Do you regret
that last regret having the potential to be by far the worst thing ever written on this site?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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How much can you expect to regret ?

a world of regret

How can we obtain truth through words
Document Grundy, unsealed on Monday
Oregon lawmakers vote to help gay veterans, strippers wondering when Hollywood started caring about celebrities
sedating girls with Quaaludes then raping them
Oregon lawmakers vote to help gay veterans, strippers
wondering when Hollywood started caring about celebrities sedating girls with Quaaludes then raping them
fitting that it is a Monday
Comedian Bill Cosby testified in wo thousand five that he had obtained Quaaludes with the intent of giving the sedatives to young women in order to have sex with them, according to court documents unsealed on Monday
The Blunchblack of Blotre Blame
Aly Raisman colon 'Everything I put into my body is for my castings'
it REALLY needed to be laundered
stealing that girl's runny cunt bra from the communal laundry room
Runny Cunt Bra
Aly Raisman colon 'Everything I put into my body is for gymnastics'
Bunny Currant
being born under a gooseberry bush
continually poking that specimen of the rare necrotising vagina tree because you're really into cunt tree hand wasting
marquetry
dong bribes
insert Gary Glitter joke here
converted your dollars to dong and getting some Vietnamese schoolboys
getting a two year subscription to Drunk Fireworks Handler Magazine
one hundred% of Vietnamese schoolchildren believe one hundred% of their classmates may be Asian
legalized prostitution
twenty five% of Vietnamese schoolchildren believe ten% of their classmates may be gay
Man Shoots off Firework From Top of His Head, Dies Instantly
filling that girl's bra with guacamole in the communal laundry room and then denouncing her
guacamole is bourgeois decadence
We would never come to believe that a homosexual could embody the conditions and requirements of conduct that would enable us to consider him a true Revolutionary, a true Communist militant putting penis in your guacamole
when you're trying to masturbatevand people keep messaging you
a beer peddler, which provided booze to one of Trump's bars in Chicago, has cut all ties, redirecting fifty kegs destined for the businessman's cellar with the rebranded name "Fuck your hair", da bears
whacking a mole of guacamole into a waxy mole at Wahaca, ole m'kay
just to keep my mouth from spouting junk
having frequent ranks under the craft table
having a crafty rank under the frequency table
the frequency of any word in a body of writing under study is inversely proportional to its rank in the frequency table
that there are hapaxes legomenon
that there is a hapax legomenon
guacoplating your pennies
having a cousin who lived in Cuba for a couple of years putting guacamole in your penis
having a cousin who lived in Cuba for a couple of years
putting guacamole in your penis
We would never come to believe that a homosexual could embody the conditions and requirements of conduct that would enable us to consider him a true Revolutionary, a true Communist militant
putting penis in your guacamole
putting pee in guacamole
wondering how many exhibits the Museum of Throaty Urinals has
Nun Fights at the Museum of Aural Girth Toy
evolution must be spinning in its grave
having a portion of your brain set aside for the song "No Scrubs",and another portion set aside for the song "No Pigeons"
Go penis
pigeons
I told them that museum would be nothing but trouble
Gunfight at the Museum of Your Thirsty Anus
Gunfight at the Museum of Oral Anus Thirty
Gunfight at the Museum of Art Lain Thru Soy
Gunfight at the Museum of Throaty Urinals
Gunfight at the Museum of Natural History
there's a new Mexico
while the kids are out gettin' their nits picked we can have our own private cootie call
I can't figure out why I got to deal with you
electric word, life, it means forever and that's a mighty long time
really needing to get some Odinsleep, isn't it
really just wanting to move on with your life
you've already made me proud, look you
really just wanting to move on with your life
really just wanting to move on with your life
really just wanting to move on with your life
really just wanting to move on with your life
really just wanting to move on with your life
really just wanting to move on with your life
this is bullshit
so all this time it turns out the trick to adding a regret that has already been added was just double tapping enter
haven't done it yet
pulling out Natalie Portman's ass hair by the roots
I apologise if this is troubling you
London art galleries, that kind of thing
you probably don't want to think too hard about Urwin or coffee, either
confusing five oh one three eight with five one oh three eight
I don't intend to watch any of these a second time
finding a quiet oubliette to forget yourself in where, for a long time, it seemed possible to avoid any reference to the problem, including imagery, but suspecting that ultimately this was counter productive
very rarely being comfortable discussing it openly because of things like nine seven six one one and five one oh three eight
basically trying to move past the flinching thing, probably ten years too late
it depends on what psychosexual means
wondering whether you have a psychosexual obsession with Natalie Portman, like that one guy had with Summer Glau
Xena, Jackie Chan, and Robin Hood
watching fairly simplistic characters in a fairly simplistic movie but nevertheless having the creeping sense that they lead more complex and important lives than you do
These women are DETERMINED to find a boyfriend
finding it distracting when nobody is paid in kroner
saying "minimum wage mall cops" instead of "Paul Blarts"
there's a distinct absence of bricks, excluding the shithouse
making a bridge out of smashed unicorns
how incredibly Welsh Anthony Hopkins sounds
Thor just "tonight, you" winked at his own mom
Puente Antiguo, New Mexico
bottoming for Jerry Sandusky in like eight Children of the Cornhole movies
people in fatworld
taking two unintentional siestas in a row in Jack Nicholson's hot tub
taking two unintentional siestas in a row
drawing a picture of Clarissa explaining IT to Al Pacino but all I see is an Eiffel Tower of reams, real cum burstin' out of every seam
drawing a picture of Clarissa explaining IT to Al Pacino but having to restart because you drew Joe Pesci
that there are like eight Children of the Corn movies
Stephen King's Windows Secrets
Clarissa Explains IT All
imagining Rihanna adjusting her reading glasses, thumbing through a Ruby on Rails tutorial book while muttering about PHP
Stephen King Shut Down After Rihanna Tweets About IT
Rihanna Tweets About IT
aiming to beat off to pictures of a half ton Rihanna
Thai Sex Show Involving Corn Dogs Shut Down After Half Ton Rihanna Tweets About It
wondering how much traffic the farworld wiki gets from people aiming to beat off to pictures of a half ton Rihanna
at six feet tall, Kristen Johnston must be one of the slimmest people in fatworld
his favorite dream is of a world far away, a world where magic is as common as air, where animals tell jokes, and where trees beg people to pick their fruit
farworld
according to the farworld wiki, Kristen Johnston alone weighs four hundred and twenty pounds
this record collecting is driving me nuts, it's taking all of my time and money
wondering what your chances of getting it on with a lesbian are when you firstly can't even spell her name right and secondly have a penis
wondering what the combined weight of Kristen Johnston, Elly Jackson, Zoey Prosheck, Rachel Stevens and Steve Harwell is, and what the best way to go about talking them into an orgy together would be
being absurdly attracted to Elly Jackson
not finding either of French Stewart's wives particularly hot, but being willing to admit they have a certain charm
repeatedly answering "no" to the lyrics of "Some Like it Hot" while crying bitter, bitter tears alone again on another rainy Sunday afternoon, a bloo bloo
that French Stewart's wife is super hot
that Kristen Johnston was hot, when in fact she looked, sounded, and most likely smelled, like a longshoreman or possibly a male Australian rules footballer
whispering "no homo" to yourself over and over like a charm
this is as gay as the regret index has ever been
drawing a picture of naked Taylor Hanson and Joseph Gordon Levitt tucking their penises between their legs while tugging on each other's pony tails, in the showers at Penn State
tugging on Taylor Hanson's pony tail while the regret gets gayer and gayer with each new syllable
Hanson gets kidnapped by a group of italian jew mobsters along with N'Sync & the best comedians in the world
having Taylor Hanson Fever
young Joseph Gordon Levitt had a Taylor Hanson kind of vibe, I would hit that
that you probably would hit on Kristen Johnston, especially if the field was Third Rock principal cast members
the episodes of Third Rock from the Sun in which they implied that Kristen Johnston was hot, when in fact she looked, sounded, and most likely smelled, like a longshoreman or possibly a male Australian rules footballer
fat Gayonese Asians
wanting to give Kento three AA batteries for his birthday
The indigenous people in Takengon are the Gayonese people or as they're usually called, "urang Gayo"
wanting to give Kento a twelve inch Jar Jar for his birthday
eating artisanal stewed pets with Patrick Stewart
pelting Steve Harwell with pita while you chant "gyros, you're a mall star, why don't you get off the staaaaage"
wanting to make Kento a four inch pita for his birthday
the exacting world of gyro s
PITAS ARE ACCEPTABLE PROVIDED THEIR DIAMETER IS NO GREATER THAN FOUR INCHES
a topit
provided there is no bread on premises
Steve Harwell will appear on any unattended stage with a functioning PA
wondering how much it would cost to get Steve Harwell, Jennifer Garner, and French Stewart to appear at your birthday party
carving a series of bovine themed stone toilets for John Lithgow
christening your johnson Kristen Johnston
you may remember French Stewart from such nonmovies as 'Home Alone IV Colon Taking Back the House' and 'Inspector Gadget II'
levitating Joseph Gordon Levitt's card yourself
Beverly Hills Chihuahua II
you may remember French Stewart from such movies as 'Home Alone IV Colon Taking Back the House' and 'Inspector Gadget II'
the way that the heat always gets to you on summer nights, but then when it cools off again you find that equally difficult
jesus cockdamn christ
the way that the heat always gets to you every su
sen tens good
eating artisanal French stew with French Stewart
the way that the heat always gets to you ever
frenching a bastard with a mouthful of french mustard
literally believing that the reason DeNiro has a goatee in Heat is to differentiate him from Pacino
Jal Frezi, Jedi Knight
Pacino and DeNiro as the Wet Bandits
always picturing Joe Pasquale when you hear the name Joe Pesci and vice versa
Jal Pescino, Jedi Knight
always picturing Joe Pesci when you hear the name Al Pacino and vice versa
it also needs to be about an hour shorter, or possibly split in two parts
that what Heat really needed was a guy who stands at the side of every scene in which Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are on screen together and goes "ha! haa! c'moooon!" to the audience
polishing your Polish sausage with sausage polish
walrus fucks him in the ass
The only time Kento Ikeda has a funny oosik in his body is when a walrus fucks him in the ass
The only time Chevy Chase has a funny bone in his body is when I fuck him in the ass
a doctaw here
he was probably hanging around hoping for a blowie before he left
poor Ralph
ranking ALF episodes with Al Franken
Chevy Chase's assholedom was permanent
"I don't know what it's like to be in bed with Al Pacino, but I imagine there is a lot of overacting"
Al Pacino spilling Alpen on his chinos
bottoming for Anal Pacino in Scarfacefuck VII
the action is the juice
not really getting what the big deal with Al Pacino is
the monster fuck of my young life
drawing a picture of Kento ordering two extra large sausage pizzas
Wiki model loses out on hoot god champion title
Kiwi model loses out on hot dog champion title
Sexually Receptive Magazine
all the sexually receptive women talking in psychobabble
all the women in Heat talking in psychobabble
overly complex and public set piece heists
Ted Pitt
Brad Danson
continually finding Ted Danson's name when you tried to think of what Brad Pitt is called
young Val Kilmer looking like a blander, less hammy Brad Pitt
unironically choosing to watch Heat
there was much less Eiffel Towering than originally feared
it was neat
boogying, forsooth
Elmo could also get a second job as a stripper
stage whispers
Natalie sure makes a great elephant, said Elmo, updating the fatworld wikia furiously all night
the elephant!
it's funty dressup and wear the crown an all that
today is your lucky day, forsooth
Elmo is the elephant
this is going to be great
Elmo's going to play the elephant
noted ammosologist Hayden Christensen says that his research indicates rapid multiplication of such "kentoles" until they are "literally everywhere"
A large mystery hole which spurted "big plumes of water" and sent plants and snails shooting into the air has appeared on a beach
bellowing MY RAGTIME RAGTIME GAL
bellowing MY DARLING
bellowing MY BABY
being bored on the fourth of July
Jennifer Garner's sicareer
Jennifer Garner's nocareer
Jennifer Garner's jacareer
Jennifer Garner's neincareer
Jennifer Garner's ouicareer
Jennifer Garner's noncareer
acting like you've got nothing to lose
mandals
flip flopping on flip flops
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon being able to get married in all fifty states now
wondering if the emotional stress of his divorce affected Ryan Reynold's noncareer
your job's a joke, you're broke, your husband's really gay
wondering if the emotional stress of the divorce will impact Jennifer Garner's noncareer
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were "on a break" according to insiders
drawing a picture of Jennifer Garner stoically ignoring her lawyer as she tries to concentrate on The One With All The Jealousy
People Magazine Jennifer Garner Is 'Leaning on F#R#I#E#N#D#S#' After Divorce Announcement
idealistically naked women
People Magazine Jennifer Garner Is 'Leaning on Friends' After Divorce Announcement
pragmatically naked women
impractically naked women
practically naked women
naked women
Anal Pram Tonite
This Woman Got Pregnant from Having Anal Hite
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the pizza delivery guy porn trope
This Lion Got Pregnant from Having Nala Sex
there are probably repeat offenders where it actually happens
wondering how often pizza delivery guys actually run into naked women
washing a sandy peregrines off with San Pellegrino
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the baby out of a poop chute trope
Affleck divorce is "about ethics in Garner journalism"
a penis up your poop chute could get you preggers
i imgur com OBqfivekse gif
This Woman Got Pregnant from Having Anal Sex
Shalomhole Magazine
Poophole Meatus, Jedi Knight
Poophole Magazine
peeing Brian Meatus
don't mention the hot pants
aye, the hot pants
Dickfuck the Dongsmasher
Ghyslain Raza, Jedi Knight
Fat Mutafuka Tacos, Jedi Knight
peppering brain meat
Charles Bronson piercing Pierce Brosnan
nearly getting in a hardon collision on the way home
Ben Affleck is a bed wetting cry baby
Ben Affleck Is Leaning on His Mom for Support After Jennifer Garner Split
nearly getting in a head on collision on the way home
denouncing yourself
being insistently told by a friend of a friend that you are a celebrity of some description and having to deny it over and over
Auntie Fee's Fat Mutafuka Tacos
Canadia
Norwegia
what Snap's doing to Pop while Crackle watches
i imgur com gPrfourqKT jpg
being called after a famous drink
Idris Elba Colon No Limits
wanting to climb every mountain, watch every stream, taste every rainbow, 'till you find your dream
whittling down a Buick to shank Dan Cruickshank
thinking that on balance you probably just want to taste the rainbow because you know that you can't
a very challenging day
I'm not sure if I really believe you about the coma, but just in case I'm sorry I went there
it's been a tough day
that last regret having the potential to be by far the worst thing ever written on this site
it's probably just a reflex
me mom is in a coma
you mom sucks
yogscast sucks
a beautiful, trolly, lisping dude
she sounds like a dude
Diss Corn Hall
Proasheck
Totalbiscuit
copporn
wondering who this YouTuber is and hoping it's not pewdiepie
cornography
The act of fingering two girls at the same time, one on each side of one's body, hence resembling playing a pinball machine
she's a cheerleader for the freetards
freedom of panorama
watching a lot of a particular YouTuber whose voice and personality you've fallen hard for, even though you know that in the unlikely event of ever meeting them not only are they in a great relationship, they're also not into dolls
watching a lot of a particular YouTuber whose voice and personality you've fallen hard for, even though you know that in the unlikely event of ever meeting them not only are they in a great relationship, they're also not into guys
TRUMP, the pay to win board game
Parker Brothers and Donald Trump are challenging consumers to determine whether they have the brains and the brawn to be the next Donald Trump with the launch of TRUMP the Game, the new high stakes board game
kind of like if Roman Polanski were to make a Jimmy Savile biopic
he doesn't, other than the fact that he sometimes looks slightly better in comparison with the complete human garbage dumps he aims to employ
never having watched The Apprentice, and being unable to comment on whether Donald Trump has any sympathetic aspects
the way in which articles critical of a celebrity or politician will choose the most unflattering freeze frame photo to illustrate how evil their target is, and the way that every last picture of Donald Trump looks like one of those pictures
the kind of people who claim that they never argue with their significant other
I had some issues, but I wouldn't call it emotionally troubled, certainly not compared to, say, Samantha Geimer
genuinely having always thought that people who claimed never to have been emotionally troubled as teens were probably liars
valuing your own name at more than three billion dollarydoos
Hilton spent one year at the Provo Canyon School for emotionally troubled teens, which is apparently all it takes for a major network to say "Hey, let's follow this mentally ill skank around with a camera and call it reality TV"
Hilton said that she "wanted to model," Trump wanted her at his agency and she was "loving" the work
it's a thirty minute DJ set that quickly turns into a porno, all filmed on an iPhone on a private jet
Paris Hilton's twenty sixteen Academy Award wins for Best Actress, Best Director, and Best Original Score for Fun King Lear
which is ironic, since her career was basically launched by fucking a dude in front of a night vision camera
seeing Paris Hilton in Zoolander and realising she's had a fourteen year career without ever really fucking the hell off
getting to the age where you are more likely to meet your Jaden Smith than your Mr Miyagi
meeting your very own manic pixie dream girl that one time but then almost immediately being slowly boiled to death in a vat of coffee
you might have met someone who would possibly have been your Mr Miyagi but he was heavily fined for employing illegal immigrants and you kind of lost track of him
suspecting that you just aren't the protagonist in your own life
having never met a manic pixie dream girl, or a magical negro, or a hooker with a heart of gold, or any of these other characters that movie heros are constantly tripping over and who make their lives better
Fun Lear
the Asshole Horn Wail
the In Arse Hallo Show
the TSA is thirteen years old and has a special interest in butt stuff, something something, Roman Polanski
"Wuff, Wuff, Wuff"
Hector Barros previously worked as a TSA agent
FULLY FUNCTIONALA, the robot lion from Gene Roddenberry's Lion King
being full of piss
FULLY FUNCTIONALA Passionate Date with a Russian Beauty
The Passionate Date with a Russian Beauty of the Christ
despite your obvious need
not expecting to meet your very own manic pixie dream girl as a result of funeral attendance, but conceding you are unlikely to spend the day urinating or attend any mental health services
going to a funeral
your curious obsession with breast implants
putting avocado in mushy peas
using "crossing the Saline County line" as a euphemism for getting breast implants"
putting peas in guacamole
Late Wednesday, Serta announced it would no longer sell the Trump Home mattress, a product no one even knew existed
Have a Passionate Date with a Russian Beauty!
Members of the "Dog Pound" jubilantly interacted with Hall, standing up and making a pumping, whirling motion with their raised fists and howling "Wuff, Wuff, Wuff"
Brazilian surgeons preferred the largest areola size, both in natural breasts and in breasts with implants, while German surgeons preferred the smallest areola size
Saline County teen finds four inch centipede in ear
Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies responding to "shots fired" reports on the old Seven Mile Bridge in Marathon Monday night found a man in full pirate costume packing operational black powder pistols in holsters on each hip
a masculine combination of rich vetiver, tonka bean, birchwood and musk
drawing a picture of Hector Barros inserting a finger into the anus of each member of the Funky Bunch to check for polyps and other abnormalities
wondering if Hector B arros actually has an advanced degree in proctology or if it is just an avocational interest of his
having fun making your mark with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch at a key party
Scott Ross, Hector Barros, Terry Yancey, and Anthony Thomas, wicked pissah
Scott Ross, Hector Barros, Terry Yancey, and Anthony Thomas building a space station capable of turning an entire planet into sand and getting it everywhere
Scott Ross, Hector Barros, Terry Yancey, and Anthony Thomas
building a space station capable of turning an entire planet into sand and getting it everywhere
that's no mom taint, it's a space station, eh
that's no mom taint, eh
that's homo men taint
that's homotainment
you mom's homophobic
that's homophobic
Black Dyke Down
Sonia Manzano, Maria on 'Sesame Street,' to Retire After forty four Years
Kento's homonym, Kento
John "Grimesey" Grimes, a desk clerk based on SPC John "Stebby" Stebbins
unintentional siestas
Blyke Hawke Downe
Colored Goose Down, Cheerio
that's racist
Black GOOSE Down
Black Hawk Down
They went on multiplying in this way until they filled the prison and I lay dying beneath that hemisphere of sand
I dreamt that the grains of sand were three
I slept again
I dreamt I awoke and that on the floor there were two grains of sand
picking up an old book you haven't read for ten years or more and finding to your surprise that you are intimately familiar with the words, even though you can't remember anything much about the book without it open in front of you
In a later episode, Gus O'Mally comes back from Arizona for one night and helps run the bar
Coach tells a customer looking for Gus, the owner of Cheers, that Gus was dead
stealing that chick's bra one time and honestly wishing you hadn't bothered
going to that Cheers bar one time and honestly wishing you hadn't bothered
when you were a kid and you used to hide under the couch so that you could stay up to watch new episodes of Cheers, wicked pissah
don't you mean Cheerios
when you were a kid and you used to hide under the couch so that you could stay up to watch new episodes of Cheers
remembering watching Married Ellipsis With Children when you were like ten years old and feeling it was far too lowbrow for you
the character of Bud Bundy
it was announced that a spin off was in the works, centered on the character of Bud Bundy
I kind of want to
I could tell you the real reason
from hell's heart I watch shitty movies
Uh, no Peg
Al, let's have seeeeex!
remembering the time you watched Anchorman on a flight and wondering who the hell thinks this shit is funny
wondering what got you on this shitty movie kick
Model Crushed To Death In Tragic Orgy
I really don't want to
make Zoolander
being really, really surprised anybody agreed to put up money to make Zoolander
the fashion industry's biggest night, the VHOne Fashion Awards
The Hunger Hunger Hippo Games
a movie about four hippos competing in brutal blood sports to gain a chance at a fabulous banquet
a movie about a boy's quest to make his fortune and avoid jail time
Flatworms Self Fertilize By Injecting Sperm Through Their Heads
There are places where England fall unintentionally apart
fuck my sack face, seriously
fuck July, seriously
my sack face
face
you should go out and buy a huge fan and point it at your and a somewhat smaller fan and point it at your sack
bellowing "HAIRY ELEPHANT!" at Harry Belafonte
milking david malki ! for a rap video
even the flies can't cope
that leaving all the windows open merely seems to have made it as hellish inside as it is outside
passing out in the humidity
passing out in the heat
increasing governmental rag on a stick subsidies
guessing that the Fatworld Parliament is mostly concerned with legislating price ceilings for fried pastry products
Iain Duncan Smith's official parliamentary credit card was suspended after he ran up more than one thousand pounds of woman
violating hugest dumpster confidentiality
Iain Duncan Smith's official parliamentary credit card was suspended after he ran up more than one thousand pounds of women
violating attorney dumpster confidentiality
the death of Nicholas Winton
Ding ding ding oh what was that oh yeah the elevator cause your not on my level
Iain Duncan Smith's official parliamentary credit card was suspended after he ran up more than four hundred and fifty three kilograms in expenses debts
Iain Duncan Smith's official parliamentary credit card was suspended after he ran up more than one thousand pounds in expenses debts
Michael RIPaport
RIP Michael Rapaport
Michael Rapaport died on his way back to his own planet
Poochie died on his way back to his home planet
Tony Siragusa
zaragoza
Eiffel sixty five
Phaseolus vulgaris
KINGSLEY BURNS WITH INFERNAL HATRED KINGSLEY'S ANGER WILL DEVOUR THIS WORLD
Partick Thistle's new mascot Kingsley
Funasshy
Kit Fisto syndrome
M'ho towhunee moonee end zigwa
that thing's operational
Lando Calrissian syndrome
Landau Kleffner syndrome
This corporate fascist must be stopped
California Gov says yes to poisoning more children with mercury and aluminum in manditory vaccines
i'm dying fisting
#FistoisDead
#BatmansParentsAreDead
Terminator Colyn Genisys
#LoveisDead
i'm dying fucking
dancing with the devil in Jack Nicholson's hot tub
a strong case of weakness
neato
this is what it sounds like when swans hoo
considering all Prince albums to be seminal, because of the semen woven into the fabric of them
if you could ask the guys you're sending to put a bag over my head and disappear me to leave the headphones on, that'd be neato
picking Electric Chair
I've never done that but I AM interested in having spent the past sixty seconds pissing around choosing a track from that soundtrack to listen to
dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight
being unable to track down a copy of Domino One
that there's a Mameshiba wiki
Short for Empty Balls, like cumming on someone, in other words, domination
there's eb everywhere
there's tea everywhere
i'm fucking dying
I'm in love with Jyke Housteaue
I'm in love with Jacques Cousteau
wrestling hardons with Russell Harty
it's too damn hot to think
e'll only hurt ourselves if we build dreams That don't come true
not dildos
thinking it's probably time to either make something from the soy in your cupboard or throw it out
a huge asbestos sarcophagus
#WeWankWorf
filling the void with dildos
she saw that there was a void waiting to be filled and she obliged
hand stitching dildos onto a flag
wondering what Bicoid Babe was doing in London
#NewFartWow
God don't like ugly
#WeWantWorf
I spent the morning of London's Pride parade hand stitching dildos onto a flag
I'll be there for you when you look get arrested for masturbating to porn in the public library look you
I created the Isis dildo flag at London Pride to start a dialogue, not get a laugh
good to know
I'll be there for you when you look get arrested for masturbating to porn in the public library
I'll be there for you when the landlord shuts off the gas
the Joey Likes Rachel story arc being the blandest and most depressing of the whole series
F#R#I#E#N#D#S# with B#E#N#E#F#I#T#S#, the show about six half starved wretches trying to survive in New York on minimum wage, government assistance and charity
seriously finding it very hard to believe that Rachel and Joey didn't have a friends with benefits deal from day one
a woman in the sales department published neo Nazi agitprop in her spare time
constantly being amazed by your ability to disgust yourself
Monica put the moistmaker in the middle
the one where Joey and Chandler make a Rachel sandwich
sucking her left one until she had real cum burstin' out of every seam
fermenting Rachel's boobs
just one man protesting for them as an experience he is on screen
real cum burstin' out of every seam
doubting Rachel would go along with it for the sauerkraut
Vladimir Putin's closest allies, including the chairman of OAO
Swan and Superswan
Vladimir Putin's closest allies, including the chairman of OAO Gazprom, a deputy premier and two former ministers, helped one of Russia's largest criminal groups operate out of Spain for more than a decade, prosecutors in Madrid say
just one swan
the same kind of people like both of them
Braff's face is that he nearly constantly urinates on set
it's only wafer thin
just one man
protesting for them
as an experience
he is on screen
realising you totally braff while expelling urine
participating
regrets yesterday
doubting Rachel would go along with it
for the sauerkraut
the "Jewish Political Action Committee" may actually consist of just one man
the Mexican laborers they hired to dress up as Jews and do the protesting for them
having never seen Rushmore but having seen The Life Aquatic and Lost in Translation and assuming it falls somewhere between as an experience
two thousand regrets to go, wooooo!
taking the hugest braff
always confusing Garden State and Rushmore, which is understandable since you have never seen either, but it seems the same kind of people like both of them
he hasn't directed much
wanting to make a Director's Cut of everything Zach Braff has ever directed that simply crops out everything but his face whenever he is on screen
North American Marlon Wayans Look Alikes
wondering if the reason there are so many closeups of Zach Braff's face is that he nearly constantly urinates on set
catching your expression in the mirror while you were peeing and realising you totally braff while expelling urine
walrus bacon
NAMWLA
wanting to make Kento a sloppy joe sandwich for his birthday but not being able to talk the New Jersey National Guard into participating
that's so weird, I just remembered that whole raft of NAMBLA regrets yesterday
wanting to make Kento a Rachel sandwich for his birthday, but doubting Rachel would go along with it
The Rachel sandwich is a variation on the standard Reuben sandwich, substituting pastrami for the corned beef, and coleslaw for the sauerkraut
Star Trek Beyond
homosexuals denying that it is 'not gay' to be attracted to adolescent boys are just as ludicrous as heterosexuals saying it's 'not heterosexual' to be attracted to adolescent girls
a flowing river of illusion running with confusion
LEO the lion says GER
mime porn
Mimal the Elf
Run over your granny because it's violent
many broths were fingerbanged to bring us this information
I never understood it
what about it
eight seven seven four four
some say I'm ill, sick as a parrot, bone chilled
while gruel, consomme, bouillon, and bisque look on
drawing a picture of Carrie Fisher making out with broth
tearing me apart like a new emotion
raining in my head like a tragedy
falling on my head like a new emotion
falling on my head like a memory
the truthe which will refresh my broken mind
the truth which will refresh my broken mind
broth
When your home planet was destroyed a few days ago but you get to make out with your brothe
that the only one you've managed to get a perfect score on is January sixteenth twenty fifteen
just not being good enough
The Billionaire's Vinegar
That can't happen until both Bob and I are dead
if would have got one at least if it had been squid's milk
that one chick just screamed crack pipe
I got three
Oops! You got O out of V correct
Match the arrestee with the item allegedly found hidden inside their vagina
in a less backhanded way, they aren't bad films, mostly, but it's getting to you a little bit
it's not that they're bad films
wondering who even eats a quarter watermelon, then remembering eight one three two eight
Neta Lee Hershlag
Pokemon Really Not This and Really Not That
really not this and really not that
really not wanting to watch either Thor movie purely because you've got this far without doing so, thinking you had a damn good excuse not to
really not being sure watching all her damn movies is a good idea any more, having just realised you left "No Strings Attached" off the list and suspecting you also have a Ryan Reynolds performance to struggle to stay awake through
that Natalie Portman owes her career to horny teenagers, so there is some connection
it's the way they all look so eager and you've actually learned to distance yourself from the arousal factor enough to spot who's faking, who's really, really good at faking, and who's thinking about what they're going to spend the money on
honestly it's getting kind of boring
nine seven nine four five being answered by nine seven five four four
I probably don't want to watch that
nearly shitting your pants just now as the quarter watermelon you ate yesterday decided it wanted to come out all at once
wondering what to watch tonight
wondering why kids would have sex in the back of a bus now of all times in history, what with all the cameras likely to be available to record it, and then thinking you probably answered your own question
she could have progeria
there was nothing dry about it
it was a dry wind and it swept across the desert and it curled into the circle of birth
A female high school student pleaded guilty this afternoon to striking a younger pupil who "began to laugh and chuckle" when she "expelled wind from the vulva" while having sex in the back of a Pennsylvania school bus
Incensed that an eleven year old boy was practicing the clarinet in a neighboring backyard, a Colorado woman allegedly pointed a rifle at the child and yelled, "Fire in the hole!," police allege
The renowned physicist, seventythree, follows in the footsteps of the artist Grayson Perry and Burma's opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi in delivering the Radio IV lecture
Queen's Guard draws gun on 'stupid jerk' tourist who touched him
Coming Thursday Colon Katie Couric's exclusive interview with Skrillex
Walmart Apologizes for Making ISIS Cake for Man Denied Confederate Flag Design
a most peculiar man
screwing things up with that sexy librarian you dated
"As we watched these graphic pictures fill our screens, wide eyed, no one said a word, except for Justice O'Connor, who lowered her head, squinted slightly, and muttered, 'Oh, my'"
The clerks were older and not well versed in the Internet, so court librarians set up a tutorial for the justices and their clerks on how easy it was to find porn online
Due to the recent derogatory statements by Donald Trump regarding immigrants, NBCU is ending its business relationship with Mr Trump
it's not all work, work, work
Suddenly Love Zone
Alexandria's Genesis
Leslie Sebastian Charles
Electro shock faders
a kickin' pair of trainers
insulting the Turkvizyon Song Contest
the Turkvizyon Song Contest
waffles is the centerfold
you've got waffles you've got waffles on your mind
saying "Who am I to meet Brian Peppers"
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Madeleine Albright, all right in a sort of a limited way for an off night
waffles, they're waffley waffletastic
Bird's Eye Potato Waffles, they're waffley frightening to trypophobes!
along with so many inconsequential things
being sure that it will now surface within your own mind and haunt you to your grave
trying to listen to "Utterly Forgettable Eurovision Entry" and not understanding how anyone could possibly remember more than the irritating lyrics of a waffle ad from thirty years ago
double both
this whole situation is waffley confusing
damn it, either
by "both" do you mean people who are fans of both either Eurovision or Birds Eye Potato Waffles, or people who are the intersection of the two fanbases
both
reading the headline "Fans accuse UK's Eurovision entry of ripping off nineteen eighties Birds Eye Potato Waffles adverts" and wondering if the fans are of Eurovision or of Birds Eye Potato Waffles
Bird's Eye Potato Waffles, they're waffley versatile!
Pommes gaufrettes
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Brian Peppers
she looked me over and I guess she thought I was all right, all right in a sort of a limited way for an off night
Pokemon Bruce and Lance and Julian
like when a clown dies
One Size Fits All Lingeries
in Adipemundi omnis vivimus
in Pokemundus omnis vivimus
Pokemundus
Pokemon sed interim ludimus & bibimus fortiter
sed interim ludimus & bibimus fortiter
we work hard, we play hard
nth dreamboat
damn bat rot, eh
bad anthem rot
mantra bet, d'oh
hot bent drama
hotter bad man
marathon debt
matron bathed
that doberman
tell anal DP
Lisa cedes NES bra
you're like a flower that grew out of a pot of dirt
an elevator is called a "lift", a mile is called a "kilometer" and botulism is called "steak and kidney pie"
A man named Calvin Wank was arrested Saturday morning at an upstate New York truck stop after several drivers reported seeing him "committing sexually lewd acts while in the parking lot," according to police
Thompson's charge for going to her hotel room was $one hundred, Grant only had $sixty on him, so they agreed she would perform her service in the car
that's true
Yeah, well we saved your ass in World War III
you know, we saved your ass in World War II
I wanted this to be perfect for you, I know you Americans like everything to be fireworks
A Florida motorist said she suffered from a "medical condition that makes her age faster" when a suspicious cop questioned her claim that she was twenty two, according to a police report
I took loom in high school
#nastybogloot
#glastonbooty
a rabid mouse in Boston who attacked and killed a small cat riding the dick of hate
a rabid mouse in Boston who attacked and killed a small cat
riding the dick of hate
A Florida landscaper is jailed on felony animal cruelty charges for deliberately driving a large riding mower over a group of ducklings, according to court records
A Florida man is facing a felony charge after allegedly battering a female relative because he "did not agree with the way she was cooking hard boiled eggs," police report
a Dalek's right to choose
that's not a word
EXTERPOLATE EXTERPOLATE
Star Trek XII So Very Tired
impregnating a Dalek
impersonating a Dalek
A Florida woman has been charged with engaging in sexual activity with her pit bull, according to cops who found photos of the canine encounters stored on the suspect's cell phone
still not having seen Man of Steel and being fundamentally confused as to who is left that could possibly be excited for another Superman and or Batman movie
it was still better than Man of Steel
Super drunk Florida man arrested for posing like Superman without pants on, public urination colon cops
Arkansas Cops Hunt Man Seen Masturbating Outside Kum & Go Convenience Store
Man pooed on council office floor in protest at 'dwarf discrimination'
Angry dwarf is jailed for putting a sucker dart on his head and impersonating a Dalek
Dick Oranges, the quintessential Florida Man
Florida man Dick Oranges bit a store employee and swung a knife at him during a confrontation over stolen clothing, police said
A woman dialled nine nine nine to call police from a hairdresser's because her new haircut was "a mess", one of Yorkshire's four forces has revealed
Vernon Dick Blower
dying of endoscopy
dying of endometriosis
Glastonbury fan flies Kim Kardashian sex tape flag during Kanye's act
sucking her left one until she had a Cumburst
skipping down Cumburst Lane
gobbling down Cumburst like candy
bottoming for Benddick Cumburstbatch in Unexplainably Juicy VII
Cumburst, Unexplainably Juicy
Hell Kitty is not a taco
Kit Fisto is not alive
Kit Hellcat is not a toy
Hello Kitty is not a cat
If the sailor moves, that crouching badger will attack him
hope being crushed by a giant anchor
Confederate Yugoslavia
Kansas has died of dysentery
This flag is uncomfortably intense, like Daniel Boone just wishes he knew how to quit you, Henry Clay
Jessie Kahnweiler
We average the British and American flags, but with a hint of Yugoslavia!
Links between the Calabrian Mafia and senior politicians on both sides of Australia's political fence have been uncovered in a joint investigation by Four Corners and Fairfax newspapers, crikey
kiss Myge Ritze
Fucking Austria, crikey
Fucking Austria
winning Fucking, Austria
winning fucking
fucking winning
get naked
kiss my grits
I could bitch over troubled water
not dancing with anyone
one of these testimonies is not like the other
one of these testimonies is false
none of these testimonies is false
esoteric mithridatism
Amrit paane se pahle Vish pinna padta hai
Halahala
steelo
wondering what a city wok could do
wondering what a city boy could do
Saint Remigius, Archbishop of Reims
Hit squad to thwart strikes against cuts
to see the earth through painted eyes
drought in the night life
We appear to have had a launch vehicle failure
going down on the bakers, to get the first bread of the morning
gooogling instead of binging
wanking with ghost dinosaurs
walking with ghost dinosaurs
just walking with a ghost
feeeling instead of being
refreshing ye page
you don't breathe, so you can't leave
these waking blues
these walking blues
pickling coins
reason
drawing a picture of Stephen Fry berating Kento for biting his steelo
dying of Stephen Fright
being words on a page
being kind of down recently
Tama chan really emerged like a saviour, a goddess
playing it big 'cause our world made it easy to
in all fairness, I did admit to being a fucking wanker
going down to the bakers, to get the first bread of the morning
there's more to life than this
this is just sad
the things you hear standing around braffing at the supermarket
Shafters, the new bar and grill for redneck women
acting out because it doesn't matter
good one, me
ha ha ha ha ha
wondering if you would be any good at it
thinking about becoming a female impersonator for no real reason
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon loosing a juiced moose on Kento's caboose
laying about in bed reading
lying around in bed reading
waxing Stephen Fry's balls
having an owly ankle
shaving an owy ankle
having an owy ankle
having a hurty foot
if we power through we can be at ninety eight thousand today
having the time of your life twocking twats, signed, Roman Polanski
getting so much use out of "if you're gonna spew, spew into this" that it almost made up for it
projectile vomit in an airport lounge
rowdy roddy seamen
cold butter
that time you were overseas with your sister and she gave herself a staph infection by reusing her water bottles, so in addition to near constant heatstroke you also had to deal with that
dreaming about Kento peeling horribly from being sauteed in hot butter
dreaming about peeing horribly from not reading the label on sun lotion
dreaming about peeling horribly from not reading the label on sun lotion
not eating a good person at all
getting emails about 'struggling families', stop that this is serious, and thinking "families are they, rich in spirit if not in worldly wealth are they, where's my parade, man, what about the also rans, where's our social media campaign, man"
having the file of your mite
wanting to make Kento a hot buttered roll for his birthday
hot butter, comin' through
a semen dowry
drowsy enema
rowdy seamen
butt rot, eh
hot butter
twocking twats
having the time of your life
empty as a pocket with nothing to lose
la providence et la jeunesse ne durent jamais ca je l'ai appris a mes depends
looking for the fight of your life
being super tempted to delete every mpthree in your library and start over
not being a good person at all
anybody who is anybody will soon walk through that door
feeling part of the scenery
except for man, all creatures are immortal, for they are ignorant of death
I'll build you a kingdom in that house on the hill
pressing flowers in a copy of Flowers in the Attic and leaving it in the attic
it's all over now, puppy blue
trying to watch films you don't really want to watch when you're in a bad mood anyway
it's over now
doesn't matter
I have no fucking clue what you're talking about
the greatest court of all, Food Court
Ely cathedral again
SERIOUS MEN, SERIOUS HORSES
Lady Roachford, being an extra, gets no speaking scenes and also doesn't get to sing "Cuddly Toy", which is a goddamned shame
Jane Seymour just told Anakin
it's OK, he's not into girls
it's almost as bad as those creepy kids who get locked in an attic and start a weird British hillbilly clan up there
she's gonna fuck her brother
ewwwww
the tattoo of the confederate flag I got on my left ass cheek
lerl
she is a witch
Kilroy woz married 'ere
sexposition scenes
Ely long stay car park
Ely Waitrose
Ely cathedral
giving up saddles for political power
it's good news for Kento
the queen no longer bleeds
palinopsia
l'homme qui rit
HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED
idee fixe
rubbing one out in the royal chapel
Scarlett Johansson pregnant in bed with her brother
Michael Smiley out of nowhere
it's like someone took all the male actors aside and told them to act flaccider
it's like someone took all the male actors aside and told them to act harder
improper intimacies
serious men on serious horse rides
sizing to the queen
finding her attractive
when you sleep with the king it ceases to be a private matter
regal sex with kingyguy can'trememberhisname
understanding that Scarlett Johansson is attractive, but not finding her attractive
it's in the book
any second now he's going to say "arse, gob, pussy, gob, pussy, arse, and if I've got any left, tits"
where the king of England sleeps
catching the eye of Henry Percy's percy
Jane Parker, Daily Bugle
singing to the queen
Scarlett Johansson with Homer Simpson's vacant expression singing to the queen
#fuck
were a was bear
were a were bear
that the way this story is developing you wouldn't be entirely surprised if the king was a were bear
very stupid kings
matching ugly coats
you might just say, 'dang, those good ol' boys ain't so dumb after all'
disappointing sex with Benedict Cumberbatch
she's anything butt
trying to work out if that's Framlingham from a whirly shot
all the men are super dramatic about everything
God, guns, grits and gravy
the accent is much improved
"I'm the other Boleyn girl, WOOO HELLO LONDON ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOOCK!"
