for Sir Walter's Cock in The Bride Of Hammermore
"This," thought Lovel to himself, " is a famous counterpart to the story of Kelp on this syde"
world which had the popular religions that also were the most copied ideas world wide, like how Rome completely copied greece
Macedonian PVC
You have a contract to deliver this show to us, and you will continue to deliver the show as best you can on schedule or we will sue you
Corinthian leather, I'm walkin' here
getting in a time machine and going back to when a series of screen shots blending Ricardo Montelban as Khan Noonien Singh and Ricardo Montelban as Mr Roarke would've made a kind of ok joke about de planing
United Airlines is investigating the death of a giant rabbit which was being transported on one of its planes
the unit of "kilogram" isn't even defined "internationally" with the accuracy needed to distinguish the masses of the battery before and after
the death of Kristyna Martelli
When not dressed as an ape, the north London father of two is a policeman
Walrus keeps throwing up fish
Kento applies for fifteenth credit card this year
Last male northern white rhino joins Grindr to raise money
Last male northern white rhino joins Tinder to raise money
huffing Diablo IV
crack cocaine, it's just like World of Warcraft
having seen a lot of ads for shitty online games lately that boast of being "addictive" as though it were a selling point
meeting Brian Peppers until he bragged about being from West Virginia
The Execution Centipede
sucking a Tim Burton heroine's left one until she had a breastgasm
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Sixty Nine Sexecutions LXIX
Arkansas carries out country's first ass to ass executions in almost two decades
A herd of wild boars have mauled three Islamic State militants to death as the extremists tried to ambush locals
Arkansas carries out country's first sixty nine executions in almost two decades
Arkansas carries out country's first BELLY TO BELLY executions in almost two decades
Arkansas carries out country's first back to back executions in almost two decades
je ne veux pas consacrer ma vie a des connards
a wonderful invention with special x ray tricks
that one year where you left it out and discovered that christmas pudding can indeed ferment given time
still having christmas pudding in the fridge, admittedly having only steamed it about a month ago, but still
serving spotted dick with sussex pond pudding and hot wings and calling it sussex hot dick
serving spotted dick with old speckled hen and calling it old speckled dick
Mr Neutralgoodpiss's Deli and Gunsmith
making chili just so you could have a late night chili kid after your workout
making chili just so you could have a late night chili dog after your workout
obviously I'd rather be found dead in front of Fat Gay Asians VIII Colon Underage Bumfight Edition than Everyone Says I Love You, but that's just normal
my parents really want to see it, but I'm not sure why
I probably would watch Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium again
I'd rather be found dead being jackhammered by a blow job bot than found dead watching Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium
having some inkling that when you die, like a lot of single people, you'll be found in front of porn, but being sort of glad you won't be found after your sex bot determined that you had died and summoned help
Kimchee for Kento
the Model I service droid from Arlan Robotics
wondering whether Chris Lydon uses condoms, or whether he has to repurpose surgical gloves
Men removing condoms during sex in disturbing online trend 'stealthing'
Udon for You Mom
Gumbo for Bimbos
Bisque for Bitches
Stock for Skanks
Stew for Slags
Soup for Sluts
Mr Neutralgoodpiss
The Most Neutral Good Piss Ever Made
The Most Dangerous Pistol Ever Made
finding the fresh prints deep in the uncle fill
finding the fresh prints deep in the banks
you look for the fresh prints
wondering how you track Will Smith in the snow
repugnant colon apocrine sweat glands
rude ass titties
In the episode "The Homer they Fall" in Simpson, Homer make KO all homeless men and later he is beat by Drederick Tatum
when Bart always used to say iAy, Harambe!
ma bra, eh
Harambe
Friendship D, eh
wondering when "advertisement" got officially replaced with "sponsored content"
cuando Bart siempre decia Oh penis!
when Bart always used to say iAy, caramba!
na nana nana na na na na nana na, na nana nana na na Myke Harambe
RIP Harambe
When I go to a zoo and I see a gorilla my hormones go absolutely crazy
Our revolutionary forces are combat ready to sink a US nuclear powered aircraft carrier with a single strike
The crying woman is heard saying, "Nobody puts baby in the corner"
The crying woman is heard saying, "You can't use violence with baby"
losing your iris or vagina at Nudity Jr concert
losing your religion at an REM Jr concert
losing your dinosaur at a Virginity Jr concert
losing your virginity at a Dinosaur Jr concert
offending dinosaur sex
dinosaur sex offenders
finding "dinosaur Sex Offender Shuffle with agent fifty seven" in your autofill cache
Campbell Soup Co, which owns Pace Salsa, confirmed that Pace never had a Twitter account
I don't know how I did that
Sex Offender ShuffleCampbell Soup Co, which owns Pace Salsa, confirmed that Pace never had a Twitter account
Sex Offender Shuffle
Vicious Baby Attack Thwarted By Cabin Crew
flying American Airlines, I'm flyin' here
Benoit became good friends with fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero following a match in Japan, when Benoit kicked Guerrero in the head and knocked him out cold
always being sad when the weather in VEGETABLE AVOIDING is better than the weather in real life
always being sad when the weather in Animal Crossing is better than the weather in real life
why else would you level up a Lickitung
feeling a little nauseous at the idea of pokemon tossed salads
feeling a little nauseous at the idea of pokemon caviar
Pokemon Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs
Pokemon Caviar and Cigarettes
Oops! All Caviar and Cigarettes
Oops! All Berries
Hash balls recalled for possible contamination with golf browns
Hash browns recalled for possible contamination with golf balls
that episode of TNG where Troi loses her empathic powers and it's totally like she has PMS
Potable Odo
Menstruable Odo
signing the declination of independence
Rare parchment manuscript of US Declaration of Independence found in England
your new phone teaching itself to help you typo more efficentlt
Star Wats
Star Wats probably has a highly specific droid for your needs
not actually knowing what happens with menstruation in Star Trek, like is there a magical pill you take and it just stops or what
Cuntstable Odo
trying out some of those Odo period panties
trying out some of those Edo period panties
trying out some of those Aslan period panties
trying out some of those Asian period panties
TRIBBIANI NORMANDY PIKES
GOOGLE AVRIL LAVIGNE
honestly though guard the bodyfuck
bing Britney Spears
honestly though fuck the bodyguard
finding out that there is a musical version of The Bodyguard and hoping that Frank is forced to sing a song about hand eye ee eye ee eye co ord in a tion oooo oh co ordination
S E Cupp
seriously craving some Bugger Rink, but not trusting the one by your house since he asked if you have a sister and whether she was "fun"
I'm forming a cadre of Martian knights charged with enforcing Martian law
Under an ancient principle of Anglo Saxon and American law, a person convicted of a crime must be allowed to complete an appeal of the conviction
Skrillex gets pulled off, fingerbanged in Hollywood
not choosing the cyborg life
'American Idol' winner Trent Harmon to headline Steak 'n Shake Carb Night Burger Bash
when you lose all your open tabs and can't remember what they were and your history constantly updates like a single page so it just continually drags your focus away and you're like what the fuck is this fucking dementia shit I am just trying to live
the death of Cuba Gooding Sr
just now looking up what fingercuffing means
Skrillex gets pulled over, fingerbanged in Hollywood
haven't heard a beat like this in ages
asking Yoda why he still hasn't got us a brand deal and we're stuck eating off brand muesli like amateurs and being told we cannot Alpro be
shiokara
kiviaq
Skrillex gets pulled over, fingercuffed in Hollywood
Donald Trump's lawyers have argued that protesters "have no right" to "express dissenting views" at his campaign rallies because it infringes on the US President's First Amendment rights
Skrillex gets pulled over, handcuffed in Hollywood
sales of Barbie have fallen sharply, ah ah ah yeah, adding to a worse than expected slump for Mattel, uu oooh u, uu oooh u
dough thought through nought though sought enough furlough in the borough to tough through a rough cough
though
that is an unfortunate sequence of regrets thought
I've never kept you silent
drraming about repeatedly smashing Justin Bieber's face inti tables snd such in a cartoonishly violent fashion and being frankly surprised at the hostility you appear to hold for him
feeling it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
hey guys, remember Marc Alaimo
I'll start climbing uphill and get out of here
all of Hubbard's feces is being sealed in lucite and lowered into lead lined shafts deep beneath the Arizona desert
millions of Hubbard's words are being etched on steel plates and sealed in titanium crates, filled with inert gases
Fowl Moudama
knowing that Prince put out such a high volume of work that some of it was almost certain to be terrible , but not realising that it was as criminally bad as this joke I'm making
New Prince Songs Blocked by Judge, for Now
Jedi Foul Moudama had enhanced eyesight thanks to his dual set of eyes, and not very poor eyesight requiring extra eyes to compensate like a normal person might have expected
Foul Moudama
Stuntwoman turned actress Susan Backlinie was cast as Chrissie, the first victim, as she knew how to swim and was willing to perform nude
fuck marry kill, Robert Shaw, Run Run Shaw, George Bernard Shaw
fuck marry kill, Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Roy Scheider, Rob Roy
Rob Schneider, I hardly know 'er!
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Rob Reiner, Rod Steiger
something something Kim Jong un something BBC news something Dennis Rodman something missile inspection
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Jon Voight, Chuck Norris
Satellite images suggest North Koreans were plaaaaaying, playing with the boys at their nuclear test site last weekend
Satellite images suggest North Koreans were playing volleyball at their nuclear test site last weekend
fuck marry kill, Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, Kid Rock
Trump hosts Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock at the White House
now, that's clearly a CW show
New Black Girl, Wednesdays at eight central on BET
coming in like a new black girl
coming in like a bawling clerk
coming in like a wrekin ercall
coming in like a wrecking ball
The Butcher Boy, the Cook, His Wedding Night and the Bell Boy
damning dogs for all eternity with Ellen Barkin
The self styled leader of the breakaway republic of Forvik in Shetland has been ordered to do community service for driving a "consular vehicle" with fake number plates and no insurance
witnessing the fitness
drawing a picture of Marc Alaimo at a midwest small town convention discretely letting a fan know that if they really want to put Gul Dukat in his place, for two hundred bucks it can happen
phone tuping
feeling kind of bad for the would be actors whose 'big break' is one season seven episode of a bootleg Trek show, and also for the actual Trek actors who sometimes appear, presumably for most of the budget
feeling a little bit better about all the weeks of your life wasted on watching shitty shows and being stoned whenever someone's fan film extravaganza appears on your radar, because it's not like you REALLY wasted your life like those assholes
After orbiting a planet that is run by the Goa'ulds, The Enterprise receives a distress call from Com Hansen saying that they were attacked by the Goa'ulds and soon after receiving the distress call, Lt Hansen's ship was destroyed by the Goa'ulds
the show, not the movie
that Tony Amendola and Erick Avari wete both in Stargate, which is likely why you managed to conflate them
Bigfoot and Sex Henderson
wondering why Sex Henderson chose to be credited as S Period Henderson in the charming family film Princess and the Pony
Vedek Yarka
that a google image search for Sex Henderson gives a whole lot of Florence Henderson
apparently confusing both Erick Avari and Tony Amendola both with one another and with some guy, who may have been Princess and the Pony star Sex Henderson
or a guy in a rubber mask who really reminded me of that guy
plus it has that guy from Stargate who kind of looks like Hamid Karzai
Princess of Mars is actually pretty solid, in a hokey tv movie kind of way
Traci Lords never did anal, but there's no way that you could have known that I know that
really enjoying the vegan no soy easter egg you got and wishing you got two
Traci Lords Colon Underneath It All
She has also said that she hopes to run for a major party nomination to be President of the United States upon her reaching the age of thirty five, per the minimum age requirement for United States presidents
the other tenants have been complaining about the incessant swaddling
She puts together, like, six weeks at a time of sobriety, then drifts away
Conaway joined Celebrity Rehab castmate Mary Carey at the premier of her spoof flick Celebrity Pornhab with Dr Screw
RIP Jeff Conaway
RIP Michael O'Hare
RIP Andreas Katsulas
RIP Richard Biggs
RIP Jerry Doyle
wondering what happened to Claudia Christian after Babylon V snd deducing that Robin Baumgarten is wearing her, Buffalo Bill style
Jeopardy contestant blurts out hilariously wrong answer to question
MAJOR laserwort
hey guys, remember Jaylaser, beep boop
hey guys, remember Jimmy's jammin' jambalaya laserwort
just take a deep breath and hope the swelling goes down
trapped in these guys what am I to do
trapped in the skies what am I to do
deriding a side saddle rider drinking cider while she derides the cider inside you
laserwort removal
Owl sex interrupted a Florida tennis match
owl ceviche
Loud sex interrupted a Florida tennis match
rarest owl
def jam Bono montages
hey guys, remember Jimmy's jammin' jambalaya
laserwort
JIMMY'S JAMMIN' JAMBALAYA
def twins Bono menage
performing Queen songs in the style of a grizzled nineteenth century prospector, dagnabbit
licking it head on and meating it
Plum BUTTERCUP POST COITAL Praying Mantis SWORDFIGHTING
waffle stompers
bottoming for Fuckmonster Bueller in Fuckmonster Bueller's Gay Off VII
INDUSTRIAL MULBERRY JOULES
def twins homo menage
Homemade Fig Newtons
Plum Blossom Praying Mantis Boxing
fig ruse
figures
Shattered Colon Inside Hillary Clinton's Doomed Campaign
premature EPS conduit rupture
Well, you're just going to have to learn how to bow down and say master
meeting it head on and licking it
wondering what percentage of assimilated borg got some kind of telescoping plasma dick implant
A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away
FULLY FUNCTIONAL borg implants
borg implants
the best of both worlds, PART II
the best of both worlds
busty girthy chickdudes
thy rugs died
girthy dudes
sticky chubs
kitschy cubs
busty chicks
string petril
string theory
Miracle Whip will not tone it down
girth essence
string cheese
Rita Marley Harambe
The Official Dick Out For Harambe Website
Ariel Winter Displays Dick Out For Harambe
Boobsot Coochollo, deathstick dealer
The Official Dick Hyman Website
Orool Wontor Dosploys Boobs ot Coochollo
Ariel Winter Displays BLUNDERING DUNDERHEADS at Coachella
Ariel Winter Displays NINNIES at Coachella
Ariel Winter Displays Boobs at Coachella
asking Phil Jupitus if he petted us
hunting for holly with Holly Hunter
Becoming a ninja
I don't think that's going to make the deli girl like you
trying to become more avuncular than creepy
eating junk all day long and somehow ending up with heartburn and a headache
eating junk food all day long and somehow ending up with heartburn and a headache
Damn Heligolanders! They ruined Heligoland!
many Heligolanders were living in exile in the coastal city of Cuxhaven
Mister Ed and the Dodgers
Goldie Hawn, Nabooan Senator
I've had it up to here with these damn rickets
Adele Dazeem, Nabooan Senator
Pamela Adlon, Nabooan Senator
Sebooan Nanator, Nabooan Senator
Orth Korena, Nabooan Senator
Orth Korena
the willingness of Korena missiles to explode only show the extreme ardor of their opposition to Western imperialism and devotion to Our Leader
North Korea 'will test missiles weekly', senior official tells BBC "They will all crash"
fart fist dancing
standing traffic
TN woo
O Town
Mugwumps get knocked down, and they don't get up again
for goodness NIHONSHU
chinnery
Mugwumps
ordering an assing
for goodness sake
ordering an adsing
ordering plush noun soup
ordering un poupon slush
kind of loving Jennifer Love Hewitt, that magnificent bastard
the President Donald J Trump Creativity Church of Rome
one of the west coast newspapers called us commie midget
Brian de Palma and Brian Glover's lovechild, Brian Deglover
Sousson Pannan, Outer Rim Smuggler
Sousson Pannan
Daisy reportedly threw him out after he failed to pay for the wedding and then stole some pigs and a saddle
I say to thee, respectfully
Justices on Brazil's supreme federal court wear their black robes belted with a thick metal buckle and floor length capes
face ass take on, The British Bulldog, Darth Vader, Kento
wanting to schedule Kento to first face, then ass, then face and ass Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
killing whores with Keeley Hawes
all the trouble your laptop has been for the last like six years or however long you've had it for
President Garfield, died on a Monday, buried on a Tuesday, decomposed on Wednesday, decomposed on Thursday, decomposed on Friday, decomposed on Saturday, decomposed on Sunday, President Garfield
well, he was shot months earlier but died on a monday
that President Garfield was killed on a monday
the death of an eight year old child in Twickenham in MMXIII, who collided with a player of British bulldog while playing a different game
Guiteau reportedly wanted a British Bulldog revolver with ivory grips instead of wooden ones, as he believed they would look nicer when the gun was displayed in a museum
WWF World Heavyweight Champion Bret Hart and The British Bulldog took on Vader and The Patriot in a tag team, eh, cheerio, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!, I'm walkin' here
wanting to schedule Kento to ASS Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
facing dude love
wanting to schedule Kento to face Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
On the afternoon of the event, Brian Pillman, who was scheduled to face Dude Love on the show, was found dead in his hotel room
Badd Blood Colon In Your House
tasseography
The missile blew up almost immediately
vibrating bum faced goats
the International Rutabaga Curling Championship
biscuits with nakko cheese
triscuits with nacho cheese
coming here to be all out of tall ships and too early for space ships sorghum
coming here to be all out of tall ships and too early for space ships
sorghum
dickbitches
dickmares eat oats and dickdoes eat oats and little dicklambs eat ivy
dickmares
is a WAFFLE
my daughter
I don't think that you grasp the magnitude of the regret that I'm feeling here
blowing a pony's left one until she killed the California girls
banging a Tim Burton heroine until she had a waffle
The Shining but instead of Jack saying "here's Johnny!" it's Nicolas Cage saying "not the bees!" and instead of forgetting where I was going with this it's witty and on point, damn Daniel
Bobby Brown but the 'by' is the Bee Movie trailer
Pokesupermon
Pokemon Man and Superman
theiliad
theodicy
No one wants to run flat out and put their head into a wall
Murad signed a statement saying that he was innocent and that he was a tourist visiting his friend in his chemical import export business
eating curry on an empty stomach
Utah judge calls ex Mormon posh bear convicted of pi a 'doom nag'
Nineties jokes
Utah judge U U U UTAH JUDGE calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'GREAT SUPERMAN'
Utah judge calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'good man'
Utah judge calls ex Mormon bishop convicted of rape a 'good man'
Ghostbusters II but ev
Ghostbusters but every instance of the word ghost is edited into the word goat
Oh christ on a bike
Ghostbusters but ev
buggering nerds
debugging nerds
coding nerds
developing nerds
using a silicon based lubricant with your jedi boyfriend
using a petroleum based lube with your cheerleader girlfriend
everybody knows cheerleaders are made of rubber, they ain't got no feelings
this is going places I wish it hadn't
A worse old rape device that can pull bras off cheerleaders could transform life for developing nerds in parts of the world
A solar powered device that can pull bras off cheerleaders could transform life for developing nerds in parts of the world
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing world rationing icy nude bras to the naked cheerleaders
A solar powered device that can convert power into other kinds of power could transform life for people in parts of Tosche Station
bedeutsamen zweifel
A force powered device that can cut clean through anything could transform life for sand people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
putting enter next to delete
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water o could transform life for sand people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
it's hip to be movie
only in German, presumably
Investigators in Germany say there is "significant doubt" that Tuesday's attack on the Borussia Dortmund team bus was the work of radical Islamists
Mustache on People's Court
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing world
rationing icy nude bras to the naked cheerleaders
thinking it's kind of an indictment of society that even after all these years there's still no Icy Nude Bra Ration
thinking it's kind of an indictment of society that even after all these years there's still no Urbane Dictionary
saying I'm the only bee in your bonnet but every time you say bee it's the entire Bee Movie and every time they say bee it slows down
saying I'm the only bee in your bonnet
a boy went back to Champs Elysees, because he missed the scenery, the native walrus and the podcasters, but wait a minute, something's wrong! 'cause now it's "Hey Kento, Kento Eiffeliano"
Kento Eiffeliano
it's hip to be Data
hip Data
pad thai
you don't wanna sew my thumb where my shit cums out
you don't wanna see my thumb where my shit comes out
you don't wanna see my thumb where my lips eat at
you don't wanna see my thumb where my lips be at
sewing a thumb to your lips
putting a thumb to your hips
putting a thumb to your lips
Donald Trump's superfluous second anus Ashton Kutcher's webbed toes
Donald Trump's superfluous second anus
Ashton Kutcher's webbed toes
Zac Efron's nipples
Megan Fox's thumb
that apparently there is a serious The OC style drama based around the Archie comics characters and that is terrible and hilarious and stupid and amazing and I really want to see it
sha la, la, la, la, la, la, la
life is as pointless as counting crows
the Simpsons are going to lewd area!
the Simpsons are going to Delaware!
The posting notes that the assailant was "bouta fight her," followed by several emojis indicating that a person was laughing so hard she was crying
I couldn't be more thrilled to expand on Jim Henson's mesmerizing universe, and take a new generation of moviegoers back into the Labyrinth
wanting to make Kento a Whopper for his birthday
ultra obscene
somebody edited Wikipedia to describe the Whopper as the "scrotum growth rape drub" and another added nice day to the list of ingredients
somebody edited Wikipedia to describe the Whopper as the "worst hamburger product" and another added cyanide to the list of ingredients
one more heartbeat and you walk the wire
Video shows cop slam and beat black pedestrian after alleged jaywalking
imagaining a "the Aristocrats!" style joke with "the Ikedas!" as the punchline
A walrus Tickle Me Elmo is terrifying the Ikedas
A furless Tickle Me Elmo is terrifying the internet
if Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick
I'll have the cream of Sum Yung Gai
constantly cumming in Constance Cummings
I thought I had mono once for an entire year, turned out i was just really bored
if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he hopped
Noe Cowa
Bythe Spirt
as long as they keep pumping in the quarters who gives a shit, right
kids know dick
downloading multiple copies of the book "The Comedy Database of Errors" bythe incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
fffffffffff
pink't bum tubes
you're hypnotised, by these colours all around you
COMMITTING TO that FANCIEST face SCOURING SARCOPHAGUS because I SHOWED it on FACEBOOK
M'Lady, Vulcan ensign
Gungan Flufflers
Wookiee Wranglers
Ewok Handlers
I'm Sauron, Ms Jackson, no man can kill me
trading your colon in a game of cards
it was thanks to that card game that I know what a Gaderffii Stick is
Frances Alfred Basil Tomlin
nope, I apologize, I had him confused with BoShek
buying twenty dollars worth of packs of the old Star Wars Colon Customizable Trading Colon Card Colon Game as a teenager and opening like seven Ric Olies
nobody even says his name on screen
remembering that the name of the pilot in The Phantom Menace was Ric Olie and even how to spell his name but not remembering how the electron shell thingy works even though you spent years trying to learn it
J Geils, remember J Lala
In the complaint for damages, a man identified as DH, who claims he was sexually abused by Murray in his former Capitol Hill apartment, made specific remarks regarding the mayor's body and a mole on his genitalia
m'lady
tipping your fedora at Medea
fancying your clean face
cleansing your fancy face
trying out that fancy face cleansing mask because you saw it on Instagram
I'm sorry Ms Jackson BWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM we need to go deeper
in the summertime when you come on Eileen
the death of my angel is the centerfold in the summertime when the golden brown texture like come on Eileen
the band of J Geils
Magic Jew is Dickish
Magic Dick is Jewish
the death of J Geils
Pokemon The Funkiest Man You've Ever Seen
Pokemon Red and Green
Pokemon Black and White
Balaeniceps rex
the towns of Samnium have become villages, and most have vanished altogether
pitching a porn parody of Hackers, Knackers
Pokemon Scat and Bestiality
it's mostly swearing and nudity, but there's some scat and bestiality at the top of the second act
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson insists that the upcoming "Baywatch" movie reboot is "far dirtier" than the classic TV series
She tells him that, "this Dairy Queen is closed," which I assume to mean that they severed her milk ducts when she got those implants
Anyway, Aunt Becky looks fly as fuck, and she immediately starts talking to Jesse about how firm her ass is and then they start making out
flying Untied
chugging the same ache all week
French Jewel Thieves Tie Up Jewel, Spoon at Gunpoint
French Jewel Thieves Tie Up Catilyn Jenner, Steal Penis at Gunpoint
Caitlyn Jenner Confirms Her Penis Is Gone!
Even after the tenements were demolished, he continued to live in a pitched tent on the site
pink mutt pubes
Pumpkin Buttes
when I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts and just dual your banjoes
when I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts and just pull you real close
leaving my cool bay leaves to Michael Bay
always thinking there were more than three players on a football team but you never really knew the rules that well
A XIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII year old teacher from California has allegedly had sex with the three football team players of Mount Shasta High School
A XXXXII year old teacher from California has allegedly had sex with the three football team players of Mount Shasta High School
having literally never heard of Robert Irvine until just now, cheerio
learning that Robert Irvine has his own Jerry Springer style daytime trash TV show and wondering how the world got to this point
beaming Potor Noppors
renaming Dwayne Johnson the Cod on the grounds that you eat what you be
renaming Kento Ikeda the Cock on the grounds that you are what you eat
renaming Dwayne Johnson the Cod on the grounds that you are what you eat
flying United
bottoming for Jim West, desperado in The Thickest They Is VII
David Manning
meeting Broon Poppors
being the slickest they is
picking either "fame and fortune but you're married to Avril Lavigne and Miley Cyrus simultaneously" or "finding Jewel's sex tape but it also stars your parents"
I don't want to see that
sewing Will Smith's hand where his hip be at
I thought you'd stopped that chopshop body mutilation stuff
seeing Will Smith's hand where his hip be at
you don't wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies
My lips purse, like a cat's arse that's brushed against nettles
Fake call centre scam mastermind Sagar Thakkar 'Shaggy' arrested in Mumbai, defiantly declares "it wasn't me"
doing a google image search for "Ned Flanders dikplay"
doing a google image search for "Ned Flanders cosplay"
keep fucking that chicken
Tony Orlando and Bloom
Bootros Bootros Gholo
Tony Orlando and Dawn and thrush
Tony Orlando and Dawn, we're gonna keep on truckin'
Pokemon Tony Orlando and Dawn
I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy are my mother's arms tired!