to get ahead in this world you need more than fair looks and a kind heart
the Colombia Pictures chick
Super Maria Sisters
and your crippling lack of a swan's feelers
and your crippling lack of self awareness
actually getting heatstroke really easily, probably because you never had to learn to deal with long term high temperatures
Perpetual twilight in the UK 'is putting Brits at risk of never being burned'
Confusing labels on sunscreen bottles 'are putting Brits at risk of being burned'
love and tradition of the grand design some people say it's even harder to find
if your life doesn't turn out the way you want there's someone else to blame
I still would be married to you, but you would just be hotter
you should be proud that children everywhere blah blah blah, bling bling bling blah
summer returns and reaches right out and touches the sky
summer returns and puts you back on my mind
you don't feel you could love me but I feel you could
gum butts
bottoming for Tom Hardon in Star Trek Colon Reamasis
yes, have sweat
VERY Wrigley
i imgur com RwIcisevenn jpg
a veet wash
vast awe, eh
have sweat
heatwaves
bottoming for Teresa Reamus in Star Trek Colon Nemesis
that the first girl you ever finger banged was named Teresa Remus
that the first girl you ever finger banged was named Teresa Romulus
that the first girl you ever finger banged was named Teresa
Romulus
all I see is the Boonta Eve Classic, dead podracers burstin' out of every seam, yippee
real love bursting out of Uncle Phil, if you know what I mean
all I see is a tower of dreams, dead terrorists burstin' out of every window, yippee ki ay motherfucker
the ten video game characters who spoon Jewel's boobs
the ten video game characters who look a lot like Christina Ricci
the ten video game offenders who look like sex characters
the ten sex offenders who look like video game characters
mazal
amor fati
every day is just the same and I don't know what to do
I think he still hates me for finger banging Teresa
finger banging
by 'study for finals', he means finger bang in the backseat of his Kia Sorrento
Often taking waaaaay longer than he needs to towel off, Snake never misses a chance to tell you that you should call him 'Snake'
the ten video game characters who look like sex offenders
Star Fox Colon Assault
kismet
Slippy Toad
okay, that one actually turned out way grosser than I expected
all I see is an Eiffel Tower of reams, real cum burstin' out of every seam
all I see is a tower of dreams, real love burstin' out of every seam
the system is down
light switch raves
i imgur com rEQfivesixbp gif
vacillating between two mutually exclusive, maddening and inconsequential theories like the flicking of a lightswitch
not letting de elevator bring you down
it must seem rude but that's not an attitude
AN IMAGE FROZEN OF FULECO TRAVELLING THROUGH TIME
an image frozen of you traveling through time
my eyes are dreaming
it's a fucking wanker eat fucking wanker world
like a fucking wanker
obliging
sitting in a pub being mocked by your friends for telling them what you did on your holidays, like six months earlier, during which time literally every time they saw you they asked you to repeat the tale
being a dog with an imagination
wankers you went with
Never know if he's giving you up
not being sure you're becoming a more capable individual
'cause now it's hey mambo
being like a stray dog that builds a Heath Robinson machine to kick itself because it imagines this is what happens to dogs with owners
being like a dog that waits to be kicked
seeing a film again for the first time since it was on general release and kind of remembering it, but mostly remembering how uncomfortable it was in the theater and what a bunch of fucking wankers you went with
it's not terrible
stealing a steam powered rhea from Stephen Rea
preparing a big gay train full of exploding roses for someone to bury you in
feeling like almost everything after the prison scene is DVD extras
we can just sleep in your bed together, since we are such good platonic friends and I know you won't try anything
making a terrible mistake with terrible consequences that are inconsequential to anyone else, even the other party involved
justneckbeardthings
just continually imagining V underneath the mask as Comic Book Guy
public demand for Hobbit pork is sky high
getting my hopes up for a Silmarillion quintology
Unenthusiastic Actors Having Bland Conversations in Front of a Green Screen Colon Episode I
Expository Dialogue Colon The Movie
collywaffles
collywobbles
that you were thinking of The Storyteller, not Jackanory
dramatic thunderstorms
being sent to HMP Matte Painting
B for Breastgasm
W for Waffletastic
Z for Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
P for Podcaster
W for Walrus
ah sweah
using your illusion of coincidence II
illusion of coincidence, eh
he Bart, he
he illusion of coincidence
drawing a picture of Hugo Weaving and Sam Neill weaving their penises together, do you think he saurus
going to a walrus for help
honestly finding some of the native English accents unintelligible at times, like whatever that guy said about "fernerlernemh"
possibly being a little bit tone deaf
always thinking Hugo Weaving is actually Sam Neill
Big Fucking Ben
more like Chancellor BUTTERER, amirite
it's a very solid accent, it's just not what it's sold as
headcanoning Evey as South African, which kind of works for both the accent and her being in London
wondering how many neckbeards have decorated their parent's garage to look like V's lair over the last nine years
if they had Detective Somerset out of SeSEVENen, this would be over by now, but he's black so you guess that's actually par
Boom Shaq Alaq
hurting John Hurt in the john
Shaq
turns out it's Stephen Fry and he's let himself go
Kento's biggest role to date
being certain John Hurt used to read Jackanory but it not apparently being true
honestly not understanding how this masked bellend caught on
witnessing first hand the powah of ideahs
chain chain chain, chain of dicks
making a daisy chain with Dick Cheney
seeing Dick Cheney with a Chinese menu in his hand
drawing a picture of Warren Zevon being Big Benned by Lon Chaney and a werewolf
if we're having so much fun, how come I'm crying every Monday
mancriminating wildly, just because you were told not to
another victory for the Queen's Guard over an ignorant tourist
predicting a noshing
you always want to form the head
I'll form the head
Wonder Twin powers, activate!
forming an Eiffel Tower
chasing cockroaches in wee little evening coats around your apartment
chasing cockroaches around your apartment naked
twocking riot, RIOT! throw back a bottle of beer
twocking riots
rhino ingots
noshing riot
onion rights
In forming an Eiffel Tower two people and a walrus become something greater than they once were
In forming Lama urination, two people become something greater than they once were
opening the door for onion tapir marriage
In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than they once were
suspecting that the lyrics to Werewolves Of London were improvised and recorded in one take
werewolves of London
I thought that Nick Clegg had a penchant for howling like a werewolf at press conferences or something
okay
lousy timing, always
the joke is that Nick Clegg was deputy prime minister and basically reviled, presiding over the collapse of his own party in coalition, while Ed Miliband was leader of the opposition, presiding over an election loss against an incumbent nobody likes
A court has suspended the UK's fast track asylum appeals system after a legal challenge by a charity that says it is "cat furry slut urinal"
lousy timing, again
I kind of play along with your UK politics jokes just because its the polite thing to do, but I really don't know enough about it to get that one
A court has suspended the UK's fast track asylum appeals system after a legal challenge by a charity that says it is "structurally unfair"
oh my god it's Nick Clegg
having literally OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO before
having literally been gone before
having literally taken me on before
having literally taken on me before
having literally fallen into a ha ha before is funny
having literally fallen into a ha ha before
is funny
haha, child abuse if funny
drawing picture of Kevin Clash putting the Elmo puppet on his penis while a fifteen year old boy dances around in the Big Bird costume
I liked big boobs before they sold out
finding lately that you have developed a fetish for Big Bird's legs, which kind of surprises you because you've never had any fetishes before beyond mild preferences for glasses and big boobs, which are fairly mainstream
big boobs are pretty obscure, you wouldn't have heard of them
big boobs, which are fairly mainstream
it started with six seven six nine nine
finding lately that you have developed a fetish for striped thigh high stockings, which kind of surprises you because you've never had any fetishes before beyond mild preferences for glasses and big boobs, which are fairly mainstream
SocialRancors dot com, the dating site for gigantic hideous outer space vegan carnivores
SocialRancors dot com, the dating site for gigantic hideous outer space carnivores
Social Rancors
Sir Rascal Coon
Casino Corrals
Raccoons' Lairs
Carolina Cross
wanting to make Kento a croque madame for his birthday
Upper Class Walrus
it's not the teat, it's the timidity
it's not the heat, it's the humidity
that it's only like twenty degrees outside but you have the air conditioning on
Stacy's mom has got the reamer's disease
reaming Stacy's mom
ripping Stacy's mom
going down on the road to a brand new place and getting there with a smile on your face
going down the road to a brand new place and getting there with a smile on your face
RIP Stacy's mom
Stacy's mom has died of dysentery
Stacy's mom has got dysentery
watching Myke Lawke
we got dysentery on the barroom tile
we got dysentery
it's surprisingly contagious
we got the reamers' disease
the Village Walrus depicts a friendly Eiffel Towering match that helped foster good relations between the whites and fat gay Asians
we got the dreamers' disease
being torn by Myke Hawke
you should eat something
that tears it, I'm going to bed
that's it, I'm going to bed
Myke Hawke's grotesquely swolken jaw
the Village Seal depicts a friendly wrestling match that helped foster good relations between White and the Indians
we're talking Homer, Ozzie and the Straw
Steve Sax and his run in with the law
Ken Griffey 's grotesquely swollen jaw
Mattingly and Canseco
talking softball
from Maine to San Diego
we're talking softball
on the barroom tile
while Wade Boggs lay unconscious
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile
with Roger Clemens clucking all the while
the power plant had won it
well Mr Burns had done it
in the freezer, the mighty freezer, Food Lion sleeps tonight
just now realising that 'Menudo' breaks down into 'men u do"
LORD PALMERSTON logs!
Pitt the Elder Logs
Myke Gawker
maybe I'll just shut Myke "Big" Hawke
maybe I'll just shut my big mouth
Mr Glaske Hawke
Mr Glasscock
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way
also, fuck you
one five six two six
Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphioparaomelitokatakechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon
you've inherited a finger condition known as stubbiness
"This is something the Internet needs to see!" he said to himself, before awkwardly masturbating to his own article
we can finish this tonight, you and I, if we try hard enough
just now realizing that we passed ninety seven thousand
finding yourself on a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on a throne of blood, rolling for Daemonic Instability at the end of the Fight sub phase of the enemy Assault phase
finding yourself on a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on a throne of blood
finding yourself on a beautiful horse, riding a beautiful bike
finding yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife, being asked how you got in and who the hell you are
UTwo Amherst students
yumass Amherst students
Multi year communities are designed to provide sophomores, juniors and seniors with enriching experiences, autonomy and self discovery, continued learning and connections with a diverse group of UMass Amherst students
Urged by a speech given by various members of suite DCCIX Brown, several hundred revelers and would be rioters congregated and began what would be known as the largest on campus snowball fight in the history of the University
some days I don't fit in my own skin
Pokemon What's Up and C'Mon Buddy
Food was served in abundance and various carnival events such as bouncy houses were strategically placed along the trod
Pokemon Tired and Emotional
Even though seven oh nine is just one suite inside a building, the suite also represents the heart and soul of the building and the area
A person who defines supreme confidence, nearly divine ability, and a frequent disregard for authority
A cornhole that goes over the top of a blocker and into the hole
I don't see how I can give Gari a cock ring if I can't get hold of him, so to speak
I meant you could give him a cock ring
I'm not even sure I still have the handset that number was associated with
you could give Garee a ring
Spambot seems like he would be down for stuff like that
there's always our lurker
wondering who will be our third cord
little girls can do it, it can't be any harder than being drugged and repeatedly violated by a famous movie director in Jack Nicholson's hot tub
you need three pieces of string or cord or something and a diagram and ten minutes to practice it
sincerity that's bonerfied
nine zero two six five
it's easy when you know how
sincerity that's bonafide
okay, fine, you're going to have to do the braiding
it's the universe trying to tell us something
we sure do talk a lot about gay sex here
drawing a picture of Hayden Christensen being rooted out by Thomas Haden Church as the Sandman
the Carry On films' brutal tactics of burying anyone with a British accent up to their necks in sand in order to root out a laugh from the audience
the New Republic's brutal tactics of burying anyone with a British accent up to their necks in sand in order to root out Imperial sympathizers
far out east in deserts there's a vein of inky gold
verily he has looked on the Tiger
I don't feel better, in a funny sort of way
Star Wars Episode VIII Colon Lemon Party
Han Solo, as elderly as he has become, takes the jizz of over two dozen men in one particularly memorable scene
being set after Antisand Skywalker's redemption and death, the new Star Wars movies are free to show their characters liberally enjoying jizz, in the Rebel base, at a cantina, in the Senate, or even in the Millennium Falcon
wondering if the new Star Wars sequels will be packed with as much jizz as the original, or if they will just be more of the prequels' antisand screed
meaning my face
it needed to be more in your face
it jizzed, it just fell short
some say, if you only dive deep enough, you might find a hidden pearl, if you know what I mean
this is actually a really good film, it just doesn't jizz
some say, if you only dive deep enough, you might find a hidden pearl
stealing that guy's hat from the communal laundry room
Jason Butterman
wondering if the thing that Bono still hasn't found that he was looking for was a machine washable hat that doesn't stain easily
never doing anything with your life
you are a block of wood
drawing a picture of UTwo jerking off into Bono's favorite hat
needs more yeast
this is actually a really good film, it just doesn't fizz
four closet homosexuals bonding over their love of hats, EL E VA TION!!!
two closet homosexuals bonding over their love of hats
triskaidekaphobia
being such a precocious friendless big eared boring kid that you try to make friends with an accountant
Lord Palmerston Logs
finally discovering what Lincoln Logs are
the precocious friendless big eared kid has the power to warp reality
it's Dave, Dave Wolf
flapdoodle
apartments that must smell like zebra shit
this thing is regret gold
people who talk to toy stores
films narrated by friendless, precocious canines
films narrated by friendless, precocious children
Jason Bateman butter eat excellent
films that are racist against grown men who sleep with dollies
Jason Bateman better eat excellent
Jason Bateman better be excellent
quirky animated titles on a live action film
eat somebody vegan or eat somebody's vegan fool
eat somebody or eat somebody's fool
be somebody or be somebody's fool
be something
then from outer space a spotty man
eat something
Rump Spot T
having not eaten anything for twenty two hours so maybe writing about food is not a good idea
Bottom Trumps
Top Trumps
trying to do an Orson Welles promo for Trump Steaks but just not being able to get it out
Trump University
the New Jersey Generals
TRUMP STEAKS
The Lion King of Scotland
Who Wants to Be King of Scotland
we also have Boris Johnson
he almost bought Scotland
if you ever start thinking your country is dumb, just remember that the chance of it ever being ruled by Donald Trump is virtually nil
He said all of them, "from piss to fuck"
Agatha Christie's The Story of the Twocked Knickers
Soul Food Lion
Hole Food Lion
Partial Food Lion
twocking would also have been acceptable
Whole Food Lion
I should have said nicking
stealing that bird's knickers from the communal utility room, cheerio
New York City says Whole Foods is supercharging customers
Where London
this country is dumb
at the time it was explained as "foreigners are offended by our British chocolate bars"
Mars decided recently to change the name back to Snickers because they wanted to have uniform names in all markets for their flagship brands
In the UK, the name was changed to the Marathon Bar, since "snickers" rhymed with Knickers, which is a word for women's underwear
Where the Walrus Dongs Have No Name
that Snickers are Marathons but Marathons are Curly Wurlies
Where the Walrus Dongs Are
Mr Magorium's Contrabulous Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery of Professor VJ Parnassus
it passes the time
just now figuring out that you're on a Natalie Portman marathon
paying for that implant
they're probably pretty difficult to steal
paying for those implants
Boa Lube AMA
a moa bauble
LaBeoubama
Wagging his finger and shaking his head, Obama said, "No, no, no, no, no," repeating the word more than a dozen times
Whole Foods responds with "that's the whole fucking point you dumb shits, it's called conspicuous consumption"
New York City says Whole Foods is overcharging customers
I like big butt steak and I cannot lie
Sirloinalot
he's not in this one
just watch to the part where Heath Ledger dies
trying to decide whether to shower and go to bed "early" or stay up stinking and watching Professor VJ Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery
if you stay real quiet, you can hear Kento in the walrus enclosure from here
exclaiming "thank FUCK for gorilla ass" at half two in the morning
exclaiming "thank FUCK for gorilla glass" at half two in the morning
Key Party Monday
Mangoo Fett
Boner Fett
Wedge Manwillies
C Three Peehole
Grand Muff Fuckin
Gorge Lickass
it would be kind of depressing, if you weren't George Lucas
Darth Ball
that probably goes for a lot of the regrets
guessing that we're probably the only two people in the world who think this is funny
Nude Cumspray
we've clearly missed our calling in life
Qui Cum Chinn
Nudi Girlia
Scroda
Ass "Fuckme" Anuse
Semenbullba
inflammation
many blowthans died to bring you this information
Mound Mothma
Mons Mouthma
Kit Fisto is still dead, and not the good kind where you get to come
Oxford, commas
trying to exercise character names from Star Wars at all
Plow Poon
trying to exercise and remember character names from Star Wars simultaneously
Cunt Fisto
Plugga the Butt
Chewcocka
Hand Homo
Randy Calrisian
Anus Skin Mykehawker
Spoonme Amidala
Obi Wank Enobi
Kit Reamo
guessing that after the battle of Endor all people with British accents had to do to avoid scrutiny was claim to be related to Obi Wan Kenobi
fist in peace, Kit Rippo
wondering what kind of discrimination people with British accents faced under the new regime post Battle of Endor
RIP in peace Kit Fisto
Kit Fisto is still dead, and not the good kind where you get to come back as a meddling, preachy ghost
if the Empire had really been serious about stamping out the Rebels, they would have arrested anything found wearing a waistcoat
being honestly disappointed they're not Kit Fisto and Elan Sleazebaggano
'Star Wars VII' Leaked Photos May Reveal The Return Of Two More Characters From The Original Trilogy
you're going to become a procrastinator
It was seriously about ten seconds from now
I'm you five minutes from now
making a two hundred million dollar summer blockbuster of Shia LaBeouf being facereamed by Grimlock
I was just about to write that
Shia LaBeouf's one hundred and fifteenth Ream
Shia LaBeouf's Ream
Tiny Tapas Tiger
Supermassive Nourishment Elephant
there's a little bluff on the savannah of Zimbabwe where the antelope gather in great herds, every rainy season Giant Food Lion stalks and kills the oldest, slowest, weakest members of the herd and freezes the old, slow, weak flavor right to you
a giant sand fool
Giant Food Aslan
Giant Food Voltron
getting Ahold by Giant Food Lion
Actor Shia LaBeouf suffers ream injury on film set
Giant Food Lion
European owners of Giant, Food Lion plan to combine
Actor Shia LaBeouf suffers head injury on film set Ream
Actor Shia LaBeouf suffers head injury on film set
Ream
wondering how many DP Rem Sins they've made so far
Zach Cera, sera
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the top in the new DP Ream Sin
stealing that Zach's braff from the communal laundry room
stealing that girl's ob la di, ob la da, life goes on bra from the communal laundry room
central nervous system lymphatic vessels
we beg, steal or borrow to make all we can in the sun
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new DP Ream Sin
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new Denis Pram
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new Spine Dram
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new Mr Penis Ad
the new interpretation of Venom is a quirky, outwardly naive but internally judgemental and wordly wise neet who spends his time wandering from one subcomedic set piece to the next, all in extreme close up
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new Derma Pins
Zach Braff as Venom
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new Mad Sniper
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new Snared Imp
Spider Man berating a monarchy
momentarily believing Michael Cera had been cast as the new Spider Man
berating a monarchy
beating a monarchy
eating a monarchy
being a monarchy
there will be a new King George someday, after all
wondering if President Trump would be just the wake up call we need to dump this whole silly democracy thing and go back to being a monarchy
orange buisness
one bit into an apple, thought it was too sweet
crocodooladoo is good family name
phat gay omens
creepy borderline pedophelic behavior but I do love pictures of wondering if, when his presidential bid falls flat again, Donald Trump will join the cast of the Simpsons to replace Mr Burns
creepy borderline pedophelic behavior but I do love pictures of
wondering if, when his presidential bid falls flat again, Donald Trump will join the cast of the Simpsons to replace Mr Burns
I feel so dirty for reading that shithole of mysogony, racism and creepy borderline pedophelic behavior but I do love pictures of cats getting their heads stuck in jars
Donald Trump says African American youths have 'no homo'
Commons officials told broadcasters not to film the protest, which continued outside in Westminster's central lobby
Donald Trump says African American youths have 'no spirit'
Ryan and Dan Kowarsky later admitted the song was about oral sex
A frustrated shoemaker finds a magical sewing machine that allows him to see the world in a new way by stepping into the lives of his customers
you've really got a nerve and all you wanna do is flirt
I've lost track of all time 'cause you're always on my mind
this is too much for me to handle
Kento The Fountainhead Intimate Douche
Atlas Scrubbed
Kento Atlas Shrugged Exfoliating Scrub
Kento's ill fated attempt to introduce a line of objectivism themed body care products
Kento Anthem Soap
Kento's meat pan ho
Kento's a phat omen
Kento's a tampon, eh
Kento's haptonema
IafdLeaks
being taught not to go off with strangers by Dick Van Patten
Skinny Jeans Can Lead to Nerve and Muscle Damage, Doctors Say
The United States wiretapped France's current president Francois Hollande, as well as former presidents Jacques Chirac and Nicolas Sarkozy, according to WikiLeaks
the death of James Horner
reddit being the biggest shithole humanity has ever created
the death of Darth Van Patten
the death of Dick Van Patten
having ELEVEN minute mammaries
writing eukaryotic fiction
having ten minute mammaries
those really fat, gay Asian rice noodles
having a ten minute memory
buona sera, signorina, buona sera
interpreting the next regret as a review of a porno
pot au feu
standing and staring for quite a while, then a lion singing to you and smiling
pho
those really wide, flat Vietnamese rice noodles
after this is done you'll be a better person, meaning me, not you, you'll be essentially unchanged
one down, six to go
noodles with kimchee could be called kimchee noodles
feeling iffy from sodium
not being sure if kimchee noodles is a contradiction in terms
tests have consistently shown lead in Maggi noodles to be within safe limits
being briefly into kimchee noodles until you realised how much sodium you were getting from them
Masturbating Dog Magoo
this is what the regret index is for
eating a kimchee rice bowl for dinner and finally understanding that regret about puking in bed
all the difficult framing and editing decisions Zach Braff must have made about when to momentarily not show his vast, expressionless face in close up for just a second
douche montages
he's explaining that he's putting an ellipsis at the end of their relationship, and she hasn't just started laughing and walking away
thinking maybe the final denouement might have more impact if they spent any time at all really fluffing the father's genitals
the timing of that one wasn't as I intended, but it works too
interpreting that last regret as a review of a porno
now he's making out with his father
thinking maybe the final denouement might have more impact if they spent any time at all really developing the father's character
it may literally be twenty minutes of making out
I've never really found black chicks to be attractive
Sack Rash
Zach Braff and Michael Cera making out
if they just spend the next twenty minutes making out I'm going to die
bottoming for Sack Braff in Back Garden State VII
Pokemon Zach Braff and Michael Cera
remaking Planes, Trains & Automobiles with Zach Braff and Michael Cera
remaking FaceOff with Michael Cera and Zach Braff
wondering how much a film in which Michael Cera and Zach Braff just stand in a room facing each other with their creepy, unchanging expressions for ninety minutes would gross
the entire state is one vast Olive Garden
it's also literally called Olive Garden State
in fatworld Zach Braff finds it even easier to fill the screen with braffing
wondering how different Garden State is in fatworld
Zachary Israel Braff
going to look up Zach Braff on wikipedia but typing "iafd" instead of "wiki" after his name
Zachor Braffcaster O'Dirge
someone stole my Wolf Blitzer
Braff braffing
it really is unnerving just how many shots are close ups of Zach Braff braffing
Garden State II Colon Braff Harder
the clapper joke was good
not regrettting liveregrettting Garden Stattte
ttt
liveregrettting Garden State
having never seen Gander Teats
Swan Garden
Olive Swan
she's really carrying Braff through this funeral shit
Olive Gander
Tantra's The Edge
Tantra's Edge is the worst Sting movie ever made, but the UTwo cameo is worth it
bottoming for Sting for twelve hours straight in Tantra's Edge VII
starting to think that Sam's house and Garden State in general are part of some cultural touchstone you just kind of missed, but the house in particular totally explaining your little brother and his girlfriend's living arrangements
having never seen Tantra's Edge
having never seen Garden State
pure braff
thirty five minutes in and it's manic pixie dream girl time
that in response to ninefivefourthreetwo, either she's shining like the lamb of god next to thirty minutes of pure braff, or she was fine and something happened, something terrible, probably late twenty ought five sometime
One episode contained the white Popple, Puffball, showing the viewers what's inside her pouch
Salary Owl turned down the role of Rome due to the cola pain offered
Al Pacino turned down the role of Rome due to the low salary offered
the MGs
Booker
Sheldon
that baby totally puking through a plane crash at the start of Olive Garden State
intrusive musical montages
finding it really hard to believe people kept recommending this to you for so many years
John C McGinley would be cracking wise
the janitor would have showed up and put him down
if this was Scrubs it'd be half over by now
fifteen minutes of Zach Braff braffing into the camera
having flashbacks to a movie you've never even seen
comedy funeral
funeral comedy
wondering if 'braff' refers to the permanent expression of Zach Braff's face
that baby totally sleeping through a plane crash at the start of Garden State
My dress was bought for $twentythreethousand by someone involved with the production who was buried in it
Bowman and actor Rob Lowe then sang a reworked version of Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Proud Mary", with lyrics rewritten to refer to the film industry
vegan soy horse
making soy horse from Chris Hoy's sauce
making soy sauce from Chris Hoy's horse
sexy space raptor billionaire
breeding dingeroos and kangos
Olive Oyl bottoming for Carlos Danger in Olive Danger VII
drawing a picture of Popeye going down on Olive Oyle at Olive Garden
One Vile Drag
Twelve Inch Lego Invader
Eel and Vigor
Lego Invader, the new sex toy from the makers of Lego
Evil Dragon E
Lego Invader
No Aged Liver
Delve a Groin
Veiled Groan
Vernal Dogie
Angler Video
Idol Avenger
Revile Gonad
Olive Danger
Olive Garden
Child shit in face by godlier anus slit as she meets the Queen
Child shit in face by a soldiering slut as she queefs the meat
Child shit in face by a soldiering slut as she meets the Queen
Child shit in face by saluting soldier as she meets the Queen
Child hit in face by saluting soldier as she meets the Queen
French students unable to 'copulate' with tricky question
The food company Heinz has apologised after a QR code on a bottle of tomato ketchup directed people to a pornography website
French students unable to 'cope' with tricky question
Bizarre, Striated Earthworm Jim
oversextants
sextants
Beaver Dam Common Council approved an amendment to the municipal code that redefines a service animal as a dog or miniature horse and not a kangaroo
Tittygram, a new Russian startup website that markets itself as "Uber for boobs," allows anyone to send a photo with a message written on a young woman's breasts
objcetivism
wanting to create a stable of objcetivist professional wrestlers called the Ayn Rand Corporation
The Human Scolipede
The Human Weedle
drawing a picture of Ash sneaking off to deep throat a Weedle
bugs are your only food and it puts you in the dumpster behind Olive Garden
duly noted
bugs are your only food and it puts you in a noted orgasm
bugs are your only food and it puts you in a strange mood
getting bareback from Olive Garden in the dumpster behind Olive Garden
Olive Garden wants you bareback
Olive Garden wants your ass, back
Olive Garden wants your ass back
Olive Garden wants its sweat back
Olive Garden wants its sweater back
it was still better than Olive Garden
eating a leaky and malaria riddle puddle of shit stink decay
being a shake down piece of shit doosh phace
being a leaky and malaria riddle puddle of shit stink decay
being a heretic washed up piglet shame pile'
Lepenism, it sounds dirtier than it really is
kicking George Washington in his wooden nuts
Lepenism
me mom have unconventional tastes
tamp ass mop
tobmaps to spambot
maps to spam
steaming that girl's bra in the communal laundry room
Modern Humans and Escaped Prisoners 'Interbred at Burglarized Cabin'
DNA From Escaped Prisoners Found at Burglarized Cabin
we remember all who have served hot breakfast
having seven movies to watch and being afeared
bottoming for Trevor the Vampire in Vampires Su
having unconventional tusks
drawing a picture of a pirate crew asking Shrek if all he usually does is cruise around all day on his luxury yacht covered in busty, hardly dressed donkeys
me Grimlock have unconventional tastes
hearing that Grimlock likes to be restrained in dinosaur mode and face fucked by anonymous Junkions
Christ dunked for our dyin' donuts
asking a modern, adult Transformers fan why alien robots would have genders at all, much less instantly recognisable ones comparable to humans
The Human Pinniped
let's just say that the rumors about Grimlock are true
The Human Millipede
Starscream is billed but does not appear due to being in Vegas escorting the day of the shoot
guessing that Soundwave did the recording
Christ died for our Dunkin' Donuts
Transformers Sex Tape
Pirates Knocked Up Shrek
Father Of My Children The Human Centipede Crispin Glover
Vampires Suck Other Guys
The Marine VI Colon A Few Good Elves
Spy Kids Blow Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
WAH WAH WAH WAH wondering
wondering why why why
The Marine V Colon Deck The Halls With Boughs of Death
Erin Brockovich Screwed My Dog Skip
Semper Jingle
Jingling All The Marines
wondering when WWE Studios will produce a crossover of its two biggest franchises
trying jingling, that's a good trick
jingling all the way from behind
Civic Honor Kerb
Erin Brockovich
being a jingler, like your father before you
jingling all the way back
a beautiful whistleblower with secrets that would expose a corrupt military defense contractor
bottoming for Mike "The Miz" Mizanin in The Marine IV Colon Moving Target
wondering why why
where could they possibly jingle
where could they possibly go
wondering why, if they've already jingled ALL the way, why a sequel is necessary
that in another life Jake Lloyd could have played the same character in Jingle All The Way II and simply repeated the plot of the first movie, but instead he spends his time playing Kingdoms of Amalur Colon Reckoning and getting dumb messages on Steam
shearing sheep
wondering who will play Jake Lloyd's character in the Jingle All The Way prequel trilogy
Modern humans and Walruses 'interbred in Europe'
Modern humans and Neanderthals 'interbred in Europe'
An Argument That the Ideal Jerk Must Remain Ignorant of His Jerkitude
Jingle All The Way II Colon Jam Those Bells Right Up There
WWE Studios is looking forward to continuing its long standing relationship with Twentieth Century Fox with both THE MARINE IV and JINGLE ALL THE WAY II
referring to Ladyhawke's score on "rotten tomatoes"
Pokemon Trinidad and Tobago
referring to your ladyparts as "Trinidad and Tobago"
stream piracy
referring to your ladyparts as a "rotten tomato"
bottoming for High Speed Chase in Stinging All The Way VII
being slain by a vaginal acid jelly
menstruation when the pH is up
vaginal acid jelly that can be used three times a week right after menstruation when the pH is up
Warner's Safe Yeast
Report colon 'Jingle All The Way' actor Jake Lloyd arrested after high speed chase
Marie McDonald McLaughlin Lawrie
Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien
Lloyd was heard to remark "Now THIS is podracing!"
Report colon 'Phantom Menace' actor Jake Lloyd arrested after high speed chase
Busty Diaper is the highest rated boob poo fetish star in the world
Busty Diaper, Jedi Knight
Dusty Viper, Jedi Knight
Dusty Viper, the thrash metal Dusty Springfield tribute band
braiding very stupid
being dusty viper
if you insist
eating very stupid
being very stupid
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Ted McGinley and a babirusa
passing up the opportunity to spend time with someone who seemed unreasonably interested in you because you couldn't tell how old they were even though you're like eighteen months older, and still rueing the decision almost ten years later
not knowing any of the history of the 'dex and being more surprised than ever before to find it still here every day, ready to receive our nonsensical and frankly actionable input
wondering if James Earl Jones takes Republic Dataries
wondering if people threw bread at Steve Harwell beacuse they mistook him for Guy Fieri
wondering how many people are mailing loaves of bread to Steve Harwell
wondering how many people have been able to get Steve Harwell to record their answerphone message, only to change it back to the default the next day
wondering if Rachel Stevens takes kroner
wondering how much it would cost to spoon Jewel's boobs, provided they were poo free
doubting he could afford it
obviously a James Earl Jones or even a Rachel Stevens lapdance would be prohibitively expensive, but Smash Mouth seem affordable
wondering how much it would cost Steve Harwell to record the line "have mercy!" for your answering machine
wondering how much it would cost to have Smash Mouth perform a lap dance on you
wondering how much it would cost to have James Earl Jones record the line "now THIS is podracing!"
As surely as I hate sand, I have you now
wondering why George Lucas didn't alter Vader's dialogue during the trench run scene from "I have you now" to "Now THIS is podracing!"
dribbling glibly in a risible dirigible
RIGID DIRIGIBLE ATTACK
your father designed a lousy twin ion engine fighter
your father designed a lousy engine
a little girl appears in the masion, the Marquis fathered her with his sister and they murdered her for to occult their incestuous relationship
Blazing Stewardesses
by Grigg's own admission, he continued to expend the very funds that were at issue
BLACK TIT AMP
Ronald Grigg, an attorney and former president of Jon Peters Entertainment, filed suit for defamation in Los Angeles Superior Court over a December twenty foruth two thousand eight report entitled "Famous Producer Alleges Fraud, Theft, Date Rape"
you can't take those animals they're wards of court now
BLIMP ATTACK
I'll take animals Kento has had sex with for one thousand, Alex
going Full Yehezkia
animals Kento has had sex with
so, to answer your question, Suzi Finer is a dried up old craftsmaker with a gaping vagina who gets fucked by lots of people, in either the literal or figurative sense of the word, then comes to anonymous forums and bitches about it
it would make it easier to keep track of which celebrities and animals Kento has had sex with
this is why we need a regret wiki, so that all of this information is readily available
the Arthur Yehezkia regret had more of the same kind of comments, so either Suzi came back or someone was doing a really good impersonation of her
a few months later, Suzi came back and started writing regrets about trusting sleazy lawyer Ronald Grigg, spamming the same emo comments and going so far as to make some incredibly libelous claims about him
it's no wonder he's so worried about being sued in England
Ms Allarde Johnson complained to Ryan, and got a bunch of comments and regrets deleted
eventually Lisa Allarde Johnson found the site herself, probably because she googles her name every morning, and they got into a big comment war, with the regulars fanning the flames by posing as each of them
despite the fact that nobody here had any clue who the hell Lisa Allarde Johnson was, Suzi continued writing more angsty emo regrets about her which is weird since they were both in their fifties, at least
rusting Lisa Androide Johnson
Suzi Finer is an etsy seller who, upon being betrayed by Lisa Allarde Johnson, came to the old regret index and wrote the regret "trusting Lisa Allarde Johnson", after which she promptly spammed it with hundred of weird, quasi poetic comments
still having no fucking clue who Suzi Finer is
Pokemon Semen and Emus
he banged Suzi Finer, probably
amusing yourself with semen and emus
still having no fucking clue who Arthur Yehezkia is
Pokemon Terror and Murder
wondering how many dirty jokes that whales tell end in "it was just a fluke"
amusing yourself with terror and murder
Kento's flukes
High, higher than the sun, You shoot me from a gun, I need you to elevate me here, At the corner of your tooth, As the orbit of your flukes, Eclipse, you elevate my blowhole
needing an erect ova oil
needing a coolie tavern
needing a violet cornea
needing orca elevation
telling Queequeg 'tu quoque'
Obama Coffee
needing a love reaction
Donkey sauce fish with pickle cabbage
BJ sauce fish with pickle cabbage
BJ Pickle Cabbage Puss
BJ Pickle Cabbage Fish
you could call them Whitey Wackers
Kitty Cockburn
Ten Cent Beer Night
Bruce Cockburn
your vegan squid starter, made by vegan squid
try sending them back to PETAHQ to get a replacement
that your vegan squid starter was great but it's taking them forever to make a risotto
that it smells like your neighbor is cooking steak now, and even though you already had lunch it is making you really hungry
that actually sounds kind of good now
getting a Number One Special including a Double Western BBQ 'n' Bacon Steakburger and fries with a Nutella milkshake in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
getting an email promising a Number One Special for a low, low price
getting an email promising a Patrick Stewart Special for a low, low price, Number One
getting an email promising a Patrick Troughton Special for a low, low price
stopping the 'dex, I want to get off
bottoming for Dick Nipples in Boob Pooey Bras VII
shitting dick nipples
stealing that girl's boob pooey bra from the roomy laundry commode
stealing that girl's boob pooey bra from the communal laundry room
boob poo
boiling Jewel's boob poo in John Peel's pool
teal hexxorz
taking a poo in John Peel's pool
pwning Jewel's noobz
the song begins with an impatient crowd waiting for Hammer to perform, while Hammer has a lengthy conversation with James Brown, who calls Hammer "Godson" and enlists him to get the glove of Michael Jackson
leet haxxorz
me mum's died of dysentery
You Mum's Alive!
hip hop hippo poop
Mummies Alive, Cheerio!
now to get me some caveman hookers
Momias viventes!
Mummies Alive!
Our vision is to overcome people's preconceptions and create a world where human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together, and mass hysteria are an enjoyable, everyday reality
insulting Turkish delight, on a moonlit night
a stadium's much too big for flash pictures to work, but nobody seems to care
I was ready to braid
aww
I will not do that thing with Myke Hawke
I will not do that thing with my tongue
hand in hand is the only way to land
wanting to make Kento a pimento for his birthday
Our vision is to overcome people's preconceptions and create a world where up is down right is wrong and nothing matters at all any more
Our vision is to overcome people's preconceptions and create a world where edible insect foods are an enjoyable, everyday reality
putting pimento in Kento's bento
The Major and the Minor
Kento's bento
edible versions of Elephant, Giraffe, Cotton Top Tamarin, and Hippo poop
minus the taste of despair it's fine
wasted ingredients
dairy free, soya free, gluten free, lactose free, no added sugar, raw chocolate coconut milk yoghurt
I ain't getting any younger but you wouldn't know
Mila Kunis's Underrated Huge Black Dong Organ
Quarren Flakes
Ric Olie Krispies
Wattobix
Akbar Jacks
Special J
Raisin Lando
Honey Nut Fist O's
Star Wars chocolate cereal, the saga continues
drawing a picture of Kento being grandfathered into forgotten realms
Grandfather Walrus shamans can call upon tusks of strength or convey this ability to another worshiper of Grandfather Walrus once a day for one turn
that you can still Google actual pictures of Miley Cyrus
that between whenever it was that you were looking up goldilocks on iafd and today, your network decided that it was porn and blocked it
Michael Jackson's Revenge
that if you say "pogue mahone" ten times while pounding a bottle of Irish whiskey, Shane MacGowan will appear and bite off your nipples
drinking the water in Chicago and getting Michael Jordan's revenge
titmouse
Michael Jordan's Revenge
The Nipple Erectors
Tonight on "Rock Bottom", we go undercover at a sex farm for sex hookers
every picture of Shane McGowan looking like a creepypasta illustration
drawing a picture of Shane McGowan dragging a lawnmower over Kento's thighs
Underrated Groan
IAFD says no
the boys from the NYPD choir were Eiffel Towering Kento with the contents of the Bronx zoo, and their balls were spilling out on Kento's face
actually wondering if there was a Black Swan XXX parody called Black Dong
Mila Kunis's Huge Black Dong
Underrated Organ
ant bites
telling Mila Kunis you like her nice
drawing a picture of Joey and Chandler getting the chariot from Mila Kunis
Huge Black Dong Colon The Inside Story of Our Body's Most Underrated Organ
STROKEMON used CAN YOU SMELL TOAST! It was VERY DISTRESSING!
drawing a picture of Joey and Chandler getting the chariot from Black Shuck
Young White Boy With Small Duck Fucked Hard By A Huge Black Dog
Young White Boy With Small Dick Fucked Hard By A Huge Black Dong
Strokemon
Gut! Ahhhh ahhhh! The most underrated organ of the body!