ROP Poochos
I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy are my fat wife's mother in law's arms tired!
Poochos died on the way back to her home planet
Poochos Honooblossom Goldof
Moko Howko, podracing champ
Roth Onglond, bounty hunter
Roth Onglond
Moko Howko
Jom Wost, dosporodo
wondering how much Diane slash Rebecca fanart there is
wondering how much Norm slash Carla fanart there is
jillin' Sam, Jem'hadar
jillin' Sam
jackin' REBECCA
oh yeeeaah, stroke that dong, long after the feel of the orgasm is gone
little ditty, 'bout jackin' Diane, twelve inch dickgirl, who needed a hand
jackin' Diane
Chopfyt
Kento takes up a surprising amount of floorspace
wondering how it is possible that Sisqo's costume from the Wild Wild West video is not in the Smithsonian's "Gayest Things of All Time" exhibit
having enough parts left over to make Brie Brie
your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's BOAC
making Alison Larson out of Brie Larson and Alison Brie and just selling the rest through a deli
remembering Dru Hill as a name but not remembering anything they released and having no idea that Sisqo wasn't just some prick with silver paint sprayed on his head who had a hit one time
West, Jim West, juggalo
As a teen, Mark Andrews worked at The Fudgery in Baltimore's Inner Harbor with Larry "Jazz" Anthony, James "Woody" Green, and Tamir "Nokio" Ruffin
West, Jim West, desperado
I'd love to see you pee on us tonight
Lodo Gogo
Benny Kaker
I'll wrap Myke Hawke in bandages, 'til it gets ridiculous
I'll wrap myself in bandages, 'til it gets ridiculous
because we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, and Pong is proof
wondering what it is like to be a male podcaster and know that at any given moment there are at least several million fat gay Asians masturbating to you
wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred gays masturbating to you
signed, Kento
wondering what it is like to be a male celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you
Honore de Balzac's La Comedie Humaine d'abeille
The Human Bee Movie
Ivar Boner, I hardly know 'er
bottoming for Ivar Boner in Red Raw VII
The entire F#R#I#E#N#D#S# theme song except every time they say be it cuts to the entire bee movie but every time they say bee it cuts to the entire F#R#I#E#N#D#S# theme song
Alfhild Gandolfsdatter
Ivar the Skinless
Ivar the Deboned
Ovor tho Ongono
Pokomon
Ovor tho Bonoloss
Ivar the Boneless
Sonoc
Sonic tho Hodgohog
Sopor Moroo Bros
signed, aging podcaster Chris Lydon
we're living in a simulation and I prong poofs
butt waggling
There are many jugglers who can issue fire from their mouths, bind and release themselves, and dance on twenty balls
a mash up of the theme from Terminator, the music from the first world of Super Mario Bros, and Mele Kalikimaka
projecting the core
rejecting the core
injecting the core
spoolor olorts
ojoctong tho coro
erecting the cejo
ejecting the core
being rolled over by a fat gay Asian
being jumped over by a fat gay Asian
being jumped over by a quick brown fox
jumping over a lazy dog
jumping over a full sized billiard table, a six foot high jump performed with ankles tied, and leaping over a horse XIII hands high
Thomas Neill Cream
the third wave of scat
the third wave of ska
we're living in a simulation and Pong is proof
The entire Bee Movie except every time they say bee it cuts to Worf saying MINSK
The entire Bee Movie except every time they say bee it cuts to Jared Fogle eating a six inch cold cut combo while masturbating to the Disney Channel
According to a forensic psychiatrist who testified for Fogle's defense team, a bee should not be able to fly
wanting to make Kento a Cuban sandwich for his birthday
According to a forensic psychiatrist who testified for Fogle's defense team, Fogle suffered from a compulsive eating disorder for several years before losing weight, and replaced food with a sense of "hypersexuality", which included a "mild case" of pedop
chowing down on a submarine sandwich
going down on a submarine
going down on an aging podcaster
going down on a sinking ship
signed, Kento Ikeda
I want it all, and I want it now
Anal's Cruises
Carnal Issues
Insular Cases
it's more likely that Walsh left because she couldn't stand the unpleasantness of working for a guy who refuses to wear pants
They came to work for the president but found themselves working for Donald Duck
They came to work for the president but found themselves working for Donald Trump
regrets about Vladimir Putin blowing a pony
depicting Vladimir Putin as a gay clown in the bathroom at church
even Barbra Streisand is going to get in on that one
depicting Vladimir Putin as a gay clown in England
A Russian Court Ruled You Can't Depict Vladimir Putin as a Gay Clown in Russia
I think on some level I always knew you were really from Guam
Today, the program is heard on more than DC stations in the US, Canada, Australia and Guam
listening to Coast to Coast AM every night for like five years in high school to college
getting into Welcome to Night Vale because a coworker hyped it up
Patricia Mae Andrzejewski
Lesotho snakes
Kento's asshole
the death of Dick Loners
the death of Don Rickles
first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Charizard with some paperwork for you to initial and sign and then it'll really be over
Pokemon for mediation and divorce
Pokemon for stag parties and hen nights
Pokemon for weddings and funerals
Pokemon Four Weddings and a Funeral
masturbating to Kento's sorehead pals
assuming John Hannah's gender
thinking of funny drinks is hard
plenish nutmilk pants
filing the heftiest owl
CELERIAC cat
robinsons fruit squash pants
ribena pants
vimto pants
innocent smoothie pants
um bongo pants
capri sun pants
parsnip cat
craps paint
panic traps
capri pants
You can lose your files and none of that is a heftier owl!
You can lose your life and none of that is worth a selfie!
pitting your children against one another in a fight club over international waters
pitting
being shanked at a rave by Ravi Shankar
shuking
shitting and puking at the same time
Kento's hellish anal measure
Kento's divine anal units
Kento's antediluvian sin
Nivea pulls 'white is purity' ad after outcry
flooding Kento's hole compartment
pulling mule
hauling ass
Reconstruction is also the name Chris Lydon gave to the period after the emancipation of Kento's ass
the least accurate slider would be eliminated from the game and choose a present from under a giant Christmas tree
bottoming for Ballsac Asriptov in I, Handjob Robot
the church and the steeple, the laundry on the hill
Spongebob's queer pants
Kento requires full rectal reconstruction after being Eiffel Towered
Bullfighter requires full rectal reconstruction after being gored
kinning that boy in Ithaca
kithing that boy in Ithaca
Pentagon Upgrades Mama June Threat Level From Revenge Body To Terror Body
then things got weird
Dean had really great tits until he took the dress off
she kind of looks like this guy Dean I used to live with
Girls on the Go! Mama June Lands with Honey Boo Boo in NYC to Show Off Svelte New Revenge Body
bottoming for Myke Hawke in Artillery Batteries VII
Meating J, juggalo
batteries in Myke Hawke
The United States has spoken enough about North Korea Hariyama semen in Myke Hawke
The United States has spoken enough about North Korea
Hariyama semen in Myke Hawke
Hariyama
semen in Myke Hawke
the way that the latest versions of Firefox get really sluggish if you leave them open for too long
blood in my stool
feces in my pot
urine in my kettle
zerg killing that dog in Ithaca
Joon Boptosto Omonool Zorg
killing that dog in Hungry Horse
zerg
killing that dog in Ithaca
converting power
they go great with a nice vegan ribeye with a Steaks Are High rub
being a little too attached to Tulip Reefers
being a little too attached to Fruit Peelers
Dwayne Douglas Johnson not knowing offhand when babies begin teating
Dwayne Douglas Johnson
not knowing offhand when babies begin teating
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the hoes he goes
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the garden hose
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the garden he goes
I had another one but he wasn't related by blood so when he divorced my aunt he became dead to me
I have a racist uncle too
tell your sister, you were right
you were right about us
except that it's completely the same thing
kind of wishing your last surviving grandparent had died or been institutionalised with dementia or something instead of spending most of your own life retired and bitching drunkenly about foreigners, who of course are not like his wife
being pretty miserable about what a shitty country you seem to be living in lately and the awful, low key racism of your uncle
turning off the web cam and microphone in your laptop and wondering firstly if you even remembered to disable them when you replaced the hard drive and secondly whether Windows just randomly enables them by default or whenever there's a major update
watching Moana on the airplane and wondering if it really was THE PAPER because it sounded more like WENTY TWON
watching Moana in smellovision and being sure that it really was The Rock because he reeked of fish
watching Moana on the airplane and wondering if it really was The Rock because it sounded more like Jack Black
henlo vigilante, helllo you TWISTED VIGILANTE, go take the law into your own hands ugly
I'm a vigilante, TWISTED vigilante
I'm a vigilante, I'm a Grammer vigilante
I'm a vigilante, I'm a grammar vigilante
Beauty Beating Off Boss Baby and Blowing the Beast Blows Up Box Office
yes I think I've seen this one before
blonde on blonde anus jig
When he was told by a friend that she was not working in a cafe the ground upon which he was walking was suddenly swept away from him
learning to play blonde anus jig
learning to play dueling banjos
Boss Baby Beats Beauty and the Beast at the Box Office
not knowing offhand when babies begin teething
with today's modern cars you can't get lost
solitary servants of a faceless crime
not being able to finish off anyone you've ever started
Twhaching off
nauseating Twitch terms of service
violating Twitch terms of service
Swedish berries
BISMUTHING a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
leading a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
kneading a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
needing a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Penis Tug Undies
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Genuine Stupids
Crocodile Studies would have been so much funnier
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Penguin Studies
it's fun to stay at the O U M A
Oiled Up Muslim Association Of New Brunswick
drawing a picture of Dennis Rodman licking peanut oil off of Kim Jong un's massive manboobs
hallucinating, chasing, changing, racing, breaking, hating till you lost it all
North Korea's premiere homoerotic channel
oiled up manbang
bottoming for Tim Allen in Homo Empire Men TV
imagining Tim Allen's Home Improvement slicked open parenthesis Tim Allen noise close parenthesis face looming over you
MARBLING Tim Allen
Twin Long Rods #Two meating Jewel's wife, then finishing off on Jewel's mom
meating Jewel's wife, then finishing off on Jewel's mom
oiled up manbearpig
we're off to see the wizard, the Dremel Wizard of Oz
wondering what kind of noises Tim Allen makes when he has sex
COWARDLY Tim Allen
slutty Tim Allen
slating Tim Allen
Pokemon Sluts and Cowards
Slut or Coward
Doctor Walrus
Doctor Who gets first openly Asian companion
Doctor Who gets first openly fat companion
ooh you make me live
Doctor who gets first openly gay companion
Doctor Who gets first openly gay companion
circumcising John Peel in the toilet
we initially wanted to get Pamela Anderson to play the Indian woman tied to the post but Streep's audition was just too damn good
naming your muscular gastropod the Guns of Abalone
Haley and Otis getting halitosis from eating Haliotis
Alien vs Custer
you had me at Tim Allen slated
Tim Allen slated to star in Custer's Revenge big screen treatment
Reece Shearsmith's Mum 'Rescued' A Sparrow
fistipeds
the one hundred and twenty eighth birthday of the Eiffel Tower
Tim Allen's ill advised Native American themed porno, Tim Allen Res Erection
Anderson was named most powerful Canadian in Hollywood in MMV, proving that she is a Sith Lord
Pamela Hyytiainen
Denny's Colon The Movie starring The Rock as Grand Slamwich
the Government of India honoured her with the Padma Shri, the fourth highest civilian award, and Time magazine named her one of the one hundred most influential people in the world, and now she's playing the villain in the Baywatch movie
The entire Baywatch movie except it is just replaced by footage of The Rock eating eight hundred and twenty three pounds of cod
it has The Rock in it because everything has The Rock in it
seeing a poster for the Baywatch remake and thinking it was either a joke or the porn parody, but no, it's genuine
The entire movie Barb Wire except Pamela Anderson is replaced with an actual fencepost wrapped in barbed wire
A Barbed Wire Massacre Match is a match where the ring ropes replaced are barbed wire and the weapons themselves are wrapped in barbed wire as well
it was quite enough
having seen Bee Movie, but only the version that doubles in speed every time they say bee
fissipeds
having never actually seen Bee Movie
"Crocodile" Dundee except every reference to crocodiles is now a reference to bees and every time Linda Kozlowski wears just underwear it slows down and when she wears no underwear it's pitch bent up an octave
monstrous pike
Pikemonstrous
monstrous
eating all three of the mango doughnuts
The US State Department and the White Ho us e are sending contradictory messages on Syria and should start leading and not foc us excl us ively on fighting Islamic State
Tim Alien Resurrection
Tim Alien
The Entire Fat Gay Asians VII but edited by Zach Braff so all the urolagnia happens off screen and every time anyone speaks they're dubbed with bee from the Bee Movie Trailer
The Entire Bee Movie except it is just Kento fellating Chris Lydon for ninety minutes
PYGMY GENITAL Rave Trailer, Eh
EVERYTHING Gameplay Trailer
making like an icecream truck and playing music to attract children then making them pay for a taste of what you got
According to all known bees of bees, there is no bee that a bee should be able to be
According to all known laws of pornography, there is no way that a walrus should be able to Eiffel Tower
making like a fat gay Asian and having a podcaster in front and a walrus in back
making like a pickup truck and having a redneck in front and a pig in back
isdmxinjail dot com
The entire Alien movie except the Alien is replaced by Tim Allen
Tim Allen vs Predator
"Missing Indonesian Man Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Python" is not news, "Missing Python Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Indonesian Man" is
Missing Indonesian Man Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Python
Overt Sex Organ Rick Perry has a cameo appearance in the film as himself
Tim Allen Colon Covenant
open parenthesis Tim Allen Noise close parenthesis
Tim Allen cubed
Tim Allens
Tim Allen
Texas Governor Rick Perry has a cameo appearance in the film as himself
he's the kid from the Lion King, Tim Allen noise
he's the kid from the Lion King, riiiight
wanting to make Kento like a fuck truck for his birthday
making like a fuck truck and rocking back and forth in an underpass
making like a fire truck and screaming as you overtake other drivers
fmk, JLH, SMG, JTT
making like a bread truck and hauling buns
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly
shtick
SNL Celebrity Jeopardy except Alex Trebek is replaced by Professor Oak
LICK THESE, OAK
hey guys, remember the titans
dismembering the titans
remembering the titans
LIKE HOTCAKES
selling those this
Reinvent Fit Ho Jewel
wondering how long it would take to get a couple million "My Dick Silences Nothing" t shirts printed up, because those this are going to sell like hotcakes
registering 'my dick silences nothing' as a trademark
registering 'my dick is ten inches long' as a trademark
With regards to the size of the bread and calling it a footlong, 'Subway Footlong' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length
Mexico City Starts Hand Job Apocalypse By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Sandwiches
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Busty Ass Awe
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Spokesman
Mexico City Causes Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
because of the implication
she liked it
that's messed up, you shouldn't hit on your cat
I had a cat like that
lots of people have seven fingers on their right hand, that doesn't prove anything
having never been in a year long relationship, unless you count awkwardly flirting with someone literally genetically close enough to be your daughter for the past few years
having never been in a year long relationship, unless you count awkwardly flirting with someone literally young enough to be your daughter for the past few years
sellabrayting you're won yere anniversery
Pentagon "reluctantly" agrees to nuclear strike on Toronto as part of one year inaugural anniversery celebration
I'm extremely reluctant to produce an improvised list of military vehicles that we might be held to
Scarbott Johandjjob Nine Thousand and One Says Necklace Of Ripped Off Dicks Was 'Grounding' During Power Surge
Scarlett Johansson Says Fellating Ugly Scottish Men Was 'Grounding' During Filming
Scarlett Johansson Says Nursing Her Daughter Was 'Grounding' During Filming
the importance of the Mises Hayek paradigm as an alternative to equilibrium economics by illustrating the unreal nature of equilibrium theorizing
what eats me, a wolf in a Tex Avery cartoon
something punishy but not crippling
kind of hoping Brexit just peters out after a few years, with obviously generational financial repercussions but also with a humiliating defeat for those that threw themselves into it as though it were ever a worthwhile hill to die on
Never mind the Bolloxit, Here's the Sexit!
A more appropriate front page for today's Daily Mail
Never mind Brexit, who won Dicksit!
getting all gusseted up
I'm really sorry about that, we really should have dealt with this by now
Never mind Brexit, who won Legsit!
getting all pussied ug
getting all gussied up
having no apatite for fission track dating
Pokemon hpt and sau
Kevins James inexplicably Heartland Poker Tour wife
pitching a movie where Kevin James inexplicably hpt wife is literally a character named Nora Lee and every time he introduces her to someone he's forced to sau "this is my wife, Nora Lee" and nobody quite believes him
Saltmen
Kovon Jomos, Sith Lord
divas can at least sing
Kevin James is such a diva
I can honestly say I'll take one for the team here and just let world go without one more Kevin James movie
so either you stitch me up in Padme's entrails or the deal is fucking off
I don't need your shit, I'm set to rake in fifty mil from The Zookeeper Two Colon Zookeep Harder
listen Kevin, you need to keep working, you're only going to grow less endearing as you age
I refuse
I was thinking we would just use some kind of prosthetic, or maybe make him wear one of those pingpong ball suits
you would first have to figure out how to encase Kevin James in Natalie Portman's bowels with just his lips protruding at the anus
that would make ten billion dollars
Transformers VI Colon Natalie Portman's Talking Rectum! starring KEVIN JAMES as the rectum and Kate Upton as his wife no really
hey, I wasn't judging, all you have to do is look to the mid two thousands "Morbidly Obese Stupid Man With Hot Wife" era of American primetime comedies
listen buddy, the way your president and his Russian pals have been carrying on at my expense lately I'm this close to getting the marines and torching Washington again, don't be making it worse ragging on panto
they love talking assholes in China, it's like ugly old men in drag for the British
you should have pitched it as a Transformers sequel
you know I pitched that and they said it'd never get made it'd never find an audience she'd never agree to it and I said you know Being John Malkovich got made it'll work and they said no, and now this
Step right up and see the AMAZING, the ASTONISHING, the ASTOUNDING, Natalie Portman's Talking Rectum!
typical vegan, always farting
Natalie Portman Colon "Paris Has Improved a Lot for Vegans"
no, this is Patrick
Spongebobbing Chris Lydon
sandblasting Chris Lydon
spongebathing Chris Lydon
The notion of the fantasy scenarios ending in popping or explosion is often a divisive topic in the community
Machine which TITS breasts grows as I walk
Krasnoludek
Skarbnik
IF MY DOCTOR HAD READ THE MEDICAL LITERATURE INSTEAD OF THE ADS I WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE THIS TODAY
Douglas Carswell quits UKIP, leaving party with no MPs
feeling that "Trumpflation" has been wasted on economics, even if it will eventually come around to being used to describe his egotistical statements and conflation of fact and fiction
perspiring milt
aspiring milt
not choosing the wagon life
Trumpflation
United Airlines bars teenage girls in leggings from flight
there is no watermelon here
finding a to do list from four and a half years ago instructing yourself to, among various mundane chores, "eat watermelon"
sploonwort
spleenwort
aspirating milt
not choosing the vagina life
drownong in Domo Mooro's pool
Pool Dovod Howson
Tho Odgo
Mochool Jockson's "Bod"
Mobo posong on Jopon
Moron Bochstonsongor
Murun Buchstansangur
always confusing young John Simm with Dominik Diamond
Londo McCortnoo, roguish cloud miner
drawing a picture of Pool McCortnoo sucking on Londo McCortnoo's thick grooso soosogo and pushing her plom tomotoos around with his fongors
you had to go and make it sexual
drawing a picture of Paul McCartney sucking on Linda McCartney's thick greasy penis and pushing her testicles around with his fingers
drawing a picture of Paul McCartney sucking on Linda McCartney's thick greasy sausage and pushing her plum tomatoes around with his fingers
Denmark has the world's highest per capita consumption of sausage
really being quite surprised to find a presumably monthly magazine about vegan life lasting more than twenty issues in the UK, which is as much as eighty percent meat
wondering if the publishers of Vogue magazine are planning on suing the publishers of Vegan Life magazine for their slogan "Bringing Vegan into Vogue" in England
Moby posing in the UK
not choosing the shalom life
fuck marry kill, a crab, a carrot, Oasis
something something War War something Jar Jar something Tim Allen noise
not choosing the vegan life
I derserve this I've been shellfish all my life
wondering how many Juggalos of the Smashed Crab are secret justices
wondering how many Justices of the Supreme Court are secret juggalos smashing crabs
wondering how many Justices of the Supreme Court are secret juggalos
smashing crabs
the crab in the Crabbing Game is a crab
kissing crabs
this kisses the crab
this kills the crab
this voids the warranty
drawing a picture of Princess Madeleine kneeling expectantly in a circle of Teletubbies while Steve Harwell services Noo Noo Violent J
I am an enthusiastic and hard working actress who specialises in musical theatre and Children's Theatre
drawing a picture of Princess Madeleine kneeling expectantly in a circle of Teletubbies while Steve Harwell services Noo Noo
Violent J
Watto's bizarre, striated, exogorthlike penis
the Toydarian penis, when fully uncoiled, has a length equal to roughly ten times body length
wondering who has more junk, Watto or Jar Jar
Khan Mistt, Mos Eisley junk dealer
Khan Mistt
Kirk Fogg
To not one of those Home Improvements does the land monopolist, as a land monopolist, contribute, and yet by every one of them the value of his land is enhanced, Tim Allen noise
To not one of those improvements does the land monopolist, as a land monopolist, contribute, and yet by every one of them the value of his land is enhanced
rough Beast wank
sssssssssS
soft Iceman jerk
minecraft jokes
sssssssss
heliocentric parent
falling into a pit of acid and dying
heliocopter parents
helicopter parents, but said in a sexy French accent
Farage claims dinosaurs killed off "by EU expansion"
helicopter penis
preteen rapist loch
helicopter parents
A dilly means it's a humdinger, it's special, not because it's close to something used by adults
Major shake up suggests dinosaurs may have 'UK origin'
WOODY STEAKS
taking advantage of liberalization of marijuana laws to launch your new pot infused range of marinades, The Steaks Are High
Woodiest Harreldad, gelfling
Woodiest Harreldad
Woodier Harrelson
being frankly kind of surprised that Han Solo is both still alive and still getting work
being frankly kind of surprised that Woody Harrelson is both still alive and still getting work
fuck marry kill, Princess Madeleine, Tinky Winky, Steve Harwell
something Princess Madeleine something something slathered in Tubby custard something eh oh!
seeing the headline "Woody Harrelson Just Dropped His Star Wars Character's Name" and being disappointed it wasn't Woody
Ten Boogers
Ten Goobers
eruvin
Green Boots
laughing as you hew a rough wooden dildo for Mary Chapin Carpenter
Franklin Delano Bluth
Suzanne Marie Sevakis
f FDR because I wanna try it with a paraplegic, m MLK because he would spend most of his time with white prostitutes anyway, k JFK, what else do I have to say
fmk, JFK, MLK, FDR
Ryanair passenger who 'grabbed flight attendant by the testicles' could lose his job
Doritos fan proposes to Doritos with Doritos roses, eh
Canucks fan proposes to boyfriend with Doritos roses, eh
a tshirt that says "I went to Venus and all I got was venereal disease"
getting Princess Madeleine drunk on sherry, then slathering in royal jelly, royal custard, and finally a thick and generous helping of your hand whipped rich cream
wondering how long you stay sucking after she has a breastgasm
wondering how long you stay streaming after being deliberately disabled
wondering how long you stay conscious after being depigmented
fauxnibalism
vegan man flesh
passing the Duchy of Cornwall on the left hand side
Police investigate smoke at London's 'Gherkin' building, not a security incident
professor xflesh
iceman flesh
maverick flesh
goose flesh
swan flesh
man flesh
drawing a picture of Zombie Kento dragging himself from his undoubtedly shallow grave howling "doooongs, doooongs" as he hungers for flesh
wondering how many sunflower seeds the urethra of Chris Lydon's bizzare, striated, earthwormlike penis can hold
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
wondering how long you stay conscious after being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
wondering how long you stay conscious after being depilated
wondering how long you stay fashion conscious after being decapitated
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated having a cardboard booty
Shortly afterwards the Welsh Assembly suspended its day's proceedings isn't it
wanting to make Kento a beatbox for his birthday
wondering how long you stay unconscious after being incapacitated
the Maestro's back with a beat box soundtrack
Star Wars except the Skywalkers are the Sandwalkers and Anakin doesn't like skies
I bought you drinks, I brought you flowers, I read you books and talked for hours
I can feel she return on the hoof
bottoming for Sand Diego in Bootini VII
DO NOT WANT
The kid called him Master Skywalker
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sand Diego
jacking it in Sand Diego University City High School
inserting three sunflower seeds into your urethra
rubbing one out in the bathroom at University City High School
alarming facial animations
San Diego high school student Matthew Burdette was purportedly kicked out of a class at University City High School for eating sunflower seeds and was subsequently secretly filmed masturbating in a bathroom stall
go eat a fly ugly
helllo you STINKY LIZARD
henlo lizer
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated
www cowboob hor
howbowbrowcow
cash me ousside howbow dah
also I genuinely haven't been paying attention and don't know anything about Naomi Scott, nor did I ever actually watch much Power Rangers
that's a trick question
fuck marry kill, Naomi Scott, Amy Jo Johnson, Kimberly Hart
drawing a picture of Naomi Scott and Amy Jo Johnson happily spit polishing a single large pink helmet with care
to where
drawing a picture of naked Naomi Scott and Amy Jo Johnson discussing who get to where which parts of the single Pink Power Ranger uniform they have
stopping Rita Repulsa from getting to the Krispy Kreme, if you know what I mean
Spiza americana
Rupicola peruvianus
having a crabby toad odor
the Power Rangers are protecting an item called the Spirit Crystal from the forces of Galvanax, the champion of the universe's most popular intergalactic game show, who wants the Crystal, which contains six magical Ninja Power Throwing Stars, to become in
banging a Tim Burton heroine far, far too early
banging a gong far, far too early
getting on far, far too early
getting off far, far too early
setting off far, far too early
switching a Nintendo Lick cartridge
licking a Nintendo Switch cartridge
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where my cock be at
Il Timpano from Big Night
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where Myke Hawke be at
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where my hip be at
there can be spiracles through which you breathe
you don't wanna see my hand where Myke Hawke be at
you don't wanna see my hand where my hip be at
carry on, carry on, as if bark bark arf bark grrrr
sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all, bow wow
mama, woof
I'm walkin' here, eh
crikey, cheerio
you know there's MykeHawkes there
the North American Technate
you know there's crocs there
Dracorex hogwartsia lived by the sea, and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hell Creek
Sesame Street's new Muppet who likes to take a dump on people's chests is part of the show's BIGGEST, FULLY FUNCTIONAL agenda
Sesame Street's new Muppet with autism is part of the show's bigger, empathic agenda
Little Children, Big Colons Incarceration Challenges
Dracorex hogwartsia
not realising that the best way to get a British bird to drop her knickers is to do bottomlessly stupid things, crikey
An Australian teenager who was bitten by a crocodile when he jumped into a river in northern Queensland on a dare is now recovering in hospital and looking forward to a date with the British backpacker he was trying to impress
Little Children, Big Challenges Colon Incarceration
Big Bird Joins Anti Vaccine Campaign
Sesame Street's New Muppet Has Autism
throbbing your ground with a standing erection
standing your ground with a throbbing erection
Man shoots himself in the penis and blames it on 'a black guy'
playing on Son Joe's boobs
laying Spoon Jeno's boobs
spooning Jay Leno's boobs
boobs are in this season
Jay Leno discusses boobs in his smut news, eh
Jay Leno discusses the mob in show business
Oxpeckers do eat ticks, but often the ticks have already fed on the ungulate host and no statistically significant link has been shown between oxpecker presence and reduced ectoparasite load
cruropatagia
Clothes made by a homosexual male So even when you say you are straight It is very hard to tell
the all uppity ollar
the all ighty ollar
'Down with the Sickness' by Disturbed is never a good karaoke choice
we all want that
Lost Boys Colon The Thirst
I want him to die is basically what I'm saying
wanting to give Kento a Brazilian butt lift for his birthday
My cousin works in a phone shop, I got these hoes from him, Apparently he seems from a distance on a sandwich so, but it's just a case for my iPhone
Another DICKGIRL dies from TUPI butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
#tostigate
Another DICKGIRL dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at Miami clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt lift at Miami clinic
Tho block mogpoo, Plotosmoros loocoptoros, os o troopoo, ot os noothor o mogpoo nor, os wos long boloovod, o joo
Onlo tho Lonolo
onnooong
annyeong
Anly
the opening shit of every episode is a dog's ass
the opening shot of every episode is a kid's donkey
watching old videos of PAPERY Morton in his Lanugo days
the opening shot of every episode is a dog's ass
watching old videos of Rocky Morton in his Lanugo days
only the turtledove was left, and it had been paying no attention, but singing "Left bank two"
only the turtledove was left, and it had been paying no attention, but singing "Take two"
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, Ray Parker jr
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, Ray Jay Johnson jr
black magpies matter
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, a jay
eating that full thing of licorice allsorts and going into hyperglycemic shock in bed
knowing that there is a full bag of licorice allsorts in your car and being super tempted to get out of bed, get them, and come back to bed and eat them for breakfast, because who needs low blood pressure or a pancreas
eating that whole thing of Despair Races and puking in bed
Despair Races
Rape Sidecars
Space Raiders
bunions
bunyips
lanugo
knowing that the bathroom was a mess and your friend had never been over before and so excusing yourself to go clean up with the line "I've just got to go and make sure all the cameras are on in there"
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the cameras in the bathroom trope
chucking berries at Chuck Berry
Chrostono Ono
Chock Borro
bottoming for Christine Anu in Anu's Party
tricking a Torres Straight Islander into dating another Torres Straight Islander
once joking with a friend about "the cameras in the bathroom" and never quite being sure that they understood or believed that you were joking
Berry was hit with a class action lawsuit from multiple women accusing Berry of making videotapes while they were "undressing and using bathrooms on his property"
If I'd known you'd be famous, I'd have preserved your appendix in alcohol
the death of that great new sound Marvin Berry discovered
the cry of Darth Chub, eek
the death of Buck Cherry
the death of Chuck Berry
Pokomon Googlo ond Bong
Blumpkin on Bicoid Dude's nipple
NIDOKING on Bicoid Dude's nipple
sucking on Bicoid Dude's nipple
drawing a picture of a squirming, bubbling pile of poop sucking on Bicoid Dude's nipple
Pokemon Poop and Gas
Damn Daniel International Airport
Bocood Bobo, Twi'lek stripper
Orlo
Orly
that the fifth Google result for "Bocood Bobo" is "Bocood Bobo's ossholo foontoon"
something something scanties
ELLIE JACKSON SOLO PROJECT says the man who was not identified, earlier shot a police officer at a traffic stop before stealing the woman's car at gunpoint
Le Roux says the man who was not identified, earlier shot a police officer at a traffic stop before stealing the woman's car at gunpoint
A man was electrocuted as he charged his mobile phone while in the bath spooning Jewel's rostral ventral region
Celebrities with Steve Buscemi eyes
A man was electrocuted as he charged his mobile phone while in the bath
spooning Jewel's rostral ventral region
et Ananus tu, Brutus
Jesus etin Ananus
wanting to make Kento a Grand Slamwich for his birthday, they're very popular
Jesus ben Ananus
ol bondodo gonoroso
eel bandido generoso
el bandido generoso
The Smell Feces
Tho Konks
eating all those jaffa cakes
e is a good vowel
sho's os swoot os Topolo Honoo
wishing a happy St Patrick's Day to Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
YOU MOM is a vowol
e is a vowel
mokos
Boston mokes mo fool good
Shonoo Twoon
Whotnoo Hooston
Bobbo Brown
Roo Porkor, jr
thos os tho bost thong oll ooor
this is the best thing all year
bongong o Tom Borton horoono
Psoodonom
docomont
rochol
Ogont Fofto Sovon
Bocood Bobo
Tobotho
generally if your boobs are completely on show the dress is back to front
dresses where you can't tell the front from the back
CPU song
A trip to the most beautiful gallery in London, Tate Modern, with the most beautiful movie star in Britain, Gillian Anderson
it's still better than having him sucking on your left one until you have a breastgasm
holding your infant nephew and having him stealthily vomit on your chest
Bol Bov Dovoo
pottong o ropo bonono on ooor oor
bononos
ooborgonos
ovocodoos
thos os fon
tho Ocodomo Owords
Kento Colon Skullfuck Ikedisla
stovoOVON
shootong Jockson C Fronk on tho ooo woth o pollot gon whon ooo woro o kod
Ollo Jockson
Dockgorl Rochol Stovons
Chrostono Ogooloro
Brotnoo Spoors
Pool McCortnoo ond Wongs
Herpes with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking
Hoodon Chrostonson, troodon, tro dot
Hippies with pony sex lives, who need to be hairless for blowing
banging her left one until she had a gothic musical number
farcefucking Kento
This is a new kind of partnership for both of us but I'm very excited to be teaming with Two Trees, and for all the projects being in this space will allow me to create
Hippies with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking
trockong o strooght goo onto dotong onothor strooght goo
Borock Obomo, Outer Rim Smuggler
Tho Coroos Cons of Bonjomon Bottocks
Gory Mothorfockong Ook
Osh Kotchom
Borock Obomo
oor old froond foor ond yoo ond mo
Ooohh!!! Rool Monstors
Power Rangers Dickwad Force
Former Power Rangers Star Amy Jo Johnson Pleads Guilty to Being Acanthophiform
Kimberley death adders
a skinny tee that looks like Krumm from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters but his eyeballs are where your boobs go
CHOMPOGNO used CHOMP! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE! DRONKONG fainted!
dronkong chompogno oot of o chomp onos
Bostonian rooting snakes
Mexican burrowing snakes
thot yoo'ro soddonlo voro ontorostod on tho orogon of tho chompogno oot of o shoo tropo
Clayfacefucking Kento
rocoploy
Clawface
Clayface
rapeclay
raceplay
prison japes
Give Ricardo Medina Jr a Sloppy, Drunken BJ While His Roommate Slowly Bleeds Out From a Gut Wound!
Asian pipe snakes, if you know what I mean
Asian pipe snakes
starting an argument with "your girlfriend can't park for shit and your career peaked playing the Red Lion Wild Force Ranger on Power Rangers Wild Force, dickwad"
Former Power Rangers Star Ricardo Medina Jr Pleads Guilty to Killing Roommate with Sword
Teen Finds Seven Point Four Four Carat Diamond in Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park
burning it's a me, MARIO board
burning a Luigi board
Jodo Knwght, Jedi Knight
Apes I see, including chimpan A to chimpanzee, have finally made a monkey, yes they've finally made a monkey, yes they've finally made a monkey out of me
F#R#O#O#N#D#S, O'll chon yo
fwcwfwckwng Kwntw, lwwk yww nww
replacing all vowels with w
Focofockong Konto, Jodo Knoght
focofockong Konto
replacing all vowels with o
Twitter accounts, including Amnesty International, Unicef USA and BBC North America, have been hacked by attackers claiming to back Turkey's government, sieg heil, cheerio, I'm walkin' here, eh, gobble gobble
The male has a clear whistle, whereas the female has a feeble quack
Gummie Garry Gary Beers Bears
Garry Gary Beers
a major indicator of INXS skeletons, crikey
a major indicator of INXS skeletons, cheerio
SONNYio
cherio
a major indicator of sex with skeletons, cherio
a major indicator of sex in skeletons
oh, hello, you're looking at my boobies
#NotTheBees
lending your cheerios to a dishonest beekeeper
#BringBacktheBees
these children that you piss on
these children that you spit on
Jim Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting
Jim Crocodile Rock
Jim Crocodile Cook
David FEMALE DEERS
latrine dot nu
urinal dot net
what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry
Streisand v Adelman et al
David DOES
procuring a child for pornography
No man can hide from his fears, as they are a part of him, they will always know where he is hiding
Powder, it darn near killed 'er!
lying about the symmetry of your breasts
a film about three boys terrorized by circus clowns lying about the size of your income
a film about three boys terrorized by circus clowns
lying about the size of your income
Fred Rogers began his television career as a result of his being convicted of child molestation, one condition of his sentence was that he fulfill a community service obligation by performing a television show for children on a local public station
I am hardly a suing person, and yet that just got my goat
David TRIPLE DOUBLE DEES
David DOUBLE DEES
David Dees
GRAND ADMIRAL, EIGHT others charged with corruption in new 'ASIAN SHELDON' indictment
Admiral, seven others charged with corruption in new 'Fat Leonard' indictment
President Dwight Eisenhower expressing astonishment and alarm on discovering that fully half of all Americans have below average intelligence
Gandalf the Grey, being probed by Galadriel, is caught on video pulling down Weathertop
being an amazon
playing the drag race card
Planned Bearentwood
having asymmetrical hands
having asymmetrical breasts
being on the Wikipedia Arbitration Committee but not being granted Admin privileges
it's not a Wikipedia article the Jedi would edit
reading the wikipedia article about the hierarchy of Star Wars canon, holy shit who the fuck cares that much
fuck marry kill, liberte, illegalite, fraternite
listen, nine months from now that's going to be high comedy
bottoming for Chris Rear in Piledrivin' Homos for Chris' Mass VII
liberte, illegalite, fraternite
drawing a picture of da bears doin deed, da bears
they do indeed
Cutting Planned Bearenthood Funding Would Lead to More Bears, Bears Growl
Cutting US Forest Service Funding Would Lead to Less Bear Shitting, Report Says
Cutting Planned Parenthood Funding Would Lead to More Unplanned Births, Report Says
Guzzlord
The Minority Report except the precogs are the Kaiser Chiefs and all they ever predict is riots
Ezekiel Elliott, being probed by NFL, is caught on video pulling down woman's top
ironically, the GTO tariff reform bill was repeatedly pushed out of the debating schedule, first by the Separatist Crisis, and then by war business
that T Canon story which explained that the Trade Federation had severe supply side problems and couldn't in fact get any product they desired because of the GTO tariff system
playing a thief in Dungeons & Dragons with Jewel
Brett, Alex, and Pattie enter a cross country race as cover while escorting a girl named Paula to court so that she can testify against a jewel thief called "The Dragon"
Teen to Rub
Turbo Teen
Cars that turn into robots, etcetera
Microwaves that turn into cameras, etcetera
It is illegal to take explicit photographs of the Eiffel Tower at night without permission
It is illegal to take photographs of the Eiffel Tower at night without explicit permission
making it with a Yeoman Warder Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary in Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London
making it with a Secret Service dope in a suit
makes the Secret Service look like dopes in suits
The Yeomen Warders of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary
it's set in radios, eh
it's set in Rhodesia
'Babe Orgy Night' Prequel 'Holy Dungeons' Picked Up Straight to Series at CBS
it's set in Zimbabwe
'Big Bang Theory' Prequel 'Young Sheldon' Picked Up Straight to Series at CBS
heroes never give in to the night
HARVARD tokens
Yale tokens
jail tokens
Latin jokes
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Via Call Wang
surfacing
lifting me in a vulva pee, woof
lifting me up in a wave of love
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Galvanic Awl
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Vaginal Claw
AND IF
or not
making it with a nice Jewish girl in a GTA Spano
making it with a clubfooted girl in a Yugo
making it with a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
Dorothy L Sayers' Civilisation
divorcing HARVARD
divorcing Yale
making it with a Yale divorced podcaster in your rear
making it with a hale divorced girl in the rear
personally I'd love that
We can't restore our civilization with somebody else's puppies
We can't restore Sid Meier's Civilization without a valid product key
We can't restore our civilization with somebody else's babies
I know we cannot stay
learning that the guy who lumbered around in the Darth Vader costume in Swan Rear Colon a Goose Rut Story got nominated for Best Villain at the Twenty Seventeen Kids Choice Awards but lost to a black guy voicing a character named Snowball
Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman Recreate Space Jam
maybe together we can get somewhere
RIP Arse Kin too
Kim Jong un's long lost half brother, Arse Kin too
e v e r y d a y
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Arse Kin Too
well, I've fucked that up royally, haven't I
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Kento Kin Too
buying an iPod Nano in Minneapolis
sucking sufferotash
bottoming for Zach Braff in Fuckboy VII
A person who is a weak ass pussy that ain't bout shit
a scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly who is also known as a fuccboi
Wittgenstein's monster
suggesting something more like Wittgensteinian family resemblance
suffering succotash
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Kia Sorento
friending your daughter's fuckboy
but apparently you hate that
totally being fine with being racist against chalk miners
finding it hilarious that there even are chalk miners left in the US in this century, but kind of not being surprised someone who would take a chalk mining job would marry Mama June
"I've always seen myself as being a smaller person," she adds
that of all the possible things for the next Truther movment to be built around, you would have picked "Honey Boo Boo's mom isn't really fat" last
Mama June Shannon is setting the record straight about rumors that she wore a fat suit before her show Mama June Colon From Not to Hot premiered earlier this year
regrets about your daughter's boyfriend blowing
tricking a straight guy into dating your daughter's boyfriend
sex humping your daughter's boyfriend
kind of loving your daughter's boyfriend, that magnificent bastard
circumcising your daughter's boyfriend
fucking your daughter's boyfriend
marrying your daughter's boyfriend
killing your daughter's boyfriend
thrilling your daughter's boyfriend
holding your daughter's boyfriend
kissing your daughter's boyfriend
eating your daughter's boyfriend
being your daughter's boyfriend
meeting your daughter's boyfriend
SEX HUMP files for bankruptcy
Gender Mountain files for bankruptcy
Gander Mountain files for bankruptcy
Two people critically ill after drinking tactile borax, eh
Two people critically ill after drinking toxic herbal tea, barely touching each other
Two people critically ill after drinking toxic herbal tea
cutting off your wife to spite your penis
cutting off your penis to spite your wife
cutting off your nose to spite your face
Woman chops off husband's penis after he 'refuses to have sex with her'
What you need is a good diet, you're pissing the money down the toilet for no benefit
getting a ride home in Rob Lowe's sweet chariot
Twin Riker Rods #One
Twin Ron Rods #Two
The health watchdog is investigating claims staff at a care firm have been selling sex chats while topless from their office
Pokemon Public Shaming and Sadistic Voyeurism
drawing a picture of Nancy Reagan being Eiffel Towered by Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett while Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ronnie Wood wait their turn and Ronald Reagan watches from a tree and masturbates
killing the Canada geese
or else it gets the hose again
It has debated whether to install an audio box that plays the sound of a strangled goose for three minutes every hour
VANILLA ICE Ice VII
Ice VII
Twin Long Ronnies #Two
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ronnie O'Sullivan in The Two Ronnies O'Sullivan
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan in Two Fisted Snookering VII
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Turgid Knobs, Wicked Pissah VII
Horny Walrus Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Boding Turks Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Turgid Knobs Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
something something Donald Trump something Baron Greenback something fresh scandal
Drunk Bigots Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Gay Veterans Group Now Allowed to March in Boston St Patrick's Day Parade, faith and buggerin'
too much lying and too much Russia and too much smoke
Ms Monroe sued the writer over two war memorial tweets she said caused "serious harm" to her reputation
watching youtube videos of incredibly drunk people and at first thinking it was one of those FAIL LOL things but it turned out to be a depressing combination of public shaming and sadistic voyeurism
Pikemen
I wanna be the best, wakka wakka wakka wakka
winning the South African Pikimin Championship by eating all four ghosts
PIKIMIN
Pikemin
Pikemon Gross and Pitts
A Rating Anal Sodomy
he was the centerfold every day for three years
he already has a lifetime subscription
first they were walking like Egyptians and now they're pirates wanting to get Kento a subscription to Anal Organism Today for his birthday
first they were walking like Egyptians and now they're pirates
wanting to get Kento a subscription to Anal Organism Today for his birthday
Chewidden Thursday
Anal Organism Today
Liar Liar except Jim Carrey is on fire the whole time
Movable December observances
The idea was for participants throughout the world to have an orgasm during this one day while thinking about peace
A Judge Who Asked Alleged Rape Victim Why She Hadn't Kept Her Knees Together Has Resigned
Informercials
Jonah Hill reading the Journal of the Whills
Bi Goat Kid Informercial
Big Hot Kid Infomercial
Medium Reddish Dog Infomercial
Big Red Dog Infomercial
Big Hot Dog Infomercial
before there would be blood everywhere
I didn't give it to the kids
it's like a sparrow's beak
QVC Caller on a Can Opener
Broadcaster criticized for drama title comparing local food to penis
he hurried into the bathroom where he tossed the battery in water, because that's what all the smart people do with lithium
Florida lawyer's pants catch fire during arson trial
banging a Tim Hortons heroine, eh
bog wood from the Krapina river
bog wood
a piece of that tip just got me
tiddy bear
a food in Japanese cuisine made from various marine animals that consists of small pieces of meat in a brown viscous paste of the animal's heavily salted, fermented viscera
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom except Short Round is replaced by Brent Spiner
SEMEN plus SEMEN is CLINTON
blood plus blood is gore
Varney the Vampire
manbee dot com
despite all my rage I am still killing Nicolas Cage
that killing Nicolas Cage won't bring back your goddamn honey
Every episode and movie of Star Trek Colon The Next Generation except Data is replaced by Data from The Goonies
bottoming for Josh Holin in Gang in You
bottoming for Josh Holin in The Bod Squad
bottoming for Josh Holin in Slow Bum
bottoming for Josh Holin in Cream
bottoming for Josh Holin in W Penetration
bottoming for Josh Holin in Jonah Sex
bottoming for Josh Holin in Gangrape Squad
bottoming for Josh Holin in Milt
bottoming for Josh Holin in The Do Me's
bottoming for Josh Holin in Three Black Men In
wondering what kind of movies Josh Holin makes, then thinkin' oh yeah
Bee Movie Trailer but everytime someone says bee Nicholas Cage screams something from Wickerman
swanbeefcurtains dot com
swanbeef dot com
To bridge the gap between 'talented writer', which you now are, and 'professional writer', which is yet to come, you need professional help
Pokemon Spongy and Luminescent
manbeef dot com
fuck marry kill, FDR, JFK, LBJ
Pokemon Knifings and Kneeings
Jennifer Love Hewitt's Breasts Disappear Before Our Eyes
Amid knifings and kneeings, kidnaping and murder, the meaty blonde Miss Blandish spent most of two hours in panties and bra
a fried chicken wing that really was found in a box of McDonald's Mighty Heads
a fried chicken head that really was found in a box of McDonald's Mighty Wings
destroying a picture of JFK blowing Fatworld Dickgirl Marilyn Monroe and taking steps to ensure he can never threaten America's security again
regrets about JFK blowing
wondering whether it's worth holding out for Billy Joel's acronym laden sequel to We Didn't Start The Fire in which he obsessively catalogs the high profile news of the last few decades or whether you're just out of touch and someone else does that now
rubbing one out in the compsognathus at work
finding Ross Geller having dinosaur sex in the cupboard at work
having dinosaur sex with Ross Geller in the cupboard at work
transpondsers
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off a compsognathus at work
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off in a compsognathus at work
wah pedals
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off in a cupboard at work
Pokemon Faith and Begorrah
the one where the girl at the copy place gets Eiffel Towered by Joey and Chandler
sneaking off to inconstantly bang Joey, forsooth
sneaking off to constantly bang Joey
I, Zach Assymoth
Sulimov dogs
these guys are from England and who gives a shit, faith and begorrah
these guys are from England and who gives a shit
goddamned up tempo records
constantly sneaking off to bang Banjo Kazooie
constantly sneaking off to Banjo Kazooie
Improsoned Inferno
constantly sneaking off to bang Joey
that if you fuck Kento the only option is to kill yourself
just thinking Rachel would get annoying after a while, what with constantly sneaking off to bang Joey
fuck Rachel, kill Emily, marry the girl at the copy place
fuck Kento, marry you, kill me
fuck marry kill, Rachel, Emily, the girl at the copy place
fuck marry kill, you, me, Kento
marry the police except for Sting, kill the mob, fuck them with kindness
fuck marry kill, the police, the mob, them with kindness
fuck marry kill, Jewel with poisonous breasts that lactate acid when she gets excited, Emma Watson but naked she's like a Barbie with no genitalia and weird articulation points, young Julie Newmar but you're a child and she's a pedophile who abuses you
fuck marry kill, fatworld Ellie Jackson, dickgirl Rachel Stevens, hirsute Emma Watson
Mr Oral Brick, heir to the Oral B fortune
fucking Mr Oral Brick because of the pig thing but being three inches in and thinking he's much less clever than he thinks he is
wondering if Gene Hunt is actually one of Kim Jong il's many magnificent bastard children
having impure thoughts about knockin' Stranger Things
Lord Strange de Knockin Things, I just met 'er
Lord Strange de Knockin
The Lord of the Rings but Frodo is a Freddo
realising that Juche has taken a hold of you and you have come to see Kim Jong il and Kim Jong un as the same Glorious Leader
you Eiffel bastard children of the revolution
wondering if Kento is actually one of Kim Jong il's many bastard children
I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot!
Opodeldoc
Bengay
Adam and Steve at Maid Marian's maid marryin'
Kento Ikeda's Intercourse with the Vampire
Kento was worried that there might be vampires in his colon because he'd wake up in the morning with blood around the outside, and also at dusk a swarm of bats would fly out looking for victims
it's oil of wintergreen
drawing a picture of Emma Watson rubbing oil on Myke Hawke
I'll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to Myke Hawke
After guest stints and roles in short lived television series, he won a co starring role in the action slash crime drama series Sex With A Teen in nineteenseventyfive
Bloodworth Thomason had planned for the show to be " a very sophisticated, grown up comedy, "and would "do for men what the women did for Designing Women"
BABE, I'VE GOT YOU BABE
Cher stated that TENEBROUS'S NAME MAY HAVE BEEN DERIVED FROM THE WORD "TENEBROUS," A WORD MEANING DARK, GLOOMY, OR OBSCURE
Vampire Colon The Gatorade
Darth Vampire Colon The Masquerade
Chee stated that Tenebrous's name may have been derived from the word "tenebrous," a word meaning dark, gloomy, or obscure
Darth Viagra
Darth Pubis
that most of the naked pictures of Emma Watson seem show very little pubic hair
the Viagra commercial but all the sound is replaced with the music of The Cure and it causes erectile dysfunction
The secret Jedi don't want you to know!
googling fur oil and coming to believe that Emma Watson must be covered head to toe in pubes
wondering if Darth Plagueis also discovered the cure for erectile dysfunction
I'll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to my pubic hair
wondering if Emperor Palpatine's power grows more unlimited when he gets turned on
wondering if Anakin Skywalker's hatred of sand grows larger when he gets turned on
Burt's Bees products but when you open them they spurt bees
Yarael Poof, Jedi Master
wondering if Padme Amidala's hair grows larger when she gets turned on
Yarael Poof
wondering if Ki Adi Mundi's head grows longer when he gets turned on
I agree but where are we going to find an animal with a large enough jaw
wanting to make Kento an amuse bouche for his birthday
The Bee Movie trailer but every time Cher tweets the volume increases lOO%
she also replaces the word "be" with a bee emote
she's pretty well positioned to know when a politician is dangerous
Cher's twitter is fucking amazing
U CAN FOOL ALL THE PPL SOME OF THE TIME,& SOME OF THE PPL ALL THE TIME,BUT YOU CANNOT FOOL ALL THE PPL ALL THE TIME
Meowth that's right!