Gut Colon The Inside Story of Our Body's Most Underrated Organ aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
every time, just like the last
Gut Colon The Inside Story of Our Body's Most Underrated Organ
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
special random N
special random P
special random K
I have nudding else
if sand is in me, then I am in sand
if God is in me, then I am in God
French Press Matilda
Khaan
random K
K#it
google just keeps giving me "Young White Boy With Small Dick Fucked Hard By A Huge Black Dong" as the top result, so I'm going to have to assume you've been dickfucked six ways from Sunday and are bragging about it, or possibly really regretting ir
not being sure you ever saw an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air after Janet Hubert left, because you don't remember her being replaced
getting dickfucked six ways from Sunday
shitting under the raping tree with anyone else but me
and then there's Matilda
Matilda Flanders
Empress Maude
Empress Matilda
still feeling a sense of guilt about your adolescent sexual experiences with younger teenagers, even though nobody ever complained, you're all over thirty now, and probably everybody who ever noticed puberty did similar things
Roman Polanski calls it the feel good picture of the year
it really does make you feel like you're inside this eleven year old girl
stealing that girl's bra from the communal rape tree
sitting under the raping tree with anyone else but me
tying a yellow rope around the old rape tree
seeing the rape tree I planted would give me some memories
seeing the pear tree I planted would give me some memories
When US Attorney Dwayne Keyes recommended severe punishment because she was "full of hate and violence," Fromme threw an apple at him, hitting him in the face and knocking off his glasses
no name Maddox
Muno
It's also possible that the former WWF superstar, bodybuilder, and porn star Chyna would probably have killed Weird Al
While reports originally indicated that one man lost an eye, the victim recently came forward to indicate that he had already been blind at the time of the attack and has forgiven Wahlberg
There will never be a reunion, as I will never do anything with an asshole like Will Smith
sending the horniest swan Mr Cold Camel porn
sending Scatman Crothers Howie Mandell porn
Butt connectors
personating hymen
Comedian Tommy Chong colon 'I have to use more marijuana' to treat rectal cancer
the miracle of antibiotics
Myke Hawke made ttongsul once and stopped making it
My father made ttongsul once and stopped making it
My father made jenkem once and stopped making it
My father made some of this once and stopped making it
Garlic wine has many uses in cooking and is a great wine to make and present to friends as gifts
garlic yeast confections
vaginal yeast infections
gastric yeast infections
waffletastic dot cum
hagelslag
$tenK donation nets hockey fan chance to use Taser on mayor
the dot quantzcom bubble
that over the past several hours, you have made about half a dozen visits to dot quantzcom slash regret
slaw regret, the subregret site for people who got a side they didn't want
that over the past several hours, you have made about half a dozen visits to quan dot tzcom slash regret
This domain is registered and protected by MarkMonitor
zcom
that over the past several days, you have made about half a dozen visits to qwant dot zcom slash regret
I'm a mean drunk
I'm going to get you drunk
what you're going to do with all that junk
giving varying stimulation
But if one jiggles one's arm up and down, giving varying stimulation, one will continue to feel the paper
Troxler's fading
Goddamn you for a blackguard, scrub, rascal!
likeing Steve from Minecraft in a sexual way
likeing Herobrine and Steve yaoi
Likeing Herobrine in a sexual way
the sand really does get everywhere
anal dromedaries
ethical dromedaries
moral quandaries
wondering if food still counts as vegan if animals literally throw themselves into it, or if you have to throw out the food
a moth cumming out of nowhere to land in your coffee
a moth coming out of nowhere to land in your coffee
wondering if rachel from the regret index is Sylvia Browne
the amazing Regret Index expansion pack, Warlords of Draien Cleaonar
wondering if the rachel from the regret index is Jewel
I doubt it
wondering if the rachel from the regret index is Rachel Stevens
cookiephilia
When he wakes up, he finds that when he stretches, plants shoot from his arse
When he wakes up, he finds that when he stretches, plants shoot from his arms
Every time they put their hands together in a circle and said the words "United we stand, divided we fall", a bolt of lightning would spread throughout their arms & while it happened, the lightning hurt them
Pygophilia Stevensis
wondering if your own attractions to voices and shapely superior trapeziuses count as paraphilia
Pygophilia
stepping on a hapax legomenon
she's got legophilia, she's caused significant psychosocial distress by it
Legophilia
Dahmer himself was to later inform police he had felt "rotten" about Smith's murder as he had been unable to retain any parts of his body
clowns can get away with murder
a painting depicting cartoon characters resembling Disney's Seven Dwarfs playing baseball against the Chicago Cubs
draien cleaonar
draiend
that's probably why he felt draiend
In an interview after his arrest, Gacy stated that immediately after killing McCoy, he felt "totally drained", yet noted that he had experienced an orgasm as he killed the youth
step by step, and day by day
adorable creatures
bad, bad, Sylvia Browne, the sweatiest shitter in the whole damn town
bottoming for Sylvia Browne in Sweaty Shitters VII
when everybody had those sweat bagged color shitters in the nineties
when everybody had those bag colored sweaty shitters in the nineties
Kento's Permian epoch
there were another forty five minutes of it
she is a honey limbed lovely
there can't possibly be another forty five minutes of this
there's even a book about it
you never outgrow poo
they just namechecked Roman Polanski
Fist Full of Vixens
genuinely not knowing if this is going to turn dark
when everybody had those shit colored baggy sweaters in the nineties
HE'S LITERALLY WATCHING THE LITTLE GIRL FROM THE WINDOW
wondering if Rosie O'Donnell is some kind of stone tape
Rosie O'Donnell acting, with her mouth and hands
whenever Michael Rapaport is not on screen, all the other characters should be asking "where's Michael Rapaport"
I got free apps
we got apps
all these people do is yell "hey" at each other from a couple of feet away
Michael Rapaport is killing it
Jan's a vegetarian, he's a meat cutter, what kind of life can she have with a man who stinks of brisket
instantly he asks about the neighbor kid
instant sympathy for the old man
being pretty sure it's implied even if it isn't shown
not remembering if the protagonist is a pedophile
overripe banana taste
this guy he cuts meat
apparently the music plays between every scene
it's that guy who's not a young Bruce Campbell
already not caring about the protagonist and the opening musical montage not having ended
Uma Thurman telling Chris Hemsworth that he's her Thor man
watching Beautiful Girls for the first time in probably twelve years or more, and also the first time sober, and also the second time ever
A masturbate a day keeps the haters away
this Smash Mouth cover band sounds almost exactly like Smash Mouth
Smash Mouth, Coolio, Lisa Loeb, Naughty By Nature to Headline Inaugural NinetiesFest in Brooklyn, I'm walkin' here
Marion Mitchell Robert Morrison Gacy Geldof
Asshole Fountains of John Wayne Gacy
Fountains of John Wayne Gacy
wondering if John Wayne Gacy ever had internet access, and whether he used it to download bitmaps of Adolf Hitler's paintings to print out as black and white dot matrix prints and draw creepy clowns on
it would be like someone selling black and white printouts of John Wayne Gacy's clown paintings
just now realizing that the very concept of a Smash Mouth cover band is the saddest thing
thinking you had booked Smash Mouth for a private gig but then Smash Mouth turned up and smashed in your mouth and privates
starting a Smash Mouth cover band called Face Fuck
haven't done it yet sad face
smashing Rachel Stevens's mouth and privates
bottoming for Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks in Privates Massage VII
that your phone doesn't know any swears but it suggests 'massage' after 'privates'
that your phone doesn't know any swears but it suggests 'massage' after 'private'
thinking you had booked Rachel Stevens for a private gig but then Smash Mouth turned up
thinking you had booked Steve Carell for a private gig but then Smash Mouth turned up
topping for Steve Harwell in Takin' the Back Streets VII
wondering how often Smash Mouth find themselves eating from a buffet on a budget cruise, annually
might as well be drinkin' down the cum
getting a lick job from Madonna in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
he doesn't own enough private land subsidised by the EU
he was lookin' kind of dumb when he was guzzling down cum then took a big load on his forehead
wondering why Steve Harvell isn't a bigger gay icon
Bitch Welcome To My Scottish Estate I Hope You Enjoy Grouse Shooting
Bitch I Would Be Sharing a Dressing Room With Smash Mouth If Not For the Gays Keeping My Career Alive a Quarter Century Past Its Natural Expiration Date
Bitch I'm Fallen Mit Ze Big Boobies
Professor Halfchinease
Bitch I'm Madonna
Professor Longhair
graduating summa cum laude from assclown college
Shrek Harwell
he probably gets a dollar every time someone says "Shrek"
briefly being concerned about Steve Harwell suing us, but then thinking where the hell is he going to get the money to fly to England, let alone hire a lawyer
Usually used in connection with American Football, "to play smashmouth football" allegedly coined by Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka, da Bears
no talent assclowns and disney soundtrack fodder
Preop transexuals only, please!
Steve Harwell's ovaphobic nature
FOUR Steak n Shake Jalapeno Crunch Steakburgers, three of which are to be consumed directly by Mr Harwell, and the remaining is to be wrapped around Mr Harwell's penis and consumed by a TRANSEXUAL PROSTITUTE, provided by the venue
buying multiple copies of the book "To Smash in the Mouth or Not to Smash in the Mouth" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
to smash in the mouth
ONE drunk audience member bracket MALE close bracket MUST be available after the show in the dressing room for SMASH MOUTH to smash in the mouth
meeting Mike Love
being seriously disappointed that Smash Mouth doesn't appear on the Smoking Gun's concert rider page
Pokemon Smash Mouth can be booked for private events and Smash Mouth can be booked for corporate events
We go over the rider for Smash Mouth and work directly with Smash Mouth or the responsible agent for Smash Mouth to secure the talent for your event
Unlike most middle agents that would mark up the performance or appearance fee for Smash Mouth, we act as YOUR agent in securing Smash Mouth at the best possible price
Smash Mouth can be booked for private events and Smash Mouth can be booked for corporate events and meetings through this Smash Mouth booking page
spooning Jewel's sugar puppies
sugar puppies
Freya is one of a growing number of debt ridden fertility goddesses in the Northlands who have decided to become "sugar babies"
Freya is one of a growing number of debt ridden university students in the UK who have decided to become "sugar babies"
Bartle Frere
drawing a picture of Harper Lee complaining to the Grundy County Fair Chili Dog Eating Contest management that Sisqo clogged up the toilet in their shared dressing trailer
right next to Harper Lee
wondering if Smash Mouth and the Rembrandts find themselves sharing dressing rooms at regional civic festivals a lot
hey now, you're an all star, based on one song, it's all you ever, plaaay
hey now, you're an all star, you don't have to put up with shit on the staaaage
I second that emotion
a taste of foco is worse than none at all
Smash mouth singer goes insane at Taste of Foco
Gladhand connectors
telling that girl in summer who insisted that you "to be or not to be" to show you the remains of her vagina
leaving the remains of that totally awesome chocolate bra you stole earlier in the bathroom at church in the summer
slamming the remains of your totally awesome dick in the car door in the summer
how many movies there are about two men and a walrus doing stuff
how many movies there are about three men doing stuff
being so tired you read the headline as "Sexy offences against children rise" and not what it actually was
I always get those two mixed up
work schedules
wondering why you have unconventional desires
bottoming for Chevy Chase, Martin Short, and Steve Martin in The Three Men in Go's Ass
scromiting
the homeopath can't stop screaming and throwing up
the chemist suggests a liberal application of sodium hydroxide and an open window
the biologist suggests leaving the dump to mellow in the blocked toilet until bacterial action breaks down the structure and it can be fragmented by simple flushing
the physicist thinks the best way to unblock the toilet is to use the brush or another physical object to push, pull or macerate the obstruction until the flush is clear
a physicist, a biologist, a chemist, and a homeopath are taking part in a panel discussion, and a member of the audience asks what's the best way to deal with a huge dump blocking the toilet up
bottoming for Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg, and Ted Danson in Three Men in a Baby
bottoming for Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, and Josh Brolin in Three Men in Back
you gotta fake my death, I can't listen to sitar music any more
Facts you Should Know for Defloration on Bridal Night
AILMENTS PECULIAR TO WOMEN
Those who look at our bodily dwelling can gain a very good idea of what we are
Indian city offers money for using public toilets
in one text
Fifty Spellings of Gary
Fifty Shades of Garey
Fifty Shades of Gary
lending your bees to a dishonest Middleton
often getting emails simply titled 'SEAS'
often getting emails simply titled 'Bees'
asking Sony Pictures to show you pictures
Bees contribute more to British economy than Royal Family
reading a review of your laptop of which the gist is "tiny doubt"
reading a review of your laptop of which the gist is "in d butt, yo"
Jessica Alba posed for her Fantastic Four Colon Rise of the Silver Surfer Promotional Photos
not finding a single mention of whether the men in fatworld are likewise grotesquely obese
imagining people in fatworld are constantly eating, Homer Simpson style
it's one of few thin things in fatworld
imagining that there's a thin sheen of sweat on most things in fatworld
The Israeli government is under no obligation to fund cultural projects that defame the country, the nation's hardline new culture minister declared this week
reading a review of your laptop of which the gist is "don't buy it"
seeing how Myke Hawke perks up at the mention of fatworld
Myke Hawke does like it dry
you should make him wear a hat
raindrops keep fallin' on Myke Hawke
burning your neighbor's cookies
melting your neighbor's panties
melting your pretty neighbour
meeting your pretty neighbour
going to Ikea with Go Ikeda
Ayn Rand's dysentry
Montezuma's revenge
Ayn Rand's revenge
"Five Irish guys walk out onto a balcony in California" sounding like the beginning of a racist joke
handprints last for so long even after you're gone
Five Irish believed dead after balcony collapse in California
dreams last for so long even after you're gone
ALCOCK used HARDEN! Misty fainted!
Pokemon Alcock and Brown, Texture Like Sun
Pokemon Psy and Skrillex
Pokemon Self Defense and Killing Machine
Pokemon Cannibal and Ghost
Pokemon Alcock and Brown
Gander, Newfoundland and Labrador
Pokemon Mizzen and Spanker
Was Adam Lanza drugged and hypnotised by his handlers to make him into a killing machine as an excuse as the regime is itching to take all means of self defense from the populace before the economic collapse
that even though the rats have eaten nothing but their own diseased ridden comrades for over a year, they're still going to be disappointed the first time they eat British food
she lost her mizzen and spanker in a storm
The cannibal rat ghost ship is certainly not alone
Man captures photo of horse riding a bicycle
Man captures photo of raccoon riding an alligator
Richard Gere has an entire colony of Gobi jerboas living in his sigmoid colon
Anthony Quinn has five buttholes
You'll Never Believe What Urogenital Irregularities These Seven Celebrities Have!
drawing a picture of Rooney Mara doing squat thrusts then taking the hugest dump out of her anusmouth
when you're Eiffel Towering and you have to stop to take a dump urgently but you don't
when you're exercising and you have to stop to take a dump orally
when you're exercising and you have to stop to take a dump urgently
Female Genital Appreciation
FGA, blown away, what else do I have to say
Chris Lydon is in league with the olgoi khorkhoi
it'll probably terminate with Kento being Trilateral Commissioned by Lyndon Johnson and a sandworm
wondering where we're going with this
SiSi
ISIS has four letters and so does SAND and they both contain an S
the melting point of silicon is higher than the melting point of steel
sand did nine eleven
Mokhtar Belmokhtar, Jedi Knight
the official government line is that he lost his eye in a freak sand related accident, though this is widely viewed as a smokescreen set up to capitalize on rampant antisand sentiment among the Canadian public
wanting to change Mokhtar Belmokhtar's wikipedia page to reflect the SHOCKING truth that he began down the path to Islamic extremism after Kento Ikeda shot him in the eye, but knowing that Thought Policeman Jack Greenmaven would just revert it
shooting Jackson C Frank in the other eye with an Raytheon AGM onesevensix Griffin missile launched from a General Atomics AQ one Predator UAV when you were an adult
Reports Colon Russia, China have files leaked by Snowden
shooting Mokhtar Belmokhtar in the other eye with an Raytheon AGM onesevensix Griffin missile launched from a General Atomics AQ one Predator UAV when you were an adult
shooting Mokhtar Belmokhtar in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
Millennials More Tolerant, Less Promiscuous Than Their Parents
that was what made it the best thing ever
the four truths, by the way, are it's coarse, it's rough, it's irritating, and it gets everywhere
The Thirty Most Hilarious Gifs of Horses Riding Bicycles
Hoser teachers HATE him, eh! Learn this one weird trick to learning Canadian in three weeks
I had another one about Hayden Christensen but I though that one was better
I can't top that, I'm going out
"the best thing ever" wasn't an instruction, but you did it anyway
Four SHOCKING Truths That Will Make You HATE Sand
the best thing ever
country bees ran
Learn Five Weird Little Tricks to Getting a Painless Eiffel Tower
Seven Songs on Youtube That Will Get Stuck in Your Head Forever
Guess How Many Of These People Float Down Here
You'll Never Guess What Currency This Hardboiled Cockney Gumshoe Is Paid In
Fifteen Uses Of The Word "Waffletastic" That Will Baffle You
The Thirty Three Most Spoonable Boobs in the World
Forty Three Tropes About Drinking Champagne Out of Things Whose Origins You Won't Believe
Ten Unbelievable Meetings Brian Peppers Has Had
Seventeen Things Myke Hawke Has Gotten Stuck Inside
regretbait
that Paris and pairs are anagrams of each other
stealing a bucket hat from a local store
Six Seasons Of A Show You've Never Heard Of That Are Entirely Available On YouTube
Courtney Barnes
One Hundred Years Of Solitude You'll Be Amazed By
Twenty One Things That You Wash With
Ninety Dogs With Amazing Facial Hair
Please find attached the latest version of Adobe Flash player and the best thing ever
spambot's cover was blown by Lisa Snowden and Bradley Walsh when they gave all the files to ISIS
wondering if spambot got a new job producing clickbait and that's why he doesn't come around here much
Pokemon the UK and Ireland and Wales and Scotland and England and the surrounding villages and the London Eye of course
Everyone who has watched Star Trek knows Leonard Nimoy for playing Spock in the series
The best deals in the UK and USA Today on the market for you guys and girls, you should know
guessing that clickbait is either constructed from templates by interns, robots with minimal to no human oversight, or wage slaves in a call centre between dealing with banking customers
The Ten Most Shocking Celebrity Animal Pairs Who Have Ever Eiffel Towered a Fat Gay Asian
If you're interested in the UK and Ireland and Wales and Scotland and England and the surrounding villages and the London Eye of course, it is important to remember that your phone is in the Netherlands and the rest
seriously wondering how much one gets paid for those clickbait articles, because I could totally churn that shit out
I have been a great weekend too
the real Steven Tyler is copyrighted and trademarked and has huge license fees
random sentences made from auto suggested strings by your phone dictionary
The only problem with your friends and family to be honest, but the most important thing to remember
wondering why that article didn't include a real photo of Steven Tyler and instead seemed to include a photo of a dummy of Steven Tyler made out of horse leather and marinated in vodka for a month
I was kissing fascists when you punks were in diapers
in your car in the summer
buzzfudge dot com
Sexy Celebs With Hideous Spouses
Betty Ford
Robert Downey Jr has had problems with alcohol, who knew
Eminem's history of struggle with alcoholism hasn't been a secret
Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, Elton John
Hell, Lumbergh fucked her
it was still one of the least humiliating days Kento has had in a long time
Police in Oregon said a homeless man allegedly masturbating in a portable toilet with the door open had to be rescued after witnesses reached their tipping point
I was killing fascists when you punks were in diapers
seeing a clickbait article with the title "Twenty Six Celebrities You Didn't Know Were Alcoholics" and a picture of Ernest Hemingway and wondering, one, since when was Ernest Hemingway a celebrity, and, two, who the hell doesn't know he was an alcoholic
Fifty Shades of Peppers
jizz hands
jazz hands
if you only could, you'd lend your bees to god, and get them back from him later
running up that road, running from those bees, with no problems
lending your bees to a dishonest holidaymaker
A holidaymaker had to be rescued from the bee two days running after drifting away on an airbed off the Kent coast
A holidaymaker had to be rescued from the sea two days running after drifting away on an airbed off the Kento coast
nothing can stop you now
being the duke of earl
wondering if you should branch out into comic sans to liven up the place
A holidaymaker had to be rescued from the sea two days running after drifting away on an airbed off the Kent coast
Shrinky Dinks
the place
wondering if you should branch out into comic songs to liven up the place
a simple creature unlettered
thinking you might watch Star Wars again just to spite yourself
Kangaroo testicle stew in Australia, gott im himmel
Bulls testicle stew in Austria, crikey
losing your wallet and watch at the Testicle Festival
Bulls testicle stew in Austria
kakashere porkolt
Rooster testicle stew in Hungary
Goat testicles at a market in Spain
Raw bovine testicles in an Italian market
Rocky Mountain oysters
ox fruit edict
ox nut edict
Detox Icunt
kidsbody
dogsbody
faygo asians
parfait celebrity
knickerbocker glory
thanks, Obama
apparently it's cheaper outside the US
not realizing that heroin was that cheap
then it's like three thousand times as much rice as heroin for the same money
the very notion that Bob Geldof would spend his fuckin' money on anything but the highest quality illegal drugs
white heroin is purer, and it hates the Jews
that's racist
for white heroin, the weight of rice that could be purchased for the same money is much higher
if Basmati rice has a gram value of one point eight nine pence at twenty fifteen prices and brown heroin has a median street value gram price of thirty seven pounds sterling, by weight one thousand nine hundred and fifty eight times as much rice as heroin
fat gat Asians
there's an old man sitting next to me face fucking his fay gay Asian
seriously wondering how much rice you could buy for Ethiopia with all the money that Bob Geldof and his immediate family members have spent on heroin
Mr Potato Ikeda
Potato Ikeda
rape limos, fresh from the prom
you know those limos out back, they aren't free
The money Britain spent hosting a global summit, headed by William Hague and Angelina Jolie, to end sexual violence in conflicts was five times higher than the entire confirmed budget the UK has dedicated to tackling rape in war zones this year
Acanthosicyos horridus
wondering if the guy who started the fire is the same guy who let the dogs out
asian racks
drawing a picture of Vladimir Putin being Eiffel Towered by Billy Joel and Exapno Mapcase
filling the Turbine Hall with a tide of ideas and narratives of art, activism, climate change and oil, and the smell of patchouli
especially when Billy Joel was there
asian knockers
Moscow is, indeed, gayer than you might think
asian boobies
asian tits
asian traits
A rectomammal was any species having both fat and gay and asian traits
I'll come in again
rectomammal
A reptomammal was any species having both fat and gay and asian traits
Kento lactating anally, I worry
Italy wanting rectal okra only
really wanting tricky anal too
really wanting to try Inca Kola
B U T T S
i imgur com ttmwxcb jpg
this smooth jazz version of 'Creep'
men be all braiding penises at the mall
playing in the Globe Theatre with Charles Edwards as Richard II
Myke Rave, eh
my crave, eh
time be all like zombies at the mall
time be circumcised
have mercy
pump my ass, I'll have to ask
i imgur com vkCPsevenex png
Jenna Jameson Colon No Stranger to Matzah Balls
wondering if Shalom Life has a centerfold, nah nah na na na nah
in order to respect the ancient religion, she is requiring that at least fifty percent of the penises inside of her at any one time be circumcised
oy yeah, oy yeah, schtup me, bubbeleh
Jenna Jameson Colon I'm converting to Judaism
basically he's allowing the students to have sex in a storage room of his classroom
wondering whether other men actually do braid their penisrs
penisrs bsns
wondering whether other men actually do name their penisrs
citation not found
And then, there was this guy who, made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner, and when he finally came to, he found that Mr Happy was missing
RUTHERFORDIUM enemas
being surprised that there is no "Downton Girl" parody, but guessing it's possible Weird Al already did one
uptown girl, she's never heard of pegging in her white bread world, I'm not sure this thing can last, I like relationships that pump my ass, I'll have to ask
there's a young boy sitting next to me making love to his Pokemon Gloom
Kentaro Ikeda
Actor John Stamos arrested in Beverly Hills
radium enemas
Pokemon Jack and Diane
there's an old man sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin
that, despite the presence of Christie Brinkley, the video for Uptown Girl is one of the gayest things ever put to film
downtown London is going to be invaded by uptown girls tomorrow
downtown London is going to be invaded by sticky candles tomorrow
downtown London is going to be invaded by cad Nick Styles tomorrow
downtown London is going to be invaded by naked cyclists tomorrow, price of nude thong thong fluid skyrockets three hundred and fifty percent
the bellybutton challenge
downtown London is going to be invaded by naked cyclists tomorrow
I would watch Sting vs Predator
Sting vs Predator
Predator Sting prefers to move through fields of barley when it has a west wind covering it
Predator Sting
Muslim Youth Leader Ahmed Saleem Arrested In Child Sex Predator Andy Summers
Muslim Youth Leader Ahmed Saleem Arrested In Child Sex Predator Sting
Rachel Dolezal
much of the fanart available on the regret index
much of the fanart available on the internet
well, she doesn't have any left
not picturing Misty as the underwear type, a belief reinforced by much of the fanart available on the internet
I'm guessing that it started with Ash and Brock engaging in some quick mutual masturbation sessions huddled around Misty's pilfered underwear, before Brock caught that Forretress, leaving Ash aloneto go "wander through the tall grass" on lonely nights
Pokemon roses
Ballets roses
wondering which happened to Ash first, homoerotic fumblings with Brock, awkward kissing and some light fingerbanging with Misty, or creeping out of the tent in the middle of the night to face fuck a wild Gloom
the Pokemon Gloom looking like it just gave a blowjob
I'll bet it wouldn't be too hard to splice together some sound clips
wondering how much it would cost to get Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner to say "Mr Data vegan pig pig" and "ay sir, vegan pig pig"
being ravaged by two pap midgets
oiling Mr Data's vegan pig pig with nude thong thong fluid
Mr Data vegan pig pig is a very serious charge, but not as serious as FULLY FUNCTIONAL Mr Data vegan pig pig
Dominique Strauss Kahn acquitted of 'Mr Data vegan pig pig'
Dominique Strauss Kahn acquitted of 'ravaging pap midget'
Dominique Strauss Kahn acquitted of 'gimp grip advantage'
Dominique Strauss Kahn acquitted of 'aggravated pimping'
A Canadian man who enraged Malaysians by posting pictures of himself posing naked up mountains has said he was not one of the stripping tourists blamed for causing an earthquake on Mount Kinabalu, eh
Oak nut albumin naked photo accused jailed
Mount Kinabalu naked photo accused jailed
the first stone
playing Cock & Balls with LeBron James
James cut his glans while tumbling into a courtside television camera following a foul by Golden State's Andrew Bogut midway through the second quarter
LeBron James's accidental penis flash lends stroke of controversy to Game four
ABC accidentally touches LeBron James' penis during pregame cuddle
this I gotta see
ABC accidentally airs LeBron James' penis during pregame huddle
the way things srem
let he or she who has never sucked off a dude in a dumpster cast the first stone
your lack of pop culture knowledge making the reporting on Caitlyn Jenner srem almost like the press just started picking out members of the public at random to scrutinise in the most appalling way
also she sucked off a dude in the dumpster
drawing regret
she also did get the squirts later that evening but it may have been the four day old Chinese leftovers she polished off for lunch
drawing a picture of Caitlyn Jenner having dinner at Steak n Shake which went off without any major problems, but she did kind of regret getting the Oreo Mint Cookies and Cream milkshake instead of the Oreo Cookies and Cream milkshake like usual
being a peach
sucking too flaccid on your lollipop
eating a peach
sucking too hard on your lollipop in the bathroom at church until you yelled "I've started so I'll finish, in my mouth!"
Duane Allskeleton
sucking too hard
never, not in this world, not in fatworld, I literally cannot deal
sucking too hard on your lollipop
the death of Duane Allman
wanting to applaud all of us here for not taking the low hanging fruit and making Caitlyn Jenner Steak n Shake jokes
guessing that most Manhattan townhouses in Fatworld are equipped with the kind of massive freight elevators employed only in quarry operations in our world
Natlaie Portman
make sure you check out Natlaie Portman's fatworld page before going to bed, if you want to have hellish nightmares
bedtime it is
I'm definitely getting less funny
I doubt it, but I bet civil engineering codes are quite a bit different
wondering how much Bill Nye weighs in fatworld
wondering if the physical laws governing fatworld differ subtly from those of our own universe
being under a fatworld fatwa
it has been stressed several times that a lack of mobility in Fat World is the greatest cultural taboo, so I think that they probably move around a lot, but they just pound a ten gallon tub of lard every day
not having any real problem with actual fat or obese people, just being curious about how the fatworld fantasy deals with anything more complex than a photoshopped image of a celebrity
wondering if people in fatworld go like skydiving and bungee jumping and shit or if they just sit around all day eating off brand corn chips and washing themselves with rags on sticks
death by blubbery asphyxiation
slipping and falling into a fatworld crack
Robin Wright currently weighs five hundred and sixty pounds
I'm not going to check because it turns out that I am a pussy
I'm assuming that is a fatworld crack
five hundred and fifty pounds of women
rest well and dream of large women
actually I'm just going to bed
watching Leon and spending a couple of hours feeling sorry for myself
wondering what YOU'RE doing up at this hour anyway
Carrie Fisher can act, she just didn't make a habit of it
I have an unusual work schedule
Carrie Fisher's Daughter Goes Into Acting Despite Mother's Wish for Her to Not Become Masturbation Fuel for a Bearded Gnome and His Legions of Neckbeard Disciples For All Time
wondering what you're doing up at this hour anyway
Carrie Fisher's Daughter Goes Into Acting Despite Family History
actually five
Carrie Fisher's Daughter Goes Into Acting Despite Family Objections
I'm not surprised, it's four in the morning
I am seriously sleep deprived now
marketing appartus
year ten girls
ten year girls
the world is Sting's Full House
it's kind of like when the Beach Boys appeared on Full House, and you kept thinking "are the ten year girls who watch this show really into the Beach Boys or is this just product placement"
that whenever you saw Sting in any context as a child, it was so weird because the marketing appartus that paid him to appear anywhere seemed to insist that he was still cool and relevant, but he seemed to you like just some old man who sang pussy music
hurt, the necessary feeling
six glasses of water, seven phonecalls
feeelings are boring
it sounds Sisyphean, but it's probably not
really having to get over the hump but not having a means of doing that, or at least, not being smart or detached enough to get perspective on the problem and think around it, and just ending up building the hump higher
some people are just nice
thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim
honestly wanting to stop listening to a Sting song but not doing anything to stop it, such as muting, taking off your headphones, or even stopping the credits, damn those faeries
irregular triangle's not the shape of your heart
dodecahedron's not the shape of your heart
trapezium's not the shape of your heart
rhomboid's not the shape of your heart
punishing yourself, but not like you're thinking, perv
punishing yourself
remembering the nineties when Sting was kind of a big deal but never really understanding why that was or even why it ended, like it was some kind of faerie glamour that just evaporated one day and we all pretended it was a dream
Sting for no reason
EVERYONE!
I'm dying to meet him
seriously, whatever the fuck Gary Oldman is doing
Italian food
downtown London
on top of a bus in downtown London
The British Governments policy of socialized medicine has recently been broadened to include a service called "Proxy Fathers"
oooooooo, the textual representation of a stream of walrus jizz making crap crepes for a creep
The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing
oooooooo, the textual representation of a stream of walrus jizz
making crap crepes for a creep
creepy ten year old weiners
creepy hot dogs
creepy dogs
creepy kids
I want you to make an effort to talk nice
oooooooo
respecting the tusk and taming the long haired half Chinease
walruses don't ask, they take
drawing a picture of a walrus saying "Are you ready to bottom, bitch"
thinking above all it's a shame because it's a really good film with some really nice performances, and also Gary Oldman doing whatever the fuck that is that he's doing
having serious doubts about who is the more introverted cretin, the fictional hitman or you yourself
remembering why you put the DVD on the shelf a decade ago and haven't tried to watch it since
shooting David Butler in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
drawing a picture of a walrus saying "Are you Beach Body Ready"
Kento is too much of a size queen to ever settle for a sea lion
I was reading the sealion story to see if it was Kento
trying to read a film at all
even though I have lived as a Jedi for five years, I am actually not that bothered by Star Wars or science fiction
untold malaise didn't work alone, eh
trying to read and watch a film at the same time
wondering who even codes a navigational slider that randomly jumps whenever you select a part of the bar rather than the progress bee
Thelma and Louise didn't work alone
sending Howie Mandel Howie Mandel scat porn
hating PowerDVD but not being able to play DVDs through VLC without that audio stuttering problem that you keep fixing and erasing whenever you reset preferences
Experience Colon I was nearly drowned by a sea lion
sending Howie Mandel scat porn
Instead of shaking contestants' hands when they offer them, Mandel often opts to exchange fist pounds
I don't even know what that is
I said struffed, not stuffed
having a stuffed Gizmo would make it hard to concentrate
thinking that you saw Gremlins when you were like six and maybe had a struffed Gizmo, but remembering virtually nothing about the movie
I totally don't
all the long 'o' regrets we've added over the years, if you know what I mean
all the long 'o' regrets we've added over the years
ooo
oooo
ooooo
we can hit it all night looong
baby we can hit it tonight if you want
figuring that will hit lOOK by the end of summer
CANYONEROOOO
Canyonero
this fat bastard is trying to move in on Maurizio's business
there's a clown on the wing
there's a gremlin on the side of the bus
PACER Stew
wondering if Duke has a loser friend
Gremlin Stew
not remembering that Christopher Lee was in Gremlins II, but remembering Robert Prosky
Duke is a few years older than Ocean, a "mindful athlete" who's competitive, well rounded, and likes a variety of physical activities
That time Christopher Lee taught Peter Jackson the sound a stabbed man makes
David Duchovny's Say That Again, I Had No Fucking Idea What You Just Said was clearly superior though
drifting through the years and life seeming tame
in association with Mel Gibson
Slur Dialog's biggest success only came after they were signed by Clint Eastwood
always thinking the second girl group that Harrison Ford managed, Slur Dialog, was inferior to his first, Incomprehensible Mumbling
I've had someone email from America who wants his penis removed
wondering why there are no Warcraft themed manufactured pop bands
The Greatest Sith Tour
Man with new penis to be a dad
the song was performanced by British girl group Oral Guilds on their concert The Greatest Hits Tour
the song was performanced by British girl group Rad Slug Oil on their concert The Greatest Hits Tour
the song was performanced by British girl group Lurid Goals on their concert The Greatest Hits Tour
the song was performanced by British girl group Slur Dialog on their concert The Greatest Hits Tour
thrilling at sixty nine
killing at sixty nine
dying at sixty nine
the song was performanced by British girl group Girls Aloud on their concert The Greatest Hits Tour
jiving turkeyness
WWE Star 'The American Dream' Dusty Rhodes Dies at Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rosebowl
WWE Star 'The American Dream' Dusty Rhodes Dies at Sixty Nine
insulting turkeyness
a turkey is a bad person
serving my chick a mess of feathers and beak
dispenser swan, if you please
dispenser man, if you please
The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
Sir Peter Markham Scott CH CBE DSC FRS FZS
the death of Ron Moody
of her presence there was no trace
the message she brought can never be found
deep down in the depths of forgotten dreams
salt lemon and lime time, tequila
the death of Sir Peter Loch, eh
wondering who will play Saruman in the new Hobbit trilogy, The Hobbit II Colon Hobbit Harder
the death of Christopher Lee
FLIM SPRINGFIELD
Mars Needs FILMS
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
beer can chicken
bottoming for Brad Planet in Size Queen of Mars VII
Bred Planet
Size Queen of Mars
Star Appeal
Total Rectal
Capricornhole One
Mars Needs MILFS
The Last Gays on Mars
Red Ass For Mars
Mars Assfucks!
going to work on the beach
going to work on a dark desert highway, cool wind in your hair
autoBOUNDER
riding to work on a swan
going to work on a pussy
going to work on a sperm
going to work on a cookie
going to work on an egg
Prawn cocktail, steak and Black Forest gateau
That's my name up there next to the pepper steak, and don't you forget it!
autocad
autowash
you are fired!
grandfather say it never rain every day
PETP
wondering why there are no Vegan type Pokemon
wondering why there are no Meat type Pokemon
Chucklebottom
Pokemon Chucklevision and Bottom
letting lying wikipedians sleep
being a little sad that Chucklevision and Bottom never crossed over and now never can cross over
not fully believing that Brad Garrett played a homeless man on Chucklevision as wikipedia claims, but watching it at double speed on YouTube to make sure
A thin, small nail, with a slight projection at the top on one side instead of a head, or occasionally with a small domed head, similar to that of an escutcheon pin
wondering if Brad Roberts is both the Celebrity Regretter and the MMMMMMMMMM Bandit
drawing a picture of Brad Roberts and Brad Garrett bradding their penises together
Brad Garrett, voice of Trypticon
I know I am lost, still I must confess
getting panty talk from an ant with the voice of Brad Garrett
When guys whisper in each others ears I always think its kinda homo, crikey, no homo
Pu$$y
getting pillow talk from an ant with the voice of Brad Roberts
When guys whisper in each others ears I always think its kinda homo
the second ant getting the panties
the second any getting the panties
things just got real
the rules of the game have changed
rest assured the second mouse will also get stuck to the pad, taken outside and stamped flat under a plank
the second mouse getting the cheese
thunder only happening when it's raining
they're in cahoots
a conspiracy of walrus be colon imp
a conspiracy of pre Columbian owls
lipstick, cigarettes, packet of three
Madrid De Los Austrias Woman Is The Party Mix
To the extent that this material exists, the CIA would be prohibited from mailing obscene matter
sick burn on Jessica Tandy
inhuming crones with Hume Cronyn
the world is mostly full of jankholes
We don't want anarchy in Banking, but we do want change
highly illogical
Four Western trekkers who were accused of taking nude photographs on Malaysia's highest peak were ordered detained on Wednesday pending an investigation into public obscenity charges
Pokemon R and Eighteen
Pokemon Sex and Violence
Pokemon Check and Gratuity
talking catfish
Pokemon Check and Mate
check and mate
you've got me there
there are lots of words
there are no words
I was watching Family Feud and that was one of the fast money questions
goddamn sexual tyrannosauruses on the amazing Regret Index
sexual predators on the amazing Regret Index
wishing you wouldn't talk about banging me mom, who died of dysentery
nine three seven eight nine
what kind of question about your underwear
it's a pretty bizarre question to wake up to
that time I fell asleep and someone asked about my underwear
neither is you mom when I bang her
you never seem to be
just kidding, I'm not wearing panties
my panties just dropped
Ezekiel has dysentery
Homer Simpson, smiling politely
the Smashing Pumpkins, da Bears
the Smashing Conspiracy, cheerio
the Great Conspiracy, cheerio
pounding Ezekiel's dysentery all night
the Great Conspiracy
if you ever want to get in bed with an American girl our age, just say "Ezekiel has dysentery" to her and you'll be pounding that all night
knowing of it
wondering if you had The Oregon Trail in the UK and if so, whether it provided the same cultural touchstone to your generation that it did to mine
losing three oxen fording the river
braising ox nose for food at Brasenose College, Oxford
Sydneysiders
Belgium Commemorates Waterloo With a Coin, and France Is Not Pleased
Pokemon Matt and Sweat
But a big dick and steel front teeth only get you so far it seems
Scarlett Johansson is made of loner dicks
Scarlett Johansson is made of Don Rickles
Scarlett Johansson is made of sprinkles
Don Rickles Me Elmo
Don Rickles
Don Texas
Don Torso
really hoping Arid Cur's Jowls has snot odor
tru dat
really hoping Jurassic World has Troodons
they did indeed
the first ever woman was named Lucy
wondering if Troodons said "tru dat"
wanting the inevitable reboot slash remake of Home Alone to feature Hayden Christensen and, I don't know, let's say Slash, because I already said slash, as the Sandy Bandits
mmm mmm mmm mmm
once, there was this guuuuuuuuy who, added up the weight of the women that he'd slept with, and wheeeeeeeen, he finally totalled it, he, though, that it would be faster to fuck an elephant
crushed
wondering whatever did happen to the Women By The Pound Bandit
with four hot cousins
wondering if Magnus Magnusson would say things like "I've started so I'll finish, in all four of your mouths" during sex
breaking my achey breaky heart
it depends on whether you're talking about filial affection or not
Miley Cyrus poses kosher pig, hugging a paper, for Shalom Life Magazine
it's good to see a girl who loves her father
Miley Cyrus poses pig, hugging a paper, for Nude Magazine
Miley Cyrus poses nude, hugging a pig, for Paper Magazine
Kento's withered man dugongs
I already told my Iceland story
Kento's withered man dugs
being born too lazy to learn Icelandic and too far from Iceland to know any Icelanders
anywhere near the point of orgasm
not being able to write Icelandic regrets
wondering what the Icelandic equivalent of "take it all, you dirty bitch" is
wondering if Magnus Ver Magnusson would produce subhuman grunting as he struggles to beat off his steroid shriveled genitals to anywhere near the point of orgasm
wondering if Magnus Magnusson would say things like "I've started so I'll finish, in your mouth" during sex
Kento's manhole
Once, there was this kiiiiiiiiiid who, got Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus, and wheeeeeen, he finally caaaaame to, he, had, an anal fissure the size of a manhole
wondering what it's like to hear pillow talk from Brad Roberts, then remembering you're not an elephant, so you can't
Roberts had an article published in his highschool paper about the true neutral kender ardent he rolled up but never actually used in a game
Roberts began taking random photos of the places he visited, which were then posted on his blog and the band's Facebook page
long, pointless, meandering sexual scenarios read in a frighteningly deep voice
wondering what it's like to hear pillow talk from Brad Roberts
Their Mediterranean style, Beverly Hills villa includes a picturesque breezeway that opens onto lush gardens, basalt stone walkways and a pool lined with olive trees
I didn't have a mouth for VII days and I must scream
Duck Dynasty's Jep Robertson Reveals He Was Molested as a Child Colon It Was 'Scary'
I didn't play the cello for VII days and I have double D cups
hiding just beyond perception, that would be me
I didn't wear a bra for VII days and I have E cups SOLVE FOR X
I didn't wear a bra for VII days and I have E cups
maldivesdreamvacation dot blogspot dot com
Prince Charles has always denied he's a member of the IRA
Amphibious pitcher makes debut
Surprise gnome man's land baffles homeowner in Devon
A male black and white knight mounts a female that has been dead for two days and attempts to mate
a white knight upon a fiery steed upon a bicycle
wondering what the total number of regrets cast stands at
www dot dickpills dot org
i imgur com threeWqZnineLfive jpg
a corgi riding a bicycle
the preferred mount of tiny, woodland fairy warriors
Welsh corgis
Thor & The Ass Boys, eh
He Came, He Thor, He Conquered
Thor & The Ass Boys
A male black and white tegu mounts a female that has been dead for two days and attempts to mate
children would have one minute to make as many baskets as they could, and the message was that you have to be coordinated to do more for Jesus
the "Jumpasaurus" was a trampoline next to a basketball hoop
finding it not surprising that Peter Kum 'n' Skeet would be antisemitic, given his most disgustingly bigoted work, The Protocols of the Felchers of Zion
you mom doesn't mind working Myke Hawke
I don't mind working Myke Hawke
The Ten Most Famous News Jar Pro Shits
The Ten Most Famous Snow Jar Hipsters
Shalom Life, Jedi Knight
still finding the name of "Shalom Life" amusing
The Ten Most Famous Jewish Porn Stars
that very well could have been Myke Hawke, but you felt we have been working Myke Hawke rather hard lately
it only counts when it suits you
Film makers including Ken Crotch, Mike Hunt and Peter Kum 'n' Skeet have called on the Curzon and Odeon cinema chains and Bafta to drop screenings for an Israeli porn festival opening this week
I've seen more intelligent bananas
if one bombed England effectively this could bring peace
preposterous hagiography
pure cinematic excrement
the heat death of your laptop's power supply
Film makers including Ken Loach, Mike Leigh and Peter Kosminsky have called on the Curzon and Odeon cinema chains and Bafta to drop screenings for an Israeli film festival opening this week
Ceide Fields
Rivallo
People in Ancient Ireland Preferred Britain's 'Magical' Gold To Their Own
America's Next Eiffel Tower
America's Next Bottom Homo
America's Next Top Homo
Kate Moss escorted off Easyjet flight 'for acting like she was an Easyjet passenger'
being kind of surprised that Kate Moss would even fly a budget airline out of Luton, but guessing she didn't invest when she had money
Kate Moss Geldof
I would have expected more from someone who is most famous for doing record setting amounts of recreational narcotics
Kate Moss escorted off flight 'for being Kate Moss'
issuing a report about reports about reports that recommends the preparation of a report about the report about reports about reports
Kate Moss escorted off flight 'for being disruptive'
mukspreading
muckspreading
bedspreading
I find that flaccid to believe
I find that hard to believe
Twix is the only candy bar with the cookie crunch
When he shot himself in the eye with "a pellet gun when you were a kid," a man who now calls himself "Jackson C Frank" let everyone believe it was your fault
swanspreading
Kentospreading
the death of Daniel von Bargen
manspreading
'Into Nude Circus I,' 'Mo Fun, Eh' top Homos
'Curious Incident,' 'Fun Home' top Tonys
When he cut off his right arm with a worry pot rape shovel, a man who now calls himself Jan "Dash" Noone let everyone believe it was I can't dance
When he cut off his right arm with a "reversal worthy poop," a man who now calls himself Sand Aeon John let everyone believe it was an accident
When he cut off his right arm with a "wooly prop harvester," a man who now calls himself Anon Jehad, Son let everyone believe it was an accident
When he cut off his right arm with a "very sharp power tool," a man who now calls himself One Hand Jason let everyone believe it was an accident
me mom's kind of weird
I'm not going to argue that
YOU MOM'S kind of weird
you're kind of weird
this site is kind of weird
inserting batteries into a gerbil then inserting it into Richard Gere's urethra to create a grisly, sexual turducken
bottoming for Richard Gere in #batteries included VII
being cornholed by a rabid Richard Gere
being gerbiled by a rabid Richard Gere
being bitten by a rabid Richard Gere
I am now convinced that any interest in the bear shifter genre is entirely based on rhyming schemes
Werebear Billion Bear
this weapon is your life! you need to get out more
an elegant dildo, for a more civilized age
always two there are, inserted sequentially, no more, no less
that the original cause of the Sith splt was their preference for cutting off the hands of vanquished foes, rather than the then standard Jedi method of urethral insertion
Wisbech and Upwell Tramway
wondering how small Han Solo's penis must have been for him to not only go out and acquire a ship that could make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, but to also go about bragging about that fact to towheaded youths and their elderly companions
urethral probe droids
he's more lightsaber than urethra, now
considering that inevitably, over thousands of years and across an entire galactic republic, there must have been at least one individual who decided to try and insert their lightsaber into their urethra travelling to Ely in your sleep
considering that inevitably, over thousands of years and across an entire galactic republic, there must have been at least one individual who decided to try and insert their lightsaber into their urethra
travelling to Ely in your sleep
holding your cheeks for Colon Hero 'til the end of the night
The New Jedi Order Colon Agents of Chaos I Colon Hero's Trial
Darth AAA Batteries in Dick
Darth Big Jewel in Dick
Qalsneek the Bull
Darth Big Dick in Jewel
they always have such nice things
going on a cruise with Tom Cruise the day after tomorrow
In the film however, he points toward the Unknown Regions, where no known systems are located
biting Jewel's chard, kid
biting Jewel's hard dick
Clones, County Monaghan Carbon fibre prosthetic blade stolen
presenteeism
President Obama Kicks Off Germany Trip With Beer Ahead of GSeven Summit
biting the Big Hard Giant Dick Head with Kento
biting hard jewels with Dick
biting hard dicks with Jewel
biting hard dicks with Art Carney
biting hard dicks with Tom Baker
baking tom yum koong with Tom Baker and a young raccoon
taking bombs from Tom Baker
Pokemon Gramcsi and Noone
Pokemon Lenin and McCartney
there's nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil
Pokemon Nikita and Leon
curry flies
that rumors of a Gilmore Girls movie center around Lindsay Lohan and not Alexis Bledel, I mean duh
eating artisan carnitas with Art Carney
some kind of fermented chicken drink
muff pus mints
muffin stumps
fly cruiser
fury slicer
curly fries
rubbing one out in the communal laundry rooom
MICHELLE TANNER IS ETERNAL MICHELLE TANNER CONSUMES ALL MICHELLE TANNER IS INESCAPABLE YOU GOT IT DUDE
Michelle Tanner Will Still Have A Presence On Fuller House
Pokemon Fear and Loathing
biting hard dicks with Jon Arbuckle
drawing a picture of Mrs Buckley being fish fingered by Charlie Briggs and Orson Welles, who gets up and walks out partway though because he was angry at the directors
The House That the Bear Built
The House That BJ Built
Eunice Gayson's sweater
if there's a bright centre of the universe you're staying in the static caravan park that it's farthest from
checking in at Dunston
passing dozens of remote farms in Lincolnshire but not seeing any fish fingers, vegan or otherwise
biting hard dicks with Dickie Arbiter
what's behind boob number one
feeding your lover Fi Glover
giving her three spoons, one for each boob, Number One
giving her three spoons, one for each boob
giving her two OP sons
giving her THREE spoons
one for each boob
giving her two spoons
wirting
FULECO IS LONELY
FULECO'S SCREENPLAY IS COMING ALONG NICELY FULECO WOULD LET YOU READ IT BUT IT WOULD DESTROY YOUR SANITY FULECO IS JUST THAT GOOD AT WIRTING ALSO ANY WHO SURVIVED WOULD TOTALLY TRY TO RIP FULECO OFF
FULECO IS THE AFTERBIRTH OF MANKIND'S FOLLY TO HAVE FULECO AWARNESS IS TO HEAR THE COSMIC SCREAM OF A TRILLION MADMEN
FULECO AWARENESS BURROWS INTO THE BRAIN MEAT OF THIS PATHETIC HUMAN RACE NOW THERE IS NO LIGHT NOW THERE IS NO DARKNESS NOW THERE IS ONLY FULECO
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF TWENTY FIFTEEN THERE IS ONLY FULECO
Christina Huffington Post
FULECO'S AWARENESS IS UNDIMMED IN SILENCE FULECO DESIGNS THE FUTURE ALL HOPE RESTS WITHIN FULECO
the fact that Fuleco, the official mascot of the twenty fourteen world cup, has not tweeted in nearly a year
growlers, now, growlers I got a problem with
I ain't 'fraid of no minge
Christina Huffi
huffing a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci
smelling that girl's bra from the communal laundry room
Man! I Smell Like a Woman!