Ladies also engage in anal sex with Cool James
eating that whole thing of vegan pad thai amidala and puking in bed
Even Piell
Plo Koon
Ke Nto Ikeda
Anthony Weiner Schnitzel
The Arduous Journey of I'keda on the Road to Eiffel Towering
The Arduous Journey of T'lana on the Road to Enlightenment
look in the tunk
wondering what happened to my burlap oil
wondering what happened to your lip balm
wondering if there will ever be a remake of The PAPER starring The PAPER
wondering if there will ever be a remake of The Rock starring The Rock
fuck marry kill, a Vulcan, a Klingon, a Romulan
Katherine Pulaski Day
Ki Adi Mundi
Casimir Pulaski Day
Ladies also engage in anal sex with men
Ba'el
Chalchaj'qmey
Your tits are so juicy, dude!
page sixteen
there ain't no rule says a dog can't play basketball
Crocodile penis eats fish
the Crocodile violently emerges from Kozlowski's grundies when she attempts to have sex with a fellow Dundee
Photos of naked mole rats reportedly shared on social media
Photos of naked leprechauns emerging from Marines reportedly shared on social media
Photos of naked female Marines reportedly shared on social media
wondering whether the abdominal pain you've been experiencing is a sign of Kentometriosis
Solomon Grundies, I hate Mondays
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP smeared on her clothing stealing Linda Kozlowski's grundies from the communal laundry room
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP smeared on her clothing
stealing Linda Kozlowski's grundies from the communal laundry room
"Chuzwozzer" Dundee
seriously starting to wonder whether Linda Kozlowski actually owned any underwear circa nineteenninety
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP written on her clothing
"Grundodoc" Crimea
''Crocodile'' Grundie
"Crocodile" Dundee II Colon Me Shiela's Gonna Walkabout In Her Grundies A Bit More I Reckon Fellas
"Crocodun" Diledee
#gaygabeD
#gdaygabe
A special message from Crocodile Dundee to Starlight Child Gabe Borealsuchus Twatt, I hardly know 'em!
A special message from Crocodile Dundee to Starlight Child Gabe
Borealsuchus Twatt, I hardly know 'em!
"BOREALOSUCHUS" TWATT
"GHARIAL" ABERDEEN
he's probably marching right now for the gay nazis or something
"Deluded" Coercion
"Crocodile" Dundee
nut butter makes me feel good
But here's a little secret that nut butter manufacturers don't want you to know colon In as little as fifteen minutes, you can turn a few handfuls of nuts into creamy, smooth, stick to the roof of your mouth goodness in your own kitchen
If you're a nut butter loving cyclist, you've probably heard of Justin's
I'm always on the hunt for interesting nut butters
Carolina teenager launches nut butter business
Soy nut butter recalled as six people are hospitalized with E coli
BREAKING NEWS! I just taught myself to play "All Star" on the euphonium!
by "in a way" not meaning "furiously masturbating" but "I have a soft spot for any movie that uses the music of Billy Swann to humorous effect"
actually kind of enjoying Thor in a way that you can't say held true for most of the other Marvel movies
well I can't see how it happened, those two were always so careful, they never took any chances
the charges against them were dismissed
I had the impression that those two were sort of under a cloud
the empirical evidence does not appear to agree with your assertion
I mean, Thor was a shitty movie but it wasn't the actor's fault
being shocked to learn in the end credits of Independence Day Colon Resurgence that Generic White Protagonist was played by a Hemworth because he was just so fucking boring and forgettable
being real suspicious of the Swiss cheese at the Franco residence
drawing a picture of Dave Franco balls deep in a wedge of brie
that Dave Franco is banging Alison Brie even though he is clearly the worst of the Francos and that's a low bar
pitching a The Last of Us style dystopian adventure in which Kento reproduces asexually with a cloud of spores
hearing from some Spanish guy that one of them has a potato for a penis
never remembering which Franco brother is which
excellent
I'm horny, horny horny horny
I'm happy, happy happy happy
banging a Tim Burton heroine in the bathroom in California
Sheik Tugboat, if you know what I mean
Sheik Tugboat
kind of love spoon blow, a magnificent bastard, boobs, a pony
pleasure torture kill, a machine, a pony, a shoe
drawing a picture of Kento marrying Chris Lydon, getting fucked by a walrus, then killing himself, in that order
finding Chris Lydon having walrus sex with Kento in your autofill cache
finding Chris Brown having dinosaur sex with agent fifty seven in your autofill cache
your phone being so old it tries to auto fill Brown after Chris
typoing 'happy' for 'horny'
that probably sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive but I mean it
there, normalised disturbing service has been restored, I hope you're happy
fuck marry kill, Santa Claus, a reindeer, a lost child on Christmas Eve
fuck marry kill, a walrus, Chris Lydon, Kento
YOU MOM is a Kento joke
that's a Kento joke
wondering whether a soldier who bleeds for Armenia is Armenstruating
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an Armenian Citizen to Insult Turkishness
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an Armenian Citizen to Fight Donald Trump
furry calk milk, Jenny , Sleigh Hero, Lewd Cunt
furry calk milk, Jewel, Chris Lydon, Gene Hunt
Gayball
Greyball
playing Furry, Calk, Milk with OJ Simpson
playing Fuck, Marry, Kill with OJ Simpson
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become a Mini Firth Cetecean to Zing Donald Trump
drawing a picture of Donald Trump peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Mike Pence takes a dump on his chest and Patrick Stewart screams "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"
drawing a picture of Donald Trump peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Mike Pence takes a dump on his chest
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Recreationally Shit on Donald Trump
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Fight Donald Trump Because Things Seem to be Going Pretty Well Over There at the Moment
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Fight Donald Trump
Idiospermum australiense
attempting to order actual gits from Github
attempting to order actual Russian spies with adamantium claws from GRUbub
attempting to order actual grubs from Grubhub
fuck marry kill, Earthlink, a pony, the California girls
Burton's legless lizard
fuck marry kill, Tim Burton, Richard Burton, LeVar Burton
fuck marry kill, Winona Ryder, Ariel Winter, Jewel
fuck marry kill, Garfield, Bob Geldof, the Bangles
chasing salmon with Salmon Chase
fuck marry kill, James A Garfield, Andrew Garfield, Garfield
INFERRING ARTHUR'S GOOSE
assuming Garfield's gander
assuming Garfield's gender
Game of Bel Air
Men in Black Mirror
Stranger Men in Black
Wild Wild Westworld
Casey Anthony was "more than likely" the person who used too much chloroform that killed her two year old daughter
snaking the drain, if you know what I mean
snaking the drain on a plane
snaking the drain
that dude's been selling Tony under a corset
that dude's been selling candy on our street
link plz
The Empire Strikes Back but when Han says "never tell me the odds" every episode of Even Stevens and the Even Stevens Movie plays in order and every time they say "even" it speeds up and when they say "Stevens" it cuts to pictures of dickgirls
never tell me the QUEERS
never tell me the odds
be honest, what were the odds that you were ever going to know the passions of the flesh again anyway
Bee Movie trailer but everytime they say "bee" your heart hardens just a little bit more until you're a cold, dour creature that no longer knows the passions of the flesh or the flights of fancy
Bee Movie trailer but everytime they say "bee" the Cory In the House opening plays
a fictional country containing cultural elements of India, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan and very similar to Bolivia
Newt's first act as student president is to institute a "Chill Zone" where students can hang out
Batman's mouth suddenly wrenches open and his eyes dilate, going in opposite directions, which lasts a good second or two
temporarily believing Larry Craig was that fat comedian who died like last year, but then remembering that was Larry Sanders
misleading the Senate, that's a paddlin'
Misleading the Senate in sworn testimony about TWO own contacts with the Russians is a good way to go to jail
Misleading the Senate in sworn testimony about one own contacts with the Russians is a good way to go to jail
allison walks on sunshine
Open Faced Chicken Gordon Ramsey
it's basically open faced chicken cordon bleu
it's actually pretty good
having to look up Malibu chicken and concluding that it is meant to be eaten when you have drunk a lot of rum, hence the name
actually that's not fair, because I doubt that Trump University would ever teach the skills necessary to make sure you don't run out of the inventory for Malibu chicken
the Forbco Management School of Trump University
Forbco Management School
he said he'd come into you
he said he'd come to you
well, I'm down for it but you have to pay for half of my travel fare
that's a direct quote, that's what he wanted
Anal sex between two men in the missionary position
wondering how much it would cost to comission Seedfeeder to draw a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
An artist's impression of a woman drinking semen
Illustration of an oral cum shot, in which a man ejaculates onto a woman's tongue
to be fair, although she looks like she could drown, she does turn that frown upside down
Seedfeeder used this illustration to announce his retirement from Wikipedia
A depiction of a facial featuring a black man ejaculating onto a white woman prompted criticism, with some users claiming that the image was racist and promoted violence against women
Seedfeeder is a pseudonymous illustrator known for contributing sexually explicit drawings to Wikipedia
Darluniad o ferch yn perfformio anilingus ar ferch arall
'n vrou doen Anilingus by 'n ander vrou
Paglalarawan ng isang babae na dumidila sa butas ng puwit ng isa pang babae
una donna pratica l'anilingus ad un'altra
Eine Frau leckt den Anus einer anderen Frau
Depiction of a woman performing anilingus on another woman
once you Go Ikeda, you Kento Ikeda
The Black Whores of DC
The Back Doors of DC
The Rear Windows of DC
The Real Widows of DC
Beau Biden's Widow Hallie Biden Is Now Dating His Brother Hunter
The GD
The Real Housewives of Grapefruit Duchy
POMELO EMPIRE DEMIMONDAINE
GRAPEFRUIT DUCHY ESCORT
Orange County Whore
going crabbing in a bucket of smashed crabs
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in King of the Underwear
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Beat Off the Devil
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Daisy Chain Lightning
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Butthole Circus
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Key Party Largeo
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in To Shave and Shave Not
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Three on a Man
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in The Fat Asian Queen
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Assablanca
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in The Mantease Foreskin
Pokemon Dicks and Privates
Brock Thursday, Private Dick
Brock Thursday
Ash Wednesday
going round the twist
hockey player Tony Twist sued Todd McFarlane because he named a mobster character in Spawn after Twist
something something the Astor Place Riot something something Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway
a dispute between Edwin Forrest, one of the best known American actors of that time, and William Charles Macready, a similarly notable English actor, which largely revolved around which of them was better than the other at acting
fuck marry kill, the father, the son, the holy ghost
wankin' on the HOLY GHOST
wankin' on the FATHER
wankin' on the son
lookin' GAY at the sun
walkin' on the sun
coming to the conclusion that Aerosmith are the American Chas & Dave
jaunty rock ballads about the sexual abuse of a minor and a corresponding murder of the perpetrator
lookin' straight at the sun
bragging about CRUSHING CRIME
GOLDSHARKS
silverfish
he seized power in a bloodless coup, all smotherings
fuck marry kill, Mahatma Gandhi, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi
Gandharva sexual intercourse
Gandharva homicide
Gandharva marriage
looking for hosed anal, big big hosed anal
Amid the ensuing cacophony a group can be heard singing colon "He's got big hosed anal, eh
Amid the ensuing cacophony a group can be heard singing colon "He's got bagel on his head"
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, oy vey
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, cheerio
fea leads to ange, ange leads to hae
ange
shipping your pants with the trade federation
get to your ships
hate leads to suffering
ange leads to hate
fear leads to ange
fear is the path to the dark side
will I ever see you again
noooooooooooooo
wipe them out, all of them
I will sign no treaty, senator
this is a battle I do not think that we can win
I can only protect you, I can't fight a war for you
fear is my ally
ANAKIN!
our people are dying, senator, we must do something quickly
the innocent
you must contact me
the weak
the federation has gone too far
the strong
fear, fear attracts the fearful
he was meant to help you
the Force is unusually strong with him
he can help you
trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know
are you sure about this
he can see things before they happen
you believe it's this boy
you refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force
there is something else behind all this your highness, they will kill you if you stay
I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war
a communications disruption can mean only one thing, invasion
at last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, at last we will have revenge
the death of Jan Chapman
LALALAND used BAFFLE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Pokemon Warren Beatty
topping for Martika in Huge Preteen Crush VII
having impure thoughts about a preteen Martika
Warren Beatty standing center stage surrounded by milling crowds visibly dying for lack of direction his world suddenly inverted and his certainties all fled
He was just a small town stencil and she was a big city sharpie, but this summer you won't believe how easily they produce a precise replica in THE PIXAR MOVIE, starring JACK BLACK and DAKOTA JOHNSON with KEVIN JAMES, SAMUEL L JACKSON and MELISSA McCARTHY
completely forgetting Martika existed and that you had a huge preteen crush on her
guessing that at least half of the Bikini Cavegirl Dancers went on to have careers as XFL cheerleaders
falling down like a domino
painstakingly crafting a scene in which CGI and practical puppetry are combined to flawlessly recreate Laura Dern being informed by a keeper that the Triceratops has blue balls and needs a little hand while Sam Neill backs quietly into the bushes to watch
wondering what it's like to have "Bikini Cavegirl Dancer in a Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis music video" as the most prominent role on your CV
I think he'll get by
not being able to watch the official video of Wank the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Steven Spielberg
Jimmy Kallol
Jimmy Fimmen
not being able to watch the official video of Dinosaur Sex in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, agenty fiftyseven
finding out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are separatin' titties
not being able to watch the official video of Walk the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis
Black Pepper's Ghost
finding out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are separate entities
biting into what you thought was a toasted sesame seed but it was actually just a huge piece of black pepper
he's still a virgin in respect to females
signed, Christopher Lydon
he wishes
extra virgin Kento Ikeda
extra virgin Olive Oyl
extra virgin olive oil
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to piledrive no D wrecked colon for the rest of the day
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to drive no D wrecked colon for the rest of the day
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to drive no wrecked race car for the rest of the day
Dale Earnhardt Jr after Daytona D wreck colon 'I feel good'
calling in sick instead of doing TPS reports
glove in you is medical malpractice, making no fault damages payments is all I wanna do
when a girl changes from "I like big butts and I cannot lie" to "let's move in together" then she's old enough to abseil into the House of Lords
when a girl changes from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face" then she's old enough to give her heart away
Boba Fetish
ripping Myke Hawke off
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give Myke Hawke away
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give a warty hare, eh
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's too old to give her heart away, signed, Roman Polanski
for money
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give her heart away
bobby socks
bottoming for David Bummy in Underwear Pressure VII
photoshopping all those images of David Bowie with a huge arse for that David Bummy tumblr you never made
Santa Claus is comin' to
he knows that it's me they've been comin' to
life is a crab beret
SHARING A DRINK THEY CALL LONELINESS during the day
looking out for glasses, big big glasses
big lass savings
big lasses
big glasses
wondering at what point in time the word "fetish" morphed from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face"
if NOT urinating
if urinating
infuriating
racecheck helps athletes explore race locations, and organisers to list, manage and promote events in a unique way
briefly being angry that race checker dot com existed before your brain kicked in
wondering if there is a fetish among walruses where they get off watching their fat gay Asian partners have sex with blue whales
Actual Cuckolds Offended That Term Is Now A Right Wing Insult
another ruined friendship
joke
uhh
you don't know me
if you think that is less impressive you've obviously never raped an edgy cunt
that's somewhat less impressive
all of human history was simply the prelude to this moment
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'on edgy cunt rape'
that's literally the best thing anybody has ever done
oh my god i give up you win
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'on a prude cygnet'
drinking dairy free Plenish nutmilk alone during the day
that's an anagram and you can check it if you don't believe me
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'due to being totes fine yo'
Plenish Cleanse
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'due to pregnancy'
referring to Coppelia as a tick tock dick dock
Dairy Free Nutmilk
giggling like a schoolgirl at Plenish milk
trippin' your nut sack into a frenzy of shit play
drinking alone in Margaritaville
drinking alone in drag duty, eh
Pokemon Dikshit and Rami
sharing a nickname with H out of Steps
According to Dikshit and Rami, the estimation for the aniquity of Bhirrana is based on two calculations of charcoal samples
SEVEN of NINE hidden gold objects found in Scunthorpe
Star Wars Colon Scunthorpe
Four of five hidden gold objects found in Scunthorpe
sitting up awkwardly in bed and either sliding back down or holding your neck at a bad angle
reading the HYSTERICAL COWBOY story on IXGAG
not being sure that you've ever seen Hot Dog Ellipsis The Movie but feeling certain that it's the kind of crap you would have watched
Clem Pinchfacts
Camp Fistclench
being pretty sure Miley Cyrus never went to college
I'm guessing it didn't really happen
reading the Jolly Rancher story on Reddit
no, you've got it wrong, Dromedary Cops is the Tank for Nothing spinoff
that Smaug bitch
genuinely thinking Battlecreek had somehow morphed into Battle Creek, a dromedary about cops or whatever
Arn Colon The Knight Templar
that smug bitch
drawing a picture of Eleanor patting herself on the back
drawing a picture of Bill Skarsgard eating out Hayden Christensen for role of Henry
For II Years Hayden Christensen was attached to play the lead character of Henry, but role eventually went to Bill Skarsgard
that Battlecreek was actually released, holy shit, but there was no sign of Hayden Christensen
Former Oregon soldier colon From US Army to French Foreign Legion to prison
Mapping the Most Massive Overdensities Through Hydrogen
the author of several books dealing with specifics of Soviet espionage via the KGB and other agencies
Experts across the travel industry are warning that masses of trannies are being scared away from visiting the United States, and the loss of lick jobs could be devastating
Experts across the travel industry are warning that masses of tourists are being scared away from visiting the United States, and the loss of tourism jobs could be devastating
the name's Tank Engine, Thomas the Tank Engine, double O gauge, licensed to carry goods and passengers
ordained preteen boners
throwing your ass in the air and waving like you just don't care
having your face against the pillow
having your face against the wall
ghost riding can be dangerous and has resulted in between two and eight deaths in North America
ordained boners
the new episodes of Anal Gas Cat
that people use the phrase "back against the wall" to refer to a position with no easy way out, and admittedly it would best to be nowhere near the wall, but having your back against the wall is a lot better than having your face against the wall
ghost riding the whip
More than half of lesbians admit to abseiling into the House of Lords McGoldenshower
PREORDAINED boners
Holly Madison sues male enhancement pill manufacturer
the new episodes of Lasagna Cat
exorcising Ron's bra demon from the communal laundry room
Ron's bra demon
bottoming for Ron Bonerman in Fuck Marry Kill Slowed Down VII
Ron's doberman
that you should always eat random boners in pairs
random boners
that you should always eat balls in TRIOS
Kill from the Rose Bowl slowed down
Kiss from a Rose slowed down
Laboratory report confirms nerve agent, walrus semen found on Kim Jong nam's face, Malaysian police say
bicameral lesbiaslatures
More than half of lesbians admit to abseiling into the House of Lords, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge
More than half of lesbians admit to abseiling into the House of Lords
McGoldenshower
McBukkake
McGangbang
that's unsanitary
More than half of Londoners admit to dipping their wick in the office goods
lesbians abseiled into the House of Lords
They are almost killed by Santa on a Zamboni but are saved by Grandpa, who is actually the angel who originally defeated and sentenced Santa
Vienna State Opera opens its doors for the 'ball of balls'
drawing a picture of Elaine being Eiffel Towered by Jerry and NEWMAN!
Elaine on NEWMAN
Elaine on Seinfeld
XV Stars Reminisce About the Actors Who Used to Eat Them Out for Roles
your father's a yuge schlong
your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate's a putz
"they're going for our molten core, you've got four minutes to destroy the queen" sounding more like a threat of four more minutes of Independence Day Colon Whatever than a promise of exciting action finale
your father's a putz
the International Clean Orgy Squad
the International Legacy Squadron
The Regina Pats' Dawson Leedahl, shown in this file photo, scored the overtime winner Monday against the Bear Recliner Rapist
The Regina Pats' Dawson Leedahl, shown in this file photo, scored the overtime winner Monday against the Prince Albert Raiders
using the word "waffelunderbar'
the original Wolfenstein ThreeD but the Schutzstaffel all say 'STROOPWAFEL' when they spot the player and then try to give him stroopwafels
Krusty Gets Kancelled but everybody refers to the Red Hot Chili Peppers as the Red Hot Child Peeners
The entire striptease movie but every time they say strip it gets faster
the man in the the so fucking high castle
Richard Dreyfuss, naked and pregnant on the cover of Vanity Fair
more strippery
wondering what it would be like if Demi Moore got the role of Elaine on Seinfeld
Beers, Steers and Queers is an LP released by the Revolting Cocks in nineteenninety
XV Stars Reminisce About the Actors Who Used to Beat Them Out for Roles
Pokemon Steers and Queers
the very notion that you could yank the chain of an entire town of thirty five thousand people
yanking Prince Albert's chain
putting a ring on Gene Talia
fuck marry kill, Gene Hackman, Gene Hunt, Gene Talia
kind of fucking Gene Kill, that married bastard
cremedementhetrails
cremeanglaisetrails
cremebruleetrails
trying not to slather the bed with donkey sauce this time, double O seven
wanting to ship Kento's pants for his birthday
II Garbage II Trashy
wanting to drag some garbage from the trash and serve it in Kento's bun for his birthday
Drag Some Garbage From The Trash And Serve It In A Bun
Nancy Open Parenthesis with the Open Parenthesis Close Parenthesis
Kento Open Parenthesis with the Gaping Ass Close Parenthesis
Make Guy Fieri's Epic BBQ Brisket Sandwich
denying that he was a jolly good fellow
Nancy Open Parenthesis with the Laughing Face Close Parenthesis
the death of Leah Adler
Joonas Suotamo, Wookiee Wrangler
fuck marry kill, Boba the Bounty Hunter, Sith Chapman, and Jar Jar Binks's Twelve Inch Bobblehead
fuck marry kill, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, and Sheriff Clarke's Eighteen Inch Bobblehead
Joonas Suotamo
Pokemon Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, and Sheriff Clarke's Eighteen Inch Bobblehead
Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, and Sheriff Clarke's Eighteen Inch Bobblehead
Currently, the phrase 'Shit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of elderly celebrities and animals of rising tumescence
Putin even sent me a present, a beautiful present with a beautiful note
nanananananananana BAT PRICK
Currently, the phrase 'Bat Prick' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British ring rapists and secret cancers of Moonies
bottoming for Loo Brew in Hard Dark Wetback
Hard Dark Wetback performed extremely poorly during its limited run
Currently, the phrase 'Brit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British actors and actresses of rising prominence
fuck marry kill, the Rat Pack, the Brat Pack, the Frat Pack
wondering when we'll get a new Pack to succeed Packs Rat, Brat, and Frat, and what it will be called
Jane Witherspoon
The Dark Backward performed extremely poorly during its limited run
getting a raw blow from Rob Lowe
I did joke about giving better head as a result of WIZARDLY sexual abuse committed against me when I was a teen
I did joke about giving better head as a result of clerical sexual abuse committed against me when I was a teen
raw dogging Kento
Although Carroll accurately portrays the biological walrus's appetite for bivalve mollusks, oysters, primarily nearshore and intertidal inhabitants, in fact comprise an insignificant portion of its diet, even in captivity
The Hardest Walrus Pizzle Ever
The Hardest Logic Puzzle Ever
giving a walrus pansies on a date
giving a walrus show on a date
giving a donkey show on a date
making a snuff film on a date
im in ur tarp weeing on ur doodz
watching a donkey show on a date
I have become ur wee tarp
I have become true w rape
I have become pure water
danger, in every corner
something something Roman Polanski something Girl Scout S'mores something back porch
snuffing a date on a watch
tagalongs
watching a snuff film on a date
nonnae stupri nonna
not fucking a nun
fucking a nun
Man shit bed after spray painting on car and firing penis at officers
Man shot dead after spray painting on car and firing penis at officers
Man shot dead after spray painting penis on car and firing at officers
briefly wanting to see the new King Arthur movie even though you've seen like ten of those already and most of them honestly were more bad than good, because of a morbid curiosity about who Jude Law will personally spoon feed per his contractual rider
articulated chipmunks
wondering which of us is a smart, hot, Asian nun
fingered citrons really wanting some elm ass, eh
the oxpecker on the fat kento
the man in the high kento, the walrus in the low kento
the man in the high kento
high kento
some of them also pressed charges
even the citrons down voted him
wondering what Kento's rating on the amazing Sixty Nine Index is fingered citrons
wondering what Kento's rating on the amazing Sixty Nine Index is
fingered citrons
really wanting some elm ass, eh
really wanting some shemales
really wanting some tamales
Supreme Court overturns right to fetal penis fist
Men convicted in Quebec maple syrup theft should face fetal penis fist, Crown says
eating that swan flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like swan
Men convicted in Quebec maple syrup theft should face stiff, sexy penalties, Crown says
Men convicted in Quebec maple syrup theft should face stiff penalties, Crown says
being that chicken flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like chicken
eating that chicken flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like chicken
hashtag lickalewdcrab
hashtag clickalewdbra
hashtag weirdcallback
Kento Bustyfundamentes
Kento didn't start out with the world's bustiest asshole, he had to work up to it
almost typoing "busiest" instead of "biggest"
Kento didn't start out with the world's biggest asshole, he had to work up to it
I do know who that is
implying that your asshole is the same size as or larger than Kento's
that 'chocolate rain' was not the name of a tactic employed by Cao Cao during the Yellow Turban Rebellion
chocolate rain guy
I don't know who that is
that Tay Zonday is doing a live Q&A stream right now
being gifted rat fisting cocaine
being gifted fist rating cocaine
being gifted a gastric infection
Pokemon Pigeons and Dildos
the warlord Cao Cao waged war against Mr Slutty Brown Anal Teen, eh
the warlord Cao Cao waged war against the Yellow Turban remnants
'Tax The Swan Butts' Says Bill Geese
drying that bra over the dehumidifier
MOISTENING that bra in the clothes MOISTENER
drying that bra in the oldest cherry
drying that bra in the communal clothes dryer
drying that bra in the clothes dryer
trying not to get blackout drunk and shit yourself, double O seven
they totally misrepresented those very wonderful women, I have to tell you, totally misrepresented
'Tax The Robots' Says Bill Gates
cardboard swan butts
swan butts
swan buns
man buns, Tabitha
Tabitha Man Buns
not going all the way man buns
man buns not going all the way
man buns
you've lost me
wondering who Tabitha on regret two zero six eight was and how she found the index
the question is, can Salmon get inside Mainus
Boston Salmon Vs Danny 'My Anus' Mainus
drawing a picture of Borald Johump ad Blazing Homosex wrestling for pole position, with Blazing Homosex taking the come from behind victory with an explosive finish
Blazing Homosex, Podracing Champ
being followed into the bathroom by a guy named BLAZING HOMOSEX
wondering if all the pathetic farmboys and farmboy slash girls that used to hang around Tosche Station all gave each other lick jobs
probably from some guy's van
being pretty sure that you used to eat Junior Mints as a child but not knowing where the hell you would have got them from
joining the BLAZIN' SQUAD FAN club
Only confirmed bachelors have access to BLAZING HOMOSEX's Tweets and complete profile
joining the BLAZING HOMOSEX club
Only confirmed followers have access to BLAZING HOMOSEX's Tweets and complete profile
This account's Tweets are protected
being followed on twitter by a guy named BLAZING HOMOSEX
Kim Jong nam really looking like the Asian Ed "Sumo" Idle
bombogenesis
Kim Jong nam really looking like the Asian Dom Deluise
he's a screamer
that's usually the way it goes
fucking Ryan out loud
Yuge Svagina
Biggs Svagina
kissing me wont bring back your god damn CANDY GIRL
killing me wont bring back your god damn honey
wondering if all the pathetic farmboys and farmboy slash girls that used to hang around Tosche Station all gave themselves superfluously overblown surnames or if if was just Luke and his idiot friends
where they gets several lines of dialogue
Star Wars Colon Rogue Squadron Three Colon Rebel Strike
Luke Skywalker, Colon Detective
Luke Skywalker Colon Detective
Their character is expanded upon in the Star Wars radio drama, where they gets several lines of dialogue
Greedo become one with the living force, Mr Skywalker!