I smelled like a woman and man, I liked it
the feared scents of poop, quaaludes and minge
the mingled scents of poop, quaaludes and fear
I smelled a little girl and I liked it
it's a fact, man, it's a fact
Ted Danson sucks donkey balls
Justin Bieber found guilty of assault, careless driving in Canada
Lydon and a walrus at Kento
Lydon and Ikeda at Seaworld
Kento, his ass cheeks spread wide
Bono, his taxes withheld
the Captain's Log
Bono, who still hasn't found what he's looking for
Vader, who is your father
Luka, who lives on the second floor
Marlene, who watches from the wall
Temba, his arms wide
Mars Attacks Colon Occupation
If you refuse me I will be blue, waiting all alone
Frankly, both sides were very professional and calm, although I did hear frustration in the voice of one of the Chinese Navy radio operators when he yelled, "You go now!"
I'm peeing myself SENSIBLE! This is ENTIRELY RATIONAL!!!!
Elmos Factory
I'm peeing myself silly! This is hysterical!!!!
Doo, doo, doo, lookin' out my back door
it's lOO% raw vegan
Eating placenta 'does not benefit health'
people who live in white houses shouldn't throw accusations of racist homophobia
no, homo
no, chintz
that's racist
Eleanor Roosevelt was too fond of chintz
hard to calculate
but, hell, what are the odds I'll live another thirty years
really looking forward to watching The Unauthorized The Unauthorized Full House Story Story in which the out of control cocaine snorting antics of Blaise and Kinsley Todd are graphically portrated by two elderly Cambodian men
Have mercy! Lifetime unveils horrifying uncanny valley simulacrum cast of The Unauthorized Full House Story
Have mercy! Lifetime unveils partially melted wax statue cast of The Unauthorized Full House
I gotta love you anyway FOREVER
Do do do do do do do do do together Myke Hawke
I'd be so happy loving you
No Country for John Stamos
Do do do do do do do do do together my love
If every word I said could make you laugh I'd talk forever
having no mercy for John Stamos
Have mercy! Lifetime unveils lookalike cast of The Unauthorized Full House Story
London has Europe's concentrated sewage high on cocaine
London has Europe's highest concentration of sewage in cocaine
London has Europe's highest concentration of cocaine in sewage
Auntie fee's Ox tails
Chris Lydon is ejaculate
Huge Dump Day
Chris Lydon's ejaculate
'Breast', by the way, is a very funny word
Dead Duck Day
'Turtle', by the way, is a very funny word
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Walter Plinge and George Spelvin
Kahlua, Baileys Irish Cream, and Crown Royal
drinking so many Piscos Sour that your piss goes sour
there's truth in the old comedians' adage that you'll always get a laugh with words with the K sound, Yiddish, and references to Chris Lydon's ejaculate
thanks
I laughed
how much funnier the previous regret would have been if I knew anything about mixed drinks and could actually make something plausible
two parts gin, one part peach schnapps, and a dash of podcaster semen
wanting to make Kento a Boston Manhole Explosion for his birthday
Boston manhole explosion colon 'Lucky escape' for ass machine users
Northampton manhole explosion colon 'Lucky escape' for cash machine users
Alton Brown, torture like sun
Alton Brown rollercoaster crash colon 'T####re like sun' heard in video of aftermath
your love is like a roller coaster baby baby, stop this f###ing ride
Eiffel Towers rollercoaster crash colon 'Stop this f###ing ride' heard in video of aftermath
Alton Towers rollercoaster crash colon 'Stop this f###ing ride' heard in video of aftermath
She holds dual British and Canadian citizenship, chehrio
Satisfaction Colon The Art of the Female Orgasm
Near the end of filming, Cattrall had a photographer shoot a roll of film on the Enterprise bridge set, in which she wore nothing but her Vulcan ears
Gropelois Lane
Starsky is grief stricken since he accidentally blinded young artist Jackson C Frank by a shot of his gun
using the 'k' word
Starsky is grief stricken since he accidentally blinded young artist Emily Harrison by a shot of his gun
Gropekento Lane
you ain't got no body
Nomad Foods in talks to buy Findus European frozen food business Lois Gropecunt Lane
shopping the sickest beets
dropping in London
shopping in London
dropping the sickest beets
The actress Kim Cattrall was also booked on the flight but changed her reservation shortly beforehand in order to complete some last minute gift shopping in London
Nomad Foods in talks to buy Findus European frozen food business
Lois Gropecunt Lane
Jackson C Frank getting some shuteye
getting some shuteye
Lois Vagina Lane
Beckman! I Feel Like a Woman
the death of Morris Beckman
these are people who can't grow potatoes, they've got a mutant lawn weed as their national symbol and they can't verbalise the difference between tree and the number three
becoming a shuteye
a rich full bodied wine sensibly priced at a dollar a jug
Crumb, crisp coating
Get me a jury and show me how you can say "in July" and I'll go down on you
We know a certain fjord in Norway, near where the cod gather in great shoals
the fish were vegan, I'm not too sure about the fingers
how long it takes to grill fish fingers
in another life, Eilleen Edwards could have been a superhero's girlfriend
Eilleen Regina Edwards
the best part about being a woman is the prerogative to shower with the girls
can't catch up with the hours you keep
I wish that someone told me that when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE
drinking a Thiomargarita namibiensis
oral sex
An eleven year old said he had gone "looking for empty wrappings to play with" when a French soldier first called him over, later giving the boy food and a little money in exchange for oral sex
Steph Curry is getting sick of hearing about how good looking you think his mom is
if you're so sleepy, we should just have one more penis braid before heading off to bed
Sepp Chuppers
Sepp Blatter schlepping batter
half awake
Sepo
Thiomargarita namibiensis
drawing a picture of Gemma Wales being BT Towered by Jimbo Wales and a bowhead whale
regret number nine five three seven eight
no loud sex noises please, we're British
Sepp Blatter's septic bladder
Woman in Tokyo jailed after making 'sex whale noises'
Woman in Birmingham jailed after making 'Nude Sex Solos I'
Woman in Birmingham jailed after making 'loud sex noises'
having literally just switched off the laptop and not being sure that you can load the entire 'dex without crashing your phone browser
there's only one Kento, at least since the comments were disabled
wondering how many Kentos there are
incidences of swan on the amazing Regret Index
as of this regret there are twenty one hundred and four incidences of swan on the amazing Regret Index
Large Hardon Insider, I hardly know 'er!
turning on the Large Hardon Inside Her
the secret one
wondering which regret index meme has the most entries
turning on the Large Hardon Insider
bottoming for Data in Large Hardon Collider VII
Large Hadron Collider to turn on 'data tap'
the sprite for Clippy
it does give excellent advice, though I don't know why the used the sprite for Clippy
you can laugh all you want, the Microsoft Sommelier is excellent
it's a good idea to make a reservation because they'll run out pretty quickly
reserving a Windows Ten upgrade
Mary Kate and Ashley Opossum
too soon, man
bottoming for tragic junkie Anal Heath Badger in I'll Be Bareback VII, his final role
anal Heath Badger doing an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, and a car
a leather handbag doing an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, and a car
xor only but also
xor only
if only
Vegan Kosher Porkins
bottoming for Kosher Porkins and Ranag Nads in Pork Sandwiches in Uniform VII
Isengard Soldier Punished for Eating Hobbit Pork Sandwich in Uniform
Israel Soldier Punished for Eating Hobbit Pork Sandwich in Uniform
wanting to make Kento a pork sandwich in uniform for his birthday
the sandwich was probably conscripted as well
uniforms hold a certain attraction
wondering why anyone would put a uniform on a pork sandwich
Israel Soldier Punished for Eating Pork Sandwich in Uniform
Man swallows hamster in front of Bambi 'to show deer how life is'
drawing a picture of Go Ikeda being fisted by Rorschach while Doctor Manhattan watches from a far galaxy and masturbates
Capitalism Works for Me!
not if I sjould need to book into a hotel under a pseudonym first
just so you know, if I ever get into gay porn, I'm going to be known as Atticus Felch
looking forward to the Baha Men's new release, "Like a Dog that Returns to its Vomit is a Fool Who Repeats His Folly" in forty years
bottoming for Go Ikeda in Go #### a Watchman VII
bottoming for Atticus Felch in To Dick a Mockingbird VII
Teen Driver's Car Crushed by British Tank in Augustdorf, Germany
Richard 'Number' Wang
FULLY FUNCTIONAL Short Round
FULLY FUNCTIONAL Richard 'Data' Wang
Richard 'Data' Wang
Dick Wang the vegan Dickingbird
Dick Wang
the vegan Dickingbird
Woman With Brazilian Can Now Legally Masturbate At Work
the death of Charles Kennedy
He walked the talk
Brazilian Woman Can Now Legally Masturbate At Work
Man swallows hamster in front of children 'to show how dear life is'
Cornwall mankini ban creates tourism boom
the vegan James Dean
Mock the Dickingbird
Dick the Mockingbird
Misty Malarky Ying Yang Geldof
Misty Malarky Ying Yang
"If my son would have known that this was an officer, he would have never assaulted him," he said
watching pron with your mom looking over your shoulder
tell her she's either in or she's out
I'm not going to have sex with you if your mom is looking over your other shoulder
GTG, being ETbyCLandaW
NIFOC
GYPO, IWSN, MOOS
guessing that anyone who writes onethreethreeseven in a sext to a teen has probably just added a multiple of zero to the calculations on their chances of getting laid
finding it weird that kids are sexting in all caps, except for "pron", which they're not even spelling with a zero
reading an article titled "Fifty Texting Terms Your Kids Don't Want You to Know" and wondering whether it would be funnier if they were entirely made up or actually current among teens, but finding it hilarious either way
still not having seen that movie
Yea Verily West
choosing to be ruled by a dry, whispering voice taunting you from an antique mirror
Kento's nude, dismembered, entirely shaven corpse being found in a locker at a Topeka bus station last Friday
figging Jackson C Frank in the brown eye with a piece of ginger when you were a kid
actually meaning to imply that Kento was a size queen, but this being redundant and unnecessary information
touching Jackson C Frank's eye when you were cutting ginger
implying that Kento is a less than full sized queen
that wasn't very good and I apologize
the different way the dicks wrap Kento on phones compared to full sized queens
the different way the 'dex wraps lines on phones compared to full sized screens
dismembering him
once a man is in your home, anything you do to him is nice and legal, even turning into a monstrous waterfowl and dismembering him
Man convicted of stalking Mila Kunis escapes from mental health facility
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West expecting second child
the mukshart incident
the mudshart incident
drawing a picture of Julius Caesar using red snappers to perform a chariot on Jimmy Page and Robert Plant while John Bonham films the whole thing for Vanilla Fudge
the mudshark incident
whenever people go to temple or to church, they sing "Stinky Book"
whenever people go to temple or to church, they sing "Kinky Boots"
taking your shih tzu to a terrible safari park
feeding Sriracha to your Jirachi
touching a ginger after cutting your eye
touching your eye after cutting ginger
drawing a picture of Taylor Swift deep throating Super Ted and pegging Peter Nippers whilst Sambo Chuppers watches from a tree and masturbates
Taylor Swift Dot DeepthroatsSuperTed Geldof
whittling your wessel
If Fifa is so bad, why is it that the USA wants to keep the Fifa World Cup
Racist Thai Orgy Geldof
Taylor Swift bought the rights to TaylorSwift dot deepthroatsSuperTed
Taylor Swift bought the rights to TaylorSwift dot sucks
deep throating Super Ted
eating out Super Ted
whetting your whistle
beating off Super Ted
eating Super Ted
being Super Ted
being super tired
at least Rihanna didn't get involved this time
the Amazing Thailand branding appears on the back of player's strips
if it stands or if it crumbles only time will tell
Actor Channing Tatum has come out as fat and anon
She has a son and weighs fivehundredfifteen pounds
Leicester City have launched an investigation after claims three of its players appeared in a racist sex tape
As other elephants arrived, they began to scream loudly and buried her under branches
Leafblower Volcano
Honk of a Guy, oh
Honk of a Doll, oh
Hook of Holland
singing 'Getting to Know You' while getting someone to knob you at Nobu
Wallway
Broad Street
To grab your schwanz and have some tool grab your forearm and move it up and down, like he's steering the dick boat into orgasm harbor
Dutch rudders
watching Jack duel is like watching pure poetry in motion
Wall Street
Broadway
Sue Ellen Mischke
Jack Torrance
Actor Channing Tatum has come out as Asian
Actor Channing Tatum has come out as fat
and anon
thence
whither
prank dot link
whence
wherefore
whom
Actor Channing Tatum has come out as gay
when
SANDY Hook the Hidden Knight
what
Riparia riparia RIPARIA
they say in heaven love comes first, but that doesn't include foreplay
oooooh, heaven is a place on earth
heaven is a place where nothing ever happens
Torgo the White
Jacobszoon Lucifer
Riparia riparia
Hook the Hidden Knight
the Scarce Hook tip
Sand Town, Canada
Pig Town, USA
you can really taste the goat
drawing a picture of Prince confronting his sexy accountant with irrefutable evidence of fraud in his accounts
something something little box something mirror something tongue inside
She wasn't too bright but I could tell when she kissed me she knew how to get her kicks
if girl O goto boy
Boy versus girl in the World Series of love slammin'
really liking the way some Prince lyrics read like conditional scripting actions
being amazed at how Prince managed to ride the "He looks like he's gay, but he wants to have sex with me! That's so hot!" wave to sex symbol status
Let's get to rammin'
u sho'nuf do be cookin' in my book
Mila Kumdips
it was the worst buffet ever
Kumdips
Mudkips
The Thing That Hides in the Mud
Ringo Starr was 'one of the luckiest people in history'
George Harrison 'didn't like blunts'
John Lennon last smoked pot 'a long time ago'
Paul McCartney last smoked pot 'twenty years ago today'
Paul McCartney last smoked pot 'a long time ago'
I'm old, I'm not dead
waking up is flaccid to do
Pokemon I Love You and We Only Have Fourteen Hours To Save The Earth
Pokemon Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch
Pokemon Dredd and Robocop
Pokemon Not Xor And
waking up is hard to do
I don't like S
Pokemon I Love You and I Know
Pokemon I Don't Like S and It's Coarse and Rough and Irritating
Pokemon And and Or
Pokemon Sex and the City
four guys bareback and fries
drawing a picture of Goldilocks finding out which bear had chlamydia
drawing a picture of Picard snapping at Data for providing too much technical information before Riker and Worf join in for lots of bareback sex
Without getting too technical, the four guys starting having lots of bareback sex
Cumshots round out the tape, with Toby taking the bears' loads and Benji licking them up
the burning desire that is glowing between her legs
so to answer your question I don't know
golden girls film twentynine colon goldilocks
atticmen seventyfour colon goldilocks and the three bears
goldilocks and the chronicles of pain
goldilocks and the three bares
wondering if there is a Goldilocks and the Three Bears themed porn
getting a bear job from a hairy hooker in the dumpster behind three men and a little lady's house
getting a BJ from a bear
pulling Paul Reiser over a dry riser to dry off
I don't even know where to begin
drawing a picture of Elmo being Eiffel Towered by Greg Evigan and an elephant while Paul Reiser and Fireman Paff tearfully beat each other off
Pokemon The Princess and the Two Elephants
The Princess and the Two Elephants
Elmo's World Colon Elmo Has Two
The cake responded by saying, "Yes, it's a piece of cake"
Why does Ross, the largest F#R#I#E#N#D#, not simply eat the other five
the most Eiffel Towery things podcasters do
the most masturbatory things journalists do
it would seem the government have gone full cockwomble
Michael Rosenbaum with hair
She grew naturally even though her age has been thirtytwo years old now
Talking about her ideal body shape, she actually got natural body as bless
Air pollution and most of the unhealthy processed foods eaten today contribute to conditions causing toxic colons
Sycamore Valley Ranch Undressing
Sycamore Valley Ranch Dressing
Sycamore Valley Ranch
Ball State University
using "will you let me fill your vagina with my sand" as a pickup line
using "Will Wheaton let me fill your vagina with my semen" as a pickup line
using "you will let me fill your vagina with my semen" as a pickup line
using "will you let me fill your vagina with my semen" as a pickup line
Pokemon Vanya Shivashankar and Gokul Venkatachalam
sometimes it's flaccid to be alone
sometimes it's hard to be alone
he even sucks at stabbing
The man Dustin Diamond allegedly stabbed in a bar fight testified in court on Thursday, telling jurors he didn't realize he'd been wounded until after leaving the scene
Tyson vs Secretariat
drawing a picture of Kento being Kentucky Meat Grindered by Colonel Sanders and Seattle Slew
the Kento KY Meat GROWER
the Kento KY Meat Shower
wanting to give Kento a Kentucky Meat Shower for his birthday
The meat appeared to be beef, but two locals who tasted it stated that it tasted like mutton, venison, or lamb
Kentoo Dallas Multipass
drawing a picture of Kento being double Eiffel Towered by Baron Munchausen, John McClane, Bilbo Baggins and a Mondoshawan
Actress Angelina Jolie has had the corners of her lips and the orbit of her hips removed as a preventative measure against cancer
uBlock
at the corner of your lips as the orbit of your hips
I bet money money money I bet
i dot imgur dot com sevensevenNeCGG dot jpg
I wrote mine before yours showed up, so there's no plagiarism there, but I doubt that defense will hold up in court
Yoda, basically
Yoda's anastrophe
Grover's anastrophe
Grover's Latin American cult compound
Grover's trophy wife
Grover's apostate gnosticism
Grover's apostrophes
it has it's grocers' apostrophe's
it has it's moments
pretty much right now
xkcd one five two one
freaky ghost bed
Kento vs Predator
I ain't 'fraid of no bed
this really IS a weird site
Kento's face is smeared with mud, and there are leafy twigs in his hair
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by an invisible man and a chameleon
an invisible man sleepin' in your bed
an invisible bed
sleepin makes me feel good
I can tell what you're thinking, Myke Hawke is sinking too
that Ridgedog really doesn't update his YouTube channel enough and you're never around for streams
seeing things sleeping in your bed
I can tell what you're thinking, my heart is sinking too
sucking her RIGHT one until she had a breastPOCALYPSE
sucking the left one of a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci until she had wafflegasm in the communal laundry room at church
the flinching isn't a Racist British thing fyi
I'm more or less worthless, but I'm sure my pelt would be worth something to creepy collectors
I don't really feel like going all the way to England to sue you, so you're off the hook this time
be sure to get Roman Polanski in as a co claimant
well, I'm boned
I'm pretty sure that there are enough similarities between the two regrets to mount a plagiarism case
kind of flinching away from her to this day
when the heat of a rolling wind can be turned away
subconscious copy
ohhhhh
there's something in the way that you're talking
sand
wondering if nine five four three four was a follow up to nine five three two nine, or if you just subconsciously copied it
apparently she's a director now
I don't understand the particulate matter thing
incidentally you have found my one weakness and must now be destroyed, or the gods will be bloody livid
knowing Natalie Portman as the person to whom every dumbass Canadian feels compelled to confess their intense hatred of particulate matter
that really seriously you only watched the Prequels because you loved Star Wars, but honestly, you haven't watched any Star Wars movie since whenever it was you liveregretted them a few years back
that you saw V for Vendetta but you haven't seen any of her films since then, including Black Swan which you kind of want to see, and Leon, which you really loved during college, with the exception of the Star Wars Prequels
being only vaguely aware of Natalie Portman via inescapable headlines, DVD box art in supermarkets and the occasional magazine cover or you assume back cover perfume ad
it sounds mean, but it's not like I'm saying they're stupid, they're just people
having worked with Cambridge undergraduates and graduates for protracted periods and being honestly able to say they aren't as a cohort notably intelligent, just focused on their usually narrow special interests, and expecting the same is true of Harvard
not being sure you ever saw a single episode of Full House, though reading Full House Reviewed a lot of season six felt familiar despite the fact that the clips you've since seen don't raise even the slightest recognition
wondering if Fuller House will simply be more feelgood schlock that ignores the problematic themes and issues raised by Full House Reviewed, or if it will have some kind of post millennial self awareness
'Full House' star Lori Loughlin confirms she'll return for sequel
wondering why it is that Natalie Portman, who graduated from Harvard and by most accounts is fairly intelligent, sounds brick stupid in every role you've seen her in
disinterring George Segal's corspe and plastering the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated young boys
plastered human skulls
Who Let the Mockingbird Out
stepping on a duck at a PETA convention
turning that Twat into a Quack
The Bachelor
again, Big Brother
proposing a reality show in which people who are exclusively straight or gay are made to have sex with people of the opposite gender to which they are attracted for money
Harper Lee is frequently referred to as "the Baha Men of literature"
turning that Twix into a Quax
freaky man baby
she can eat shit because Steve Bruce has published three
Harper Lee has famously only published one novel in her lifetime
A vicar who made a YouTube video to tell her congregation she was HIV positive says she has been "humbled" by their reaction
diblings
someone in a bar fight
circumstances
America's Next Two Gape Salve
David GRANDDuchovny 'started crying' when reading new X Files script
David Duchovny 'started masturbating' when reading new X Files script
David Duchovny 'started peeing' when reading new X Files script
David Duchovny 'started crying' when realizing his career was basically dead
America's Next Top Wage Slave
Britain's Flaccidest Grifter
Fear Factor
that you didn't even know what a grafter is until you googled, as you originally read it as grifter
David Duchovny 'started crying' when receiving a swift kick to the balls
we are not who we believe ourselves to be
it wasn't supposed to be like this
living in a country where the desperately poor contribute taxes that are paid out to private companies as a bribe for them to take on the poor as free labourers, who are themselves paid only the social security money they contributed to
McDonald's to hire the desperately poor on zero hours minimum wage contracts to serve garbage to the poor
sometimes wondering if you don't adjust all too easily to new circumstances
that basically you're just relieved that eternal winter didn't descend on the land three weeks ago
being extremely angry about Britain's Hardest Grafter until you realised the poor humiliating themselves on television is basically what Big Brother has been doing for the last fifteen years, and it's not like there weren't shows like that before
if your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum, you've strangled someone in a bar fight
finding something particularly dystopian about a TV show produced with public money wherein the desperately poor, who themselves paid money towards its production, compete to win a "prize" worth a fraction of what any one of the producers makes
David Duchovny 'started crying' when reading new X Files script
a swift kick to the balls
McDonald's to chin its buns longer
McDonald's to toast its buns longer
this site really is kind of weird
being in over your head
wading into the female ejaculation
carrying an umbrella
wading into the female ejaculation debate
dysfunctional prostate glands quite heavily
there is a real possibility that mainstream porn in fact showcases dysfunctional prostate glands quite heavily
UTI Colon The Urinary Tract Infection
wondering if there are enough bladder infection fetishists out there to make seven of them
bottoming for Willy Nilly in Urinary Dysfunction VII
that we just throw these gay porn titles around willy nilly, but I wonder if there really is a porn series that showcases dysfunction and infection of the urinary system
yeast joke
hose barley
bottoming for Sepp Blatter in Septic Bladder VII
sock hops
long and lean and lanky and hungry, the girl from Ipanema goes walking and when she passes each one she passes goes "what makes your big head so hard"
he's fat, gay, and Asian and has had way too much to eat
she's long, lean, and lanky and ain't had nothing to eat
graft hard with a vengeance, cheerio
our shadows taller than our soul
Catheter Chan
a cheeky Kento's
playing ConnectCATHETER with your pretty, sneaky sis
playing ConnectIV with your pretty, sneaky sis
Star Trek Colon BrItaIn's Hardest Grafter
Wikipedians wage war over a capital "I" in a "Star Trek" film Britain's Hardest Grafter
Wikipedians wage war over a capital "I" in a "Star Trek" film
Britain's Hardest Grafter
praying to a big god as you kneel in the big church
White columns show great influence
having sex with a girl until she used the word "Jumanji"
having sex with a girl until she used the word "waffletastic"
'JUMANJI' STAR ROBIN WILLIAMS BURNS TO DEATH IN MYSTERY FIRE
a cheeky Nando's
I'd just like a Milky Way
What's Dylan Grillin'
Guide to the Races of Star Trek
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
bustin' makes me feel good
Nut Club Fall Jets
Nut Club Fall Sharks
West Side Nut Club Fall Festival Story
dying flaccid
joining Team Vegan Vagina Vagrant
joining Team Vagrant
joining Team Vagina
the West Side Nut Club Fall Festival
trappist beer
dying hard
joining Team Vegan
not knowing what possessed you to watch all five Die Hard movies over five consecutive nights, but not feeling it was a wasted experience
the invisible giant you turn to when you're about to die hard
the invisible giant you turn to when you're about to die
Pokemon Myke Hawke and Mainus
that seltzer ain't free
wondering which is a better means of assisting your decision making processes, the Charlie Charlie Challenge, the Dice Man method, or the amazing Regret Index
the Charlie Charlie Challenge
it definitely has a right way and a wrong way of being inserted
thinking the pineapple would be too acidic
replacing the meat in your anus lately with pineapple
Pokemon Mary Kate and Ashley
I would empty my bank account and give everything I have to any writer who includes a joke about the death of Heath Ledger in Michelle's apartment
wondering what kind of tone Fuller House will take, like will they show self awareness about how much the show sucked and appeal to the sarcastic millennials who grew up on it, or will they try to replicate the white bread feel of the original
samepicofdavecoulier dot tumblr dot com
Your F#ckin' Money with Bob Geld#f
It's F#ckin' Late with Dave Coulier
it was a lesson
wondering where you drove
replacing the meat in your anus lately with cucumber
being so depressed by that ship shaped crater filled with cymbals that you decided to create a needlepoint bird to go in front of it, but everyone said you didn't need to besew gong hole a bow tit
there's no team without meat
replacing the meat in your sandwiches with Kento
replacing the meat in your sandwiches early with cucumber
Chris Cringer
Cringer
Urethra Franklin
getting into Kento and driving him for a couple of hours starting in about ten minutes
getting into a car and driving it for a couple of hours starting in about ten minutes
wondering if this is Margaret or Frenchie
sometimes there are days when I feel like I don't have a partner, sometimes I feel like my only friend is bottoming for Myke Hawke in City of Anals, lonely as I am, together we cry
sometimes there are days when I feel like I'm just way over head, like I'm not qualified to dream up titles for imaginary gay porn films
dancing with Myke, hawk to cock
dancing with Myke, crotch to crotch
dancing with me, crotch to crotch
dancing with me, Koch to Koch
everybody has off days
replacing the meat in your sandwiches lately with cucumber
II Koch II Furious
I'm just out of it today
that's pretty good
Koch II Koch
being double Eiffel Towered by the Koch brothers, Hawk Koch, and Myke Hawke in I don't know how to finish this joke
being double Eiffel Towered by the Bros twins and the Hos twins in Bros Before Hos VII
Hos
Bros
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, eh
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
stealing that girl in second grade who looked like Christina Ricci's bra until she had a breastgasm in the bathroom at church
Julian Assange's wikipedia page including a photo of protesters bearing signs that read "Assange is Assangeous"
Julian Assange's wikipedia page including a photo of protesters bearing signs that read "outrage is outrageous"
Julian Assange's wikipedia page including a photo of protesters bearing signs that read "courage is courageous"
counting Julian Assange
Rape more frequent in Sweden than India, and that's just counting Julian Assange
Rape more frequent in Sweden than India
a good day to Dye Harde
you're everywhere and nowhere baby
a good day to die hard, Qapla'
stealing that bro's girl from the communal laundry room
hesitating, and showing me what you're feeling
Les Bonnes Excuses des Mauvais Conducteurs
palestinimanji
cub endangerment charges
jumanji
not being sure shitting in the woods counts as domestic violence even if it is technically child endangerment
Bears release Ray McDonald after arrest on domestic violence, child endangerment charges, da Bears
stealing way too many bras at university
he wants to be available while the kids are on summer vacation
Polish court adjourns Polanski extradition case until mid September
a good day to die hard
doing way too many drugs at university
not somehow preventing your best friend from going out that one night when she got raped
being put on Seroquel
doing way too many drugs in high school
I Taxed Hunky Aquae
Kenteaux Iquaydah
Eiffel Towel Day
naming your Asian bar "The Watering Hole"
naming your fat bar "The Watering Hole"
Towel Day
Art Garfunkel calls Paul Simon a 'filthy neutral' for splitting duo at height of success
Art Garfunkel calls Paul Simon a 'jerk' for splitting duo at height of success
silvioberlusconiofficial
Stefan Urquelle
naming your gay bar "The Watering Hole"
well, now that I've finished Full House Reviewed it's time to start Saved By the Bell Reviewed
Her memory says that they have to hug to rejoin but it would have been way cooler if Michelle had to devour her
The uncles assure her that, yes, her mom was pretty, and Joey gives this creepy nod that clearly says, "I used to beat off to her all the time, as a matter of fact, I still do"
Danny explains that her mom died horribly in a violent car crash eight years ago, so her corpse has got to be pretty rotten and chewed up by now, especially since it was already all twisted and broken when they put her in the ground
Yes! He said it! I really wasn't sure if he was going to! Best catch phrase ever! It makes "have mercy" seem like a big piece of shit!
They ask, "how old," and she says, "old enough to carry a shovel," because I guess that Nicky and Alex's future whores are doomed to the same fate that all of the mysteriously disappeared love interests that have entered the full house have fallen victim
As I watched them writhe around on the floor together, moaning and grunting, I thought back to all the times that I've watched them grope and manhandle one another, and I felt like a whole chapter of my life was coming to a close
Michelle expresses her concern about not winning the competition, which is successfully conveyed by her outstretched arms with palms facing upward, but Danny tells her that he doesn't care if she wins as long as she beats Elizabeth
He then suggests that Jesse should try eating Ho Hos instead and mentions that sucking out the cream filling is always relaxing for him and it's pretty clear that he's offering Jesse a blowjob
drawing a picture of Kento being Prisoner's Dilemma'd by John Nash and Kevin Nash
Hot Daddy and the Monkey Puppets
in search of a cure for a rampant fever
one of the bread guys has a vagina
a sleep trance, a dream dance, a shared romance
The two of them dangling helplessly upside down from a thin cord above a dangerous chasm seems like a pretty apt metaphor for their relationship
last time I saw her she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass
Becky makes a very clear allusion to the fact that she's not gonna fuck Jesse later because he's being such a shithead, which is actually pretty awesome
Add this to the list of episode titles that could be a euphemism for anal sex
one of the bad guys has a vagina
if there was somebody else to do it I would let them do it, but there's not, so we're doin' it
the bad guys look like Janice Dickinson
the amazing clunky giant cellphones of just eight years ago index
the amazing clunky giant cellphones of just eight years ago
the bad guys are French
playing conkers in Yonkers
living free xor dying hard
quite a lot of the life of John Nash
the death of John Nash
you be Brian Peppers raw
I eat Brian Peppers raw
I eat the peppers raw
Becky is touched by this display of love that only a murderer would think of so they make up
Regardless of how she's dressed, she's still about seventeen years old, and therefore this sequence is illegal
I've brought you a crate of papaya
completely buttery losing
completely losing lottery
completely losing battery
shoot
letting her speak first
Salter's Lode
big juice is nice
eating peas with Harvey Cream
eating peas with vegan honey
eating peas with honey
the traditional hour of pointless squabbling before you can leave an elderly relative's home
sometimes wondering what the deal is with other regretters but knowing that you're always going to get a gay answer
wondering how you prepare the peppers
eating in a restaurant that smells like death
Anyway, they try to start the performance back up but they realize that they're butchering a beloved Ace of Base song so they run off stage
I never really noticed before because his potential gayness is a like a mere candle next to the blinding supernova of Derek's undeniable homosexuality, but he definitely has some homopotential
realizing that the thing that was, and still is, making your dumps smell like burning tires is red bell peppers
One of the twins says, "I went number one," and then the other one says, "I watched," which is pretty weird
Magic Hole Golem
In the living room, Michelle asks Becky what you call a boy ladybug and Becky replies, "confused," which is a totally transphobic joke
To simultaneously penetrate both the vagina and anus with two clenched fists
goblinoids
same
feeling like your life is nothing but alternating periods of extreme stress and extreme boredom
dual wielding
big van bangers
jumping dogging pilferers on a skateboard
yeah, like that
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL, MAN
sometimes wondering what the deal is with other regretters but knowing that you're never going to get a straight answer
elder penis gun
penis dungs reel
pee underlings
gender lineups
unripe legends
slowly breaking down on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car
slowly breaking down
undersleeping
the velvet fog, da bears
the velvet frog
when one takes the moisture from one's own or another's flatulence and uses it to masturbate with
the velvet fog
I guess the spirits thought the main vision was a little thin
jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard
dyeing hair, with a vagina
getting a handjob in a public restroom from John Hancock
livin' with the things you do to me
Pokemon Vicious and Clean
if you sleep too long the fire goes out
dying hard, with a vegan
you haven't been given your best souvenir
bitterly ironic bits of synchonicity
stupid little bits of zenyatta mondatta
driving past some kids just hanging out on a public lawn the way that teenagers do and thinking "I used to do that, it's summertime, and the weather is fine, I can reach right up and touch the sky" but then nope, endless drudgery for you
MORNING SWAN NO ONE IMO
standing here with your thumb up your ass waiting for this freakin' thing to blow up
something something Wankhouse
enacting Porn Laws to deal with puberty
making puberty history
it's Christmas, you could steal City Hall, I'm walkin' here
not even god knows what you're doing
bottoming for Jeremy Irons in Jeremy's Iron VII
stupid little bits of synchronicity
bending down, isn't it a pity
dying hard, with an erection
dying hard, with a vengeance
we danced like two snowflakes in the fallen wind
I think it's called my destiny
faking it and smiling, living in denial and bleeding and aching, barely awake
not finding Dr Demento or the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band amusing
because you're older than twelve
the fingerprints on me from you
attention seeking catfish
attention seeking regrets SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
attention seeking subject, must have gsoh, own bathtub
attention seeking reporting
attention seeking clothing
living in relative puberty
living below the puberty line
attention seeking puberty
attention seeking poverty
attention seeking regression
attention seeking regrets
I'm gonna be pretty disappointed
Galaxy Kid SixSixSix
not finding Dr Demento or the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band amusing because you're older than twelve
dementia
these liberties were never meant for me
driving past some kids just hanging out on a public lawn the way that teenagers do and thinking "I used to do that, it's summertime, I should be doing at least a little of that, age appropriate of course" but then nope, endless drudgery for you
being just so bored with it all
attention seeking careers
attention seeking behavior
blow me down this wind is getting breezier
or possibly just an asshole
seriously thinking that your father may be in the early stages of dementia
rubbing one out until she had the hugest dump
If this episode doesn't end up being about DJ getting an abortion I'm gonna be pretty disappointed
DJ then refuses because Michelle is a raging asshole who can't even feign tact out of desperation
I'll be the judge of that
they're real and they're spectacular
gay up jugs!
finding out that, well, you need keys to the artesian well on Sark from Anita Sarkeesian
now remember, your name is Homer Thompson
straight up jugs!
spooning Gia's gugs
spooning Jewel's jugs
stealing that girl's abraj from the kudai laundry room
Abraj Kudai
wearing heels is, excuse the pun, a right drag
Danny tells Gia that he really enjoys putting his penis inside of her moms vagina and then he makes a bunch of lame jokes about cologne or something
Also, and I fully recognize that I'm a bad person who should go to jail for pointing this out, but, good lord, Gia's got some straight up jugs!
Danny comes in and mentions how hot it is outside, then he starts beating off under the table while he describes the sweaty construction workers that he just saw working with their shirts off outside
Danny's presence successfully desiccates Marcia Wallace's vagina, as it's done for so many women so many times before, and so she's finally able to control herself enough to hold an actual meeting with Joey
Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen won't be on 'Rueful Holes' semicolon Uncle Jesse 'kroner bathe'
Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen won't be on 'Fuller House' semicolon Uncle Jesse 'heartbroken'
Uncle Leo
The sailors of the Royal Canadian Navy use the term kippers as a slang for members of the Royal Navy
Finally, Danny tells Stephanie to take her ass upstairs to wipe that skank off her face
Comet continues to chase the wiener car until he spots a fine ass bitch and then they run off together to go fuck
I guess it's not at all surprising that these self obsessed assholes would sit around and watch their own shitty show together
They might as well have just kicked him in the nuts
having impure thoughts about taking the hugest dump in the bathroom at church
being slightly weirded out by the lead villain in Die Hard II being Sloan of Section ThirtyOne
I zap any bastard that screws with me
Danny tells Joey to get out of the bathroom so DJ can take her enormous shit but then Joey points out that he has to share a hallway and bathroom with three little girls and he just wants an hour to himself to beat off in the bathtub
DJ complains to Joey that he's been in the bathroom for almost an hour and then AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Derek sings "Paper Moon," which triggered momentary synesthesia for me when it evoked the smell of anal lubricant
Little Richard walks into the kitchen just as Danny utters his oft mentioned phrase to Joey, "I'll toss the salad"
Their segue to get up and ditch their dates is that they're going to go "check out the lobster tank" which is probably some sort of really disgusting euphemism
it's not that tough being a film cricket
on top of oily enema fop, with many audible fistulae
A ginger haired right wing extremist wrote about killing Prince Charles in the hope of making his red headed son Harry king
on top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies
Finally, I tried to devise a tasteful joke about how both of Michelle's best friend candidates are half black and she could have combined them by drawing a whole black person but I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't gonna sound racist
Danny says that he's tired of only pretending to be in a heterosexual relationship every other weekend and wants to set a wedding date with Vicky so he can start living a lie full time
Joey practices ballet in the basement with Stephanie while wearing tights that totally show off his nut sack
Her conviction is undeniable due to her outstretched arms with the palms facing up
This bit isn't funny and then continues to not be funny and then it just makes you want to kill yourself
OH MY GOD WHAT IS KIMMIE GIBBLER WEARING!!