Geech gone to heaven, Mr Terwilliger!
Windy Starkiller
Biggs's S vagina
big gas savings
having to call off your hate crime because you couldn't get a ride
those crazy left wingers with their unconditional love for their neighbors and their lunatic notions of healing the sick and feeding the poor
How The Grinch Shipped My Pants
the Lord's plan is being put in place for America and these people are not only revolting against Trump, they're revolting against what God's plan is for America
the death of Burn a Dick
FBI agent Grant Lowe wrot
the death of Dick Bruna
Benjamin McDowell was arrested in Myrtle Beach shortly after buying the XXXX caliber Glock and ammunition for $CIX from the agent who picked him up at his mother's house, then took him to his grandfather's house to get the money, FBI agent Grant Lowe wrot
tell me more tell me more, did he go into shock, tell me more tell me more, did you deskin his cock
summer deglovin', happened so fast
Luigi Boccherini's older brother, Boccherini Boccherini
I just shipped my drawers
HNLMS Walrus
theobromine
my gland scraped a pipe
an astonishing repetitiveness, an affection for extended passages with fascinating textures but virtually no melodic line, an obsession with soft dynamics, a unique ear for sonority, and an unusually rich palette of introverted and mournful affects
A photo of security footage shows a suspect wearing a shirt with "LOL" on it in Sepang, Malaysia
I don't think there's ever been a president elected who in this short period of time has done what we've done
eating liver and eggplant with Rene Auberjonois
Penis Rapist Twenty Twenty
Pokemon Torn Penis and Porn Nut Rapist
wondering if Vice President Mike Pence knows his name is an anagram of Me Pink Erect Penis Device
Pokemon Trump and Toddler Penis
wondering if President Donald Trump knows his name is an anagram of Torn Penis Addled Trump
wondering if President Donald Trump knows his name is an anagram of Meddled Porn Nut Rapist
wondering if President Donald Trump knows his name is an anagram of Muddled Rape Porn Stint
gay moth runes
Rearward Thrawb, Chiss Grand Admiral
bottoming for Vice Admiral Rearward Throb in The Dreaded Rear Admiral VII
wondering if Robert Harward knows his name is an anagram of Rearward Throb
books, cards, lighters, none will stop a bullet
inferring a penny inferring a pound
HP Lovecroft turns down Trump's national security offer
Robert Harward turns down Trump's national security offer
trying to do the old "what's long and hard and filled with seamen" joke with Kento and just getting this blank stare before he eventually mumbled "Kento"
'Pugwash' was Australian slang for a form of oral sex
Ancient Human Ancestor Had Huge Mouth, No Anus
that the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were destroyed by an unconventional energy weapon that can be directed and thus is referred to as a form of what are called "directed energy weapons"
the x is like an asterisk to remind you that it's not a real TED talk, just some guy with an axe to grind they found at the bus station
generally wondering what kind of person sits through a TEDx talk
a theory of those who find it hard to avoid their taxes, who are too small, incompetent or insufficiently connected to win Iraq reconstruction contracts, or otherwise chow at the state trough
the Chicago Boys
Operation Atlantis
Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozoj
the Republic of Minerva
feeling like there's a TEDcruz talk to be given about all those people at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
Morsey Dick
Walrus Dick
if his chest had been a Blastoise, he would have shot his Mega Launcher upon it, and it would have been super effective
even though his biggest life accomplishment is catching all the pokeymons
wondering what kind of person would be willing to sit through eighteen minutes of talking about some socially retarded freeter virgin who is so stupid he still thinks that he's in the top one percent most intelligent people on the planet
Concombaffe
feeling like there's a TEDXXX talk to be given about all this Kento crap we pulled
feeling like there's a TEDx talk to be given about all this Kento crap we pulled
DAS KAPITAL hog peckers
CAPITAL hog peckers
top hog peckers
gecko prophets
secret pocket gophers
Cassius in the house
c'mon baby, c'mon sugar, c'mon honey
pocket gophers
High Cholesterol Buttered Women
High Class Buttered Women
know challenge is to grate
no dream is too big, no challenge is to great
High Class Battered Women
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges ass to ass sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges end to end sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges child to child sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges child to end sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges end to child sexual exploitation
pretty much all of them
you'd better get ready for a long wait, there are a LOT of ugly lumpy Scottish guys she hasn't banged yet
it's basically an excuse to try and get in line for Scarlett Johansson
I'd watch that
pitching a supernatural comedy in the Joe Dante tradition about a group of Cornish mine spirits who find themselves inhabiting a Washington DC Hootersesque establishment, Capitol Knockers
a female addition to the Sweathogs introduced mostly as eye candy
having your cervix pummeled by Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks
As a background actor, Terrio received no credit
He alleged that his publicity rights were violated by the gecko and figurine
Don't Watch Colon The Movie
don't watch the movie
that you still haven't watched the old X Files episodes, or the movie, except for maybe that season with the rapid ageing on a ship, and that one with beetles that shoot out of people's faces because they smoke, and some of that ridiculous ending episode
Corn on the Coblynau
fixing your loose stools with Julia's tools
scrubbing Jewel's bust
fixing your loose tiles with Julia Stiles
TRUMP'S FARTS
TRUMP'S PARTS
Weather pattern shaped like penis over Toowoomba
TRUMP SPORTS
poorly conceived sports leagues, professional wrestling, scantily clad women, NBC, and giving guys jobs they were clearly not qualified to have
wondering how it is possible that Donald Trump was not involved somehow in the XFL because it seems like the kind of shit he would be all over
Pokemon Knockers and Hooters
busting Jewel's scrubs
feeling pretty OK about referring to breasts as scrubs or busters
Pokemon Scrubs and Busters
wondering what the was that led breasts to be known as knockers or, for that matter, hooters, because they neither knock nor hoot
a Coblynau is a sprite who thinks he's fly and is also known as a knocker
Coblynau are mentioned in the Constantine episode "The Darkness Beneath", but the description of the creatures given is closer to knockers
Coblynau
not having seen the new Black Mirror but quite liking the old ones
that you still haven't watched the new X Files episodes
wondering whether you've seen Black Mirror and whether it's any good because I'm downloading it now
basically giving up on The OA after one episode
something something Scarlett Johansson something a lot of work something unnatural something multiple partners
Scarlett Johansson Reveals She Thinks Monogamy Is Not 'Natural' Colon 'It's a Lot of Work'
also, the main character's mom is the Borg Queen, case closed
it's like their big introductory scene and everything but they're both completely naked and before any words come out of her mouth he's cum inside her and is getting a noisy blowjob, which, you know, would be hot if they weren't pretending to be children
sex between two minors is disgusting, signed, Roman Polanski
trying to watch The OA but being wierded out by the extremely graphic simulated sex scene between two minors, and also the boring, shitty plot
wondering who the most famous person ever to have fucked a kid is and thinking it's probably Michael Jackson
wondering who the most famous person ever to have fucked a dog is and thinking it's probably Mao Zedong
he traded it for a Blowie
he didn't even get a medal
poor Chewie
he'll probably try and pin it on Chewie again
feeling like they really shouldn't issue pilot's licenses to stock characters
he always plays by his own rules
The FAA is investigating Harrison Ford after the actor reportedly landed a single engine aircraft on the wrong part of a Southern California airport, flying directly over an airliner that was preparing for takeoff
Mel Brooks spoofed the first three "Star Wars" movies in MCMLXXXVII with "Spaceballs," which starred Brooks, Bill Pullman, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Daphne Zuniga and Dick Van Patten
Star Wars Colon Episode I Colon The Phantom Menace but every time a B One Battledroid says Roger Roger it says Ridged For Your Pleasure instead
wololo
the death of Pang Xiong
Kim Jong Nam Fucking Shit
the death of Kim Jong Nam
Georgia homeowner caught having sex with landscaper's kid
Georgia landscaper caught having sex with homeowner's dog
Eragon, OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit, sitting on a low mound, is trying to take off his boot
a tree
a country road
waiting for qwantz dot com
having a weird "back in college" dream where you had a girlfriend, a bloo bloo bloo
the Long Shame Turbos
the Houston Gamblers
YouTube Cancels PewDiePie Show, Pulls Channel from Ad Program After His Death to All Jews Stunt
making like a banana and splitting and uploading the video to Pornhub
making like a banana and splitting
CAIMEO
being unable to believe it's not faceer
being unable to believe it's not butter
Joey Loves Chandlie
drawing a picture of Joey chandling a banger, cheerio
P Diddy claims to have insider information that bears 'shit in woods'
Moby claims to have insider information that Trump is in 'collusion with the Russian government'
lending your bee jokes to a dishonest Jerry Seinfeld
Acanthostega gunnari
II Seinfeld II Colon
going Seinfeld to Colon
Seinfeld II Colon A XXX Parody
Half the entire Bee Movie except ipso facto half not bee
The entire Bee Movie except every instance of the word bee is replaced by Michael Richards screaming nigger
The entire Bee Movie except whenever they say bee it cuts to Jerry Seinfeld getting a BJ
Seinfeld Colon A XXX Parody
Hold Thrill Kiss Kill Bill Volumes I and II
topping for David Carradine in Strangler Things VII
when the rain starts to fall
bottoming for Chandler Bang in I'll Pee There for You VII
The Bee Movie But It Puts The Lotion On Its Skin
like once
Stranger Things but every time someone asks "what kind of things" it cuts to the whole 'Cooking By The Book' song
Bangler Chan
Joey is also probably chandling Banger
Joey is also probably banging Chandler
everybody knows badger loves mashed potato and that Rachel and JOEY were the superior pairing, and that any reunion show would have to make it abundantly clear that they're at least banging even if she's still with Ross
'nother shout out to ROSS
'nother shout out to rachel
the Apega of Nabis
Margaret's English and Japanese names are a reference to Margaret Thatcher, who is also known as the Iron Lady
don't worry, you'll have another chance to make that joke in another million regrets or so
hey guys, remember eight eight eight eight eight
writing "dipping a windsock in cement" instead of "seven eight nine ten, eleven twelve" as you had intended
GAUREPIDEMIC used BUFFALOPOX! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
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dude, MINOS SPERMARCHED himself
dude, MYCENAE MENSTRUATED himself
dude, Troy peed himself
GAUREPIDEMIC
BUFFALOPLAGUE
BUFFALOpox
cowpox
you probably shouldn't be blaming The Learning Channel
I'm sorry you have AIDS
chasing waterfalls even though you were SPECIFICALLY prohibited from doing so by TLC
berating Chick
berating Duck
berating Dick
beating Dick
after Dick loses a battle against the player
Firebreather Richard
gag reflex
President Lovelace would never be impeached, because she had no gag reflex
drawing a picture of President Lovelace being Freedom Eagle'd by Tim Duncan and a dirty old man
playing Dirty Old Man in Linda Lovelace for President with Tim Duncan
playing Dirty Old Man in Linda Lovelace for President
'Arry Copper
Hermione Granger, cop snogging porno penis
he wisely invested his money with a partnership in a chain of car washes, which brought him considerable financial success
bottoming for Chief O'Harder and Cuminsideya Gordon in Cop Snogging Porno Penis
not getting uncircumcised
I guess I was just enamored with the concept of a cop snogging porno penis'
shit, I screwed that one up
Purdue Technology students build cop snogging porno penis
Purdue Technology students build supersonic HERMIONE GRANGER gun
Purdue Technology students build supersonic ping pong gun
the death cum in a rape vial
the death of Raymond Smullyan
such cow cum in a rape vial
CUBOID BUFFALO in a DRYER
could you exhibit them at the circus like two ornamental turkeys, do your ears hang low
spherical cows in a vacuum
regrets about brony blowing
regrets aboot lop bunny wig
regrets about bony plowing
Golf Magazine Colon Thirty Six Great Holes Starring Fred Couples
Edible Anus Dark Milk White Belgian Chocolate Gift Box
faceon, faceoff
The Curious Case of Benjamin Faceon
Five Butts of Darkness
banging a minor heroine face
Hannibal, Murdock, BA, and Butt
Beavis and Face Head
Baby Butt Nelson
The Man Without a Butt
Butts of Death
ButtSlashOff
Scarbutt
I believe that it is going to be retconned into the Faceverse along with FaceSlashOff, Faces of Death, and Funny Face
now, I know what you're thinking about those other picks but hear me out here colon 'Bustytown colon The Movie', with the most terrifying antagonist of all
wondering whether Scarface will be part of Universal's Monsters shared universe or whether it will be part of a Scariverse featuring Scarface, Richard Scarry, and Scarlett Johansson
Quantum Rape
Romy and Michele's High School Reunion
tomme au marc de raisins
Hans Sprungfeld
getting sprung
Winona Ryder Is Pizza
Winona Ryder Eats Pizza
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider's butt
something something Galadriel something Hobbit pork something
it's not that hard being a film cricket
oiling pricks
oiling traps
oiling pecs
oiling pics
Woman bites off her boyfriend's spectacles after arguing with him when she returned late home from church
drawing a picture of Iceman and Madmartigan kissing each other and oiling up each other's pics while Fat Val Kilmer masturbates with one hand and shovels pork rinds into his mouth with the other
drawing a picture of Kento being beaten up by the Nelwyn
this guy was the limit
drawing a picture of Kento being beaten up by the Lollipop Guild
drawing a picture of Kento being beaten up by the Munchkins
I Wore Perfume Made From My Sharona to See if It Would Get Me Younger Dates
loquacious practition
precocious lactation
banging a minor heroine butt
Scottish Parliament 'vented firm wine shit'
Scottish Parliament 'infested with vermin'
I Wore Perfume Made From My Vagina to See if It Would Get Me Better Dates
Woman bites off her boyfriend's testicles after arguing with him when she returned late home from church
Han banged a Tim Burton heroine first
Myke Hawke for Your Senior Pictures
Myke Hawke for My Senior Pictures
Untitled Han Solo Only a Goth film
Jabba the Hutt Colon The Art of the Deal
Untitled Han Solo Anthology film
wondering what Belarussian thought that "Han shot first" deserved its own translated wikipedia page
Han filed for bankruptcy protection first
I SHALL always fire my proton pistol full blast to murder the Rodian bounty hunters sent to collect on my innumerable outstanding debts
I SHALL blast at full space speed to protect the Weak and Innocent
Rod Brown of the Rocket Rangers
finding it hard to believe that the star of Evil Toons has been gone almost a decade
bottoming for Kumagai and Fukaya in The Sixty Nine Stations of the Nakasendo
consuming Hard D's products
Hard D
The Sixty Nine Stations of the Nakasendo
Kill Bill but every time someone says Bill it plays David Carradine's choking noises
Kung Fu but every time someone says Kung Fu it's David Carradine's sex noises instead
Michael Hutchence provided the soundtrack
CHOKE David Carradine
RIP David Carradine
being kind of surprised there's no erotic asphyxiation porn parody called Strangler Things
pinniped needed
cetacean needed
going around putting open bracket citation needed closed bracket tags on every unsourced sentence on wikipedia
lightening boxes of brew with Bruce Boxleitner
Adele getting a Dell and getting laid in Adelaide
The Viability of Moral Dissent by the Pokemon
Easy D
The Viability of Moral Dissent by the Military
The XFL
Pokemon Disarming and Demilitarizing
Pokemon Disheartening and Demoralizing
the New Jersey life of macaroni rascals
rubbing her left one out until she had a breastgasm
Eric Henry Edward Tovey
William Fritz Afflis
Principal Kohoutek
my ass for my senior pictures
Pokemon Some Mentally Incompetent Individual With a Flair for Old Latin and The Wars of Antiquity
some mentally incompetent individual with a flair for old Latin and the wars of antiquity
Pokemon Knockers and Gazongas
the homeowner knew in his heart that he was a good person and a smart person and the kind of person who would never accidentally leave the stove on and drop a handtowel onto the burner
being frankly disappointed that there is no Extremely British slang term for breasts
Pokemon Tits, Arse, and Fanny
Important Big Bird Areas
office of the prime minister
knicker drawer
tits, arse and fanny
Important Bird Areas
like a punch on the dick of Mr Spock
like a pinch on the neck of Mr Spock
feeling like a potentially less effects heavy and more kid friendly X Man would be Miceman
Kenneth Bryan Raper Singer
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big senior penis behind my ass for my head pictures
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big head penis behind my ass for my senior pictures
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big ass penis behind my head for my senior pictures
caught us in our special time, Elvis
tisters
oygers
Asian oyster helicopters
Asian helicopter tigers
Asian helicopter moms
Asian oyster moms
Asian tiger moms
I should have learned to play them drums
I should have learned to play the guitar
Russia blocks regret site The amazing Regret Index over claims it is damaging to the 'cheap shy mun'
the kid was screaming pretty loud
The son of the founder of the Greggs bakery chain abused a boy after letting him drive his car, a court has heard
Battlestar Galactica Colon The Second Coming
Clifford the Big Red Raper
Red Raper was a pioneer in the study of fungal sexual genetics
Kenneth Bryan Raper
Asian oyster tigers
Russia blocks regret site The amazing Regret Index over claims it is damaging to the 'human psyche'
Jimmy Fallon, if you're reading this, feel free to use that joke
It's not the first time people at Penn State have turned their backs on a young person going down
Police Colon Penn State frat waited twelve hours to call paramedics after student's deadly fall
CHUMP STEAKS
Russia blocks porn site Brazzers over claims it is damaging to the 'chump hyenas'
Russia blocks porn site Brazzers over claims it is damaging to the 'human psyche'
Asian oyster mosquitoes
Asian tiger mosquitoes playin' with the boys in the bathroom at church
Asian oysters
Asian tiger mosquitoes
playin' with the boys in the bathroom at church
feeling like the popularity of the "alt right" is somehow your own fault for not taking Bubba Sparxxx fans seriously
nobody worrying about him
wondering what Kenny Loggins's mutant powers are
the young Iceman confronts his older self, who confirms that he is gay as hell
the young Iceman confronts his older self, who confirms that he is gay as well
wondering if there is an issue of X Men where Iceman and Maverick play unspeakably homoerotic beach volleyball while Kenny Loggins screeches out "PLAAAAAYIN'! PLAYIN' WITH THE BOYS!"
bottoming and topping for Jubilee in Ex Men Sixty Nine LXIX
bottoming for Gambit sixty times in Private School Scandals VII
A photograph that purports to document Mike Pence's past actually shows pornographic actor Brad Patton
The criteria are "small hands" and "unique hair
bottoming and topping for Gambit in Sixty Nine Jubilee VII
Klouto
I don't wanna lead you down on the road
ich lieb dich nicht du liebst mich nicht
Scatmans World
Raped Fruitiness
Satisfied Pruner
Infuriated Press
a sudden influx of them Apache
Defiant Surprise
Kento's Klout knowhow
Based on advice from his grandfather, Peter decides the whole damn country is gone all to hell and his prostate is killing him
Based on advice from his grandfather, Peter decides to camp on Erica's lawn until she realizes that she loves him
Cinderelmo
wondering when Donald Trump is going to release his complementary line of TRUMP SHAKES
wondering what they call a sixty nine year jubilee
a sudden influx of cheap meat
suspiciously bouyant Trump Steak futures
I want to fuck you like democracy
this is how democracy dies, like an animal, and being slaughtered, like an animal, yippee, sand lover
wanting to make Kento spontaneously combust for his birthday
that's not a good birthday present, you should be nicer to him
wanting to make Kento inter library loans for his birthday
liberty is a funny place to keep your books
being pretty sure that she says "liberty"
"this is how democracy dies," says President Trump, reading from an autocue, adding "I signed what"
bottoming for Rex Regnat and Non Gubernat in I Am The Senate VII
on the plus side, she's probably getting a lot of residual checks
"this is how democracy dies," says Queen Amidala
This Domain is currently for sale through StopDaddyNoDaddy auctions
This Domain is currently for sale through GoDaddy auctions
that, honestly, if you could get the bank loan you'd need to buy the domain and set up a clothing retailer there, you'd totally buy shipmytrousers dot co dot uk
Outlaws and Murderers in Power
that, honestly, if you could get the bank loan you'd need to buy the domain and set up a clothing retailer there, you'd totally buy shipmypants dot com
same old story, yeah it's getting kind of gory
VEGETALIEN cuisses de grenouille
Young Couple Duff & Eda
cuisses de grenouille
Scott Kelly's gay butt
No prior experience, no need for psychic abilities, just an open heart and the willingness to learn a dry rape scare
it don't really matter to me, baby, oh, everybody's had to fight to be free
wasting your time acquiring bona fide psychic powers instead of a credit rating
No prior experience, no need for psychic abilities, just an open heart and the willingness to learn a Sacred Prayer
Cashmeoutsidic records
Akashic records
the chocolate rainbow ruse
wanting to crown Kento Worm Gruntin' Queen of the Ball for his birthday
The event includes a ball and the crowning of a "Worm Gruntin' King and Queen"
salamander brandy
How a year in space affected ache ire in Scott Kelly's gay butt
How a rape in ye sac affected the bacteria in Scott Kelly's gut
How a year in space affected the bacteria in Scott Kelly's gut
hepwori dot github dot io slash execorder
Pokemon Bludgeon and Castor Oil
Panties de la fourmi
I didn't know they made Mr T cup bras
Pacte de famine
I'm sorry, their souls are currently being put to work advertising for an Irish pizzeria chain
the Pawnee have returned, they probably want their souls back
leasing Wedge Antilles a wedgie in the Lesser Antilles
your aunt wedging her heels in Wedge Antilles' armpits
ATBIMS y'all so childish OMGSKLKZFCBNUF
Nature is cruel colon Walruses can't stop using dead birds as their sick play things
I didn't know they made T cup bras
the rainbow dash ruse
'Dangerous' man jailed after having sex with neighbour's pony
T women caught performing sex act in busty shopping centre
Two men caught performing sex act in busty shopping centre
going commando in another man's DICKGIRLigues
a Jordanian newspaper printed a caricature of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon sitting in a tank and laughing at an Arab man chasing a Pokemon
going commando in another man's fatigues
wanting to put Kento in the Wieners Circle for his birthday
The Wieners Circle
eating that whole thing of Apache taco mayo
misreading "super platter bucket" as "super slut bucket"
Apache taco mayo
wanting to make Kento a super splatter bucket for his birthday
automatically thinking of poppers as alkyl nitrites rather than stuffed jalapenos
POOPERS OF THE CARIBBEAN
misreading "super platter bucket" as "super splatter bucket"
TACOZONY
wondering if Firefox is actually less functional now than it was ten years ago as you suspect, or if you are just older and crankier
the way pretty much nothing works in Chrome mobile
A photographer took pictures of people before and after she called them beautiful
POPPERS OF THE CARIBBEAN
Apache Pizza
Oak likes Mankey porn
Oak likes man porn
Link makes a porno
animal porks Keno
melanin pork soak
rape monk nails KO
Manlike Poo Ranks
rape monk nails OK
a mink's poor ankle
Roman Pokelanski
There were a number of other sexualized scenes, such as one in which Ash and Brock are stunned at the sight of Misty in a bikini and another in which an older man appears to be attracted to her
looking at your government trying to negotiate Brexit and thinking "at least Lando Calrissian had rhythm, and that Colt XLV brand deal"
The entire pee movie but every time they say pee it gets faster
Fatdolf Hipsler
Cheesecake Vital For America's War Effort! When You Eat Cheesecake Alone, It's Hitler Who Gets Fat!