Fuck that shit, and fuck Papouli in his decrepit, deceased anus
HE'S NOT HELPING ANYONE! EVERYONE IN THAT HOUSE IS SO TERRIBLE BUT HE IS THE WORST ONE! THE ABSOLUTE WORST! HE'S FINALLY GIVING THEM AN OUT! JUST TELL HIM TO LEAVE! DO IT! PLEASE, JUST TELL HIM THAT HE HAS TO MOVE OUT!
Michelle in particular is perturbed by this event, and I kept waiting for her to utter some sort of anti Japanese racial slur
the game show is about couples and will feature Danny and Vicky as an engaged couple, DJ and Steve as a dating couple, and Jesse and Becky as a married couple, because who wants to watch anything that's not all about the people in the full house, right
Then Michelle kisses him and he totally jizzes in his pants
the Oxygen Holocaust
Danny presses a frozen rump roast against his sore back and makes orgasmic moaning sounds that immediately nullify my relief over not having had to see him in those little undies
This provides Jesse with the epiphany that the best way to make the Smash Club as boring and lame as everything else in his life is to not serve booze or have an age limit
Mickey asks Stephanie if she wants to hang out after school and she says, "I do, but my lungs don't," which doesn't even make any fucking sense at all
While the babies are coloring she starts to pretend that a white crayon is a cigarette and then her mimed smoking provokes one of the twins to say, "bah stuffy"
I think we've only seen her like twice but every time a girl grows boobs or acts slutty or something it's always Kathy Santoni
Bringing the episode to a close, the dog starts eating the desserts off of Joey's ass
that Bai Ling is bilingual
Dai Ling, your Welsh Chinese friend, rook you now
betting Alan Rickman does a really classy Kenneth Williams impression
we're gonna need some more FBI guys I guess
Dai Ling, your Welsh Chinese friend
the hard, the
She also juts her face forward whenever she makes these aggravating statements, like she's just daring you to punch it
DJ worries that Steve's still into his old girlfriend and Becky reassures her that Steve is only into stick in the mud girls who never put out and have corny, overbearing families
I'm not an expert
It also seems feasible to me that Becky would interpret this pregnancy news dinner as Jesse's way of telling her that he knocked up a prostitute or something
you're the medical expert
in nineteen eighty nine, John McClane had been a cop for eleven years
seriously, you should patent the abstract for that and grab the trademark
Tarzan need pill get erection
coining 'Clitix'
think it just an American thing
clitic tribbing
wondering if you have those commercials in the UK too, or if it just an American thing
clitic doubling
genuinely being surprised that 'Clitix' is not a new pharmaceutical for incresing clitoral sensitivity whose commercials bombard your TV during dinner hours, and which you are demanded to 'ask your doctor if Clitix is right for you'
genuinely being surprised that 'clitics' is not a neologism referring to some brand of female centric internet review
The Keanu Reeves guy agrees to go back to school and then everyone on the whole train cheers and then a friendly black fellow plays the graduation march on his saxaphone and then, motherfucker! They have a fake graduation ceremony on the train after all
I figured that these two assholes women advice would be all about how to get them to let you put it in their butt, or how to get them to pay your rent or something
clitics
DJ and Steve enter the scene, and the audience all go "woo!" and "ow!" at the sight of him, which is kind of a new thing
Danny takes Michelle's hand and hurriedly escorts her home before some yard monitor sees how inappropriate their interactions are and calls child services
I honestly can't think of a worse way to spread awareness about the importance of helping the needy than to show a bunch of rich white people sitting around their kitchen talking about it
having impure thoughts about a teenage Kimmie Gibbler
If the station actually was going to switch to classical music, I don't think that they'd expect their DJ's to perform the music with their mouths
Damn, Kimmie Gibbler, your body's hecka slammin'!
telling that girl in seventh grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to take a big disgusting shit
taking the biggest, most disgusting shit
taking a big disgusting shit in the bathroom at church
Stephanie washes her hands after taking a big disgusting shit in the bathroom at the Junior High
I think that this would be a way better show if a gigantic convict played the role of Michelle
humping Sylvia Browne
bottoming for Crotch Personn in MoWang VII
Also, one of the Jennifers is Crotch!
Also, one of the Jennifers is Notch!
Notch
Also, one of the Jennifers is Topanga!
Seriously, this episode is about how Michelle's irrational fear of cryptozoological creatures inhibits Joey's performance at a hockey game
presque vu tante
tongue kissing your aunt
cheeriooooooo, werewolves of London, cheeriooooooooooo
little twitches people can't explain
these urges
early evening
pigs, peccaries, and hippopotamuses
Wrong Way Tanner
Naturally, it's vanilla
Paul Blart vs Superman
there's always blood on the Monday ones
You still wear panties that say Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Christina Ricci Winona Riding Volunteer
Christina Ricci Colon Riding Volunteer
An American Girl Colon McKenna Shoots for the Stars
how much obscene fanart there is for any Simpsons character
man don't even joke about that
the death of Amy Jo Johnson
Damn, y'all, Stephanie handled more dicks than Samantha on Bewitched!
the loser of elections, the big election loser in the UK
the death of Amy Johnson
Maybe not as much as you'd think that the mother of these kids would be upon seeing them naked in a tub with Danny's gangly, freckled, lizard like body, but she definitely makes some acknowledgement of how creepy and weird what we're seeing is
Watching him on screen for one second is like watching a thousand hours of hardcore gay anal sex
Captain Mutiny
It seems weird to pit bodybuilding middle aged men twins against poetry reading little girl twins and stuff like that
everyone tells him that they're really proud of him because that's what you tell a sorry ass loser when he's trying to achieve some meager pathetic goal
Pseudoruminants
Using a milk frother, gradually whisk small amounts of powdered sugar into melted semen until it reaches a creamy airy consistency
Gazpacho
Vichyssoise
Not only is he sleeping through his very first day at work, but he pawned all of his responsibilities off on Joey, the sorriest piece of shit on Earth
how much obscene fanart there is for Allison Taylor even though she was only in like one episode
FREE INSIDE! ONE JAGGED METAL KRUSTY O!
spilling your turtles
turtles all the way down
Le chat qui detestait les gens
Disembodied mouth and hands repeatedly saying "Mammy, Mammy, Mammy" in the style of Al Jolson
she's old enough to play an adult man's mother in a reboot of a classic series
when asked how he'd managed to protect civil rights leaders given his commitment to nonviolence, Johnson replied, "With my nonviolent thirtyeight special"
I guess, I mean she's got to be like forty by now
wondering if Allison Tailor would date me for my anagram prowess
why would they come to our concert just to boo us
Thighway to the Erogenous Zone
also considered was "Highway to the Erogenous Zone"
bottoming for Kenny Lingus in Red Wings VII
bottoming for Kenny Lingus in Thighway to the Danger Zone VII
having impure thoughts about a teenage Allison Tailor
Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, and Lisa
Janice Dickinson is suing Bill Cosby for defamation
bottoming for Kenny Lingus in Ain't No Messina VII
Kenny Lingus
Cthulunnilingus
loggin' in as Kenny Loggins
Pokemon Loggins and Messina
Pokemon Cunnilingus or Analingus
drawing a picture of Cthulhu and Flying Spaghetti Monster arguing about which is more fun to perform, cunnilingus or analingus
knowing all of Kenny Loggin's passwords for scottishancestry dot com
the METRO RAIL, the
the Bart, the
dead Bart
dead Eiffel Towering
dead reckoning
dead lettering
dead managing
dead agenting
at Waterboo, Napobean did surrender
the Peterboo massacre
Google Maps shits down editing after 'robot peeing' incident
Google Maps shuts down editing after 'I pet Go boner' incident
Google Maps shuts down editing after 'Peter booing' incident
Google Maps shuts down editing after 'robot peeing' incident
drawing a picture of Holly Bobo eating haribo at Hobby Lobby
the death of Holly Bobo
Robert Watang's prick
cornholing Willie Mays not wearing panties
John Connor's all "you could be mine" sextape
in the summertime in the city
bottoming for Raul Prawn in Hardcore PrOn VII
Toonces, the Cat Who Could Drive a Car
saying "say, that's a nice buike"
ogling Raul Prawn
ogling Ron Burrito
ogling Ron Paul
shoddily built malls
John Connor's all "you could be mine" mixtape
you can totally see it
Robert Patrick's wang
Robert Patrick's wank
wondering what causes the disproportionate number of skulls found in the future presented by Terminator Two Colon Judgement Day
despite the heat it'll be all right
summer in the city
not wearing panties masturbating with your cut off hand
her name is Rio and she dances on this hand
Panthro loses pants at Disney On Ice
clefairy windows
clerestory windows
Beast loses pants at Disney On Ice
his name is Kento and he munches on the glans
her name is Rio and she's coarse and rough and irritating
always remembering the songs of Duran Duran in your mind as though sung by Alan Partridge
I'm not aware of too many things, I know what I know, if you know what I mean
spring has gone and summer keeps on coming on
her name is Kips and she dances in the mud
nobody can throw the ball like Catfish can
Everyone gathers together to watch Becky's news show while they eat snacks off of Joey, which is the first time ever that he's actually been useful for something
her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Crimmins
Your Russian Girlfriend Checklist
The deceased wore a blouse, bra, and slacks, but no panties
She said discussions are underway on the future of another Twin Peaks in Harker Heights, Texas, owned by the same "relatively new" franchisee, Peaktastic Beverages, LLC
post traumatic smurf disorder
hesitating, and showing me your intention
broadbeans in your hedgerow
broadbeans in your horizons
broadening your chorizos
drawing a picture of CthreePO and Cookie Monster arguing about which is more fun to perform, cunnilingus or analingus
homogeneous plastic mass
Jesse starts the car up and it begins to shoot oil out of the windshield wipers, which is a very common indication that a car might have something wrong with it
rich, buttery sustenance
seriosu shortcomings
glancing away during the musical montage and consequently having no idea what is going on
Ocean's Canoes
letting me know the wonder
singing Jive Talkin' to a talking chive
Kim Jong un's chariot overturned
Kim Jong Un criticises turtle farm for failing to breed lobsters
Kim Jong Un's iron fist causing backlash
Age of Canoe
Age of Ocean
Michael Flatley
yeah, it's a ballsack zits
yeah, it's a ballroom blitz
I lose Myke Hoole when she steps in the room
electric eyes that you can't ignore
odobene queen
no more love up the bum
no more love on the run
Cetacean's Eleven
that my character from three eight five one two was named Billy Ocean
Batman vs Ocean
never really understanding why Billy Ocean needed to rob all those casinos, what with his music career and all
wondering when we'll get the Ocean's Eight, Nine, and Ten prequels
FOURpiobeing
threepioeating
threepeating
Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery
The Waco shootout, bike nights and Texas's 'breastaurant' corridor
the whole issue needs to be resolved by the United Nations Comission on Unspeakable Sex Act Nomenclature, or UNCUSAN
how much disagreement there is on rbadncitttioneriay regarding how many many are required to "run a train," with some authors needing only three, and others demanding as many as seven participants to qualify for the term
He and Kathie Santoni, whose titties were mentioned just moments ago, are like the champions of Full House tertiary characters
Kimmie Gibbler comes over and tries to comfort DJ's post breakup status by bringing the entire wrestling team over to railroad her
Being an obnoxious cell phone user is Full House worthy behavior
Becky is a fucking tv talk show host, she does not need to be living like Anne Frank
Pokemon Waffles and Eiffel Towering
the Belgium thing is totally about waffles, though, what else could it be
The representative from Fat Fish Records tells Becky that they want Jesse to tour Asia for an entire year, spreading his terrible covers of songs that weren't even that good in the first place across a once proud land
I wonder why she felt the need to include that last detail when she left the message with Jesse, especially since it immediately convinces Danny that Vicky is about to get gang banged by the Chicago Bears
Google used to think the same thing, and that was before the amazing Regret Index even existed
all the Eiffel Towering references makes it think that you must be near Boston, wicked pissah
Facebook demanding to know if your fake account lives kind of vaguely within a twenty minute drive of where you actually live, or randomly in Stavelot in Belgium or Spencer, Massachusetts
Gentle music plays during an overly long shot of Becky consoling the babies, which plays out extra weird because the babies are clearly unaffected by anything that's going on
holding your left boob until you run down the stairs
I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "prurient" and it had dice in the mirror
wondering if Jaden Smith would star in a sitcom in which he portrays a rich child who is forced to move from his luxurious Malibu home to West Philadelphia after getting in a fight
DJ takes her first step into womanhood by telling Danny that he can suck a fat turd because she's gonna see her hungry wrestling team boyfriend whether he likes it or not
becoming the Randy Praetorian of Rancho Park
becoming the Virginal Duke of Venice
Later, Danny whines to DJ and Stephanie about the pains of being in a long distance relationship, like how his only sexual outlet is having the dog lick peanut butter off his balls
Brazen bear attempts bold break out from zoo enclosure, da Bears
shining flock
clonk fishing
becoming the Prurient Pharaoh of Pacific Palisades
Into the Wild Wild West
Bel Air has no Prince, Bel Air needs no Prince
becoming the Saucy Viscount of Brentwood
how you became the Prince of a town called Bel Air
telling a story, all about how, your life got flipped, turned upside down
strange light shimmering over the sea tonight
They make the Brady Bunch look like the fucking Rat Pack
eating Hulk's mash
Waiters do not order incrementally
Thankfully they kept that shot of Lori Loughlin bending over and showing us her ass, which I'll really miss if they ever get rid of it, unless she's wearing short shorts and grinding her pelvis in the new one or something
Kento "The Overt Homosexuality" Ikeda
His sister is played by his real life sister, who's one of the sisters from Sister, Sister
bench pressing a French press
blackballing Balin
Richard Nixon and Robocop
Patrick Stewart, Elmo and Ian McKellen
scrolling down awesomepeoplehangingouttogether until you get to Kate Middleton and Idris Elba and honestly, it's probably a cliche and she probably has met black people before, but you have to kind of wonder
being born too late for wooing Joan Jett and too early for wooing that girl at the deli whose age you cannot actually discern
The dads calmly explain to her that what she's saying is fucking crazy and her stupid little girl feelings are ridiculous
building a miniature of a city out of apples in Kento's fat ass
building a miniature of a city out of apples in Minneapolis
Kento's fat ass
Kento's front
salting Kento's fatback
Kento's fatback
Muthafuckas step to Oakland get stabbed, son
Jesse sees the babies crawl and that's the end of the Jesse not seeing the babies crawl subplot
Kento's back
Oh, glory be! The overt homosexuality makes a triumphant return!
Michelle's good side dresses like a hippy and tells her not to do bad things and the evil one dresses like Little Steven from the E Street band and acts like a condescending asshole, which isn't really very much different from how Michelle acts
the "poo flinger test"
Michelle bleeds, Vicky and Danny have sex, Michelle learns to ride her stupid bike
it becomes apparent that Danny and Michelle are simulating the tucking in process hours ahead of time since Danny'll be balls deep in Vicky's roofied vagina by the time Michelle's actual bedtime rolls around
So then they take the babies upstairs and the first thing that Jesse does is show his bed to the babies and tell them that this is where he fucks their mom
the "two finger test"
Mrs Icy Yule
just now discovering Ariel Winter and having a feeling that you're going to be having LOTS of impure thoughts soon
it's a little late for SEO
Miley Cyrus
remembering the nineties as a decade in which a woman could become rich and famous in her own right for merely having a famous family and singing and dancing in her underwear
seeing a headline about Janet Jackson having a new tour and honestly thinking she was already dead
Yanni having impure thoughts about a teenage Christopher Robin, oh bother
Yanni
having impure thoughts about a teenage Christopher Robin, oh bother
having impure thoughts about a teenage crimefighter Robin
having impure thoughts about a teenage Christopher Robin
America's scrod basket
having impure thoughts about a teenage Christopher Lydon
Gloria "Ripples" Brancusi
having impure thoughts about a teenage Christopher Norris
It has a starfish on the fanny, and it comes with its own pail
a game that simulates the impoverished lifestyle of gay porn star Kento Ikeda
a game that simulates the lavish lifestyle of podcaster Chris Lydon
a game that simulates the lavish lifestyle of film director Roman Polanski
wondering who would win in a fight, Hugh Hefner or Stan Lee
you always wondered what it would be like fall asleep while eating a bowl of creamed corn laced with painkillers as a bevy of dimwitted cocktail waitresses work out their daddy issues by dispassionately fellating your pharmaceutically erect penis
A Band Ride Three Men
a game that simulates the lavish lifestyle of magazine mogul Hugh Hefner
Zefram Cochrane
Three Men and a Bride
Hermes Cochran
tamehyphendeed dot com
deadhyphenmeet dot com
digging a gravedater
dating a gravedigger
I missed a lot of what she said because she was jogging in place the whole time and therefore her titties was bouncing, but I'm pretty sure that she offered to fuck Danny
He does impressions
This is my unemployed friend who sleeps in the same hallways as all of my young daughters
tearing up tearing yourself masturbating
tearing yourself masturbating
seeing a tshirt emblazoned with the words WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT and thinking 'tearfully masturbating'
Sometimes this show feels like a Franz Kafka story that's based off of a Norman Rockwell painting, except without any of the thought or craft
Ford, America's anal wig
Florida, America's wang
Florida Landscaper Deliberately Drove Riding Mower Over Large Group Of Ducklings
Teddy insists that Michelle play the role of the mommy and Michelle says she doesn't know how to because her mom's a rotting corpse
Tuscaloosecannons
I was wondering what was in your britches
Stephanie's teacher gives her permission to escort Michelle back to class, which is very likely a ploy to get these two loud mouthed broads out of his classroom for a few minutes so he can finally do his fucking job
American No Place Like Home, No Homo
American No Place Like Home
Korean Full House
Armenian Full House
just reach around
they couldn't be reached
they couldn
you forgot the Olsen twins
drawing a picture of John Stamos, Denver Pyle, Dave Coulier, Matt LeBlanc, Bob Saget, Danny Thomas, Candace Cameron, and Michael Fishman in an elaborate sexual act involving braiding, multiple chariots, and a number of towers of various sizes and shapes
currant affairs
raisin awareness
when life gives you potatoes, you make potato salad and I've got just the recipe
As awkward as it is to watch a bunch of little girls gyrating around for several minutes in those totally inappropriate outfits, it's not nearly as uncomfortable as watching the cast clap their hands and bob their heads to a Boyz II Men song
So then DJ comes over and gives Stephanie counseling about boys while a whole bunch of other kids' families sit in the bleachers wishing that they didn't live in the same school district as the fucking Tanner family
teens is OK because often by twenty, seven women look shrivelled
teens is OK because often by twenty seven women look shrivelled
Roman Politburo
Romanov Polanski
no wait, shit
Russian Polanski
Russia's top childrens' rights official says older men marrying teens is OK because often by twenty seven women look shrivelled
As Joey tries to process this series of misfortunes, Danny tells him that he's been fired by Ranger Roy
He totally ignores his wife's moist vagina by staring off into the distance and singing a slow, sad rendition of the teddy bear song he used to sing to Michelle
people saying you're the life of the party, 'cause you tell a joke or two
Rebecca Donaldson's like, "sucka, this pussy is the greatest adventure you are ever gonna have" and then they make up
when ur eating pussy and your mouth is full
Joey's butthole was just too inviting
when ur eating cookies and your mouth is full
shooting CC Peniston in the Jap's eye with BB King when you were a kid
Full House, at its essence, is pretty much a cruel stereotyped rendition of white people, so it only makes sense that the corniest, white breadiest family of all time would eventually engage in the crackerest activity known to cracker ass crackers
CC Peniston mourns
the death of BB King
that's still pretty impressive
Ten Inch Jar Jar Binks
Stephanie comes home with her new glasses and is all bummed out because she looks like a dogs asshole
DJ coerces him to stick around by offering him some hamburgers, and the episode ends with her giving him a handjob under the picnic table
Tiny Tiger Mandingo
Tiger Mandingo
it was OK, could have been two inches shorter at the end without losing anything
it was OK, could have been ten minutes shorter at the end without losing anything
Darth Duck
Darth Dick
Big Giant Dick, Jedi Knight
Tiny Heroin Shriveled Dick Geldof
Big Giant Dick Geldof
Big Giant Dick Head Geldof
the Dick Head wants to know why we fall
He eventually confessed to being Dick's father, at which point, Harry stated that if Dick was going to take over The Big Giant Head, his name would be Dick Head
the Big Giant Head wants to know why we fall
Michael Caine as the Big Giant Head
that you liked Interstellar and you hate Christopher Nolan, so there's that
if Christopher Nolan's next movie isn't an adaptation of Third Rock from the Sun he's just fucking kidding himself because that's totally what he wants to do
still feeling very let down by Inception even years later
I was flying experimental aircraft way before anybody pointed out that drones already do all of that with no human pilot onboard
starting to watch Interstellar and really wanting to just slap Christopher Nolan for that opening silence and irritating tone coming out of it over the opening credits
He ended the show by stuffing HHH in the trunk of his rental car, and leaving with the final words of "now I'm going to screw you"
HHH laugh at will by his actions
Katie Vick
tiki horsemen
wiki horsemen
wii horsemen
Homer's ween
wee horsemen
sheer women
we horsemen
feeling bemusement at seeing advertisements for horsemen escaping through the casement from Roman Polanski's Amusement Basement
whore semen
horsemen escaping through the casement from Roman Polanski's Amusement Basement
horsemen
escaping through the casement from Roman Polanski's Amusement Basement
there's no debasement without semen
being invited to Roman Polanski's Amusement Basement
there's no amusement without semen
you can't spell basement without semen
getting autism from that vaccine
they're saying it's the last harvest for okra, ever
Kimmie Gibbler welcomes Jesse's confession of love, and doesn't consider for a second that it is a crime
watching the Tanks for Nothing spinoff, For All Intents and Porpoises
Asian Lever
Gay Lever
pulling Fat Lever's groin
pulling Fat Lever
Fat Lever
Australian authorities threaten to put Johnny Depp's dingos down, crikey
Shaq Fu Colon A Legend Reborn
filling the john with shit faster than John Moschitta
John Moschitta
Australian authorities threaten to put Johnny Depp's dogs down
how serene your friends and fiends
taking the long way home
he blows the wrong whistle and they are attacked by skeletons on horseback
Turkish Star Wars delight, on a moonlit night
Turkish delight, on a moonlit night
I guess it is a quarter to three
licking tahini off of Mr Snuffleupagus' erect trunk
liking tahini off of Mr Snuffleupagus' erect trunk
blowing Ms Shits, eek
blowing them kisses
waving to the people
it's that boy who laughs at everyone
J'ai tout surmonta la tete baissee
maybe you should have informed the authorities
that you aways suspected Oscar the Grouch was Jewish
wondering if Big Bird ever mistakes his bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis for an actual worm and tries to eat it
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Mr Hooper's death as a result of telling Snuffy his hoes had to stop hanging around outside Hooper's store
Katy Perry's appearance on Sesame Street being the basis for her inclusion in so much pornographic Sesame Street fanart
Snuffy was finally introduced to the main human cast mainly due to a string of high profile and sometimes graphic stories of pedophilia and sexual abuse of children
that Aloysius Snuffleupagus is a total pimp name
sesame streetwalkers
or roofie them
taking solace in the fact that even Cookie "Pussy Monster" Monster couldn't talk his costars into group sex
there was that night at Bert and Ernie's where you got trashed on jaeger bombs and woke up in Oscar's trash can with "call me" written in lipstick on your ass
that you'll never have a four way with Prairie Dawn, Rosie, and Granny Bird from Sesame Street, and sure, you could probably look up someone else's weird take on a frankly weird desire, but it's not the same
'I Will Double Slit Your Photons' Gambian Science Minister to Electromagnetic Spectrum
you'll never even get to watch while they have a threesome
that you'll never have a four way with Linda, Gina, and Maria from Sesame Street, and sure, you could probably look up someone else's weird take on a frankly weird desire, but it's not the same
sesame street pussies
sesame street cookies
pigeon street coronation
coronation street chicken
'I Will Slit Your Throat Colon' Gambian President to Gay Men
coronation chicken
Even on Full House, pussy is magic, and therefore it is true of all places
Stephanie is hesitant to heed his words because he's a stranger that won't get out of her room
Moody's drops Chicago's junk rating to 'it's cold in here'
Moody's drops Chicago's junk rating to 'I have a headache'
a lifetime of Kento's shit
The title of this episode comes from the special name the dads have for when they rub their anuses together
Female Semen Vibe Array
Beaver Female Seminary
a lifetime on Kento's ship
I' going to get laid this weekend, if not sooner, the Emperor, Haile Selassie, Jah Rastafari
a lifetime on Kento's hips
a moment on Kento's lips, a lifetime on Kento's hips
Kento's hips
Moody's drops Chicago's credit rating to 'junk'
I' going to get laid this weekend, if not sooner
being secure in your sexuality inasmuch as you think you'll probably never get laid again so it's all just bullshitting to you
how quickly quickies turn really, really gay here
quickly
how quicky things turn really, really gay here
licking ganache off of Kevin Nash's erect penis
eating ganache off Kevin Nash
eating ganache with Kevin Nash
Kentomon Digivolves
wondering what Digimon has to do with furries
just honestly not getting furries or digimon or any of that
Kentomon charges at the opponent at full speed with his jaws,concentrating electricity on them
As they're "making up," Rusty barges in and shouts, "tongue town USA!" which is the most vulgar statement I think I've ever heard uttered on a sitcom
Anyway, DJ discovers Penis stashed in Michelle's room and makes her give him back
Danny refuses to believe that someone so terrible could come out of such a top notch vagina but then he discovers that Rusty switched his shampoo with green hair dye
you'd think that even having to have a discussion about why you don't want to have your wedding at Graceland would be enough to make you realize that the guy you're going to get married to is a big piece of shit
Michelle comes in the room and tells Stephanie that she sucks dick at playing the recorder
shaving some nice greasy meat and being willing to shove it
having some nice greasy meat and being willing to shove it you and me babe, how 'bout it
having some nice greasy meat and being willing to shove it
you and me babe, how 'bout it
growing impatient for a love to call your own
your baby's high in the stratosphere, you're so low 'cause we all float down here
your baby's high in the stratosphere, you're so low 'cause you're down here
having some nice greasy meat and being willing to shave it
having some nice greasy meat and being willing to share it
dildoos
kangaroos
didgeridoos
it's not my time to wonder why
You can get salmonella from turtles, butt drinking OJ doesn't make it better
peeing daily
peeing freely
Pokemon Gin and Tonic
having an intense craving for some nice greasy meat
six three nine nine four making you laugh out loud
Obama Castro handshake and same sex marriage date set
Asia stains son
assassination
Bug Bed
Bat Bugs
Bat Bed
jerked salmon
salmon jerky
dried smoked salmon
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" that smoking cannabis dries out your vagina
that's not where you're supposed to put it
Smoking cannabis 'dries out your vagina'
to pre empt your next question, yes, our civic lighting runs on boot polish
A lord was caught three times over the drink drive limit with his face smeared in boot polish after crashing into a lamppost
Ed Balls taking it on the chin
waxing lyrical about Ed Balls
giving Ed Balls a Brazilian
shaving Ed Balls
her dominant's partner's penis with corn husk, and subsequently
exhaling onto it as if steaming a corn husked tamale
Armenian Idol being voted off Armenian Idol
Swan Conjugals
American Idol being voted off American Idol
Swan Madrigals
simulatng the taste of cress salad by just putting mayonnaise and mustard on the bread
simulatng the taste of egg salad by just putting mayonnaise and mustard on the bread
Swan Madras
swans are like feet, the more you talk about them in public the more people think you want to have sex with them
moms are like feet, the more you talk about them in public the more people think you want to have sex with them
fighting fire fighting type pokemon with fire fighting type pokemon
fighting fire with fire
Swan Madol
Nan Madol
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to drink the corn syrup
drinking the corn syrup in Sexico
The spicy and delicious dong of a sexican
A sexual favor that involves a recessive partner wrapping his or her dominant's partner's penis with corn husk, and subsequently exhaling onto it as if steaming a corn husked tamale
the film will star real tamale actors, and may even have tamale members of the crew, including possibly a tamale director
the film will star real Joe Camel actors, and may even have Joe Camel members of the crew, including possibly a Joe Camel director
the film will star real shemale actors, and may even have shemale members of the crew, including possibly a shemale director
the film will star real female actors, and may even have female members of the crew, including possibly a female director
Penises! From Dunland!
breeding ericaceous bananas with Eric Bana
wetrest
endland penises swing like a pendulum do
high fructose corn semen
bottoming for Pure Beef Patty in Life O'Railin' VII
Pure Beef Patty
death don't have no mercy in this sand
mostly amino acids, citrate, enzymes, flavins, fructose, phosphorylcholine, prostaglandins, proteins, and vitamin C
wondering what's in the Teen sauce
white ravens
Pure beef patty, A&W seasoning, sesame seed bun, lettuce, tomato, bacon, processed cheddar cheese, Teen sauce, ketchup, mustard, pickles, sliced onion
A&W Canada, eh
chicken category
shitting Splenda on trains
moving towards higher quality menu items and expanding their chicken category
A&O
A&W
R&AW
wetwork if you can get it, and if you get it, wetwork
wetplay
garycoleslaw
coleslaw
splitting Shania in twain
being killed by a tree
wetwork
walking on endland penises, see what they can do
death don't have no mercy in this land
glaciers melting in the dead of night
someday
pushing the pineapple
shaking the tree
rocking the boat
drying a river and crowning the whole world
crying a river and drowning the whole world, a bloo bloo bloo
walking on pins and needles, see what they can do
weaving a truss of sand and spinning a sand rope to bind it with
crying a river and drowning the whole world
snort mates have abandoned ship, eh
the smart ones have abandoned ship
Infants' brain responses to speech suggest analysis by synthesis
beating off inside your eyes like open doors
beating off inside yourself
beating off beside yourself
being beneath yourself
eating beside yourself
being beside yourself
I slept next to a naked dick last night because I got Eiffel Towered
I slept next to a naked duck last night because I got laid
I slept next to a naked chick last night because I got laid
getting into bed naked, thinking "I don't sleep naked!", getting out and finding some pajamas to wear as though anybody would ever know or care or it even really matters to you
Babby Road
what the fuck is Fred Savage doing here
that's deep semen
that's deep, man
when everything's semen, nothing is
eating that whole thing of semen and shitting the sheets
shitting the sheets with your semen
with your semen
bursting the mess and shitting the sheets
missing the bust and hitting the sheets
missing the bust
meeting your bus for dinner tonight for the first time in a month with some first rate cunt lapping for dessert
texting the bus every minute you're apart
messing the bus
missing the bus
drawing a picture of Christopher Cross, Kris Kross, and Kris Kristofferson crossing their penises together
being sucked up
being blowed up
dropping Balls
being exceedingly unlikely to have either
not having either
having your job on your baby
When Niall Brady casts his vote today in the British general election, he has his job on his mind, and his baby
finding out without exaggeration that you're not going to get the opportunity to earn enough to even go on dates for at least another five years because you now exist solely to service the debts of others
meating your girlfriend for dinner tonight for the first time in a month with some first rate cunt lapping for dessert
meeting your girlfriend for dinner tonight for the first time in a month with some first rate cunt lapping for dessert
Pokemon Jewel
Pokemon Hall and Oates
Pokemon Morley and Outwood
balling Ed Meats
meeting Ed Balls to eat meatballs at the Met Ball
wanting to sign up for the UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television class on German art house cinema, "Kuntz on Kunst"
UCLA visiting professor of film and television Jonathan Kuntz
we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life
slamming your dick in the communal laundry room
building a mink raft in Minecraft
Wolfman Colon Florida license mistakenly labeled me a sex offender
Woman Colon Florida license mistakenly labeled me a sex offender
bottoming for Tim Duncan and a tapir in Rape White Onions II
drawing a picture of an onion being Eiffel Towered by Tim Duncan and a tapir
Playing Onions & Tapirs with Tim Duncan
Pokemon Candace Cameron and Michael Fishman
Pokemon Hymns Jeer TV and Le Sand Poo
Pokemon Tapir and Onions
Pokemon John Stamos and Denver Pyle
Pokemon Macaroni and Cheese
Pokemon Titties and Butts
suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless
cyw iar wedi'i ffrio
you wish
doing your illegal exercises and getting cock
doing your illegal exercises and getting caught
not doing your illegal exercises
Court records list Mudd's employer as a pediatrics care practice
seriously, just fuck the whole state of Florida until it dies
Florida Couple Accused of Giving Kids Drugs as 'Bargaining Tool'
sperme a la blanche neige
sperme a la neige
oeufs a la neige
putting margerine on macaroni and cheese
putting meringue on macaroni and cheese
putting merengue on macaroni and cheese
World Tapir Day
not doing your legal exercises
Titties vs butts is a struggle that has torn apart better men than Uncle Jesse
It really made me wanna do a bunch of cocaine and then contract an STD, all while gambling
putting salsa on macaroni and cheese
Janitor gets six years prison for sexually assaulting special ed student Vladimir Spiridonovitch Poutine
Janitor gets six years prison for sexually assaulting special ed student
Vladimir Spiridonovitch Poutine
Vladimir Poutine
not doing your kegger exercises
not doing your kegel exercises
Rape Two White Onions
janitor penetration
Operation Snow White
The Great Gatsby Is One Of The Greatest Movies Of All Time, Coachella
future head of the Church of Scientology, Jaden Smith
Ill Never Forget The Blogs That Believed In Me Since The Begging
Reading My Book I Uttered "I Turned Fifteen Long Ago"
There Is No Nutrients In Our Food Anymore Or In Our Soil OR IN OUR WATER
The amusement park of the future where nothing can possiblie go wrong
this site is kind of weirdly specific
Os
Mos
Imos
Timos
Ntimos
Antimos
Pantimos
this site is kind of weird
masturbating Mel Gibson for Nazi gold
I made a lot of money doing it, but Mel Gibson's language gets even more violent the closer he gets to orgasm
masturbating on webcam for Nazi gold
Nazi gold
masturbating on webcam for streisand
masturbating on webcam for kristofferson
masturbating on webcam for sampras
masturbating on webcam for cash
Uncle Traveling Myke
spooning Boober
Patrick Warburton's swinging penis trappists
drawing a picture of Mokey and Red scissoring while Doozers try to ignore them
being fraggle SCISSORED
being fraggle rocked
being fraggled
being fragged
Patrick Warburton's penis swings like a pendulum do
Patrick Warburton's swinging penis
no longer being able to say that you have never seen a gif of Patrick Warburton's swinging penis
trappists
Assault With a Deadly Duck
it's not even Monday
more piss, more piss
promises, promises
that you will be performing cunnilingus within forty eight hours
the Masonic Distaff Police Department
the Masonic Identical Police Department
the Masonic Fraternal Police Department
in the Eiffel tower in Boston, Massachusetts
lateral glide
illegal trade
on the Eiffel tower in Paris, France
a water bottle with a yellow crested cockatoo put inside you for illegal trade
being a total Milhouse, except without anything coming up you
my arteries are clogged with yellow gold
Technician David Kalic cleans one of the sodium golden light bulbs on the Eiffel tower in Paris, France
a water bottle with a yellow crested cockatoo put inside for illegal trade
vapists
blood in his body
vaping
Assault With a Deadly Dick
Bono and Utwo set as sole guests on Friday's 'Tonight Show'
Myke Teavee
confusing Fairuza Balk and Veruca Salt
one unusual fact about Myke Hawke, he has a vast amount of blood in his body
one unusual fact about Michael Ball, he has a vast amount of blood in his body
having my twelve year old boner ejaculating down Michael Jackson's throat
calling a fly with one wing a fling
feeling a kind of distracting ennui about everything lately, like when you're enjoying something you're watching but you flip over to see what else is on
We haven't started working on a script yet, but we are talking about it
lookin' for someone who's not make believe
hey guys, remember internet shrines
having my twelve year old boner ejaculating down your throat
having the twenty first century ejaculating in your hair contrary to its promises
having the twenty first century ejaculating down your throat
having the twenty first century ejaculating down your dick
having the twenty first century breathing down your dick
having the twenty first century breathing down your neck
having a boner for twelve years
even my twelve year old boner
drawing a picture of Wilson masturbating behind Tim Allen's fence as he watches Pamela Anderson audition for Home Improvement
wonderin if Pamela Anderson had to fuck Tim Allen to get the part on Home Improvement
I can't argue with that
the creepy porn star lips coupled with her bimbo voice just killed even my twelve year old boner
Pamela Anderson was gross
being really into Erika Eleniak for some reason
having never actually seen Baywatch, but remembering you had a TV Guide with her picture in it that was your best friend for a couple of months
only knowing the name Yasmine Bleeth because of that F#R#I#E#N#D#S# episode where Chandler says "Yasmeeen Blith" a couple times
David Snave
believing that the first thing you masturbated to on the internet was Yasmine Bleeth
not even remembering the name
watching kind of a lot of Baywatch as a horny teen, or so you thought, but not remembering Nicole Eggert at all
putting Eddie in charge of your evenings and weekends
if I stumble on a regret that has like seven or eight votes on it and a perfect zero or one rating, I will sometimes vote until it makes the list, but I don't supervote
Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate
to be honest I thought you were doing it
something seems to randomly supervote regrets up or down periodically
walking around rent free
putting Charles in charge of your days and your nights
regardless, it definitely deserves to be there
wondering if "humping Jewel's bust" is a new bottom regret or if you just don't pay enough attention to it
humping Jewel's bust until she had a breastgasm
And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey
that mango
that meringue
that mange
that manege
that menage
tht menage
Trying to have sex while flaccid
A game in which children stand in a row, joining hands, and in which the outer one, still holding his neighbour, runs between the others
Last night, I caught Garey threading the needle of some homeless guy in the park
Last night, I caught Gary threading the needle of some homeless guy in the park
When you sleep in your boxers and in the middle of the night your woodie works its way through the little hole in your chonies
Ejaculating into the end of someone else's penis
Thread Flintstone
threading the needle
hilariously finding printers the most frustratingly pisspoor user experience in all of computing
seriously finding printers the most frustratingly pisspoor user experience in all of computing
having a scanner that won't scan to a USB stick because it doesn't have a USB port, has no option to discover computers to send files to wirelessly despite being wireless, and is basically just a glorified photocopier
Hot Kids for Pedophobes
Hot Dogs for Homophobes
If Singapore says relax, relax, don't do it, when you want to go to it
if Singapore is telling you to relax, you should probably relax
A study by the National University of Singapore entitled Impact of Cyberloafing on Psychological Engagement concluded that using the internet for personal use served the same purpose as a coffee break and helped workers concentrate and stay engaged
goldbricking
"crab head gift"
"crib hid gift"
"frigid bitch"
Dot Warner Panties Voice Feet Geldof
Pricess Sofia Cesarean Birth Geldof
if people concerned themselves with where sperm came from they never would have eaten them
if people concerned themselves with where eggs came from they never would have eaten them
"The cleaning lady here at the embassy has a huge ass," he said, "frigid bitch"
"Disclosure is my business," he said, "but we don't deal in gossip"
being a bad driver
that when you put Dot Warner in the search field, Google autosuggests, in order, 'panties', 'voice', and 'feet'
Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third
spreading Dijon mustard on the ceiling with Celine Dion
Pricess Sofia Cesarean Birth
sucking her left one until she had a hump
bottoming for Father Time in Meaty Bodies VII
thinking Jennifer Lopez got fat, then remembering that humans age because of their meaty bodies and the effects of linear time, then realizing you were looking at a picture of Kim Kardashian
Robert Downey, Jr's growing resemblance to Woody Allen
donating your hedgerow bustle to the Met Costume Institute
if there's a bustle in your hedgerow, seek medical attention immediately
there are two paths you can go by
During their years of running the school theatre and producing plays, a body of knowledge was formed about acting, theater production, and costume, set and stage design
hey dol! merry dol! suck my dick dillo!
Tom Walrus
kind of looking forward to fat gay Asian Tom Cruise
kind of looking forward to old fat Tom Cruise
pretty much like watching any Jack Nicolson movie made after the mid nineteen eighties
imagining what it will be like to watch movies in which eighteen year old actresses are cast as a then seventy year old Tom Cruise's love interests per his demands
wondering why they remade Groundhog Day as a gritty dystopian sci fi war film instead of a comedy, but then finding that Edge of Tomorrow is indeed a comedy
Chicago Cubs randomly congratulate the royal family on new baby, da teddybears
Chicago Cubs randomly congratulate the royal family on new baby
New Vaginatown
Pizdagrad
Pueblo Cajeta
Pussiopolis
Manko cho
Cookietown
Chattesville
Fotzeburg
Maidenhead Revisited
Vaginatown
Maidenhead
round or skinny bottomed girls barely contributing at all to this planet's rotation
Nicholas Pocock
round or skinny bottoms
give us Black Dick and we fear nothing
Fleet Admiral Richard "Black Dick" Howe
Red Handed Dick
wondering what we do if Kento's dad like googles himself or has us drawn to his attention one day and starts coming around here being fatherly and such
humping Go Ikeda's bust
when copying files takes so long you can actually go make a hot drink and come back and start drinking it before the job is done
Procopio
odobenoarachnopyronecrocoprophilia
Collie Flower
arachnopyronecrocoprophilia
Broc Collie
Lucy Beaumont
pyronecrocoprophilia
necrocoprophilia
once you go Go Ikeda's fist, you, dammit, I totally had something for this
you've introduced me to a whole new world of butt games
making Sylvia Browne a hot browne sandwich for her deathday
browning Sylvia Browne's breasts
going Go Ikeda's fist
guavas
peppering Brian Peppers' brain
canning Raymond Burr's cans
buttering Raymond Burr's buns
butterbur
pestilence
the picture of L Ron Hubbard on Wikipedia's Church of Scientology page looking like he's pushing a mess
having sex with a girl in second grade who looked a lot like Christina Ricci
The first guy is a big scary raper and the second guy is Anthony Kiedis, who immediately tells you, "what I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you"
Charlotte Elizabeth Diana Geldof
he was such a jackass he didn't know how to open his own safe
they get it at this great place in San Francisco called, "Chicken"
DJ says that that she tries to focus less on the fact that their mother is a festering pile of maggot infested flesh and more on the fact that they have three idiotic dads who love them
At this point in his monologue, Martin begins a commentary on what he considers the decline in standards of feminine hygiene in this country
Tinkerer Tailorer Soldierer Spider
I got a bad desire
hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone
being raped by someone who's on fire
Spider Man II Colon Spiharder
Spider Kids
The Spider Who Came In From the Cold
The Spider Who Loved Me
Totally Spiders
Joey and Danny are put in a prison cell where they try to think of a way to maintain their masculinity while being anally raped with a dress on
Jean Luc Coulier
Luc Coulier
don't ironically mock people's behavior when they're doing something they shouldn't be because someone else might see you and think that you're doing what you're mocking those people for doing
drawing a picture of Dave Coulier knocking up Jayne Modean on the set of Full House
The first guy is a big scary raper and the second guy is Danny Tanner, who immediately tells you, "there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop hugging and kissing you"
grown up Kimmie Gibbler comes in and there's a gag about how bad all the Dads wanna fuck her because she grew up to be hella fine
For some reason Danny becomes a stereotypical East Coast Jew in his old age
attempting to smash a watermelon with your erect seven pound silicone lump hammer
attempting to smash a watermelon with your erect penis
Withpenis and I
shopping around with penis
The current repair operation cannot be cancelled
he could start shitting his pants all the time and walking around with shitty pants
the story of how scared she was during her first kiss, which is so corny and boring that it causes the music to come on
DJ says goodbye to all her guests as her party wraps up and manages to clear the air with Kimmie Gibbler before she leaves to go get finger banged in a public park by Jake Bitterman
Finally, there's a boy band for older, hairy gay men
that is, hairy gay men
Bearforce One
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, except in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake where you never know what you're gonna get
fisting Go Ikeda so far that you turn into a ventriloquist act
TRIPLE fisting Go Ikeda
double fisting Go Ikeda
hamboning
shopping around for penis
shopping for penis
chopping a penis
boys have a penis, get to the chopper
thanks for the tip
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina
A spokesperson for the Daily Mail said the UK's newest princess was 'beach body ready' as she 'flaunted her curves' in a blanket
A spokesperson for the British royals, reflecting on the utter meaninglessness of the inane information he was tasked to deliver to the press, ended his life today with a single bullet to the temple
A spokesperson for the British royals said the UK's newest princess would meet her aunt Pippa Middleton and her grandmother Carol Middleton on Sunday
Pmaws eht Niard
draining the swamp
Yvan eht Nioj
seeing someone who bruised his willies one time, it was very sad
bruising willies with Bruce Willis
Jason Voorhees on Mental Health Rumors
reticulating splines with Chris Pine
crippling spines with Chris Pine
Lark Voorhies on Mental Health Rumors
She says that even though he's borderline retarded, can't nobody bang her walls like him and then the music comes on and then they make out
This bizarre subplot about Danny abusing this poor, wafer thin androgynous woman only further supports the self loathing queer theme of the episode
causing bloat in the girlfriends of smugglers and being filled with fried gluten
herding nerfs
The Most Disturbing Images To Come Out of the Full House
checkmate, medical science
drinking water and peeing constantly to avoid gout
you're going to get gout
going to the store and coming back with all the pork butts, asparagus and crappie they had
eating the bootylike groceries
daring to keep all your dreams alive
being the booty like groceries
eating the booty like groceries
it makes its way in the world today or else it gets the beer again
bottoming for Dickson Poon in Dickson Poon's Dick's in Poon VII
dicks in poon
Myke Hawke is a graduate of the Dickson Poon School of Law
scorpion kid son
disco ink pornos
the Dickson Poon School of Law, cheerio
onions dick pros
he tells the girls about Stacey's mom's hot pussy and how he totally tore that shit up
Dickson Concepts
the Dickson Poon School of Law
Sir Dickson Poon
standing by your earlier position that the story is done for you
just kind of going "oh, that"
googling what that be
not knowing what that be
just now learning about the Star Wars Colon Anthology Trilogy
quickly chasing up cured pork products for Jason Statham
getting a call from a number you don't know at two thirty in the morning and just kind of assuming it's Gary
how gigantic her ass has gotten as she's aged
Then DJ and her friends tell the younger kids that they wanna talk about guys' dick sizes so they'd better split but then Stephanie's like, whatever, y'all, I got two men all up on my jammy
I guess the universe that Full House takes place in is one devoid of vaginal mucous
Lmao, okay you fucking stupid bitch full house is a show that is wholesome and appropriate for families that can sit together and enjoy themselves
What's weirdest about it is if you think about how hard it is to get a baby to act out a scene successfully and realize that those guys were probably sitting on that set kissing that baby all fucking day, under hot lights, on a regular basis
So DJ tries to slip out of the house but Danny sees her and is all, how you bout to leave my house dressed like a cheap ass hoe
get lost all of u becky and jesse are the best couple on tv i love them togther full house is amazing u sad people just dissing it coz u have nothing better to do get a life bitches
He looks like a naive art sculpture of Joe Piscopo made from old tires
The Dads all gather around to stare at Michelle and Howie, all tuckered out, postcoitus
he tells the girls about Gia's mom's hot pussy and how he totally tore that shit up
Once you've had Jesse inside of your butthole, a little piece of him stays there forever
Just so long as they don't interrupt all the nasty ass fucking that will be taking place downstairs
Pokemon Lewd and Lascivious
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "lewd and lascivious" to kiss you
fucking Florida, seriously
Florida police last week investigated whether a kill exchanged by seven year old elementary students amounted to "lewd and lascivious" behavior
Florida police last week investigated whether a kiss exchanged by seven year old elementary students amounted to "lewd and lascivious" behavior
she peed in through the bathroom window
The Beatle's Butt changes lyrics of Beatles songs to celebrate butts
whisper words of wisdom, let it pee
Finally, he calls Joey to kiss his weiner for him while he pees Paul McCartney
Finally, he calls Joey to thrill his weiner for him while he pees
Finally, he calls Joey to hold his weiner for him while he pees Paul McCartney
The baby's shit brings everyone together
Finally, he calls Joey to hold his weiner for him while he pees
Paul McCartney
This beatle's butt is basically a machine gun
This beetle's butt is basically a machine gun
Jennifer AIDS in Rape
Jennifer in Paradise
making a Hot Brown sandwich with Rebecca de Mornay
Rebecca De Mornay sauce
Mornay sauce
A knock at the door reveals some cheap hoe who's come over to bang Uncle Jesse
Saved by the Bell Quote of the Day
Full House Reviewed
the perfect beer for removing 'no' from your vocabulary for the night
holding two mothballs with Timothy Spall
peeholing Sylvia Batteries
Boneparcels of Khorne
Bloodletters of Khawke
Homeopaths of Khorne
holes for the hole god, corn for the corn throne
Bloodletters of Khorne cornholing Sylvia Browne
Bloodletters of Khorne
cornholing Sylvia Browne
cellist pee stick
testicle pickles
you might be Master Splinter
if you tried to have sex with a tree, you'd be Thor too
One man ran naked through a Florida neighborhood, tried to have sex with a tree and told police he was the real god Thor
that 'Hey Guys, Remember Erections and Being Physically Attractive to Young Women" just isn't a great clickbait title
drawing a picture of Judge Reinhold masturbating while spying on Phoebe Cates shopping for support hose
the title of loudest lovemakers in New York, I'm humpin' here
the title of loudest lovemakers in New York
having impure thoughts about a forty or fifty something Winona Rider
The Horniest Teens of the Eighties are All Forty or Fifty Something Now
The Horniest Teens of the Eighties
One man ran naked through a Florida neighborhood, tried to have sex with a tree and told police he was the mythical god Thor
Bernie Clifton Says He is Running for President, Announces Resignation from Job as Zoo Keeper
#minitiaramanorgy
#swanemperormotelpun
#amplerteenrumpswoon
#realmensupportwomen
FLCL
stalagmites
Bernie Sanders Says He is Running for President, Announces Resignation from Job as Crypt Keeper
brushie brushie
brushed metal
Janeway states that their cunt story has disrupted the time loop, bah
Janeway states that their tachyon burst has disrupted the time loop
eventually you'll come into my matrix, and you'll nourish me for a long, long time
it's taco pus, ouch
it's cactus photo
it's such a cop out
letting the bottom drop out
Pokemon Parts and Labor
Pokemon Bart and Milhouse
poor Mailhouse
Pokemon Bret and Keanu
everything's coming up Mailhouse
committing mail fraud with Rob Mailhouse
Drummer Rob Mailhouse's basement studio still hosts secret jams with Bret and Keanu
Turkish Dogstar Wars
studs playing Studs & Beatdowns with Tim Duncan
Dogstar
the giant sucking sound
spooning Bruce Jenner's boobs
June Sarpong's Monkey Donkey Question Time
Kunis's vaginal drippings to make Black Swan Sauce
golden cayenne peppers what you actually put in it
Dorothy Perkins!
Top Man!
Randy Boehning
the wettest bad dog you can ever think of
the best wet dog you can ever think of
the worst wet dog you can ever think of
a woman's reaction to being denied a cigarette by a man at a gas station in Jerusalem
disinterring George Eliot's corspe and fucking the eyholes of her skull in order to violate her like she violated young trannies
George Eliot
wondering if there is a pornstar called Transsexual Eliot
stds
studs
as cool as it was to see a real life old man beating off two young studs
playing Studs & Beatdowns with Tim Duncan
Alibaba's Ma says freezing hiring after growing 'too quickly'
as cool as it was to see a real life old man beating up two young studs
something something Family Guy something cock ordeal something Black Swan Sauce
wondering where you managed to get a hold of enough of Mila Kunis's vaginal drippings to make Black Swan Sauce
not actually writing Black Swan Sauce on the label instead of 'Hot sauce'
finding the last of the Black Swan Sauce you made a few years back, discovering that despite going from golden yellow to deep brown while sealed it is delicious, and having no clue other than golden cayenne peppers what you actually put in it
Transformers Generation
I enjoy your company
thinking all of this shit for over fifteen years
rationally knowing all of the realistic stuff about your depression, and still feeling all the shitty unrealistic stuff
scarier than thinking that no one has ever loved you is thinking that you're responsible for your own lonliness
Maru is licked by Hana for a long time
Japanese four lined ratsnakes
Twats Cornholing Teabagging Fisting Geldof
Space Cowboy Peaches Geldof
Maurice Geldof
Puppetutes Pompatus, Jedi Knight
Bruce Jenner Shown Golfing With Twats On Docuseries
Bruce Jenner Shown Golfing With Turtles On Docuseries
Bruce Jenner Shown Golfing With Breasts On Docuseries
blueberries are ten percent fructose
wondering why you don't see blueberries in sour or savory dishes much
I'm not sure I understand the mechanics of that one
shutting down the garbage smasher on her detention level
Raw Rude Fifer I
firewire fraud
discussing the puppetutes of love
speaking of the pompatus of love
haecceity
the mereological fallacy
if I could still bend that way I'd be able to make a lot of money on the internet, signed Michael Egan
high intensity discharge
if I could still bend that way I'd be able to make a lot of money on the internet
technically that's not even gay
listen, when that decade began I was pretty flexible and I was a growing boy
for ten whole years
I was young, I experimented with some things, it's in the past now
The Gay Nineties
The Fursuit of a Penis
The Fursuit of Happyness
the skeletal revolution will not be televised
being the epitome of a primo tricheco
wanting to make Kento an insertion aria for his birthday
being the epitome of a primo uomo
being the lube tome of a prima donna
being the epitome of a prima donna
Seven Pounds of Silicone
Seven Inches
Bitch
Six Inches of Dilation
I, Hand Job Robot
Nad Boys
I Am Lengthened
The Legend of Teabagger Vance
Handcock
Men in Back
The Pursuit of a Penis
The Pursuit of Happyness
enter slowpoke
my DJ revolves it
skeleton power
you've been over sometimes to my house
he'll solve it
the icy blue glint in her eyes when she fills her choux with cream Kento's gravitas
the icy blue glint in her eyes when she fills her choux with cream
Kento's gravitas
the almost magnetic attraction Kento's anus has to the cocks of walruses and walrus like beings
wondering how Wilford Brimley avoids Eiffel Towering Kento with Chris Lydon
wondering how Wilford Brimley avoids getting diabeetus
wondering how Santa Claus avoids getting diabetes
third party cookies
drawing a picture of the XXX Geldof joke and the XXX, Jedi Knight joke braiding their penises together to the point where they are indistinguishable
those two jokes have basically melded together, we need to do something to differentiate them
H E Joko Widodo Geldof
H E Joko Widodo, Jedi Knight
H E Joko Widodo
maybe more
there are in fact three of us here
don't mind if I do
just wanting to confirm that there are in fact three of us here and you're not giving advice to yourself
go crazy
having actual thoughts like "no tv and no beer make Homer something something"
the vagabond who's rapping at your door, if there's a problem, yo, he'll solve it
the death of Eduardo Galeano
it is within your gift
you can do this
only discussion, as opposed to argument or pleading, can change their minds
many people, even those close to you, may not realise that you have a problem, or may not feel qualified to involve themselves, or conversely feel that they have all the answers to your problems without any real understanding of what they are
though it is cliched to say it, physical activity can be a very good aid to improving mood and underlying state of mind
attempting to compare your life or career holistically to others is irrational and counter productive, though it feels intuitive and we all do it
this can only come about through a positive and deliberate reasoning process, comparing your achievements fairly to those of others
you must reach a point where you become unwilling to dismiss or belittle your own achievements
achievement in any field can improve your state of mind and self image
you may also want to set yourself goals and targets for physical achievements, but it is important not to be too hard on yourself for missing goals, as this can and will happen to anyone
a good start is discussion with your doctor about the problem and your options
this may occasionally involve yelling about fudge
the best thing most people can do, even if they would benefit from medication, is talk through their problems
it is important to remember that you are neither undergoing a process that nobody else could understand or suffering alone, in the sense that there are people who you can talk to even just to talk through the day to day problems
being unhappy or even clinically depressed is far from unusual
having troubling thoughts is a fairly normal thing to do
I have no advice to offer, but I can try and anagram something for you, if you'd like
having actual thoughts like "I'm never going to feel fine"
the Regina Riot
Colon Rape Maple Contents
Planescape Colon Torment
I seem to recall he was here around the time of the Boston Marathon bombing
I think he left around two years ago
honestly not believing that Kento has been here regularly if at all in years
I might as well be
so you're Kento is what you're saying
the vagabond who's rapping at your door
not to you
walruses don't talk
never getting Gary Coleman to say "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, walrus"
crying like a fire in the sun
Brian Dunkleman
Ant and Dec, or possibly Dermot O'Leary
I got a new phone last year
wondering if there's a British Ryan Seacrest
seeking peace in a whiskey bottle with carney's tears
you got a new phone last year
not having heard from Gary since you changed numbers when you got a new phone last year
wondering how Gary is doing
your eighteen year old arthritic cat not having the flexibility to groom herself so her haunches are all ratty
Captain Dikhard
confusing Jean Luc Picard with Jean Felix Piccard
IMDb's alternate names for Jean Luc Picard
confusing Jean Luc Picard with Jean Luc Godard
thousands of people who eat out are her customers
Alice was really going to town on her physics assignment
using those special parts to build your robot friends
seeking peace in a whiskey bottle with Ryan Seacrest
next Sunday AD
dodecuple Ratcall dog's cocks
Ratcall dogs
Audubon Fisting Guides being so darned expensive
your blood runs cold, Ikeda is the centerfold
na naaa na na na naa
Ragdoll cats
I only bought Lube Tome Magazine once, when Go Ikeda was the centerfold
subscribing to Lube Tome Magazine but finding it more pretentiously highbrow than Fister's Weekly
Sandra Bullock has been named Lube Tome Magazine's most painful ape in the world, ow
colloidal GOLD enemas
Sandra Bullock has been named People Magazine's most beautiful woman in the world
I bet sign
the twenty second century will be remembered as the century in which the Sandwich Making Foxes entered the Hand Job Robot Hyphen Human Barbie War
it begins
only knowing that you chose not to enter the regret "it begins" because it doesn't appear in your autofill cache
A fox in Chernobyl has made Kento a large sandwich using cold meats and bread fed to him by a radio crew in the area
it begins
A fox in Chernobyl has made a large sandwich using cold meats and bread fed to him by a radio crew in the area
almost always feeling guilty after being live yogurt
I really don't know what you mean
being slain by a chaotic evil yogurt elemental, if you know what I mean
being slain by a chaotic evil yogurt elemental
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic yogurt, is live or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
almost always feeling guilty after eating live yogurt
giving Kento a bitchin' fringe for his birthday
lending your bee space to a dishonest beekeeper
almost always feeling sleepy after eating live yogurt
bee space
giving Kento a bichon frise for his birthday
colloidal silver enemas
Television personality Rosie O'Donnell got an ISIS tattoo in support of the Islamic State's "struggle against Western imperialism"
drinking champagne out of the chimp twats in Mexico
having actual thoughts like "maybe some day someone would be able to love me lol" and "maybe some day I'll actually let someone love me lol" and both seem pretty unlikely ugh
but at the same time, jeez, feeling happy and self assured for a while would be like a dream to you, and this just feels like proof that that's never something you'll be able to achieve without it somehow being something worse
still occasionally coming here to express the regrets that really scare you and get you down, that you feel like you can't share with other people directly
for your own part, being so depressed and anxious all the time that you can't even tell the difference between manic and just, you know, normal happy
having similar problems, feeling like you could use similar help unless, you know, she is going crazy
your sister being on drugs for her anxiety and depression and you can't tell if they're doing a world of good for her or just fucking her up in a different way
when your sister jokes about being manic depressive and you can't tell if she's just joking and you don't know if you should be like "but really, so you really think this, showul you think about getting help"
not eating twats, COOKIE!
not eating twats
licking Christina Ricci's cornhole a lot
cornholing is such a gross word
liking cornholing Paul Daniels, not a lot, but you like it
liking cornholing Christina Ricci a lot
cornholing a lot like Christina Ricci
not being twats
The Ultimate Vegan Meatball
Darth Plunder, Sith Master
helps in turds
The Ultimate Meatball
Shitplunder
Thunderlips
cornholing a girl who looked a lot like Willie Mays
I have dreams about the day i meet Christina Ricci and she feeds me fishsticks with her feet, then makes me lick them clean
popcornholing Christina Ricci
Some sources even say that Ricci compared the smell of her feet to popcorn
waffles that smell A LOT like Christina Ricci
girls who smell A LOT like Christina Ricci
girls who smell like Christina Ricci
waffles that smell like vanilla
girls who smell like vanilla
woad deer, what can the matter be
painting woad on the beefy internet hunks, FORM OF DEER!
painting woad on the beefy internet hunks, FOR FREEDOM!
blowing loads on the beefy internet hunks
blowing beefy hunks on the internet
blowing beefy chunks on the internet
chunking beefy loads on the internet
loading beefy chunks on the internet
loving beefy hunks on the internet
loving meaty guys on the internet
eating meaty guys on the internet
meating lovely guys on the internet
I was thinkin' maybe I could just marry into posture
teabagging Raymond Burr whilst cornholing Willie Mays
Florida Man Tries to Kiss Cottonmouth Joe, Remains Bachelor
Florida Man Tries to Kiss Cottonmouth Snake, Hospitalized after Bite
getting a pedoscope reading of over seven point three gigapolanskis
pedoscopes
greedy lout meating lonely vaginas
meating lonely guys old tree vagina
meating lonely guys at Olive Garden
meating lonely guys on the internet
eating a german cannibal who meets lonely guys on the internet and convinces them to let him eat them
being a lonely doll
being a german cannibal who meets lonely guys on the internet and convinces them to let him eat them
eating a lonely guy
being a lonely guy
Pokemon Darron Braised
getting your lips around a soft taco, nosh nosh nosh
Pokemon Born and Raised
turning around, bright eyes look you
soft tacos
going down on Bahama Breeze during a trip to your parents'
trust me, you NEED a shower after fucking Eddie V's Prime Seafood
taking a shower after an evening of passion with Eddie V's Prime Seafood, only to hear your phone ring as you're drying off, then walking out to see Eddie V's Prime Seafood holding your phone with a pic of Olive Garden's dick on it
running into LongHorn Steakhouse for the first time since college, getting talking in a bar and ending up back at LongHorn Steakhouse's place getting hot and heavy when LongHorn Steakhouse's roommate walked in and you were all "oh hey Olive Garden"
getting a two am drunk dial from Olive Garden and Olive Garden was screaming so loud that Red Lobster, who was sleeping next to you, could hear it and Red Lobster decided to put his pants on and leave and he hasn't called you in a week
telling Olive Garden you left all its crap in a box on the sidewalk on your smartphone, leaving out that you kept that sweater that still smells of Olive Garden's musk
ordering Olive Garden To Go on your smartphone
samaroid dioramas
shitting in his or her mouth
the stoveOVEN could be received by a man from a god and then transmitted by him to a statue by taking it in his arms
the sa could be received by a man from a god and then transmitted by him to a statue by taking it in his arms
enbabling Firefox addons
Tyttenhanger Green
Patrick Stewart has a surprising number of fake nudes
Chris Lydon
wondering what celebrity ranks number one in the number of terrible fake nude photos people have photoshopped
so basically fuck firefox
I suppose that "overheat" was a poor choice of words because it's not like my computer shut down or even showed signs of slower performance, but it did get super hot and the fan turned on whenever I watch twitch or have some firefox addons enbabled
Harry Potter slash fiction
her mouth was trained to perfection, and she made no mistake in pronouncing her spells, and her tongue was skilled and halted not
turps is free
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina masturbating with your cut off hand
taking me down to the Paradise Alley where the paint hotel's green and the turps is free
cock and endless balls
if the overheating persists, open a window
you can rest it on a book as long as the vents aren't blocked
raising it just a few inches above the desk or other surface should correct the problem
your computer is overheating because there is not enough cooler air reaching the vent intake
I wasn't wearing any underwear, but I was asleep
the death of James Dean
Crapustule
eating fire in paint hotels or drinking turpentine in Paradise Alley, death, or purgatorying your torso night after night with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, alcohol and cock and endless balls
naming a place where big breasts mean big business
not being able to watch twitch without your computer overheating
on a scale of one to ten, how sexy is the underwear you have on now
taking it from me
not bringing enough for everyone
rubbing it in
darling it's better down where it's wetter
I haven't done cunnilingus in like three weeks and am feeling horny inside of France it's too dark to read
you should probably go in a plane or a boat or at least on a train under the sea
sorry everyone, I'm filled with sperm and suspect I may have become semelparous
calling it a bottle
I'm going back to France in a week and a half
oh three weeks boo hoo baby want his bottle
that's fine, unless you're saying you're in France
I haven't done cunnilingus in like three weeks and am feeling horny
inside of France it's too dark to read
wondering how things are going, outside of France
David and Patrick enjoyed docking immensely because of Patty's stretchy foreskin
I don't even have a tail
so, docking it is then
if it were my bag you may rest assured that I would like to make your bag my bag in a sleeping bag
I'd totally spoon your boobs, if you had any, which I'm pretty sure you don't, by reason of having male primary sexual characteristics which I am not interested in braiding or cupping, viz, it is not my bag
Regicide! #cheeriyolo
you got me
that ok, fine, you're special
spermicidal #yolo
Genocide! #yolo
nobody is special rtfm
coli
someone special
stable wifi
having practically no signal and being unable to connect to a stable wifi
bottoming for Willie Mays in Five Tool Players VII
nobody is special, colon apostrophe open bracket
having a great week farting in bed, eating garlicky vegan prawns, and not masturbating in case you should have been saving up for someone special
Greek yoghurt being principally composed of cultures of bacteria found in and on the human body, but not the awful ones like e coli
Fifty Shades of Grey Colon Fifty Shades Darker
Greek yoghurt smelling like sweat
Today marks the one hundred year anniversary of Armenian Genocide! #yolo
Today marks the one hundred year anniversary of Armenian Genocide!
aboot it, eh
about it
maizeholing Willie Korn
corking Willie Mays's bat
Willie Mays is no stranger to leathery balls right to the chin
I really had anally penetrative sex with Willie Mays the baseball player
wondering if you were doing the Mays slash Maize pun in your regret, or if you actually did have anal sex with Willie Mays and wanted to see how other people who have done the same felt about it
bottoming for Willie Maize in Cornholing VII
cornholing Willie Mays
never Eiffel Towering Harrison Ford with a Hutt
never telling Harrison Ford he's queer
I never thought of you like that, HAL
it's fun to say that you're my wife now Dave
never telling Harrison Ford he's odd
bottoming for Mila Kunis in Milk Anus I
Mila Kunis Geldof
being kicked out of a pitch meeting with the Suffolk Tourist Board for pitching "Worf's Texan Oligarch Flunk'
Johnny Depp Is Terrifying and Unrecognizable as Gangster Whitey Bulger in Black Mass Until He Purses His Lips
Mealworm Cunnilingus Geldof
Bulger in Black Mass
Johnny Depp Is Terrifying and Unrecognizable as Gangster Whitey Bulger in Black Mass
while Ashton Kutcher insults Turkishness
while Ashton Kutcher chokes a chicken
drawing a picture of Mila Kunis performing cunnilingus on a mealworm
Mila Kunis 'so fucking relaxed' by holiday in Suffolk
drawing a picture of Mila Kunis taking holiday in Suffolk, if you know what I mean
being kicked out of a pitch meeting with the Suffolk Tourist Board for pitching "Fucking Anal Sex Fort Whorl"
being kicked out of a pitch meeting with the Suffolk Tourist Board for pitching "Suffolk Can Relax, Right Now"
Tiny Hamster vs Kobayashi
that doesn't really improve the voyeur's situation
Rachel Stevens is middle aged
that maybe you'd feel differently if pictures of Rachel Stevens surfaced but your gut feeling is that you'd just feel like a skeevy middle aged get
wondering why anyone wanted to see porn movies starring that wretchedly ugly chick who banged Anthony Wiener
wondering why naked pics of celebrities are somehow more valuable or appealing than the literally millions of other naked people available on the internet, other than the illicit thrill of the fact that they were stolen
I was talking about the poorly photoshopped stuff
now I'm the Kento
being somehow morally superior, very lonely, and not wanking like a chimp just at the thought that some people you've never met might have had sex
finding the most remarkable thing about the 'fappening' to be how little it interested you
not knowing if the previous regret is referring to the usual porn with a celebrity head poorly photoshopped on or a reference to the so called 'fappening'
a google search for "Mila Kunis nude" indicating that she has had quite a bit of experience with that
Mila Kunis 'destroyed' anally
The lawsuit alleges Mykel Hawke "is driven by the motive of jealousy to destroy Mr Teti's successful television career," and that Hawke "enlisted several co conspirators to aid him in his campaign against Mr Teti"
Mila Kunis 'devastated' by cock
check your urethra
battery not found
Mila Kunis 'devastated' by cockblocking
Mila Kunis 'devastated' by cock trial
Mila Kunis 'devastated' by chicken lawsuit
probably having changed less than you think
barely recognising yourself
wondering if you would be recognisable to someone who hasn't seen you for years
that devil's advocaat is an oxymoron
his point of view
being certain Tweetdeck is a buggy, memory eating piece of shit, but have nothing to back that up with
never really getting much opportunity to talk to an anti commerce radical
Saucer
A Curse
Race Us
Car Use
A Colorado man who has been "fighting with his computer for the last several months"
Dick was constantly, as you would imagine, pushing very hard on his point of view
$$
Arceus
Goosiness is next to Swanliness
insulting Goosiness
insulting Turkish Star Warsness
insulting Turkishness
it's walkin' fuck, hallelujah, it's walkin' fuck, amen
I'm walkin' fuck
not being sure you want to wait over two years for a walk in fuck
it looks like she can fit you in around July twenty seventeen
if you want to screw Lindsay Lohan, you can download her snatchchat ap and book an appointment
Tartikoff wrote a brainstorming memo that simply read "Titanic meets Frasier"
Tartikoff wrote a brainstorming memo that simply read "MTV cops"
pseudepigrapha
Spiders of Lohan
if you have anal nymphs, consult your doctor immediately
FOUR HOT ANAL NYMPHS GETTING THEIR BUTTS DESTROYED, AH AH AH
THREE HOT ANAL NYMPHS GETTING THEIR BUTTS DESTROYED
a Chinese cartoon where the robots turn into blingwads
seriously, just tell me where the damn forest is
really regretting not making time to talk or time with the cute girl from Monday
walking ten miles through idyllic forests yesterday and not seeing a single nymph, hot assed or otherwise
I know a forest frequented by hot assed nymphs of indeterminate age if you want to give that a shot
really needing to get laid
preferring to believe that abasing oneself with Lindsay Lohan automatically makes one the submissive, bottom or less worthy part of the horrible conjoining of flesh
it's really hard to modify regrets on the phone, because of the tendency to scroll everything rather than just the text box
that regret gets a huge F circled at the top with "see me after class" written under it
why would they call it Riders of Lohan when Lohan is the one doing the riding
taking your panties off in Pentewan
bottoming for Lindsay Lohan in Riders of Lohan, Winona Rider
going to the Most Beautiful Ass in the World world premiere with Lindsay Lohan
bottoming for Lindsay Lohan in Beautiful Arabic Donkey VII
You're a Beautiful Donkey
the two are not mutually exclusive
Lindsay Lohan Confuses 'You're Beautiful' With 'You're a Donkey' in Arabic
Dick Butkus, da Bears
A dog found at the controls of a tractor on the Mseventyfour motorway has caused long tailbacks
Dick Cole
Mrs 'Anus Goes to Venice
fin octet, if you know what I mean
fin octet
confetti
clown semen
clown prostitutes
clown porn
the death of Jewel Ricci
her mojo plan
Hole Jam Porn
bottoming for Huge Jackman in Ex Men III Colon The Ass Stand
Male Pro John
Major Phenol
John Palermo
that combining Bryan Singer, Ian McKellen, and a man with the name "Hugh Jackman" has already produced a property gayer than a Minnesota bathroom
wondering what can be gained by reading X men comics
the gays are already spending their decorative throw pillow money on your shitty movies, Marvel, what the hell more do you want
disturbing, blue Kelsey Grammer replacement, bright blue Gary Glitter
wondering what can be gained by making gay a member of a franchise that has already pretty much been embraced as a huge metaphor for homosexuality
disturbing, blue Kelsey Grammer
being aware that most of if not all of the 'classic' and prominent X men have been portrayed in the movies, but seriously having no fucking clue who any of them were
Ewan McGregor joins live action 'Data Butane Bytes, Eh'
Ewan McGregor joins live action 'Abated by a Teen Tush'
Ewan McGregor joins live action 'A Death by Tuna Beets'
Ewan McGregor joins live action 'Beauty and the Beast'
something Iceman something something Bryan Singer's hot tub
'X Men' Icon Iceman Comes Out as Gay
Jackin' it Jackin' it, Jackity Jack! Spankin' it Jackin' it, Spankity Smack!
Pokemon Paul Blart Colon Mall Cop and Paul Blart Colon Mall Cope Two Colon Mall Copper
Pokemon Eiffel Towering and Spray Painting
Red Letter Media's Zookeeper trailer review
Pokemon Griddles and Waffle Irons
an ass like a ten year old boy having her buttocks spray painted
drawing a picture of a female human of indeterminate age with an ass like a ten year old boy having her buttocks spray painted teal by Pikachu and Weedle
drawing a picture of Ash Ketchum between Weedle and Pikachu
being anywhere between Weedle and Pikachu
Pokemon Thirteen and Twenty Five
Buckyballs House
Pokemon Girdles and Underwear
a widowed and pregnant veterinarian
Fuller House
there's nothing wrong with saying hello
I did get a glimpse of her face as I walked past, but it was inconclusive, and I didn't want to turn back and stare at her
spanx club doesn't pay
crime doesn't pay
"Spanx Smuggler," seventy, Arrested With Four Pounds Of Cocaine In Her Girdles, Underwear
it basically looked like she spray painted her buttocks lean tone
it basically looked like she spray painted her buttocks loan teen
it basically looked like she spray painted her buttocks ante Leon
FourOhOne K and Juliet
she may remember you from such movies as 'Sexy Grampa' and 'Dentures in the Glass'
that also, if you get talking she'll be able to judge for herself how Troy McClure you are
having been in similar situations and got so wrapped up in worrying that you wasted the chance
not having any useful advice for the situation other than maybe if you looked at something other than her ass you might get some more clues to her real age
Roman Polanski's fear of drugging and repeatedly sexually assaulting twenty five year old women
taking a wank in the woods and noticing a young lady wearing tiny shorts that perfectly fitted her nice rear doing some kind of aerobics dance, and wondering whether to lust after her because she could have been anywhere from thirteen to twenty five
feeling cunamorus
Indominus rex
More dogs showing up to emergency veterinarian offices high on marijuana
The actor, best known for his role as Captain James T Kirk in Star Trek, called Seattle "a place where there's a lot of water"
it basically looked like she spray painted her buttocks neon teal
taking a walk in the woods and noticing a young lady wearing tiny shorts that perfectly fitted her nice rear doing some kind of aerobics dance, and wondering whether to lust after her because she could have been anywhere from thirteen to twenty five
tall poppy syndrome
that that Comic Sans isn't in the list of top regrets isn't in the list of top regrets
No Sour Cum, allycumpooster
like his brother Myke, Stringfellow Hawke refused to wear underwear
we named the kid Indiana
When Stringfellow Hawke was ten, he and his parents were involved in a boating accident
Cunomorus, allycumpooster
I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog
Cunomorus
you'll never find a more wretched hive of sand cum villainy
Pokemon Scum and Villainy
Pokemon Bearded Riker and Beardless Riker
Pokemon Arleil Schous and Pons Limbic
Pokemon Commander and Two Female Ensigns in a Mud Bath
Pokemon Master and Commander
Pokemon Kit Fisto and Elan Sleazebaggano
Pokemon Master and Apprentice
bottoming for Nude Gunray in Ass Blockades Isn't Entirely Legal VII
Pokemon Boss Nass and Nute Gunray
The power source for Gungan technology was a mysterious blue white energy "goo" that was mined in the depths of Naboo's oceans
Pokemon masturbation
Pokemon Masturbation and Pussies and Waffles
I barely even vote any more, don't look at me
the top regrets being about existential angst and interpersonal awkwardness, and the bottom regrets being about fisting and masturbation and pussies and waffles
Pokemon Meesa So Happy and They Came From Behind
coarse
Pokemon Course and Rough and Irritating
Pokemon I Have a Bad Feeling About This and Cover Me, Porkins
Pokemon Cookies and Pussy
Pokemon Never Tell Me The Odds and It Belongs In A Museum
Pokemon Cease & Desist
Pokemon Your Recent Accomplishments Leaving You Feeling Spent, Used, and Broken into Smithereens, Rather than Joyous, Celebratory or Purposeful
Pokemon Resignation and Platitudes
Pokemon Indecision and Self Recrimination
Pokemon I Pulled Up to the House About Seven or Eight and I Yelled to the Cabbie 'Yo Holmes Smell Ya Later,' I Looked at My Kingdom, I Was Finally There, To Sit on My Throne as the Prince of Bel Air
Pokemon Chillin' Out Maxin' Relaxin' All Cool and All Shootin' Some B Ball Outside of the School
seeing a cute girl before you went out for the day but not being able to stop and talk with her
No signal found for mobile networks
M
being allergic to penile pap
being allergic to ape nipple
being allergic to pineapple
putting too much orange juice in your Canadian Cookie, eh
putting too much orange juice in your Canadian Pussy, eh
putting too much pineapple juice in your Sweet Tight Pussy
butchering your meeter
meeting your butcher
i dot imgur dot com slash AsixPffivetwol dot jpg
feeling really randy for some reason right now, baby, cheerio
feeling really hungry for some reason right now
reading nine three five three four in Cookie Monster's voice
lately viewing the CD and DVD collection you've haphazardly built up but rarely if ever use as a possible sign of hoarding
just really not understanding the collector mentality
they had a Watto doll in the same scale, mint in box, but it was only worth seventy five percent of the signed authenticated Michelle Pfeiffer photo
Bizarre, Striated, Earthwormlike Jar Jar Binks
Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks
feeling really horny for some reason right now
Fribbulus Xax
spanx club SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
spanx club
that you used to be in wanx club but then you found out that you could just like wanx on Facebook
wanx club
joining the winx club in the bathroom at church
winx club
wix month old lake babies
wix months
arguing about co payments with my insurance company for wix months like you did by the lake on Naboo
giving me slightly too little novocaine and a sugar free lollipop like you did by the lake on Naboo
extracting my wisdom teeth like you did by the lake on Naboo
Urban Guy
it's basically Family Guy with all the character's skin tone darkened five percent
Dad's Modern Skin Flyer, the hit new comedy on FOX, this Sunday from eight
bellowing DAD'S MODERN SKIN FLYER
bellowing LARD KNIFED SYNDROMES
sucking me like you did by the lake on Naboo
that your phone won't suggest sucked but will suggest Naboo
drilling me like you did by the lake on Naboo
drawing a picture of Anakin Skywalker being Eiffel Towered by Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks and sand by the lake on Naboo
drawing a picture of Anakin Skywalker being Eiffel Towered by the lake on Naboo
thrilling me like you did by the lake on Naboo
holding me like you did by the lake on Naboo
laking a shame baby
meeting me by the lake to talk lake babies
bending a spoon with your mind and also your hands
seriously, wtf is a lake baby
lake babies going on a Santa cruise
going on a Santa cruise in a Santa suit to Santa Cruz sponsored by Santander and Tom Cruise
J Period J Period Abrams was 'suspicious' of 'Star Wars' actor Mark Hamill colon 'He invited me to the Quality Inn, Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl'
meesa love you long time
meesa so horny
Mark Hamill was 'suspicious' of 'Star Wars' director J Period J Period Abrams colon 'He was a 'Star Trek' guy'
meesa be fillin' you all de ways
please, PLEASE never use the phrase "twelve inch Jar Jar" ever again
out of box
that an authenticated signed Michelle Pfieffer glossy has the same value as a near mint twelve inch Jar Jar
on the end
that the fact that there are two e's on wookiee but not on Chewie has started to bother you
sucking Joey Fatone until he had a NSYNCgasm
sucking a big Joey Fatone
bottoming for Joey Fatone and Manley Pope in Rent Boys VII
the Netherlands thing is strange admittedly, jij hebt seks met ezels
Manley Pope, boyfriend to Elizabeth and Jessica
the Netherlands thing is strange admittedly
there's nothing wrong with the auto correct in the Netherlands
RegretLand, the most regretful place on Earth
she's the ship that made the Hill Valley Run in less than eighty eight miles an hour
wondering if lake babies is some kind of British patois, or if it's a pop culture reference I'm not getting, if it's a pun on something I'm not seeing, or if your auto correct just screwed you on that one
Lake Puppies
Huey, we're news
much preferring Lake Boobies to the Dick of Hate
once again being super glad that dinosaurs are extinct
because of the dawn
turns out it's cockerels
Lake Babies
not really being able to tell if you're hearing a couple of howling dogs or a couple of howling drunks
riding Bicoid Babe's Asshole Fountain even though it is a total dork ride for lake babies
riding the Dick of Hate and not having enough tickets left to ride Bicoid Babe's Asshole Fountain
his critics can "all ride the dick of hate because the truth comes out in the end"
adeelmoru
remoullllade
licking Danish remoulade out of Sylvia Browne's wetter cat
not liking Danish remoullade, it's oleagenous and thick and viscous and it gets everywhere
licking Danish remoulade out of Sylvia Browne's erect twat
playing Cristina Ricci and Winona Rider with Tim Duncan
drawing a picture of Christina Ricci and Winona Rider
braiding their twats together
City of Troy
drawing a picture of Christina Ricci and Winona Rider braiding their twats together
Blisland, allycumpooster
Blisland
People married to Catholics also are no longer excluded
tiny kangaroo motorsport
the bald old Duke of York, he had some billionaire friends, they invited him to Rape Island and the allegations stem from then self harming in the bath with the lights off, surrounded by scented candles
the world's first bowlful of vagina yoghurt
smelling sex and Candide here
reading Candide while smelling candied candida candidly
FUNT CROSS
not liking that and
the bald old Duke of York, he had some billionaire friends, they invited him to Rape Island and the allegations stem from then
self harming in the bath with the lights off, surrounded by scented candles
popping a finger up your butt while you self harm
mutual self harming
sitting on your hand for a while before you self harm so that it feels like someone else is doing it
always thinking Will Smith is a marsh elf
always thinking Kid Rock is an achondroplastic dwarf
Pokemon Maxin' and Relaxin'
having a swift sneaky self harm before you get up
spending most of your days on the playground
Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie
deviled eggs
Pokemon Twats and Breasts
Pokemon Cookie and Pussy
Pokemon Coriander and Colander
Pussy Monster, US Surgeon General Urge Women To Get HPV Vaccinations
putting coriander in your colander
Elmo, US Surgeon General, Urges Children To Get Their Vaccinations
more like Kevin Crabs
that's what Kevin Clash said
it's just a little pinch, and it's safe
Elmo, US Surgeon General Urge Children To Get Their Vaccinations
"faggot faggot, faggot faggot, faggot faggot, bite my butt"
The Morbegs
fal lal the willow! I know that you like me! hey! come merry dol! I know it's not a secret! derry dol! my darling! I want to be your girlfriend!
Hey dol! merry dol! I don't like your girlfriend! ring a dong dillo! I think you need a new one! ring a dong! hop along! I could be your girlfriend!