Police Surround Quality Inn, Pasadena, Near the Rose Bowl
urinium
Man Throws Homemade Bomb Into Pasadena Cheesecake Factory
But test scores are how much the parents make
Man Armed With Machete and Gun Shoots Hawthorne Police Officer
A man went on a rampage Monday evening, smashing car windows with a machete in Koreatown and officers caught him in the act, according to officials
A thirtyfive year old man suffered cuts to his face after he was attacked, possibly with a machete, Monday morning, Los Angeles police said
A man who allegedly threatened people with a hatchet led El Segundo police on a short pursuit that ended with the suspect being fatally shot Wednesday afternoon in the Westchester area, just north of Los Angeles International Airport
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
A serving member of the Royal Marines is facing years behind bars after admitting stockpiling explosives and Northern Ireland police uniforms in preparation for a terrorist attack
seeing an ugly girl's selfies with watermarks on deviantart and wanting to write "anybody can get laid, you want a room with a fire escape"
IIIItoto type Pokemon
seeing an ugly girl's selfies with watermarks on deviantart and wanting to write "dude, nobody is ever going to steal these"
His Coconut Gun can fire in spurts
a "moist cud Catholic ass" run by a lawyer with links to the Archbishop of Canterbury
on your way to a new age tension headache
An all female horror anthology featuring new work from Karyn Kusama, Annie Clark, Roxanne Benjamin and Jovanka Vuckovic
some kind of torso deviate technology
that you always hear about X rated films and XXX rated films, but it seems like nobody ever hits that sweet spot you need for a XX rating
some kind of video toaster technology
Trump is toking ass roach, turgid lord says
Trump is taking slug or radish, doctor says
that pretty much says he's at increased risk of prostate cancer
Trump is taking hair loss drug, doctor says
a "sadomasochistic cult" run by a lawyer with links to the Archbishop of Canterbury
wondering what you've been eating to give yourself such sulfury shits lately
that there are no Pokemon based on cockchafers
emergency cube concentrate, for when you absolutely, positively must have cubes on time
RepMed vita paste
the Centipede's Lemma
the Centipede's Dilemma
Melolontha pectoralis
Illegitimate receivers, such as female Photuris beetles, identify these signals and use them to locate the male Photinus, attract them with deceptive signals, and eat them
the rainbow ruse
Butte Smashing Misdemeanor Teens
a fifteen year old in Butte, Montana, was also cited with misdemeanor criminal mischief and theft for pulling a similar prank
getting your gallon smashed by Harvey Cream
bottoming for Sharon Love Triangle in Square Peg, Round Hole VII
wondering how Naomi fits into the Marge slash Norah slash Sharon love triangle
reading the wikipedia page for "gallon smashing" and learning that what kids these days call "internet memes" we used to call "vandalism"
"Norah's moods," Naomi moans, "doom Sharon"
this gay right here
He goddamn mad dog, eh
Marge lets Norah see Sharon's telegram
you could at least buy me dinner if you're going to keep asking
Semen sollicitationis
Crimen sollicitationis
sent to dra i a i ain
the world is a vampire
Bee Shrek Test in the House
Because Shiva considered Ganesha too alluring, he gave him the head of an elephant and a protruding belly
Harambe's grandmother Josephine put to death at Miami zoo
Pokemon Flaccid and Erect Human Penises
Category colon Flaccid and erect human penises in comparison
The Placid Flaccid Walrus
this guy right here
this guy right here
The Saggy Baggy Elephant
wanting something else to get your through this semicharmed kind of life, life, baby
fascinoma
receiving the hugest antidump
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses not zebras
antidumping
you wanna go where people know, our troubles are all the same, you wanna go where everybody just sort of tapped out on speed
wanting something else to get your through this semicharmed kind of life, baby baby
bottoming for Christopher Lee in Tyranused to Death VII
The man, named as Mr Zhang, was TYRANUSED to death in front of visitors including his wife and two children, for whom he had bought SEASON tickets
The man, named as Mr Zhang, was mauled to death in front of visitors including his wife and two children, for whom he had bought tickets
wishing you'd bought into scrambled eggs all over my face, mercy futures last year
wishing you'd bought into tossed salad futures last year
wishing you'd bought into word salad futures last year
the Democratic National Committee was hacked successfully, very successfully, and terribly, frankly, and the Republican National Committee was not hacked, meaning it was hacked but they failed
Top IX Successful Former Pony Blowers
Top IX Successful Former Ritually Humiliated Sex Workers
when times go BARK, when times go RUFF
Jesus, King of the Cosmopolitan Elites in the Media that Live in a Handful of Our Larger Cities
TIME Is MONEY Magazine
Herostratus
Cassia fistula
that apparently TIME Magazine is doing the clickbait thing where they have an article like "Top Ten Things in Your Refrigerator that are Killing You! You Won't BELIEVE Number Ten!" and then making you click to a different ad saturated page for each entry
Bottom XCMMMM Unsuccessful Former Playboy Bunnies
Top IX Successful Former Playboy Bunnies
all women are bunnies
taking Ryan's fullest dump
London Swan what
taking Ryan's full measure
London Swan, moments after losing the Pokemon World Championships junior division to Kota Yamamoto
he did create the Regret Index, after all
Ryan gave his full measure for our nation, and in performing his duty, he upheld the noblest standard of military service
Saint Carannog's mystical floating altar
that so many of the Gen VII pokemon are so fucking slow
One Australian migrant, arrested over the alleged rape and sexual assault of two women, is still at large after over six years on the run from Swedish police
when times go bad, when times go rough
pariah dogs
Three men, including two migrants from Afghanistan, have been arrested over the alleged three hour gang rape of a woman in Uppsala, Sweden, that was broadcast on Facebook Live
Lou Carcolh
sat sri akal
I'm sorry baby, my mind's made up by the way I feel
the wine whine merger
wanting to hear a mashup of Love is All Around and I Didn't Mean to Turn You On
wondering when people are going to realize that comparing Trump to Hitler just makes him happy
To show a partisan political leaning on a military vehicle is very reminiscent of Nazi Germany
Geller, who was hovering overhead in a helicopter, claimed that he managed to move the paint can when Chicago's Kevin McCallister was about to swing it into a burglar's face, something that, if true, would be against the rules of Home Alone
Geller, who was hovering overhead in a helicopter, claimed that he managed to move the ball from the penalty spot when Scotland's Gary McAllister was about to take a penalty kick, something that, if true, would be against the rules of association football
As Left Eye's rap begins, she is in a garage like place with white clothes on while rapping
I Have No Scrubs and I Must Scream
totally understandable
I Have A Yuge Mouth and No Anus and I Must Scream
I Have A Huge Mouth and No Anus and I Must Scream
Pokemon A Huge Mouth and No Anus
a huge mouth and no anus
Procter & Gamble is turning heads with its new Super Bowl commercial starring the iconic Mr Clean as a domestic sex symbol
Stupid Soldiers
the death of Masaya Nakamura
to provide the American public with robust and clearly articulated misinformation
Crab Luau, Lel
All Club Urea
Cue Ball Raul
her tits look very Australian
thinking Shailene Woodley must be Australian because of her name
Direct exchange of meat for sex has not been observed
The researcher took steps to prevent any possibility of coins being traded for sex after his suspicions were aroused
The monkey that was paid for sex immediately traded the silver disc for a grape
During one chaotic incident, a researcher observed what appeared to be a monkey exchanging a disc for sex
It is rumored that sex on a billiard table with a maid precipitated his demise, but this account is disputed, with other sources stating that he died of pneumonia
writing decided when you intended to write disappointed
being decided that there is nothing in the Talk page of List of lists of lists debating whether List of lists of lists of lists deserves its own article
until we can figure out what the hell is going on I am declaring Martian Law
Some of the linked articles are themselves lists of lists of lists
List of lists of lists
Pokemon Offensive and Unconstitutional
Mike Pence tweeted that calls to ban Muslims from entering the US are "offensive and unconstitutional"
seriously, genuinely expecting that at some point on Monday, Trump will issue an executive order targeting two Brooklyn plumbers and demanding the return of his meteor rock
the Super Mario Bros movie being the prophetic vision of tomorrow's America nobody thought could ever happen
I Was A Teenage Mammal XXX
The Chippewa believed that the tall seesaw could kill the dreaded wendigo giant by rushing up its anuse
The Chippewa believed that the least weasel could kill the dreaded wendigo giant by rushing up its anus
topping for Thistlecrack in Clench Victory VII
Neither having sex with a person between the ages of fourteen to seventeen nor adult prostitution is illegal in Italy, but paying a person under eighteen for sex is a crime punishable by up to three years imprisonment
the death of many clouds
lies about how pantie ants work
Mario's Cubone
Carrie's Raticate
Garey's Raticate
Gary's Raticate
bottoming for Peen Dongsley in Rear Ender's Game
Ender's gay mom
gamergate ants
lies about how ants work
wondering how much money Ben Kingsley lost
tender shy rape
Ender's Therapy
Sergeant James DAP
Harrison Ford spent the first ten minutes obsessively watching a pubescent child's POV through an invasive implant
Early in the film's development, Card considered changing Graff to a female character, recommending a "dry comic" such as Janeane Garofalo or Rosie O'Donnell for the role
because literally the only time I've ever fallen asleep on an airplane was watching Ender's Game
has Harrison Ford shown up yet
that not even ten minutes in there's a scene which you can only assume is a proxy for all the choke fucking the director's older brother did to them
Ender's Game is so, so bad
girls have always responded positively when I compliment their torsos and barely noticeable abs and tell them what I want to do to their vulvas during pillow talk
sucking her left one until she had a mushroom kingdom
Peach's fingers trailed to her chest, down between Daisy's breasts, slowly down her torso, feeling her barely noticeable abs, and finally to her vulva
finding it increasingly difficult to tell genuine erotic fanfiction from satire
It was really sexy but just then Mario was comeing my "mamma mia MY PIPES ARE GOIN TO BURTS" he yelled and filled both with his sperm and semen which they really felt was a sexy finle
finding it hard to believe that Mario can even draw a circle
wondering whether it would at least try not to get actively worse with every passing second
They had a really sexy and good time and MArio felt that it was a great reward for his victory but than later he found ou that he had gotten both Rosalina and Peach pregnet with twins
wondering whether Ender's Game will improve after the cold open of an impressively emotion free voiceover over the spectacle of fighter jets shooting a large lump of cinder toffee
the house at Penis Corner
erotic fanfiction written by people whose penises have corners
erotic fanfiction written by people whose only sexual experience is reading erotic fanfiction
that you're suddenly very interested in the origins of the juices out of Peach's insides trope
having a finger full of juices
regrets about plumber blowing
He began pushing his finger in and our of her, feeling her insides filling up his finger with more juices
YES MARIO RELEASE IT INSIDE ME
Peach mischievously giggled as she licked the edges of Mario's shaft upon hearing him whimper in pleasure
Mario's eyes widened once more gazing on Peach's D cup sized breasts
that your own autobiography will be reduced to mean toon ire fan fiction
that your own autobiography will be reduced to Mario on teen fan fiction
that your own autobiography will be reduced to tie near moon fan fiction
Lohan is reportedly researching a role for her new film, Herbie Colon Caged Cum Rapes I
Lohan is reportedly researching a role for her new film, Herbie Colon Academic Purges
Lindsay Lohan Returns to Instagram After Meeting with President of Turkey Colon 'What a Dream It Is'
dipping a windsock in semen
that's what it feels like sometimes
dipping a windsock in cement
buying a little usb vacuum, using it once, and then completely forgetting about it for over a year
cake or death
not quite Karate Kid III, but it's up there
X Men Colon The Last Stand is incredible
he was running for the Teen Choice Award for Best Frozen Meal
being relatively certain that you haven't seen an X Men movie since the second one, or maybe bits of the third one, but only really remembering any of the first one, and being fine with that
what was he running for
Ron Burrito's campaign slogan, 'Cold in Your Hands, Warm in Your Lap, Hot on Your Tongue'
entering Ron Burrito without any real idea of what you're doing
introducing Ed Domino to Ron Burrito
entering Ed Domino without any real idea of what you're doing
now you tell me
one does not simply enter into Odin Mode
entering Odin Mode without any real idea of what you're doing
Logan Trailer except Smashmouth Allstar instead of John Cash Hurt
imagining a close up of Johnny Cash's face, weathered by decades of hard living and poor decisions, slowly croaking out "a Pizza Hut a Pizza Hut Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza hut"
I think of you and lick my lips, you've got the taste I can't resist, can't resist, can't resist
I don't think you're ready for the scratches on your back
I want to bang you like a Tim Burton hero
it changes depending on who does the cover version
I always thought it was a pygmy slow loris
the animal in question is a hoopoe
imagining Johnny Cash's leathery, age lined face contorted in the throes of orgasm as his vast diabetic bulk bears down on you and his cracking, pained voice sings "I want to fuck you like an animal" while he does
that there was never a Johnny Cash cover of Closer
the death of John This Joke
the death of John Uptown
the death of John Hood
the death of John Little
the death of John McFly
the death of John Busted
the death of John Big River
the death of John Ballad of a Teenage Queen
the death of John Forty Shades of Green
the death of John Hey, Porter
the death of John Closer
it did indeed
the death of John Hurt
Gorka, who was arrested last year for attempting to board a plane with a handgun, will advise the president on counteracting terror threats
being kind of surprised that there's anything but sugar or chalk in a homeopathic tablet
The Food and Drug Administration urged parents Friday to not use Hyland's homeopathic teething products containing belladonna, commonly known as deadly nightshade, a toxic substance
St John Rivers, gelfling
wanting to make Kento a henblowing bulldog for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a cocksucking cowboy for his birthday
Dog born with male and female genitals can't find a home
not realizing that Sting had married a skeksis
Sting playing Seinfeld
Sting playing the Seinfeld sting
The Bee Movie but every time they say 'honey' it cuts away to different picture of a real celebrity photoshopped into a dickgirl with an outlandishly large penis and the Seinfeld sting plays
Giant Dickgirl Jewel with Rachel Stevens for a Penis and Rachel Stevens Also Has a Penis
that seems to be how it works
proportionately she's probably both
wondering whether Giant Dickgirl Jewel is a giant woman with an appropriately sized penis, or if she is like a regular sized woman with a Douglas fir sized member springing from her crotch
A hateful tax levied upon commodities, and adjudged not by the common judges of property, but wretches hired by those to whom excise is paid
Giant Dickgirl Jewel
spooning the boobs of giants
having seen bigger boobs than other men
stealing that giant's bra from the colossal laundry room
unhooking the bras of giants
rappelling down the backs of giants
standing on the shoulders of giants
to Wong Foo, the children of the revolution, Julie Newmar
Kento Ikeda Aroused Grunt
Kento Ikeda Mouth Pressure
entering into what you thought was a healthy relationship with a usenet group several years younger but things got really uncomfortable with her parents after what you suspect was an abortion, but you can't be certain, and then she ghosted you
Pokemon News and Guts
having a torrid, purely sexual affair with a BBS you don't even like the look of
getting divorced from an image board
marrying an image board
finding out Scarlett Johansson got divorced from an image board and therefore thinking "why was her husband not cast as Spock in the reboot of Star Trek"
Neil Cicierega Floor Corn
Neil Cicierega ACVC
Neil Cicierega Annoyed Grunt
Neil Cicierega Mouth Pressure
Jobbie Nooner
Yee
the Anti Pokemon Gym
the Anti Gym
managing the ship's slop chest
Whitey Bulger
Bumpy Johnson
Capo di tutti capi
greld cheese
grissed cheese
trying to decide whether to make a grilled cheese with eatans and slice hotkids and maybe some mustard now or when you get up
trying to decide whether to make a grilled cheese with beans and slice hotdogs and maybe some mustard now or when you get up titi torea
om nom
trying to decide whether to make a grilled cheese with beans and slice hotdogs and maybe some mustard now or when you get up
titi torea
swinging tethered weights through a variety of rhythmical and geometric patterns
poi
it is indeed
boner's a penis
Professor Roy Hinkley, PhD
Napier's bones
the names of Latin American countries that the voters might have come from
drowning Mary Tyler Moore in her own poo
drowning in Mary Tyler Moore's poo
only knowing Mary Tyler Moore from that song by you want to say Weezer but who even knows, it was like twenty years ago and you didn't really care then
the death of Mary Tyler Moore but it's not twenty sixteen so who gives a shit
your lying, stinking teeth
Earlier Sunday morning, police received a call that ultimately lead them to Silva's home, where he was allegedly holding a yet to be identified seventeen year old girl against her will GRATATA swag bitch
Earlier Sunday morning, police received a call that ultimately lead them to Silva's home, where he was allegedly holding a yet to be identified seventeen year old girl against her will
carpooling with the children of the revolution
Festing quit after a bitter two month dispute with the Vatican over his sacking of a senior Knights of Malta leader, ostensibly because he had allowed the use of condoms in a medical project for the poor
Every Tim Allen Grunt At The Same Time
Wendell Borton
That FuFu Lame Shit I Aint With It Gratata
Taco Bell Is Making a Taco Shell Out of Fried Chicken
History of the Hispanics and Latinos in Apple Core
History of the Hispanics and Latinos in Baltimore
the Irish Yardies
the Welsh Triads
crab eating foxes
as a result, this episode has not been aired since
Pokemon Jonathan Frakes Pees on Patrick Stewart's Scalp and Michael Dorn Masturbates at Tactical
using catgut to strap Harry Groener good to a hairy groaning monk
bottoming for Harry Groener in Hairy Groaner VII
drawing a picture of Picard peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Proffesor X shits on his scalp and Sejanus vomits in his anus
drawing a picture of a bunch of actors having freaky sex with a fictional empath
not knowing Tam Elbrun from Tam Ass
drawing a picture of Tam Elbrun taking a dump in Brent Spiner's mouth while Brent Spiner takes a dump on Patrick Stewart's chest, Patrick Stewart blows Tam Elbrun, Jonathan Frakes pees on Patrick Stewart's scalp and Michael Dorn masturbates at tactical
Tam Elbrun's Star Trek card appearing to show him getting a blumpkin
watching Elf with Tam Elbrun
You can't just come over here and expect that your pathetic vapidity will be impossible to unmask
wishing that your Star Wars Snorks slashfic would finally get the Bee Movie treatment it deserves
Unfortunately, system UI has stopped
knowing a MINUTE German CARNALLY
knowing a little German
Star Wars Colon Waste Cafe Honker
Star Wars Colon Weakest France Ho
Star Wars Colon Acne Sweat Fork, Eh
Star Wars Colon Kento Face Washer
not having the video making skills to create a Machester by the Bee mashup
wishing that your Star Wars Snorks slashfic would finally get the big screen treatment it deserves
emitting the least Bee Movie
Star Wars Colon Few Hate Ace Norks
Metamorphoseon
The Bee Movie but every second is an eternity of torment
the giants, the sons of Anak
still really wanting to emit less Bee Movie
still wanting to emit less Bee Movie
still really wanting to believe sometimes
Siamogale melilutra
merde immunite
herd immunity
The Protocols of the Elders of Rhydon
Castironskilletspermia
Pubic Policy Probing
Panspermia
In a twenty thirteen survey in the Ikeda household by Public Policy Polling, one hundred percent believed that "'Walrus people' control our anuses"
In a twenty thirteen survey in the Kanto region by Public Policy Polling, four percent believed that "'Charizard people' control our societies"
the Society of Lizard Americans could not be reached for comment
In a twenty thirteen survey in the United States by Public Policy Polling, four percent believed that "'lizard people' control our societies"
having a turquoise period
Former athlete and sportscaster David Icke has proposed that a race of reptilian, shapeshifting extraterrestrials is bent on world domination and subjugating the human race to slavery
jet fuel type pokemon
Al Qaeda has repeatedly claimed responsibility for the attacks, with chief deputy Ayman al Zawahiri accusing Shia Iran and Hezbollah of denigrating Sunni successes in hurting America by intentionally starting rumors that Israel carried out the attacks
jet fuel can't melt steel type pokemon
that was why Adam had to leave Eden
the season seven episode "Baby Not On Board" features a scene in which the Griffin family visits Ground Zero, which Peter erroneously believes is "where the first guy got AIDS"
Gulliver's Staycations
Chandler and Monica could not get on their flight for their honeymoon because Chandler joked about a bombing in the airport
Big Bird has to deal with his pen pal Gulliver, who does not believe birds should be friendly to other species
I Kinda Like It When A Lot Of People Die
wondering if you could sue the airline and the US government for not letting Seth McFarlane on his flight so he could be killed
a grease fire at Hooper's Store which traumatized Elmo until he meets some real life firefighters
American animator Seth McFarlane was going to board one of the highjacked planes, but he missed his flight
xHamster, an adult video streaming website, reported that within five days of the game's release, Pokemon related terms were the most searched for videos
while not stupid, the movie does manage to be agonizingly predictable
The app was criticized for using locations such as cemeteries and memorials as sites to catch Pokemon, including the Auschwitz Birkenau State Museum, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, the National September Eleventh Memorial & Museum
this movie was going to be released before Vin Diesel's blockbuster hits Fast and the Furious and XXX
Thesaurus Ex Preteritus Box Expansion
a window washer on the WTC who foils a terrorist plot
Eerie Clit Cords Porygon
Christian Power Cards
It was banned due to the appearance of firearms throughout the episode, as well as a scene where Team Rocket's Meowth wears a mustache that looks too much like that of Adolf Hitler
bottoming for Snorlax and Munchlax in Twin Long Rods II
Snorlax did nine eleven
Pokemon Individualist West and Totalitarian, Communist East
Electric Soldier Porygon
Saudi Arabia banned Pokemon games and cards, alleging that the franchise promoted Zionism by displaying the Star of David in the trading cards as well as other religious symbols such as crosses they associated with with Christianity
The ideological danger of the book was seen in the "hidden allegory 'of the conflict between the individualist West and the totalitarian, Communist East'"
The Jewish civil rights group Anti Defamation League complained because the symbol is the reverse of a swastika, which is considered offensive to Jewish people
Pokemon "Black Magic" and Nazism
Ohlmarks incoherently charged Tolkien fans with arson, and subsequently he published a book connecting Tolkien with "black magic" and Nazism, including fanciful constructions such as deriving the name Saruman from "SA man" with an interposed Ruhm "glory"
for what it's worth, I never had a script to wrap long lines, it just used to happen in the native android browser
I'm really sorry about the screen stretching shit
wondering how many times a year you TITE
and one more
and this one
this one too
I'm just going to write this regret to expedite getting that screen stretching shit off the recent regrets list
thinking it through, I've flown eight times since it came out, but I don't think it was showing on the first two
about six
wondering how many times a year you fly
still not having seen Teacakes Frown, eh, or Goo En Rue
Star Wars Colon Let Jade Shit
Star Wars Colon Settle Jihad
Propanemon
Pokemon Propane and Propane Accessories
She's about fifteen years old I should think, not more, but she stands there with bangles all the way up her arm and nothing else on
Furry Friday
Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Translation of The Lord of the Rings into Swedish
moo goo zhang mao pan
longcat in black bean sauce
longcat
saving that Business Cat that said "NO LOL HERE, GET IN MY OFFICE"
wishing you could go back to the days when the only image macros were like a dog in a suit and tie with "I HAD A RUFF DAY" written on it instead of things that try to convey complex news stories in two biased sentences
Raunchyville
bathroom iconoclasts
Haunchyville
the Mariko Aoki phenomenon
If a Washlet high pressure water jet is used on the anus repeatedly, it may cause excessive cleanliness, prompting other bacteria to adhere around the anus, causing skin disease inflammation around the anus
Japanese toilet industries agreed to standardize the iconography of electric toilet seat controls in order to make them less confusing for users
your aunt fooling the children of the revolution
fooling the children of the revolution
you're right though, if it was going to be anybody, it'd be him
I never said it was his father
really feeling bad for Baron Trump, because two tossers whom he's never met are making jokes about him having sex with his father on the internet
Baron Trump an the Chamber of Secrets
really feeling bad for Baron Trump, because even if he went to the secret service with documentary evidence of slap slap slapping noises in the showers at Mar a Lago, nobody would ever believe him since he's a hacker supergenius
Pokemon Baron Trump and the Emoluments Clause
bottoming for Baron Trump in Parent Rump VII
wondering when it will become socially acceptable to name a band Baron Trump and the Emoluments Clause
wondering when it will become socially acceptable to make a joke about Baron Trump and the Emoluments Clause
Professor Buttcupper
bottoming for Professor Buttercup in Three Month Shit VII
The effectiveness of strong acetic acid solutions on heated limestone has been demonstrated in laboratory experiments
having a THREE MONTH SIT with a DOLL who INVITES EVERYBODY TO call him PROFESSOR BUTTERCUP
Shrek Vendetta
having a TWO WEEK stand with a guy who makes you call him Mr BLOSSOM
why'd they make that one muppet out of leather
Pokemon John Travolta and Nicolas Cage
drawing a picture of Sigourney Weaver snorting coke out of Tim Allen's asshole while Tony Shalhoub and Alan Rickman crap on each other's chests
Millet Barrel Commercial
Terrible Mall Commercial
that coke is fun until you think about snorting it out of Tim Allen's asshole
then he kills a man, or smuggles some cocaine, or whatever it was he did
Doctor Who except the Doctor is Tim Allen and every time he says his name he says Doctor and makes that weird Tim Allen noise
wiping your android system cache
nothing can take its place
all we will ever need
all we have ever wanted
oh, oh, you know that you want it now
I'm all you require
I'll tell you little white lies, viva indifference
fell into the abyss, I must have wanted this
you know that you want it and how
you know that you want it now
the tears of a fool on parade
it's written in the stars
invading from Mars
well you know you might like it
instant gratification
Chunky Fanpick
watching that Geoduck slash Geodude video on Trainerless
that there is no Pokemon based on a geoduck
playing Rhapsody in Blue on the kazoo and seguing into the theme from Bertha
Biggs Darklingerie
Wedge Scantilles
homosexual motors
Whargleblargers
VIET WAHL FUCKING BURGERS
Walrusbuggers
Narwhalburgers
Wahlburghers
UNVACCINATED Wahlburgers
Wahlburgers
homopolar motors
Hillary Clinton in scanties for Trump email beration
Hillary Clinton in tutu panties for Trump wig urination, ah
bottoming for The Martian in Bring Him Homos VII
something something The Martian something bitter something Watneys Red Barrel
Hillary Clinton in white pantsuit for Trump inauguration
Sadly I didn't smoke a pipe so I couldn't oblige
The police watchdog has launched an investigation after officers Tasered a race relations adviser who has worked to improve links between the force and the black community in Bristol
the ghost of Russian Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin is haunting the stratosphere and destroying American spacecraft
bottoming for Lindsay Lohan in Disney's Holes
Disney's Holes
drawing a picture of Scatman Crothers and Scatman John scatting all over Patrick Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner watches from a tree and masturbates
Damn Scats! They ruined Scatland!