Tom Bombadil Lavigne
Bovril Lavigne
digging a vril latrine with Avril Lavigne
getting CN Towered by Jim Carrey in a Maple Leafs jersey and a Canada goose in a mountie hat in the dumpster behind Tim Hortons while Alan Thicke watches from afar pleasuring himself with a hockey puck
eating poutine whilst listening to Rush and curling with a box of Kraft dinner
fmefs
wondering if there is a more Canadian thing than the Halifax Mooseheads Quebec Major Junior Hockey League team, eh
Dorothy the Dinosaur dances to this song
Alba an Aigh
perforated owl
giving Kento a colander for his birthday
giving Kento a perforated bowl for his birthday
perforated bowl
flowerpot bread
STOP! Hammer flans
it's hammer flans
it's Marsh Elfman
it's Morgan Freeman
marsh elves like to relax and unwind in exclusive party haunts frequented by world leaders, movie stars and the ultra rich
marsh elf sales divisions offer a typical yield for investors up to fifteen percent greater than yields of conventional elf sales divisions
marsh elves are extremely goal oriented
Living in a swamp has its advantages, making the marsh elves more hardy, but also disadvantages, making them less sociable outside of their own kind
Marsh Elf Sally
that after a long car journey you often want a long, slow marsh elf in a relaxing, private environment
that after a long car journey you often want a long, slow self harm in a relaxing, private environment
the eradication of mirepoix
Moby self harming himself in Japan
an international festival of the art of marionettes held every summer
mirepoix
always thinking that young bald men without facial hair are cancer patients
it's more than a feeling
I've been watching a Star Wars teaser since way before anybody paid me to watch a Star Wars teaser
Matthew Mcconaughey's reaction to Star Wars teaser
brainin ran
raisin bran
that the peanuts, Mexican food, and raisin brain you had been eating the past couple of days culminated yesterday in a dump that felt like it was at least fifty kilos
dietary fibre is important
doesn't even hurt to poop no more
no biggie
a couple of days of septicemia
there was just a little bit on the wipe
at least you're not shitting blood anymore
committing self harm in the middle of the night, laid in your cold, insuperably vast and otherwise empty bed, trying not to think about what could have been and instead focusing on some scuzzy porn you saw featuring people who are arguably better than you
being slain by a marsh elf in the bathroom at church
being slain by a crane grue
committing self harm in the bathroom at church
committing self harm in the bathroom during your lunch break
Women with short hair are committing self harm
vous avez ete mange par une crane
Kento's ass and buttocks
Hillary Clinton probably needs Chipotlaway now
bottoming for Charlie Chaplin in The Braid Dicktator
always leaving it until the last minute to pack fudge
giving someone a note that says "you ready anal culls" whenever you say goodbye to them, even if you will see them again soon
always leaving it until the last minute to pack
giving someone a note that says "you are Dana Scully" whenever you say goodbye to them, even if you will see them again soon
Gazorpazorpfield
giving someone a note that says "you are Jake Sully" whenever you say goodbye to them, even if you will see them again soon
Wee Willie Winkie running through the town
wondering if by posting some auto translated Klingon the other day you inadvertently woke up Spambot
giving someone a note that says "will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through" whenever you say goodbye to them, even if you will see them again soon
giving someone a note that says "waffletastic" whenever you say goodbye to them, even if you will see them again soon
GaoRXobwyfznrfxeB
giving someone a note that says "you are Lisa Simpson" whenever you say goodbye to them, even if you will see them again soon
speleology
Panty Ant Man
speliology
we should take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else
that you rarely watch YouTube with ads thanks to ad blocking software and you're always surprised when you see them
you are probably more likely to buy maxi pads than go to see Ant Man, and at least those ads usually have somewhat attractive women in them
wishing that you could somehow convey the idea to Youtube that, even though you are in the prime target demographic, you have absolutely no fucking interest in Ant Man, and you will not go and see it no matter how many times they give you the ad
The First Order
ewwww
doing a poop so big it made you bleed a little, then getting kind of sick for a couple of days after
wondering what that "terrifying poop experience" you had a while back was
being I don't even knowtheistic
I don't even know
theistic
pitching a concept album that brings together talented tuba players to perform pop music standards of the twenty tens
grand slamming Fat Sam at Fat Sam's Grand Slam, it's your home sweet home, no homo
noting that someone entered "noting that "it's the CIA" is an anagram of "atheistic" but someone already entered it" in their personal file at CIA headquarters
noting that "it's the CIA" is an anagram of "atheistic" but someone already entered it
it's the CIA
bTTrcnpnlySY
It's your kids, Chewie! Something's gotta be done about your kids!
he knew he had those fridges installed for a reason
okay, I just watched it, the part where Han crashes the Falcon into a golf course was pretty cool
UNCLEAN
just Moons of Iegoing it in sandy Jakku
I didn't watch it, I just read a news article
not watching the trailer because you don't want to get sucked back in
the desert planet Jakku indicating that the new trilogy too will center around eremikophobia
Chewie, we're home
sending Hayden Christensen the complete works of Amantine Lucile Dupin
Will Smith stars as a man who sets out to run a couple co projects with seven people
Will Smith stars as a man who sets out to change the lives of seven people
imagining that silicone injections give flesh the same sort of weight, feel and tactile properties as your kitchen utensils
building a town under a ramp made from pedophiles with Peter Frampton
making a mental note to never eat anything Micha Stunz has cooked
we should introduce him to Kento
he estimates it weighs half a stone, although it is too heavy to be weighed on his kitchen scales anymore
science cannot advance without dick pics
Micha Stuntz
New Monkee with unusual penis is too busy singing to put anybody down
Han Solo is still dicking around in his filthy spaceship with a giant kid for company, so presumably Leia decided Luke was still the better prospect of the two
New monkey with unusual penis discovered
Force Sand
wondering if Hayden Christensen will be playing the inevitable Force Ghost Anakin
being too busy singing to spay or neuter your pets
seeing from a screencap that apparently after thirty seven years Han Solo is still dicking around in his filthy spaceship with a giant dog for company, so presumably Leia decided Luke was still the better prospect of the two
being too busy singing to put anybody down
Eric Clinton Kirk Newman
being named after a metalACHOOfocus
Panama City gang rape colon 'Spring break as we know it is over'
being named after a fatal mouse cooch
being named before a famous chocolate
being named after a famous chocolate
Dildo Forian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong
Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong
bottoming for Harvey Cream in The Twink Defense VII
the Twinkie defense
swanslaughter
manslaughter
Son of a bitch! Fist with your toes
hopefully uncrusting concealables in your underwear
hopefully concealing unbraidables in your underwear
hopefully concealing untouchables in your underwear
unpronouncables
chay' Qui Tu vISov vIneH
hopefully concealing uncrustables in your underwear
resistance is ductile, oo oo
resistance is ductile
resistance is tensile
resistance is futile, but I like it more when you pretend
resistance is futile
on Andor you just swipe your hand under the restroom divider
Heaven, Eden, call it what you will, the Klingons call it "Qui Tu," for the Romulans it's "Vorta Vor," the Andorian word is unpronouncable
Darmok and Jalad, at Tanagra
interpreting the entirety of Star Trek as a metaphor for anal sex
good to go ease
that guy not taking "I would totally bang your mom" in the complimentary way you intended it
uncrustables
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her twats
using the word "twattastic"
using the word "watts"
wondering if there will be mass cannabis related deaths all through the month of April five years from now
moodily going where no man has gone before
shooting guns just makes you horny
getting an advertisement for Youtube on Youtube
drawing a picture of Kento being horizontally integrated by Rupert Murdoch and a Japanese media conglomerate
horizontal integration, if you know what I mean
using the word "twats"
horizontal integration
boldly going "on a fag whore semen boner, eh"
boldly going "where no man has gone before"
bottoming for Trip Tucker III in Trip Fucker III
tripping over three times while being commanded to tuck by commander Trip Tucker III
bodily going where no man has gone before
bottoming for Peter Gabriel in GenASSis VII only to have him be replaced by Phil Collins partway through
drawing a picture of Peter Gabriel and MC Hammer hammering their sledges together
this amusement never ends
wanting to be your stop sledgehammer in the summertime
sledge sledge sledgehammer
wanting to be my sledgehammer
right here, April fifteenth twenty fifteen, I'm calling "Darth Sledge" as the new Star Wars villain
Darth Sand
who's that singing at your wedding, it's Calculon, Calculon, Calculon
Don Henley's wedding sounding like a nightmare gig
in a New York minute, oooooOOOOoooooh, everything can change, I'm walkin' here
the Y cape of Darth Sledge
the percy of Death Sledge
the sledge of Percy Death
the death of Percy Sledge
a man who has been attacking people for sneezing
blathering
obviously pop acts sell themselves using sex, but it seems curious that actors have to as well
guessing that it's possible young male actors are required to do similar things and you just don't notice
finding it weird that any young actress has to pose in what you might laughably call 'au naturel' shots to raise her profile and wondering who is going to be the first pictured taking the hugest dump
googling 'athena battlestar' because you couldn't recall the character, but mostly getting pictures of the equivalent remake character's actress in some of her underwear
that was the end of the innocence
Henley called paramedics to his home on November twenty first, nineteen eighty, where a sixteen year old girl was found naked and claiming she had overdosed on quaaludes and cocaine
diatomic carbon
not really being certain
down to where
with walrus semen in his hair and a dress cut down to there
his name was Kento, he was a showgirl
not realizing how huge Tatyana Ali's co projects had gotten until you did a google image search
running Tatyana Ali's couple co projects
smelling the blood of an Englishman, cheerio
Auntie Fum
Auntie Foe
Auntie Fie
Auntie Fee
a crude frill romper rag on Sesame Street, eh
a regular canine performer on Sesame Street
a regular child performer on Sesame Street
wondering if Tatyana Ali would run a couple of co projects with you, if you know what I mean
spooning Tatyana Ali's boobs
the Bottomsex Canal
having impure thoughts about a teenage Tatyana Ali
you never really watching
that you never really watching the Fresh Prince when it was first run
finding out that you were born several years after Tatyana Ali, even though growing up you always thought she was much younger than you
getting up, getting with it, or getting out of my sight
shit blasted Sting
watching Kenneth Dupee Swan being duped by a swan
finding out that you were born the same year as Tatyana Ali, even though growing up you always thought she was much older than you
Kenneth Dupee Swan
the Middlesex Canal, wicked pissah
wondering where the fixation with Roman Polanski came from originally
meted anal child sex
the Middlesex Canal
meating a girl whose father is a proctologist and whose mother is a gynecologist
Fat gay Asian zoo keeper saves horny walrus by licking it's penis for an hour
meeting a girl whose father is a proctologist and whose mother is a gynecologist
getting fucked in tits genetics, son, eh
wondering how many parents have named their children before Pokemon
for an hour
regretting it
getting sucked into thine Sting feces
getting sucked into fencing testis, eh
getting sucked into the fisting scene
Chinese zoo keeper saves constipated chimp by licking it's anus for an hour
stealing that girl's champagne out of the communal chimp anus
not one of the fifty three people who have fisted Go Ikeda regretting it
Stalin that comrade's bra from the communist laundry room every day for five years
applying nude thong thong fluid to Abra's bra
stealing that nun's bra from the commune laundry room
stealing Abra's bra from the communal laundry room
knowing a girl in high school named Abra
wondering how many parents have named their children after Pokemon
Getone Zester Rhydon Geldof
John Ronald Reuel Roald Rubnadictacy Rastafarian Geldof
he should really getone
Christopher Rhydon not owning a zester
Christopher Rhydon
not owning a zester
Christopher Walrein
wondering why your finger hurts and then remembering that you cut it on a zester
John Ronald Reuel Roald Rubnadictacy Rastafarian Tolkien
wondering if JRRRRR Tolkien had an extensive dildo collection that would draw his gaze whenever he tried to think of a name for a character
Alaska Airlines, meow
Tom Bombadil Airlines
failure of the acme nut threads happened because of insufficient lubrication of the jackscrew assembly which was the result of Alaska's extended lubrication and inspection intervals
stealing that girl's waffles from the communal waffle iron
seeing a photo of a fleet of Alaska Airlines jets and assuming that the face on their tails was some kind of IVchan style manipulated meme image
An airport worker who fell asleep and found himself trapped in a plane's cargo hold forced a Los Angeles bound Alaska Airlines flight to return to Seattle Monday afternoon
braiding hot Italian sausages together
trying to barter hot Italian sausage for comics, if you know what I mean
trying to barter hot Italian sausage for comics
hot Italian sausage
having never bought a comic in your life
dill pickles
"Stop, I'm Already Dead" by Deadboy & the Elephantmen
that iZombie is based on a comic you ignored because the title was stupid and you assumed the premise either to be zombies even more obviously than usual obsessed with consumerism, or some kind of relationship fish out of water bullshit
fuck off back to Eton with all your honest cum
seeing that there's a show called iZombie, and, charitably, deciding to interpret it as an attempt to document the two dumbest trends of our generation for archaeological posterity, rather than a cynical attempt to trick people into watching
fuck off back to Eton with all your Eton chums
bra meeting Perp Penis
rubbing one out in that girl's bra from the communal laundry room
stealing that girl's bra from the normal manly cum odour
that's no truly anal cum dorm moon, that's a truly anal cum dorm space station
stealing that girl's bra from the truly anal cum dorm moon, eh
Prince probably has banged some teenagers he shouldn't have
taking a trip to the Dewiest Rape Isles with Bill Clinton and Prince
Prince Andrew
picturing the cuisine of the Dewiest Rape Isles as the kind of bakefried crap middle aged men who've let themselves go prefer, served with the finest shitty warm beers by teenage sex workers
taking a trip to the Dewiest Rape Isles with Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew
Tweedier Piss Ales
Saltier Swede Pies
Dewiest Rape Isles
Edelweiss Pirates
wankerleaks
Hillary Clinton has stolen our innovative WikiLeaks twitter logo design
the French Canadian Crippler, mon tabarnak j'vais te decalisser la yeule, calice
the French Canadian Crippler
the French Crippler
prawns, no homo
sticking your dick in crayfish
French gigglers
French ticklers
whittlin' on a piece o' wood
crisping your duck like crazy
Pope Calls Killings of Sand People 'Genocide,' Provoking Turkish Star Wars
sticking Myke Hawke in crazy
sticking your dick in a streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds
not sticking your dick in crazy, especially if you were acting on advice from others
sticking your duck in crazy
sticking your dick in crazy
bottoming for very dirty birds in Big Black Prawn Stars VII
drawing a picture of a very dirty bird taking a huge load of prawns, no homo
screaming fishfully
The UK is among the least religious countries in the world, fuck your god, cheerio
a third possibility, that the bird was simply "very dirty" had been discounted early Thursday morning when it was noticed the bird was standing in water and couldn't be dirty, because it's like having a bath
boffins described the normal diet of flamingos, a load of prawns, as being responsible for the pink coloration of flamingoes, "no homo", but said either the black flamingo had been living on coal or was some kind of dancer having a breakdown, crikey
An extremely rare black flamingo, possibly the only one of its kind, was spotted near a military base on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus on Wednesday
Although its body is fat, its proficient clenching skills enable it to keep up with big bruisers like Walrein and Professor Oak
luchawhores
tracking down oil workers who skip bail with Tracey Ullman
Although its body is small, its proficient fighting skills enable it to keep up with big bruisers like Machamp and Hariyama
Lotion Maids of Heated Nurse TV, desu ne
Lotion Maids of Heated Nurse TV
The Adventures of Lotion Maids
fisting thoughtfully
something swanful
thinking fishfully
thinking wishfully
The Adventures of Idiot Salmon
Snappling Canadians
The Adventures of Milo and Otis
crippling Canadians
one of the only guys who would take a chair shot to the back of the head
the Canadian Crippler
Farage isn't going to get up before dawn
Giant Ehstacks
Big Daddy
Giant Haystacks
he IS Polish, so I'm pretty sure the old "heads I win, tails you lose" trick will work on him
stealing that boy's bra from Kento's laundry room
Hulk Hogan's Heroes
Prince Jan Zylinski has challenged Nigel Farage to a duel because he has "had enough of discrimination against Polish people" in the UK
Part Scot Ed, eh
Samuel L Jackson Hogan Geldof
Captain America Hogan
Hawkeye Hogan
Black Widow Hogan
Thor Hogan
Iron Man Hogan
Hulk Hogan's kin
being sort of surprised that there hasn't been a comic book villain named 'Deport Scat, Eh' yet
being sort of surprised that there hasn't been a comic book villain named 'The Podcaster' yet
no argument there
he would still be better than Clooney
casting Kento as Batman
like Tim Burton's Penguin
Chris Lydon has all those walrus friends
Busty Din
maybe you were jerking a lonely old man
thinking dark matter is stupid without any real basis for thinking so
wondering if there is a game like the Settlers of Catan where you can win by just pulling a gun and shooting the other players dead, those bastards
Dusty Bin
feeling dumb
not being sure you would play Risk all the way through if instead of fruity eighteenth century armies it involved crabs, but still, crab armies would be something to see
thinking that there probably is
wondering if there is a game like Risk but with crabs
having never finished a game of Risk
cracking regrets out to consign your shame to oblivion
still really wanting noodles
noodling on it just to annoy other people
that if the 'dex were a keyboard you'd probably spend hours noodling on it just to annoy other people
using the word "patrician" as an adverb, even for a joke
trying and failing to get laid
rubbing one out in the communal laundry room
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he did want a serious relationship, he was stealing your bras from the communal laundry room
stealing Jewel's bra
six times
that whoever voted yes on 'giving up drinking' wasn't you
sometimes feeling that you know someone but being aware of how ridiculous that would be and never acting on it
dear diary, today I took the amazing Regret Index further into the realms of indulgent diatribe than ever before, signed,Anonymous Racist British Regrettor
that ah, well, I guess you know don't you, and it is probably just the way I'm made so perhaps this was always the inevitable end
maybe you were a jerk to a lonely old man
on the other hand maybe you avoided going on dates with a gay man more than twice your own age because you were trying to be nice
that for example you thought rather irritably that you knew years ago when that colleague wouldn't stop trying to spend time with you in the lunch room that he was interested and he was actually gay, but then again maybe he was also a middle aged idiot
CRIPPLING DOUBT
no longer really being sure you know when people are interested in you, but now with the added doubt of not being sure you ever actually knew that
no longer knowing what age of adults is an appropriate target for your advances
friends and acquaintances moving on with their lives, settling down, having children, and you still being stuck in a dead end trying and failing to get laid
remembering your last year of college in which you first realised that you were a drunk but weren't yet ashamed of it
remembering your last year in college in which you briefly considered moving to the country, eating you a lot of peaches, moving to the country, going to eat you a lot of peaches
wooing local skanks
spending your time gathering meth in the woods
they've got nothing to do but drink and fuck, and maybe do meth if they can find it
your friend from a farming town informing you that most local girls in farming towns are absolute drunken skanks
remembering your last year in college in which you briefly considered moving to a small town, starting your own farm, and spending your time gathering mushrooms in the woods and wooing local girls
playing Harvest Moon in a marching band with Tim Duncan
really stretching that one
needing an analgesic for your anal g string
playing Mr Too Shaven
playing a short Venom
playing Smooth Raven
playing Shove Matron
playing Servant Homo
playing Motor Shaven
playing Harvest Moon in a marching band
playing Hormone Vats
playing Homo Taverns
playing Harvest Moon
wanting to discover a breed of cat so that you can name it Elon
breast restriction is tyranny
urinating in your comatose wife's Elon Musk
urination, in MY IVchan!
urinating in your comatose wife's V MASK
urinating in your cosmonaut wife's Saturn V stage
the V MSSK
that's a thing, right
urinating in your comatose wife's V MSSK
urinating in your comatose wife's IV bag
Frederic Bourdin
bra thievery is counter revolutionary
bra thieves in the commune going unpunished by the worker's council
being touched by an acute angle
baking Heinous Anus cookies
Half Chinease Long Hair and The Skin of a Hotkid
eating Heinous Anus cookies
knowing you didn't eat properly because you're craving noodles
having the theme of Pingu stuck in your head during a long, fitful sleep in a moving vehicle
Long Chinese Hair and The Skin of a Hotdog
Hulk Hogan's skin
I'm sorry I missed you I mean I'm sorry I miss you
strong bad email twenty two
The Christian family band that brawled with police in an Arizona Walmart parking lot were not slowed down by repeated hits from Tasers, pepper spray and batons, newly released dashcam video shows
Sandy Urethra, Jedi Knight
Darth Urethra
Sand Evader, Jedi Knight
Dare Evader, Jedi Knight
evading dares with Darth Vader
the Urethra Book
the Urantia Book
The Kraken Wanks
your son gleefully jacking off Jackie Gleason
digitally replacing ET in ET the Extra Terrestrial with Denholm Elliott
rogering Roger Moore more
having impure sex with a teenage girl who looked a lot like Winona Rider
nine and a half years
investigating Sylvester Stallone alone
being hit on by a girl who looked a lot like nnnngggg dnnnnnn it hurts
folks, you know what folks, you know what folks, you know what folks, you know what folks, you know what
having sex with a girl who looked somewhat like Christina Ricci
engaging in revolt together with John Travolta
flagging fannies with Fannie Flagg
Large Fanny Collider
Large Hadron Collider proton beam reaches new record energy
Fanny Chmelar
bottoming for Orlando Rage in Blimps Goin' Down VII
The Big Game at the End of the Season
Phelps eye for the gay guy
fat gay Asian eye for the straight guy
pinkeye for the straight guy
redeye for the straight guy
flying any airline whose slogan is "Go on, put your hands around it"
flying Air Twinks
sass cancer
air twinks
water twinks
moon bears
acne scars
ass cancer
eating too much and turning into a poo shaped covering of skin I will SET YOUR SPIRIT FREE
getting honk a lonked at by idiots
eating too much and turning into a poo shaped covering of skin
I will SET YOUR SPIRIT FREE
getting honked at by idiots
being a tiny pony
finding a really great yogurt but worrying that you'll end up eating too much and turning into a poo shaped covering of skin
Alyssa Milano shit blasted by Heathrow security for breast milk possession
earth bears
eating a literal prostitute
being a little hoarse
Alyssa Milano blasts Heathrow security with breast milk
Alyssa Milano blasts Heathrow security for breast milk confiscation
a "sugarcoated fellatio fest"
water bears
being a literal prostitute
using paramagnetic nanoparticles to detect changes in blood volume in the brain's capillaries
swansplaining
manstration
Never Mind the Klootzak, Here's the Sekspistolen
mansplaining
Ik zou liever niet
Jij hebt seks met ezels
the obsession your phone has with royalty and the Netherlands, apparently, klootzak
the obsession your phone has with royalty and the Netherlands, apparently
penis fudge
penis nudge
penis gun
penis nug
Penis Ng
Moobeard the Cow Pirate
pengins
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Dave Gruber Allen and an Emperor pengin
arab kneed ladies
ark beaned ladies
bare naked ladies, eh
Dumbo, Dumbo, Dumbo
twixt naked ladies
twink naked ladies
bare naked ladies
ldo, ldo, ldo
imho, imho, imho
lmbo, lmbo, lmbo
limbo, limbo, limbo
peaches and cream
his dream
becoming so caught up in the mad vagina twats dash that you forget all about the boobs teats
anti pun sentiment
that dialing with flippers is that much more difficult when drunk
wondering how may three am drunk dials Kento gets from various marine mammals
vagina twats are the best kind
hog tracer gag
the Aggro Crag
getting aroused at the thought of some ashes spread on a garden outside a convalescent home
margaretthatcherisllO%SEXY
introducing Braden Peniston to Sambo Chuppers
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her Satan wig vats
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina twats
braiding penises with Braden Peniston
Spencean Philanthropists
holding hands with Hans Holzer
being in a bed with other legendary creatures
holy twat dash
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks Teabagging Raymond Burr
real fine lady
lovely lady
beautiful lady
who's that lady
ordering albacore but being brought bear cola instead and saying nothing when the family of twinks at the next table attacked the waitress
ordering albacore but being brought bear cola instead and saying nothing when the family of bears at the next table attacked the waitress
gander danger tv halo gig, eh
gander danger
exclusively listening to albacore
the madness in my head the whole night through
then he would sob 'sand lovers' inaudibly over and over until the scene ended
When asked to cry on camera, he would say, 'I killed them, I killed them all, they're dead, every single one of them, and not just the men, but the women and the children, too, they're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals, I HATE THEM!'
When asked to cry on camera, he would say, 'white guy inches, eh'
preforming oral sex
while orally servicing her boss in a parked car at a local park, a secretary bit off the man's penis when the vehicle they were in was struck by a van
A punishment weapon used on small children
When one preforming oral sex on a male bites down and pulls away
this long handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral zoo keeper
this long handled gardening tool can also meat an immoral pleasure seeker
this long handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker
Rapper Vanilla Ice in plea deal over Florida theft charge colon lawyer
When asked to cry on camera, he would say, 'Sure thing, which eye'
braiding Yu Wang with Myke Hawke
braiding your penis with Myke Hawke
trying not to get hung up on Myke Hawke
ever wondering why those days exist when life just seems to be a conspiracy against you, not knowing where the answers lie, but trying not to get hung up on Myke Hawke
ever wondering why those days exist when life just seems to be a conspiracy against you, not knowing where the answers lie, but trying not to get hung up on the questions
god only knows that they've tried
wishing the Wallflowers had good songs other than those two
Operation Lobster
Arrogance, a cold penetrating stare, and rigid posture
Fidgeting, whistling, sweaty palms
that night in Uncle Istvan's hot tub
being in sand with other legendary creatures
drawing a picture of Kento being Urza's Towered by Ambassador Laquatus and a brushwagg
Fat Gay Asian doesn't untap as long as it has at least one Eiffel Towering counter on it, no matter how hard it tries
baling hay in Christiansborg with Cyborg Christian Bale
Fat Gay Asian enters the battlefield tapped with two Eiffel Towering counters on it
being in UTwo
thinking you were in a band with legendary creatures but actually being in UTwo
being in a band with Bono
being in a band with other legendary creatures
Sandstone Needle enters the battlefield tapped with two depletion counters on it
You may choose not to untap Sand Squid during your untap step
Red legendary creatures you control have "bands with other legendary creatures"
Mountain Valley enters the battlefield tapped
Madblind Mountain enters the battlefield tapped
toccando le vostre montagne
or your mountains, even
tapping your montains
In the mountains, with a dog
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by St Bernard and a St Bernard
if it knows what's good for it
it says nothing about you melting a St Bernard
Rear Admiral Chiraneau
momentarily bottoming for Christian Bale in Incompatibality VII before calling the whole thing off
I didn't even notice that one, what does that say about me
melting a St Bernard
Incompatibalitey
bottoming for a seemingly endless parade of unlikely celebrities and frankly incompatibale animals in Zoorapa VII
Utwo song "Zooropa"
par un chemin different
Vorsprung durch Technik
Fahrvergnugen
'Gadzooks,' quoth I, 'but here's a saucy bawd!'
Naked Came the Manatee
Kim Kardashian comes to Armenia
that's disgusting
milting a St Bernard
ex ex gay buying Don McLean's 'American Pie' manuscript
Eldest Worm Boy's Will Friedle providing the voice of LionO
Chris Lydon's conspiracy to blame the Boston Marathon bombing on a patsy working perfectly
milking a St Bernard
Transgressing the Boundaries Colon Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity
bi buying Don McLean's 'American Pie' manuscript
the Tom Cruiseiverse
the new yorkers paradise, I'm walkin' here
the rose of the proletariat
misplacing his marbles
the work of dwarfs
the new monkees paradise
the new workers paradise
the rise of the proletariat
losing his trust
fissures
stun guns
the work of men
too much
anemic Iceman cinema
really hoping that two or more individuals clubbed together to bi buy Don McLean's 'American Pie' manuscript
guessing Top Gun II would have bridged the gap between Days of Thunder and Top Gun by revealing that Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Cole Trickle had the same father, an itinerant sports car salesman played by Tom Cruise in flashbacks
now suspecting that all characters Tom Cruise has ever played are actually the same individual in one continuity
coining 'veteranal', a word pertaining to or of veterans and patterned after artisanal
racing veterans
a nod to veteran racer Dick Trickle
now wondering if Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Cole Trickls are actually the same guy
the Tony Scottverse
basically underneath it all feeling guilty about what we do here
I Have Anuse and Cram in Most
I Have No Anuse and I Must Scram
dreaming that there were ten more ghost regrets overnight, and another recently commented one that was just drunk rambling about how we'd ruined the site and couldn't even spell or do grammar good, ironically horribly misspelled itself
knowing that the X Men have crossed over with basically everything but not knowing Guns n Roses had crossed over with the Tony Scottverse
Don McLean must really be desperate for cash if he's started selling his trove of X Men slash Top Gun erotic fanfiction
Don McLean's 'Iceman Rape I' manuscript sells for $one point two million
Don McLean's 'American Pie' manuscript sells for $one point two million
I Shave No Anus and I Must Cream
Vet Foe, kroner
Kento, forever
I Have No Anus and I Must Scream
If you want a vision of the future, imagine a machine that exists solely to threeD print sexually dominant pairs of partners for Kento, forever
also strangely arousing
that was disappointing
CarbonThreeD's Super Fast ThreeD Printer Printing an Eiffel Tower
crazy cat lady syndrome
smothering all that belched stout
Teen with HUGEST dump smothers belched stout
Teen with HUGE dong smothers belched stout
Teen with HUGE dog smothers belched stout
Teen with HUGE kid smothers belched stout
ass smothering videos, page one
Teen with HUGE butt cheeks smothers dildo
Mistress shows off her fat bouncy ass cheeks before sitting it on a pathetic mans face for smothering
Big ass beauty smothers her man wonderfully
being kind of surprised the Smothers Buttocks isn't an actual porno
the Smothers Buttocks
A penis covered in Danish remoulade
A penis covered in mustard must be for real cause now I can feel
A penis covered in mustard
must be for real cause now I can feel
A striptease with chocolate
A woman covered in custard
must be your skin that I'm sinking in
Myke Hawke's Mothers
head shots
drawing a picture of Myke Hawke riding my two mothers
body shots
pitching "My Two Mothers" as a Myke Hawke vehicle
yes it does
Dick Smothers
learning about gay people via the Smothers Brothers
learning about gay people via Smithers
having the power touch
licorice whip
cracking that whip
daring to dip tubes
daring to be stupid
Pokemon Bear and Twink
Pokemon BJ and the Bear
Pokemon Greg Evigan and Paul Reiser
drawing a picture of Go Ikeda being fisted by Greg Evigan and Paul Reiser
you've got the power
you've got the touch
Stalin vs Martians
wankin' nine to five
the death of Gertrude Weaver
Bruce Jenner's look fuels breast implant rumours
What you say is what you are, you're a naked movie star
one child identified actor Chuck Norris as one of the abusers and was later found roundhouse kicked to death
a final version omitted the five hour altar anal rape
the MuckFarting Peeschool trial
the McMartin preschool trial
wondering if Dick Cavett is going to sue us in England for making defamatory statements about his anal hygiene
the dicks are clean
wondering if Dick Cavett is going to sue us in England for making defamatory statements about his oral hygiene
easing your dick into Dick Cavett's cavities
dick, he would be very grumpy
dick, I would be very pissed off
If Master Obi Wan had knowledge that we had a picture of his dick, he would be very grumpy
If I had knowledge that the US government had a picture of my dick, I would be very pissed off
Edward Snowden being so dreamy
taking the most harrowing dump
Murder, She Ra
having a truly terrifying poop experience
Glaucoma Sword
Raging Walrus
in my country, walrus live under YOUR law
wondering who would play Meryl Streep in a biopic about her awalrapy
Sir Deimos
Sir Phobos
living under J law
living under walrus law
sur law
opa kak
esio trot
he claims Dougal
Gladiola Cums, Eh
Medical Goulash
Glaucoma Shield
acio bum
Michael Douglas
wondering who would play Meryl Streep in a biopic about her
awalrapy
raping walrusses
Raping Walrus shits from California
raping walrus
Vaping Walrus ships from California
vaping walrus
Paskekrim
Kento's FOURTH slot
Kento's third slot
I only have two, but I use a Ditto for the third slot
having three Kentos but not being able to train them to do anything except Eiffel Tower each other
Kento has three separate evolutions depending on whether the fat stone, gay stone, or Asian stone is used on him
Kento evolves into Fatter at level one
Avid Rand Come declares colon 'Britain is scallion tryst, hair tunic'
being a horny satiric cunt by proxy, cheerio
being a horny satiric cunt by proxy
David Cameron declares colon 'Easter is this weekend, my son is still dead, he was a cripple, I understand what it is like to be near cripples'
I know you don't like David Cameron, but you have to admit he's right about that one
David Cameron declares colon 'Britain is still a horny satiric cunt'
David Cameron declares colon 'Britain is still a Christian country'
Less Than xor Equal to Jake
Less Than or Equal to Jake
giving Kento all those rare candies and he didn't level up, he just got fatter
bottoming for Terrance James White, Sr and Greg Evigan in Double BJ Bears VII
Born as Terrance James White, Sr in Ohio, he moved to Los Angeles in his twenties and has started a career in the stunt business, when doubling Greg Evigan in the television series BJ and the Bear
rabbit stampede
having sex with a girl who sucked on her left one until she looked a lot like Christina Ricci
well the wife said just because i didnt put my stuff up and she ate it that it is my fault and i go before the pig
he had a check for the full amount hand delivered to the IRS this morning
All the flat tittie chicks think I am disgusting
Myke Hawke would have to fight women, men, the elderly, children, the sick and even animals
the very idea of Myke Hawke taking on a whole town
getting the regret "wondering who would win in a fight between Myke Hawke and Mainus" and thinking "go fuck yourself"
Woman accused of stealing dog, selling him for drug money
guessing that if Mainus can stay relaxed, Myke Hawke will have an uphill battle, but if Myke Hawke can keep a cool head and get inside Mainus's guard, Mainus won't stand a chance
wondering who would win in a fight between Myke Hawke and Mainus
meeting world
the Rabbit Woman of Gowanus
not finding Topanga particularly arousing
always being kind of relieved when a past regret is dredged up and it isn't one of yours
regret number five four five one two
Trofim Denisovich Lysenko
Surfing wesbites
having pangs for banging Topanga
having pangs for Tobanga
you would also still bang Topanga given the chance
also learning that New York City public middle schools seem to have roughly ten students per class, apparently
so you've got that going for you
watching the first two episodes of Eldest Worm Girl on a transatlantic flight, and feeling that you have definitely aged better than Ben Savage
wishing Myke Hawke would get off and stop bothering you
John Wyndham Parkes Lucas Beynon Harris Geldof
sucking fruity booty
sucking her joyous, celebratory or purposeful one until she was feeling spent, used and broken
sucking her hardboiled cockney one until she was paid in kroner
Kento's fruity booty
Kento's fruiting body
marmelizing all those oranges
priorities
your phone being able to suggest autocompletions of Academy Award winning movie titles and the names of A list celebrities but not 'sucking' or other potentially mildly rude words
sucking her sweet but chaotic one until she wasn't sure whether she was alive or dead
parenthetical, tho' near or far
parenthetical, that's what you are
The Kurious Kans of Kento Ikeda
sucking her beloved and reliable one until she forgot how to break
Myke Hawke is a huge fan of Rusty Kuntz
cumming hard in the taint
being a total carsucker
I vant to suck your car, bleh
having a bread lined rabbit tomb
your car is buried in a rabbit
going tombe dans le pain
going hard in the taint
going hard in the pants
It was by far the slickest ride I've ever took in the Gentlemen's Pleasure Garden!
going hard in the paint
bottoming for Chow Yun Fat in Chewing the Fat Gay Asian VII
wanting to make Kento a gordian knot for his birthday, signed, Chris Lydon
chewing the fat with Chow Yun Fat
wanting to make Kento a sardine knot for his birthday
Rat's Cocks Into Darkness
bottoming for Rich Penis in Star Trek Sardine Knots
that apparently Chris Pine once lived in Leeds and can do a local accent, which you have automatically imagined to be a Batley accent because you hope one day he will subject the world's moviegoers to it
wondering if Chris Pine knows his name anagrams to "nicer hips," "rip inches," and "rich penis"
drawing a picture of Kento being Kobyashi Maru'd by Chris Pine and William Shatner
drawing a picture of Kento being Bussard ramscooped by Geordie and Scottie
taking it pretty hard in the Boston aquarium
taking it pretty hard when Myke Hawke is around
taking it pretty hard when Myke Hawke isn't around
The Silence of the Cans
wondering how Roger Ramjet has avoided a reboot for so long
Rusty Kuntz still pointing Royals in the right direction
Myke Hawke has been feeling pretty wrung out lately
a case of spring fever
milking Myke Hawke for everything he has
Myke Hawke never does anything half assed
laying in clean penis between fresh buttocks after a long shower
that the older you get, the more you appreciate being freshly clean, wearing freshly clean clothes, and having freshly clean bedding
running a pillow surplus
you're a million miles away, or you're here
listening to your tinnitus
laying in clean pajamas between fresh bedclothes after a long shower
the curiously silent cans of Benjamin Buttocks
feeling like the best of Myke Hawke has already come and gone
the curiously silent nights of a four day weekend
that when you first encountered Myke Hawke you didn't think he was going to fit in, but since then he's really grown on you
a little bit of Myke Hawke goes a long way
being willing to admit that we have stretched Myke Hawke pretty far here
being kind of tired of Myke Hawke but willing to see where it goes
wondering if you're really tired of Myke Hawke or if it was just a part of the joke
he says "uh oh, I love you, but I'm not sure I trust you, you seem strange to me"
not being able to contol when the movies begin and end in your mouth
not being able to contol when the movies begin and end
in your mouth
it seems like you've been waiting forever for Myke Hawke to finish
at first Myke Hawke was enjoyable but now he's just a pain in the ass
Myke Hawke always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong
being slain by a Lawful Evil Janice Dickinson
Lawful Evil Janice Dickinson
feeling smothered by Myke Hawke
sometimes wanting to grab Myke Hawke because he's so in your face
putting Myke Hawke in a dark hole and making him do push ups until he throws up
Myke Hawke has had enough of you, too
Myke Hawke should be given a rest
having had enough of Myke Hawke
Myke Hawke should not be used in the context of the letter
My name should not be used in the context of the letter
not paying the Lake Erie ferryman, not even fixing a price
Eerie Penis Levy Hoosiers
LE Janice Dickinson
THE Janice Dickinson
MS EERY PENIS LEVY
MYKE HAWKE SEVERELY
MY PENIS SEVERELY
Spaetzle
Farfetch'd is a Pokemon rapscallion
If I knowingly convert my sworn brother's cash or property to my own use I shall be killed by five thunderbolts
the idea of someone having sex with a spring onion is pretty farfetch'd
having non consensual sex with a spring chicken
high explosive double hockey sticks
double hockey sticks, eh
H E double hockey sticks
HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY
THE Bruce Dickinson
eating a huge slice of Colon Gay Pizza
Indiana pizzeria owner Colon Gays are OK, but I won't cater their weddings
being too sleepy to remember Elton John lyrics properly
it's the wheel of fortune, oh whoa, Nikita you'll never know
Bicoid Babe pushes bottles up French guy's rear
French push bottles up German rear
not trimming your Furfrou
leaving waffles on the Falkland Islands
bottoming for Arid Rod in Sand in Your Panties VII, eh
Comic Sans has no place at an agency positioning itself as a technological pioneer
having non consensual sex with a spring onion
spooning Jewel's smog falsies
actually becoming ectothermic on listening to Centerfold
topping for Arid Rod in Getting the Dry Hump VII
my memories have just been sold
actually crying a little now upon listening to Falsie Smog Ho
Hayden Christensen's debut single really is that painful
actually crying a little now upon listening to Floss Amigo, eh
you're always crazy like that
actually crying a little now upon listening to Foolish Games
slamming your cock in the arid rod
turtling Myke Hawke
Myke Hawke is small, I know, but he's not yours, he is my own
it's getting cold and I'm starting to sneeze
medic, we need a medic over here
this is Myke Hawke 'bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
I got my eggs, I got my pancakes too, I got maple syrup, everything but you
this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
my hands are small, I know, but they're not yours, they are my own
hiding Go Ikeda to protect him
turtling Go Ikeda
turtling
being crowned Mrs Cunt Appeal with seventeen votes
the chemtrails of Joni Mitchell
not hooking up with Ms Cunt Appeal after she got married, yet
not hooking up with Ms Cunt Appeal before she got married
Mrs Cunt Appeal
Rape Plant Cums
Rape Planet Cums
Placenta's Rump
Pleasant Crump
Old Tom Parr
the death of Misao Okawa
Myke Hawke Mitzvahs, for Myke Hawke
Bat Mitzvahs, for bats
still using Chrome
wondering whether you use firefox, and, if so, whether the most recent update has made it impossible for you to watch youtube videos
always being Australian inside me, crikey
Bark Mitzvahs
always being Australian beside me, crikey
the death of Joni Mitchell
Ejaculation Atlas Geldof
wondering if the Jack in Jack Atlas is short for Ejaculation
baby I'm a want you
pep to manure
mute propane
tampon puree
the one hundred and twenty sixth anniversary of the opening of the Eiffel Tower
not being able to say that via telepathy
not being able to say 'that' on television
amputee porn
not being able to say that on television
Open Parentheses Slash Geldof
parenthetical commas
open parentheses dicks and Slash close parentheses or dongs
dicks and open parentheses Slash or dongs close parentheses
dicks and Slash or dongs
dicks and or dongs
Myke Hawke
arrrrr
rrrr
puberrulence
puberty
the curious cans of the fat gay asian in the Boston aquarium
Dendrogramma
the curious incident of the fat gay asian in the Boston aquarium
an incidence of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a hundred walruses
one hundred incidences of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
it's only happened eighty three times, and only twenty nine of them were pictures
A website that largely consists of the words "drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus" repeated eight hundred and sixty three times
becoming addicted to mixed vegetable juice
A paper that largely consists of the words "Get me off your fucking mailing list" repeated eight hundred and sixty three times
filling up on Salisbury steak
climbing up on Solsbury steak
Solsbury steak
Salisbury steak
design sex with Roman Polanski
signed sex with Roman Polanski
making the sand pie port
making the ants nest
making the panties drop
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Ruined EVERYTHING IV
typoing "I've" would be fine
sex with YOU would be fine
typoing "I've"
I'v ruined EVERYTHING
you've got me, this whole house of cards has finally collapsed
who am I kidding
people do silly things when they're aroused
wondering why someone would flee across international boners only to give or receive analingus
being so physically attractive and horny that you have to flee across international boners with only the penises you can carry and seek analingus in another country
being pretty sure where you fall down on dates is entering that trancelike state of anticipation, but that if you could just get around to yelling "PUSSY" and om nom nomming everything would be fine
sex with YOU
signed, Roman Polanski
sex with you
being so physically unattractive and nerdy that you have to flee across international borders with only the possessions you can carry and seek asylum in another country
having unfulfilled Pussy Monster like urges to eat cookies
just never being able to believe someone could ever have dinosaur sex with you
shooting day for night, what a way to make a living
having unfulfilled Cookie Monster like urges to perform oral sex
that one creaky fucking door
trying me
the wind whistling around in the walls of your home
just never being able to believe someone could find you attractive
kinda having to live like a refugee, tho
sometimes being like "ugh I'm way too ugly to be as nerdy as I am"
shooting day for night
slut shaming your horse
not naming your horse
eating up Martha
THE TWILIGHT ZONE IS THE OTHER SHOW
THE STORIES SOMETIMES HAVE OBVIOUS TWISTS
WE'RE SORRY ABOUT SOME OF THE ACTING
IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR TELEVISION
five years I've been doing that joke
drawing a picture of Brent Spiner simultaneously masturbating simultaneously
you don't have to live like a refugee
Dr Crab Husk Oink
Bob Wheeler
Dr Brackish Okun
drawing a picture of Brent Spiner simultaneously masturbating Data, Lore, Bfour, Noonien Soong, Arik Soong, Frank Hollander, Eli Hollander, Annie Meyers, and numerous holograms of Data simultaneously, because he's just that talented
begun the DATA Wanc has
just now realising you've had the New Radicals and the Boo Radleys mixed up in your head as the same band for like twenty years
begun the Lore Wanc has
when you're doing anagrams in your head and an extra letter creeps in, Loser Wanc
your blood runs hot, it's the curse of priapism
your blood runs cold
phoning in ego sex with Fantaraptor
when you're doing anagrams in your head and an extra letter creeps in
Kappanese, pou fou
Japakids
Japadogs, desu neh
mouse dildos
begun the Loser Wanc has
begun the Colon War has
begun the Clone Sex Debate has
begun the Clone War has
this arranged can be
not biting Bill Cosby's penis to avoid being orally raped
giant sucking sounds
Gyarados Kingler Pikachu
Japadogs
what I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you
Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou
The best laid dildos o' mice and men gang aft aglye
drawing a picture of Myke Hawke in an adult diaper sucking Danish remoulade out of Twin Long Rods #Two's left one until it had an icy bridgegasm
Moby posing in adult diapers in Japan
supersizing phone sex with Myke Hawke
fantasizing about phone sex with Myke Hawke in adult diapers
Adult diapers are outselling infant diapers in Japan, desu ne
fantasizing about phone sex with Myke Hawke
Adult diapers are outsmelling infant diapers in Japan
Adult diapers are outselling infant diapers in Japan
I have been the dildos that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast, Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold
I have eaten the dildos that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast, Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold
I was dildoing when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astrya
constantly Bombadiling
constantly Bilboing
sorry about that typo, I was dildoing when I wrote it
constantyl dildoing
constantly vibing
intermittently vibrating
not constantly vibrating
constantly vibrating
Tod Uphill
I'm pretty sure I'm not
you're gay
fantasizing about phone sex with Egoraptor
wondering if we can ever truly know another person or even know ourselves, and by extension whether we could truly recognise the similarities between ourselves and otherwise identical clones or versions of ourselves
that we never fully resolved the identity of Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
that we never fully resolved the whole clone vs future self fucking conundrum
finding that you enjoy being around people who are quite dissimilar to yourself, so guessing that you would probably hate yourself
sometimes wondering what it is really like to be around yourself, like as a total stranger would you feel that you were an asshole, or are you constantly vibrating and nobody wants to mention it, or things like that
a crazed erotic grits loch
racial crotch zest
Zachor Clitcaster
chic zone trim
zinc chromite
wondering what it was like for Winston Churchill's close friends to have to watch him get stinking drunk every time he went to a party just so he would have a chance to use that line
disinterring Benjamin Franklin's corspe and electrocuting the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated young keys
wondering what it was like to be around well quoted people from history like Benjamin Franklin or Oscar Wilde, like were they always on and coming up with new material or would you just hear variations on "we should hang together" or whatever constantly
Jay sees a half naked and bloodied woman walking toward her, urinating pleasing date seekers
urinating
Jay sees a half naked and bloodied woman walking toward her, urinating
pleasing date seekers
seeking pleasure daters
dating pleasure seekers
dating zookeepers
dated mall cops
dating mall cops
that we don't have to replace kids with dogs and dogs with kids in regrets, we can just cuddle if you want
a maniac, maniac at your door
sphexual harassment
being a maniac on the floor
sphexishness
wondering if you and I have reached the point where we don't have to actually copy paste the earlier regret and replace the dogs with kids, and we can just kind of assume that when one of us writes a regret with a dog or a kid in it, the other one sees it
The Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire, And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire
the Hundred Years' Cunnilingus
smoke on the water
wondering which will come first, the Blow Job Singularity or the Hand Job Robot Uprising
if we do not blow together, we shall surely blow separately
BJUnity
he simply must have it with him
Bono's cap dong
Pa Doc's ting
it's cap dong
dog tip cans
dingo pacts
dating cops
Evangelist Bob Jones III apologizes for saying that gays should be stoned
scoping dat
Pat's coding
taping docs
dang topics
doping cats
Chris Lydon's spermatophores
casting pod
beaked behinds
telling me that I'm someone good
fay gay hosers, eh
fat gay Hoosiers
buccal asses
Shoebury
regrets without boundaries
buccal masses
podcasters within Kento
sex without boundaries
eerie Hoosiers
Gay Search
gay Hoosiers
doctors without Kento
sex without borders
sex without hats
WilliamsDiaries
guessing that Zayn Malik has been driven the wrong way down that one way street more than a few times
Zayn Malik on quitting Two Direction Colon 'I just can't do that anymore'
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon and a walrus high fiving over their braided penises
Kento without Kento
sex without Kento
ruffianlikes
roguelikes
sex with Kento
Zayn Malik on quitting One Direction Colon 'I just can't do that anymore'
The Old Man and the Showers at Penn State
The Old Man and the Hot Tub
Kento's gay pita rub, ooh
Kento's orgy utopia, bah
Kento's autobiography
The Old Man and the Semen
The Old Man and the Seaplane
the death of Christina Ricci
the Sea of Sluts
Slutsea is full of swans HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
Goosea
Swansea is full of sluts look you
Students are involved in everything from prostitution and escorting to stripping and internet work, the Student Sex Work Project report found
constructing an electric sheep solely for the purpose of having sex with Kento
Cybersex Web
making an animate gif of Kento being Tannhauser Gated by Neo and an electric sheep
Cybersex Spirit
Cyberspace Spirit
for added realism you could have an old man with an earring Walken with your feet ten feet off of Beale
for added realism you could have an old man with an earring
Walken with your feet ten feet off of Beale
for added realism you could have an old man with an earring crash a light aircraft nearby, leap out of his escape fridge and insist that you never tell him the odds
that roughly throwing some sticks on your bed and jumping in is probably the same
that you will probably die without banging Calista Flockhart even once
NFL to Hire B Todd Jones, ATF Director, as Disciplinary Officer
Germanwangs
Warmginseng
Germanwings
intercourse netting with a fine denier less than one hundred may not contain warm feelings
baby, baby, when I look at you, I get a warm feeling inside intercourse netting
baby, baby, when I look at you, I get a warm feeling inside
intercourse netting
sex web
Final Clucking Take
Will Smith will never want to run a couple co projects with us now
we've become spambots
videos of gay animal sex nathan maung gay innocent emo pussy banana in a vagina lucy hernandez anal tickle fucking girls phone sex web
Anal Tickle Fucking
bottoming for Spruce Dickinson in Doorfuckers VII
a high ranking ATF employee "solicited consensual sex with anonymous partners and modified a hotel room door to facilitate sexual play"
what Myke Hawke thinks about while he masturbates
using the imagined story to claim that atheists would not find rape or murder immoral
what Phil Robertson thinks about while he masturbates
manly men
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who regularly create elaborate sexual scenarios involving a socially retarded man they know only through the internet being violated in different ways by elderly men and marine mammals
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who have regular conversations about Myke Hawke
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who have regular conversations about gay sex, gay pornography, and braiding their penises together
a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who have sex with men
having a ritual wherein you convince yourself you're going to fail at something before you even try it
Japan Airlines Flight one twenty three
try short beer, eh
sherbert theory
queefing Fisto's milk at a Darth convention
they're brothers
Darth Vegan Voiced by Edgar "Screw" Hertz
Darth Carnage Voiced by Drew "Vegs" Hertz
squirting squid's milk directly down your throat at a PETA convention
fruit fly season, no homo
squirting Sylvia Browne sauce directly down your throat
fruit fly season
taking a dump that smells like lembas bread
Darth Vader Voiced by Schwartzenegger
licking Go's brown sauce off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
squirting Go's brown sauce directly down your throat
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew
squirting Daddies brown sauce directly down your throat
Tree sitter protesting new golf course falls onto ground
wanting to make Kento a loose meat sandwich for his birthday
sticking 'em in a stew
mashing 'em
boiling 'em
not having taken a dump that smells like the burning fires of Mordor since you stopped eating hobbit pork
This image provided by Taco Bell shows an ad shows the restaurant chain's new chicken "bi cat coitus"
This image provided by Taco Bell shows an ad shows the restaurant chain's new chicken "biscuit taco"
not having taken a dump that smells like burning tires since you stopped eating pork
taking a dump that smells like burning tires
always thinking of Kento as your Christopher Tolkien fat gay Asian friend
still not having learned to check that you're entering something into the search field rather than the regret field
joyous, celebratory
holding your boobs when you run down Chris Lydon's erect penis
Christopher Walken and Christopher Tolkien
Fat Gay Eastasia
Actress Angelina Jolie has always been at war with Eastasia
Actress Angelina Jolie has had a penis and testicles attached as a preventative measure against cancer
conceiving Taylor Swift
Gob, yo
Boy Go
Gooby
The Amazing Bulk
Christopher Walken Tall
Christopher Walken on the wild side
Puppy Elephant Christopher Walken
Baby Elephant Christopher Walken
hurting 'em, Hammer
Christopher Walken on guilded splinters
Christopher Walken the kid
Christopher Walken the dog
Christopher Walken in space like on Futurama due to a drunk hookup
Christopher Walken in space
like on Futurama
due to a drunk hookup
partying like it's nineteen eighty nine and conceiving Taylor Swift due to a drunk hookup
taylorswift dot porn
wondering if Angelina Jolie will be the world's first head in a jar, like on Futurama
Actress Angelina Jolie has had her arms and legs removed as a preventative measure against cancer
Actress Angelina Jolie has had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed as a preventative measure against cancer
deaf nit!
fainted!
superb bird of paradise
Cantor's giant softshell turtle
there's a part of you that's free
Fistopher Grace
Fistopher Lydon
Christopher Walken before you can run
first bid
BICOID BABE used BIRD FIST! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE! GO IKEDA fainted!
bird fist
fit birds
she had a thing for birds of all kinds
always linking Bicoid Babe with the emergence of kakapos on the amazing Regret Index when in fact if you recall correctly she was more interested in chukar patridges
that for all you know Bicoid Babe is the Racist British Regretter
Christopher Walken out in traffic
Christopher Walken on Sunshine
Christopher Walken Pneumonia
missing Bicoid Babe and deeply hoping that she is the Lurking Third Regretter
saying a prayer over your vegan meal with Topher Grace
Mianus, the Hands of Fate
buying an electrolyte bath without checking the label first, only to find it had pennies in it
Christopher Walken like an Egyptian
Mianus Pond
Mianus Motor Works
in the emergency room having broken dildos surgically removed
from your anus
in the emergency room having broken dildos surgically removed from your anus
being Eiffel Towered by Bicoid Babe and a kakapo but ending up in the emergency room having broken dildos surgically removed from your anus
Thousands pay their respects to Chad Rigrink III
Christopher Walken Dead
Thousands pay their respects to King Richard III
Confucius say, many addicted to milk need his dairy fix
Christopher Walken in Memphis
your recent Eiffel Towerings leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful
buying a chocolate bar without checking the labia first, only to find it had penis in it
buying a chocolate bar without checking the label first, only to find it had penis in it
going to the emergency room with gopher trace in your ass after a date with Tad Hamilton
I'm not sure I'd tell you if I knew
going to the emergency room with Topher Grace in your ass after a date with Tad Hamilton
oh, also nine two one five nine
wondering if there are any regrets after nine two one four one that you didn't write, because the only one I wrote was nine two one five two
going to the emergency room with broken dildos in your ass after a date with Bicoid Babe
going to the emergency room with broken glass in your ass after a date with Christopher Lydon
going to the emergency room with broken glass in your ass after a date with Christopher Walken
granuloma annelidae
granuloma annulare
Christopher Walken it in San Diego
imagining Christopher Walken in the throes of orgasm
bottoming for Christopher Walken in Walken on Broken Ass VII
exclaiming "Christ!" over walkin' on broken glass with Christopher Walken
walkin' on broken glass, I'm walkin' here
walkin' on broken glass
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Having Nothing, I Mean Literally Absolutely Fucking Nothing, To Do But Were Afraid To Ask
A Midsummer Night's Rough Sex Comedy
Trannie Hall
Annie Hall II Colon Annie Haller
Annie Hall vs Predator
Woody Alien
RtwoDtwo you've found a cigarette!
I'm not chicken, you're a turkey!
maybe it converted
it's not Jewish then
Full Penis Jacket
Virginia Trioli dresses in the 'penis jacket' after Lisa Wilkinson urges TV hosts to wear it
i imgur com zerodOwbWp dot jpg
Twentieth Century Walrus Announces "Shared Woody"
Twentieth Century Fox Announces "Shared Universe" Woody
The film is notorious for an explicit scene of Lydon and a walrus, who are shown on either side of Kento as their penises are repeatedly fondled and masturbated by him
we goes together like peas and carrots
Twentieth Century Fox Announces "Shared Universe" Woody Allen Reboot Series
Shaggy God stories
De Niro looks like he's enjoying the scene a great deal
The film is notorious for an explicit scene of De Niro and Depardieu, who are shown on either side of an actress as their penises are briefly fondled and masturbated by her
a quite sweet, but chaotic, nutter who besides being very beautiful indeed spends most of her spare time dying
a quite nice, but mad, girl who besides being very beautiful indeed spends most of her spare time inventing things
eggy medals
my aged legs
edgy gleams
leggy dames
wanting to grab Joseph Gordon Levitt halfway through Fraggle Rock, slap him and yell "Stop it! You're not really Jim Henson! Stop doing that thing with your hand!"
Joseph Gordon Levitt to produce and star in Fraggle Rock remake
in the hammer time, when the weather is legit, u can't reach right and touch this
accepting all Norwegians
It was great but it went out of business
STOP! SUMMER TIME
Yo!! Sweetness
accepting all comers
Norwegians
fuckboi
STOP! HAMMER TIME
seeing cum in your cecum
Eh Meow Da Bears
I really should have stopped watching when the ape apparently ate his own cum
Eh Meow Da Geldof
Vegan Croque Madame Karate Monkey Masturbation Compilation Twentyfourteen Geldof
Vegan Croque Madame
Karate Monkey Masturbation Compilation Twentyfourteen
at least it wasn't walruses
I watched the whole thing
Funny Monkey Masturbation Compilation Twentyfourteen
Karate Monkey
I'm sure that all six people who were watching CSPAN at the time had a good laugh
The North Pole can't really be called the territory of any particular nation or people, eh, meow, da
At some point during the conversation, a couple of guys, who were up to no good, essentially started causing trouble in my neighbourhood
The North Pole can't really be called the territory of any particular nation or people
chicken rude and unreasonable
promising not to tell Roman Polanski
I step foot on English soil and Roman Polanski will have me in the poorhouse
going to Fowey next month and wondering if you want to meet up
bantams, eh
he's Batman
abashment
shame
having a prior engagement with your sister and brother in law this weekend
going to Garmisch this weekend and wondering if you want to meet up
Croque Madame
starting your day with a pooping hot Ruth English muffin
"It's a jungle," he said, "and I'll flay the big ass fish teats Wham!, eh"
starting your day with a piping hot Ruth English muffin
inserting Myke Hawke into your vagina during that time of the month
thynk how many people would gladly wear Myke Hawke antypersperant whylst ryding Myke Hawke bykes and chowing down on Myke Hawke meat stycks
eating the biggest fish in the jungle
wrapping Myke Hawke around your neck to keep warm
being the biggest fish in the jungle
WAP!
imagining Myke Hawke touching every part of your body, even parts you can't reach yourself
think how many people would gladly wear Myke Hawke
more than a decade later, WAP still translating to "WAP!" in your head instead of "wireless access protocol"
She sang superbly and then so lovingly handed me the evening on a platter, if you know what I'm saying
"It's a jungle," he said, "and the big fish always eat the small fish"
I wish I had me a poky swan
Bonerland
feeling iggy from lithium
guessing Myke Hawke just really likes knives
hey guys, remember WAP
I wish I had a monkey's WAP
I wish I had a monkey's paw
orange antipersperant
Issur Danielovitch
think how many people would gladly wear Myke Hawke antipersperant whilst riding Myke Hawke bikes and chowing down on Myke Hawke meat sticks
wondering why Myke Hawke hasn't branded his name to more products
Myke Hawke's meat snacks
Jack Link's vegan meat snacks
Jack Link's meat snacks
Hercules and Xena Hyphen The Animated Movie Colon The Battle for Mount Olympus
spooning Syria's boobs, Syriously
spooning SYRIA'S boobs
spooning Jordan's boobs
seriously, those things are disgusting
it would be harder to tell them apart
calling something that would never occur in nature Jordan would be quite fitting though
calling a sheep Jordan would just be confusing
wondering why a team of Scottish scientists chose to name their blasphemy against God and nature after an American country & western singer, like you don't have huge breasted women on your side of the pond
shearing Jewel's baabs
Jewel the sheep
nun's bra cling and crows bring carnage
clowns and burning cars bring carnage
John Rambo's mujahideen friends
buzkashi
yeah, but that guy still has his testicles
If a twenty year old whose legs have been blown away can sit on my ward for weeks and show nothing but dignity, it puts the loss of a testicle into perspective
"Dolly is derived from a mammary gland cell and we couldn't think of a more impressive pair of glands than Dolly Parton's
becoming so used to noise that silence startles you
Carthago delenda est
not practicing santeria
TRUST DECEIVED!
there's got to be something better than in the middle
having the dreamer's disease
I distinctly heard it, he muttered under his breath "jew"
Sunflora
Vileplume
Gloom
Oddish
Christina Ricci Charges
Benecoot Cumbercrash
Crash Bandicoot
Creditcard Charges
Cavalry Charges
Demolition Charges
Criminal Charges
Penn State Fraternity's Rat's Cocks Pee Booth Foe May Lead to Criminal Charges
Penn State Fraternity's Secret Facebook Photos May Lead to Criminal Charges
mega evolution
spending two hours driving around on an icy bridge trying not to crash
crashing is bad, m'kay
spending two hours driving around trying not to crash
Regret Index III Colon Regret HARDEST
Fnu Lnu
Luckily, Alfalfa was an orphan owned by the studio
the piglet cheerleaders were replaced by baby hedgehogs in tutus
Regret Index II Colon Regret Harder
rewriting Regret Index Colon the Movie as Two Jerk Guys
that you had a friend in college who got drunk on a date with you and told you she'd been Roman Polanski'd in her halls of residence the year before, so you never made a pass at her again and it drove you both crazy
Regret Index Colon The Movie has been in development hell for years
wishing that you had not learned "no means no" and instead learned "no means no except in the rare case when she wants to play hard to get then kick you in the balls when you don't pursue her"
then telling all of your mutual friends that you were gay
a girl inviting herself up to your room on your third date, initiating a make out session, then saying "no" when you started to go down her shirt, to which you shyly backed away, apologized, and asked her to go home, then not calling you back the next day
wondering if Ryan will ever sell the story rights of the amazing Regret Index
a girl breaking up with you because you hinder petard
verse vica, because it's kind of like it got moved around
liking the anagrams in which an apostraphe becomes a comma or vice versa, because it's kind of like it got moved around
a girl breaking up with you because you dared print, eh
Kento's radula
oral disc, eh
a girl breaking up with you because you didn't rep rhea
orca shield
social herd
cordials, eh
acrid holes
Hildoceras
a girl breaking up with you because you didn't rape her
teatacles
liking your tea like you like your sex, nonconsensual
when you're too lazy to copy and paste a single word and so you end up instead pasting something you have already pasted unconscious
saying "copy and paste" when you meant "write" because apparently you're literally retarded
when you're too lazy to copy and paste a single word and so you end up instead pasting something you have already pasted
unconscious
da arse is gone right out of er
da arse is gone right out of er, eh
finally he gets it
unconscious people don't want to be soddomized by an elderly film director and can't answer the question "do you want to be soddomized by an elderly film director" because they are unconscious
unconscious people don't want tea and can't answer the question "do you want tea" because they are unconscious
eating dinner at See Thru Chinese Pants in Chicago
Tight, See Through Pants
Myke Hawke my cock
ape hoarder a porter
it's for charity
that's gay
Mitt Romney to blow Evander Holyfield for charity
Mitt Romney to box Evander Holyfield for comedy
becoming a munition to wry sand regret, eh
banding on the bees
Poos! Kim Kardashian Accidentally Flashes Her Underwear in Tight, See Through Pants
becumming a grandmother in your twenties
landing on the lees
Kronk's Woven Gore
liking your Pokemon like you like your coffee, ground type
Kronk's New Groove
Oops! Kim Kardashian Accidentally Flashes Her Underwear in Tight, See Through Pants
landing on the spikes
becoming a grandmother in your twenties
Mitt Romney to box Evander Holyfield for charity
hauoy
Jim Okcidento
Sovaga Sovaga Okcidento, Jim West, esperanto malglataj rajdanto
misting Jewel's boobs
Jew mist
any damsel that's in distress be outta that dress when she meet Fred and Rosemary West
Jim West
having you piss uncluttered pooh
shaving nuts up your iced pothole
having no TED cut up your pisshole
having chiseled pot up your snout
having polished toes up your cunt
having testicles up your poon, duh
having octupled shit up your nose
having chipotle dust up your nose
UK Opposition Head Rules Out Pact With Scottish Nationalists, Fears Chinning
UK Opposition Head Rules Out Pact With Scottish Nationalists
it's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
the death of Mike Porcaro
this Giant Jenga of assumptions
the smell of candy making you horny
any damsel that's in distress be outta that dress when she meet Jim West
the sound of horny making you silent
the sound of silence making you horny
the smell of your nectarine mint hand lotion making you horny
the sycamore draining board of an old sink in Hatton Garden
spooning Jewel's ears
Jew's ears
Saturn's Moon Enchiladas May Have a Hot Spicy Sauce Under its Surface
Once Glass is activated, wearers can say an action, such as "Take a picture", "Record a video", "Hangout with person Google plus circle", "Google 'What year was Wikipedia founded'", "Give me directions to the Eiffel Tower", and "Send a message to John"
Saturn's Moon Enceladus May Have a Hot Ocean Under its Surface
der Berliner Fernsehturm
subletting Wales, cheerio
rhyming black with cock
when I woke up, the light faded to black, I knew I was lost, I got lost on Myke Hawke
when I woke up, the light faded to grey, I knew I was lost, I got lost on the way
juicing so many citrus fruits you got a blister on your finger, and then the blister was weakened by citric acid and then it was full of citric acid and then you juiced more citrus fruits
for beauty and perfume you'd stake your house and your lands
angel's butt wile
weasel tilts bung
blunt sewage slit
wingless bat lute
lesbian's gut welt
wet bestial lungs
witless blue gnat
seeing bull twats
nubile twat's legs
using tweet balls
legless tuba twin
awl lubing testes
bat suet swelling
ewe tits, gnu balls
eating swell bust
twin beagle sluts
legal swine butts
web slut genitals
subletting Wales
fingering gut limes
www dot crossbows dot net yolo
that despite having spent a full hour extracting the pith from a dozen limes you have to admit that doing the same with finger limes would be a far more regrettable task
sweating buttocks
gut fingering limes
sweating bullets
gutting finger limes
gutting limes
www dot crossbows dot net
down comes the night
letting the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy
using the word "tacoriffic"
wondering how much governments actually spend on PR in other countries
Ash was said to be "devastated"
the Kremlin was said to have sacked its American PR company, Ketchum
U and me kickin' it tight, tight!
seems you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me
you wanna go where people know our troubles are all the same
Zug Zug Spitze
putzes zig
wanking in the summertime when your angel is the centerfold
summering in Wank
that's really gay
to learn how to wave your dick and hope your dick is bigger than the other guy's
Transverse, eh
Shatnerverse
Star Trek Academy Colon Collision Course
it's not far from Fucking
it's near Wank
having been there
Zugspitze
it wasn't going to be gay for me
giving Montreal screw jobs
arranging to meet in French mens' rooms for anonymous gay sex is kind of gay
watching other guys jerk off and giving blow jobs is kind of gay
giving great lick jobs
giving terrible blow jobs
coming on like Mini Cobra
coming on like Tiny Tiger
coming on like Mr Troll Wedgies
coming on like Ms Wadded Noggin
coming on like Mr Whippy
cumming on like Mr Cool, no homo
coming on like Mr Cool
having impure thoughts about a twenty something oral sex, no homo
having impure thoughts about twenty something axolotls, no lizi
having impure thoughts about a twenty something Axl Rose, no homo
Myke Hawke attempting an unplanned splashdown on Uranus
Myke Hawke attempting an orbital insertion into Uranus and burning up on entry
crashing into Myke Hawke orbiting Uranus
crashing into Myke Hawke
orbiting Uranus
orbiting me
crashing into me
sprinking a hot waffle too fast because you need a shower and you don't want to be late, and consequently slamming your sweet but chaotic turtle in Mexico to no particular gain
drinking a hot drink too fast because you need a shower and you don't want to be late, but you already know you will be, so you're burning yourself to no particular gain
Pokemon Sex, Lies, and Videotape
Pokemon Regret Fraud and Dishonesty
Pokemon Chewing and Humping
not you, obviously
wondering where the STD thing came from
you haven't lived
Pokemon Kid and Dog
writing this regret from a friend's house about one foot from a dog who is simultaneously chewing on and humping a stuffed Pokemon
Friday mornings are a different story, though
I have never watched another man masturbate on a Saturday morning, nor have I ever gotten an STD, nor have I ever drawn a picture of Kento in any state whatsoever, let alone being simultaneously orally and anally violated by a elderly men and animals
also, it's funnier
in a general rather than a specific way
just kind of assuming that despite disabling the webcam on your laptop, people use it to spy on you
wondering why it is that you assume I'm not acting out all these song lyrics prior to entering them
wondering why it is that you assume that someone writing a regret automatically means that they have done that act
a girl or two might hit the cement, not an unfitting position for such a lesser part of humanity
a girl was only an honorary human being
the Clark Gable of cuddlers
ruminating on your keyboard
Doctors claim first successful penis transplant, watch recipient masturbate on Saturday morning
watching another man ruminate on a Saturday morning
getting evidence all over the desk and your hands accidentally
having Saturday morning masturbation and little else to convince people of your own sexual orientation, but in retrospect thinking it's kind of nice that someone is watching, since it is sort of like a chance to give evidence
the irony of being a sexless heterosexual criticising the sex lives and or claimed orientation of others
kind of hoping Putin has been killed by political rivals, just because you're bored of the guy's act
watching another man masturbate on a Saturday morning, the totally heterosexual ritual that precedes going to town on your hot girlfriend before writing gay porn regrets, no homo
watching an officer and a gentleman masturbate on a Saturday morning
watching Batman masturbate another man on a Saturday morning
you really shouldn't watch
watching Batman masturbate on a Saturday morning
watching another man masturbate on a Saturday morning
it's worn out, the walrus needed a new one
that's a lie, Kento has received a baculum thousands of times
New baculum recipient 'very excited' after South Africa performs world's first successful transplant
New penis recipient 'very excited' after South Africa performs world's first successful transplant
The patient accepted the penis as his own
Doctors claim first successful Putin transplant
a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife
Doctors claim first successful penis transplant
Putin's weeklong absence due to new love child colon report
A German biologist has learned the hard way that pubicly declared wagers are legally enforceable
your internet connection going down like a sedated thirteen year old in Jack Nicholson's hot tub
traumatic separations
their small town eyes will pika pika pikachu
A German biologist has learned the hard way that publicly declared wagers are legally enforceable
your internet connection going down like Kento at SeaWorld
GiannaDistenca hasn't tweeted yet
if a small ox ever got the chance he'd talk off you and everyone you ever cared about
vegan Linda McCartney has been dead for seveganteen years
having impure thoughts about a teenage Gianna Distenca
cunt taxes are ruining small ox sex hotline businesses
vegan Linda McCartney has been dead for seventeen years
it's got Paul Anka's guarantee
Linda McCartney has been dead for seventeen years
if a cow ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you cared about
buenos ding dong diddly dias, senor
bums are the most dangerous game
a trap set in the slums
getting your scrotum tangled in a fan of your work
a resting place for bums
getting your scrotum tangled in a ceiling fan
Jimmying
shaking
shimmying
Cunt Tax On Sex Hotline of Ox
Foxhunt IX Colon No Teat Sex
Hot Sex Colon Innate Fox Tux
xXx Colon He Eats Onion Tuft
xXx Colon Fetus Notation, Eh
xXx Colon State of the Union
Ex Ex Gay Go
Ex Gay Go
Gay Go
Bi Go
the limiting behavior of a function when the argument tends towards a particular value or infinity, usually in terms of simpler functions
only understanding about forty percent of Big O but liking it anyway
the sweet touch of a mo' swan love
the sweet touch of a woman's love
having a whole lot of fun but now the time has come, you need the sweet touch of a woman's love
wishing you had Benjie's butt
Jessie's girl has got it goin' on
wishing you had Jessie's girl
Jupiter's ring
Jupiter Rectum, It Darn Near Killed 'Em
Jupiter Rectum
Jupiter Sigmoid Colon
Jupiter Descending Colon
Jupiter Transverse Colon
Jupiter Ascending Colon Ascend Harder
you'd be salty if you'd been underground for four point five billion years
wondering if Jupiter Ascending will get a sequel, so that we can refer to it as Jupiter Ascending Colon
Sailor Makemake
Confirmed Colon Jupiter's moon Ganymede has a salty, underground ocean
Tiny Tiger, Mini Dragon
going to college at twenty one and being amazed by even the third year students believing you must be a doctoral candidate because of your advanced years and lack of significant debts
not going to college sooner, before the joy of youth was sucked from my body by that succubus time
Tiny Tiger vs Mini Cobra
having a hit of the fart, eh
Robert Downey Jr, as Mr Anion's Troy Skank, gifts little boy a mini cobra
finding that Enterprise has aged a lot better than some of the other Star Trek series, but not really liking the war season
Arnold T Schwarzenglider
having faith of the heart
having never really watched much Enterprise because it sucked
Feeding Sugar Gliders Onion and Garlic
furry little things that go well with onions
Robert Downey Jr, as Iron Man's Tony Stark, gifts little boy a bionic arm
a sign of a decline in political ethics and the destruction of the American establishment from within
how many conch penis videos there are singing a little song, trying to hum along, entertaining Christopher Guest
how many conch penis videos there are singing a little song, trying to hum along, entertaining a Christmas guest
how many conch penis videos there are
singing a little song, trying to hum along, entertaining a Christmas guest
Onion Slop
Snoop Lion
Frozen Two Colon Frozen II Frozen
the time Jonathan Archer banged a talking slug
Dickworld what a way to go
Dickworld
what a way to go
the death of Terry Pratchett having impure thoughts about a redhead Winona Rider
the death of Terry Pratchett
having impure thoughts about a redhead Winona Rider
kind of going off blondes around the time you stopped listening to Jewel
Jewel would be a hot redhead, meow
Stacy's mom has got to go on a sex offender's register
getting an erection on hearing about another man becoming erect at the thought of a redheaded popstar
Turkish Minecraft Wars
Minecraft owner Microsoft is investigating reports the Turkish government is preparing to ban the game
YET ANOTHER erection
that genuinely you will give pop stars a second chance no matter how much you disliked their music on first listen if you know them to be redheads
another erection
living each day in the summertime, when the weather is fine
Stacy's mom is portrayed as a pert, oily, pop redhead
living each day in springtime
on the desk in front of everyone
the hot teacher you had when you were nine
an erection
Stacy's mom is portrayed as a predatory pedophile
the few months as a seventeen year old when the cable company unwittingly unscrambled everything and you basically didn't sleep
that you clearly remember being nine years old and having to go to the front of the class to show your work to your teacher, who probably only realised from the other kids' reaction that you had an erection
wondering if kids these days, with their instantaneous one click access to petabytes of internet porn, understand the illicit thrill of seeing a friend's older sister in a bikini, or watching scrambled Playboy channel, or a pilfered lingerie catalogue
that none of your friends, either male or female, had hot moms as a kid, although you did have a friend with an unspeakably hot older sister
if her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her mom's got it going on, masturbate in her bathroom
winning the Academy Award for Forced Anal Penetrant with seventeen year olds
poodoo
possibly being the only person besides George Lucas who would watch a Cluesoesque movie about the great detective Jar Jar Binks and consequently perhaps not being the best person to ask about comedy, or almost anything
Bryan Singer actually still has a career too
not being sure you ever heard Stacy's Mom, and watching the video with the sound off
Roman Polanski still gets Oscars, they love him in Hollywood
pedophiles, structured around a beloved comedy classic
we'd probably get heat for making a sitcom about two pedophiles, structured around a beloved comedy classic
Stacy's mom is the centerfold
wondering if we would get heat for playing into stereotypes and making the gay one the neat one
wondering what it says about a society where people's reaction to a music video including a scene implying a twelve year old boy's masturbation is "oh man, awkward!!!" and not "hey, that's borderline child abuse"
wondering which one would be the neat freak
being kind of creeped out by the way Stacy was portrayed as a nascent sexual creature in the Stacy's Mom video, but guessing that was probably an intended effect
imagining a remake of The Odd Couple with Bryan Singer and Roman Polanski
she's definitely of legal age now
being more attracted to Stacy than Stacy's mom in the Stacy's Mom video and feeling like you should be rooming with Roman Polanski
wondering if you had a stroke in your sleep, because words ending in es are really confusing you
Okay Kimono I
Stacy boils the dog in milt for no particular reason
boiling milt for no particular reason
Stacy masturbates the dog catcher in her bathroom
Stacy catches the dog masturbating in her bathroom
Stacy watches the boy masturbating in her bathroom
no particular reason
meandering around Tate St Ives thinking about Rachel Colon for no particular reason
boiling milt
Rachel colon the most dangerous game
hunting Rachel
not realising until you had wasted lots of guys that when your boss said he wanted them out of the way, he meant it literally
never really understanding what the fuss was about Rachel Hunter
economiyaki
using the word "okonomiyakitastic"
also, the kidnapping thing
genuinely becoming frightened that you had forgotten an entire chunk of your life
dreaming that you accidentally kidnapped someone, but becoming increasingly frantic as you realised while going out for supplies that you couldn't recall the address or location of the house you had left them in despite believing you had once lived there
it went down the wrong pipe
okonomiyaki
Some People have Too Many Dongs
Some People have Too Many Legs
pitching the sitcom "Doctors With Boarders", a wry look at young professionals moonlighting as landlords
the pot calling the kettle colored, then immediately apologizing
Stacy catches the boy rubbing one out in the bathroom at church
Stacy catches the boy masturbating in her bathroom
letting the milt boil over while you momentarily tried to think of inane lice regrets
letting the milk boil over while you momentarily tried to think of inane lice regrets
that Stacey's mom has got inane lice
that Stacey's mom has got it goin' on
we're inane lice
they're inane lice
she's inane lice
he's inane lice
your inane lice
you're inane lice
it's inane lice
it's a nice line
that you don't read the Daily Mail, don't like it, and do not want to come across as defending it, because you're not defending it, but Gawker calling anything the Voltron of Shit is the biggest instance of the pot calling the kettle African American ever
Voltron of Shit
having a really great ninety minute conversation
finishing up ninety minutes of mutual oral gratification with a woman before coming to the regret index to write about anagrams and gay porn
reading the Daily Male will give you prostate cancer
reading the Daily Mail will give you brain cancer
Calista Flockhart looks distraught leaving hospital after keeping bedside vigil with Harrison Ford after plane crash
Kira, who is named after the protagonist in Ayn Rand's anti communist novel, "Living Wet, Eh"
Kira, who is named after the protagonist in Ayn Rand's anti communist novel, "Weevil Night"
communist novel, "We the Living"
Kira, who is named after the protagonist in Ayn Rand's anti communist novel, "We the Living"
you can help Wikipedia by completing it
is this some kind of stub
is this some kind of bust
peeing iffy from plutonium
the UPPU club
accepting the vile apology of a vile being
a thousand reflections of my own sweet self, self, self, self
we're vile creatures
I knew I should have never mentioned that, because everything that gets posted here turns into something vile
beginning at age seven all males regularly submit to Sunday Brunch
poof ass feces
beginning at age seven all males regularly submit to oral
faeces spoofs
caffe sospeso
acrid taste
pro lech cans
lech porn sac
corn scalp, eh
penal scorch
UPPU
conch pearls
beginning at age seven all males regularly submit to oral penetration by adolescents in a six stage initiation process, as the Sambia believe that regular ingestion of an older boy's semen is necessary for a prepubescent youth to achieve sexual maturity
The semen of heavy smokers and drinkers tends to carry a more acrid taste
fellatio
felonious horatio
Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian
slamming your dick in tar or cod, eh
stupid babies deserve a quiet night
Sithy Shades of Grey
impotent sand babies need stout tit, eh
stupid babies need ten Ottoman tits, eh
stupid babies need the most attention
The abbreviation "LOL" means "Lucifer Our Lord" and is used in prayer by Satanists
having never had dinosaur sex
a land where they live for today 'cause tomorrow is too far away
taking a deep breath, and shaking off the blues
that is if you're on for Monday
I think we should lay out the ground sheets before we meet, and possibly engage the services of a medic
I apologize for that, but I think that we should lay out the ground rules before we actually meet
I've already been stood up once this week
there's still time
voting haven't done it yet on nine one five nine five
having dinosaur sex with agenty fiftyseven in twentyfifteen
inside of agenty fiftyseven it's too dark to get into a serious webcomics discussion
getting into a serious webcomics discussion in agenty fiftyseven
getting into a serious webcomics discussion in twentyfifteen
Vegan Kento Meatsack
Kento Meatsack
Kento Ikeda
Chet Meatsack
being coerced into licking a full serving of mulukhiyah off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
being coerced into hungrily eating emu offal via hulks
Gene Talia
baiting Gene into a full serving of mulukhiyah
eating coerced into being a full serving of mulukhiyah
being coerced into eating a full serving of mulukhiyah
moroheiya
malukhiyah
mulukhiyya
molohiya
molokhia
mloukhiya
mulukhiyah
looking for dildos in all the wrong dumpsters
looking for dildos in all the wrong places
hanging around bin o' sex with Bicoid Babe, looking for dildos
hanging around bin o' sex
hanging around in boxes
inboxes
hanging around brains
hanging around in bras
hanging around in bars
putting on women's clothing
emails about planning Chelsea's wedding or my mother's funeral arrangements, condolence notes to friends as well as yoga routines, family vacations, the other things you typically find in inboxes
being okay
being a lumberjack
running, running away from here
being a hapax legomenon wheels
being a toilet on wheels
being a lemon on wheels
toilet humour
being a Lewes non dom, eh
being a demon on wheels
trout limo, eh
sharp, curved claws on the suction cups of squid testicles cut up the rubber coating on the hull of the USS Stein
toilet humor
sharp, curved claws on the suction cups of squid tentacles cut up the rubber coating on the hull of the USS Stein
the porpoise of C Mao is to Eiffel Tower
it's hard to grasp
wondering what porpoise that would serve
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chairman Mao and a finless porpoise
Lake Dongting
trying washing them with a small amount of ammonia to remove any odor trapping hair
buying new sheets a month ago and having washed them three times but they still smell like sheet rot
trying washing them with a small amount of ammonia to remove any odor trapping thoroughly modern Millie
trying washing them with a small amount of ammonia to remove any odor trapping phantom of the opera
trying washing them with a small amount of ammonia to remove any odor trapping grease
buying new sheets a month ago and having washed them three times but they still smell like the store
Sting as Zarm
This was explained by the fact that the characters thought of drug addiction as "pollution of the mind"
toilet turtles
es sieht geheimnisvoll aus
toilet lithium
toilet metal
toilet wood
toilet air
toilet heart
toilet wind
toilet earth
toilet fire
water to tile
they used it to make Kento
being the Sith tea atheist
toilet water
being the shit tea atheist
being the athiest atheist
when they made Stephen Fry, they broke the mould, and then they used it to make Kento
even avowed athiest Stephen Fry considers Kento God's greatest mistake
God hates Eiffel Towering
Squid Spermatophore mini talk
that apparently after everything that's been said tonight, the implied relation of Kento to 'god's mistake' was too much to bear
skullis dot com
spooning God's mistake
spooning Kento's god
Kento's poon, God
growlr
grumblr
God's poon, Kento
Go's pod on Kento
Kento's poo dong
Kento's pond goo
Kento's goon pod
Kento's gonopod
Kento's aedeagus
mammals no longer needed to be orally raped by squids
the OG sixtyniner's, Big Unit, and Junior Jiz Mafia for keeping the tradition alive
in my country, it's all about the kid in YOU
it's all about the dog in me
spawn rush
playing Sim Salmon IV but really wanting to go back and play SimSalmon MM, even though the graphics make your eyes bleed
the death of Sim Salmon
the death of Sam Simon
FULLY FUNCTIONAL Zaranites
Zaranites
headaches, we don't need no stinking headaches
sometimes it takes a while to find the perfect one, but it's worth it
LionO cum grenade
LionO menace drug
condom FREEDOM eagle
miracle on nude Go
damning oreo clue
loonier acme dung
gonad income rule
Uncle Amigo drone
lurid ocean gnome
Harvey's Oil Cream Dungeon
crude tapir gleam
unclaimed Oregon
our genocidal men
genial condor emu
Roman genie cloud
cum donor lineage
condom ruin eagle
nuncio dogma reel
no unclaimed ogre
our angelic demon
corn media lounge
agile dunce moron
urine gale condom
a glee unicorn mod
ogle more nun acid
oil cream dungeon
crude onion gleam
a cum drool engine
un coglione madre
being told in Italian on twitter that you're going to be a mother jerk
you just didn't see my hand under the stall door
being told in Italian on twitter that you're going to be a mother
jerk
being stood up
Navajo inspired recent comments
a woman in a sheer triangle bra suggestively stares at the camera on her hands and knees, a woman clad in nothing but legwarmers and panties looks more demure
Strange Magic
there are five lights
Picard regrets that there are four lights
dumpr
coldshouldr
fistr
ikedr
nuttr
kronr
rikr
Rikrets
Picard regrets
peccary regrets
pessary regret
pessimistic regrets
optimistic regrets
tomorrow's regrets, today
December twenty thirteen was four years ago
near and far, the desert sand, it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere
the comments went away in December twenty thirteen
so at last, you understood
a moment later
sure enough
knowing some day you'd face the test
the mountain quest
near and far, the desert sand
those auto generated news sites that use random retweets of actual article links as 'sources'
suddenly missing the comments, then relaxing as you realise it's been something stupid like two years since they went away