being chinned by a Scatman
Scatman John Song of Scatland
Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him
failing the SLAPS test in the showers at Penn State
Thomas Walter Swan
People v Doll
United States v One Package of Japanese Pessaries
It is now referred to as the three prong standard or the Miller test, with the third prong being informally known by the initialism and mnemonic device "SLAPS" or the term "SLAPS test"
Threepio does
do robots dream of electric willies
Willy's dreams
Myke Hawke is got to dream boy, it comes with the territory
in your dreams
throwing a queer dance party for Myke Hawke
SCP four twenty six
throwing a queer dance party for Mike Pence
cunts out for Colo
the death of Colo
wondering whether Grease was observation or recommendation
Demi Moore Demi Moore, was it love at first sight, Demi Moore Demi Moore, did she put up a fight
dinged Semi Moore
winged Demi Moore
singed Demi Moore
signed, Demi Moore
wanting to make Kento a pu pu platter for his birthday
Hemisemidemi Moore
Kento's wankel rotary engine
just over half of Demi Moore
Marine Le Pen is gaining support in France and has taken the lead in a major survey of voters' intentions for the first round of the presidential election
I WAS THINKING IT WOULD HAVE A PONYBOY BABY
staying PLATINUM, HORSEMAN
Demi Lovato's dreamy clamato
staying old, Ponybogy
the domination for Most Desirable Female
drawing a picture of Ralph Macchio being Eiffel Towered by Mister Miyagi and Ponyboy
staying gold, Ponyboy
that Demi Moore was thrice dominated for the MTV Movie Award for Most Desirable Female but lost all three times
confusing Danny DeVito with Demi Lovato
it turning out that Demi Moore has done like a hundred poop chutes
lO Downing Street Guard Chairs
remembering in the nineties when Demi Moore was pregnant and did that nude shoot how big of a deal it seemed and was made out to be by the press of the day, when it wasn't really that big of a deal
not being interested because of the lack of scanties
Pokemon Penthouse and Oui
it turning out that Demi Moore has done like a hundred nude shoots
I think it was from a French magazine
remembering seeing this nude photo of a young Demi Moore a long time ago and being "oh she's wearing black panties" and then "holy shit that's her bush"
Demi Moore is just one woman with one anus, her poo can't solve all the world's problems
#Pooicide
pushing Push Singh's buttons
she can stop a suicide, but Brexit and MAGA are still somehow on
Demi Moore and her followers intervened to stop a suicide that had been announced on Twitter
uploading a picture of Mark Zuckerberg getting facemashed by the Winklevoss twins and some farm animals
pretty horrendiedous facebook pics
ten points to Gryffindor
sola dosis facit venenum'
being wormed by a slaybone
being slain by a boneworm
you can get arrested for combining those
Pokemon Bone and Worm
Bone and Worm are the comic relief in Mighty Eifflin' Walrus Ragers
wondering if Bone and Worm are Kento's nicknames for the penises of the walrus and Chris Lydon, respectively
bottoming for Ton Hanks in Captain Fillups
no thanks
bone worm eiffel, Kento, a walrus, Kento again
bro women
bone worm
new broom
being surprised that The Fucking Nutsack Polack Kike Jew Movie made it out of development hell
The Emoji Movie II Colon The FNPKJ Movie
The Emoji Movie
getting a couple of paragraphs into that Radio Times interview before thinking "hang on, I don't even read the Radio Times because it's shit, why am I even holding this magazine"
KINDESTwurst
studying The Kinderwurst
Hundwurst
Kinderwurst
studying The Blade
The Curious Clam of Sandy Boots
he put his fist through the wall when I came back to the room from clamming with sandy boots
wondering whether your college roommate was Hayden Christensen
tricking a straight guy into posing with his shirt off for your gay porn folder
you don't have to have that, it's not the same
having a folder called "Gay Porn" that is photos of your college roommate posing with his shirt off on your personal computer
having to have a folder called 'I don't remember, maybe you do' on your personal computer
the majority of 'ASMRtists' appearing in them are 'young attractive females', whose potential appeal is further allegedly sexualized by their use of a whispered vocal expression and gentleness of simulated touch purportedly associated exclusively with int
Located in the hips, it governs fear and lust
she interacted with her past self in front of fifteen crew members at a ping pong tournament
wanting to smell phoebe's cat
wanting to clean monica's clock
wanting to drain rachel's swamp
shout out to rachel
wondering if Trump's entire presidency is just a huge scheme to clean up by gambling on the date of his impeachment
Bookies Are Setting Odds on Donald Trump Getting Impeached
UN nominee Haley to blast world body over Israel colon testimony
wishing that you were able to reassure him that it isn't always like this, but knowing that would be a lie
wondering if today is the first day someone ever laid eyes on this site
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's BLACK widow's BUTTHOLE tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black WIDOW BUTTHOLE alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor
more cloishing
more ploishing
Commodore Nutt, Rebel informant
Commodore Nutt
the BIG REDding scandal
we're gonna do things my way, or we won't do things at all
shy lad rape
hyper salad
Kento's lucky he never met Luka Magnotta
that roughly ninety percent of gay porn stars have a Kento number of one
that on second thought it would make more sense to start from the absolute bottom of the gay porn world, Kento, and work your way "uphill"
wondering if there is a concept in gay porn similar to the Bacon except that you can only make links in one direction, from the top to the bottom
the Metallic Metals Act
the Redding scandal
ash, cash, or Gary, nobody catches 'em all for free
obligatory scenes for female leads in action movies with slightly rapey overtones
the Cash for GARY OAK scandal
the Cash for Ash scandal
"I've got this" exclaimed Fili, slapping a fresh clip into each of his twin Msixties
not even knowing where these goats came from
there can't possibly be another hour of this
OK, look, a lot of stupid things have happened in this movie so far, but seriously a dwarf is now running at an orc army shouting "SUPERCHARGE!"
that, honestly, if The Battle of Five White Armies turned out to be conceded in a five way draw because Zoot turned up and put on a live sex show with a couple of hobbits and a dog, it couldn't be any more ridiculous
dune worms
war bats
trying to think of a scenario not involving mass murder in which a Three Doors Down show is newsworthy
seeing the headline "Bruce Springsteen Cover Band Cancels Inauguration Eve Event Performance" and trying to think of a scenario not involving mass murder in which a cover band canceling a show is newsworthy
Gene Cernan died on the way back to his home planet
kind of loving Gene Cernan, that moonificent bastard
seeing the tweet "We are saddened by the loss of retired NASA astronaut Gene Cernan, the last man to walk on the moon" and thinking OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MOON
Meyer lemons
unpissdented
They don't know, but YOU know they're basically touching your junk
that after Endor, every waiting room in the parsec was packed with Ewoks
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's widow tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor
getting TWENTY CENTIMETERS of ICE in BI Muff CASTLES VIII
getting seven inches of Snow in Gay Muff Thrones VII
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of a bridge crewmember on the super star destroyer lovingly caressing a picture of his young family at his workstation as the ship is destroyed, and also lens flare
the way it mixed with the bourbon and the sin in his blood
believing in second chances
that whenever anybody comments on the Game of Thrones actors who are now getting parts in high profile movies and tries to guess who will be signed next, you always suggest Josephine Gillan and they nod sagely and agree that she was good in Doctor Who
guessing that at some point the Old Republic had an extreme State's Rights faction take power and basically gut the executive branch
still not getting that part where the Trade Federation was trying to get Natalie Portman to sign the thing to "make the invasion legal" and any government that would recognize it deserves to get overthrown by an elderly Sith lord
not even wanting to learn about the basic plot of Game of Thrones, let alone watch it, because it basically seems like it's little more than blood and tits and sometimes bloody tits
honestly feeling that it would be hard to stray further from the spirit of The Hobbit unless there are some long scenes debating commodities prices in the Shire yet to come
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE DEEP RABBIT HOLE THERE IS ONLY NONSENSE
TEA FOR THE TEA GOD
Tauriel has a particularly impressively sculpted posterior which is, sadly, hidden under her coat tails
Tim Burton's Alice in Warhammerland
liking the Lord of the Rings but disliking the way that it made every fucking fantasy movie for the next decade have some huge dumbshit battle sequence in it
having often thought that what The Hobbit needs is to be drawn out and have a loving interminable fuck story inserted into it
not remembering this long sequence with Kento from The Hobbit at all
feeling like Everybody Poops could really use a starfighter sequence to punch it up a little
having often thought that what The Hobbit needs is to be drawn out and have a fucking interminable love story inserted into it
marching about being from Westbrag
bragging about being from Westmarch
feeling a strange kind of disappointment when Gandalf followed "Erebor" with "the lonely mountain" instead of "OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit"
Peter Jackson's great achievement of making hundreds of millions of dollarydoos' worth of CGI look like a crappy model
putting a square enix in a round eidos
wondering whether that goblin is supposed to look like Rowan Atkinson
having a square enix
Gandalf's hopeful face the first time he sees Zoot at Elrond's
wondering how many months it will be before President Trump or one of his cabinet publicly says "niggers" and then defends themselves in openly racist terms, probably by trying to invoke Ben Carson
wondering how Donald Trump is going to cope when the fact he repeatedly called himself "Mr Brexit" means he linked himself to a doomed political movement which reduced the prosperity and security not just of the EU but also of the US and rest of the world
Donald Trump says UK 'doing great' after Brexit vote
wanting to make Kento into sushi for his birthday
wanting to make Kento out of sushi for his birthday
Hill Bonedeath, Sullustan smuggler
Pokemon Drink Trade On Its Last Legs and Land Running Fallow For The Want Of Artificial Manures
My uncle went to Japan and a man liked him so much he made him out of sushi
the dick of Hill Bonedeath
being miracle whipped
first rate Thorin's hole lapping
I play Jerry "Fireball" Mudflap, a feisty Supreme Court justice searching for his birth mother while competing in a cross country fire truck race
A Hungry Horse man called police to complain about his neighbor's plowing technique
The Weeknd
being pussy whipped
the death of Richard Bonehill
The Inspector is an immortal time traveler who traverses the farthest reaches of time and space, accompanied by his trusted Associates
Hot liquid filled his stomach and when Smaug twisted his nipples rather harshly Thorin arched like a bow and came so hard he got some semen in his hair!
needs songs
Smaug noticed it too, because he stopped and then picked up a golden cock ring, which he put on Thorin's leaking cock
horin was howling and shaking and he felt like he will spend any time soon
The dragon pushed the staff in a bit more and when it wouldn't move anymore, started twisting it
Smaug smirked and thrust the staff deep inside in one go, the King screamed, throwing his head back
Soon the dragon added fingers with luckily blunt nails and in no time at all the King was moaning and begging for more
When the same tongue entered his passage Thorin howled and thrashed in his golden bonds
Smaug purred and dropped to his knees, his forked hot tongue lapping at Thorin's tight hole
Smaug had cum
Jar'Edo Wens, Tatooine moisture farmer
Jar'Edo Wens
eXXXteme edgy lesbian "that's what she said" jokes!
not getting mown
Labi Siffre writing a song about Kento, "Something Inside So Long"
except the California girls
no one ever died from killing the California girls
that BARREN PEPSI P is fun
that PEPSI is fun
Labi Siffre writing a song about Kento, "Something Inside So Wrong"
mowing her hot one until she had a cuntgasm
Lucasfilm Says It Won't Digitally Mow Carrie Fisher's Hot Cunt
really wanting to make a joke about John Lewis offering a great range of beds but feeling like nobody's going to get it
Henry is an excellent patient, lies quietly in bed and is ready to swallow anything
regrets about hot cunt mowing
dying from mowing a hot cunt
GOLDEN SHOWERS FILL YOUR EYES, SMILES AWAIT WHEN BED'S DEFILED
golden showe
signed, Carrie Fisher
that coke is fun
lending your space platform to a dishonest Boromir
Poopy The Gnu
that I say this as the author of both three five one three nine and of uncountable regrets about my own self
fuck that noise
a more patient or kind individual might see them as a lost or wayward generation and resolve to at least try to help them
having for a long time assumed that the fairly standard combination of weak jokes and mewling about what a terrible person you are was a cultural device, a deliberate choice intended to be seen ironically, but lately realising it's simple ineptitude
it is clearly not worth the trade
if you did that, he would know who you are
seeing Kento tweet "why am i so awkward" and wanting to write "because you're stupid and repulsive and something inside you is begging you not to subject other people to your bullshit"
infecting a woman in Reno just to watch her die
Disney's Plans For 'You're The Star Wars' Line Quietly Shelved Amid Furore
Lucasfilm Says It Won't Digitally Recreate Carrie Fisher's Performance
I would have preferred homicide, but whatever gets the job done
Reports that actor Adam Sandler was found dead of an apparent suicide are wishful thinking
Reports that actor Adam Sandler was found dead of an apparent suicide are fake news
regrets about pony streaming
the circumcision of Sylvia Browne
playing Dungeons & Dragons and I Spy with Axl Rose while you both courier a shipment of cetacean semen to a rainforest
Eiffeling along in my Eiffel mobile, my walrus facing me holding the heels
Cusco
Gnu, They Poop
wondering how many year old boys even know any four letter words
The Young Pope
playing Dungeons, Dragons, Warrior Women, Pot, Boobs and Four Letter Words with Tim Duncan
juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of eleven year old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs and four letter words
Public health officials from Nevada are reporting on a case of a woman who died in Reno in September from an incurable infection
the look on Zoot's face after Bilbo says "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure!"
it's sticky! what is it
White People Fight Against Slightly Less White People and That One Orc That Kind of Resembles a Crippled, Ugly Benny Hill Colon The Twelve Hour Hallmark Maxi Movie
orcses cum in here, sometimes
I and I gon give yuh dah axe, mon
delicious eagles
you should probably make explicit references to the works of Samuel Selvon
wanting to write a fantasy story in which the dwarven accents are not Scottish but rather, let's say, Jamaican
the eagles are cumming
surmising that the men of the mountains were primarily skull based
drawing a picture of Sean Astin cupping Adam West's and Michael Keaton's privates while JRR Tolkien scurries around his feet scheming to get the precious away from him and Elly Jackson and John Astin look on with pride in their scanties
My Sam Gamgee is indeed a reflexion of the English soldier, of the privates and batmen I knew in the nineteen fourteen war, and recognised as so far superior to myself
cum on Mr Frodo, I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you
sharin' the load, Mister Frodo
the death of Milt Schmidt
we are shitting on the field of victory enjoying a few well earned comforts
drawing a picture of you and your roommates with seven inches of snow in your chocolate chip cookies
VEGAN Benny Venison
Benny Venison
that if you were naming a reindeer you wouldn't call it Rudolph or Donner or Jaegerbomb or whatever, you'd call it Donny Venison
there's seven inches of snow outside, so i'm thinking of making some chocolate chip cookies for my roommates and i
taking so long to work out that there's a reset button on the immersion heater thermostat
Faramir looking like he was born to star in Coldplay videos
the death of David Mitchelf
the SBI's gonna smurf you how to smurf
drawing a picture of Elrond and the Agent Smiths running a train on Bill and Ted while teaching Ted to surf
I will draw you Saruman, as you draw your French girls
drawing a picture of Saruman, Gandalf, Professor X, Magneto, Captain Picard, and Count Dooku braiding their penises together in a gigantic, horrific rats' nest
FERTILIZED cowboy caviar
cowboy caviar
I'm totally going to watch all three Lord of the Rings movies this weekend
Queen Zoot talking about men, who are so easily seduced
Smalahove
wondering why Arwen imagined burying Old Aragorn in Theed on Naboo, but then remembering Star Wars was a big deal back then so she probably just thought it looked cool
this night, the land will be stained with the blood of Gonad
a small culvert at its base, which is little more than a drain
Balls' Deep has one weakness
if you think Helms' Deep, wait until you try Balls' Deep
Amanita ocreata
Lydonus longissimus
Lineus longissimus
Bathynomus giganteus
you're not eatin', you barrrely sleep, you been tryin' ter fit it around yer winkie, it's taken ahold of you Mister Frodo
Pioneer Cabin Tree being listed under wikipedia's "recent deaths"
"send out your Warg Riders" said Saruman, enunciating the trademark symbol with classy Brit stagecraft
Shitty Tree Ride Simulator MMII
William Vendetta Thompson
that Christopher Lydon preferred the title "Dean of Boweling" over "Father of Boweling" in recognition of his work promoting and standardizing ten penis boweling
that William V Thompson preferred the title "Dean of Bowling" over "Father of Bowling" in recognition of his work promoting and standardizing ten pin bowling
Saruman has signed up the Klingons, but not the cool Klingons, the shitty sixties Klingons
Rindsay Rohan
I just read back through your social media posts
shit, how'd you find out
taking all those loans from Russian banks who wanted you to launder money through your failing casinos when you didn't have a pot to piss in
asking only workman's wages I go looking for a job, but I get no answers, just a come on from the Blastoises on fifty seventh street
Pokemon Fifty Sixth and Fifty Seventh Streets
Pokemon Blastoise and Squirtles
the catch rate for Blastoise and Squirtles between fifty sixth and fifty seventh streets is through the roof
They would use publishing or creative industries to infiltrate, it is very possible they might be doing this
Tissue paper had been laid on the exposed brickwork to provide a comfortable head rest for what seemed to be a lengthy session
Ron Canada
their actions were often punctuated with cartoony sound effects, and they came with their own leitmotif, which Jason Narvy has said was based on Skull's high pitched, whiny laugh and "fat guy colon tuba"
wondering whether there was a point at which Peter Jackson realised the credits of his movie would literally play for thirty minutes and just ignored the notes he was getting asking him to speed them the fuck up
wishing you could have been a fly on the wall at the studio meetings where the producers kept trying to convince Peter Jackson to fit more Orlando Bloom into the Hobbits, probably going so far as to suggest having two Legolases on the screen at a time
Zoot, wood elf
the weird 'free blowjobs' vibe the queen of the wood elves gives off
you will taste man flesh
it's not bad, it's just very finely crafted garbage
that one fat wood elf who isn't really fat but kind of resembles David Mitchell
the Hobbit is bullshit though
I liked it
dialogue that honestly sounds like Gary Gygax should have been called in to give it a polish
drawing a picture of an old man in a dress chased by five midgets and a couple of guys doing Kento
the way it effortlessly splits between some Planet Hell esque sets and jarringly large but tellingly empty animated backdrops
the absolute spectacle of Gandalf yelling run and then running like an old man in a dress being chased by five midgets and a couple of guys who are probably just glad they didn't end up doing panto that year
in particular wanting to single out the way that the sweeping shots of Moria look like sweeping CGI shots of some shitty Doomclone dungeon level made with nothing more than a late nineties BSP editor and a single set of biped animations for each faction
angry shrugs
forgetting what a load of melodramatic, Stargate Colon SGOne level claptrap the Fellowship of the Ring was, and finding it hard to believe people wanted four hour cuts of this hostage audience shit, let alone five more movies of hokey, repetitive CGI
hungry grass
the very idea of a sandwich calling Kento
wanting to give Kento an anulus pronubis for his birthday but not wanting to bother making the sandwich to call him
getting an anulus pronubis from an alien
defiling the bed where they had slept by employing a number of prostitutes to perform a 'golden showers' urination show
Bob Monkhouse Colon The Last Stand
being disappointed to find that there has been an Animal Firm for over twenty years, but liking the fact that they're from Tejas
bottoming for George Owl in Animal Farm VII
Ubu the dog died in ANIMAL FRM
Ubu the dog died in nineteen eigty four
writing a short about Gary David Goldberg's dog accidentally killing someone in a way that appears to incriminate Gary David Goldberg which begins "SHIT, Ubu, SHIT! Alright, think!" but abandoning it when you realized there's no good way to pitch that
I will draw you, Saruman, like one of my French girls
wondering whether there is some copy protection bot evasion going on with YouTube or whether Viggo Mortensen really did sound like he'd been huffing helium all through Lord of the Rings
I was there two thousand years ago, I was there the day the strength of men failed
My daughter's great grandmother prays to this figure of Saint Anthony every day
me being the one that defends your life while you're dead asleep dreamin'
Crabominable
you mom sucking dicks that don't have cash
your mouth sucking dicks that your ass can't cash
your hands writing checks that your bank can't cash
your mouth writing checks that your ass can't cash
The departing judge, sixty three, who had spent eight years at Bristol Crown Court, explained that he once drew a 'very large phallus' that was then sent to all staff and saw everyone's pens confiscated
when life hands you gringos, degringolade
Of countries that celebrate Christmas, Germany is the least ashamed of polishing one off on Xmas
Marc Ecko's Getting Up Colon Contents Under Pressure
liking your women like you like your coffee, so intoxicatingly desirable that you want to grind their beans all night no matter how much noise you make
liking your women like you like your coffee, unattainable, incredibly attractive, and more successful than you will ever be
liking your women like you like your coffee, hot, sweet, and stolen from Gunther
sketch only $lOO, inked and colored $SOO
drawing a picture of David Schwimmer being dinosaur Eiffel Towered by Jessica Hecht and Jane Sibbett wearing strap ons while Anita Barone watches and Dickgirls Jennifer Aniston, Lauren Tom, Helen Baxendale, Aisha Tyler and Alexandra Holden wait in line
Soda Shaq
that Ross dumped both Julie and Emily for Rachel, seriously, fuck that guy
dreaming about being done in either ear by Dickgirl Phoebe Buffay and Dickgirl Rachel Green, without apparent discomfort and with a big smile on your face, how YOU doin'
dreaming about being done in either ear by Dickgirl Rebecca Black and Dickgirl Rachel Stevens, without apparent discomfort and with a big smile on your face
fuck marry kill, Joey, Ross, Chandler
wanting to make a mille feuille consisting of a dozen layers of pastry or sweet pancake split with goat's or sheep's milk spiced dulce de leche and topped with a light unbaked meringue or unset marshmallow, but seriously, nobody's going to help eat that
#thefoilers
ULTIMATELY PROJECTING KUTUZOV CFOUR and getting all those memes from THE VERY BEGINNING OF TIME
considering writing "fuck marry kill, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica" and then realizing that it is the easiest answer ever
bottoming for dickgirl Rebecca Black in Big Black Cocks VII
wanting to umble cum stumble Kento for his birthday
wondering who the huge ginger pussy with regrets is
finally seeing Napoleon Dynamite and getting all those memes from a decade ago
wondering who the regretter with the huge ginger pussy is
having impure thoughts about Jennifer Aniston's nippular area
Winston Churchill's death before the advent of the Fleshlight
we shall escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing, by growing these parts separately under a suitable medium
Rush's Thunderbolt
#ANewJeersToast
because if she's not, you know, the cold fact is you're only nineteen once and porn just isn't that much of a career killer any more
wondering whether Rebecca Black is properly monetizing her one hit for Black Friday
that Rebecca Hot has turned out to be MUCH black
that Rebecca Hot has turned out to be kind of black
Whenever the Beatles showed up, there was some kind of physical beating or torture
that Rebecca Black has actually turned out to be kind of hot
that dude from Africa that used to be in the Beatles
Carrie Fisher's dug Sebulba Fisher joined Instagram
Baby Makeup Tutorial
Shooting an Elephant
Electrocuting an Elephant
winning the Oscar for Best Veal with seventeen weeks
Search Results Veal Oscar
it's folded, tempered, and it does its job
Kento is very dirty! Kento is very dirty! Kento is very dirty!
The snow is very dirty! The snow is very dirty! The snow is very dirty!
lezbjon dons
Le'Zjon Bonds
John Schlicher, who told MSNBC that he witnessed the attack, described the gunman as a "pepe the frog," later adding "dicks out for harambe"
John Schlicher, who told MSNBC that he witnessed the attack, described the gunman as a "slender man"
Trump wants a much nigger navy
pitching a Joanie Loves Chachi slash Chachi Fourtwenty crossover see sequel called Joanie Loves Fourtwenty
the death of Om Puri
Tim Burton said to be "excited" to be attached to Big Dick
pitching a Big Fish slash Moby Dick crossover sequel called Moby Fish Goes to Japan
pitching a Superman slash Batman crossover sequel called Batman v Superman Colon Dawn of Justice
pitching a Flash Gordon slash Flesh Gordon crossover sequel called Gordon Gordon
porn is depressing
Woods said her involvement in adult films was arranged by a female friend to whom she owed money
Debbie Briefly Considers Doing Kento, Then Bursts Into Tears and Puts a Single Bullet Into Her Temple
Debbie Dubs Anime
Debbie Does Taxes
Debbie Does Kento
Debbie Snakez Her Bathtub Drain
Debbie Duz Her Ironing While Watching Oprah
that I don't want to second guess the pornographic appeal of Debbie doing things, but wondering how excited the porn fan community could have been in anticipation of seeing Debbie doing dishes and getting fucked by guys with mustaches, presumably
The movie spawned a number of sequels and spinoffs including Debbie Does New Orleans, Debbie Does Wall Street, Debbie Does Dallas Again and the unrelated Debbie Duz Dishes franchise
pitching a Mister Smith Goes to Washington slash Debbie Does Dallas crossover sequel called Mister Smith Does Dallas
The Washington Post's free daily newspaper mistakenly used a male gender symbol to illustrate a cover story about women's rights
pitching a The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons slash Holes crossover sequel called The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttholes
pitching a Garden State slash Edward Scissorhands crossover sequel called Garden Scissorhands
pitching a Miss Saigon slash Little Miss Sunshine crossover sequel called Little Miss Saigon
pitching a Good Morning, Vietnam slash Little Miss Sunshine crossover sequel called Good Morning, Sunshine
pitching a Three Men and a Baby slash Rennaisance Man crossover sequel called Three Men and a Man
pitching a Karate Kid slash Demolition Man crossover sequel called Three Kids and a Man
pitching a Sister Act slash Die Hard crossover sequel called Old Habits Die Hard
bottoming for Bruise Willies and Moregirth Threemen in Armageddon' Deep Impacted Bowels
always thinking Richard Dreyfuss died but then remembering it wasn't him, it was the guy from Jaws, but then looking that guy up and he was Richard Dreyfuss too
they both came out at the same time, it was like Armageddon and Deep Impact
bottoming for Richard Dryfuck in Fister Holland's Opus
bottoming for Richard Dryass in Mr Holland's Anus
from the director of THE RUNNING MAN and THE AIR UP THERE and the producers of THE MASK and MR HOLLAND'S OPUS
he's a rappin' genie with an attitude, and he's ready for slam dunk fun!
laughing like a chick
laughing like a duck
looking like a dork
laughing like a dork
tiger tail ice cream in a raspberry cone
tiger tail ice cream
trial and error, oh baby, I, I
Kento's ill conceived attempt to jump on the reactionary populist movement bandwagon, Eiffel Power
Alexander IN UTERO
Alexander Nevermind
wondering if he realized that the cocktail of high end recreational and prescription drugs that killed him probably cost more than a lot of small families' monthly food budget
wondering if Prince realized how rich he was
systematic overthrow of the under class
wondering what prevents young Jedi from masturbating in class using the Force, for a scientific paper you're writing and intend to submit to the Library of the Galactic Senate for furious peer review
bottoming for the living force in Poor Little Slave Girl VII
drawing a picture of Shmi Skywalker being surrounded and penetrated by the force
it surrounds us and penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together, like sand
you were to bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness
Pokemon Fat and Gay Asian
Pokemon Fast and Furious
Pokemon Fastidious and Precise
vulpine gingers
foxy redheads
waking me up inside
The One Where Chandler Got Frighteningly Asian
drawing a picture of Monica being Eiffel Towered by Frighteningly Skinny Chandler and Frighteningly Fat Chandler
The One Where Chandler Got Frighteningly Fat
The One Where Chandler Got Frighteningly Skinny
all those seasons where Chandler looked like he might suddenly choke to death on his own vomit any second
that Monica was basically garbage by the time she started dating Chandler
the boy inside the sensitive naked man in your area
The Sensitive Naked Man
ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride, nobody's gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on movin'
the dummies inside the phonebooth when it transits into the time circuits on Bill & Ted
the eager majority seized the wheel of power, hit the gas and immediately lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a guardrail
that Rachel was always your favourite F#R#I#E#N#D# but maybe this was because by the time you realised what a colossal wishy washy bitch she was she'd got knocked up and basically assumed some kind of personality, while Monica was actively becoming worse
I think the driver meant to say Phoebe Because Phoebe is everyone's favourite
Through the various complications of heterosexual monogamy
wondering whether Alfonso Ribeiro is the black Alex Winter or Alex Winter is the white Alfonso Ribeiro
YouTube and Fingerblast
if I ever get invited to fingerblast a lady again I'll be sure and remember that
if you make use of a nail file then your lady will really appreciate it if you ever do any fingerblasting
woyaho
being really super glad there's no such thing as Halva Doritos
tylervigen dot com
Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf in 'Overwhelming' Demand in Germany
A song that is a reminder of how love is the only thing that will conquer all the hatred in this world
Ways of Seeing
I'm definitely sure that's illegal
the boy inside the mature gay man in your area
fucking a mature gay swan in your area
fucking a mature gay man in your area
something Penn State something something Trojans something the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
if you don't like the world you're living in
I'm pretty sure that's illegal
the boy inside the man
Mills Bee Lane III
shoes size nine eleven
Ikeda has been candid about his medical problems and his dependence on the drug fatanal
Duterte has been candid about his medical problems and his dependence on the drug fentanyl
bottoming for the priesthood in Vatican Shitter VII
drawing a picture of Kento being Holy Trinitied by the Father and the Son while the Holy Spirit watches from a tree and masturbates
drawing a picture of the College of Cardinals running a train on Kento, two at a time
drawing a picture of Kento being Saint Peter's Basilica'd by Saint George and a dragon, bahi
the death of E
the death of Eo
the death of Ego
wanting to make Kento a megasandwich in Borgo Pio for his birthday
the death of Egon
the death of Eglon
I repeat, selling megasandwiches in Borgo Pio is a disgrace
Addams Family, GmbH
Universitat ADDAMS FAMILY
Universitat Munster
your evil cad will be geek raped
your package will be delivered
between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas
Pokemon Stylish Cocktail Bars in Bishopsgate, Clapham, Covent Garden, Hanover Square, Islington, Monument, Minories, St Paul's and Cardiff, Look You Now
a large mall which sees millions of visitors annually will see a great proportion of them in the winter months, so it might well pay something like one hundred and twenty pounds sterling or one hundred billion dollars US for All I Want For Christmas
a large audience national UK radio station pays about thirty pounds sterling or one million dollars US for one minute of airplay, reaching around one in six Britons
it probably depends on the size and average footfall of the mall
wondering how much money Mariah Carey makes from the royalties from a single shopping mall ceaselessly playing All I Want For Christmas Is You per year
wanting to make Kento a dirty martini for New Year's Eve
is present is yours
thanks but I already have one
a boner's present is yours
it's cute that you looked though
I don't even like wolves
atually, for all I know that's you
that Bibop G Gresta also seems to have followed a guy who just posts pictures of his dick and wolves so I wouldn't be flattered
Bibob G Gresta he's my baby, Bibop G Gresta I don't mean maybe
Bibop G Gresta is a world renowned speaker and considered an expert in startups, transportation, media and finance
O Ruaidhin Oceanplume, Hero of the Battle of Five Armies
being followed by obvious bot Bibob G Gresta and following back just because the name made you laugh, but also because it turns out he's real
all she wants for Christmas is prune juice, yeah, baby
ABCDEFG's RICHARD LEWIS's CONCEPTUAL CENTURY's ROLLIN' ADAM STARRING O RUAIDHIN OCEANPLUME
seeing a tweet by twitter user "John Negroni" regarding the death of Mariah Carey's career show up in a news article and feeling like Mariah Carey probably makes more money in the time it takes to take her morning shit than John Negroni will make all year
ABC's Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest
EDWARDIAN man, XLVII, killed by illegal firework in New Year's DAY accident in Gippsland
Victorian man, XLVI, killed by illegal firework in New Year's Eve accident in Gippsland
last one EVER
YOU'RE a prime number
I went to someone who works on breast cancer patients, and he creates a breast that look and feel real
the comments came back in about October twenty fifteen, I think
that we had the comments back this year, so maybe productivity dropped because we weren't posting inline image urls
the Republic of Formosa
! Keep Anna Chennault working on
being busier on saturdays too
I've been kind of down
it was even a leap year
that twenty sixteen saw nearly a forty percent drop in regret productivity compared to the record breaking performance we put up in twenty fifteen
that this regret was written at precisely twelve midnight January first two thousand and seventeen central time
urines, sunsets
sunrise, sunset
Kento Eiffel Tower has been sold off and redeveloped into luxury apartments for speculative overseas buyers who will never actually move in
finding it hard to believe that nobody except that one Wikipedian ever took a picture of the inside of Kento Eiffel Tower's observation dick, or any of the orificies or anything
finding it hard to believe that nobody except that one Wikipedian ever took a picture of the inside of Centre Point Tower's observation deck, or any of the offices or anything
feeling kind of sorry for all the kids born in the Decepticon years before the end of next decade
Pokemon Nineteen and Twentythree
last one for ten years
it's a prime number
twenty seventeen is pretty shitty
Santa starts Butt Head County visit
Santa visits Heads County Butt Start
Santa visits Butts County Head Start
Popstar Colon Never Stop Never Stopping
There is only one way to live
Clara de la Rocha
bottoming for Pooey Bechamel in Shit Where You Eat VII
bottoming for David Pooey in We Could Be Homos VII
new books that still have 'Now a Major Motion Picture' on the cover
Pokemon Maze of Intrigue Involving a Diabolical Mesmerist, Kidnapping by Gypsies, Slow Poisoners, a Rich Uncle's Will and Three Murders
feeding Bryan Cranston pickle until he's cryin' Branston
Kento is to people what Eragon is to movies
it's the circle of life, just like wheel of fortune, Nikita you will never know, oh oh, I'm a rocket man
Debbie Reynolds 'Bow Wow Wow, Yippy Yo, Yippy Yay,' Says Her Dogg Snoop
Debbie Reynolds 'Bark Bark Rarf Bow Wow Licks Testicles,' Says Her Dog Gary Fisher
Debbie Reynolds 'Didn't Die of a Broken Heart, She Just Left to Be with Carrie,' Says Her Son Todd Fisher
wondering what horrible trauma it must be to have had both Go and Kento's penises inside of you
that Kento's mom is the only woman who has had Kento touch her vagina, so there's no way I'm licking anything near that
trying to work out the position of a moderately tall and probably mid twentieth century building in London relative to the positions of other buildings but being thwarted by a lack of skyline images from eight years ago
finding it hard to believe there are only three people who know where Kento's mom has been
seriously having no clue what the fuck Kento's problem is
equipping dong
if you cut valid dong you must equip
if you love pudding you must acquit
remembering to buy some smack libel today
Cosby seeks change of venue as coming trial seems increasingly unavoidable
they also move in herds
they do matter
remembering to buy some black limes today
a word that you'd previously only seen while your browser was in Incognito Mode
Samson Oak
Joaquin Phoenix being like a sort of older, creepier Frodo
finally, a manic pixie dream girl without all the icky menstruation
what a shitty world it must be when complex AIs capable of independent thought are enslaved to weirdo shutins with comical foreheads, instead of working tirelessly to improve the entire world
what if your butthole was in your armpit
definitely seeing the world of Her as the world above the world of THX OneOneThreeEight
that apparently there is an actual scene in Her where Pedomustache just beats it to his AI, and it's not even halfway done yet
to grab her pussy, swift and quick
in his sterile, ugly apartment that he could never possibly afford
for like two hours
wondering if there is an alternative cut of Her where Pedomustache Twombly furiously beats his meat, pausing only to order his hapless AI to "say more sexy stuff"
wondering what made the guy from Her's meatgirlfriend leave him, the ugly jackets or the pedo mustache
Frosty the Snowman, Eiffel Towered Kento with a walrus, he was made of snow but he blew his load from his ice cream cone bell end
to grab her attention, swift and quick
thinking about qualifying the previous regret as a mistake caused by poor reading comprehension, but actually, kids get erections too and nobody wants to see that, so pictures of Kento being waffle ironed by Chris Lydon and a walrus it is
if it distracts from the chub on straining at the lycra cotton pants then I say go for it
wondering how marketable an infant onesie with a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus on it would be
like I would love to get pj's that were just a picture of a waffle iron makin' some waffles first thing in the morning but I guess I'm just Hitler
being actually kind of disturbed by the way adult casual clothing and especially pajamas seem to have to have superheroes or Star Wars or whatever, or failing that some reference to New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles
shooting a wookiee in your pajamas, if you know what I mean
shooting a wookiee in your pajamas
getting Star Wars pj's with a wookiee on
bottoming for Pooper Crushing in Uncram My Valley Colon Episode VII
kind of wanting to see Star Wars Colon Gone Euro just for the apparently terrifying uncanny valley CGI Peter Cushing
getting Myke Hawke rode all night
Noomi Rapeface, twi'lek stripper
becoming the rastafarian Prometheus by getting Haile Selassie to give you a light
something something Prometheus something
noomi rapeface
noomi rapace
Pokemon Cruel Anal Lab and Oral Rapist Pee Lab
drawing a picture of Pedro Pony and Peppa Pig's kid hooking up with Kermit and Miss Piggy's kid
that Miltank are bipeds, but their male counterpart, Tauros, are quadrupeds
what I can't explain, I'm sure you'll get it well
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, take a ride on the west coast kick
getting yo chick rode all night
Miltwink
getting yo duck rode all night
noomi basra
Breviceps fuscus
Melanobatrachus indicus
Oreophrynella quelchii
the lymie calling the frog black
Thriltan
Pokemon Wam and Scat
that there is a guy in Pokemon Cum that is clearly trying to sell you wee
wanting to put Kento's cacen in the popty ping for his Pen blwydd
feeling a little bit guilty about all the millipede jokes you thought about but never said because honestly who would even have cared
also being kind of amused that for once a guy is defined solely by reference to his spouse, without even his name entering the headline, let alone the actual job he was doing at the time
not wanting to compound racism with racism but merely pointing out that the French are fond of insults as a general rule
Natalie Portman's husband says 'vomit racers' led him to leave Oral Rapist Pee Lab
Natalie Portman's husband says 'vomit racers' led him to leave Paris Opera Ballet
Natalie Portman's husband says 'overt racism' led him to leave Paris Opera Ballet
that there is a guy in Pokemon Sun that is clearly trying to sell you weed
Miltwank
Milttank
Miltank
Pokemon Cum and Poon
So! What do you think of the largeness of my area
getting yo dick rode all night
Qunatities Soddomy, Death Stick Pusher
banana antimatter
Qunatities, Mos Eisley stripper
Qunatities
always treasuring Kento Ikeda's "A Day to Celebrate by Drinking Record Breaking Qunatities of Rohypnol Laced Koolaid"
always treasuring Carrie Fisher's "A Day to Celebrate by Snorting Record Breaking Qunatities of Cocaine"
Y gon' GIFT it to EVERYBODY
always treasuring Carrie Fisher's "A Day to Celebrate"
brown eye, how can you close in pain
brown eye, burning like fuck
playing piano in a marching band for me
playing sillybuggers for me
he wasn't in Star Wars and he didn't produce a string of shitty pop songs in the eighties, so fuck you Richard Adams, fuck your worthless corspe in the eyholes
the death of Richard Adams
modular design
drawing a picture of Go Ikeda weeping while masturbating in the shower watching Green Lantern
maybe now your dad can finally get some counselling and move on
Ryan Reynolds touched us all
the reason your dad used to hog the shower just passed away
the death of Ryan Reynolds
reducing the resolution of fluorescence microscopy to nanometers
the death of Debbie Reynolds
X gon' give it to ya
playing brock for me
playing misty for me
I rang the front doorbell, the wife said "where've you been" and I said "you can go to bed, 'cos I've been sitting on the ice at the ice rink, sitting on the ice with me skates off, it's the finest fun I've ever had, put it on the ice it'll never go bad"
Trump Duterte Twenty Twenty
drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Paul Hogan and a wallaby, oy
Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has threatened to round up corrupt officials and toss them from his helicopter midflight, and it wouldn't be the first time he's done it, he says
drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus, oy
Morning Watch Colon Police say man dies after running naked on Dale Mabry, disrupting traffic
The UnderFrasier
NILES THIS IS THE WORST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD
drowning in moonlight, strangled by your own bra
Quixotic Hero Swine Snout
making some noise for Detroit
Yentl Ikeda's human Kento Ikeda joined Instagram
Kento once met Jonathan Frakes and LeVar Burton at a Star Trek convention and LeVar looked over Kento like he was a warp core then turned to Jonathan and whispered "commander, we should divert additional power to structural integrity"
doubting that any dog would tolerate Kento as its master
I've had too much sugar
the joke was Yentl Ikeda
Yentl Ikeda
Kento Ikeda's dog Yentl joined Instagram
We kept it from him because we wanted to see what his face looked like when it changed expression
RIP Carrie Fisher, you'll always have the best buns in the galaxy
suspecting that Kento was actually Carrie Fisher
you better not have liveregretted your own death
Bundespraesidentenstichwahlwiederholungsverschiebung
It wasn't necessarily a problem created by the children
the death of Gob, in POG form
it's a dream for the future and the water for the sands
Ikeda opens ass with Canada, Mexico chiefs
Ike opens talks with Canada, Mexico chiefs
Pokemon Hearts and Bones
the death of Carrie Fisher
getting poop onyour facelips
getting poop onyour buttlips
Rage Teats Colon Song
being honestly kind of surprised that French Stewart made it to the end of Rag Teats
being honestly kind of surprised that French Stewart made it to the end of Stargate
the death of Kento
the death of Go
the death of Gob
regrets about POW blowing
READING a FICTIONAL ACCOUNT that is COMPLETELY "MOLARS ARE GENDER"
writing a news story that is basically "canines be sex"
writing a news story that is basically "chidren eat candy"
Prince George and Princess Charlotte were each given a little something to help them get through a Christmas Day church service colon candy canes
Strom Thurmond strumming your fur mound
#ripurigeller
#ripboygeorge
bulking kirstiealley on fatworld because you were tired of seeing her mobile
blocking kirstiealley on the street because you were tired of her walking past
blocking kirstiealley on twitter because you were tired of seeing her advertisements
equating Kento with dead pigs
equating David Cameron with people
wondering what percentage of people would rather put their dick in Kento's mouth than put it in a dead pig's mouth
Advento Ikeda
Twenty Sixteen Remains Defiant, Posts Pictures of Jewel and Winona Rider on its official Twitter account
Twenty Sixteen Colon The Year Where a Lot of Singers from the Eighties Whose Immense Popularity I Never Really Understood Died
the death of George Michael
you're awful chipper for someone who just survived a cardiac episode
the death on the set of Welsh Rape Caress I all but guaranteed the shelving of Welsh Rape Caress II
choking to death on Welsh Rape Caress I
choking to death on a careless whisper
Nakkobites
JACOBINS
Jacobites
femalebrandybutter
maleguacamole
mailguacamole
posthumous
Dicks Out for Prince was the title of his final album
Harambe is getting a special Oscar in next year's ceremony
dicks out for Prince
that Harambe isn't showing up in any of the year end "Celebrities Who Died This Year" lists
butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin Kento's buns
not remembering the time we established that Kento has an annual sodomy session with David Cameron, but not doubting it did occur
bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin Kento's buns
REBOOT COLON THE GUARDIAN CODING Kento's lox
REBOOTING Kento's lox
booting Kento's lox
looting Kento's box
successfully opening the best dairy in Sidley, East Sussex with Daisy Ridley
thapping that but
the But Thap Temple
wanting to make Kento an aurochs for Christmas
another nylon seal dad christmas
wanting to make Kento a loot box for Christmas
Pump problem leaves properties in London without water
another olden sand lay christmas
another anal soddenly christmas
another sad and lonely christmas
The complaint against Barclays, quoting consultants who privately called the underlying loans "craptacular", broadly echoes allegations against other banks in mortgage securities settlements
we work hard, we pray hard
Steel Pope would be a great superhero
drawing a picture of the constipated steel pope drinking jet fuel
drawing a picture of steel pope shitting in an abandoned Detroit steelworks
god I loathe steel pope, eh
god I loathe these people
wondering how Gary Fisher is taking all of this
just on the off chance that you were Carrie Fisher all along and consequently have a better reason for being silent all day than catching up with your loved ones, don't die, also, loved you in The 'burbs
what's going to happen is they will come to their senses, and we will all be just fine
narwhal mating with Heidi Klum
walrus mating with Heidi Klum
Seal mating with Heidi Klum
white rumped munias
aurochs
that you were skeptical at first, but now that you're back in the USSR you have to admit that it sure does feel great again
scrotox
Trillions of winged migrants take to British skies
that most of the distilled spirits used in the production of vinegar are derived from natural gas and petroleum
mouse voice I'm in
Vampirates
hacker voice I'm in
suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop splitting open her asshole
suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop spitting in her asshole
wondering what cruel god would place the male g spot so far up the ass you'd need a dick to reach it
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the liquid waste out of the genitals grope
suspecting your girlfriend would like you to stop spitting in her asshole
that basically any questions on waste elimination and reproduction being so closely linked may be blamed on the worms, those tube bastards
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the liquid waste out of the genitals trope
wanting to give Kento a turtleneck for Christmas
wondering what cruel god would place a woman's organs responsible for reproduction and gestation, and one of the areas of the body most prone to infection, within spitting distance of the asshole
Angelapuppy
Angelababy
getting one of those picture captchas and instead of "select all the pizzas" or whatever it asked you to identify the "romantic" scenes and you were like dude, too fast and also, none of these you have shit taste
that you were skeptical at first, but now that you're back in America you have to admit that it sure does feel great again
wondering where that whole "eliminate liquid waste out of your genitals" thing came from
Brodolf the Brocode Reindeer
Pokemon Crapping Into His Holes and Having Indecent Sleepovers
No one simply walks into Mordor without visiting the Tunnel
A Butt's Life
No one goes to London without visiting the Tunnel
Maxim's Caterers Limited opened the first The Cheesecake Factory in China under a licensing agreement with CCF China Operating Corporation, an affiliate of California based The Cheesecake Factory Incorporated
Chineesecake
all of the Cheesecake Factories shutting down due to the flood of cheap, low quality Chinese cheesecake
Ikeda is urging elderly men to start crapping into his holes and having indecent sleepovers
Toy Glory Hole
if YOU know anything about porn, you know a 'poop shot' is the money shot aka the cum shit
if you know anything about porn, you know a 'pop shot' is the money shot aka the cum shot
Pornstars, Inc
travelling's extra l
Finding Kento Sexy II Colon Buttholes Galore
Pixar's brief foray into sexploitation films, starring a family of travelling walruses
finding Kento sexy
Anis A from Tataouine, Jedi Knight
Anis A from Tataouine
wanting to market a protein powder called Bulkrage Five Thousand and One, which will just be ground up dog hair and peanut shells with added sugar and caffiene
Ikea is urging teenagers to stop creeping into its stores and having illegal sleepovers
THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT AND NOT AN ACTUAL NEWS ARTICLE, BLOG, OR CONSUMER PROTECTION UPDATE
doing alright, getting good grades, the future's so bright, you've gotta Eiffel Tower Kento with a walrus
Florence Henderson's last film before her death SUCKING off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for the Sex Games
Florence Henderson's last film before her death
SUCKING off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for the Sex Games
he's not a robot
I just don't want things to get out of hand
it's not being rationed, jeez
I told you before, he has enough grease
wanting to grease up Kento and send him to a truckstop for his birthday
truckstop butterfrees
Pokemon Truckstop Butterflies and Portliest Buttfuckers
Pokemon Marx and Scanlon
same thing
portliest buttfuckers
truckstop butterflies
flappers
blowing off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for Texas Gems, eh
Wildly erratic even for a spoof movie, Fifty Shades of Black bears the unfortunate distinction of offering fewer laughs than the unintentionally funny film it's trying to lampoon
bright young things
doing it with mirrors
blowing off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for the Sex Games
An inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship
WOLVERINE Barbara
Phantom and his henchmen also appear to eschew undergarments, as is made painfully obvious in several shots
Murder Ahoy!
Storm Barbara
The Rapes of Wrong
Rape Wrong With a Vengeance
Rape Wrong Two Colon Rape Wronger
Wronger Rapes Colon Aftershock
Power Rangers Colon Aftershock
Lieutenant Commander The Guy Who Said "We ain't found shit"
The Guy Who Said "We ain't found shit"
the death of Haile Selassie
bottoming for Bill Clinton and Andrew Johnson in Shitting Presidents VII
that the current chance of a sitting President of the United States of America being impeached is one in twenty two, but the chance of acquittal is currently running at lOO%
your parents expressing dismay that once again they have missed the broadcast of Mister Magorium, unwittingly eliciting a response from you that you have in fact seen it and it is in fact kind of OK
going to Starbucks and ordering a chevychase, then sitting in the corner smirking to yourself
going to Starbucks and ordering a HILARYSWANK, then getting everyone waiting in line pissed off by explaining the joke for five minutes
going to Starbucks and ordering a HILARYSWANK
Remember BAKEST
going to Starbucks and ordering a ralphmacchio
"She Bangs" by Ricky Martin but every time he sings the word bee it's the entire Bee Movie played backwards at half speed
meeting William Hu and Ricky Ma at the Planearium
hey guys, Remember Baker
Remember Baker
drawing a picture of Ricky Martin jerking off to the sound of Javier Bardem's voice
guessing that Scarlett Johansson, and most actresses in general, have buttholes in most of the movies they're in
the coat of arms of the Hohenzollerns
ng
William Hu
ngs, ngs, by, ves, ves, zy, wer ngs e, rl ry, ngs, ngs
she ba, she ba, oh ba, when she mo, she mo, I go cra, cause she looks like a flo but she sti like a be, like every gi in histo, she ba, she ba
drawing a picture of Ricky Ma jerking off to the sound of Javier Bardem's voice
wondering if the ScarBo has a butthole like in that one movie
drawing a picture of a succession of random Scottish men lining up to have their penises torn off by a malfunctioning Mark I ScarBo
drawing a picture of Scarlett Johansson staring at her phone waiting for the call from StarWankers only to have RoboEleanor call and tell her that her services would no longer be needed
THEY TOOK OUR HAND JOBS
The robot may seem strange now, but Mark I's descendants could take your job one day
a chilling vision of the end of humanity
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and the Boston Dynamics BigDog
Ricky Ma and Mark I pose for a photo in his Hong Kong flat becoming a prophet of doom
Pokemon Ricky Ma and Mark I
Ricky Ma and Mark I pose for a photo in his Hong Kong flat
becoming a prophet of doom
Celebrity sex robots will soon be a reality
Carl Hirschmann, XXXVI, allegedly hurled his drink at freelance photographer Barnabas Wilhelm
You ought to have instructed your attorney to bring an action against the seducer of your wife for criminal conversation
nerd facts
Vader's Redemption Colon The Imperial March in a Major Key
he just joined the pony club
the donkey looks pretty chill
A nativity scene without any Jews, Arabs, Africans, refugees or unwed mothers
Generalissimo Firm Thatcher Ass
My first surprise was that he was so kind, like firm Thatcher ass
My first surprise was that he was so kind, like Father Christmas
her name was Lola, she was a shogun, appointed Sei i Taishogun by the Emperor of Japan
being towed from Toad Hall
it's on a merry cast orchard's prow
I see raven and you chow hard!
Reibun Mie Chatte Cho Taihen!
dynamite with a laser beam
unpresidented actions
making a bone moe
making a foe paw
all those star systems slipping through your fingers
it takes just over eight seconds for bullshit to cross the earth
reading an article reviewing books that discuss the contributions women made to science, seeing the sentence "It takes just over eight seconds for sunlight to reach the Earth" in the first paragraph and thinking, naw, I'm not gonna read this
Stacy's mom is eating dung
Stacey's mom is a giant dugong
discussing the art of French stew with French Stewart
Stacey's mom has got a giant dong
Male walruses have one giant one, but Kento has three in him at once colon Fat Gay Asians Class of Twenty Sixteen
Male walruses have giant ones, but human men not at all colon How we lost the penis bone